The Royal Brat and the Apple Knight

by PeacefulKnightofChrist

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Apple Bloom, Comedy
Length: 3711

Diamond Tiara hates/loves Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom loves/hates her right back.

Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom can't figure out if they want to kill each other or kiss each other.

Published 2018-11-24 21:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-24 21:40:01 UTC

Grades

Diamond stomped down Ponyville school houses' steps, angrily grumbling to herself. Beside her, Apple Bloom cheerfully bounced down the stairs. Both teenage fillies held tests papers. One was marred with colorful red marks. The other was decorated in green checks.

Diamond cut a glare at her academic rival. "How in the world did you get a better grade than me?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "I studied."

Diamond stomped her hoof. "I studied too, Shieldflank!"

"...That ain't even an insult. Diamond, there's something I've been wonderin' since I was eight years old. Why are you so obsessed with my flank?"

Diamond's cheeks crimsoned. "I am not!"

"No, you are. That's why you failed the test. You were too busy staring at my flank."

"You shut up!" Diamond suddenly shoved her, lingered on her powerful muscles that had been shaped by countless hours of honest labor.

Apple Bloom stepped to the side. "Aw, thanks for the pat on the back, Old Pal." She grinned.

Diamond trampled the grass, caught up in a tantrum of the like unseen since she had been a toddler. "You make me so mad I want to kiss you!"

"Uh, what?"

"Kick you! You make me so mad I want to kick you!"

Apple Bloom punched the air. "As much as I'd love to stay and tussle, I got to go conferencing with the girls, then I got my chores at the orchard. See ya around, Sugar Cube."

The other Crusaders snickered to themselves as their third member hurried to join them. Scootaloo hoof-bumped her."That was awesome. I can't believe she's still trying to mess with you. We're not kids anymore."

Sweetie Belle glanced back at Diamond's retreating form, sighed. "She's not so bad. I think she was just upset about failing the test."

Scootaloo shook her head. "That test was hard! I don't blame her. At least I got a B-."

"C." Sweetie reported.

"I got a B." Apple Bloom stepped onto the cobblestone road leading into town. "So, anypony have any ideas on our cases?"

It was a pleasant day. A spring wind, holding promises of Summer days, lifted and played with the Crusader's manes. Yellow dandelion petals and fluff floated on the breeze. In the blue sky, wisps of clouds danced. Merchants haggled in their booths, beneath red and white awnings. Scootaloo rolled along on her scooter, her friends being too big to be tugged along after her anymore.

Her wings had grown in, gorgeous orange feathers sliding down her back and more than capable of sending her soaring through the sky when she chose to.

She just preferred her scooter. Apple Bloom smiled at the thought. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Sweetie Belle was musing on her personal case, a colt who couldn't figure out what to do with an archery cutie mark. Scootaloo rolled into Sweet Apple Acres. "Royal Guard, duh."

Sweetie Belle groaned. "I told him that, but his dad wants him to help run the family business! They're all turnip farmers."

Scootaloo made a face. "I hate turnips."

"They ain't so bad, depends on how you make'em." Apple Bloom pushed open the fence and they stepped into Sweet Apple Acres.

...
Diamond Tiara paced. Her homework was placed in a neat pile on her white desk. She made another circuit on her pink carpet then plopped down on her cushion, laying on her belly. A groan escaped her lips as she scanned her algebra.

"Diamond?" There was a knock on her door. "Are you doing your homework or are you jogging in there?"

She groaned again, louder this time. "Dad, stick to being a business pony, you're not a comedian."

He pushed the door open and peaked his head in. "You didn't answer my question, Sweetie."

She closed her eyes, sighed. "Yes, Dad."

"So, if I checked, I'd see it was at least partly done? You've been up here for an hour."

Had it been that long? She glanced out her window. The sun was inching ever steadily towards the west, casting golden-late afternoon light over the hills. Her vision lingered on the leafy orchard before she turned away back to her father who was frowning at her.

"Diamond?"

She rubbed her forehead. "I've been thinking about it."

He sat down beside her. "You need to stop thinking about it and start doing it."

"I know."

He patted her head. "Maybe you should take a snack break."

"Not hungry."

"Is everything alright, Sweetie?"

She stood, stretched out a crick in her back leg. "Just...disappointed cause I failed the test."

He stood too, faced her. "Crisis of confidence? Trust me, the first time I ever turned a loss at Barnyard Bargains I didn't think it'd ever get better. But it did. Cause I persevered."

She weakly smiled. "Thanks for the pep talk, Dad."

"Anytime."

She rubbed one foreleg against the other. "There's something else."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Sort of, er, a mare talk sort of thing. I might go see Mom."

"You willingly talking to your mother? The world must be about to come to an end."

Diamond shook her head. "No, no. My other mom. My teacher."

He nodded. "Miss Starlight? You call her Mom now?"

Diamond scratched her hoof against the carpet. "I have lately. She's been more of a mom to me since, you know."

He nuzzled her. "I understand."

She nuzzled back. "I need to finish my homework first, right?"

"Even if you were visiting your real mother, absolutely." He pushed her back down. "Sorry, Honey. I learned my lesson on being lax with discipline when you were eleven."

Had he learned it before, maybe she wouldn't still be struggling...she shook that thought aside. No blaming her father. That was the first rule Starlight had given her. It was nopony's fault, but her own. She picked up her pencil. "Alright."

"Do you want my help?"

"Nah."

He sat down beside her anyway. "I'll be here if you do."

She muttered a thank you.

He hesitated. "Diamond, are you sure you can't talk to me about whatever it is?"

She wrote down part of the answer to the fiendish problem. "It's a mare thing."

He raised an eyebrow. "It's a colt."

She scribbled down more of the answer, moved onto the next problem. "Not exactly."

"A filly?"

She jerked up. "I don't have a crush on Apple Bloom!" At the hurt look on his face, her ears wilted. "Sorry, Daddy."

He smirked. "You're adorable."

"Am not."

"Look, if you have feelings for Apple Bloom, it's completely alright."

She scribbled increasingly nonsensical solutions until his gentle hoof stilled hers. "I don't. She just annoys me so much. She makes me so mad! And! I! Don't! Understand! Why!" She jabbed down the pencil with each word until the point snapped. He hoofed her the pencil sharpener and she set to work, pushing the pencil into a hole and grinding down.

"Diamond, maybe you're not mature enough to realize what you're feeling. What does she make you feel?"

She yanked out the pencil. "Weird. When I'm around her, I get really frustrated. My stomach feels weird. I can't think."

"Uh-huh. And you don't have a crush."

"Shut up and help me figure out how to solve this coefficient."

"What's the magic word?"

"Please Daddy?" She fluttered her eyes.

"Good filly."

"No I'm not," She mumbled.

...
Apple Bloom stared out the window of the clubhouse. The walls of their office were plastered with pictures of their earliest success stories. Their fame had spread far and wide throughout Equestria and beyond. At some point, they'd started putting pictures of their happy clients in the stacks of binders that sat in a corner. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were talking about something.

Scootaloo cleared her throat. "And in conclusion, Diamond Tiara's butt."

Her ears perked up. "Wha-"

Sweetie Belle hid her grin behind her hooves.

Scootaloo picked up a file. "Now that I've got your attention, what should we do about Mr. Turnip Archer? Family's your thing."

Apple Bloom snapped up the folder. "Tell him to tell his pa to stop bein' ridiculous and accept him as he is. He got his mark for a reason."

Scootaloo took back the folder. "I figured that from you. Straight shooting. "

Sweetie ran a hoof through her mane. "But he loves his dad. He doesn't want to be mean."

"He don't have to be. Why don't we meet with him together?"

"Good idea." Scootaloo grabbed the appointment book. "We're free all next week so let's contact him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Why not today?" Apple Bloom laid down at their table.

"Cause we need to talk about Diamond Tiara's butt."

"Scootaloo! We agreed we'd be delicate when we brought it up!"

Apple Bloom looked from one of her friends to the other. "What in the world are you two talkin' about?"

Scootaloo released a long sigh. "Well, what do you think of her butt?"

Her cheeks burned. "I don't think about her butt that much!"

Scootaloo smirked. "So, you do think about it?"

"I don't! What's all this about?"

Sweetie Belle patted Apple Bloom's shoulder. "Look, 'Bloom. We've been friends for a long time and we just think-"

"That you two should just kiss already and get it over with."

Sweetie face hoofed. "Scootaloo, for Celestia's sake..."

Apple Bloom's face was now the color of her namesake. "I do not want to kiss Diamond Tiara! Why would I want to do that? Just the idea! I mean, sure she looks good and she's always makin' herself look pretty and, she is just so vain the way she styles her mane and tail and, well, you can't help but notice her, but looks ain't everything and...and..."She wrapped a strand of mane around a hoof. "...Darn it."

She marched from one end of the room to the other. "Just, I mean, okay, let's say I did want to kiss her." She stopped. "That'd just be stupid cause I know she don't want to kiss me! She hates me! Always has! She don't bully me no more, at least not as much, but we don't get along." Her shoulders slumped. "I look back and think, what did I do? I never did nothin' to her, at least, I don't think I did and I'm awful sorry if I ever did, but..."

Sweetie Belle slowly stepped forward, stopped her friend's pacing with a hoof to her withers. "I don't think you ever did anything, but have you just talked to her about this?"

"Once or twice, but then we just end up shouting at each other."

Scootaloo preened an errant feather. "Maybe you two just need a good hate fuck."

"Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle's outraged shriek bordered on her pre-adolescent squeaks.

Scootaloo shrugged. "Worked for me and Rumble." She grinned. "Let me tell you why they call him Rumble-"

Sweetie Belle raised a hoof. "We'll get back to that later." She paused. "Also, it's not polite to brag."

Scootaloo scoffed. "You guys are just jealous."

"Well, yeah, kind of."

Apple Bloom stomped her hoof. "Can we just get back to our cases?"

Sweetie Belle blew a strand of mane out of her eyes. "Nah, your love life is more interesting."

Apple Bloom groaned. "You're as bad as Rarity."

"Thanks."

Apple Bloom couldn't help but giggle at that one. "So, what do you think I should do?"

A well-placed hoof silenced Scootaloo. "Yes, Scoots, we all know what you think, but this real life, not a porno."

Scootaloo grumbled unhappily around the hoof in her mouth. Apple Bloom picked up a manilla folder, flipped through it. "Honestly, y'all, just tell me what I should do."

Scootaloo blew a raspberry and Sweetie Belle jerked back, leaving her free to speak. "Just talk to her. Go right up to her and ask her what's up."

"Do you think it'll be that easy?"

"Nah, but it'll be a start, right?"

"I think Scootaloo's right."

She gaped. "You do?"

"Yep. That's actually a good idea."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

Apple Bloom chuckled. "Okay, that's what I'll do. Thanks for the talk, but I got to get to my chores."

They hoofbumped and left the clubhouse, Scootaloo hopping onto her scooter, spreading her wings and riding on the air. Sweetie Belle bounced after her while Apple Bloom went off towards the orchard.

...
Diamond no longer knocked at the door to the jagged, pastel crystal palace that stood at the center of town. Nopony did. When somepony needed to present a petition or settle a dispute, check out a book or just talk, the Princess of Friendship's door was always open.

So, she walked up to the brightly colored doors and stepped inside. The cool floor jolted away the afternoon drowsiness. From somewhere further down the hall, supper smells wafted. Fried hay casseroles if she wasn't mistaken. She trailed down the long, winding corridors. Orange rays of light played on the light blue walls, bathing everything in a fiery glow.

It took a few minutes before she found the room in the vast space even though she'd walked this path countless times. The Dusk Guard, decorated in purple armor, nodded to her as she trotted by. Starlight had confided to her that the Guard wasn't to keep Twilight safe-Twilight's name struck fear into the hearts of demons in Tartarus-it was to keep the sociable princess from going insane due to loneliness.

And a sane Twilight made a safe Ponyville.

The familiar laughter of seven mares and a dragon rang out from the throne room. Weekly poker night between the Elements and their friends, Diamond thought. Captain Tempest Shadow gave her a stern, yet friendly, greeting which she returned. The captain returned to her patrol of the corridor.

Diamond hesitated at the door. Starlight had said they could talk at any time, but had she really meant that? Maybe, she should go see her other mom. That's right, ask the narcissistic sociopath for moral advice. You make such good life choices!

She no longer bullied others, she just bullied herself. Setting hesitation aside, she gave the door the lightest of taps.

"Door's unlocked!" Miss Pinkie Pie shouted.

Diamond pushed the door open.

Starlight looked up from over her cards and a big amount of chips. "Oh, hey Diamond! Come on up!"

Spike pulled up a chair. He now came up to her shoulders, still being counted as a "baby" dragon. She sat down next to Rarity. "Hi, Mom, everypony. Um...Do you think we could talk for a sec? In private?"

Starlight laid down her cards. "Sure. Sorry guys, duty calls."

The others, many of whom had their own apprentices at this point in their careers, nodded in understanding. Diamond followed the Unicorn out the door. Starlight closed it behind her. "What's wrong, Diamond?"

Diamond looked down at the floor. "I kind of..."

Starlight lifted her chin so she had no choice but to look in her eyes. "Go on."

"It's Apple Bloom. I kind of had a fight with her. Again."

Starlight hummed. "What happened?"

Diamond looked away from Starlight. "She got a better grade than me and I started taunting her and then she started making fun of me. I got really mad." She looked up at her. "I know we talked about me controlling my temper, but I really lost it."

Starlight sat, tucking her forelegs beneath her. Diamond laid across from her.

"Well, I'm not disappointed in you. It takes time to learn to be a better Pony."

"I've been trying since I was eleven."

"Like I said, it takes time. It seems like you and Apple Bloom are always fighting. It doesn't seem to happen with anypony else."

Diamond suddenly started paying great attention to the crystal beneath her. "She annoys me. I don't know why."

Starlight rubbed her chin. "If she made a better grade, why not ask her to help you study?"

"I couldn't. She hates me. Not that she doesn't have a reason not to."

Starlight reached over and ran a hoof through her mane. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you. Apple Bloom's a sweetheart. You just need to try reaching out to her."

Diamond looked away. "Is it really so simple? We've been fighting for so long."

Starlight patted her cheek. "I know a good way to start. It's called an apology."

Diamond made a face. "I hate those."

"Nopony-no creature-is fond of them. It means you screwed up and no one likes to admit to that."

"I wasn't the only one. It's like she eggs me on."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Who started it?"

Diamond avoided the piercing gaze of the older mare.

Starlight sighed. "Look, if you apologize first, maybe she will."

Diamond looked up. "You really think so?"

"Maybe not, but it's likely. I know Apple Bloom almost as much as I know you. Just give her a chance, okay? Think you can do that for me?"

Diamond reached up and threw her forelegs around Starlight's neck. "If you really think I can..."

"I do."

"Then I will."

Starlight embraced her and nuzzled her cheek. "Alright. Want to come inside and play a few rounds?"

Diamond broke away. "Nah, I'd better get this over with. Thanks for the talk, Mom."

Starlight patted her shoulder. "Anytime."

...
Diamond trudged down the road leading to Sweet Apple Acres. The cobblestone was strewn with leaves. She kicked them as she walked by. Occasionally, she'd mumble to herself. It was in this state, head low and a murmur babbling from her lips, that she slammed into a yellow wall made of muscle.

"Wha-Watch we're you're going!" She snapped her head up and into the face of the Pony had been going to apologize to.

Apple Bloom growled and shoved her. "What is your problem?"

Diamond stomped her hoof. "What's my problem? What's my problem!" She lunged for her, suddenly muzzle to muzzle. "Why do you have to do this? Always get on my case!"

Apple Bloom stepped back. "You're the one that's always messin' with me!"

"You just had to rub your grades in my face! Like you're not already perfect! Oh, you studied! And I'm just the spoiled rich girl that's never done a bit of hard work in her life!" Spittle was flying from her lips, she was pounding the earth, feeling magic from the soil strengthening her muscles, flowing in ways she couldn't control.

Apple Bloom stood her ground, but Diamond could sense magic infusing her own muscles, stabilizing her so she stood as rooted as a tree.

Of course, she had better control than Diamond did.

The farmer spoke from gritted teeth. "I never, not once, rubbed my grades in your face. You're the one that brought it up. You did that. I have never, not once, looked down on you. Is that what you think?"

"Yes!" Diamond shouted, starting to hyperventilate. "Ever since you got your mark! You're...you're a knight, Apple Bloom. Going out, helping others. Going on your damned crusades to show everypony the light." Something in her broke and she sagged. "I'm the princess and not the kind everypony likes. I'm just the spoiled brat tyrant."

"You sure as hell don't have to be! I know you can be nice! I know you can be better than you are!"

"Stop preaching to me!" Something inside her snapped and the next thing she knew she was lunging at Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom, with a magic infused swing knocked her aside and then she was straddling her. Diamond Tiara grunted and struggled, attempting to knock her off.

Apple Bloom drew up her hoof and brought it down, but Diamond managed to catch it with her own, pulling the other teenager onto the ground so that they were side-by-side. Pressing her advantage, she lept onto her. Apple Bloom effortlessly knocked her off because of course she did. Diamond scrambled back onto her hooves and they charged each other, both of them spinning into a mud hole.

Struggling through the muck, both of them pummeled each other, blows landing wildly. The mud thrown up by their tangling was sent everywhere, cut off their sight of each other so that most of their blows struck empty air. Later, neither could remember who had started laughing, only that one minute they were beating the tar out of each other and the next minute, they were throwing mud clods at each other in pure, unrestrained, fillyish glee. Diamond picked up a clod and tossed it with all her might and it splashed in Apple Bloom's face. Apple Bloom scooped up a big pile of mud and swung it against her so her crown was sent tumbling.

Diamond shouted and snatched it back up. "You uncouth swine!"

"You're the one in the mud! You're the swine!"

"You're in the mud too!" A snort of laughter broke from Diamond's lips. That only seemed to encourage Apple Bloom who outright guffawed. Her guffaws made Diamond laugh even harder, till she was doubling over. Their laughter rang out, mixed together.

Diamond wiped away some tears. "I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed my dad and mentor are going to be in me."

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Tell your dad ya slipped in a mud hole. That's what I'm going to do. We don't got no bruises cause of that good ol' Earth Pony endurance. I think you're gonna get away with this. What's Starlight gotta do with it?"

Diamond tucked her legs under her, trying to regain her ladylike poise. "She advised me to apologize. That's actually what I was coming to do."

Apple Bloom scratched her ear. "Yeah, I was coming to see you too."

Silence descended.

"Why?" Diamond was the first to break the silence.

"I just want to know why you always act so mad at me."

Diamond stood and Apple Bloom did the same. "It's stupid. I'm stupid."

"No, you're not. Well maybe a little."

Diamond couldn't stop herself from laughing. "Look, Apple Bloom, I really messed up. How does some time at the spa sound as an apology? My treat."

Apple Bloom smiled. "Well, I have some time before supper's ready. Let's go."

Side by side, they trotted back towards town.