Of Booze and Berries

by Saris Daddy

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Human, Narcotics, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex
Length: 2417

Young man turns into a certain history teacher part of the Canterlots Adventure universe

Hi my Name is Martin ... At least it was.

I have no idea what happened one day I was doing my job, coming home getting drunk.
And the next day I wake up a chick called Berry... Who calls their daughter Berry?

Part of the Canterlot adventure universe:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/214042/canterlot-adventures

Published 2018-11-25 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-26 08:33:27 UTC

Brown as a berry

Pain...

everything hurts...

a stalk of grass keeps tickling my nose...

why is there grass in my bed?

slowly I tried to open my Eyes and find out what was going on.

the new information flooding my brain just increased the Pain in my head.

with a groan I slowly started to stand up... or at least get myself into a sitting position.
the first thing I saw in front of me, was a piece of marble... a socket for a statue or so.
I kept staring at it and slowly but surely my eyes started to regain their focus.
it was dark...thank god for that.

nothing enrages a hangover brain more than the sun.

I slowly stumbled to my feet, all the while doing my best not to acknowledge my reflection in the marble.
carefully I started to take in my surroundings.
behind me stood a big building like a school or something
'...yeah it is a school.'a voice in my head said
'no Idea why I know this...'
'because I work here...'
'what?'
my inner monologue just confused me more, so I opted to ignore it.
beyond the statue thingy there was a road.

On the other side of the road there where some houses but nothing to unusual.

I started to muster my reflection.
I had become a pinkish woman. red eyes, red hair pinkish purple skin ... a total crime against nature.

I wore a dark skirt which went down to my knees and black stockings below it.
on my feet I wore some comfy looking sneakers.
I also wore a white blouse and a brown woollen jacket over it. which appeared to be hand knit.
If I ignored the fact that my skin was ... Lavender coloured? I was actually rather cute... If I dare say so.

I sat there mustering myself for what felt like hours.
All the while I struggled to make heads or tails out of the whole ordeal.

To make things worse ... I needed to use the little girls room.
And apparently I can't even talk like a man anymore.

Desperate times call for desperate measures

I felt fabric ripping and heard a bird angrily tweeting while I started to make my way into the shrubbery next to the school building.
"... If my students ever find out I'm doing something like this... Sweet sun."
I mumbled to my self while doing what had to be done.

I have to admit that it was different than I expected.
I fixed my underwear back into place and for a moment I marvelled at the detailed stitching on it. A bundle of grapes and a strawberry... Why would anyone hand stitch his underwear... And even one as fancy as this one? Where I always wore cheap discounter boxer Shorts now I was wearing panties that were ... What am I doing talking about my unmentionables?

After finishing my business inside the shrubbery I tried to make my way out as graceful as I could... Needless to say I stumbled and in the end face planted out of the bush.

"Dear moon am I glad that it is dark."
I wanted to leave the school grounds when I noticed a purse, lying close to the place where I woke up recently.

The purse was decorated with the same design that my panties sported.
'so I guess that means this is ... mine?'
With a questioning expression I started to search the purse for clues.
'chap-stick,bear spray, knife,keys, a hip flask... Is that?' I opened the flask a sniffed it briefly and a medical smell attacked my senses. ' homemade coffee schnapps' I took a deep sip from the flask before I knew what happened.
'Drivers license jackpot. Let's see.
So my name is... Really?
My name is Berry? What kind of name is this?' I checked the address on the piece of plastic only to realize that I had neither heard of the town nor could I say that I was in exactly this town to begin with.
So I carelessly dumped the license back into the purse and kept searching in Hope of something... anything that could help me.

And found... a smartphone... An old model with lots of scraps and dents on the case but the screen was spotless.

I unlocked the screen only to see that somebody had called me multiple times. Also I had new mails.

I opened up the first one.

Mommy you are late loveless in hivecity has already begun. But hakuna matata I'm recording it for you.

Mommy? Me?

Hoh boy... Please don't let this be my phone....

I opened up the next mail.

mommy it's getting really late...
I know you and Aunt Luna go way back but you don't have to let her drag you through the bars every Friday evening.
You promised you would only stay for one or two beers.

just to be clear I'm Angry at you and Aunt Luna.

still love you... But I will go to bed now. Be quiet when you get home.

After reading this I felt the most bizarre mix of emotions I ever experienced.
Pinchy was angry with me... And when I read this correctly... Rightly so.
I opened up the calendar app and wrote a note to myself two days from now.
never trust your drunk or hangover self.

Then I opened up Google maps and activated my GPS and found out that my address was just a few blocks away. So I started walking.

I stood in front of a small house. my phone said it was my address.
I could practically hear my bed Calling me, like a siren would a sailor.

Slowly I started to climb the wooden stairs leading to the door.
For some reason I knew exactly where to step to avoid making noise and even the key fit into the lock on my first try
I stepped into the living room and let my view wander for a bit.
The room was small and cramped but at the same time it felt incredible cozy. Something in me just wanted to lay down, onto the big comfy looking couch and find out if loveless in hivecity would be as good as I think it sounded.

The wall next to me was literally flooded with pictures of "me" and a small girl with a light pink colouring.
Lot's and lots of pictures... And with every picture I felt more and more like a mommy ...

Somehow I could name every depicted event as if I had been there.
Pinchy’s first bike, her fifth birthday party, our first Christmas...
I don't know if this feelings were artificial or my own...

Maybe leftovers from the women whose life I had stolen... Did I steal her life?
Did we simply switch places?
Lot's of questions bombarded my brain and I couldn't answer even one of them.

Filled to the brim with unsolvable conundrums, my brain simply decided to go offline.

Berry nice to meet you

The full moon slowly started to sink behind the hills and the first sun rays sweetened my first cup of coffee.
The bread roll in my left hand was still warm and slowly I walked back to my truck.
The rising sun started to bathe the parking lot in the light of a warm Summer morning.

My name is Martin Voss. I'm twenty eight years old, a Single guy like you could find all over the World.
I worked as a teamster and travelled all across Europe on a daily basis... And I hated it.
Don't get me wrong. It's an important job and all but it wasn't for me.

I just returned from France and had to deliver my cargo in Ludwigsburg.
Some merchants goods for some kind of convention.
My time looked good, maybe I will be able to be on my way home before the peddlers clock the highway.
I climbed back behind the steering wheel of my Mercedes Actros and started the engine.
My radio made some static noises and a voice suddenly proclaimed "Good morning Everybody hope you guys have a good time. Just a quick warning the cops are having a field day near Bissingen station checking cargo safety and papers. Just so you guys know"
I checked the tachograph and inserted a new disk and started to roll off the lot where I had spent the night.

It was only a short distance left and I reached my destination after ten minutes.
A bunch of the merchants were already waiting for me.
"Wunderschönen Guten Morgen."
I said while climbing out of the cockpit. But was only greeted by blank stares.
"You guys don't understand German?" I asked while musing how they wanted to sell their stuff without being able to understand their customers.
"English works?" I asked.
All three of them nodded.

"The roads were free?" one Asian looking guy asked in broken English...
Welp not that my English was a lot better.

"No problems. Except the french drivers... Man those guys really make you fear for your live."
I joked
"So the faster we get this stuff out of my trailer the faster i can drive back home."

The stuff was pretty randomly thrown together and I learned while unloading that the merchants were actually not associated with each other but just threw together to save money.
That was also the reason that I had to collect the cargo in France instead of Hamburg or one of the other cargo ports.

As we finally finished discharging my trailer I collected their signatures and was almost back in my cockpit again.

"Oh wait, please, just a moment!" shouted one of the American merchants and came running after me.

I can't remember her face for the love of it.
But she smiled and gave me a big bottle of wine
"Just a little something to thank you for your hard work. Consider it a bonus for being on time."
I stared confused at her.

"Lady you are thanking a German for being on time? I mean, yeah, thank you but... It's really nothing you should be thanking me for..."
It was a nice looking bottle, green with some dark liquid in it.
on the label there were only some grapes and a strawberry.

"shame I can't drink it now. still have a five hour drive before me." I stated with a slight longing in my voice.

at this she snickered deviously
"Ooh just one sip wouldn't hurt now, would it? trust me the taste of this wine is magical?" she cooed with a seductive voice.

I sighed.
"Lady I do this for a living.
You know what would happen if I were caught up in a police control and I would even have a hint of alcohol on me?
I would loose my job and my drivers license. I do not drink and drive...EVER." I stated with absolute certainty, then I felt like an ungrateful ass hat and added.
"Don't get me wrong thank you for the wine. I hope you guys have a lucrative time here." I said while securing the bottle in my cockpit.

the drive home was long and uneventful and as I finally parked my Truck for the day, I cleaned out my cockpit and reported my route to our office.
I haven't been home for two days and I really longed for my bed.

A quick drive home later and I finally opened up the door to my one-room flat.
the room had nothing much just a big TV, a bed and a desk with a Computer.
I ignored the computer and threw myself onto the bed
"Honey I'm home" I mumbled into my cushion.

after some time of just lying flat on my bed I rolled over switched on the TV and uncorked the bottle of wine.
I knew all that fancy stuff, like you're supposed to let the wine breath after opening it n stuff but at this point I just wanted to get hammered and then sleep.

I sipped the stuff and it was indeed quiet a tasty one.
I drank directly from the bottle.
Television was showing a documentation about Hitler and the third Reich...Again.
I watched it nonetheless.

I was finally starting to feel the buzz when my stomach suddenly cramped up.
with a grunt I raised up from my bed and thumbed over to my bathroom, a small room not big enough to lay down with just the essentials crammed into it. a faucet and a mirror, a toilet (obviously) and a shower cabin.
my wandering gaze stared into the mirror.
something...

something wasn't right...

intently I kept starring at the face in the mirror...

"who is this?" I asked confused.
In the mirror I saw a pink woman.
no other explanation her hair was pink or rosé or so and her eyes were red...

And I don't mean bloodshot or anything...

Her irises were almost the same colour as her hair ...

It was a crime against nature...

to top it all off. her skin changed in front of my yes from normal to a pinkish hue.

in silent shock I took a deep sip from the almost emptied bottle while watching my boobs grew in.
yep I suddenly had boobs and to make my hallucinations complete, my little friend who had accompanied me my whole life, just...

vanished...

all this...

I still watched this in silent shock...

"Man this 'murican stuff must be some homemade swill or so... cuz I could swear ... I just turned into a chick..." I slured while watching everything my senses numbed by the booze.

I emptied the bottle and for a moment i could have sworn the merchant that gave me the bottle was standing infront of me. with her devious expression and her kinda cute snicker.
she said something and I had to giggle like a schoolgirl...

man even my Voice sounded like that of a woman...

after this...

I can't remember anything.

just pain.

Author's Note

Hiya

after reading some stories from the Canterlot adventure group. I kinda got inspired and pumped this here out in one night and without editing (Pls don't kill me :fluttershyouch:) I simply had to get it out of my system... well there is more, true... but yeah. for now this is all I'll give you :rainbowwild: