You Stole My Heart, Sugarcube
B_25
Listen here. It wasn't exactly my intent to end up here, outside, alone, in the snow, drunk and wearin' some hat. Wasn't even my hat. It was somethin' I stole off the dragon before I slapped him somthin' fierce.
Wasn't all that good of a hat, either. It was white around the rim, red the rest of the way, then the darn thing ended in white again—in some white ball that was too darn fluffy for its own good. Stupid hat. Stupid Spike. Stupid me.
I snuggled into myself to try and keep warm. The breeze kept made my fur stand on its own. My skin very well had enough ice over it for a miniature pony to skate across. I couldn't think to save my life.
All I could do was remember.
Remember what started this stupid mess.
“Twilight’s gonna kill you for that one.”
And she did. I won't go into the details of what had happened, only that they fought. There was a whole lot of shouting, and when I tried to peek into the library, a shooting green fire nearly burnt off my mane.
Twilight and Spike weren't too close after that.
“No kidding,” Spike said, leaning against the fence I was sitting atop. The wood creaked from his weight, and when he looked at me, he was so tall that his eyes were leveled with my own “Twilight's already started a secret auction for my tail. First-time ponies will experience dragon meat!” Spike gave a light chuckle at his little impression.. “Her words. I'm screwed.”
“Ya regret it?”
“I...”
Now I wasn't going to be having any of that. “C’mon, you can trust me, Spike.”
“I know.”
“You know,” I said, “but you ain't sayin' anything more than that.” I shook my head, feeling strands of my mane slip out from my ponytail. “You worried 'bout what I may think? That I'll side with Twilight instead of you?”
Spike stood around for a bit longer, doing nothing but staring down, looking at his feet. He seemed pent-up. Couldn't blame him for that—or not wantin' to talk to me neither.
“Listen, I ain't here to give you a lecture. You're outgrown those long ago.” I risked touching his shoulder, feeling his scales and muscles tense. “But I can tell you right now nopony ever gets out of a personal argument without at least bit feelin' frustrated.”
Finally, Spike looked at me again. It always caught me by surprise how much he'd grown. Taller... stronger... his face without all that fat anymore—it was sharp and sleek. But it always posses that aura, one I knew all too well, of frustrated innocence.
“You can relate?”
“Can I relate? Shucks! Ya hardly know me!” I laughed, slappin' his shoulder in the name of good will. “Big Mac has wound me up more times than there are trees on the farm! Why I'd stomp around my room at night I was so mad! He'd sleep right through it too, the peaceful brute.”
“What... did you fight about?”
“Everything, Spike.” I rubbed his back, patting him a few, appreciating how solid he felt a tiny bit. “We'd fight about everything. We'd fight about little things as fiercely as the big things. You may not believe it, but most of the time, the little things are about big things.”
Spike seemed to heed my words some more after that. I always liked that about him. No matter how much ya got him wound up, he was always willing to listen afterward. So long as ya had a good point, of course. That wasn't somethin' I got from Big Mac often. Twilight neither.
“Thanks, Applejack,” Spike said, givin' me a soft smile before lookin' away. “Guess it's kinda the same between Twilight and me. We get along most of the time. I love her to death. But sometimes... sometimes she can be a bit controlling, you know?”
“I reckon most princesses are like that.” I gave him a smile in return. “If not to their kingdoms, at least for their kin. But I bet you already know that.” I rubbed his back some more, finding my hoof going across it, trying to feel more of his shoulder blade. “What she got you so hooked that burnin' a whole library seemed like a good idea?”
Spike didn't answer me at first. He kept looking forward, over the lands and grass, past the trees and hills, where the sun was setting over the distant mountains. He seemed caught up in something, either far away or very close.
“I told Twilight I didn't want to be her assistant anymore,” Spike said while lookin' forward. “Told her I wanted to move out.”
It wasn't exactly a revelation I was ready to hear, but apparently, Spike was old and ready enough to say.
I didn't fight him on it either. Who was I to say anything? I'd left my home and family in the hope of finding something else, somewhere else, with somepony else. Found out everything I wanted was, in fact, back home, but I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much if I never left.
The girls didn't take too kindly to the news. Rarity and Rainbow Dash thought he was overreacting. Pinkie and Fluttershy decided it best not to comment. Twilight's opinion was to yell for two hours about how ungrateful dragons could be. She meant none of it. Somethin' bit at her tail as much as it bit at Spike's.
As for me? Separation fit the two well. They needed it. You can love somepony, but after twenty years together, fights and frustrations are bound to be frequent. So I went and did somethin' silly. Really silly. Got my flanks kicked by the girls after I had done it.
“Why don't ya stay with me then?” I said without really thinkin', and whoa nelly, I phrased that wrong. “Stay with us! T-The Apple Family, I mean. Mac and Applebloom wouldn't mind it much.”
Spike nearly killed me in his embrace. Found him sleeping between buildings in town. Kept true to his word on makin' it in the world on his own. Girls thought he'd get tired enough to go back home and apologize. I wanted none of that.
When Spike had his time, figured out his place, knew what he wanted, then he could truly think for himself. If he still wanted to go home and say he was sorry afterward, then that would be fine by me, all right.
Only thing I wasn't expectin' was the hug. Spike really was a big fella with how he towered over a small gal like me. His arms swept underneath my barrel and lifted me into the air, pulling me against his chiseled chest as he began to spin.
I had my hind legs ready to buck at his groin. It's well known that I ain't a mare that liked to be touched. Even hugs from friends gave me an unpleasant shiver. It was just the way I was raised. Nothin’ wrong with a mare who keeps to herself.
But somethin' about that hug changed me. His arms squeezed against my back, lockin' me in place. Lack of freedom always drove me crazy, makin’ me to start actin' hysterical. But it didn't feel that way with Spike.
He'd picked me up while laughing and wanted to share his happiness with me. That was somthin’ I was jealous of him for. He had no problem of sharin' his feelings,, regardless of how ponies world stare at him for it.
Being held was, well, nice. His wrist had knocked my hat a while back, letting me rest my muzzle against his chest, where I felt the solid wall of his scales. Past the surface, his heart beat rapidly. I giggled at how pure someone like a dragon could be.
I suppose that, in the blindness of his excitement, I let myself to be vulnerable. Feeling my legs go limp, his strong arms supported me up completely, holding me against him without an inch to spare.
I enjoyed how he felt.
And that's where things went wrong.
“Ya sure 'bout this?” Big Mac said. We were standing side by side, both of us starin’ out into the field. “Spike’s a nice fella, but applebuckin’ seems beyond him.” We were watching Spike from afar, seeing him kick a tree... repeatedly. “We're takin' a heavier load with him than the bed holdin’ him at night.”
“What do mean, Mac!!” I pointed at the dragon. “Look at the feller! He's workin' harder than we’ve been for years.”
“He's been workin' all day,” Mac replied, “and his cart's been empty for just as as long! No sense in payin’ a worker that can't work right, AJ, much less givin’ him a room in the house.”
“I'm tellin' you, Mac, that dragon is a startin' investment!” I put my hoof back against the grass. “Think about it. He's bigger and stronger than most of our workers combined. There’s potential in him, Mac.” I sighed. “He just needs somepony to teach him a thing or two.”
Big Mac watched the distant Spike silently, and thank Celestia for that, 'cause I was ready to sock him one. These talks weren't meant to get on my nerves, I knew that. Ever since the farm became his responsibility, he had to consider things like this, though that didn’t mean I had to like it.
“I... just don't think Granny would take too kindly to him stayin' in her room.”
“Granny wouldn't mind at all, bless her soul.” I took a few breaths, forcin’ my racing heart to slow down. “If it's really such an issue with you, then I could have Spike bunk in my room for the time being.”
Mac's eyebrows raised faster than mine could.. “Somthin' you ain't tellin' me 'bout the two of you?”
“Oh, cool it, you.” I rolled my eyes. “You know I didn't mean it like that.” I closed my eyes for a second. Times like these, when you need to win somepony over, it's best to be honest and let your heart do the talkin'. “Listen, Mac... Spike's got himself deep in a ditch right now. We’ve helped Twilight through her times, but Spike seems to always be forgotten about when he has his.”
When I opened my eyes again, Mac wasn't looking at me, but rather, the dragon. We watched him for a bit, silently. He was still kicking the tree as hard as he can, hitting all the wrong places, not far off from breakin' his leg. But that look on his face was what drew our gaze—that focus, dedication, passion and will to get the job done.
Of course, that didn't stop our eyes from goin' wide when his foot went through the tree, causing him to hop in place and curse at the sky for havin' so many clouds. When Mac looked at me again, I lowered my hat over my eyes, smiling the best I could.
“I'll show him the lands,” Mac said. “You show him the trees.”
There was no stoppin' me from boltin' forward and catchin' my brother in a hug. Mac's eyes went wide at the contact—somethin' he wasn't used to gettin' from me. Spike and his ways had grown on me some. The feeling of my brothers soft, red coat, made me grateful for the family I still had left.
“I love ya, Mac.”
It took a few seconds, but his foreleg came around my neck, huggin' me back.
“Love ya too, lil AJ.”
Don't know why I'd gotten so sentimental all of the sudden. Many things, probably. Hearing about the Spike's split-up with Twi played its part. I could hate Mac at times, but if I couldn't hug the big red teddy bear from time to time, why, I'd most likely lose my mind.
But I was glad I told him I loved him. Been a while since I did that. Should start doin' it more often. Probably won't. Nothing better than to know someone ya know has your back.
“But if I catch Spike in your room past nine o'clock,” Mac said, snapping me from my thoughts, “he'll be workin' the farm from six feet under. Got it?”
“Your goal here is to shake the tree,” I said. “Not to break it. Do that, and Mac breaks you.”
“R-Right.” Spike stood in front of me, taking a stance, staring at a tree. “Hit the tree. Have the force move through it. Think of where you want to hit... aim for the sweet spot....” With a heavy exhale, he swung his back leg forward, his foot colliding against the wood, its charged carried inches inside before dispersing near the center of the tree.
“Yes!” Spike clenched his fists, pumping them toward the sky repeatedly. He giggled like a girl, more so every time we heard an apple smack against the wood of his cart. “ center of the tree, aaaaaaaaand shaaaaaaake it aaaaaaaal around!”
The foolish boy even shook his hips. Couldn't stop my eyes from watching how his tail swayed, its thickness constantly blurring his rump, and his tight little backside. My cheeks heated up hotter than a stove. I forced myself to look away.
“Oh, c'mon!” When I looked back, Spike was standing over me. “You can't just be passive while I embarrass myself. It's not fair!”
“Sugarcube, what you do is up to you.” I smiled and giggled at him. '”But ya won't make me act like a silly filly. Pinkie already tried. No way, no how. Just ain't me.”
“Only because you won't let yourself be silly!” Spike exclaimed, throwing out his arms. “It helps to be silly! You get all that pent-up stuff out of your system.” He crouched enough so we were eye to eye. “C'mon, it must be boring being a robot all the time.”
I blushed and giggled and yelled, “I ain't no robot!”
“Lies! I speak your native language.” Spike stood tall again, and this time, made his body rigid, walkin' around me like a metal contraption. “I am Applejack. I detest fun. What is this…. Fun? Does not compute! Does not compute!”
“I do not talk so simple like!”
“I don't know feelings. I am a robot. I have no feelings.” He came to a stop. “Nopony can hear me laugh. They may think of me as a real pony. Must remain stoic. Stoic!”
“I ain't no stoic!”
“Stoic! Stoic! Stoic!”
“I'll show you how stoic I am with my hoof down your throat!” I didn't give him the chance to react when I leaped at him. He yelped, breaking his form. It didn't matter much. My head crashed against his chest, and on the impact, he fell back with me on him. “Giant dragon taken town by a tiny girl. The headlines will eat ya alive!”
“N-No!” Spike grunted as I struggled to climb over him. “I refuse to lose to a robot! History will not lose to technology!”
“I'm about to electrocute you whole if this shtick keeps up!” I was panting while my thighs draped over his chest. I was careful to set my hind legs on his arm, pinnin' 'em to the grass, while my rump crashed down his chest. My tail draped between my legs. “Hope you're ready to meet your maker. One emotion an Apple can always show is anger!”
“That's cute,” Spike said with his head against the grass, a calm expression on his face. He looked peaceful, and I felt scared 'cause of it. “Nonetheless,I raised my forelegs and got ready to beat his cute little face in. “Open wide, Spike, cause here's what you get when you mess with—whoa nelly!”
Something long and strong wrapped around my barrel, easily lifting me into the air. My limbs flailed hopelessly. Down below, I could see the dragon's whole body, and more importantly, his wide smile. “Enjoying the view?”
“That's cheatin' and you know it!” I cried, trying to bat his stupid, far away face.
“I don't believe it!” Spike laughed from underneath me. “Is my little robot actually showing emotion?”
“Emotion is for the weak!” I cried back. “Now you let me free!”
“As you wish.” Should have known better than to trust a dragon. He lowered me to the ground, all right, before tackling me to the grass. His tail snaked through my limbs, holding them in a chain, forcin' em to keep out wide. “Better?”
“You snake!” I cried back. I could feel myself gettin' into character. It'd been a while since I'd done rough-housin' of any kind. I enjoyed it. There was somethin' bout being held—even for evil means. “I'll get you for this!”
“Swearing revenge already?” Spike chuckled down at me, before raising a claw much like I did my hooves. “Glad to see you so active, Applejack! How's life past the mask?”
“I don't wear no darn ma—“ Anything that was about to come out of me got knocked aside by a fit of laughter I didn't even know I was capable of. Spike brought his darn claw to my chest, like he was 'bout to hit me—than those talons of his got toticklin’. “N-No! S-S-Spike! S-Stop! Please! D-Don't Stop!”
What in the world has gotten into me? I could feel his talons workin' through my fur, scracthin' the skin underneath at all the right places. He was a darn master at it too! Pressin' harder at the places that had an extra itch to em. Soon enough, it was hard to see and harder to breathe, constant laughter blastin' past my lips.
It was draining, in a way, of everythin' I'd been carryin' up to then. Everything pent up in my body, out like that, with just but a few fits of laughter. My body felt good. Really good. He'd get underneath my legs a few times— could have made 'em quiver if he really wanted too.
“That should about do it.” Looking down my orange, fluffy chest, I watched as his tail slithered out and off from my limbs. Spike himself sat down next to me, chuckling as much as I was gigglin', both of us panting and staring at each other.
The silence was enjoyable.
“See?” Spike said after a while, after I had sat up. “You're not such a robot after all.” He leaned over with that claw of his, though this time, he scratched behind my ear—makin' it perk up all on its own. “What's this? You got a weak spot, AJ?”
I didn't bother replying. I'd already made a fool out of me. So I nuzzled my head into his palm, feeling some of his talon rest inside my mane, the rest on the back of my ear, where he hit the itch that my left leg go wild like a dog.
“Hey, Applejack?”
My eyes had closed on their own, but still, I nodded my head for the fella.
“I... I wanted to say thanks for everything you did.” He didn't stop scratching the back of my ear. “I know I didn't start off strong out on the field, but... I'm glad you still took a chance on me anyway.” He sighed, and his scratching became slower. “You're not all for mushy stuff, I get that, but I owe you everything.”
“Don't be silly,” I replied, my eyes half-opening. “You're a strong worker. You'll come into your own soon enough.”
“Still, not a whole lot of employment opportunities for a dragon around here, y'know?”
“Fools. The lot of em.” I opened my eyes and stared deeply into his. “It may be hard to believe, but you are a good dragon, Spike.” I smiled at him. “The best one I've ever met, so long as my ear stays a secret between you and me.”
Spike smiled back. “I like it when you're happy.”
I only giggled. “Same to you, partner.”
It wasn't long before trouble found itself on our farm.
Should have expected it sooner, to be honest. It'd been nearly a month. Spike had finally come into his own. Went to work on his own, did jobs thath would have taken two workers to complete, yet kept humble about the whole thing—sayin’ being a dragon let him do more, but didn't entitle him to more.
He became the house chef not long after movin' in. Now I can see, or rather, taste why Twilight was so mad when he left. But she didn't plan on things stayin' that way. Only after partin' with Spike late one evening did I happen upon Twilight on a stroll across the farm.
“Applejack,” she said, “we need to talk.”
I smiled at her. “Heck of a way to greet a friend, sugarcube.”
Twilight looked at me funny for a good long while. Somethin’ was eatin' her tail again. My heart to her for that. But this wasn't the best time to be startin' stuff—not when her former assistant was so close by.
“Is there a place we can speak?” Twilight asked. “I promise not to take up much of your time. There's just... a few things I'd like to get off my chest... if that's okay.”
“Plenty okay with me.” I nodded toward the barn. “But we'll be takin' our talkin’ in there. You understand, right?”
Twilight nodded and off we went.
Didn't take us long to get inside the barn. I'd already had a table set up, along with a lamp, which I got lit, sitting atop a bundle of hay. Above us, the barn window was open, letting in a trickle of moonlight.
“Alright, Twilight.” I sat down at the table, and Twilight quickly after me. “No games. You’re here ‘cause of Spike, ain’t ya?” I took my hat off and placed it on the table. “So what ya want with him?”
“I… want him to come home, his home, our home.” Twilight’s gaze dropped from my eyes. “I’m not mad at him anymore. What’s done is done. I just want him back home with me.”
“Sounds like somethin’ ya could have written in a letter.”
“I already tried that,” Twilight replied. “It didn't end well.”
I shook my head. “I doubt Spike would have torn a letter simply askin' to come home. What else did you write in it?”
Twilight kept staring at my eyes while I talked, almost like she was ignoring my words. “Can I ask you a favor, as a friend?”
“Of course you can,” I replied, a bit more sternly than I would have liked. “Just don't forget Spike is my friend too.”
“Then it's all the more important that you show him this.” With a flash of her magic, there was a paper on the desk, one she slid over for me to read. “This is an acceptance letter from a university up in Canterlot. The very first one that wants to take Spike on as their first dragon student.”
I blinked. “What now?”
Twilight smiled. “This is a very prestigious university. One I would have attended if it... well, weren't for Celestia taking me under her wing.” She swallowed, dabbing a hoof underneath her eye. “This opportunity came only once to Spike before, and he... well...”
I shook my head at that. “That's what that was all about? Spike goin' off to some university in Canterlot?”
“It would have been very good for him.” Twilight paused for a second as if she were considering her words. “Think about it! The first dragon to attend an Equestrian university! He's got the mind, talent, and status for it.” She then threw up her hooves. “He would literally be making history if he went!”
“And I take it makin’ history didn't interest him much?”
“He burnt all my books on the subject.” Twilight held out her forelegs in front of her. “Listen. I know it may be pushy of me to suggest that he go, but it's only because it's within his best interest! I have everything set up for him to prosper!”
“And you're a good friend for it, ya really are,” I replied. “But Twilight, surely you of all ponies know ya can't take his choice away? He's spent his whole life lettin' you do everythin' for him.” I paused to breathe. “Don't you reckon it should be up to him how he wants to the spend the rest of his life?”
“That choice won't help him!” Twilight exclaimed. “Think about everything he'll lose out on! Meeting new ponies, learning new things, become involved in the academic field. Whatever he wants to do after that is his call! He'll have infinite possibles, as opposed to...”
“Workin' on a farm?”
Twilight stopped, realizing what she was unintentionally implying.“I wasn't about to say that!”
“Twilight,” I replied. “You're too smart of a filly to try and lie to me.” I took a moment to breathe once more, lookin down between my hooves. “You ain't wrong to think that way. It's not like any of us Apples would do well in a city like Canterlot.”
“So you'll talk to him?”
“I'll suggest it.” I looked back at Twilight. “Because as able as he is for that opportunity, it will still, always be, his choice.” I nodded to the door of the barn. “You can leave now. I'll keep the paper for myself.”
I waited for a good deal longer than I should have.
I kept the paper in my dresser and kept thinkin' about it. Didn't want to. Would rather think about Spike if I'm being honest. Having him on the farm was always a call for nonsense. Work was always its own reward, but with him around, there was more fun to be had while we were at it.
And... I didn't want to admit it, much to myself, but I had taken a liking to him. He was tall, strong, and good lookin’. He worked hard and played harder. We'd still rough house when we could. He'd scratch behind my ear when there was no other eyes watchin.
I knew he liked me. Wanted to stroke my fur and mane whenever he got the chance. Whoa, nelly. What kind of mare had this dragon made me into? I couldn't be caught dead talkin' about some boy. And here I was fantasizing about one!
I wish there was an exact moment when I could say I fell for him. There wasn't anything special that happened. He was just a good friend that happened to become somthin' more. There was no great moment we had, or somethin' he said, or anything he did.
I just liked the dragon. That was all.
It killed me that was all, sometimes.
But that letter was what really drained me. Twilight was right. Spike had an intelligence and ability nurtured by that mare since he came out of his egg.
Gifts like that shouldn't be wasted on a farm.
But a farm was the only place where we could be together. I like the guy. Like him a whole lot. But a relationship as far from Canterlot wouldn't work out in the end, but it's a bad reason to withhold that letter from him.
Finally, I'd gather my courage, late one night, on the porch of the house.
“So that's why you should give it some thought. You already know it's the best bet for you. There's many things you could do there. Ain't many opportunities like that for ya here."
Spike didn't give me a fight at first. Trusted me too much for that. Instead, he sat silent, thinking. He was proper when it came to important stuff like this. I trusted him as much as he trusted me, except with my secret about him, of course.
“Hey, Applejack?” Spike said after some time. “Can I tell you why I love working on this farm?”
I blinked. “Er, sure?”
“When I wake up every morning, do you know what I wake up to?” I shook my head for him. “I wake up to my own room. One I had to work for, one that I have to pay for, one that is my own responsibility.” He sighed. “Somepony else didn't cover it for me. I had to work for myself to get that room.”
I nodded and continued to listen.
“And that carries over to work as well.” Spike let his head drop slightly. “All the other workers on the farm treat me like I’m just one of the guys. Come together, get the work done, then go home.” He chuckled, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Working on this farm makes me feel like my own dragon. Twilight didn't do the work for me, or having everything set for me—it was me that made it happened.”
He took a second to reflect, then chuckled. “Okay, others helped. But it was me who got through it all.”
“I think I get your point.” We were both sitting on rocking chairs. I stared over at his lap, where the letter sat. “But that letter, Spike? It ain't exactly cheatin'. You'll still have to work hard. Ya will have to make friends, learn things, and all that other junk Twilight was sprouting.”
Finally, when I was least ready, Spike looked over at me. His gaze was piercin' and my heart felt ready to pop. There was somethin' about him I could never understand—how his eyes could glow so bright but seem so sad. He was intense and calm all at the same time.
“What do you think I should do, Applejack?”
Do I tell him the truth? That he's wastin' his time on this farm with fancy talks of being his own dragon?
“I never had much involvement with school myself,” I replied, and my voice felt weak. “Wish I did, though. This farm? It's my life. I love it and everypony on it—dragons included.” I shook my head, feeling my mane on my back, free and straight with no band. “But I was meant to take to this kind of life. I sure as heck want slightly better of Applebloom when she goes to college herself.”
Spike turned that gaze down onto his claws, which he clasped together. “Can you... please, just, give me a good reason to stay on the farm?” His shoulders slumped forward. “Because I don't have many left.”
I should have told him right then and there.I should have told him how much he made my heart race, how his sharp muzzle and glowing green eyes imprinted themselves in my brain at night.
More than that, I should have told him know just how much he was giving me back. Being around him allowed me to be weak, vulnerable, and giddy. Something that I never thought I’d be able to be without remorse before. Nothing made my body more weightless than being in his hold. One time, I even pretended to be asleep out in the field, just so he could scoop me up in an arm and carry me home.
I was a good mare for him. I knew it too, one worth him not goin' to school for.
Which was why he was never meant to know.
“The workers and I would miss you something fierce,” I said to him. “But we would understand all the same.”
I should have been grateful Spike chose to stick around till the end of the season, but I wasn't.
It only hurt more. Spending time with him was still a joy. Silly jokes, makin' faces, creatin' silly voices. But it wasn't the same. In all the joy we had, it hurt knowin' that it was soon comin' to an end—like every moment we had was tinted with a touch of depression..
I tried not to get so close to him after he agreed to try schoolin', but that didn't work. Only made me miss him more.
Didn't make sense to spend time away from each other. We were goin' to be doin' plenty of that in the future. So stock up now. Have enough memories to tide you by until somethin' or someone else grabs your eye.
But there wasn't much hope in that. Anypony else could have my eye, but a certain dragon had already stolen my heart.
Winter came, and when it did, it was time for us to say goodbye. Best time for it seemed to be at a party Pinkie was throwing for the season. Almost everypony was at the bar that had recently opened up. Most of us were drunk, myself included.
“I... bet, hehe, you've never kissed a girl before.”
Spike stared back at me again—darn eyes glowin' again. He glared before taking his shot.
“Ha!” I laughed. “Virgin.”
“Oh yeah?” Spike was sitting on the opposite side of the table, both of us seated next to a wall, the party happening around us. “I bet that, uh, what was... oh! I bet that you're a virgin too!”
“Why you!” I shook my muzzle, feeling the world sway alongside it. “Askin' a mare such an indecent question. Shame on you!” There was no fightin' the blush on my muzzle. I took the shot all the same, kinda glad that a nice guy like him knew that about me. “Aaaah! Hoo. Gonna need a refill soon.”
Spike smiled as he leaned forward, taking the brown bottle and refilling our shots, some liquid pouring over onto the table. I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying being with him. He really did make me feel like a filly. No havin' to sweat about work of appearances—we could trust ourselves with each other.
At least, for a bit longer.
“You know,” he began, collapsing into his chair, “I'm going to miss you, AJ. Like... a lot.”
“You know I'm gonna miss you just as much.” I leaned forward the best I could, placing a hoof on his wrist. “Ya really are my best friend. You were a good present this year.”
Spike chuckled at me, glancing upward. I glanced as well, seeing the red hat he had on, before a smirk sweat across his lips. He took the hat off his head and, bringing it over mine, tucked my ears into it.
“And you were my present, Applejack.” I must have looked silly because he was looking at me like I was. “You are... everything I could ever want in a mare. Just a good thing nothing ever happened between us, y'know?
I was in the process of takin' another shot when I heard him say that. Then it happened. I wasn't sure what, why, or how, but somethin' deep within me, something long unexpressed broke loose. 'Cause I lost my heart. 'Cause I was losin' him. 'Cause I wasn't truly worth Spike staying behind for..
So I cried. Must have blown the ceiling off with how loud I cried. Spike must have come to my side or somethin', playin' the fool, wonderin' what was wrong. I recall yelling in his face some, then slappin' him with a hoof, then runnin' out before anyone could think to give me chase.
And I ran.
Ran for the woods as the snow crunched underneath my hooves. Didn't care for the cold or how dark it was—just wanted to get away from it all. Away from him. Found myself into a patch of trees not long after. All that runnin' only made the booze in my stomach all the worse. I collapsed at the start of a tree, curling into myself, cursing myself.
And I was lost. I was far more lost than Spike when I found him. I laid against that tree and hoped for the best.
What I was not expectin', while shivering, breaking slowly, hating myself, was to be picked up by something. I let my head roll about on the arm, feeling my mane freeze along my skin, when I looked up and saw Spike's stupid face lookin' down at me.
“What's the matter with you!” He was yelling at me. From the looks of it, he was crying too. “Running out here all by yourself. Are you trying to get yourself hurt?”
“Couldn't do a worse of a job than you already did.”
Spike shook his head at that. “Stay close to my chest. It should warm you up enough.”
He started up like he was about to blow a flame, but instead, nothing happened, and I could feel a surge of heat coming from his very body. I snuggled against it at once, not realizing how much I'd been shivering.
Spike started walking after that. Didn't say much as he held me close. I could tell he was mad at me, more than anytime before, but that didn't stop him from caring for me. Tears welled at my eyes again, the stupid things. It was only because he was so stupid—caring so much for a gal like me only to run off.
“Applejack?” Spike said. Everything was dark because my eyes were closed. “Are you able to talk for a second?”
“I... can do a lot longer than that for you, sugarcube.”
I hear him chuckle. “Well, if that's the case, then... why did you run out on all of us like that?”
“You... already know the reason for that, Sugarcube.”
“It's because you like me?”
“Just don't let Spike know that.”
I heard him chuckle again. “I'll be sure to let him known. At the same time, please make sure Applejack doesn't know he feels the same about her.”
“I reckon she figured that out a long time ago.” Now it was my turn to giggle; it sounded more like a sob anyhow. “Reckon she also figured she'd be holdin' you back.”
“Now how do you reckon that?”
“Because the farm ain't a university,” I replied, doing my best to hide my face in his chest, all so I didn't have to face his gaze. “Not many things left for me to teach ya. You'd just be wasting away, Spike.”
“I'd be with you,” Spike said back. “There's a lot of things you could teach me about a relationship that I couldn't get out of school.”
“I'm sure there's a nice mare in Canterlot you could meet and do the fancy with.”
“True, but she wouldn't be you.” Spike stood walking for a second, and this time, he brought his claw down and against my cheek, giving me to choice but to face up at him. I must have looked like a stupid drunken filly layin' in his arms like I was. “And you're right. Dating you... would mean staying on your farm for a very long time.”
“Better be for a long time.”
“And I would have planned for that,” he replied. “But I wouldn't be losing out all that much, you know? I could still read books and help Twilight with her studies.”
I shook my head. “But you would still be livin' in Twilight's will. That's the whole thing that started this whole mess.”
“And I wouldn't mind, because I chose to be with you, and that was my will.” Spike lowered his muzzle to my own, until we were inches apart. His warm exhale brushed the fur on my cheek. “Applejack, this whole time, you said the most important thing of all was that I got to make my choices.”
He brought his claw back to my face, brushing the mane out from my eye, all so we could lock eyes together. “And my choice is to stay with you.”
There's many times in my life where I wish I wasn't drunk, but this took the cake. Spike closed his eyes and pushed his muzzle forward, and at once, I felt his lips press against mine. They were firm and flexible, and I brushed mine over them, not believing how much my heart was beating.
Life picked up speed once the winter party was over.
Spike ended up stayin' in Ponyville. Twilight wasn't too happy about that at first, but when he decided to move back home with her, she soon forgot about the term, 'university.' She was just happy to have her assistant back—maybe almost as much as I was to have a drakefriend.
He didn't work on the farm as much as he used too, but we still found ways to make time for each other. Sometimes, I'd sneak him inside when Mac was asleep to make-out. More than a few times, Spike had to dash out the front door, all to keep his life from Big Mac..
But life got better after that. Didn't realize how much I needed somepony special until they took a weight off me. Being with him, being held by him, being myself around him... well, it made all the other parts of my life more enjoyable.
For once, I can now express myself better, be vulnerable.
And when it came to our first time, well, hehe...
You should have been there.
