Elixir Master

by Pen Stroke

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Discord, Slice of Life, Zecora, Twilight Sparkle, Meadowbrook, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 38572

After bitter words are said, Zecora and Mage Meadowbrook engage in a grand duel. In the spirit of arena culinary combat, it's time for Elixir Master!

When Fluttershy introduced Mage Meadowbrook to Zecora, it was with the hope of fostering friendship. Yet, an unfortunate mishap and bitter words have led to something far different. There will be a duel, and Discord is more than happy to turn such a rare occurrence into the spectacle it deserves to be. Can Fluttershy, Twilight, and Pinkie help mend the budding friendship between Zecora and Meadowbrook? And what about Discord? Does he wish to fuel the flames of rivalry, or does he have a larger plan in store?

In the spirit of arena culinary combat, it’s time for Elixir Master!

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By
RyuRedwings

Published 2018-12-06 00:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-17 22:57:58 UTC

Too Many Cooks

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

The creatures of the Everfree Forest stirred, piercing yellow eyes glowing like beacons in the night. Something was approaching. They could hear the rustling of branches and could smell the tender, delicious aroma of pony flesh. In times past, a pony wandering into the forest was like a feast. Yes, some surely got away, but others that were not as quick of hoof or wit found themselves part of the forest food chain.

But the hunters of the forest did not leap to action as they did in the past. No, they did not rush to the hunt because there was one they feared. They had to lay low and wait for the prey to draw closer, and soon, they began to hear their possible prey. Two voices began to gently echo amongst the trees, and one of the voices left the hunters of the Everfree Forest whimpering. There would be no hunting ponies today, for she was among them. She was the one to care for all creatures. She was a mother figure to all of the forest, both as a caregiver but also one to scold and guilt the hunters. None wished to cross the yellow one.

Fluttershy pushed back a branch, not even noticing the yellow glowing eyes of the forest hunters disappearing. She then looked over her shoulder, allowing the pony she was traveling with to step through the opening in the undergrowth. “I am sorry this is taking so long. I promise that it normally doesn’t take this long to get to Zecora’s.”

“Oh, don’t you worry a single feather, Fluttershy. I’m the one that’s making us late, but this forest is amazing. It’s like a whole town market stocked with potion ingredients.” The other pony with Fluttershy was a living legend in perhaps the most literal sense. Mage Meadowbrook, famed healer and potion maker of Equestrian lore, was all smiles and excitement. “Finding this much poison joke has got me bubbling like an eager cauldron. It can be a tough ingredient to wrangle, but it can add a magical kick to just about any potion. This Zecora sure picked a great place to make her home.”

Fluttershy giggled, getting past the branch she bent back for Meadowbrook. The pair then continued walking through the forest shoulder to shoulder. “Well, I certainly think you two will be able to hit it off.”

“Oh I hope so,” Meadowbrook said. “I mean, that hospital Twilight showed me was fancy, to be sure. But this ‘modern medicine’ just ain’t the same as good, proper potion making. I mean, ponies being laid up for days with broken bones. Going to a dentist who’s going to drill into the teeth to fix them. I mean, I see the good it’s done. Equestria is healthier than ever, and I reckon that’s because of all the regular practices that your modern medicine has created. I just wish good potion making hadn’t become such a rare skill.”

“Well, I’m sure that’s something you can change if you really want to. I bet there would be lots of ponies wanting to learn from the legendary Mage Meadowbrook.”

Meadowbrook chuckled and waved a hoof. “Oh, don’t go buttering me up like a cut of bread before breakfast. Still, are we getting close?”

Fluttershy nodded, pausing a moment to lift a hoof and point through a thicket of foliage. There, between the trees, the two ponies were able to catch a glimpse of the numerous, brightly colored jars that hung from the branches of the tree that Zecora had made her home.

“Is this a delightful surprise my eyes do see? Fluttershy, so nice of you to come visit me.”

Fluttershy grinned, doing her best to contain her excitement and mind her manners. “I’m sorry if we’re interrupting anything,” she said as she and Meadowbrook walked in through the front door.

Zecora chuckled as she closed the door behind them. “Well, I can’t deny that I am at work. But to turn you away, I am no such jerk.” She then turned and moved back to her cauldron, which gently bubbled and stewed over a small, smokeless fire. She lifted a small wooden bowl, taking a pinch of the powder inside and gently sprinkling it over the concoction within. The brew shifted in tint from a swampy green to a light rose pink, and the whole room began to smell like flowers.

“Why, is that potion base you’re making?” Meadowbrook moved up beside the cauldron, taking a few sniffs. “And tie me up like a bundle of cattails, this looks like almost the exact same recipe my mother taught me. I’d even bet that thing you just added was powdered sapphire leaf.”

Zecora blinked a few times, then smiled and nodded her head. “Your eyes and knowledge are entirely correct. I speak to a fellow potion maker, I do suspect.”

Fluttershy moved up beside the cauldron as well. “That’s right. Zecora, let me introduce you to Mage Meadowbrook, one of Equestria’s most famous healers and potion makers. She’s the one that figured out the cure for Swamp Fever. Meadowbrook, this is my friend, Zecora.”

Meadowbrook moved around the cauldron to offer a hoof to Zecora. “It is a true pleasure, Miss Zecora, to meet a fellow potion maker.”

“The pleasure is mine, this I assure, for I’d have become a tree if not for your cure.”

Fluttershy grinned ear to ear and struggled to keep herself from prancing in place. Her highest hopes were working out. Zecora and Meadowbrook were hitting it off, and they hadn’t even spoken a dozen sentences to one another. She was helping sow the seeds of a new friendship, and her heart felt like it was filled with delightful, fluttering butterflies. She felt—

A gentle chiming drew Fluttershy out of her jubilation and made her look to Zecora’s wall clock. It was well into the afternoon. “Oh my. Uh, Zecora, Meadowbrook, can you excuse me for a moment?”

The two potion makers glanced over in Fluttershy’s direction. “What’s the matter, Fluttershy?” Meadowbrook asked.

“Sorry, I just need to make a quick trip back to my cottage. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late, and it’s almost time for my weekly tea with Discord.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Fluttershy. All my detours to collect potion ingredients on our way here ate up time like a frog eating up swamp flies.”

Fluttershy gently waved her hoof reassuringly at Meadowbrook. “Oh, don’t be sorry, it was a lot of fun. Still, I promise I’ll be right back.”

“I have plenty of room and my favorite tea. If it helps, please, bring Discord back to my tree,” Zecora offered as she grabbed a large wooden spoon and began stirring the contents of her cauldron.

“A tea party with all four of us. Oh, that does sound wonderful. Thank you, Zecora. I’ll be right back with Discord.” With that Fluttershy went to the door, slipping outside before taking off and flying above the treetops. As she flew, Fluttershy couldn’t contain her excitement and performed a lazy barrel roll. A little time alone would let those two get to know one another even better, and she had been hoping to invite Meadowbrook to tea as well. Ever since the incident at the last Gala, she had been trying to help Discord expand his circle of friends. He had her, of course, and he had the Smooze as well. Then there was Spike and Big Mac, his Ogres and Oubliettes buddies.

Still, Fluttershy felt like Discord didn’t really have anyone to talk to about magic. His magic was just so different from unicorn magic. But Mage Meadowbrook and Zecora dealt with the magic of potions. Maybe that would be enough common ground. That and Discord could probably help them whip up all sorts of very rare potions.

And even if they didn’t hit it off, that was okay. It would still be a lovely tea party, she just knew it.

“Well, I will say I was impressed that zebra friend of yours had a potion that let Twilight look backward in time. I have always been meaning to ask where she got that.” Discord had shrunken himself down and was sitting in a little seat that he had snapped into existence on the top of Fluttershy’s head. Discord himself was in what looked like an old-style Wonderbolt’s uniform. He had also snapped into existence a bunch of weird controls and knobs around him, including a wheel like Fluttershy had seen on fancy airships. Yet, he was just sitting back, not touching anything while Fluttershy flew.

“And I’m sure Mage Meadowbrook will be fascinated when she gets a chance to meet you,” Fluttershy said.

“But of course. Everyone is fascinated when they meet me,” Discord said with a chuckle. “Though I do hope Zecora has something interesting in her tea collection. I’d expect an herbalist who lives in the middle of this wonderfully chaotic forest to at least—”

Discord was cut off as a loud explosion shook the air. Birds took off from all across the Everfree Forest, and a plume of smoke rose in the distance. Fluttershy felt a bit of panic grip at her chest. “Oh no! That’s close to Zecora’s hut!”

Sitting up in his little seat, Discord took hold of the little control wheel. The moment he did, Fluttershy felt her wings suddenly shift in position. That and a pair of large metal cylinders appeared on her back, where she would normally wear a pair of saddlebags. “Everfree Tower this is F7UTER5, requesting expedited landing.”

Though it sounded distorted, as if it was coming out of a record player, Fluttershy suddenly heard Discord answer himself. Most likely, Discord had created a copy of himself he was now talking to. “F7UTER5, this is Everfree Tower, we’ll prepare the runway. You are clear for landing.”

Below Fluttershy, she saw numerous trees in the Everfree Forest suddenly shift. They began to stand up and move, quickly clearing a long narrow flat track of land. She then saw what looked like a few copies of Discord start rolling out a long, black rug with yellow and white lines painted on it. On top of all that, she felt the strange metal cylinders on her back starting to push her forward. It reminded her of the times Rainbow Dash would grab and pull her along when she was flying too slow. Were they little engines?

Fluttershy didn’t get a chance to really think much on that more as she suddenly felt her wings pitch her down. Her body was flying itself, or rather, she bet Discord was flying her body from his little steering wheel on her head. Perhaps it would be faster if he just teleported them there, but… she couldn’t deny they were racing towards Zecora's hut faster than she had been. So… she went with it.

Soon, she was gently trimming the tops of the trees before reaching the edge of the long, black stone road that Discord had laid out in the forest. “Wheels down.” Fluttershy heard Discord say before feeling a pop of his magic around her hooves. She glanced down and saw she was now wearing roller skates. Roller skates that soon made contact with the long black road, letting her roll along smoothly.

A few moments after touching down, Fluttershy felt the weird metal cylinders on her back starting to push the other way, slowing her down from her quick descent and landing. The forest began closing up behind her, like a zipper pulling itself shut. Eventually, it all came together as she came to a perfect stop outside Zecora’s hut, and Fluttershy saw the explosion just wasn’t close to Zecora’s hut. It had happened inside Zecora’s hut. The smoke was leaking from the top of her tree, and all of her windows had been blown out.

With a snap of his claw, Discord undid everything he had done and returned to his regular size. This let him and Fluttershy rush towards the door. Fluttershy got in first, with Discord poking his head through the door. “Zecora! Meadowbrook! Are you okay!?” Fluttershy called as she coughed, choking a little on some of the lingering smoke.

“Just a moment, Fluttershy. I can’t imagine breathing this smoke can be healthy for you.” Fluttershy felt a healer’s mask appear over her face, not unlike the one Mage Meadowbrook always wore. Though, looking down the snout of the mask, Fluttershy could tell that this particular healer’s mask looked exactly like Discord’s face.

After that, Discord made the same strange device he summoned at the Grand Galloping Gala appear. It whirred to life, and using the attached tube, he began sucking up the smoke from inside the hut. As he did that, Fluttershy moved further into the hut. She passed the cauldron, which smelt like a badly burnt meal. She had never known Zecora to make a mistake while making a potion. “Zecora? Meadowbrook? Oh, please tell me you’re okay.”

A cough made Fluttershy quickly turn to one side, and she smiled beneath her mask as she caught sight of the two potion makers laying against the far wall of the hut. She quickly rushed over. “Oh, are you two hurt?”

Meadowbrook was the first to sit up, holding her head and coughing. “No… no Fluttershy, I’m okay. Though certainly not for lack of trying.” Her voice lost its usual gentle tone, and she growled as she looked at Zecora. “I told ya adding that was wrong!”

Zecora now sat up as well, waving a hoof in front of her face to try and clear away some of the lingering haze. “You are trying to blame me? Do you have the mind of a flea? This was caused by your own act. Don’t try to twist the tale, I speak only fact.”

“Fact!? Even adding a pinch of that red juniper to that potion base would have been disastrous! You would have turned us to living goo!”

“Living goo, that is untrue. I know how to prepare my ingredients. I know how to work my reagents. And the whole bowl falling in was your doing. Your actions have left me fuming. I know my way around such a simple brew. But your behavior, I have to wonder what is wrong with you!”

“Now now, I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding,” Fluttershy said as she tried to calm the quickly escalating argument. She was baffled how things could turn sour in such a short time, but she’d try to calm everyone down. Thankfully, the air was getting clear because of Discord’s efforts, and now a few copies of himself were beginning to repair the damage.

Meadowbrook stood up, dusting herself off a bit. “You never use red juniper in a potion base like this. Though, I suppose someone that could mess up a simple language potion can make that kind of basic mistake.”

Fluttershy saw Zecora’s jaw drop, her expression caught between looking shocked and infuriated. Fluttershy looked to Meadowbrook and just couldn’t help herself. “What do you mean by that?” she asked, curious how such a simple sounding accusation could leave Zecora speechless.

“Oh, you think she does this rhyming thing by choice… or that it’s the way of her homeland. Well, that’s a load of rotting swamp wood. One of the first brews my mama taught me was the Language Learner potion. After all, a healer has to be able to understand her patient. A few ingredients, and some sample of the language you're trying to learn, and the potion can let you be as fluent as a flying falcon at just about any tongue. The ‘sample of a language’ a potion needs could be as simple as letting two native speakers talk around the potion for a while. But if you really want to know everything about a language, the best thing you can do is toss in a couple of books. If you get one on the grammar and a dictionary together, then you can make yourself a fine Language Learner potion.”

“Okay, so what does that have to do with Zecora?” Fluttershy asked.

Meadowbrook huffed. “‘Cause any potion maker worth her salt knows, for that potion, you need a regular dictionary. If you use some other kind of dictionary, like for example a rhyming dictionary.” She gestured to Zecora, who was gritting her teeth but blushing at the same time. Fluttershy couldn’t help but bring a hoof to the mouth of her Discord Healer’s mask. The mask itself had morphed into an expression of shock.

“Zecora, why didn’t you ever…”

“Such a mistake of my past has no bearing on the present, except perhaps causing me to look at you with discontent. These insults I shall no longer tolerate. A duel’s challenge I lay, just name the date.”

“What!? A duel? Now, Zecora, Meadowbrook, surely there is a better way for you to—” Suddenly, Fluttershy found her words weren’t able to escape from her mask. She lifted a hoof to it and could feel that the mask’s lips had zipped themselves shut. At the same time, she felt a claw on her shoulder. Discord bent down beside her, a bit of a devilish grin on his lips.

“Wait, Fluttershy,” he whispered. “Let’s let this play out.”

Discord then slithered through the air away from her, raising his voice to normal tone to get Zecora and Meadowbrook's attention. “Oh, a potion duel. It’s been ages since I’ve seen a good one… mostly because I’ve never seen one. That makes this all the more exciting! If you two wouldn’t mind, I’d love to lend my phenomenal, chaotic-power to make your duel something truly spectacular.”

Discord quickly slipped up by Meadowbrook, holding her shoulder with a paw. “Surely Equestria needs to know which potion maker's brews are best. Whose potion packs the most powerful punch.”

A second copy of Discord appeared next to Zecora, holding her shoulder in a similar fashion. “Which elixir is essentially excellent. Whose tonic is tops.”

“What do you say, mares?” the two Discord clones said in unison. “Let’s make sure there isn’t any doubt who’s the best potion maker after this.”

Zecora and Meadowbrook glared at one another a few seconds, but then firmly nodded their heads. Discord smiled, chuckling to himself as he snapped a paw, his two clones becoming the one and only Discord. “Tomorrow, noon, in Ponyville. I’ll handle all the preparations. And we’ll be sure to have a few witnesses. Yes, just a few… dozen… hundred… thousand. Oh yes, for such a once in a lifetime rumble of remedies, there must be an audience, judges, and a snappily dressed announcer.

“Oh, this will be such fun!” Discord said before snapping his paw and vanishing from the hut.

Author's Note

It's been a while since I've published something, so I hope everyone finds this story worth the wait! The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

Round 1

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

“Okay, I have my errands to run in town. That should take me until lunch. After that a few princess duties for a few hours, and then just me, a good book, and my fiction-reading chair,” Twilight said as she reviewed her checklist near the front door of the castle. She had a carefully organized morning, with the first item on the list being to review the day’s schedule. Still, she had to glance back towards the center of her castle as there was one thing on her checklist that was already unaccounted for.

“Spike!” Twilight called. She listened, ears swiveling to try and hear his voice over the echoes of her own. She hadn’t been able to find Spike all morning, which had her a little worried. He usually let her know if he had morning plans, but on the other hoof, this wouldn’t be the first time he rushed off because Rarity needed his help at the last moment.

Crinkling her nose, Twilight scratched out the second item on her checklist, “Find Spike,” and replaced it with “Check in at Carousel Boutique for Spike.” If nothing else, it was on the way to her first stop of the morning, so the detour wouldn’t disrupt her plans too much. That and she added one more thing to the list she had noticed that morning. “Check on map table.”

In brief passing, Twilight was sure she had seen the map table glowing. Still, when she gave it a second look, everything seemed normal. She’d give it a proper check later. For now, she didn’t want to dawdle any longer.

Twilight turned her head to open the door, taking a single step forward to better position her body, only to feel her hoof step down on something unfamiliar. She quickly lifted it back up, seeing a flyer resting on the floor. Actually, several copies of the same advertisement had been slipped under her door, looking like a printing press had thrown up a dozen flyers to form an undesired welcome mat.

Picking up the flyers, Twilight levitated them into a neat, single pile and then looked at the one on the top. She frowned as she read over the advertisement. Zecora and Mage Meadowbrook were pictured on the flyer, facing each other and scowling. Bright splashes of green and red surrounded them respectively, and at the bottom of the ad was a cauldron overflowing with a bubbling brew. At the top was clear, bright, and bold lettering.

“ChaosCo presents a once-in-an-era contest. One day only at the Coliseum of Ponyville. Come and see who shall be crowned ‘The Elixir Master,’” Twilight read, her brows furrowing as she began to comprehend the situation. Discord was causing trouble, and worse, he was ruining her perfectly scheduled day! Still, maybe she could get out ahead of this if she hurried. Twilight nodded to herself, spreading her wings and magically opening the front doors of her castle.

But, before she could take off, she stopped dead in her tracks to process what she was seeing.

While most of Ponyville was untouched, it seemed every shop, business, and public building had been plucked from the ground and stacked on top of one another to form a single structure: a coliseum. Like a mismatched quilt, the buildings had been fused together to form the walls, the ticket booth, and every other aspect of the structure. From where Twilight stood she could see Sugarcube Corner and Carousel Boutique. Even the tents and stalls that made up Ponyville’s Farmers' Market had not been spared, as she could see them lining the top of the coliseum walls like the pointy tips of a crown.

“Discord,” Twilight growled under her breath as she took off and began flying towards the “new” Ponyville Coliseum.

After getting a ticket for whistling a happy tune, Twilight marched through the interior of the coliseum, which in truth felt more like one of those large malls Sunset Shimmer had shown her in the human world. Every business that had been uprooted to help build the coliseum’s outer structure was accessible from the interior hallways. In fact, the ponies of Ponyville seemed to be taking most of it in stride, going about their daily routines and perhaps even enjoying the convenience of everything being so close together.

“Cider! Can’t watch the contest without delicious Cider! We got Apple Cinnamon Rolls and Apple Fritters too!”

Twilight’s ears perked, and she quickly trotted ahead, following the gentle bend of the hallway until she saw an apple-themed concession stand. Applejack was right at the counter, happily giving out brown paper bags filled with delicious apple treats to a waiting line of ponies, and she wasn’t alone. Rainbow Dash was in her booth as well, helping the second line of customers with her impressive speed.

“Please tell me you two aren’t under Discord’s mind control or something,” Twilight said as she approached the booth.

“Oh, there you are, Twilight. We were wondering when you’d stick your head out of your castle and see what was happening.” Applejack bagged an order for a pony at the front of her line. “And nope, no mind control here… at least, not anything I’ve noticed.”

Twilight frowned. “I don’t think you’re lying, but if you were lying, that would probably be what you’d say.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled as she took the bits from a customer. “She’s got you there, Applejack.”

“I suppose she does, but I honestly don’t think Discord did anything to us… at least not directly. He did turn my apple cart into this here concession stand in the middle of the night, but with how good business has been this morning, I haven’t had time to be grumpy about it.” There was a poof of magic behind AJ, and she saw a bag of bits. It was accompanied by a piece of paper and a blue, star-speckled mug. “Though these dang VIP delivery orders are sure getting on my nerves.”

“Can one of you at least tell me what’s going on?” Twilight whined as she took out the stack of flyers she had brought with her from her castle. “Did something really happen between Mage Meadowbrook and Zecora?”

“Fluttershy knows what happened. We’ve only heard a bit about it in passing.” Rainbow Dash paused from helping customers for a moment to lean over the counter and point at a small door that was down the hallway. The door itself looked like an entrance to some dark and mysterious crypt, complete with an up-right standing crocodile door guard. “Fluttershy said you should be on the list to get backstage.”

“That’s kind of why I’m just rolling with the bucks this time. If Fluttershy isn’t worried, then I can guess Discord plans to fix all this sooner rather than later. But, if y’all need us to use the Elements of Harmony, just come find us here,” Applejack said as she finished with another customer. “Though I wouldn’t mind if ya waited until after this morning rush.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I can’t make any promises. Just try to be ready. Though… do both of you really need to be working one concession stand?”

“Discord’s put up a prize for the businesses that are willing to sell foods that ponies can eat while they’re watching the contest,” Applejack explained, her eyes focusing to the other side of the hallway where some of the other local farmers had concession stands as well. “Sweet Apple Acres ain’t about to lose out on that prize.”

“And I get a barrel of cider for helping,” Rainbow said as she waved the next customer in her line to come forward. “An entire barrel, double if Sweet Apple Acres ends up winning! Sorry, but until we’re ready to rainbow blast something, I’m staying right here and selling apples.”

Twilight ran her hoof down the front of her muzzle, groaning a little and shaking her head as she turned away from the Sweet Apple Acres concession stand. Applejack did have a point. If Fluttershy wasn’t worried or nervous about what Discord was doing, that probably meant this was largely harmless.

It was, however, still chaos and was still totally throwing off her day, which meant Discord still was overdue for a strongly worded complaint from her.

“After that, I spent the whole afternoon trying to get them to reconsider, but I couldn’t convince them to call it off.”

Twilight nodded her head as she and Fluttershy walked around the bowels of the coliseum, which mostly looked like the back alleys of Ponyville all pieced together into a circular shape. Everything she had just heard tumbled about in her head, leaving Twilight with a mix of emotions about the situation.

“Okay, that explains almost everything… except why you’re dressed like that,” Twilight said, gesturing to Fluttershy’s sparkly green dress.

“I was hoping that during the contest I could try talking to Zecora and Meadowbrook, but the only way I could do that was by agreeing to be part of the show. Discord is the master of ceremonies. Pinkie Pie and I are going to be his assistants.”

“Discord roped Pinkie Pie into this?”

Fluttershy nodded as the pair kept walking, following signs that pointed towards the center stage of the coliseum. “From what Pinkie Pie told me, he recruited her last night. While he was building the coliseum, she was putting up advertisements and filling out forms for permits. That and helping him brainstorm ideas for the contest itself.”

“Discord got the permits?” Twilight balked. “What kind of permit lets him turn Ponyville into a coliseum!?”

“It was an RCPP-CL permit. Discord and Pinkie Pie said it so many times this morning, I doubt I’ll forget that permit’s name for weeks.”

Twilight’s encyclopedia memory shuffled, and she frowned as she shook her head. “No, that can’t be right. An RCPP-CL is a Royal Colossal Pony Party permit signed by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. That’s the kind of permit I had to get for the Festival of Friendship. Why in the world would Princess Celestia and Princess Luna give Discord and Pinkie that kind of permit?”

Fluttershy could only shrug as the pair of them reached the doors that led out onto the stage. “I don’t know, but you might be able to ask them yourself.”

“Ask them myself,” Twilight parroted. “Wait… Are you saying they’re here?!”

“Yes, Princess Celestia is one of the judges,” Fluttershy answered as the pair pushed through the doors and stepped onto the stage. The coliseum was open air, the bright, beautiful blue sky shining down and filling the stadium with light as ponies crowded into their seats. The coliseum was classically constructed, at least in its basic shape. The audience seating —the entire building— formed a thick ring, not unlike a donut. In the center of the donut, where the hole would normally be, was the polished, circular wooden stage where the contest would surely occur.

Twilight quickly began to orient herself, looking up at the ceiling and seeing the relative position of the sun. She and Fluttershy had stepped onto the stage from a pair of doors on the south side of the coliseum. Directly across the stage from them, on the north side, she could see what looked like the judges' section. It was a part of the stage raised about a foot higher than the rest. On that raised section she could see three cushions lined up in a row, two of which were occupied. The center cushion was occupied by Princess Celestia. The one to the right of that, from Twilight’s perspective, was occupied by Starswirl the Bearded.

The rest of the stage was dominated by two large potion labs, which were situated on the east and west sides of the circular stage. The two labs were exactly the same in their configuration. They each featured a cauldron, plenty of counter space, and just about every tool one could think of using when making potions. The only notable differences between the two labs were the primary color and the occupant. The lab on the west side of the stage had red accents and was occupied by Mage Meadowbrook. The opposite lab was green toned, and Zecora sat in the center, balancing on a bamboo pole in preparatory meditation.

“Uh oh, the fun police have arrived. You can’t touch me, copper. I plead the forty-second.” Discord snapped into existence in front of the two mares, smiling as he dusted some chaotic sparkles off his outfit: a truly ostentatious outfit that seemed befitting of a circus ringmaster. “Though I am so glad you could join us this morning, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“How did you get Princess Celestia and Starswirl the Bearded to agree to this?” Twilight’s carefully thought out lecture was blown from her mind by the sight of her mentor and her idol sitting on the stage as willing participants.

“Well, not to reveal my secrets, but Starswirl saw it as an opportunity to see how potion making has advanced since his time,” Discord answered, making a sock puppet appear on his paw that looked like Starswirl.

Somehow the sock puppet managed to stroke its beard and nod its head while speaking in an approximation of Starswirl’s voice, pitched up by an octave. “While I do not approve of one of my colleagues being goaded into such a meaningless contest, I can’t say I am not intrigued.”

“And Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked.

Discord chuckled, putting the sock puppet behind his back for a moment before bringing it back out. The puppet had changed appearance to match Celestia, and gave a little giggle of its own. “Though some of my work in Canterlot will have to be rescheduled, I suppose I might as well participate if I happened to be pleasantly foalnapped.”

“Did she really say ‘pleasantly foalnapped?’”

Discord shrugged as he removed the sock and tossed it over his shoulder, where it sprouted wings and flew off to become a souvenir for some lucky fan. “I might be paraphrasing a touch, but the spirit of the message is there. Still, I can’t float her playing twenty questions with you. I do have a show to put on.”

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but Discord snapped his claw and was gone, leaving her to scowl. “He’s really going all out this time.”

Fluttershy forced a smile. “Yeah, but… at least ponies seem to mostly be enjoying it.” The smile fell from Fluttershy’s face as she looked out across the stage. “I’m just worried all this spectacle will make things worse between Zecora and Meadowbrook.”

“It does seem a bit much, but they’re both fairly level-headed mares,” Twilight said. “I’m sure a little competition won’t make things that bad between them. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are competing all the time.”

“Yes, that is true,” Fluttershy admitted, “but this isn’t a friendly competition. This is more like when Applejack challenged Rainbow Dash to race in the Running of the Leaves after she felt she had been cheated during their Iron Pony contest. Yes, things worked out, but I think that’s because those two were friends even before you came to Ponyville. But Zecora and Meadowbrook only just met yesterday. All this reminds me more of what it was like when we first met Trixie.”

“You can’t seriously think things will get so bad that Meadowbrook or Zecora will try and come back and conquer Ponyville using an ancient evil amulet.”

“No, but even after all this time, even after Trixie became Starlight’s friend, I wouldn’t say you and Trixie were friends. And maybe you’ll be able to be friends in the future, but—”

“It’s not as bad as all that,” Twilight said, trying to wave Fluttershy’s concern off.

A new voice entered into the conversation from behind Twilight. “Really, well then, maybe the three of us should have a sleepover, or maybe Trixie can move into the castle with us. After all, whenever she’s in Ponyville, she parks her cart in your backyard. We’re practically roommates already.”

Twilight winced and turned around to see Starlight and Trixie walking up behind them. She blushed a little for being caught trying to downplay the volatile relationship she had with Trixie, but tried not to linger on it or the idea of Trixie moving in. “You two got roped into this, too?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is here to provide entertaining judge banter.”

Twilight’s wings flared and she pointed a hoof at Trixie. “You’re a judge?!”

“No, Discord asked me to help judge,” Starlight said. “Trixie just happened to overhear and managed to talk him into letting her sit with us and provide color commentary.”

“That, and when Trixie heard Starswirl The Bearded was going to also be a judge, she just had to take the opportunity to meet him,” Trixie said with a flare of her cap. “Maybe Trixie will even convince him to take Trixie on as a student. With his lessons, Trixie would surely become a unicorn to rival even you, Twilight Sparkle. After all, we already both share a fondness for hats and capes.”

“If Starswirl doesn’t turn you into a lump of cheese by the end of the day, I’ll be surprised,” Twilight snipped.

“Girls, please,” Fluttershy interjected before focusing back on Twilight. “This is exactly what I’m worried will happen with Zecora and Meadowbrook, that instead of being friends they’ll turn into bitter rivals. I saw how they got along before the accident with the potion. They were already becoming fast friends. I just want to help them get over this disagreement.”

Twilight sighed. “You’re right, Fluttershy. Helping Zecora and Meadowbrook make amends is the most important thing, and I’ll do anything I can to help.”

Starlight nodded in agreement. “So will I.”

“Trixie will think about helping out as well, if Trixie is capable to do so while also impressing Starswirl the Bearded.”

Twilight rolled her eyes while Starlight stifled a giggle. “That’s quite the heart of gold you got there, Trixie,” Twilight said, her words heavy with sarcasm.

“Thank you, Twilight. That’s so kind of you to notice,” Trixie said with a wave of her hoof and a big grin.

With all the show’s major roles filled on stage, Twilight had to head up to the royal box seats. They were directly above the judges' table, and the royal box seemed to be comprised primarily of a train’s dining car which had been splayed open like a fancy dollhouse. Cartoonishly large hinges were visible where the roof and side walls connected with the back of the dining car.

Twilight saw Princess Luna sitting in the royal box, a poof of magic appearing on a table beside her just as Twilight was landing. Appearing from inside the magic smoke was a blue, star-decorated mug and a brown paper bag. The sweet aromas of Sweet Apple Acres baked goods wafted from the bag, mixing with the subtle bitter aroma of Luna’s chosen beverage of the morning: coffee.

“Princess Luna, it’s a surprise to see you here,” Twilight said as she took her own seat in the royal box.

Luna stifled a yawn and took a sip of her coffee before even attempting to answer. “Yes, well, Discord was very insistent. And with Celestia already here, her duties of the day might have fallen to me if I had remained in Canterlot. My choice was simple. Either I could be here, enjoying this coffee and the spectacle of this contest, or I could be in Canterlot suffering through endless meetings with only my sister’s mild teas.

“Thus, I decided to race off to rescue my sister from her unknown fate and left Canterlot quite gallantly.” Luna brought her mug to her mouth to take another sip of coffee before gently levitating one of the apple fritters she had ordered in front of Twilight. Twilight politely declined the offer and opened her mouth to continue the conversation.

However, the coliseum suddenly started getting darker. Looking up, Twilight could see storm clouds blotting out the sun. But the clouds were not being moved by pegasi. No, they were brewing on their own, and then there was a sharp crack. The audience, as a whole, yelped as a bolt of lightning lanced down from the clouds and struck the dead center of the stage. Where the lighting struck, Discord appeared, wearing his ostentatious outfit and standing with limbs spread as he smiled to the audience.

“Mares and stallions. Fillies and colts of all ages,” Discord began, his voice filling the coliseum. “What you are about to witness is a spectacle never seen before. On this stage, a battle will brew as skills and wills clash.” The stadium began to fill with the sounds of combat. Shadows danced across the walls and audience seating: silhouettes of ponies clashing with weapons both on the ground and in the air.

“From an elixir to cure the sniffles to a substance that might very well rip apart the fabric of reality, we are all about to take a trip from the mundane to the legendary.” The cauldrons in each of the two labs began to stew and boil, putting out huge plumes of smoke. The smoke was appropriately tinted to be red and green, like the labs themselves. From the smoking cauldrons, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy rose into view, wearing their red and green dresses respectively.

Pinkie and Fluttershy climbed down from the cauldrons and walked across the stage to join Discord as he continued speaking. “So please join me, your humble host, Discord, and my lovely assistants as we watch two mares enter into pitched combat with cauldrons and fire. Sit and join us as they meet on this battlefield to defend their honor and to prove which of them truly is—”

With a snap of Discord’s claw, the whole coliseum went pitch black. Then, from the cauldrons bubbling in the two labs, bright bursts of colors and fireworks shot out. The audience oohed and ahhed, and eventually, the sparkles of the fireworks spelled out words in the air which twirled and danced for all to see. They spelled out the words which Discord said, his voice echoing in the darkness.

“The Elixir Master!”

With that, the lighting returned to normal, and the audience cheered. Ponies were waving green and red flags, almost every pony showing their support for either Zecora or Meadowbrook.

Twilight hated to admit it, but even she was a little excited after an opening ceremony like that.

Discord took a brief few minutes to explain the rules, and the fact he did so calmly left Twilight pretty impressed. There would be five rounds. During each round, Zecora and Meadowbrook would be challenged to fix a problem using their expertise and skill sets. The fruit of their efforts would then be judged by Celestia, Starswirl, and Starlight to see who won each round. Whoever won three out of the five rounds would be crowned the Elixir Master.

On top of that, Discord had even accounted for the fact that potions could normally take hours to prepare. When the first round started, Discord put each potion lab inside a temporal acceleration bubble. Though only a few minutes would pass for everyone outside the bubbles, inside the bubbles a few hours sped by. That was also why Discord had both Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy acting as his assistant. Each of them would be inside the bubbles as well, Pinkie Pie with Meadowbrook and Fluttershy with Zecora. They would send out little reports regularly that Discord would display to the audience, not unlike the internet videos Twilight had seen during her first visit to Canterlot High.

It would allow the audience to get glimpses of the process, to see moments of triumph and struggle by the two potion-makers. At the same time, the whole contest would be completed over the course of a single day instead of several.

The first round was already well underway as Twilight watched from the royal box seat with Luna. The first round’s challenge was what Discord called a “cornerstone” of any potion maker’s repertoire: an unsniffle elixir. Twilight herself remembered reading about it in Mage Meadowbrook’s journal. After finally getting the unsniffle elixir right for the first time, Meadowbrook received her first healer’s mask from her mother.

Though, as she sat waiting for the first reports from inside the temporal acceleration bubbles to come in, Twilight couldn’t help but glance over to Luna. Luna was finishing what had to be her third mug of coffee and seemed to be more awake than she was a few minutes ago.

Luna was awake enough, in fact, that she noticed that Twilight’s nervous gaze was resting upon her. “You seemed troubled, Twilight Sparkle. A bit for your thoughts, or perhaps an apple fritter?”

“Why shouldn’t I be troubled?” The simple question was enough to get Twilight to gush out her anxious energy as she looked back to the stage. “Discord is causing this huge ruckus, he might be driving Mage Meadowbrook and Zecora further apart, and he’s messed up my carefully scheduled day!”

Princess Luna chuckled and set a reassuring hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Well, I cannot speak for your upended schedule, but I will give up this one piece of information to hopefully calm your nerves.” Luna set down her coffee mug, letting it be whisked away by magic to be refilled at one of the concession stands. “There is a method to Discord’s madness. He had to explain to me and Celestia the full extent of his plans before we would issue him his permit.”

“I wish that made me feel better, but the fact there’s a plan behind all this only makes me worry more,” Twilight said before the first reports from inside the time bubbles started to play, projected above the stage by Discord’s magic.

Zecora and Meadowbrook were both hard at work, and though they were making the same thing, Twilight was able to glean from the reports that the pair of them were using different recipes. She couldn't deny, she had almost been hoping the pair would end up producing the exact same unsniffle elixir. In her opinion, a tie in the first round would help diffuse the tension between Zecora and Meadowbrook. She and Fluttershy then could make an attempt before the second round started to talk the two potion makers out of continuing their duel.

The first plan, however, was already crumbling. If Zecora and Meadowbrook were using different recipes with different ingredients, the chances of the recipes coming out exactly the same were greatly diminished. In the end, like the rest of the audience, Twilight could only watch anxiously as the first round progressed.

“Three… two… one… and time’s up!” Discord said, the crowd joining him in the countdown and then cheering as the time bubbles dissipated. Zecora and Meadowbrook both stood holding their potions in simple wood bowls, and they were accompanied by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie respectively. The four mares all began moving away from the potion labs and towards the center of the stage, but even in the early moments of the judging phase, Twilight could see the potions had different colors.

Once the four mares had gotten close to the center of the stage, Discord grew out from between the wooden boards like a weed. “Now, let us meet our volunteer patient for the first round. She’s a rising star in Equestrian fashion and a proud resident of Ponyville. Please welcome to the stage, Rarity!”

The audience cheered as not one but two Raritys walked onto the stage. They were both coughing, sneezing, and stumbling about as if they were afflicted with one of the worst colds imaginable. Though based on what Twilight knew about the unsniffle elixir, the worst thing the pair of them had was a head cold. Still, despite the fact they were hamming up the illness, both Raritys were being dutifully helped on stage and cared for by a single Spike. Now Twilight understood where her number one assistant had disappeared to that morning.

Each Rarity took a seat in center stage, and each one was soon provided with a potion. Discord appeared behind them, now wearing a blue polo shirt. “Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. Our duplicate Rarity today is brought to you by your local mirror pool. Yes, I’m The Spirit of Chaos, Discord, here with one of the finest products you can’t find anywhere, literally.” With a twirl of his claw Discord produced a jug of water, which he held aloft. “For those times when you need to be in more than one place at the same time, Mirror Pool water is there to create copies of you like a cheap printing press. Order now, and we might even teach you the spell to make those cheap copies go back where they came from.”

Discord poofed away, several copies of himself appearing near the audience. In a single, choreographed motion they all gestured inward to the stage as a single copy of Discord’s voice filled the coliseum. “Still, let’s not delay a moment more and watch as our duplicate Raritys are given their unsniffle elixirs.”

The real Rarity and the fake, who seemed to sniffle and blow their noses in perfect unison, were each given a potion to drink. Each held the bowl in her magic, and each took a sniff of it. That was when their behavior began to differ. The Rarity that was given Meadowbrook’s potion scrunched up her nose and quickly pushed the potion away, repulsed by the smell. The Rarity holding Zecora’s potion, however, seemed to be mildly surprised at the pleasantness of her potion’s aroma.

Zecora’s Rarity began drinking the potion without fuss, downing the dose quickly and then even licking her lips a little bit. “My, what a delightful berry flavor,” she said as she returned the bowl to Zecora.

Meadowbrook’s Rarity had to hold her nose as she drank her potion, choking it down and quickly shoving the emptied bowl back into Meadowbrook’s hooves. She shivered and used a tissue to wipe her mouth.

Yet, in the moments that passed and Twilight watched from her seat, Meadowbrook’s Rarity began to perk up. She took a few deep breaths, and the redness of her nose quickly vanished. She even smiled and got out of her seat, stretching her neck and once more breathing deeply. Zecora’s Rarity, on the other hoof, still coughed and sniffled. It didn’t seem as bad, but it was not a drastic or sudden improvement either.

Discord smiled, moving between the two Raritys and floating back towards the judges' table. “Now that both potions have had time to begin taking effect, let’s hear from our judges. Let’s begin with Starlight Glimmer. What are your thoughts?”

Starlight held up two pieces of paper that had been given to her during the early stages of the round. “Well, I looked over the recipes Zecora and Meadowbrook were going to use. They both use ingredients that share several common traits, as far as I can tell. I think Zecora is using the more modern recipe. Some of the ingredients in Meadowbrook’s chosen recipe are a lot harder to come by nowadays.”

“Modern, however, does not mean better,” Starswirl interjected with a stroke of his beard. “We need only to look at the results. Meadowbrook’s potion provided immediate and complete relief while Zecora’s patient is still very much congested and ill.”

“Yes, but I think I know the reason why Zecora chose her particular recipe,” Celestia said. “Neither she nor Meadowbrook knew who their patient was going to be. All they knew was they needed to make an elixir and that its effectiveness would be proven on stage. There are two weaknesses in the recipe Meadowbrook chose. The first is its foul taste. It can be difficult to get certain kinds of patients to take medicine willing if its taste is too horrible.”

“What kind of pony would rather endure an illness than take a bad tasting potion?” Starswirl asked.

“Young colts and fillies are the first examples that come to my mind.”

There was a murmur in the crowd as ponies quietly discussed the simple, but important, consideration that Celestia had pointed out. Twilight herself appreciated it, as she could fairly clearly remember how much she disliked her family’s favored brand of cough syrup and how much she’d whine about having to take it the few times she got sick as a filly.

“The second issue with Meadowbrook’s potion is that it’s not suitable for all kinds of creatures. Dragons, for example, would suffer some undesirable side effects. After all, Meadowbrook's potion uses a bit of pollen from dragon sneeze trees. As the name suggests, it causes sneezing fits in dragons.”

Starswirl huffed at Celestia’s observation. “Well, in the end, both mares prepared their recipes exceptionally, so the only way we can judge them is on their recipe choice. In that regard, I cast my vote for Meadowbrook. The effectiveness of a potion must always be the top priority.” Starswirl’s horn glowed, and from beneath the judges' table, he withdrew a small wooden sign that had a red base color and had Meadowbrook’s cutie mark painted on it.

“I am sorry to say, I must disagree,” Celestia said as she lifted a green colored sign that had Zecora’s cutie mark on it. “I cast my vote for Zecora. A potion maker that makes considerations for her patients, even in this environment, is to be commended.”

“Ooo, it’s only the first round and already we’re seeing the tension on our judges' table.” Discord drew out a butter knife and ran it through the air between Celestia and Starswirl. He managed to get some orange tinted looking butter to appear. He spread the orange butter on toast and quickly ate it before licking his lips. “Hmmm, yes, that is delicious tension. Now, our swing vote comes down to Starlight Glimmer.”

Starlight chuckled a little, nervously looking back and forth between Zecora and Meadowbrook. She glanced back at Trixie, to perhaps get some support from her, but Trixie was munching on a piece of toast with the orange tension butter. Looking back forward, Starlight held her breath a moment before picking one of her two signs and holding it up.

The sign she had selected was Meadowbrook’s.

“I get that it’s important to consider young ponies, but in the end, Zecora’s potion is still working while Meadowbrook’s has been done this whole time. I think most fillies and colts could forgive five seconds of bad taste if they started feeling better immediately.”

“And the first round goes to Mage Meadowbrook, the living legend and pillar of Equestria,” Discord said loudly as the audience members holding red flags cheered loudly.

Twilight, however, did not cheer, and as she looked down on the stage, she could tell Fluttershy was not celebrating either. The first round had not ended in a draw. Worse than that, Twilight felt she could see the hostility growing between Meadowbrook and Zecora. Meadowbrook returned to her lab with pride in her step. She even smiled and waved at some of the audience members close to the stage.

Zecora, on the other hoof, marched back to her lab. It was hard to tell if she was irritated at herself or Meadowbrook, but Twilight was sure Zecora did not look happy with how things had gone. She did not take her rage out on anything or anyone, but there was a sharpness in Zecora’s movements.

Things were only getting worse between the two, and if things didn’t change soon, Twilight feared the hope of the two of them being friends would become irreversibly damaged.

Author's Note

The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

Round 2

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

The audience cheered as the time bubbles went up again. The second round of the contest was set, and the challenge not so cut and dry as the unsniffle elixir. Discord had brought in a pair of sickly trees. Each one was withered, with only a few dozen surviving leaves clinging to the otherwise empty branches. The goal of the second round was to provide a long-lasting cure for whatever ailed the trees and restore them to health. Zecora and Mage Meadowbrook had to prove they were not only capable of making the cure, but they had to also identify the affliction. The audience was already bubbling, trying to make their own predictions about what was wrong with the trees.

Trixie, on the other hoof, was already bored.

Yes, Discord gave them glimpses into the temporal spheres. They could see some of what the two potion makers were doing, but it was all so… unengaging. The joy of live entertainment was the performance interacting with the audience. With the way Discord was running things, the audience might as well be sitting in a movie theater watching some romantic comedy drivel.

On top of that, Zecora and Meadowbrook were being too polite to one another on stage, in Trixie’s opinion. Where was the head-to-head combat? Where were the angry glares and ruthless banter? Where were the mind games?

In all, it just further validated Trixie’s opinion that Discord’s showmareship paled in comparison to her own. If she was running this show, the audience would be on the edge of their seats constantly. Trixie just could not understand how such an all-powerful… power had to end up belonging to somepony like Discord. She could have made much better use of it.

For the moment, she had to find a way to entertain herself and perhaps jazz things up, though she doubted Discord would let her just start performing tricks in the middle of the stage. She didn’t want to get teleported out of the coliseum and away from the judges' table.

Still, thinking of the table and the very-important ponies she was in the company of, Trixie smirked and glanced upward. Her eyes settled on the royal box seats that loomed overhead. She could see Twilight Sparkle’s hooves resting on the banister as well as the occasional flicker of Princess Luna’s mane. Checking briefly to make sure Discord wasn’t looking in her direction, Trixie conjured a small sparkler of magic and launched it upward.

The small sparkler of magic managed to draw Twilight’s attention, making her peer over the edge of the banister. Trixie smiled and waved, trying to make herself look as comfortable as possible on her sitting cushion behind the judges' table. Her little bit of taunting quickly had the desired result, as she saw Twilight’s face fall into a frown.

That was, however, just Trixie’s opening act in her grand show of gently hassling Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now came the main event. Trixie stood up and began walking along the backside of the judges’ table. She made no effort to hide the fact she was moving towards Starswirl the Bearded. Glancing upward, Trixie could see Twilight shake her head, miming for her to go back to her seat. Trixie just shook her head back. Why shouldn’t she, The Great and Powerful Trixie, have a conversation with the famed unicorn sorcerer?

Coming to a stop directly behind Starswirl, Trixie took a moment to straighten her hat and cape. She then began reaching out a hoof, to touch Starswirl’s shoulder and get his attention. As she did, she used her peripheral vision to watch Twilight. Twilight was shaking her head firmly and waving Trixie off. Trixie just kept smiling. She tapped Starswirl’s shoulder gently, and then gave her cape a toss as she made a dramatic step forward into his field of vision.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid we’ve not been properly introduced. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Starswirl the Bearded. I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Starswirl glanced away from the time spheres, which had been the focus of his attention. A great many things around the arena had him curious. Trixie had noticed him paying careful attention to numerous trappings of the modern age that were new and mysterious to the ancient wizard. If he found the modern era interesting, Trixie was sure he’d find her the most interesting thing he had encountered since returning from… whatever weird placed he had banished himself to.

Trixie knew it had a name, but it was hard to remember the name of anything that wasn’t directly related to her.

Starswirl sized Trixie up before giving his reply. “Sorcerers and sorceresses who proclaim themselves in such a grand manner, I’ve found, are usually lacking in the substance to back up such bold claims.”

“Well, Trixie supposes that must be true. After all, you surely do not have as impressive a beard as Trixie expected you to.”

A snort of laughter cut into the conversation, making both Trixie and Starswirl glance over at Princess Celestia. The princess had recovered quickly, but there was no denying the snort had come from her. Starswirl watched the princess for a moment, then slowly turned his attention back to Trixie. “I assure you, my sorcery more than makes up for the plainness of my beard.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, just as you should not doubt Trixie’s grandness. Judging a book by its cover just isn’t wise, you know.” Trixie reached out with her magic. She picked up her own sitting cushion from where she had left it and placed it beside Starswirl. She then swiftly sat down, ensuring to flutter her cape in an impressive manner as she did so.

“While there is merit in not judging the content of a book by its cover, I can still tell the difference between a children's book and a novel,” Starswirl said. “I’ll give you three guesses which one you equate to.”

“But you only gave me two options. Why would Trixie need three guesses?” Trixie asked.

“Why indeed?”

Trixie huffed through her nostrils but kept her composure. She knew this was no different than an audience’s heckling. A real showmare stayed above such lackluster insults. “Anyway, how are you liking the modern world? It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it?”

“There are certain things about it worth seeing. The advancements in the ‘sciences’ have brought wonders to everyday living that were only possible with the highest levels of magic in centuries past. I am particularly interested in studying the steam locomotives and the extensive rail network that now spans our realm.

“Though the magic that exists in Equestria now is also surprising. This Discord creature, in particular, is doing things that seem to defy all conventional thoughts of magical order as well as cause and effect.”

“Uh, yeah… because he’s a spirit of chaos. He’s only announced it like, five times,” Trixie said. “I’d think a great and powerful sorcerer like you would be a better listener.”

Starswirl glowered at Trixie. “Just because that is what he calls himself doesn’t mean it’s his true nature. A unicorn capable of creating temporal distortion fields with such precision and control could easily portray himself as a demi-god of disorder.”

Trixie blew a brief raspberry with her tongue and gestured towards the center of the stage. “I guess Discord’s time spheres are interesting, but they don’t compare to Trixie’s own age spells.”

“You can perform age spells?” Starswirl asked, arching an eyebrow.

Trixie smiled, adjusting her posture to near perfection in her seat as she puffed out her chest. She knew she had him hooked. Now all she had to do was begin really upselling herself. “It was under a rather unique set of conditions, but yes, Trixie made two young colts become a newborn foal and an elderly stallion at the same time.”

“That is rather impressive.” Starswirl turned to face Trixie more properly. From the periphery of Trixie’s vision, she could still see that Twilight was watching them intently, and looked rather perturbed that she had gotten so much of Starswirl’s attention. Still, Trixie just kept on grinning as she ensured the conversation continued.

“Well, thank you. That’s very kind of you to say.”

“And the spell’s effect was instantaneous?” Starswirl asked.

“But of course. As I said, I am The Great and Powerful Trixie. Perhaps you’d like to hear how I removed a mare’s muzzle from her very face without causing her to suffocate.”

Trixie noticed movement out of the periphery of her vision again, but this time it was not Twilight. Princess Celestia leaned into the conversation, a small smile on her lips. Trixie knew that smile, and it wasn’t a good smile. It was the smile of somepony that was about to magic missile her show. It was the grin of an experienced heckler. “As I recall from Twilight’s letter detailing the incident, you were in the possession of the Alicorn Amulet at the time you cast most of these advanced spells.”

Trixie flinched as the secret she had been ever so carefully dancing around was suddenly thrown to the forefront of the conversation. But she recovered, flashing a smile and keeping her voice pleasant. “Well, Trixie did say she performed the age spell under a unique set of circumstances.”

“That is a dark magical artifact,” Starswirl said as he focused on Trixie. “How in Equestria did you escape its influence?”

“Oh, Trixie just took it off.”

Starswirl turned his head to face Princess Celestia. “And did Twilight Sparkle have any influence in her decision to take off the Alicorn Amulet?”

Trixie almost stood up from her seat cushion but managed to catch herself before she let her audience of two see they had gotten under her skin. “Don’t you know, Starswirl? The Alicorn Amulet can only be taken off by the pony wearing it. It speaks to Trixie’s immense personal willpower that she was able to remove it herself.”

“Funny, the way I remember Twilight describing it was she tricked you,” Princess Celestia said. “She wore a fake amulet made of a rather fancy doorstop, and managed to trick you into thinking it was a more powerful artifact.”

Trixie’s cheeks puffed. The princess was outmaneuvering her. Still, Trixie knew she could regain control of this situation. No pony was more charismatic than The Great and Powerful Trixie! “Well… you surely cannot blame Trixie for believing Twilight Sparkle would be able to find such a thing. She found the Elements of Harmony, did she not? Trixie is surprised Twilight’s cutie mark isn’t related to finding magical macguffins.”

A firm tone entered Starswirl’s voice. “I would not consider the Elements of Harmony, the legacy of myself and the Pillars of Equestria, as macguffins.” Trixie could tell her comment had managed to strike a nerve. It seemed that Starswirl didn’t like his work being belittled. She’d have to remember that for later, for when it was time to return the heckling she received with interest.

Starswirl, however, managed to catch himself. He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Yet, at the same time, it does seem Equestria is lucky that we had the foresight to provide it with such an important relic. I mean, if the skills of this modern potion maker are any indication, Equestria has certainly stumbled back more than a few steps in some fields in the interest of progressing others.”

Princess Celestia sat up a bit straighter, and small alarm bells were going off in Trixie’s head. Like a comedian who had just told a joke that offended the audience far more than entertained, Starswirl’s comment seemed to displease the princess a great deal. “Starswirl, isn’t it rather biased of you to be undercutting Zecora’s talents after only one round?”

“I didn’t realize you had gotten so skilled at hypocrisy,” Starswirl retorted. “How can you defend your vote for Zecora in the first round as anything but biased?”

“She brewed one of the finest unsniffle elixirs I’ve ever seen by modern standards. That and I looked at Mage Meadowbrook’s recipe. Ice Irises? Even a thousand years ago they were not plentiful, and their accessibility hasn’t improved. Zecora’s potion was made with ingredients readily available almost anywhere in Equestria.”

“Yet she has access to a wealth of rare ingredients because of Discord. Limiting herself to common ingredients only shows she is not ready to attempt more difficult potions that require far rarer ingredients.”

Trixie opened her mouth to try and put herself back into the conversation, but her voice died in her throat as she saw Princess Celestia’s brow furrow. She could tell when an argument was brewing, and worse, she could tell the pair had completely forgotten she was there. Being heckled off a stage was one thing, but being totally ignored... It was decidedly not how she wanted her conversation with Starswirl to end.

Though glancing upward, Trixie could see Twilight’s face stricken with worry, so at least there was a silver lining.

Still, with nothing else to do, Trixie picked up her cushion and slinked back to her place just behind Starlight. Yet, as she huffed in disappointment and sat down, she couldn’t help but notice a pair of eyes glaring at her… and they weren’t even Twilight’s.

“Did you really have to do that?” Starlight whispered.

Trixie frowned as she made herself more comfortable on her cushion. “Trixie was only trying to have a pleasant conversation with Starswirl and make Twilight feel a little jealous. I could not have known things would turn out as they did.”

“Well, congratulations. You’ve made it pretty clear to me that unless Zecora or Meadowbrook do something really impressive or spectacularly wrong, I’m the one that’s going to be deciding each round as the tiebreaker.”

Trixie wanted to deflect, but she could see the stress on Starlight’s face. She chose a route more… appropriate for good friends. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Starlight’s expression softened from irritation to worry as she looked back at the stage, focusing on the magical displays that were showing what was going on inside the temporal dome. "You may have brought some things to the surface, but that doesn’t mean the situation wasn’t there to begin with. I just hope Pinkie and Fluttershy are having some luck convincing Meadowbrook and Zecora to call this whole thing off.”

“Yeah,” Trixie said, nodding her head before happening to glance upward. “So… do you think my conversation with Starswirl made Twilight jealous?”

“Ooo, that’s a pretty color.”

Pinkie was crouched down, lowering her eye level to be even with a test tube Mage Meadowbrook was working with. The skilled healer had ground some of the sickly tree’s leaves into a fine powder. She then added the powder to a test tube along with some clear potion. The combination had caused the potion to turn a bright red, reminding Pinkie of the best cherry taffy she had ever had. Admittedly, she couldn’t resist, digging into a bag of snacks she had brought with her on stage and popping a piece of soft, gummy candy into her mouth.

After all, she couldn’t watch an intense contest of potion makers without snacks, even if she were helping with the show.

“Well, it surely is an appealing shade of red, but most importantly, it tells me what’s wrong with the tree.” Meadowbrook moved to the cauldron in the center of her potion lab, drawing Pinkie’s attention away from the test tube. Pinkie watched as Meadowbrook tapped the crystals beneath the cauldron, making them glow to life. Meadowbrook then grabbed a handled jug from beside the cauldron. She tipped it over, letting the water inside pour out into the cauldron. Though the jug itself was rather small, the flow of water never slowed down, allowing Meadowbrook an easy means of filling her cauldron.

It was just one of the many conveniences Discord had given to the potion labs so the contestants could focus on making the potions. Pinkie personally wanted a jug like that which could pour out an endless supply of the perfect party punch, but she’d have to ask Discord about that later.

“What do you think is wrong?” Pinkie asked from outside Meadowbrook’s potion lab. She moved along the perimeter, adhering to a rule that only the contestants were allowed in the potion labs. Yes, she got as close as she could, her hooves almost always treading the edge of the line. Yet, she never crossed. Pinkamena Diane Pie always played by the rules when it came to games, and this was one doozy of a game.

“Why it just has to be bark blight,” Meadowbrook answered. “I once helped Mistmane handle a whole epidemic that struck the largest fruit-bearing orchard in Equestria. Turned out that some competitors to the orchard’s owners introduced the blight on purpose, even though losing that harvest could have meant widespread food shortages for all of Equestria.”

“Sounds like it was a good thing you were there to save the day.”

“I’m just happy that I can do my part to help ponies who need it. That’s what a healer is supposed to do, after all.”

Pinkie Pie nodded her head firmly as she began digging in her snack bag for something else to eat. “Of course. In fact, that reminds me of this one time Zecora helped Apple Bloom with the Cutie-Pox.”

Meadowbrook finished filling the cauldron with water and put down the jug. She then began moving to a large cabinet in one corner of the potion lab. “The Cutie-Pox. I can’t say I’ve heard of that.”

Pinkie watched as Meadowbrook opened the cabinet, revealing another convenience Discord had provided the contestants. Inside the cabinet, defying the laws of volume and space, was an extensive warehouse. Through the cabinet’s open doors, Pinkie could see rows upon rows of ingredients from the mundane to the magical. On the threshold to the extra-dimensional warehouse, blocking anyone from stepping inside, was a desk. At that desk sat a copy of Discord. Dressed in rather plain office clothes with thick glasses, it was a very mild and well-mannered clone of the spirit of chaos.

The Discord clone wordlessly placed an order form in front of Mage Meadowbrook along with a quill and a bottle of ink. Meadowbrook took the provided materials and began to write down the list of ingredients she would require. As that happened, Pinkie positioned herself to be as close to Meadowbrook as possible as she popped a few more sweet, gummy candies into her mouth.

“Oh, it was a doozie,” Pinkie said as Meadowbrook worked to fill out her order form. “See, my friend AJ’s little sister, Apple Bloom, really, really, really, really wanted to get her cutie mark. So, she went to try bowling, but it didn’t work out so well. She got all down in the dumps. Even a super quick Pinkie Pie Party couldn’t turn her frown upside down. Anyway, to skip to the good part, she managed to give herself the Cutie-Pox, which made a cutie mark appear on her flank.”

Meadowbrook finished with the ingredient order form and passed it to the clone Discord, who disappeared from sight to fetch the ingredients. “Well, sounds like she got what she wanted.”

Pinkie Pie pulled another snack out of her bag, a caramel apple on a stick. “I know, the trouble is she got a second cutie mark, then a third, and then a fourth!” Pinkie sank her teeth into the caramel apple, and then used the connected stick to point at different parts of her own body, showing the numerous places Apple Bloom had gained a cutie mark.

“Oh my. That does sound serious.”

After finishing a bite of her caramel apple, Pinkie Pie nodded. “It was. By lunchtime, she was covered in over a dozen cutie marks. What made it worse was the fact she had to try and perform all the talents that came with those cutie marks. She was tap dancing while spinning a hoop. She had to try and play the accordion while taming lions. We were all worried it was going to spread to the whole town.

“But Zecora knew just what to do,” Pinkie Pie said, running a hoof through her mane and causing the curls to stand up straight and form an approximation of Zecora’s characteristic mohawk. “She had some seeds that grew into a really pretty flower when somepony told the truth. When Apple Bloom ate the flower, she was cured!”

“Do you mean she had some honest lily seeds?”

Pinkie’s hair bounced back to its regular curly shape, and she nodded her head. “Yeah, that sounds right. I think she just called them the seeds of truth. Still, those seeds sure did know when somepony was telling the truth,” she said before taking another big bite of her caramel apple.

“Well, that is what they are famous for,” Meadowbrook said with a chuckle. The Discord clone returned, and silently passed over a basket full of ingredients to Meadowbrook. She gently picked up the basket and turned away from the cabinet while the Discord clone reached out and pulled the cabinet doors shut. “And I have to admit, if the Cutie-Pox is a disease that has dishonest magic at its core, then using honest lily seeds to counteract it is impressive.”

Pinkie smiled, savoring the final big bite of her caramel apple. Yes, this was exactly what she needed to do. If she rebuilt Meadowbrook’s respect for Zecora, then they could be friends again! Once they were friends again, she could throw a super great potion-themed party with no less than two dozen different kinds of punch. Of course, she’d then encourage everyone to mix the punches together to create crazy creations.

“Though, it’s a bit curious.”

Pinkie Pie was snapped out of her party-planning daydream. She swallowed and gently dropped what little remained of her caramel apple into a little bag of trash she kept alongside her snack bag. “What’s curious?”

Meadowbrook worked to unload her basket of ingredients on the potion lab’s counter and organize them. “Why, it’s just unusual for somepony to just be carrying around honest lily seeds. They are right powerful, but they have a very narrow range of use.”

“Well, I think Zecora might have suspected something was up. She was low on heart’s desire after Apple Bloom visited her hut.”

Meadowbrook stopped what she was doing, looking over at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie couldn’t help but feel a sinking sensation in her stomach, and it wasn’t because she had eaten the caramel apple too quickly. Meadowbrook did not look happy.

“So her apprentice not only stole a potent potion ingredient but then broke one of the first rules of potion making, making some unknown concoction and applying it to herself?”

“Apprentice? Oh no no no. Apple Bloom isn’t Zecora’s apprentice. I mean, she did dabble a little in potion making with Twilight, but she’s definitely not Zecora’s apprentice,” Pinkie said. She was sure her words would smooth over the situation, but Meadowbrook only seemed to get more displeased.

“So, are you saying that Zecora left somepony totally uninitiated in even the basics of potion making alone with her ingredients and tools?”

“Would that be worse?”

Meadowbrook firmly nodded once. “Much worse. That little filly is lucky all she managed to give herself was a case of the cutie-pox.”

Pinkie was forcing a smile, though her ears were flattened against her head. She felt like she was being lectured by her mother, and that was never a good feeling. “How bad could it have gotten?”

Meadowbrook took out a mortar and pestle and began powdering some of the dried leafy ingredients she had procured. “If that little filly used the wrong ingredients, she could have poisoned herself or caused some sort of transformation. Worse, with how much Apple Bloom was pining for her cutie mark, an ill-conceived potion could have unsettled her mind or spirit. In a worst-case scenario, she could have become something as monstrous as The Pony of Shadows.”

“That’s pretty bad.”

“It is, and if that did happen, I would have placed a good portion of the blame directly on Zecora.” Meadowbrook shook her head as she focused on preparing her ingredients. “I’m honestly amazed that mare hasn’t hurt herself or somepony else.”

“But… she…” Pinkie Pie faltered, slowly sinking behind her side of the potion making counter and sprawling out on the floor. She was usually the best at helping ponies make friends, but it seemed like she had only made things worse. Ugh, it was like what happened between Maud and Starlight all over again.

Unfortunately, unlike with them, she didn’t think Zecora and Meadowbrook would be able to work things out if she just butted out. So if she was making things worse by trying to help, and things would only get worse if she didn’t help, what in the world was she supposed to do?

It was a perplexing paradox, and she couldn’t talk to Gummy about it. He usually gave such good advice in situations like this.

“Are you sure you would not like anything on your order besides tea?”

Twilight looked to her side, where Luna was filling out another “delivery” request for the many restaurants and carts that had become concession stands in Discord’s chaotic coliseum. The second round was nearing its end and the timer was running out. Discord’s brief glimpses into the sphere showed Meadowbrook working diligently over her cauldron while Zecora hadn’t touched hers. She had instead spent the whole round picking over a stack of old wood and a pile of rocks.

Twilight didn’t understand it, and she could hear some of her anxiety echoed in the mutterings of the ponies seated adjacent to the royal box. Had Zecora given up, or did she have an ace up her metaphorical sleeve? Or did her remedy simply not require a cauldron?

“No, tea is plenty, thank you,” Twilight replied before watching Luna send the order form off. It was then that a bell rang. In fact, Twilight was ninety-five percent sure it was the town’s clock tower bell, but Discord had repurposed it to signal when the timers ran out. Twilight put her forehooves up on the banister, leaning forward as far as she dared, as she watched the temporal spheres dissipate.

From what Twilight could see, both mares stood ready. Like the first round, neither had been rushed to complete their remedy. They were both confident in their solution, but only the judges would be able to reveal if that confidence was well-founded. Meadowbrook once more held a wooden bowl containing a liquid potion. Zecora held a corked glass jar against her chest with one hoof, as if trying to intentionally hide its contents.

A poof of smoke formed between the two ill trees. Twilight expected Discord to just leap out, but instead, the smoke just lingered and… did she hear music? A quick glance up and Twilight could see a small quartet of Discord clones playing on two lutes, a flute, and a drum. The lighting around the stage dimmed, and Twilight felt like she had just seen a curtain rise on a theatrical performance. Finally, the real Discord rose from the smoke, standing in a dramatic pose. He was dressed in a fantasy costume, not unlike the clothes his Ogres and Oubliettes archer character wore. He even had the long flowing blond hair and a turnip for one hand.

“Oh, what sorrow hath afflicted my heart and plagued my mind. These trees, once beautiful in their untended growth, are now struck low by the same chaos of their birth. Everfree, forever in your bows does nature’s chaos dance, but in that sweet dance lies the dangers. Yet is it in the joy of dance that we see life’s grandeur? Yet, to have not danced in fear would surely be of greater sorrow.

“Yet, hark, my eyes doth see two healers of skill. Dear trees, do they carry with them that which can restore thine health, or shall your dance end? Shall your ballet be squashed by the four left hooves of fate? Only time will tell… only time will see if you will dance to life’s melody.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and used her hoof to gently whisper in Luna’s direction. “He’s really hamming it up, isn’t he?”

“It is a bit much,” Luna said with a nod. “I also find his attempt to speak in the tongue of the land from a thousand years ago… brutish. I will have to decide later if am to be offended by this performance or not.”

Twilight nodded her head, and opened her own mouth to offer her opinion, but found herself cut off as Discord cut down on his acting and somewhat got back to actually hosting the contest.

“Come and approach these precious trees, speak that which you believe ails them, and then apply your cure. Then we shall let time tell if your words and remedy ring true,” Discord said, the lights on the stage returning to normal as he gestured for Zecora and Meadowbrook to come forward. Meadowbrook was the first to make a move, approaching the potted roots of her assigned tree.

“Well, it’s plain as a frog on a log that these poor trees are sick with bark blight, and I got just the remedy for it.” Meadowbrook poured her potion onto the roots of the tree, and like her remedy for Rarity, the potion seemed to have an instantaneous effect. From the roots up to the branches, life flowed back into the tree. Fresh leaves budded and grew into shape, and soon the tree stood proud and healthy. The crowd cheered, red pennants being waved eagerly by the those who rooted for Meadowbrook.

Discord stepped around Meadowbrook’s tree, his turniped hand gently touching the bark. “Meadowbrook, healer of legend, your potion has brought vigor and beauty back to this tree. It flourishes as if never afflicted.”

Meadowbrook flashed a smile, and Twilight felt her stomach sink. It sure looked like Meadowbrook had knocked it out of the park. Leaning forward just a little farther and looking down, Twilight took a peek at the judges’ table. It was just as Twilight expected. Of the three judges, Starswirl was looking the most pleased. She doubted his vote would be for anyone except Meadowbrook at this point.

Still, as Twilight turned her attention back towards the center of the stage, she saw Zecora’s stance had not changed. She looked completely at ease as Discord turned his attention to her and her assigned tree.

“And what have thou brought to aid my ailing tree? Do you bring a brew stewed beneath the light of the full moon? Perhaps a powder ground from ingredients both rare and precious?” Discord asked, keeping up his fantasy archer persona a bit longer as he draped himself off the branches of the ill tree like a sad shawl.

Zecora approached the base of her own tree and smiled pleasantly. “Bark blight is surely the worst of the tree’s affliction. But to Meadowbrook’s claim, I must make a contradiction. Though, if I may, I would like to withhold my diagnosis. I’d rather apply my cure and see the results of this symbiosis.” With that Zecora held up her corked jar, revealing it to be filled with a colorful… something. As much as Twilight strained her eyes, she just couldn’t quite make out what Zecora had.

Yet it had to be something unusual. Twilight saw Pinkie zip over beside Zecora and bring her face within an inch of the corked jar. “They look like candy! What are they?!”

Twilight debated conjuring a spell to try and magnify her vision, as now her curiosity was truly piqued. Discord, thankfully, seemed to predict that many in the audience would be just as curious. With a snap of his paw, Discord made an illusion appear above the stage. It depicted Zecora’s jar at a hundred times its true size, and in that illusion, Twilight and the whole audience could see what was in Zecora’s jar.

“It appears to be… insects,” Luna said.

“It is,” Twilight confirmed as her inquisitive eyes began taking note of everything she could. The jar was filled with easily a hundred, if not more, ladybug-like insects with glittering, faceted shells. They looked like tiny round gemstones had sprouted legs and started walking around. They were fascinating, they were beautiful, but Twilight had to admit to herself, she didn’t know what they were.

“Eating them I would highly discourage, but your curiosity I’m happy to encourage,” Zecora said, with Discord’s magic assuring that the voice of everyone on stage was clearly audible to the audience. “Geode beetles are what these are named. Useful insects both wild and tamed.” At that, Zecora uncorked the jar and began gently spreading the insects along the base of the tree.

Twilight turned her eyes to the tree. She waited, as did the rest of the audience, but… nothing happened. The bugs didn’t cause some magical reaction to heal the tree. They just… crawled on it, like they were regular old bugs. Twilight had a gut feeling that there had to be more to the geode beetles than that, but others seemed content to already write Zecora’s remedy off as a failure.

“Well, I think we can clearly see who the winner of this round is. She didn’t even prepare a potion,” Starswirl said from the judges' table. “If you intend to forfeit the competition, Miss Zecora, just do it formally instead of wasting everypony’s time.”

With a snap of his claw, Discord disappeared from the trees, leaving his fantasy archer costume to fall to the floor. He reappeared beside Starswirl, now looking like… Twilight’s best guess was a lawyer. A snappy business suit, slicked-back, black hair, and a briefcase. Discord dropped the suitcase down on the table, then slammed his palms against it before shouting, “Objection!”

“What in Equestria could you have to object over?” Starswirl snapped.

“The rules of the contest do not specify the contestants must make a potion. On Page 34, Paragraph 3...” Discord cleared his throat and opened a book in his paw to read. “The rounds of the contest shall be judged on the effectiveness of the remedy given by the contestants, no matter what form or shape that remedy might take, as long as it is prepared with ingredients provided by the supply closets.”

“But this whole thing is called ‘Elixir Master,’” Starswirl said. “You are surely just making this up to sow chaos.”

Twilight suddenly found Discord looking up at her, a smirk on his lips. “Perhaps we could use a ruling from somepony known for reading books.”

“But I don’t have—” Twilight began to answer, only to hear a poof of magic besides her. Turning to look at the small table that sat between her and Luna, she saw Luna’s concessions delivery had arrived. Along with a fresh mug of coffee for Luna and Twilight’s own cup of tea, there was a thick book. Twilight levitated the book up. ‘The Rules,’ was spelled out on the front of it in golden lettering.

“Did he actually make a rulebook?” Twilight said, cracking open the book and flipping through the pages. This was beyond what she could have expected from Discord, and she didn’t know what scared her more: that he kept finding new ways to be chaotically surprising, or that he had managed to surprise her with a book. Still, Twilight quickly opened the book to the correct page and skimmed down to the correct paragraph.

She read the paragraph three times before gently closing the book. She stood up and projected her voice across the coliseum. “Discord’s recitation of the rules is accurate. The remedies provided by Zecora and Meadowbrook have to only be effective in solving the problem they are presented with and be prepared with properly sourced ingredients. They do not have to take the form of a potion. In fact, a lesson Zecora taught me herself is how important it is to have the wisdom to know not every problem can be solved the same way.”

Zecora smiled from where she stood on the stage, bowing her head a little bit in respect to Twilight. Starswirl, however, only seemed to grow more irritated as he stood up from his cushion behind the judge’s table, trying to put himself closer to Discord’s eye level. “That may very well be true,” Starswirl said as he stroked his beard. “Still, we also cannot argue with the results. Meadowbrook’s tree is healthy. Zecora’s tree is sickly and now infested with those Geode Beetles.”

Discord smiled, his goatee growing into a beard of similar size to Starswirl’s. He gave it a similar stroke. “Oh yes, but… I wonder, what state will the trees be in after a week has passed? After all, let us not forget the challenge of this round was to provide a long-lasting cure.”

With that, Discord snapped his claw, and the two trees were enveloped in temporal bubbles and a clock appeared in the air above them. Twilight gently sat back down in the royal box, setting the rulebook between herself and Princess Luna as they joined the audience in watching with bated breath.

The hooves of the clock that floated above the two smaller temporal bubbles were spinning rapidly. Hours past in a matter of seconds, and as time inside the bubbles advanced at a breakneck pace, Twilight could see something happening. The two trees were changing, going through a week of recovery.

Exactly one hundred and sixty seconds later, the temporal spheres popped, and the audience was able to see the state of the trees one week after the respective remedies had been applied. The difference was night and day, and a few audible gasps cut through the audience.

Meadowbrook’s tree was sickly once more. It was not as bad as it had been, but it was not as healthy as it had been when Meadowbrook first applied her potion either. Zecora’s tree was vastly better. Its branches were filled with budding leaves and its surface glistened. It was covered in geode beetles, easily ten times the number of beetles Zecora had originally introduced.

“I don’t understand.” Meadowbrook went to inspect her tree. “The bark blight came back?”

“Though your potion knocked it off track, yes, the bark blight did come back.” Zecora smiled as she moved to her own tree. She held out her hoof, managing to get one of the geode beetles to crawl onto it. She brought the insect close to her muzzle, taking a moment to appreciate the splendor of its gem-like shell. “The tree’s immunity was being held back. That was how the bark blight was able to attack. Too many gem particulates in these trees were bringing their defenses to their knees. That is where these beetles can thrive. They eat gem particulates to survive. They cleaned up the tree, and lo and behold, the bark blight quickly lost its hold.”

Twilight was smiling ear to ear, sitting forward in her seat and finding herself unable to look away. Yes, the tree had an otherworldly beauty because of the geode beetles, but she was far more fascinated by the symbiotic relationship. The beetles helped the tree by eating the particulates, and the beetles got a meal that likely added to their gemstone shells. This whole thing reminded her, a bit, of the Supernaturals book. This was an all-natural remedy, and it was simply super. She felt like she had read something about the geode beetles once before, but she had never heard of them being used for any practical applications. She had to look them up. Maybe the library in Canterlot had some entomology books that could—

“Forgive the interruption, but could somepony perhaps elaborate on these gem particulates and how they were making the tree ill?”

Twilight glanced to her side, her academic jubilation interrupted. Princess Luna had stood from her cushion, and was addressing the stage below. It was a fair question, and it also enlightened Twilight to something. Her eyes moved down to Mage Meadowbrook and Starswirl, who were both looking a little dumbfounded. The two of them, plus Princess Luna, represented the three ponies in the coliseum that were, to varying degrees, newcomers to the modern age.

“I think a small explanation would be beneficial to many, Sister, so allow me to answer your question.” Princess Celestia stood from her seat, moved around the judges’ table, and walked across the stage until she was standing between the two trees. She then used her magic to gently dig in the soil of the gigantic pots that held the trees.

Within a few moments of digging, Celestia had unearthed a gemstone, an uncut topaz that she now held aloft for everypony to see.

“The official term for the condition is Gem Particulate Poisoning. In ages past, one of the reasons Equestria was founded was because of the wealth of gems that naturally grew in the land’s rock and soil. Yet, it wasn’t until a few centuries ago that we realized that such mineral wealth could actually be harmful to agriculture.

“Gem Particulate Poisoning is what occurs when a tree, over its lifespan, absorbs gem particulates through its root system. Those microscopic gem fragments get trapped in the trees, and can even start growing as they do naturally in Equestria’s soil. These growing crystals can then begin to interfere with the tree, depriving it of water and making it more susceptible to other infections.”

Celestia turned and took a step toward Zecora’s tree, her eyes moving over the numerous geode beetles. “Though I’ll admit, this is the first time I’ve seen such a holistic solution to the issue. There are some known remedies, but most involve time-consuming and difficult magic spells that try to filter the gem particulates from both the soil and affected trees. Is this perhaps a remedy used in your homeland, Zecora?”

“My homeland lacks the gem-speckled soil that can cause a tree to grow ill and spoil. It was my tree, my home, that suffered from this syndrome. I was sure I’d lose the roof over my head until I saw these beetles from my bed. A few in my home did arrive and helped some branches to survive. So I gathered as many as I could from rock, grass, brush, and wood. My hut these insects did save, keeping me from having to sleep in a cave.”

“Well, if it isn’t obvious, Zecora has my vote for this round. Very well done,” Celestia said, giving Zecora an approving nod. Zecora returned the princess’s gesture with a respectful bow. Twilight was perhaps a little jealous, but she was also immensely happy for Zecora. This was like Meadowbrook finding the cure for Swamp Fever. Zecora’s knowledge could help orchards across Equestria!

“She’s got my vote too!” Starlight said from back at the judges' table, making it official by holding up her green sign with Zecora’s cutie mark upon it.

The audience around the arena began to cheer, particularly those waving the green flags. Yet, even if Zecora was locked in to win the round, Twilight still had her concerns. She peered over the banister, focusing on Starswirl. She wanted to believe he’d make a sensible vote, that he wouldn’t get caught up in the particulars of the situation. She wanted to believe her mentor could see Zecora’s remedy without bias, but at the same time, she couldn’t deny her anxiety. He sat in his seat, stroking his beard, deep in thought.

“I would like to think that in the real world, Meadowbrook would see her potion was not having a lasting effect and would further diagnose the issue,” Starswirl said as his eyes moved back and forth between the two trees. “That and it would seem this issue is one that accrues over a great deal of time. I imagine if Meadowbrook had some… more up-to-date knowledge about common orchard blights, she would have known to check for this gem particulate poisoning.

“But…” Starswirl sighed and held up his green sign. “In the end, I cannot argue with the final result. I vote for Zecora as well.”

“And there you have it!” Disord cheered, rising into the air as green confetti streamed out of his sleeves. “Zecora has taken the second round, evening out the score and ensuring that we’ll at least get to see round four of our at most five-round competition. Still, is this change in momentum enough to carry Zecora to ultimate victory? Or will Meadowbrook turn things around? Well, I promise, you won’t have to wait too long. The third round begins… whenever I want it to. So, best to enjoy this intermission while it lasts.”

“Wait, Zecora, Meadowbrook.”

Fluttershy trotted behind the mares, who had left the stage to rest in their respective green rooms. Though the audience had only seen them working for minutes, they each had put hours of work into the challenge. Discord promised them time to rest, though even that would be accelerated by his time spheres. They would be allowed twelve hours to rest in the span of twelve minutes, giving them a chance to reflect on how the contest had gone so far and prepare for the next two rounds.

Now was the only chance Fluttershy had to try and talk to them both, at the same time, before they retired to their respective green rooms.

“What is it, Fluttershy?” Meadowbrook asked, she and Zecora stopping and turning to face her.

“I just…” Fluttershy took a breath to steady herself. She had planned this out in her head. She just had to follow her plan. She could feel her own social anxiety trying to get in the way, but it was only the two of them. She could say what she needed to say for the two of them, for the sake of their friendship. “Meadowbrook, can you admit that Zecora’s solution to the tree’s illness was impressive?”

Meadowbrook glanced back at Zecora. There was a tension between the two mares, and Fluttershy felt it getting only tenser, like a rubber band on the brink of snapping. Meadowbrook frowned, took in a deep breath, but then nodded her head. “Yes. When it comes to what ails flora and fauna, the more natural the remedy, the better the overall result tends to be.”

Fluttershy smiled, feeling the tension between the two lighten a little. She moved to stand a bit closer, smiling and trying to keep up an air of positivity. “And Zecora, Meadowbrook’s remedy for Rarity’s sniffles was pretty impressive too, right?”

Zecora nodded. “The potency of your potion I cannot deny. It cured Rarity in the blink of an eye.”

“So, I think you both can admit that you both are talented potion makers, and if you can admit that, there’s no real reason to keep doing this contest. I mean, you’re tied up right now. If you both agreed to stop now, it could end as a draw. Then, maybe, we could put all of this behind us.”

The two potion makers glared at one another, and Fluttershy held her breath, fearing that even an errant breath could break the possible peace she had tried to form.

Zecora was the first to speak, and she addressed Meadowbrook directly. “Your remedies are the reason I am me. Your research kept me from becoming a tree. I can agree to this contest’s end if you can offer an amend. You ousted my secret in my own hut. Such embarrassment, in front of friends, is a deep cut. An apology for the explosion I also expect. It was you that caused my home to get wrecked.”

“I can admit, I called you out on your language potion misstep in anger. For that I apologize,” Meadowbrook said sincerely, and for a moment, Fluttershy dared to believe she had talked the two mares down. Yet, Meadowbrook continued to speak, a sharp edge entering her voice. “But I am not apologizing for the explosion. Your home got damaged because a small bit of that red juniper got into your potion. If you had poured that whole bowl in, all that would have been left of us would've been our tails. I saved our lives.”

“You still doubt my experience and what I know? The red juniper was not going to blow!”

“My mama taught me that ingredient is explosive, and we saw yesterday just how true that was. Can you honestly stand there and say there wasn’t any danger?”

“I have worked with it numerous times before. I knew what was coming, what was in store,” Zecora said with a firm stomp of her hoof.

Meadowbrook grunted and threw one of her forehooves into the air. “Even if you know a way to use it so it doesn’t explode, you don’t risk using explosive ingredients when you got other ponies around. I mean, that’s what burns me up the most, especially after what I heard from Pinkie Pie about what happened to Apple Bloom.”

Fluttershy shrank back a bit. She tried to say something, to get back into the conversation, but Meadowbrook and Zecora were going at it. Each time one of them spoke, they took a step closer together. At this point, there was less than a meter separating them, and they were glaring down one another like they were ready to get into an actual hoof fight.

“That’s right, I heard about that Cutie Pox incident,” Meadowbrook said. “I am glad to hear that little filly got the help she needed, but none of that would have happened if ya hadn’t left her alone with your tools and ingredients. It was irresponsible.”

Zecora clenched her jaw, but then suddenly turned her back on Meadowbrook, her tail slapping her in the face. “I believe it is clear there is no more to say. The challenge continues, and I will defeat you this day.”

“You gonna be singing a different tune after the next round.” Meadowbrook turned around and began marching away.

“But… wait… I’m sure…” Fluttershy looked back and forth between the two mares, trying to find the right words to make them stop, but it was too late. The pair of them entered their respective green rooms, and once the doors shut Fluttershy could hear Discord’s magic pop into place. Both of them were resting now, and there was no way to get into the time-accelerated rooms. The next time she’d be able to talk to them, it would be back on stage with the crowd cheering, egging them on to continue competing.

Still, the intermission would give her a chance to meet with the girls. Hopefully, they could try and coordinate their efforts, because it seemed no single mare amongst Fluttershy and her friends would be capable of bringing Zecora and Meadowbrook together in friendship.

Author's Note

The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

Double Header

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

Twilight returned to her seat in the royal box as the intermission neared its end, plopping down onto her cushion. She sank into the soft fabric, blowing a raspberry like a deflating, irritated whoopie cushion.

“That is certainly an odd way for one to retake their seat. Did one of the concession stands run out of something you wished to purchase?”

Twilight turned her head to look at Luna, who had continued to use her magic to send out delivery orders to the businesses of Ponyville rather than depart from the royal box herself. It seemed even non-food businesses were willing to deliver, at least when the order came from the royal box.

In the time Twilight was gone, a few bouquets of flowers had been placed around the royal box, bringing splashes of color to the space. On top of that, Luna was not sitting in her seat but was instead laying on a massage table while her back was being worked on by Bulk Biceps.

“No, I didn’t even stop at the concession stands,” Twilight answered. The mere mention of food made her stomach growl, forcing her to admit she probably should have gotten something to eat while she was walking back.

“Ah, so then you are still worrying about Zecora and Mage Meadowbrook,” Luna said, wincing as a joint along her spine let out a pop under Bulk Biceps’ skilled hooves. “Oh, I think I’ve had that knot for a thousand years.”

“Fluttershy tried talking to them after the last round, and she even said she started to gain some ground, but then something Pinkie said during the contest made them get angry with each other all over again. I just know we could smooth this over if we could just talk, but being in this competitive environment is keeping them both on edge. I know you said at the start that Discord has a plan for all this, but I’ve yet to see any evidence that it’s working.”

“Sometimes plans do not truly show their benefits until they are near completion. One cannot see the true results of a cake you are baking until after it has come out of the oven and it has been frosted. Though, if… it is bothering… you… oh sweet mercy.”

Luna’s words trailed off, and Twilight was glad she was facing away from her. Twilight couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Luna’s metaphor. She couldn’t fault Luna for perhaps not noticing that modern ovens had windows in the doors, and thus you could watch a cake rise. The intention of the metaphor was not lost to Twilight, she just found it did little to ease her current state of mind.

That and Luna’s happy massage noises were distracting, and the mention of cake made Twilight’s stomach growl again. She hated to use the royal privilege card, but Twilight took one of the food delivery forms Luna had been using earlier and began looking over her options.

“I’d personally recommend the dessert sampler platter from Sugarcube Corner. It was positively delightful when I tried it.”

Twilight jumped and spun halfway around in her cushion. She caught a glimpse of Bulk Biceps hustling out the door, and for good reason. In his place, wearing a similar masseuse uniform, was Discord. He had reached out with his claw and paw, and with little effort, he popped Luna’s wings off and set them off to one side. He then began using his unique appendages to massage Luna’s back, hitting places that were otherwise obscured by her wings.

“Why, Princess Twilight Sparkle, don’t tell me I caught you off guard. Surely you didn’t think I’d go through all this effort and not come and check to see how my VIPs are doing.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure our comfort and happiness is your primary concern,” Twilight sassed as she got up from her seat and walked towards the massage table. “And put Luna’s wings back.”

Luna raised a hoof and gently waved it. “No no, this feels… marvelous… and I am sure he will put them back when he is done.” Luna turned her head slightly, glancing at Discord using her peripheral vision. “Right?”

“You have my word,” Disord said before he used his claw to press into a particular part of Luna’s back. The nearby joints on Luna’s spine popped, and Twilight watched her fall limp, like every muscle in her body had turned to jelly.

“So, why are you really up here?” Twilight asked as she watched Discord work. His claw and paw were working to rub out knots in Luna’s back, and his tail was holding a hairbrush and just running it across Luna’s coat. She hated to admit it, but it did look super relaxing.

“Well, I heard a few things through the grapevine.” Discord snapped his claw, a pot of soil appearing next to him. A grapevine rapidly crawled up and around the massage table, and with even greater speed, bore fruit. Flowers bloomed, and then those flowers swiftly changed into a few bunches of grapes. Grapes that, once ripe, grew tiny mouths.

“Princess Twilight wants to end the contest early. She and her friends are trying to get Zecora and Meadowbrook to stop arguing and call everything off,” the grapes said in unison, like a tiny chorus of tattle-telling toddlers.

“They do love to gossip,” Discord said as he began using the elbow of his lion arm to press into different parts of Luna’s back. “Still, I do wish you’d just sit back and enjoy the show. I did get Luna and Celestia’s blessing to do all this.”

“Yes, I heard how you got the permit,” Twilight said, wincing as she heard another of Luna’s joints pop. It sounded painful, but Luna’s body language practically shouted that everything Discord was doing was nothing but relaxing.

“Yes, the permit was— Ooff.” Luna’s words were cut off as her body tensed and then relaxed, driven by the small spike of pain that was usually a prelude to a tense muscle loosening up. Twilight saw Luna open her mouth a few more times to try and speak, but she failed to form any more words. Each time, Discord seemed to find another tight knot in her back to loosen up.

“Well, how would you like to know my whole plan?” Discord asked. “If you’re willing to agree to help with the next round, I’ll gladly tell you everything.”

Twilight squinted at Discord, trying to read between the lines of his offer. There had to be a catch. He was trying to tempt her in and make her agree to something that would make her look foolish. But at the same time, he sounded like he honestly had a plan. Discord had a scheme to fix a friendship problem, and Twilight couldn't deny her curiosity. She wanted to know how all this chaos would end up fixing the damaged friendship between Zecora and Meadowbrook.

“I won’t agree to anything until I hear what you want me to do,” Twilight eventually said, trying to draw more out of Discord so she could make an informed decision.

Discord began gently pounding on Luna’s back, his claw and paw changing into soft mallets as he drumrolled his way up and down her spine. It looked like it could have been painful, but Luna looked like she was lost in the pure bliss of total relaxation. She was gone, and Twilight doubted Luna would be able to put together a cohesive sentence again until well after the massage was complete.

“I want you to be one of the patients for this upcoming round,” Discord said. “Those two having to cure a princess would surely up the stakes. On top of that, for what I have planned, the very best princess for the job is you.”

“And you’ll adhere to your rulebook,” Twilight said, pointing at the hefty tome that had been delivered to the royal box during a previous round. “I read the section of patient volunteers. There is a legally iron-clad agreement that volunteers that are not cured by the contestants will be cured of any and all ailments, both those given to them for the sake of the contest as well as any other pre-existing conditions.”

“The speed at which you can read is as impressive as always, Twilight, but yes,” Discord said. “I will continue adhering to my own rulebook. That was one of the conditions for me getting that oh so special permit from your fellow princesses.”

“And I want to hear your full plan before the next round begins,” Twilight said firmly, wanting to be sure she got what she wanted before she’d let Discord pull her into his game.

Discord nodded as his paw and claw returned to normal. He reattached Luna’s wings to her back before grabbing one end of the table. With a single great heave, he flipped the table. Luna was tossed into the air, where she tumbled a few times before landing back in her seat. The table itself flipped over a few times in the air before landing back exactly where it had been. Discord then patted her surface. “Why don’t I tell you everything while I help you relax. A princess shouldn’t step onto the stage carrying so much stress.”

Part of Twilight didn’t like the idea of trusting Discord to give her a massage, but when she glanced at Luna, she saw her fellow princess looked to be in an almost zen-like state of relaxation. Discord’s massage had let her clear her mind so entirely, it looked like Luna had become one with the world. Considering how the day had gone so far, dealing with the sudden contest as well as the disruption of the checklist she had for the day, Twilight couldn’t lie to herself. She was pretty stressed.

“Back and neck only. You touch anywhere else, being turned back to stone will be the least of your worries.”

“Trixie should have known not to trust the draconequus,” Trixie said, a hint of annoyance in her voice as she lounged on her cushion just behind and to the right of the judges’ table. Starlight, Celestia, and Starswirl were still in their own seats, though Starswirl was nose deep in the contest’s rulebook and was ignoring any attempts at conversation. Still, Trixie was more than happy to focus her attention on ponies that would appreciate her, namely Starlight and Celestia. “It has been ten minutes since he flashed the lights for the intermission end. This contest should be starting back up again. He obviously doesn’t know how to run a show.”

“Do you think something’s happened?” Starlight asked.

Trixie leaned forward in her cushion, almost standing up from it entirely. “How could anything happen that he couldn’t just snap his claw to fix? A creature with his level of power has no excuse for anything going wrong in his show. He can even be in multiple places at once. You can bet that if Trixie had that level of magic she’d put on the most foalproof and stupendous magic show you’ve ever seen!”

“Discord is powerful, but if he was infallible as you suggest, Equestria would be a very different place. In fact—”

The lights flashed once and a sharp, one-note ping of a sound drew Trixie’s attention away from Celestia. Discord’s voice soon began to fill the coliseum. “Quick announcement: there will be a small delay in the next round as I have to work out a few kinks with Princess Twilight Sparkle. Isn’t that right, Princess?”

“Discord, what are you doing? Don’t let everyone hear… No… NO NO NO—” A single loud pop reached Trixie’s ears, making her wince. Even if she could not see the source of the sound, the fleshy tones reminded her of a joint popping.

Twilight’s voice was audible for a brief moment afterward, simple exhaling before she spoke. “Oh sweeeet… ssssalty… sooouuur… strawberries.”

Discord’s voice replaced Twilight as he filled the colliseum with a deep-throated chuckle. “Oh, what am I to do with these royal princesses with their royal privileges. Still, I suppose it’s better than having to work out kinks with a particular loud-mouth magician I know. Yes, an egotistical mare who, even if she did have my powers, would not be able to put on a show half as wonderful as this.”

Trixie bolted up from her cushion and moved up beside the judges’ table. “He did not just… Trixie will not suffer such insult!” she shouted, trying to ensure Discord heard her, though her shouts of anger were a bit undermined as she heard giggles beside her.

“Trixie, he’s just trying to get your goat,” Starlight said, trying to stifle her own giggles.

“Well, he’ll fail, for Trixie has no goat to get! And I shall prove it by marching up to him and giving him a piece of my mind.” Trixie turned and started marching away.

“He could be anywhere in the coliseum,” Starlight shouted from behind Trixie.

Trixie stopped walking briefly, unable to deny it was difficult to give Discord a good verbal thrashing if she didn’t know where he was. There was, however, another announcement bing.

“And should any over-blown magicians wish to find me, I am currently located in the royal box.”

Trixie smiled. Discord was just begging for it now, and she was going to deliver. She quickly broke into a trot, barely even hearing Starlight’s voice and certainly not processing any warnings as she began heading towards the royal box. Besides, it was too tempting of an opportunity. She could chew out Discord and mock Twilight for having her massage audio briefly broadcast to everyone in the coliseum.

How could anything go wrong?

“I can’t believe you didn’t realize he was trying to get you up to the royal box,” Twilight groaned.

Trixie huffed and tried to bat at a bit of her mane. “Well, Trixie could not have foreseen the depths of Discord’s plan.”

“He goaded you like a school-age filly. His plan was about as shallow as a bird bath.”

“Oh, be quiet, Twilight Sparkle. You are just as guilty of being suckered by Discord as Trixie is.”

“I… well… I can’t argue with that, but you made it ten times worse. If you didn’t show up, he might have done this to me and Luna. But nooooo… now I’m stuck as the patient of the third round with you.”

Fluttershy stood just a bit bewildered by what she was seeing, looking at Twilight and Trixie… or what was Twilight and Trixie, from her proper place just outside Zecora’s lab. The third round had begun, and Discord had declared it a double header. There were two ailments to be cured at once. The whole contest could end with the third round if Zecora or Meadowbrook were able to cure both conditions first.

To add even more tension, who cured the ailments first mattered. The strange disease Discord had either dredged or cooked up basically meant Zecora and Meadowbrook were sharing a single patient even if they were each in their own isolated potion lab.

“Idiosyncratic Mind/Body Entangled Compression via Interpersonal Locus Egocentricity,” was the name of the disease that was the central focus of the third round. Discord called it “I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E” for short, and Fluttershy didn’t doubt he had come up with that acronym just to torment Twilight a little. Yet, despite the humorous name, the disease itself was no joke.

Though there was only one physical patient sitting in Zecora’s lab, that patient was both Twilight and Trixie at the same time. Splotches of color moved across their shared body like globs of goo. On some patches of the mares’ body, Fluttershy could see Twilight’s purple fur. On others, she could see Trixie’s blue coat.

The closest analogy Fluttershy could think of was the live demo lava lamps she saw at the party store the few times she went there with friends. It was like Twilight was the clear liquid, and there were big blobs of Trixie that just moved and oozed around her body, following no rhyme or reason.

And from what Fluttershy understood, Meadowbrook had the exact opposite over in her potion lab. She had a Trixie with blobs of Twilight moving around. Only one part was consistent. The area around the muzzle was always Trixie’s, even as Twilight’s worlds spilled out of it. Despite being separated into each lab, Trixie and Twilight were able to bicker with one another as if they were sitting face to face.

Looking away from Twilight and Trixie – or was Twilixie more accurate? – looking away from them, Fluttershy focused on Zecora. She had finished getting some things from the supply closet and was carrying her basket back towards her patient. “Have you ever seen anything like this before, Zecora?”

“Something like this, most certainly not. This is unlike any illness I’ve ever fought.” Zecora set down her basket and began to rummage around inside. “I’d even bet this is a new creation, some strange chaotic fabrication. But it is fed by magic, that remains true. I’m sure I’ll figure out what to do.”

“I imagine it wouldn’t really be fair if Discord made something you couldn’t cure, but where do you even start?” Fluttershy asked.

“There are two conditions that must be fixed, one of which of course is their bodies are mixed,” Zecora said as she gestured to Trixie and Twilight. “They are both here, yet here they are not. Their strange mixed-positions is one battle to be fought. The other tries to hide, but I see it clear as day. Tell me, did you notice it when they had something to say?”

Fluttershy cocked her head and looked back at Twilixie. She honestly couldn’t think of anything she noticed out of the ordinary, besides the obvious. Still, she watched as Twilight and Trixie, in their mixed form, argued with one another. Yet, there was something wrong… something that was uncanny. It was something about the way they were talking.

“Wait, Trixie’s voice is coming out of Twilight’s mouth,” Fluttershy said, raising a forehoof and pointing at Twilixie’s head.

Zecora smiled and nodded her head. “Fluttershy, you are perfectly correct. The second illness you were able to detect. Before they were placed in this strange mixed-position, Twilight and Trixie had a swap in cognition. A magician now has a princessly form, while a princess is keeping a magician’s body warm.”

“Wait… I’ve got Twilight’s body?!” The parts of the mixed body that was Twilight’s started to move, leading to a strange sight of the mixed form fighting itself briefly before it was finally able to touch its own back. It was gently poking at Twilight’s wings, which in the shared form was mixed with Trixie’s cape.

“Trixie can feel the wings! Trixie is a princess!”

“Oh, no you are not!” Twilight said firmly. The part of the mixed form she controlled tried to stomp a hoof, but only managed to wave a forehoof around awkwardly. “That’s my body.”

“Well, from what Trixie has heard, possession is nine-tenths of the law.”

“No, proper ownership is ten-tenths of the law! And yes… yes, that’s what we just said. Zecora helped us realize our minds are swapped.”

Fluttershy cocked her head to one side as she looked at Twilixie. “Wait, Twilight, who are you talking to?”

“Pinkie Pie and Meadowbrook,” Twilight said using Trixie’s mouth. “I can see them too… out of one eye… some of the time… It’s confusing and hard to describe.”

“Doesn’t that mean we just helped Meadowbrook?” Fluttershy asked as she looked as Zecora.

Zecora nodded as she used a hoof to point to part of Twilixie’s body. A blob of their shifting mixed reality was slowly moving up a foreleg. Through the blob, Zecora could see Trixie’s leg instead of Twilight’s; there was also a visible white substance that had been painted on the leg of Trixie’s body. Zecora gently touched the cream with a hoof, brought it to her nose, and took a brief sniff.

“That cream was applied by Meadowbrook not seconds ago. She is testing to see if the body’s magic has an unusual flow. Every test we perform, if not done with absolute haste, will be shared with our rival and possibly defaced.”

“You don’t really think Meadowbrook would sabotage your test, do you?” Fluttershy asked before she brought a hoof to cover her mouth. “You aren’t considering sabotaging Meadowbrook’s test, are you, Zecora?”

“If Trixie was in your hooves, Trixie would surely do it. This is a contest, and to prove yourself the best, you have to be willing to go the extra mile.”

Twilight rolled the eyes of the body she controlled. “Going the extra mile usually means putting in the extra effort to be your absolute best, not messing with somepony else’s work. I promise I would never cheat in a situation like this.”

The eyes of Twilight’s body, which Trixie controlled, went cross-eyed for a moment as Trixie tried to glare at herself, and thus at Twilight. “You cheated in a situation exactly like this when you tricked Trixie out of the alicorn amulet using a doorstop!”

“That was different,” Twilight argued.

“No, it was not!”

Trixie and Twilight were soon bickering at one another in full force again, and Fluttershy did her best to tune them out as she looked over at Zecora. “You aren’t going to… try and mess with Meadowbrook, are you?” Fluttershy couldn’t help but worry. If the pair of them actively sabotaged one another, that could easily doom them to never be friends. Any budding hope of them making up and being able to get along would be smashed to pieces.

Zecora looked at Fluttershy a moment, her face creased in heavy thought, but then she smiled. “No, I most surely would not stoop so low. To my own pride, I’d take too heavy a blow. And if Meadowbrook does cheat to win, then that will be fine. I’ll know I kept my personal standards when everything was on the line.”

Fluttershy smiled. She wanted to hug Zecora so much, but she couldn’t cross the boundary into the potion lab. So she did the best she could, offering Zecora a brief hoof bump. Zecora did not leave her hanging, their hooves bumping together briefly before Zecora went back to preparing her own tests.

The round continued, tests being applied and experiments being done. Meadowbrook couldn’t deny, she was well out of her usual depth. This was something she’d normally trust Stygian or Starswirl to figure out. Still, despite the difficulty, progress was being made… though so far it felt like it was because of her and Zecora’s combined efforts.

They were each running different tests, pursuing different paths of possibility. From what they revealed, it seemed this whole condition was being caused directly by Discord’s chaotic magic, and dispelling that magic was no small feat. That, and looking back at her patients, Meadowbrook couldn’t deny the pit that was forming in her stomach.

Twilight and Trixie’s condition seemed to be deteriorating.

While the pair had argued with little pause for the first half-hour, they began to grow quieter after that. Some lackluster insults were tossed after that, but now the fused mares needed to lie down on the cushion they had been given. Their coats were getting pale in color, and the swimming bubbles of reality that swapped their bodies were getting smaller, faster, and growing in number.

It was like their strange, entangled existence was starting to boil, forcing them to mix together more and more. If it wasn’t stopped, Meadowbrook feared there would be no separating the two mares. They would simply become a single pony, the homogenous mixture of themselves.

“Oh… maybe you should put them in ice water, would that help? Or maybe they need a hot soak? Or maybe they need just room temperature water. Or maybe no water at all… can a pony bathe in fire?”

Meadowbrook looked to the other side of her provided potion lab’s counter, where Pinkie had been pacing endlessly since Twilixie had been forced to lie down. All her snacks were depleted, the many wrappers littering the path she had chosen to pace. Meadowbrook couldn’t fault Pinkie. She knew that the energetic pony just wanted to help her friend, and the only reason she wasn’t was out of respect for the rules. Still, it was hard to tune out her endless string of suggestions.

“Pinkie, please, don’t make me glue your hooves to the floor,” Meadowbrook said firmly, her patience having run its course. She couldn’t help but grunt as she saw the results of her latest test take shape. Two dozen different test tubes, to which she had added samples of Twilixie’s hair, had all reacted the same way: they all changed the same blue color, meaning the several dozen things she had been testing for were all inconclusive.

“Well, that was as useful as trying to teach flash bees to line dance,” Meadowbrook said as she pushed the test tubes off to one side. She turned and looked back at Twilixie, feeling herself running up against her own inexperience. If she had all the time in the world, she could be more methodical with her tests, but she didn’t have time for that. Even if this wasn’t a contest, Twilight and Trixie’s ever-worsening condition would mean she had to work fast.

As Meadowbrook watched her, just trying to think, she saw Twilixie shift and move on her cushion. She coughed, covering her mouth with her hoof, and then sank back into her cushion with an exhausted, sore groan. While this behavior was not out of the ordinary for somepony who was ill, Meadowbrook saw something in that behavior that made her concerns multiply.

It had all been in perfect sync.

Up until that point, Trixie and Twilight had struggled against one another. One would want to cough, but the other wouldn’t. One would want to move a hoof, the other would want to move it the other way. It was kind of like watching two ponies who were trying to compete in a seven-legged race who weren’t good at cooperating. But what Meadowbrook had just seen had happened in perfect sync with almost no hesitation or oddity in the movement.

“Ow! Hey, don’t shout!” Twilixie said, their voices in perfect unison. “Okay, okay, I’ll say it.”

Twilixie sat up a bit on her cushion, looking over at Meadowbrook. “Zecora wanted me to pass on a message. She says she just did a test with a… what was it again?” Twilixie paused and looked away from Meadowbrook. She couldn’t be sure, but Meadowbrook was pretty positive that, at that moment, Zecora was talking to the Twilixie in her own lab. And after the moment had passed, Twilixie focused back on Meadowbrook. “She did a test with star-leafed leach vines.”

It was like she was struck by lightning. Leach vines, as the name implied, tended to leach what they needed from other plants. Star-leafed leach vines were particularly special because they drew magic out of anything they could latch onto. If this condition was caused by magic, and the magic had to exist to maintain it, then drawing the magic out of the illness could break it.

“But isn’t she worried about it draining away y’all’s magic?” Meadowbrook asked, and it was a message Twilixie repeated as her gaze wandered. Based on where Twilixie was looking, it seemed like Zecora was standing just a few steps to the right relative to Twilixie. It was like the pair of them was standing shoulder to shoulder.

“She is,” Twilixie answered. “She’s wondering if you know a way to make the vine only drink the magic causing this… illness.”

Meadowbrook turned her head. She did her best thinking when she could focus on what she was thinking about, and at the moment the target of her stare was the inventory cabinet. “Those magic-sucking vines Zecora wants to use can be trained to only drink certain kinds of magic. Mistmane used them to drain dark magic out of the soil around a cursed town once. It was something about trimming the vines based on their color. I… I don’t remember it all.”

“But can you remember it enough to figure it out?” Pinkie asked, standing on the very tips of her hooves as she tried to get as close to Meadowbrook as she could while still not crossing the line and actually entering the potion lab.

“I… I think so, but if I was going to do this right, I’d put a vine on each copy of you. We want to drain the chaos magic from both ends, otherwise the imbalance could cause more problems.”

“She says she knows a way to do it, but she doesn’t remember it one hundred percent. That and she says you’d both have to do it at the same time, otherwise it might make things worse.” Twilixie repeated, looking once more into empty space before focusing back on Meadowbrook. “Zecora says she’s willing to work with you.”

“Okay, then tell her to get a one-year-old Star-Leaf Leach Vine from her cabinet as well as some clippers and, if she can, some bottles of magic-infused water for unicorn, pegasus, earth pony, and Discord’s magic. I’ll walk her through the training process while I do my own. Also, tell her… I’m glad she told me about the leach vines. I’ll admit, I was stuck. I don’t think I would have thought to try the vines.”

“The sparkling, royal, great, powerful, and not-feeling-very-good me will pass along your appreciation,” Twilixie said before laying her head back down. “Also, the organizer in me suggests you two get magically linked books or something out of the inventory cabinet. I don’t think I can keep up this mare-in-the-middle act very long.”

The moment of truth arrived as Zecora set the potted star-leafed leach vine down next to Twilixie’s body. She and Meadowbrook had just spent two hours training their respective plants using bottled magical essences and a great deal of patience. The vines usually were greedy to eat any kind of magic, and normally sported a rainbow of different colored tendrils. The process of training them to only eat chaos magic involved feeding them chaos magic along with other kinds and slowly pruning away specific colors of tendrils. Meadowbrook didn’t remember which colors represented which types of magic, but through their mutual trial and error, they had done it.

The leach vine Zecora had just placed was a bright cyan color, and almost as soon as it had been put down, its tendrils had begun reaching for Twilixie. Taking a few steps back, Zecora left Fluttershy to watch the plant for just a moment as she returned to a counter littered with vine trimmings. Once there, she picked up a quill and began writing in a nearby book. She and Meadowbrook had taken Twilixie’s suggestion and managed to get a pair of magically linked books from the inventory cabinets.

“My vine is in place, and it is already eager to grow. If this path is correct, we shall soon surely know,” Zecora wrote into her book.

Within moments, the book’s page began to glow as letters began to appear. Meadowbrook was writing back. “I’m sure it is. Mine’s growing like a weed over here, and if I’m not mistaken, it sure looks like it’s already helping. Those bubbles where I can see one mare instead of the other are starting to get bigger again. That boiling effect is going down.”

Zecora glanced over at her own Twilixie. “Yes,” she wrote onto the page. “It does look like the effect is already cooling. I believe we have an answer to this challenge most grueling.”

“Couldn’t have done it if you hadn’t thought to try using a leach vine. You and my ma would have gotten along famously. She would have loved how you used them beetles to help those trees.”

Zecora smiled a bit. “I am sure she would be just as proud of you. I cannot deny, your unsniffle elixir was an excellent brew. That and your experience with the legends of old has given you knowledge and insight untold. My idea, I would not have been able to pursue, or I would have risked their magic as the vine grew.”

The page glowed once more as Meadowbrook’s reply manifested. “I’m sure you would have figured it out.”

“Oh… what happened?”

Zecora glanced up from the messaging book and smiled as she saw a regular, unicorn mare sitting in her potion lab. The plant was acting quickly, greedily eating away at the chaos magic as it grew in size. Though there were still a few shifting, rolling splotches of purple, the mare that was sitting in Zecora’s potion lab was mostly a blue unicorn.

“Oh, I was so worried,” Fluttershy said. She was unable to help herself and crossed into the lab to give Trixie’s body a hug.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy, I’m feeling much better… though… it looks like Trixie still has my body.”

Zecora chuckled as she walked over beside her vastly improved patient. “I think this issue we can easily address. So please, do not be in distress.”

The vine began to loosen its grip on Trixie’s body, allowing Twilight to pull the body away from the vines and stand up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I just… feel a little shorter than I’m used to… and how in the world does she stand wearing this cape so often?”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle a moment. “I’m sorry, but it’s funny hearing Trixie’s voice saying that.”

“Oh, you would laugh at The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Twilight said, changing her turn of phrase so her condition created a truly convincing impersonation. “Well then, watch in amazement as I demonstrate that the only thing greater than my magic tricks is my stage presence, especially when I see the whole world as my stage.”

Zecora couldn’t help herself and enjoyed a good laugh. It was part of the reason why she worked so hard and enjoyed being a potion maker so much. Sometimes it was hard, but it always felt good being able to help somepony, especially when it was something so difficult to fix.

Still, as Twilight and Fluttershy continued to talk, Zecora heard the messaging book vibrating. Meadowbrook had written another message. Zecora trotted over to the book and looked to the page to see what was written.

“Kill the plant! Don’t let it touch the bubble!”

Zecora was confused for a moment but then heard a yelp from Fluttershy. Turning her head in that direction, she could see Fluttershy and the Trixie-bodied Twilight backing away from the leach vine. With the supply of chaos magic in Trixie’s body all depleted, it had gone searching for another source. It found that other source in the temporal bubble that surrounded the potion lab. And in the few brief seconds it had touched and fed on that bubble, it had nearly doubled in size.

Grabbing a knife she had been using, Zecora rushed toward the vines and tried to cut it off at its roots, but the vines reacted to the threat. Tendrils shot out at her, knocking her back and sending the knife clattering against the floor.

Zecora picked herself up off the floor, looking in the direction of the vine. Twilight was trying to blast it with magic, but being in Trixie’s body, she was unable to muster more than a small, ineffective beam attack. Fluttershy tried talking sweetly with the vines, but they only lashed out at her like whips. And all the while the vine continued to grow in size as it fed on the magic of the temporal bubble.

“We have to stop it. Draining any kind of time spell of its magical energy while it’s active could have devastating consequences,” Twilight shouted.

“What kind of consequences?” Fluttershy asked, even as she hid behind the Twilight-controlled body of Trixie.

“Mid-life crisis while going through puberty. Being a baby with arthritis and osteoporosis. Dying while also being born!”

“None of that will come to pass,” Zecora said firmly as she moved up beside the other two mares. “We can stop this overgrown crabgrass.”

Twilight tried once more to blast the vines with little effect. “How?”

“Hold it at bay. Do not let it near. The inventory cabinet must remain clear.” Zecora turned and rushed to the cabinet and threw open the doors. The Discord clone inside looked to her, then looked to the vine, and then looked back at her as if it was all just business as usual.

“What is your request?”

“I require nothing less than a plague, but not of fire or itchy leg. I need locusts, a ravenous
swarm, but they must do as I inform.”

The inventory clerk Discord nodded and disappeared into the warehouse for a moment. Glancing back over her shoulder, Zecora saw the plant was still growing, and that the dome itself was changing in hue and brightness. Hearing footsteps in front of her, Zecora looked back to the cabinet to see the inventory clerk Discord return.

“Here you are,” he said, presenting a small whistle to Zecora. “Blow on it, speak your orders, and keep the cabinet door open.”

Zecora snatched the whistle in her teeth and turned to face the vine. She blew on it, the whistle making a shrill, ear-splitting sound. Still, she endured it as she heard the buzzing of wings from just behind her. She then spit the whistle into her hoof before speaking. “Devour the vine, eat every last bite. Then return to your home when you end the fight.”

A swarm of locusts surged out of the inventory cabinet, swirling past Zecora, past Fluttershy, and past Twilight before bouncing on the vine. The mares could hear the sound of the insects eating, and the mass of the vine was quickly shrinking away as it was devoured. The vine tried to whip at the bugs, but there simply were too many of them. In less than a minute, the leach vine was gone, and with their task complete, the locusts flew back into the inventory cabinet.

“Is everyone okay?” Fluttershy asked, slowly glancing around the potion lab.

“No harm was done, I am all right. My heart just races from the fright,” Zecora said.

“I’m okay, all things considered,” Twilight said. “Good thinking with the locusts, Zecora. Now, can we get back to putting me back in my own head?”

Zecora opened her mouth to assure Twilight they would get her brain back where it belonged, but before a single syllable could pass her lips, she noticed a flicker. Looking straight up, Zecora saw it was the temporal bubble. It flickered, crackled, faltered, and after a few brief moments, it outright popped.

Zecora could see the whole coliseum again, and that included Meadowbrook’s lab. Their bubble was gone as well. Meadowbrook and Twilight’s Trixie-inhabited body stood next to a pile of shattered ice, and Pinkie Pie stood on top of that pile holding a hammer. Pinkie was breathing heavily, and if Zecora wasn’t mistaken, she could see little bits of plant material inside all of the ice. To her, it looked like their vine had gone out of control as well, and they had resorted to freezing and smashing it to stop it.

Yet, that was not the most peculiar thing. The most peculiar thing was the silence. The coliseum should have been loud, with ponies cheering or jeering. Yet all was still, all was silent. The coliseum was still packed. Zecora could see the audience’s seats were filled to the brim with ponies, and the judges were still seated at their table. Discord was even there, floating above the stage, but no one, not even the spirit of chaos, was moving.

Something was horribly wrong.

Author's Note

The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

The Final Problem

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

“Perhaps the spheres were creating a parallel dimensional space where time was working faster… if I could… no, that wouldn’t work… because the failure of the domes should have flung us then into a dimensional fracture… we got back, so that couldn’t have been it. Maybe I can leverage what I know about Starlight’s time spell. Maybe the root principles...”

When facing a really hard problem, Twilight knew she had a tendency to talk out loud. It had helped on occasion, where uttering a random thought would let some other part of her brain latch onto it. She could work in silence, yes, but then the silence would surround and engulf them.

The graveyard quality silence, if not kept at bay, would have been like an all-consuming madness.

The temporal spheres that had contained her, Meadowbrook, Zecora, Trixie, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie had collapsed about an hour prior, and yet the world had not changed in any manner that Twilight was able to discern. The audience members were still as statues. Their faces were frozen mid-cheer, mid-laugh, and even mid-bite. Flags that had been waved out in support of the audience members’ favored contestant did not fidget in the slightest, as if the fabric was caught in a sudden deep freeze.

The judges were no different, except that perhaps their expressions were ones of worry. Starswirl, Celestia, and Starlight had all been in the process of standing up. Their eyes were fixed on where the temporal bubbles had once been. Celestia’s lips were peeled back, her teeth bared. She had been caught mid-syllable. Pinkie had rattled off earlier that perhaps the princess had been trying to shout “Discord,” and she had only managed to get as far as “Dis.” Twilight personally didn’t believe that knowing the definitive answer to the question “what was Celestia saying” would do them any good.

Discord himself was floating above the center of the stage. His eyes were on the audience, his lion paw and eagle claw above his head. Fireworks had been shooting out of his fingertips, the sparkles now frozen in the air just like everything else. Twilight couldn’t deny, it annoyed her a little bit that he seemed to be so wrapped up in entertaining the crowd, signaling the dramatic end to his contest, that he didn’t notice the temporal bubbles failing. Fluttershy had defended Discord, saying it probably caught him off guard. Whether or not Discord had noticed the failure was debatable, but Twilight doubted anyone would disagree on the fact that Discord had let things get out of control.

Discord, the judges, the audience, and everything else was frozen in time. Even the world beyond the coliseum was equally frozen. Zecora and Fluttershy had gone to their respective forest homes but had found no change in the situation.

So what had happened to them? That was the puzzle Twilight found herself facing. She was using magic to project an ethereal chalkboard, and was using it to work through numerous theories of not only what happened to them, but how they might escape their current predicament. Her constant, comprehensive calculations manifested as numerous diagrams and formulas on the ethereal chalkboard. But even as Twilight contemplated a freshly drawn formula, something about the magic spell created an irritating itch in her brain.

The spell writing was hers. The spell drawing was hers. Yet, as Twilight looked at all her work, it did not shimmer and glow in a pleasant purple. No, instead the magic’s natural color was a pale blue.

Twilight still found herself in Trixie’s body, the last traces of the I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease keeping her and Trixie’s minds swapped.

The thought of Trixie made Twilight take a moment to look away from her work to check on the others. Trixie, Pinkie, and Fluttershy were working to clear the last of the frozen star-leaf leach vines from Meadowbrook’s lab. Trixie seemed to be behaving, but Twilight couldn’t deny a deep suspicion that, when she wasn’t looking, Trixie was striking silly poses and practicing silly princess walks.

Still, the fact they were able to interact with the labs at all hinted at the strangeness of the situation. Twilight had done some modestly thorough initial research into what they could and could not do in their present states. They could do anything in the labs, using them as normal. However, while they could reach out and touch things frozen in time, they could not manipulate them. This raised the question of how they were even alive. How could they be breathing frozen air, or move through it?

Those were two questions Twilight had written on the chalkboard to help remind herself of them, though they were fairly low on the prioritized list. Of course, Twilight ensured “How do we escape?” stayed at the very top. It was also underlined, circled, and highlighted. It was the most important question, after all.

Sitting up straighter in her sitting cushion, Twilight took in a deep breath as she stretched and tried to release some of the tension in her body before letting her eyes wander to Zecora’s potion lab. There, Meadowbrook was offering some assistance. She had a working theory that one means of escape would be to restore power to the temporal bubbles. It was a sound idea, but so far, Meadowbrook’s experiments in cooking up chaos magic to feed to the bubbles had been largely fruitless.

It would have been much easier if they could have asked the clerks in the supply cabinets for samples of chaos magic, but that was something else that had annoyingly changed. Looking to the cabinet, Twilight reconfirmed for herself that the clerks had vanished. She and the others could still open and access the vast stores of supplies in the cabinets, but without a copy of Discord to be the clerk, it was like the ruins of some long past civilization of hoarders.

While Twilight was looking at Meadowbrook and the green potion lab, she noticed Meadowbrook turn and glance at the supply cabinet. A few moments later, Twilight was able to tell why. Zecora, who had been given the duty of exploring the space within the cabinets, had just emerged.

Though, Twilight quickly found herself writing a new question on the board. Zecora had originally stepped into the endless warehouse through the cabinet in the red potion lab assigned to Meadowbrook. She came out the other cabinet in her own green lab.

“How did you manage to come out over here?” Meadowbrook asked, voicing the very question Twilight had been writing down at the bottom of her priority list. That was one thing she appreciated about the situation. Twilight felt like they had a much better chance of escaping because she could work with not one but two brilliant potion makers. She might have preferred Starswirl, but that was because he was amazing. Still, Twilight turned back to looking at the green potion lab, wanting to hear the answer Zecora would hopefully give.

“Retelling the path I took is beyond me, I fear. I simply cannot explain how I got from there to here.” Zecora picked one of the boxes off the pushcart, passing it to Meadowbrook. She, in turn, got to work stacking the boxes just away from the cabinet’s door, the pair of them forming a two-pony box brigade. “Still, my journey was not in vain. I bring supplies, including as much food as I could obtain.”

“Food!? Finally! The Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie is starving!”

Twilight’s ears flattened as even those few words formed a spike of annoyance that stabbed her in the brain. Though the words were spoken in Twilight’s voice and came from Twilight’s body, there was no denying the intonation of Trixie behind them. Trixie happily abandoned what she was doing, leaped into the air, and then shakily glided the short gap from one potion lab to the other. She then quickly began helping herself to one of the boxes, rummaging around inside and setting its contents out on the nearest available counter space. She was not unlike a young filly raiding a family grocery run for her favored box of colorful cereal.

“Ooo… peanut butter… jelly… tell me you found bread. I would put on a great and powerful performance for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich… even just peanut butter and crackers would be divine.”

“Bread I did find, though not in loaf nor sliced form.” Zecora passed another box to Meadowbrook but took a moment to poke her head inside. She pulled out a square pan and set it down on the counter next to Trixie. “I found this cornbread, fresh and oven warm.”

“Cornbread… peanut butter… and jelly sandwiches.” Trixie rolled the words around in her mouth, acting like she had taken a bite of the concoction and was on the verge of spitting it out. For the moment, Twilight had to agree that it didn’t sound very appetizing to her either.

“Well… cornbread is like bread. Perhaps I, The Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie can use her mighty alicorn magic to turn it into sliced bread.”

Twilight began rising from her seat. No! No, Trixie wasn’t going to actually try a transformation spell. Yes, turning bread into another kind of bread should have been easy. Yet, Twilight watched in growing horror as Trixie charged the magic of the spell.

With a gentle pop, the cornbread disappeared and became a teacup.

“Trixie! What did I say about using my magic!?” Twilight shouted, settling back down onto her cushion now that the pending crisis she feared could have formed became an annoying false alarm.

Trixie looked over and met Twilight's annoyed glare with one of her own.

“How is it fair that you get to use Trixie’s magic while you forbid me, the Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie, from using even a drop of your magic? It is simply unfit for royalty to have to do everything with hooves.”

Twilight used a hoof to gesture at her chalkboard. “I’m using your magic for a very simple visual aid spell. It is a spell I know very well and is well within your capabilities as a unicorn. You don’t know how to properly cast a transfiguration spell. On top of that, you don’t know how my alicorn magic works! Any spells that aren’t cast properly run the risk of backfiring, and if alicorn magic backfires, who knows what will happen? That is why you shouldn’t be using my magic.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I shouldn’t do something like this?” Trixie turned her head, calling on the magic in Twilight’s horn. Meadowbrook quickly had to step back as the telltale glow of a levitation spell enshrouded the boxes she and Zecora had been moving. Swiftly, the boxes flew out to the center of the area, stacking themselves neatly in a very stable, if slightly off-kilter, configuration.

“See, Trixie can levitate things just fine,” Trixie said, putting on a smug smile and gesturing to the boxes as if she had just made them all appear out of thin air.

“Trixie, that’s my body, and I don’t want you using my magic.” Twilight turned to resume work on her diagrams and formula. “Please respect that.”

Twilight expected it to be done after that. She heard the sound of Trixie walking with stomping steps. Twilight listened to them but began to notice the sound wasn’t moving the way she expected. It wasn’t going from one lab to another. It instead sounded like Trixie was getting closer.

“Well then, Trixie says you can’t use her magic either.”

That was the only warning Trixie gave before Twilight’s vision was suddenly invaded by the hoof of her own body. A hoof that crossed in front of her face, took a gentle grip of the horn on Trixie’s body, and then flicked it. Twilight slammed her eyes shut as she felt the sharp, vibrating pain lance into her brain. A flicked horn would never cause permanent damage, but the act of flicking almost always resulted in two things. A brief but notable pain for the spell caster, and an interruption in the spell caster’s magic.

Forcing her eyes open, Twilight looked to where her ethereal chalkboard had been, only to see nothing but empty air. Her face quickly distorted into one of panic. “No! I was so close to…”

“What? Getting frustrated and erasing it all for the fifth time!” Trixie snapped. “Face it, Sparkle! You don’t know any more of what’s going on in here than the rest of us!”

Twilight turned to glare at Trixie. “First, I never erased it all. I erased what I knew wasn’t going to work. Second, I’d like to see you do any better!”

She knew there was no point in arguing with Trixie. She should have just recast the chalkboard spell and tried to rewrite what aspects of her diagrams she could remember, but… she was getting stressed and Trixie’s antics were not helping. It was becoming easier to lash out as a single, sinking feeling of dread settled into the air the longer they were trapped.

What if they couldn’t fix this? What if they were trapped in a frozen world for days, weeks, months? If Twilight wasn’t engaged in a fierce argument with Trixie, the thought could have easily sent a chill down her spine. What if she and her friends, and Trixie, were trapped here like the pillars of Equestria had been trapped when they sealed the Pony of Shadows? Worse, how would they survive in a limbo where time could possibly move forward for them even as the rest of the world was frozen?

Were they destined to live out the rest of their lives in this new limbo?

Zecora settled into one of the available cushion seats, happy to get off her hooves after exploring the vastness of the supply closets for so long. She, along with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Meadowbrook, were seated on the floor inside the red potion lab, which the group as a whole had agreed would become their meal kitchen while the green lab would be left dedicated to potions, in case they came to a realization about a potion that would help them escape their current predicament.

Zecora noticed that Trixie and Twilight were absent, though they were not hard to find. Turning her head slightly, Zecora could see Twilight focusing on her diagrams and equations, even choosing to ignore the call for dinner. She just sat in the center of the stage, still writing and rewriting on her chalkboard spell, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

To a passerby, Twilight might have just looked focused, but Zecora could tell her frustration with the problem was building. Zecora could see Twilight’s equations were becoming more haphazardly written. Her diagrams had less clean lines. Zecora felt like she was watching the tides of a war, a brutal conflict between Twilight’s intelligence and patience against the complex problem that was their situation.

From what Zecora could see, it did not seem to be a battle Twilight was winning.

Turning away from Twilight, Zecora tried to refocus on her meal. It was simple, but its sweet and savory aromas teased the senses. There were some steamed and seasoned bits of cauliflower, and some freshly washed strawberries with the stems trimmed. Though Zecora believed it was usually considered a side dish, the main course of the meal was a heaping helping of fried rice with sliced carrots, peas, and green onions.

It was not a meal combination Zecora could say she had ever had before, but the warmth and care put into the meal was already helping to wash away her exhaustion. She shifted in her cushion from a sitting to a lying position, intending to take her first bite of the fried rice.

“Why yes, Princess Luna. I’m sure I, the Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie could put on a spectacular magic show for you. I mean, I am a master of illusion. Some of my most recent tricks are so astounding, even Twilight can’t figure them out. Then again, she’s sure having trouble figuring out Discord’s trick, isn’t she? I’d maybe go back and double-check some of her magic school tests. Trixie would surely not say anything out loud, but Trixie can’t deny her suspicions either.”

Zecora winced, flicking her gaze upward so she could glare at the royal box. That was where Trixie had flown off too, taking her meal with her. After her last argument with Twilight, it seemed that Trixie was content to brood from her lofty perch. Trixie did not, however, seem at all content to suffer in silence. Zecora could not discern a rhyme or reason to it all: with little warning, Trixie would just start projecting her voice so that it reverberated across the coliseum. It would always be some made up conversation with Luna, and even as Zecora finally took the first bite of her meal, Trixie began another performance.

Zecora knew that Trixie’s behavior was simply an overdramatic way to insult Twilight, and not the first buddings of insanity. Twilight had also yet to answer Trixie back, though Zecora wasn’t sure whether or not to be grateful or annoyed. Twilight’s silence ensured Trixie wasn’t encouraged to continue her rather juvenile behavior. At the same time, Zecora couldn’t help but wonder if it was Twilight’s mental fortitude or her magic that let her keep such a cool composure. If she had cast some spell to ensure she could not even hear Trixie’s voice, Zecora found it a bit cruel that they had had to suffer Trixie’s overdramatic, aggressive performances while Twilight possibly remained blissfully unaware.

“So, this is some… good food, right?”

Zecora looked at Pinkie Pie, who had spoken up as the last echoes of Trixie’s most recent tirade faded. This was the fourth, no the fifth, conversation Pinkie had tried to start while the four of them had been eating. Some conversation had gotten off the ground, but so far, all had been doomed to be interrupted by Trixie. Still, if they did not talk, then the only sounds that remained would be that of them chewing and fussing with their plates.

So, like all the times before, Zecora was happy to engage with Pinkie and her attempt at conversation, even if it was fated to be short. “You surely did grandly with the supplies. Appetizer, Entree, and well-portioned sides. Though what do you still have in the oven, over its fire? Its sweet aroma sings to me like a choir.”

“I’m just trying to make some dessert bars,” Pinkie answered. “I may be improvising a little with the recipe, but they sure are smelling good. Just have to let it get a little bit warmer and a little more gooey so the bars take shape.”

“I am sure they will be divine, the best enjoyed by any equine.”

Pinkie waved a hoof. “Thanks, but I know they won’t be that good. I mean, the ingredients don’t quite go together, but it’s not going to be bad. It’s not like the time I tried switching around the amount of salt and sugar in a recipe.” She visibly shivered. “That was like biting into a pie baked out of beach sand. Still, even a kind-of-good dessert is better than no dessert, right?”

Zecora nodded, grinning at the unexpected pearl of wisdom that Pinkie had tossed into the conversation.“In every life some dessert should exist, a treat that we simply cannot resist. Maybe it’s a slice of pie with an ice cream scoop. Perhaps it is simply spending time with friends in a group. A simple moment of joy, with its sweet embrace, carries with it surely some divine grace. While dessert cannot be enjoyed all the time, to deny yourself forever is a crime.”

Zecora finished, having closed her eyes for the last few lines of her rhymes. When she opened them again, her gaze was met with a bit of an unexpected sight. Pinkie Pie was staring straight at her, with big, attentive, excited eyes. Her grin reached from ear to ear, and for a few moments, she just kept staring. Zecora began wondering if something had happened, if the dinner had somehow poisoned Pinkie, when finally Ponyville’s party pony spoke.

“That… was the best piece of super cool rhyming wisdom I’ve ever heard about dessert.” Pinkie leaned forward in her cushion. “Do one about frosting.”

“Now, I don’t think we need to be expecting Zecora to rattle off her rhymes to entertain us for dinner,” Meadowbrook said with a chuckle. “Though, guess you’ve gone and showed me up on that, too. I’ve heard of ponies messing up language learner potions before, but they usually end up unable to make a lick of sense. Maybe you did make a mistake back then, but you owned it and mastered it. Can’t say I’ve been that sensible about some of the mistakes I’ve made.”

“It does lend me a certain indelible tone, recognizable by any creature I’ve ever known,” Zecora said before popping a piece of the steamed cauliflower into her mouth. It was while she was chewing that morsel that she noticed someone else was staring at her, though not her alone. Fluttershy was looking at both her and Meadowbrook, watching them both. Zecora could imagine Fluttershy wearing a similar expression on her face as she watched two kittens fall asleep curled up with one another. “Fluttershy, why such a curious gaze?” Zecora asked once she swallowed her mouthful of food. “You seem to be in a blissful daze.”

Fluttershy blinked, Zecora’s words seeming to shake her from her thoughts. She then blushed. “Sorry, I’m just so happy to see you two getting along. I’m glad that through all this, Discord was able to help you to be friends again.”

“That chaos dragon-snake thing sure has a strange way of going about things, but guess it did help. We got off to that rocky start, and couldn’t respect one another as potion makers. And if ya don’t respect someone, it's darn hard to really be a friend with them. But through this contest, each of us got shown how talented the other is. The proof was in the pudding, and Discord made sure we couldn’t avoid eating our fair share.”

“Oooo, I should have made pudding for dessert. That would have been way easier,” Pinkie said, even as she began serving her fruit jelly based dessert bars. “But yeah, Discord was so excited last night when he came and asked me for help. And it was super fun. Super strange, but really super fun to plan all this on such short notice. It was like making a party to celebrate a party.”

“Something strange in your view? I’d never expect to hear that from you,” Zecora said before sneaking a bite of the dessert bar she had been served. She would, of course, finish the rest of her meal as well, but in such a situation, surely no one could fault her for enjoying her dessert at the same time as her meal. The dessert bars were a tad odd; They were a bit too chewy and sticky, but Zecora could not deny their delightfully sweet flavor. Pinkie had done pretty great despite her claims that it was something of an improvised recipe.

“Well, yeah. Like, he was dead set on having Celestia, Starswirl, and Starlight as judges, but while we were setting up the coliseum, he made space for someone to sit with the judges. It was like he was expecting Trixie. Oh, and I suggested that maybe we just use some existing venue. I thought that it would have been great to have it in Canterlot or maybe a big arena in Manehattan. But Discord insisted it be here in Ponyville, and that this coliseum had to be made out of Ponyville! He said he wanted it to be ‘something no pony could possibly ignore, no matter their to-do list.’” Pinkie said the last part with a gruffer tone of voice, a quick and crude attempt to impersonate Discord.

Fluttershy and Meadowbrook chuckled at the impression, but Zecora found the words odd. She could not say she knew Discord well, but she had interacted with him on at least a few occasions. His behavior was random, chaotic, but never without purpose. Zecora was a creature that, if building a row of dominoes she wanted to knock over, she’d try to do it from start to end as much as she could.

Discord was a creature that would randomly place the dominoes, and yet by the end, he’d have a well-spaced line that was ready and eager to tumble.

Zecora took another bite of her fried rice, chewing it as her mind continued chewing on its current thought. To-do list… Of the ponies Zecora knew, one was surely the princess of to-do lists: Twilight Sparkle. If what Pinkie said was accurate, then Zecora couldn’t deny it. It sounded like Discord wanted to ensure Twilight would attend his contest.

Discord wanted Twilight here, and it sounded like he wanted Trixie in attendance as well. That would explain why he asked Starlight to be a judge. Starswirl and Celestia made some sense. They surely both knew something of potion making. On top of that, each was a celebrity in their own right, and some ponies who would otherwise have no interest in such a contest would come just to see one of them.

That ensured the seats were filled, and the show would be big enough that Discord would have every excuse to keep it going. It was another domino… another step in his plan that he assembled in his own chaotic way.

But Starlight wasn’t a potion maker nor was she much of a celebrity. So why invite her to be a judge? Why not invite some modern doctor, or perhaps even some other potion maker? Zecora was absolutely certain that she and Meadowbrook could not be the only two experienced potion makers in Equestria. A more scientific and modern potion making methodology was even taught at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

So what reason could Discord have for making Starlight a judge? Zecora could only think of one. Starlight was Trixie’s best friend, and if Discord timed it right, he could have invited Starlight while Trixie was in proximity. That meant Starlight’s attendance could have simply been a means to ensure Trixie attended.

Yes, that made sense to Zecora, and it was another few pieces of Discord’s plan. He wanted Trixie and Twilight in the stadium. He likely planned for them to be the victim of his I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease from the start, but to what end? This whole contest was supposed to settle the rivalry that had formed between herself and Meadowbrook, wasn’t it?

But no… Fluttershy had just said that she was happy Discord was able to help them be friends again. Another domino fell into place in Zecora’s mind. Discord’s intent, despite being an antagonist, was to help her and Meadowbrook build the friendship that had been derailed the day before. He was fixing their problem, but if that was his goal, and this was all going according to his plan, then why wasn’t the contest already over? Their budding friendship had been restored once they worked together to save Twilight and Trixie from the worst part of the I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease.

If this was all part of Discord’s plan, then… could he have predicted they would use leach vines? Maybe she was giving him too much credit. Maybe Discord was just very good at improvisation, or maybe he had multiple paths roughly laid out that would lead them to the same desired point: being trapped in time. Still, if this was all part of Discord’s plan, then perhaps the contest was still going on. That would explain why they were stuck in time. The round wasn’t over yet. But why wasn’t the round over yet? What problem did they still have to fix?

“WHY YES, PRINCESS LUNA! I AM A HORRIBLE DANCER!”

Trixie’s bellowed insult at Twilight… it rang in Zecora’s head, threatening to ruin her train of thought before suddenly adding to it. In a moment, Zecora saw the last domino fall into place as if Discord’s own claw had reached out and placed it into her own mental metaphor. Perhaps the day before his intent had been just to repair her friendship with Meadowbrook, but Discord was ambitious. He planted the plunder vines while mocking Princess Celestia and Luna, just in case they did have a means of defeating him. Discord was capable of a one-two punch sort of plan.

“That sneaky, chaotic, horned, noodly creature! He’s been planning a double feature,” Zecora said, looking to the others with a smile on her face.

“Sorry, what was that?” Meadowbrook asked. She, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were all looking at Zecora with a bit of confusion. Zecora realized now that she had perhaps been tuning out some longer conversation the others had been having, but she’d apologize for that later.

“I think I see the grand design. I think I see Discord’s tangled twine. We are frozen in time, yet we can survive. We can breathe and eat, we can stay alive.” Zecora stood and began to pace, the simple act of moving helping her articulate what she wanted to share with the others. “We can interact with the labs, but not the world beyond. The cabinet clerks are gone, yet their supplies we can abscond. An arbitrary space with arbitrary rules, where we still have access to all our tools.”

Zecora turned back to face Meadowbrook, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. “The challenge is not done. The final round is not yet won. I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E is what we were asked to cure, but our focus has gone on a tangential tour. We surely fixed part one, but the test is only part-way done!”

Zecora kept pacing, but out of the corner of her eye saw Meadowbrook, Pinkie, and Fluttershy stand up from their sitting cushions. They were beginning to smile, looking on eagerly. Zecora could feel the excitement building in them just as it was building in her.

“It sounds like you know how to get us out of here, Zecora,” Fluttershy said.

“It is hard to say, I could be wrong. I may just be dancing to Discord’s mad, siren song. But I believe my logic is sound, and that I see his machinations for this round.”

Pinkie took one bounce closer to Zecora. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense. Tell us!”

“It’s hard to properly explain what has formed in my brain. The path ahead I feel is clear, though a curving path we must steer,” Zecora assured them. “We must finish the round and cure I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E. We will be free once no one is ill. Yet, the potion we need to undo the change requires ingredients both rare and strange. They exist in the cabinets, of this I am sure. Yet, without the clerks, we simply cannot pursue that cure. However, a magical fix would be much quicker, but this is where the plot gets thicker. The spell is something Twilight can surely comprehend. Her body also has the power to make the swap come to an end. I think this is where Discord’s hidden test does reside:

“Trixie and Twilight must mend their divide.”

Author's Note

The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

A Royal Performance

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

“Is this really the time to be taking a break?”

Fluttershy gave Twilight another gentle nudge, trying to herd her and keep her moving towards the red potion lab. “Yes. You’ve been staring at your equations for hours and you missed dinner. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” She gently placed a plate of food in front of Twilight, and she could hear her friend’s stomach growling just from the smell of it.

“But every second I waste—”

“This is not wasting time.” Fluttershy continued her gentle guidance. Though, as they walked, she dared to take her eyes off Twilight for a moment. She looked to the interior of the red lab. Meadowbrook was standing there, just behind the counter. Fluttershy nodded in Meadowbrook’s direction, and Meadowbrook returned the nod before coming out of the lab and joining their little procession.

“Fluttershy is right,” Meadowbrook said. “You’ve been staring at all them formulae of yours for too long. You should take a break to take care of yourself. Surely you’re hungry.”

Fluttershy led Twilight to a trio of sitting cushions that had been set up just outside the red lab. She gestured for Twilight to take a seat in the center cushion, and at the same time, Meadowbrook set down two plates of food. One was the main course Pinkie had prepared, and on the second smaller plate was a heaping helping of Pinkie’s dessert bars.

Fluttershy watched as Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but instead of words, all Fluttershy heard was a loud, ravenous growl coming from Twilight’s gut. Twilight blushed and refused to meet anyone’s gaze. “I guess I did let myself get too wrapped up in what I was doing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Fluttershy looked briefly at Meadowbrook once more, the pair sharing a smile. Step one of Zecora’s plan was complete. Twilight was where she needed to be. She had a big plate of food and was sitting facing the green lab. Now, all Fluttershy had to do was take her own seat on the cushion to Twilight’s left. At the same time, Meadowbrook would be sitting down on the last remaining of the three cushions, which was on Twilight's right side. The pair of them, together, would box Twilight in. She would not be able to get up and leave from her seat easily.

And as far as Fluttershy could tell, Twilight wasn’t aware at all. She used a bit of magic to levitate a spoonful of fried rice from the plate to her mouth, and as soon as she tasted it, she began to chew greedily. “Oh, this is good! Let me guess, Pinkie made it.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, she did. But wait until you try the dessert bar. It’s so good.”

“I bet,” Twilight said before she glanced around. “Though, speaking of Pinkie, where did she and Zecora go?”

“We thought that, after all your hard work, you could use something to help you relax,” Meadowbrook said. “So we put together a little something.”

“Is it more food?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy shook her head and worked to suppress her giggle. She was happy Twilight was enjoying her food, and that she realized how hungry she was. Still, it also meant their plan was working. Twilight had taken the bait and was well within the snuggly comfort of their puckish trap. Fluttershy had to admit, it was fun to be part of a for-a-friend’s-own-good kind of prank.

“It’s a magic show,” Fluttershy said.

At that moment, small pops of magical fireworks exploded above the green lab. Even though she knew what would happen when she gave the others their cue, Fluttershy had felt herself jump a little. Still, Twilight’s reaction had been far more visible. She had dropped a bit of food she had been trying to transport to her mouth, and her eyes were now transfixed on the green lab.

“Yes, marvel and awe as the Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie puts on a show filled with wonders and amazements that will leave even Twilight Sparkle slackjaw!” Trixie leaped up from behind the green counter, standing on its surface as she struck a pose. Even though she was in Twilight’s body, she had put on her own cap and hat. That and she was using Twilight’s magic to create the magical fireworks that continued to pop and explode above her head.

“Hey—”

Fluttershy quickly intercepted Twilight. She used one hoof to catch Twilight’s shoulder, to keep her from standing up, while she used the other to pick up the small plate with the dessert bar on it. She gently waved the dessert bar beneath Twilight's nose, trying to ensure Twilight could smell the sweet aromas. Fluttershy felt she was successful, as she heard Twilight’s stomach audibly growl once more.

“Trixie just wants to do what she can to help you, and the best way she can do that is by putting on a magic show,” Fluttershy said. “We want to help get your mind away from your equations and theories for a little bit. I bet, once you’ve taken a real break, you’ll be able to solve the problem we’re facing easily.”

Fluttershy felt Twilight slowly stop resisting. She flicked an angry gaze to the dessert bar. She snatched it up in her magic, took a bite, gave it a few angry chews, and then swallowed. “And Trixie agreed to this for my sake?”

Fluttershy nodded. “We all agreed that you were our best chance of getting out of here.”

“... Fine,” Twilight said. “But if she starts doing magic that could put any of us at risk, I reserve the right to put a stop to all of this. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Fluttershy said, smiling to herself. She leaned forward a little, looking around Meadowbrook. The pair shared a smile of a job well done. They had gotten Twilight to sit and watch the show. Now the others just had to do their part.

“She doesn’t look like she’s giving Trixie an honest chance.” Trixie stood backstage, or rather, behind a large curtain they had hung from the ceiling with Fluttershy’s help. It was in this small corner of space, hidden from their audience’s view, that Trixie, Pinkie, and Zecora had stacked the numerous props needed for the magic show.

“That’s just ‘cause you’ve been warming her up,” Pinkie said. She was fussing over Trixie, gently touching up bits of her mane and offering her a glass of water. “You’ve used the light stuff to break the ice, to set the stage on your stage. Now it’s time to bring out the big tricks! We’ve got your next one all ready for ya.”

Trixie batted at Pinkie gently. It was like trying to shoo away an annoying fly, but this one was capable of talking and seemed to smell constantly of cotton candy. “But Trixie has never done this trick right before. She’s read about it, practiced it, and yes, because of how marvelous Trixie is, we were able to mostly do it during our rehearsal. But even then, it wasn’t perfect. Twilight…” Trixie looked back out at Twilight, who was finishing the last of her dinner. “Twilight will just get to laugh at me. I will be nothing but a court jester for her.”

At that moment, a pair of hooves clapped loudly in front of Trixie’s face. She flinched, but her eyes were quickly forced to refocus on Pinkie. “Trixie, this is your moment. You’ve got Twilight’s undivided attention. It’s just you and her… and Fluttershy and Meadowbrook… but just imagine it. You do this trick, and you’ll blow. Twilight’s. Mind! She’ll be all like… ‘Whhhhaaaaaaat!?’ And then you’ll just keep on rolling. With each new trick, you’ll blow her mind even more. You’re going to freak her frizz. You’re going to make her put on socks just so she can have them knocked off.”

Trixie suddenly felt her face being squished. Pinkie had placed a hoof on either side of her Trixie's and continued her invasion of personal space by pressing her nose against Trixie’s. All Trixie could see was Pinkie’s eyes, staring at her with infectious determination. “You can do this!”

Pinkie released Trixie at that point, and Trixie happily stumbled back a few steps. She knew Pinkie didn’t mean any harm, but Trixie was a mare who appreciated her personal space. Still, she glanced over at Zecora, who gave a confident, affirming nod. It was strange to have so many ponies actually supporting her, and Trixie felt a strength welling up in her chest. She snatched the water Pinkie had offered her and gulped it down. She then adjusted her hat before swooping back onto the stage with a single, wing-aided leap.

“Perhaps you are thinking that the show so far has been… pedestrian,” Trixie said, speaking as if she was entertaining an audience of thousands. “Bunnies from hats and flowers from nowhere. Yes, these are staples of any magician, but now, the Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie will perform magic beyond any you have seen.”

Trixie clapped her hooves, and right on cue, Zecora and Pinkie came out onto the stage. Each was pushing a wheeled box. “For this trick, I shall be receiving aid from two very friendly assistants. Each is wheeling out a box. The boxes themselves are entirely ordinary. There is nothing inside. There is nothing outside. The boxes are nothing more than wood and a few screws to hold it all together.”

Trixie did her best to watch Zecora and Pinkie from the periphery of her vision. As they had done in their one rehearsal, her two assistants were showing just how ordinary the boxes were. Once they were done with their demonstrations, Trixie watched to ensure both Zecora and Pinkie had climbed inside their respective boxes.

“Now, Trixie will give the boxes a small spin. Hopefully my assistants don’t get dizzy.” For the first time that show, Trixie used a touch of Twilight’s magic. The wheeled boxes began to spin in place. It was slow at first, but the boxes gradually gained momentum. Trixie kept adding speed, going faster and faster. Then, when the moment was right, Trixie flourished her borrowed wings and clapped her hooves once. At that moment, the boxes abruptly stopped spinning.

“Whhhhaaaaaaat!?”

Trixie couldn’t help but smile, taking in the delicious view of Twilight’s awestruck face. But of course she would be awestruck, for Trixie had just performed a marvelous trick. “Well, it would seem my assistants got a little mixed around when spinning.” Trixie gestured to the two boxes as Zecora and Pinkie stepped out. Pinkie was now monochromatic while Zecora’s stripes had taken on several pink hues.

“Of course, Trixie wouldn’t dream of sending such helpful assistants home all mixed up.” She gestured for the pair of them to step back into the boxes. This time, she spun the boxes only once, but when the open sides turned to face the audience again, something else had happened. Pinkie and Zecora’s colors were back to normal, but they had traded mane styles. Pinkie was rocking a mohawk while Zecora’s head was almost lost in bushy curls.

As Trixie did a customary dramatic pause, she watched Twilight carefully. Twilight had grabbed Fluttershy’s shoulder and was pointing at their non-existent stage. “Mane magic! But mane magic is nearly impossible!” Twilight had obviously been trying to whisper, but Trixie had heard every word, and it only made her smile grow.

“Oops. Well, as they say, third time's the charm.” Trixie spun the boxes again, and again the boxes only spun around once. This time, when their interiors once more faced the audience of three, both Pinkie and Zecora were gone. Trixie let the moment of bewilderment linger, giving the perfect dramatic pause. Then, with grand intent and gesture, she cast a pair of firework spells.

From the horn of Twilight’s body, two fireworks shot into the air, one pink and one gray. They flew for a few seconds, almost reaching the ceiling of the coliseum before finally bursting. And from those explosions, Zecora and Pinkie reappeared.

Trixie struck a proper post-trick pose, using her hooves to point to Zecora and Pinkie as they descended gently back to the stage thanks to a pair of parachutes. All the while, she basked in the small but energetic applause of her three-pony audience.

“Okay, how did you do it? Because you sure didn’t use my magic for anything more than basic levitation spells.”

After the show had ended, Twilight got up from her seat and moved towards where Trixie had been performing. Twilight couldn’t deny it, even to herself. The show had been fun. After the first big trick with the spinning boxes, Trixie kept it coming. She did more over-the-top tricks, each one worthy of being the big finale of a single show. And maybe… that was exactly what Trixie had been doing. Maybe she had been pulling out all of her best tricks for this one private performance.

If that was the case, Twilight really did need to thank Trixie properly. The show had done its job. She felt mentally refreshed and ready to tackle the time locked problem the group was facing once more.

“A great magician never reveals her secrets,” Trixie singsonged. She walked with a confident swagger, but for once, Twilight felt Trixie had really earned the right to be so proud of herself.

That and the others were gathering as well. Twilight knew Fluttershy and Meadowbrook were only a few steps behind her, and she could see Zecora and Pinkie were coming out from their “backstage” area now they had finished stashing the props from the last big trick. Twilight was happy to see that, for the first time since their seemingly inescapable situation began, that all of them were smiling.

“Fair enough,” Twilight said. “Still, thank you for the show, Trixie. It really helped.”

“The Great, Powerful, and Princessly Trixie is happy to hear you enjoyed the show. Trixie certainly couldn’t disappoint after receiving such a heartfelt plea.”

Twilight chuckled as she arched an eyebrow. “Okay, what do you mean by that?”

Twilight watched as the pride-filled smile on Trixie’s face weakened a little, confusion mixing in. “What do you mean ‘what do you mean?’ You asked Trixie to put on this performance, to bring some joy and hope to our sorry situation.”

“I… didn’t ask for you to perform. I thought you did this because you felt I was our best chance to get out of here, and you wanted to thank me for working so hard.” Twilight looked intently into Trixie’s face, trying to discern if this was some strange mental game. But no, it wasn't. Trixie looked just as confused. However, Twilight could see Pinkie and Zecora were still smiling. Looking over her shoulder, Twilight saw Fluttershy and Meadowbrook were smiling as well. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“Sorry, we didn’t want to deceive ya, but we felt it was for your own good,” Meadowbrook said. She, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Zecora stepped forward so they could stand together while facing both Trixie and Twilight. “But… we think we figured out how to get out of here, and the first step was to get you two to quit feuding.”

“And to begin that we thought to share our own lesson with hope the animosity between the two of you can lessen,” Zecora said. “Perhaps true friendship is out of the question, but mutual respect is a step in the right direction. Meadowbrook and I may each do things our own way, but we are both skilled potion makers at the end of the day.”

“Even if I still disagree with your use of Red Juniper,” Meadowbrook jabbed with a friendly, teasing tone.

Twilight shifted her gaze to Fluttershy, who had stepped forward and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “We just felt that the only reason you two were still angry at one another was over what happened in the past, and neither of you are the same ponies that you were back then. So, how about it? Can you let bygones be bygones?”

Twilight looked into the faces of the mares around her, thinking about what had been said. She had been spending most of her time in the arena trying to stop the fight between Zecora and Meadowbrook, yet… everypony had a point. When it came to Trixie, she was still treating her with caution… as if the incident with the alicorn amulet had just happened.

Twilight sighed. Now that the others had pointed it out, it was easy enough for her to see. She had been having a friendship problem of her very own. “Yes… and I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.”

A sharp stomp made Twilight quickly turn her head, where she saw Trixie looking at the whole group. “Well, Trixie will not forget,” she said. “Trixie will always see Twilight as her rival. Trixie cannot forget the slight Twilight did to Trixie!”

Twilight flattened her ears and took a step towards Trixie. “What have I ever…” Twilight caught herself. She took in a deep breath. Twilight realized she couldn’t be angry. Being angry would just start an argument. She needed to just listen. “What did I do, Trixie?”

“The alicorn amulet incident!”

“You were holding Ponyville hostage. I had to stop you.”

“Trixie does not disagree with that,” she said. Twilight suddenly found a hoof pointed at her face, like she was being accused of some horrendous crime. “But Trixie’s honor as a magician was stolen that day, and Trixie will not stop until she has regained it!”

“But what did I do!?” Twilight said, trying to keep herself from raising her voice, but partially failing. Still, after the question was uttered, Trixie tried to answer. She opened her mouth, shut it, and then looked away. She puffed her cheeks, obviously angry yet struggling to say why she was angry. It was irritating. Why couldn’t Trixie just say it? Still, Twilight kept her composure. She was trying to rebuild a bridge of friendship that had been long burned. She had to be patient. “Trixie, I honestly don’t know what I did. So please, just tell me what it was.”

“You… out-magicianed me.”

First, Twilight’s brain grinded to a halt at what surely was not a real word. Once she got past that and understood what Trixie meant, Twilight found she was still a bit confused. “Come again?”

“You out-magicianed me! Trixie had the alicorn amulet.” Trixie reared back onto her hind legs, striking one of her signature stage poses. “Trixie had ultimate power! Yes, it was corrupting Trixie, but that’s beside the point! You beat Trixie. You got Trixie to take off the amulet willingly, and you did it by being an amazing magician!”

Twilight was still confused, but thankfully, someone else amongst the group was able to follow Trixie’s logic. “Ohhh, I get it!” Pinkie said. “You’re talking about when Twilight used those puffs of smoke to make it look like she was doing age spells and duplication spells and even that spell to turn Applejack into a stallion! That was basically a super fun magic show, wasn’t it?”

“Exactly! I realized it after I left Ponyville, and it just burned me up so much. I’m a magician. I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! Yet, on your first try ever, you put on a magic show so amazing you convinced me a doorstop was a powerful magical artifact. A doorstop!”

Twilight now understood and blushed a little in embarrassment. “Oh, well… maybe I did put on a pretty great performance that day.” She saw Trixie’s frown increase and moved quickly to try and get out the rest of what she wanted to say. “But that’s certainly not true anymore. You just put on an amazing show, and though I have some ideas, I honestly can’t say for sure how you pulled off your tricks. It was creative, fun, and perhaps above all else, you didn’t have to belittle anypony in your audience. You put in the hard work to create an amazing show, and that means you are an amazing magician.

“If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you. I should have been more supportive of you after you took the time to apologize for what happened with the amulet. If I were, maybe it wouldn’t have taken until you met Starlight for you to make a new friend.”

“What do you mean?” Trixie asked. “What does friendship have to do with this?”

Twilight smiled. Now this was something she could speak confidently about, even if the words were being said in Trixie’s voice. “Starlight helped you perform your first big trick with the Manticore Mouth Dive, and just now, you worked with Zecora and Pinkie to put on a great show. The only reason I was able to out magician you that one time was because of my friends. Now that you’ve learned to make friends of your own, you’ve leveled the playing field.”

Twilight at that point gently bowed her head, like a student would bow to a teacher. “Trixie… you are the far superior stage magician.”

“Trixie… was… I… ” Trixie fumbled. Twilight could see Trixie’s lip trembling, and… she might have been on the verge of crying. In the end, Twilight decided to spare Trixie having to say thank you. She just moved in and gave Trixie a hug. It was a little odd since she was technically hugging her own body, but still, she felt the intent got through.

And much to Twilight’s delight, Trixie lifted the forelegs of Twilights’ body and returned the hug.

“Well… Trixie officially believes she’s reached her quota for feeling-sharing today,” Trixie said once she began to pull away from Twilight a few moments later.

Twilight chuckled a little before looking back at Fluttershy, Pinkie, Zecora, and Meadowbrook. “Okay, I think I can say Trixie and I have made up. Now, how does all this help us escape?”

Pinkie Pie grinned as she drew back from her work. She was splattered with paint, but on the floor beneath her, she was looking at a pretty pristinely painted picture. Okay, it was less of a picture and more of a squiggly thing that kind of looked like two alphabet letters squished together. But that was what Twilight had asked her to draw.

Looking up from her most recent artistic success, Pinkie took in what was the group's current endeavor. After the magic show had come to a close, Zecora explained to Twilight her theory. That time may resume flow if they finish the current round of the contest, which meant they needed to cure the final symptom of the I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease.

And that was what they were currently working on doing. Twilight came up with the plan, and now everyone was contributing. It was like a party, though the point of the party was crafting a special magic circle. Twilight kind of explained how it would all work, but Pinkie hadn’t been able to entirely follow it. Then again, she trusted Twilight and knew that this would either work or it would do something else that was super fun. Maybe it would cause a confetti explosion.

“I’ve finished painting this symbol, Twilight!” Pinkie said, waving a hoof in Twilight’s direction.

“Great! Just one more on the circle’s exterior.” Twilight levitated a small piece of paper in Pinkie’s direction, on which was drawn another rune. Pinkie happily snatched the new picture, took two steps to her right, and set to work drawing the last picture. At the same time, from the periphery of her vision, she could see Fluttershy was helping draw the strange symbols as well. Fluttershy was hovering just above the middle of the circle, drawing the pictures that needed to be there without risking smearing any of the already drawn lines.

It was then a poof of smoke caught Pinkie’s attention. She looked up and focused on the red potion lab. While she and Fluttershy were helping Twilight, Meadowbrook and Zecora were helping Trixie control the alicorn magic in Twilight’s body. Though Trixie had protested, everyone else agreed with Twilight that it would take too long to teach Trixie to be proficient in the complex mind swap spell.

That was where the circle came in. The circle would let Twilight and Trixie work together to cast the spell that would unswap their minds. In Pinkie’s head, it was like if she was getting Applejack to help her decorate a cake with a really, really big frosting piping bag.

Pinkie would be the one to point the tip of the piping bag to make swirls and flowers and other fun shapes on the cake. But, because the bag would be so big, she wouldn’t be able to squish it. That was where Applejack would come in. She’d squeeze the bag, but she’d have to squeeze it just right. Too hard and too much frosting would come out and it would sploosh everywhere. To little and the buttercream rosettes she could hypothetically be making would just turn into lumpy, buttercream piles.

That was kind of what Trixie and Twilight had to do. Trixie had to provide a steady stream of magic while Twilight directed the magic to form and cast the spell.

“Everything all right over there?” Twilight asked, having also noticed the smoke.

“Just… fine! Trixie… is so great and powerful… this lesson… is nothing.” Trixie forced her words out through gritted teeth as her eyes remained focused on a single small gemstone.

“And what do her teachers think?” Twilight asked.

“She’ll be ready soon. That hiccup was the only one she’s had in the past few minutes.” Meadowbrook answered.

“Go Trixie! You’re Great and Powerful and Amazing and I know you can do it,” Pinkie said, bouncing once where she stood. A bit more paint from her paintbrush glopped onto her coat, but she was sure that her happy bouncing never caused a drop of paint to spill onto the floor. It was a lot like decorating the cake. Frosting could go a lot of places, but she’d always make sure the cake looked great in the end.

“Pinkie’s right, Trixie. You got this, and I think we’ve got our part as well.” Twilight set down the few scraps of notepaper she had been fussing over and looked at Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, once Pinkie’s done with her last rune, would you mind just flying circles over the diagram for a few minutes, to help the paint dry?”

“What about me, Twilight?” Pinkie asked.

“Just worry about that last picture, Pinkie… and then maybe try and get cleaned up a bit. You’re more red than pink right now.”

Pinkie giggled, but saluted Twilight all the same, though the action just caused red paint to spread over more of her body. “I’ll be sure to be cleaned, pressed, and ready to impress. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Hey, once this is done, do you think I could be a princess for a while? I bet it would be fun to swap bodies with you.”

“Sorry, but I think I’ll want my body to myself for a while after this.”

“That’s fair. I’ll just have to ask Princess Celestia, then. I wonder if I could make the sun look like a happy face...”

“All right, everyone. Brace yourselves, we’re about to start.”

Meadowbrook hunkered down with Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Zecora in what had been her potion lab for the contest. The spell circle had been finished and given a chance to dry. Trixie had been given a chance to rest, but now they had come to the moment of truth.

In the unlikely event of a magical explosion or blowback, Twilight had directed everyone else to hide behind the counters of a potion lab. Still, Meadowbrook couldn’t help but want to watch the magic as it unfolded, and she noticed she wasn’t alone. Though they were all taking cover, she, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Zecora were all also peeking over the edge of the counter.

“Okay, Trixie,” Twilight said. She was standing on the outer perimeter of the painted circle, while Trixie was at the center. “Start pouring in the magical energy.”

Trixie rolled the shoulders of her borrowed body before doing just that. She closed her eyes, lowered her head, and pointed the horn of Twilight’s body at the nearest part of the painted circle. The horn began to glow, and Meadowbrook was fairly certain she could see something pouring out from the horn. And as the magic was poured, it was being absorbed by the circle. The lines began glowing, and the glow spread through the circle along the existing pathways and shapes.

Meadowbrook would compare it to a blacksmith pouring metal into an intricate mold, and like a hot mold filling the room with heat, Meadowbrook could feel the magic coming off the circle beginning to flow over her.

Once the whole circle had been saturated, Twilight began her part. The horn on Trixie’s body glowed as Twilight shut the eyes and began to focus. Meadowbrook could not see the glow of Trixie’s blue magic anywhere on the circle, but she knew Twilight was already hard at work shaping the magic.

A gentle breeze began to kick up in the air. The spell circle was drawing air in towards itself. Gentle trails of smoke, or maybe just steam, began to billow from the thicker lines. The steam swirled and was tossed upwards, disappearing into the air above the circle. Meadowbrook was no stranger to higher magic. She had witnessed Starswirl perform spells of numerous natures. And she could easily see now just how impressive Twilight’s magic was. She was casting such a complicated spell by proxy.

It further enforced the thought in Meadowbrook’s mind that, someday, Twilight’s fame would be as great if not greater than Starswirl's.

“Is it weird my brain is tingling?” Trixie asked.

“No,” Twilight answered, neither of them opening their eyes as they kept focusing. “The spell is almost ready to fire. Just keep providing magic. Once it’s triggered, the spell will complete automatically.”

“I want to know what it’s like for my brain to tingle,” Pinkie whispered, the only bit of commentary from the four ponies watching. After all, Meadowbrook imagined none of them wanted to break Twilight or Trixie’s concentration.

“Ready… three… two… one…”

There was a sharp snap, like the crack of a whip. Meadowbrook winced at the sound but did not take her eyes off the circle for more than a moment. In the swirling, vicious tendrils of magic, Twilight and Trixie stood still as stone, eyes open and glowing white. From their eyes came clouds of magic. The cloud seeping out of Twilight's body was light blue, while the one rising out of Trixie’s body was a vibrant purple.

The two clouds were tugged and guided by the tendrils of magic. Meadowbrook watched as the cloud that she assumed was Trixie’s mind drifted straight towards Trixie’s body. Twilight’s cloud went along the perimeter of the circle, flowing clockwise. Trixie’s mental cloud began to seep back into her body just as Twilight’s cloud reached the opposite end of the circle. From there, it moved towards the center, coming up on its own body from behind.

Soon, both mental clouds had disappeared, but the spell was not complete. The energy became more rampant, twisting and swirling as the runic circle supporting the spell grew brighter and brighter. Twilight had explained that the spell had three stages. The removal, the swap, and then the rebinding. Meadowbrook realized this had to be the rebinding phase, where the minds of the two mares were reconnected to their correct bodies.

The light built, growing in intensity until it was near blinding. Then, another sharp crack, this time like the snap of lightning.

And then… the sound of applause.

Author's Note

The story has been completely pre-written, and I'll be posting chapters regularly every couple of days. You won't have to wait long to see the whole thing!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.

Discord's Solution

Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
El Oso, Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, Winston, Wanderer D, Level Dasher

Cover Art By RyuRedwings
=====================================================================

Twilight felt the snap. Her ears rang and her head swam. It was like she was suddenly dragged deep underwater by the violent crash of an ocean wave. She tumbled and spun, her mind desperately trying to regain its equilibrium. The sensation then began to fade, disappearing as quickly as it came… and as it did… Twilight began to hear something.

“Yes, the unthinkable has happened! We have a tie!”

Twilight opened her eyes, and the world was full of color again. The audience was cheering, waving their flags. Every sound and sight rushed into Twilight and made her jump for joy, and as she did, Twilight felt the air gently slipping over her wings. She looked down at her hooves just to be sure, but when she saw the familiar purple coat, she knew they were successful. She was back in her own head, and they had finished the third round of Discord’s contest.

“Twilight!”

Looking up, Twilight saw Celestia rushing towards her with Starlight and Starswirl following in her wake. “Are you all right? We saw the temporal bubbles collapse, and then suddenly the six of you were in the center of the stage.”

“And why is there a runic spell foundation painted on the floor?” Starswirl asked as he looked down at the lines and symbols of red paint.

Twilight chuckled, unable to remove the grin from her face. “It’s a long story,” she said before looking over to where she had been standing in Trixie’s body moments ago. “Trixie, are you all right?”

Trixie was laying flat on the floor, legs sticking up in the air as she just stared at the ceiling. Trixie did, however, raise her hoof and gave a general positive gesture. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is no longer Princessly… and has a bad headache.”

“Sorry, we’ll get you some medicine for that,” Twilight said before turning to look at the red lab. Zecora, Meadowbrook, Fluttershy, and Pinkie were all rushing out towards the center of the stage, though Discord was quick to appear and snatch up the two competing potion makers.

“Yes, mares and gentlecolts. In this head-to-head round, against the devastating difficulty of the I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease, our two world-class potion makers decided, for the sake of their patient, it was better to work together. In light of the cooperation they demonstrated, I am proud to announce that this contest will end right now, and they shall both be crowned the Elixir Master!”

Twilight felt her smile grow. Oh, she wanted to chew Discord out so bad, but… then she looked and saw Meadowbrook and Zecora. They, at first, looked just as irritated, but then they began to smile. The crowd was cheering for them, chanting for them, as if celebrating not only the competition but their repaired friendship. As the pair stood, held aloft by Discord’s open palms, they began waving at the crowd. They were no longer rivals, and Twilight liked to think that, after all this, the friendship that had been forged was built to last.

“And let’s not forget to give a round of applause for our judges and our patients,” Discord said, his voice booming above the crowd. With a snap of the spines on his tail, Discord’s magic quickly reshuffled the stage. The potion labs disappeared, and Twilight suddenly found herself standing between Celestia and Trixie. She, Celestia, Starswirl, Starlight, Trixie, two copies of Rarity, and two trees had been arranged in a circle in the very center of the coliseum stage.

“Well, it would be rude not to take a bow,” Celestia mused, and she gently bent her head forward. Twilight giggled and decided to just go with the flow for the moment. She joined Celestia in the bow, and soon every judge and participant was bowing in the center of the stage, including the trees. Discord was still holding Zecora and Meadowbrook up in his palms, but he had grown a few spare forelimbs so he could still make some dramatic gestures here and there.

“Thank you all for coming! Truly, this show wouldn’t have been possible without all of you in the audience,” Discord said. “So please, have a wonderful evening. If you like, please fill out a feedback form on your way out, and I hope the memory of this once-in-a-lifetime spectacle stays with you forever. ChaosCo thanks you for attending. Farewell and goodnight! Roll the credits, and for those patient creatures, stick around for the after-credits scene!”

With that, Discord snapped his claws again, and the coliseum filled with some upbeat pop music. Twilight found she had been teleported to some other part of the stage. Where she and the others had been standing, giant words had taken shape. They looked like they were made out of the red and green materials from the potion labs, reassembled to form alphabetic statues. The letters formed were big, bold, and clearly legible.

ELIXIR MASTER

Another snap of Discord’s magic, a giant poof, and the letters had changed. But this time, Discord was standing on top of the letters. Twilight had to stare a bit in disbelief, but he seemed to be dancing along to the music in the stadium. The letters themselves spelled out something new.

Director
Discord

A third snap of magic. The letters had changed again, and now… Celestia was standing on one of the letters, dancing. And while Discord had seemed to be enjoying the dancing, from where Twilight stood, Celestia just looked confused. It was like she didn’t even realize she was dancing.

Executive Producer
Discord

A fourth snap of magic. Twilight blinked and now found herself standing someplace else. She was in the center of the stage again, beneath the spotlights. She could look out and see the whole audience, but upon looking down, she saw she wasn’t standing directly on the stage. Instead, she was the one now standing on top of the newly formed words.

Casting & Catering
Discord

Twilight then realized it, even as she managed to read what the words said from the difficult angle. She was dancing, too. Looking out around the perimeter of the stage, she and everyone else that had been in the contest were dancing, doing different dances. She couldn’t stop, and what was worse… this wasn’t even how she danced! Her dancing was way better than this.

Still, Twilight felt Discord’s magic around her, and soon, another pop of his magic had changed the letters again. Now, Meadowbrook and Zecora were standing on top of the newly formed words, and it became quickly obvious that Discord had an entire credits sequence played out. He was treating his contest as if it had been some kind of movie, and he was going to have them all help.

Key Staff
Production - Discord
Art Director - Discord
Location Designer - Discord
Prop Department Head - Discord

Featured Talent
Twilight Sparkle as Herself
Zecora as Herself
Mage Meadowbrook as Herself
Pinkie Pie as Pinkie Pie
Fluttershy as Herself
Trixie as Herself
and
Everyone Else as Themselves

ChaosCo Executive Board
Chief Executive Officer - Discord
Chief Operations Officer - Discord
Chief Financial Officer - Discord
Chief Technical Officer - Discord
Chief Janitorial Officer - Scruffy

Special Thanks
The Ponyville Chamber of Commerce
The Equestrian Center of Disease Control
Discord and the Discords
Lord Discord of Chaos

Equestrian Film Registry Office Number
Infinity

No animals were harmed in the making of this Discord featured product.

“I’m not dancing for a week,” Twilight said as she got back home. She was exhausted after all that dancing. She gave Discord a piece of her mind once he had finished with his credits sequence, both about bewitching ponies to dance as well as finally getting to lay into him about her disrupted to-do list!

Still, in the end, Twilight had to admit her to-do list was ruined and headed home. She would rejigger her schedule for tomorrow to try and take care of her now-delayed errands. She was sure she could handle it, but it would cut into her leisurely reading time. And she had just gotten one of the Shadow Spade novels that Rarity had so intently recommended.

Despite it all, Twilight knew she could be happy about one thing. Ponyville had taken the whole event in stride, and she felt that was a good sign. Everypony in town seemed to enjoy themselves, and most of the local business seemed exceptionally happy, especially if what she heard was accurate. They had all seen a higher than average day of sales.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were ecstatic when she saw them on her way out. Applejack’s booth had won the sales contest. That meant Rainbow Dash got her promised barrels of cider, and AJ secured the mysterious contest prize, whatever that ended up being. Twilight made a mental note to herself to ask AJ what she had won the next time the pair saw one another.

The coliseum had been deconstructed in a single snap of Discord’s claw. Celestia and Luna returned to Canterlot to lower the sun and raise the moon for the evening. Starswirl resumed his travels from wherever Discord had snatched him from. Everything was put back in place.

Above all else, Twilight knew that somewhere in the Everfree Forest, Zecora and Meadowbrook were once more talking and working together as friends. That had been a doozy of a friendship problem.

That one thought brought Twilight to a dead stop. “No…”

Twilight summoned her magic, and a moment later had teleported from the castle’s entryway to the throne room. She arrived directly adjacent to the map table, looking it over, mentally begging for it to disprove the thought that had just crossed her mind.

“No… no, this couldn’t have been… a friendship mission,” Twilight said, trying to use her magic to coax the map table to life. “The map couldn’t have sent Disord on a friendship mission. No, it’s not… possible.”

At the prodding of her magic, the table came to life. She knew it had been active. Her original to-do list had an item to check on the table and see why it had been active. Now, the table showed the map of Equestria, and above Ponyville, Twilight saw a gently floating symbol. Though few ponies would recognize it, Twilight knew what the symbol meant. It was eight arrows, all pointing outward from a central point. It was a symbol that had been emblazoned on a particular cane Twilight saw at a recent Grand Galloping Gala.

It was the symbol of chaos… which, to Twilight, meant it was also the symbol of Discord.

“Leaves you kind of speechless, doesn’t it?”

Twilight jumped, spun around, and looked to see Discord floating just inside the doorway, grinning like a cat that had cornered a mouse. “You… this… when? WHY!?”

“Come now, Twilight. Use your words,” Discord said with a chuckle, the grin on his face not diminishing a bit.

“You… all of the stuff with the contest and the coliseum… it was a friendship mission!?”

“Didn’t I tell you that? Oh, silly me.” Discord disappeared from his spot near the door and reappeared floating over the table. “Well, I know you ‘interrogated’ Fluttershy and had her tell you how the whole argument started with Zecora and Meadowbrook. And when it all started, I was planning a much smaller affair for their duel. But then, as I was sitting at home, working with my vision board, I felt a peculiar vibration on my derriere. Now, I’m the spirit of chaos. My body is always doing weird things, especially when I don’t intend it to. But even for me, this glowing and vibrating was unprecedented.

“Of course, once I realized what was going on, I popped right over here to see what your map had in store for me.” Discord used his lion paw to point at the map. “To think, I’ve been reformed enough that this national treasure of friendship and harmony would decide to ask me to perform a friendship mission. It truly was an honor, especially since it was asking me to solve a problem with the princess of friendship.”

“Me!?” Twilight said, spitting the word out like she had just been punched in the gut.

“Why yes,” Discord said. “Look, this symbol of mine is floating over Ponyville. If my mission was to fix the friendship with Zecora and Meadowbrook, it would have been floating over the Everfree Forest. No, the map wanted me to fix a problem in Ponyville, and in the end… there was only one problem I felt was… unique enough to warrant my attention.

“Though, of course, I didn’t want to go back on my word either. So, I rolled up my sleeves and showed what I could really do. It is so nice to see you and Trixie being pleasant to one another. I heard you are even going to invite Cadence to bring Flurry Heart down to see one of Trixie’s shows.”

Twilight… was at a loss. Her mind tried to form words, but… they just crumbled like a poorly made sand castle. Discord had solved a friendship problem… between her and Trixie no less! Maybe he was tooting his own horn, but he was making it sound like he had solved two friendship problems at once! No... no, that couldn’t be right. That couldn’t be possible!

“I’m sure you’re having a lovely existential crisis right now, but that’s not why I came over.”

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat. She looked up at Discord, nervous sweat forming on her brow. “There’s something else!?”

“I’m just fulfilling my clearly outlined contractual obligations,” said Discord as he pulled out a copy of his rulebook. “I need to properly clean the last traces of my I.M.B.E.C.I.L.E disease from your system.”

“It’s not gone?” Twilight asked, looking down at her hooves, suddenly wondering if she’d see small, crawling spots of Trixie’s blue coat on her body.

“You and your friends did a marvelous job. I mean, really, I had to quickly pivot some of my plans when Zecora and Meadowbrook thought to use leach vines of all things. But in the end, they didn’t really cure the disease with potions like they were supposed to. Technically, I shouldn’t have let the round end, but they got close enough and I had completed my friendship mission.

“So, I just need to quickly sort things out.” Discord raised his lion paw, the digits already prepped. “Just one snap will do it.”

Twilight watched and saw Discord snap his claws, and was then swiftly surrounded by a puff of smoke. She waved a hoof in front of her face, quickly trying to clear her vision. However, the smoke lingered.

“There you are,” Discord said. “I’ve undone everything I did, and everything the potions did. Though, you may have to do a little work to undo something you did. After all, the contest was for Elixir Master, not Spell Master. Meh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Have a good night, Twilight.”

“Wait, Discord, hold on a second.” Twilight coughed, but she heard the telltale pop of Discord disappearing. Then, and only then, did the suffocating smoke finally start to disappear from around Twilight. She looked around the room a moment, then groaned as she confirmed Discord had truly disappeared.

“I swear, he does this stuff just to mess with me sometimes,” Twilight said, only to realize her voice didn't sound like her own. She looked down, and saw her hooves were now blue, and looking over her shoulder, she saw a familiar cape instead of the expected wings.

Twilight was back in Trixie’s body, and she felt her temper boiling over as she turned and ran out the door.

“Discord!”

THE END

Author's Note

I hope everyone enjoyed the story. It was fun to write, for sure!

Also, though I don't often reply, I do read every comment posted to all my stories. I realize that can sometimes seem cold, so let me apologize and thank everyone for the comments they leave on this story in advance.

Finally, as usual, I would like to ask that if you notice typoes in the story, that you PM them to me directly. I really do appreciate the small bit of additional effort, and the PM lets me reply directly to the reported typoes without derailing the comment section further.