Do you believe in magic?

by gcsmith

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Crossover, Human
Length: 31024

House and Wilson In Equestria

Two months have passed since House faked his death to avoid prison and spend time with his best friend, Wilson. Together they have traveled the United States doing whatever it is Wilson wishes to do before he dies from terminal cancer.

The most recent decision was to go to Trentville, a small town with little to offer the pair, apart from an unbeatable drinking challenge.

After successfully completing the challenge House and Wilson pass out in an an alleyway behind the pub, only to wake up in rather different land.

How will House cope in a land that is filled with ideas he believes to be moronic, where kindness and friendship roam free. More importantly, how will Equestria cope with House's cold, hard, cynical logic? Also how will Wilson cope living in a land filled with ideals he has tried to convince House of his whole life?

Published 2012-08-04 15:34:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-25 20:38:13 UTC

Chapter 1 -

Chapter 1 -

Two jet black Harley Davidson motorcycles tore down the highway, their engines roaring as the drivers wove in and out of the sparse traffic. Here in the heartland of the United States there was very little reason to be cautious about speed; to them there was only the stretch of road ahead and the three months they had left to travel it. It had been two months since they had started their journey but they were determined to make the most of every moment.

Today their agenda included a small town off the highway and a very strange alcohol challenge, Chuck's Chilli Chuckout, which conveniently took place at Chuck's Chilli Shack. It involved downing a very large quantity of a specially brewed house beverage, Chilli beer, a challenge which according to their research had yet to be completed. Until today. It had been said that to complete it would render one either seriously ill or dead, something which didn't worry you too much when you only had three months to live due to terminal cancer anyway.

As they passed the last bit of traffic and the highway cleared up ahead of them, the two riders pulled up alongside each other. "Wilson, can we pull over soon, my leg is killing me!"

"We've only got about ten minutes left, can't you wait for your next fix? Besides, it’s not as if you haven't devised some clever way of taking pills while driving!"

"Of course I have, but it doesn't work when the pills are in my backpack!"

Wilson sighed, "House, we have spent the past 20 or so years of our friendship doing what you want. Now we do what I want, and we aren't stopping till we get there!"

"But mum...."

"Shut it, or I'll stop prescribing the pills for you!"

House was uncharacteristically quiet after that, usually he could push Wilson's buttons for ages. After all, Wilson needed to be needed, but then, usually he didn't have malignant cancer. That was one thing in life that House had learned: dying changes everything. Take Wilson for example. Usually he was a boy scout; helping others across the road; loaning out five grand for motorbikes. But since he had found out he was terminally ill he had bought a brand new car and had self indulged in every way possible. He still helped old ladies cross the road though, he hadn't changed completely.

The next ten minutes passed with nothing said between them, the roar of the engines the only noise as they rushed to their destination, both determined to beat the Chuckout.

Arriving in towns like this one was always strange, they always turned out to be the same. A small, out of the way place, not much bigger than a village, that tried to get themselves on the map somehow. This place, Trentville, was no different. It was small, quiet, and most of all boring. The only exciting thing that seemed to happen here was the Chuckout. Not that House or Wilson cared, they were only here to get drunk and become the world's first pair to beat the stupid challenge.

Despite the heat there were quite a lot of people out and about in the center of town, strange for such a small place. Then again, with the only pubs and shops for miles around, downtown Trentville was probably one of the only places you could go on a day like this. Beautiful and sunny, not a day you’d want to be cooped up indoors, not without a big tall and frosty in your hand.

As they parked their bikes in two free spaces, they began to walk to Chuck's, the pub which had signs posted all over this area. On their way they passed two elderly woman sitting on a bench who paused their gossiping to giggle at the two of them as they passed.

"Look, Cindy, another two young folk who think they can take on the Chuckout."

"Hehe, they have no chance. I mean, look at them! They're so skinny I doubt they can even hold their liquor. And besides, no one who wants to see another day could drink that much."

House, never one to refuse a challenge, quickly replied. "Good thing we're already dead. Well, I am legally and my friend here will be joining me soon."

"House, I don't think telling everyone about you tricking the police is going to do us any favours."

"What, these 'lovely' ladies? They’re as likely as to call the police as MJ is to let go of Peter Parker, and I ain't talking about spiderman here."

"Excuse me, did you just insult us?" asked Cindy.

"No no, of course not, excuse my friend here, ladies, he's a little on the childish side," stammered Wilson, desperate to not cause any trouble.

"Well, we'll let your friend off the hook this time, but only because he's so gorgeous," said the other woman with a swoon.

At this remark House smiled brightly, but before he could say anything Wilson dragged him off.

"Good day ladies." The women chuckled.

"What a strange couple."

"I know, must not be getting enough action in bed."

"What's the matter with you, can't you hold your tongue for just one minute? And, then again, look who I'm talking to. The world’s biggest ten year old."

"What's the big deal, not as if they understood the metaphor!"

"That's not the point, the deal is you can't even wait until you're drunk to start a fight like any normal person."

"Normal's boring, normal people accept prison sentences and don't fake their own death to spend five months with their only friend. Is that what you would of wanted?"

"Well no..."

"See, no problem."

"Of course there's a problem, you wouldn't even need to fake your own death if it wasn't for some childish prank against the hospital!" Wilson held his head in his hands.

"Look, can you please, just for now, act a little more civil? I promise you can act as childish as you want when you’re completely intoxicated." Wilson looked at House, expecting some sort of comeback, but instead House just turned and entered the bar.

The pub was packed near bursting as they entered. It looked like people regularly tried the Chuckout and others made a sport of knocking back a safer drink while watching. Wading their way through the crowd of pleasant and not quite so pleasant, they found a small table at the far end away from the door.

"Another round of applause please to, Paul, the 1031st person to fail the Chuckout!" A large round of applause filled the air, followed by the sound of retching.

"Nice..." said Wilson rather sarcastically. "Tell me again why I wanted to do this?"

"Don't chicken out on me now Wilson, just think about it, in three months time you'll be gone but your name shall live on forever on a grimy pub wall as one the first people to finish the Chuckout."

"One of the first?"

"I'm going to complete it as well, naturally."

Before Wilson could ask him how, as an already perpetually high person, he could survive the intoxication, a bar maid walked over to their table.

"Howdy, how can Chuck's Chilli Shack be of service to you today?" For a second House looked at Wilson expectantly, however when it became clear Wilson was afraid to speak, it was up to him to order.

"We would both like to try the Chuckout please," he said rather politely. "And before you ask, yes we have a death wish, and yes we know it costs $300 each unless we finish."

The waitress stood silent, shocked by the minor verbal assault. Momentarily she came to her senses enough to speak.

"Right then." She turned towards the bar, "Roy, rack ‘em up, we've got another couple of people here for the Chuckout!"

A rather large ox of a man, most likely Roy, stood up in front of a large, sturdy wooden table.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have some more entertainment already, and a twofer at that! Would the two people attempting the Chuckout please come up to the table here? That way we can all get a look at you during the challenge."

House and Wilson stood up from their table to a large round of applause, it looked like whole pub was behind them. Either these folks were some of the jolliest people around, or they really wanted to see the record beat. Or, what seemed more likely to House's mind, they just really wanted to see people get drunk off their face and throw up. Not that it mattered much, cheering was cheering and if it made sure Wilson was willing to compete, all the better.

When they got to the table, Roy motioned for them to sit in two chairs, one either side of him. He placed his hands on their shoulders, one on each of them, and asked them loudly so the crowd could hear. "So what are your names then?"

House was the first to respond, "House," he said in a cheery voice.

"Alright then, on the left here we have House, and on the right?"

"Wilson," Wilson answered, far more nervously.

"Right, Wilson, and, House. The rules are simple, you have 20 minutes to drink 10 pints of beer. Now before you say it's simple or that you could do it in your sleep, let me warn you, this is no ordinary beer. This is Chuck's Chilli Shack's very own Chilli Chuckout Brew, it's specially brewed with a mixture of spices and chilli to be the bitterest and hottest beer you have ever drunk. So are you ready?!"

As he asked both House and Wilson nodded, the first pint mugs were placed in front of each of them and Roy smiled. "Let the games begin!"

The next twenty minutes were spent in a mixture of agony as they gagged down as many pints of the stuff they could, and elation as they soaked in the applause and support from the crowd. By minute fifteen House was defeated, he had managed to get 7 pints down, but with the high from his Viconin he was stating to see spots and his vision and speech were both being seriously affected. Wilson on the other hand, was still in a drinking frenzy, his eighth pint raised to his lips. He was slowly pouring it into his mouth; this task was completed with difficulty because the alcohol was now making it harder and harder to hold the glass straight.

As minute nineteen approached, Wilson was on his last glass, glass nine had just been finished and with a minute to go it looked like he might just succeed. "Go on, Wilshon!!" cried House, giving as much support as he could. With two trembling hands, Wilson gripped the mug and without restraint raised it to his mouth, pouring the liquid down his throat as fast as he could. In between stopping to breath and gagging, he reached ten seconds left with only a small amount of liquid left in the mug.

"Ten, Nine, Eight..." The crowd started counting and Wilson looked around nervously, he was so close yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt a hand clutch his shoulder and could smell the beer on House's breath as he leaned in close.

"Don' gif up noi Wilshon, Eu can do eet!" That was all he needed, the warming, if slurred, support of his best friend. With a mammoth effort he raised the glass to his lips one final time, almost inhaling the liquid as he poured it into his mouth. Just as the crowd shouted “one”, he slammed the glass down on the table, the room filled up with a roar of applause and cheering. He had done it, he was the first person ever to complete the Chuckout challenge. He gazed over at House, his best friend who had supported him even after his own attempt had failed. It was times like these he appreciated his company, that made all his taunting and pranks worth it.

Wilson gave House a smile, a warm drunken smile in gratitude for his efforts as a friend, and then promptly vomited all over him.

Chapter 2 -

Chapter 2 -

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in the five years we've been running this Challenge we have a winner!" Roy raised took hold of Wilson's shaking hand, "Wilson!" The crowd roared even harder at this point, elated that the Chuckout had finally been beaten, and hysterical after seeing Wilson vomit all over House straight after.

Wilson was led over to wall, handed a certificate and T-shirt both of which he gripped clumsily and tried not to dribble on. Next his photo was taken with a old Polaroid camera and his picture was the first to be placed upon 'the wall', a place where all the faces of the winners would end up. Right now it looked like some sort of weird shrine to him, his being the only face present.

A warm feeling flooded through Wilson, something which at first he believed to be the feeling of success, but then he realised was simply an overwhelming urge to relieve himself. He scanned the room for House, but he was nowhere to be seen, not that it mattered much - he could simply search for House after he had concluded his business. Drunkenly, he made his way across the room, avoiding offers from people who wanted to buy him a drink. He felt a bit rude at ignoring them so, but he was a hero to them and heroes didn't need manners. Besides, he really needed to pee.

Eventually he reached the bathroom, gaining the addition of a few bruises along the way as slipped and slid his way across the tiled floor to the urinal. The sound of retching filled the room as Wilson unzipped himself. He peered behind himself, and saw the bottom half of House poking out of a cubical. It seemed he also needed to vacate the contents of the Chuckout. That, or Wilson's puke was causing an involuntary response.

When they had both finished relieving themselves, they stumbled out together and tried to find a quiet table to no success. Wherever they went they were followed by a mob of people, all wanting to speak to the man who had become their hero and his best friend. They spent the rest of the day there, talking and joking with some of the bar’s most veteran patrons and, in spite of their nearly already knockout levels of alcohol, drinking.

By closing time, the pair of them were so drunk that they had to be carried out by the mob of admirers, who dropped them on the street outside as they dispersed. These two may have been their heroes, but it was cold and they all had homes to get back to. With no hotel within a safe distance (not that they would be allowed to stay, given the state they were in), they decided to stay in the alleyway behind the bar. Well, that's where they ended up at least. It was cold, but given the state of the town it was most likely safe. They quickly passed out from alcohol and exhaustion.

Wilson awoke to a world of pain as sunlight scorched his eyes. His hangover beat his head like a jackhammer and his throat felt like someone had scraped it with sandpaper. He tried to climb to his feet but his head swam from the sudden movement and before he knew it he was lying on the ground again. The landing was less severe than he expected, he was certain he had fallen asleep on the concrete behind a pub last night. And yet, he felt something soft beneath him, almost like grass.

He turned his head to look and found his neck was stiff from sleeping on the ground. Eventually he managed it and was no longer looking at a clear blue sunny sky, but what looked like a garden, complete with a hedge maze and some statues. Wilson tried to shout out, "House!" but nothing more than slight whisper came from his aching throat. He was certain this had something to do with his best friend. He didn't know how, but everything that involved waking up somewhere different than where he went to sleep had to involve House. That man was a master of pranks. Then again, Wilson often got a few good shots back at him. Like the guitar prank - kidnapping his friend's vintage Fender Stratocaster and slowly torturing him by sending him look-a-like bits in the mail. Wilson kept that up for days on end until he hired a new team. That had been a cruel prank, but boy, the look of fear on House's face brought a rush to him when he noticed the guitar was missing.

He shook his head, now was not the time to reminisce old times. Now was the time to get out of this latest prank so he could play one of his own back, and have a laugh with his friend. Slowly this time, far more slowly than before, he tried to get to his feet. He succeeded without his head swimming, but found his balance was way off and began to fall over. He managed to throw himself forward this time and land on all fours so he didn't have to start from scratch.

Strangely this didn't feel as odd as it usually did, he found the position rather comfortable and noticed that somehow his chest wasn't touching the ground. Alright, he had to admit this was strange, but it was probably just a response to whatever drug House had slipped him last night. That, or chili and beer should never, ever be mixed.

Slowly Wilson turned himself around, careful to not move too quickly and to keep his head low, he may need to escape but he didn't want to aggravate his hangover. As he turned, he would have believed he was dreaming if it wasn't for the pain he was experiencing. Behind where he was lying before was a very large castle which looked like something from a fairy tale, it even came complete with all the useless spires and towers which never would have made sense on a real life castle. Now this, this was crazy, he didn't know anywhere in America that had something like this. Was it possible that he wasn't in America anymore? On that note, exactly how long had he been out? It would certainly be possible, if somewhat difficult for House to keep him drugged for an extended period of time.

Somehow he doubted it however, it wasn't House's style to pull extended pranks, not one this big. Besides, he was officially dead, it would be nigh on impossible for him to pull a stunt like this off. Speechless, not that speaking would help him, Wilson crawled around the edge of the castle, hopeful that he could find someone to help him - and who could tell him where on earth he was.

A few minutes of slow crawling later, he noticed an exit to the garden and could just make out the regular sound of well organized clopping, it seemed that someone was out horse riding. Good, maybe it was someone that would be able to help him. His crawling increased in pace as he urged himself towards the exit, quelling a rising headache as he got closer to the source of the clopping. As he reached the exit, he felt his arms slip and he went sprawling out of the garden onto a paved road of some sort. He closed his eye and drew his arms to his face, expecting to be trampled by horse and rider as they saw him too late.

After a moment he heard what appeared to be a tapping foot of impatience yet he hadn't heard the rider dismount. It wasn't that big of an issue however, he was just glad the rider had stopped in time. He opened his eyes and raised his head to meet the horse rider, only to almost burst out laughing. He wasn't looking at a rider, but instead a brightly colored horse. Wait, scratch that, it was too small to be a horse. A pony then. A second later he couldn't contain his laughter any longer and burst out in hysterical laughter as the pony appeared to talk.

"What do we have here? An intruder in the Princesses’ royal garden? You're coming with me." He fixed Wilson with his sternest gaze yet the laughter did not relent. The pony moved closer and could smell the sheer reek of alcohol pouring from his mouth. "You've been drinking heavily, haven't you? No matter..."

Wilson was so busy laughing he didn't notice a soft green glow build around him, nor the fact he had left the floor and was being carried away mid air. "I think a day in a cell and some questions are in order for you." The pony said as he carried Wilson down the road into a nearby city.

Authors note: Well that's the first two chapters of this story finished so far, really proud of this writing and hope you guys enjoy it. Will take this time now to ask you to have a look at some of my other stories if you liked this. I'd also like to say I'm surprised this hasn't been filled with endless grammar errors, usually not so good with it.

Would Also like to take time and do a shout out to Wilhelm, or as he is known in IRC Changeling_Wil, thank you for giving me to the inspiration to do a House crossover fic. His page can be found here: Wilhelm's page

Chapter 3

Sergeant Lockjaw frowned all the way from the royal castle to the Canterlot central police station. Usually his post around the private gardens was a quiet one, hardly anypony ever went in or out beyond special occasions; apart from the Elements of Harmony and the princesses of course. Now not only was he having to deal with a drunk pony who was laughing constantly and loudly, causing hundreds of pairs of eyes to stare at him, but he would also have to find the breach in security. Most likely a step ladder of some sorts, but a lot of paper work would be involved. Oh, how he hated paper work.

The police station was silent when they arrived, being seven thirty it had yet to open for the day and the only staff present were the ponies that worked the night shift. Great. Now he would have to baby sit the detainee for an hour until the day shift arrived, and deal with grumpy, tired ponies whose resting had been interrupted by this loud mouthed maniac. He hoped that shoving him in a cell would calm him down, but to no avail, instead the pony just rolled around the floor laughing his muzzle off and damaging several fine pieces of prison furniture. Even more paper work.

A silent sigh escaped his lips, he could do the paper work now, while he waited... But it was still early, and he was cranky enough as it was. Nope, it could wait. It would be a problem for future Lockjaw. Instead he just sat down at a table at the end of the cells and decided to put a waiting set of well hoofed cards to use. Twenty minutes into his vigil he heard the sound of approaching hoofsteps, he lifted his head up from the game of solitaire and looked patiently towards the outside corridor. A few moments later a rather rotund pony entered the room and took a seat at the table next to, his chair squeaking in protest as it tried to take his weight. Captain Bronze Truncheon, the fattest night cop in all of Canterlot, quite possibly even the whole of Equestria.

Lockjaw smiled as he sat down, the pony may have a mortgage taken out with Pony Joe's Doughnut Shop, but he was a good sort. In his heyday he had been a local hero, stopping crime this way and that, but after suffering a nasty knife wound stopping a robbery he had been put on night duty.

"Alright, Meat?" he asked him, a small frown of annoyance crossing Bronze's face. He really didn't like the police force's nickname for him.

"Less of the lip boy, I may be only a year away from retirement but I'm still your superior."

"Yes Sir, sorry Sir."

"So I can hear you've already had an interesting morning, what is it this time? Drugs or alcohol?"

"From the smell of it, probably almost drowned himself in beer."

Bronze chuckled. He knew that drunks weren't too dangerous for police ponies like Lockjaw, but they could be rather embarrassing.

"So where did you find him?"

"Coming out of the royal gardens." he replied plainly.

Bronze let out an almighty whistle. "Ouch that’s rough, there's going to be plenty of paperwork for you. Need any help? I could always check the perimeter for you."

Lockjaw's smile increased at the offer, ever since becoming a night duty officer Truncheon tried to help people with the some of the less intensive jobs. Most likely he didn't like being kept around due to his history, he was a pony of action. It was a shame that Lockjaw was of similar ilk.

"Sorry sir, I'd like to do it myself. You know, get the hooves going and all that. Not had much activity recently." Truncheon frowned at this reply, "You could help with the paperwork though."

He rolled his eyes. "Not likely, I have enough paperwork to do around here as it is. Anyway, I'll leave you to your game, got rounds to do." With that Bronze Truncheon lifted his bulk out of the seat and struggled out of the room. Lockjaw sat and listened to the hoof steps until they became little more than a tiny patter before returning to his game.

After a few more minutes of playing Lockjaw realised that the annoying sound of hysterical laughter had stopped, the cells were quiet. Thank Celestia. Rising reluctantly from his chair, he walked over to inspect the detainee, after all, it would be unseemly if something had happened to the detainee under his supervision. One way to ruin your chances for promotion was to have your prisoners injured on you. Perhaps they had choked on their own drunken vomit? He could only hope.

He arrived at the vomit free cell to find the pony fast asleep and let out a sigh of relief, at least the wait for day staff would be more bearable. He watched the prisoner for a second and noticed small rivulets of blood on his coat; any injuries would have be dealt with before any interview could be conducted. Maybe he could get the infirmary to see if they could sober him up as well. That would help things along nicely. Turning away to continue his card game, he found his eyes drawn back to the prisoner, something was amiss about him. It took him a while to notice, but eventually it clicked: despite the pony clearly being a stallion well out of his youth he had no cutie mark. He was puzzled for a moment wondering how that happened but didn't think too much on it, if it was a source of any problems day staff could deal with it.

Wilson awoke - for the second time that day - in a different location to the one he had fallen asleep in, this time with a great deal more clarity. The cold concrete of the cell had been replaced with the reflective glass that could only be an interrogation suite, and the pain of his hangover had also been replaced with the clear sense of clarity that came with soberness.

With his mind clear he began to notice that something felt off. He could feel strange sensations all over his body, especially from his ears. They were twitching this way and that, he was certain his ears had never done that, yet here they were; turning slightly with every noise trying to source the location. They also felt funny on his head, usually his ears were on the sides, but it almost felt like they were on top.

He raised a hand to his head to feel them and came back with two shocking developments. Firstly, his ears were definitely in a different location and were more pointy than usual, almost elfin. Secondly, he realised he no longer had any hands. As he pulled his arms away from his head he just stared at the stumpy ends where his hands use to be. He thought for a moment that someone had simply chopped his hands off, but the ends were hard and bony. It took him a moment to place them, hooves. He had hooves.

"Ok House, what have you drugged me with this time?" he whispered to himself.

He reached a hand - hoof - to his neck and tried to find his pulse. It took him a while to find it - after all a thick padded hoof wasn't the best thing to feel it through, even if it only looked like one due to a drug based hallucination. Counting his heartbeat, he grumbled as he came away with an obviously wrong number. Again and again he took his pulse in frustration, it was normal. That couldn't be, if he was drugged it should be far higher or lower than usual.

As he stood up he remembered the reflective window to the side of the room, if he couldn't tell a difference in his pulse he should at least be able to see how dilated his eyes were.

He rushed over to the window but locked his legs half way, sending him flying into the window. As he picked himself back off the floor, he couldn't help but hyperventilate. Not only were his eyes not dilated, suggesting that this was no drug based hallucination, but he appeared to also be a pony.

Standing there, eyes twitching he wondered just what had happened to him, if this was a hallucination it didn't have an obvious cause. But that was the only possible explanation. This couldn’t be real, could it? Yet for a hallucination, this was remarkably well detailed. Patients who suffered hallucinations back at the hospital often experienced places they had seen or been to before. Even if he was hallucinating talking ponies, he should of been doing it in the streets of Trentville, or even Prinston. Not here, wherever here was.

As he stood there looking at his own reflection, it suddenly dawned on him that while it was quite possible, nay probable, this was a hallucination. There was also the chance it was real. After All, wasn’t he the one often questioning House? Telling him what they saw wasn’t necessarily the only things that existed?

Wilson was still standing there, his eyes twitching in sustained disbelief when the door to the room opened and a large blue pony wearing a police hat walked into the room, a small file tucked under his wings. "It's nice to see you're awake, finally."

Turning at the voice, Wilson stared at the pony, his eyes still twitching. Slowly he made his way to the table which the officer had already quickly sat down at. Surprisingly he found that sitting on the large iron chair came naturally, despite his only recent transformation. Walking wasn't completely sorted out yet, though.

The face of the officer was stony, his expression unreadable as he began to speak. "Interview of prisoner number 10854/JD, Sergent Crystal Clear presiding." It wasn't clear to who he was speaking, but based on the cop shows Wilson occasionally watched, it was probably for the benefit of a tape recorder and some ponies that sat outside the room.
"Sir, may I begin by asking your name?"

It took Wilson a moment to realise that the officer was talking to him, "Did he just call me sir? That's as a strange thing to call a prisoner."

"Wilson." He could barely speak, too busy trying to cope with all this information. Before he had considered it all a joke, but now, it seemed all too real.

"Wilson...? That's a strange name, what are you? Some kind of lawyer perhaps?"

"A doctor."

"Hmm, interesting name for a doctor. Well Wilson, are you aware it's illegal to break into the royal gardens? And are you also aware it is illegal to hide one's own cutie mark?"

"Huh?" Wilson could only be even more confused as the officer talked to him, it was hard enough to cope with the situation as it was without him asking him questions which he had no hope of answering.

"Your cutie mark Sir, it's illegal to cover, change or remove it artificially in order to hide your identity. A pony of your age will have certainly found their special skill, especially if they're a doctor. And look - your flank is completely bare.

Wilson looked down at was now his flank and agreed with the officer, his flank was bare, but as far as he was concerned it was meant to be. He had no idea what this 'cutie mark' thing was. "Cutie mark? What's a cutie mark?"

Crystal barely managed holding back a hoof from his face, the medics had said the prisoner was very drunk but they sobered him up, he should easily be able to remember what a cutie mark was. Of course there was the chance the prisoner was feigning forgetfulness to avoid prison. Even with magic, amnesia was almost impossible to detect accurately.

Taking a deep breath, he wondered how he should continue. By the time he had exhaled he had decided to play along with Wilson, perhaps he would be able to catch him out. "A cutie mark is a kind of emblem which everypony earns when they discover their special talent. For example, my mark is a piece of crystal represents when I discovered my talent was the ability to see things clearly despite the truth being hidden." As he said this he studied Wilson's face, seeing if there was any hint of nervousness at the mention of his special talent. Of course, this was a lie, his real talent was in the distinguishing between gems and determining their worth. But the prisoner wouldn't know that.

Studying Wilson's face, he looked for any sign that his explanation of his 'talent' had caused the desired effect. Sadly, his face had not changed, eyes still twitching away furiously. Crystal sighed breathlessly, this was going to be a long day.

Mid-morning sun beamed down into the royal gardens, birds chirped lazily and a lone figure began to stir behind one of the statues. Reaching up to his face with his hands, House felt his stubble before even attempting to open his eyes. "Hmm, barely anything, can't have been out for more than one night." Next he felt his body, his arms and legs appeared to be movable and his back was against something hard and stoney. All seemed in order, he vaguely remembered lying in an alleyway last night, so his back pressing against stone wasn't unexpected.

Slowly he opened his eyes, not recoiling in the light as Wilson had done. If House had learned one thing from his Vicodin addiction it was how to cope with hangovers. The view around him surprised him for a second before he smiled, "Wilson, what have you done to me this time?" In front of him was a hedge maze and by turning his head he could see what he was leaning against was a statue and not the wall of an alleyway. It was strange, looking like some sort of mythological creature, although he didn't know which mythology this creature could of come from. It was a mixture of a snake, kangaroo and bear. There were other animals as well, but he couldn't instantly place them.

Overall the statue was really strange, and something about the 'discordancy' of the creatures made him want to laugh. He chuckled as he placed his hands upon it and heaved himself into a standing position. For a moment he wondered what it was that Wilson had drugged him with for the statue felt strange under his touch, almost as if it was alive. As his touch lingered he could of sworn he could hear some pleased cackling ring about him, he shook his head, Wilson must have got him good.

Turning his attention away from the statue, he looked around him. He seemed to be in a large garden at the base of a castle. That made his smile wider, now he knew that Wilson had drugged him, after all there were no castles like this one in the US. Heck, he wasn't sure there were any castles in America. Well, that meant this was either an hallucination or a coma, either way it meant he could have some fun.

As he felt a gentle breeze a moments doubt filled him, what if this was real, but the doubt was erased when he took a step. The pain from his right leg that usually killed him was gone. This was definitely a hallucination, his leg wouldn't be pain free in reality, no matter how much he wished it would be.

Gazing around he looked to see if his subconscious had placed anyone else around. He may be drugged but it didn't mean he couldn't have some fun. He was rewarded by the sight of two creatures walking around the edge of the castle, they looked like horses except for the fact one was white and the other was lavender. Not surprised at all at this, he decided to run over to them, it was time for some fun.

Princess Celestia and her faithful student Twilight Sparkle were enjoying a small walk together through the royal gardens. Twilight was in Canterlot to collect some new books for the library back in Ponyville, and since they didn't to see each other often, she took the opportunity while in town to see her teacher.

"Princess, it's such a lovely; bright; sunny day today, you've really outdone yourself."

"Thank you Twilight, but you should know by now I simply raise it in the morning and set it at night. I do not determine it's warmth or light, it decides that of its own accord."

Twilight smiled nervously at her. "I know, but without you the sun wouldn't be there to shine. And it's not like I can thank the sun itself."

"Very true, my student. I am glad, by the way, that you were able to tear yourself away from your studies and come and visit me. I trust your research into the magic of friendship is going well?"

"It's going excellent, Princess, did you read my last friendship report?"

Celestia's face broke into a smile, "Why of course. Might I ask, has Cloud Kicker managed to get rid of all that jelly yet?"

It was Twilight's turn to smile. "Yes, but I don't think she'll be going near any wasps nests for a while."

Celestia chuckled, "Well, at least she learned a valuable lesson about a friend’s personal space. Do you know if Blossomforth will be alright?"

"She should be, she's already met the psychiatrist three times."

"Oh? How is Rorschach by the way?"

"He's fine, although the time Pinkie visited him almost made him need to visit a shrink himself." Celestia simply nodded in response, suddenly focusing on something other than her student. "Princess, what are you...?" Twilight looked beyond her teacher, there was a weird creature walking across the lawn towards them. Her first instinct was to panic, but since the princess didn't move, she felt there was no real threat. "W-what is that?"

"I don't know Twilight, but he seems harmless enough."

"He? How could you possibly know what gender it is?"

"The beard?"

Twilight looked down at the grass, ashamed. "Oh, of course."

Looking down at her student, Celestia chuckled a little. "Don't worry Twilight, I could be wrong. Anyway why don't we say hello to our guest?"

"Are you sure? He might be dangerous."

"Twilight, have you ever seen something like him before?"

"No..."

"Well then, he might be lost here and all alone, or maybe he's here from a foreign land. Either way, it would be rude to ignore him."

Twilight nodded her head in silent agreement. "Be careful."

"Don't worry Twilight, what's the worst that can happen?"

Images of Chrysalis and the Changelings instantly filled her mind, but before she could mention anything to the Princess, Celestia walked away.

Sweat dripped off House despite the short distance he had been running. He thought for a moment that given it being a hallucination that he would of been in better shape, unfortunately he still had the physique that he had gained due to his relative unhealthy lifestyle and long term disability.

As he ran, he saw that the horses had seem to have spotted him and were walking in his direction. Getting closer he noticed that not only were they not a traditional colour, but they also had extra embellishments. The violet one had a horn like a unicorn, and the larger white one had wings as well as a horn. Wilson must have drugged him very well, he doubted his subconscious would normally be able come up with this kind of hallucination.

When he was only a short distance away the large white horse surprised him. It stopped where it was and opened its mouth as if to speak. "Welcome!" it shouted, House tripping over in response. ‘Ok, this hallucination has got quite a lot of detail’ he thought to himself as he slid across the grass.

Picking himself off the ground for the second time in such a short space of time he could've sworn he heard laughter. "Princess, is he alright?"

"Oh I should think so, Twilight. Looks like he's used to rough times."

"What's that supposed to mean?" House had moved beyond being surprised at talking horses, after all it was his mind and it was a hallucination.

"Ooh, it can talk," said the the violet mare excitedly. She was clapping her hooves together in a manner more human than horse.

"Of course I can talk! The question should be, how come you can talk? Then again, you are a projection of my subconscious... So I guess being able to communicate with you makes sense."

Both Celestia and Twilight looked oddly at his outburst. "Your subconscious? I assure you, strange stallion that I am as real as you are."

"Of course you would say that, Amber did practically the same when I hallucinated her."

"Princess?" asked Twilight, a clear mark of concern on her face. "Is he alright? He seems a little out of his mind."

"Of course I'm out of my mind, like Icarus I'm too high and imagining that I'm beside a large castle talking to two horses. Soon my wings will melt and I'll wake up, and knowing Wilson I'll be naked in a hotel room with my Vicodin replaced with breath mints." To House's surprise the horses didn't react like his hallucination usually did, instead they seemed to get rather annoyed at him. Or angry in the case of the smaller violet one.

"Firstly, we are ponies. Secondly, we are not hallucinations. I agree however, that you're drugged out of your mind, you must be to talk to the Princess like this.

"Twilight, please, he may just be confused. There's no need to go overboard." She said, her smile still a constant on her face, if a bit frazzled. "Now, what makes you think you're hallucinating?"

"Apart from waking up in a land of talking Ponies?" The princess nodded, "Well the fact that my leg no longer feels like I'm being constantly stabbed and that I can do this."

"Do what?" asked Twilight and Celestia in unison.

"This," said House as he quickly climbed onto Celestia's back. "If this was real I wouldn't be able to horse ride, one of the skills I have never partaken of."

Twilight stood stunned as this creature just sat on her rulers back, as if she was some sort of slave. Celestia however, reacted calmly and smiling enveloped him in a field of her magic, plucking him from her back and placing him down on the ground, where he stood immobile.

"Twilight, would you be so kind as to go and bring over a guard please?" The violet mare nodded and walked off, anger seeping from her as she left. After watching Twilight walk of, Celestia turned her attention to House. "Now I don't know what it is you're playing at, but you're not hallucinating and until you accept that fact I think it would be wise to place you somewhere you won't be a nuisance and cause further embarrassment to yourself."

"Of course I'm hallucinating, how else do you explain pastel coloured talking ponies?"

Celestia just fixed him with a gaze and didn't answer him, standing in silence until Twilight and a guard returned.

"Princess, are you ok?" asked the guard, who appeared to be a male pony of some kind. His fur pure white and mane and tail blue.

"Of course I am, Shining Armour, could you please escort our guest here to the west wing. I think he may be in the need of some alone time, and can you get a physician to have a look at him, I think he may have had too much to drink last night."

Shining Armour nodded as he picked House up in his own field of magic, taking him towards the castle, leaving Celestia and Twilight alone.

"Princess, what makes you think he was drinking?"

"He reeked of alcohol, couldn't you tell?" Twilight shook her head. "Well, I guess you're hardly around the stuff. And let this be a lesson to you. Drinking in excess leads to embarrassing situations."

"Yes princess, may I ask, what will happen to him?"

"Hmm, I think I'll let him cool off in a cell for a while, maybe he will be easier to talk to when he's sobered up. But let's not worry about that, we have a beautiful day and a whole garden to explore." With that Celestia walked ahead, leaving Twilight marveling at her ability to move on. Something she realised she couldn't do so easily, something seemed off about that creature, and she knew he was going to cause some trouble.

Chapter 4

House nursed his head against cold steel, a gentle summer breeze bringing the sweet smell of honeysuckle to his nose. His view from the barred window was limited, it being placed high into the room and at the outside ground level. Despite this, he could see a large beautiful garden. Probably a different part of the garden he woke up in earlier.

He tore his gaze away from the small barred window and looked around the room. It was sparingly furnished, a simple chair and table sat in the middle of the cell. A single bed sat against the wall, it's pristine white duvet, pillows and sheets seemed rather luxurious for a prison cell in a castle dungeon. The only other fixture in the room was a small bookshelf on the opposite side of the room to the bed. It only contained three books, all of which seemed to come from some sort of Indiana Jones style series. At least that's what it looked like from the covers.

As he stood there waiting, part of him was tempted to reach out for one of them, particularly the one entitled Daring Doo and the Pyromare's Puzzle. His arm twitched but he otherwise held it in check. No matter how interesting the book seemed he just couldn't start reading it. To do so would mean at least part of him believed this was real.

This mental struggle had been happening inside him for the last hour and half, ever since he was incarcerated in this room. His cynical side was screaming at him that this was all fake, that he should be doing what he could to break out and have some 'fun'. At the same time, his more logical side was strangely telling him that this could be real. To begin with he had just dismissed that side of him off hand. After all, how could such a place exist?

Then again, House had hallucinated before. And while it had seemed real then, it had been nothing like this. His hallucinations had merely constructed around everyday events or wish fulfillment. This fell into neither category. Unless his subconscious had been secretly replaced by Wilson's, which would be far more believable than the rest of this. Still, the difference between this and his previous hallucinations was enough to give him pause.

Maybe, just maybe this was real.

A scraping noise outside his cell brought him out of his internal struggle. That was strange, the door to his cell appeared to be made of oak, it's thickness blocking out all of the sound from outside. He couldn't even hear the guard that was stationed outside. So what on earth could that noise be?

The question was answered a second later as a second scraping noise was accompanied by the creak of the door.

"... you guard. I'll knock on the door when I'm finished."

"Very well Princess. But be careful, we don't know what he's capable of."

"Of course. Now, leave us be."

After the brief exchange, another large pony walked into the cell. Her coat was a dark blue, and her mane was black and spangled with white specks which looked somewhat like stars. Strangely, it blew about as if caught in a gentle breeze, yet being inside there was no wind to speak of.

She stood there for a moment, her eyes studying him with a sharp intensity.

"Oh great another Princess. What are you meant to be? Princess of the night?" Sarcasm was thick in his tone, although perhaps fortunately for him, she didn't seem to notice.

"But of course. I am Luna, Princess of the night, and sister to Celestia."

"Luna? Celestia? What kind of stupid names are those?"

Luna just stood there, her face blank. Not showing either anger or annoyance at such disrespect. "Well then, what is your name?"

"House, Dr House."

A chuckle escaped her lips. "House? that's a strange name for a stallion. And a Doctor? Do you fix broken chimneys or something?"

"Only if the chimney is a metaphor for the human waste system," he retorted. "Besides, House is a much better name than Luna. At least my name doesn't seem to promote me as an entity with only one trait."

"Luna is a fine name, and it's normal to have a name that is relevant to one's talent. I mean it confuses ponies when their talent ends up being related to their name, but it's completely normal. What's absurd is having a name like, House, and yet not doing anything with houses."

"Wait, so you're telling me people - I mean ponies - here have names relevant to what they end up doing in life?" Luna nods. "So that 'Twilight' I saw outside with your sister, is she a vampire or something?"

Luna looks at him somewhat offended. "Of course not, where would you come up with an association as silly as the name Twilight and a vampire? You're lucky it is me meeting with you now and not my sister. She wouldn't take so kindly to the mocking of her student."

"What's the worst she could do? This is most likely a hallucination, so I'm not really afraid of anything she could do to me. Besides, with my imagination, it would probably end up involving a pole and strippers. Not something I'm adverse to."

There was a short silence after House spoke. She looked intrigued at what he had said, although a bit appalled at the same time. Maybe something to do with the mention of strippers and her sister together.

"Hmm, so you think you're hallucinating? That would explain the jumping on my sister's back." A rather large smile appeared on her face as she said that. "By the way, that was hilarious. It was worth being kept up by overdue states of court just to see that." She gave a chuckle, it's sound so infectious that House couldn't help but grin.

The laughter only lasted a short while, after which Luna paused to wipe a tear from her eye before continuing to speak. "As funny as that was, I can assure you that this is not a hallucination. And, I would advise you against doing actions like that in future. As rough as you are, you seem to be funny and I would hate to see a creature so... 'unique' get into to much trouble."

"How can I trust you when you say this isn't a hallucination?"

"Well, I guess if it's a hallucination you can't. But then again, what's the harm in playing along? Surely there is a bigger risk to you if you continue to act like it is one when it isn't than if you act like it isn't when it is?"

She had a point, House conceded in his mind. Maybe it was easier to play along, and if this was a hallucination it would end when it goes beyond what his mind could believe. And if it wasn't? Well he was making it easier on himself. He smiled, making things easier for himself wasn't something he usually did. Then again, he had done a lot recently which wasn't usual of him.

He was about to admit the logic behind her words to Luna when he realized something seemed off. Something about what she said troubled him. He put his hands instinctively into his jacket pocket, reaching out of habit for his bottle of Vicodin as he tried to locate what bothered him about her statement.

His rummaging in his jacket seemed to interest Luna, who looked on intently as he fumbled clumsily checking various pockets, turning out each one in succession. She was curious, after all his pockets were emptied before being chucked into the dungeon, so what was he looking for? She was tempted to say something about it when House stopped his searching and instead turned his attention to Luna, a gleam in his eye.

"You said unique? What did you mean by that?"

"Well, what does somepony normally when they say that? I mean you're unique. You're the only creature like yourself I have ever seen. Like some sort of scaleless dragon."

House was mildly curious about the mentioning about dragons, but stored that question away for a later conversation. Right now he needed to question her on him being alone. Surely Wilson should've been here with him? Then again he hadn't seen him when he woken up earlier.

"So there wasn't someone else found in the garden?"

"Someone else? You mean like you?" House nodded, and Luna shook her head. "Sorry, no. Why should there have been?"

"Just a friend of mine, if this is all real, then we were together when whatever brought me here did whatever it did. I was just thinking it might've brought him as well."

She looked at him, he seemed really downcast about the absence of his friend. It was something she had experienced, not too long ago. She had experienced the crushing loneliness of not having a friend last Nightmare Night, when all the towns ponies she visited had run away in fright. Apparently, ponies still hadn't got over all that Nightmare Moon and the trying to drown Equestria in total night stuff. It had hurt.

Thinking back, she couldn't blame them. Until that night she hadn't really been out of the palace since her freedom from her dark self. And she had been quite a bitch she had to admit when she had been Nightmare Moon. Without visiting ponies, it was easy for them to forget she had been freed in the first place.

Luckily there was one pony who hadn't forgotten. Twilight Sparkle, her sister's student who had been staying in that town - Ponyville - to study the magic of friendship. It had been her, a pony who had experienced similar friendlessness, who had gone out of her way to make friends with Luna and help her get along with the other townsfolk. An act of charity she would not soon forget.

Now here she was, standing in front of a creature - what word had he said earlier? Human? - who could use a similar act of kindness. She wanted to help him, but her sister had put him here. She couldn't go against Celestia's authority. Besides, she overheard the mention of Twilight interrogating him. Apparently, her sister and her sister's student wanted to find out more about him.

"Well, I'll keep an ear out for any information, you have my word as Princess." She held out her hoof for him to shake, but he simply looked at it, eventually she put it down rather embarrased. "Do you mind telling me his name so I know who to look out for?"

"Wilson, Dr James Wilson."

"I will keep an eye out." She smiled, "anyway, I need to take my leave. I have royal matters to attend to and a bed calling me." Luna turned and knocked on the door, it was opened rather quickly and a grey coated guard could be seen over her shoulder, his hooves raised to attention.

"By the way, I think my sister's student may be coming to ask some questions later. Just a heads up." With that she was gone, leaving House to his thoughts.

He just stood there for a moment, thoroughly confused. Now he felt even less sure on this all being some sort of crazy hallucination. Not that it mattered, the princess had made sense. It would be more logical to behave as if it was real anyway, less consequences. Normally he would consider pushing his mind over the edge, but if his mind had come up with talking ponies then that edge would be pretty hard to find. No, far better to act as if it was real.

Besides, he could still be an ass.

With his thinking over, he walked over to the book case and selected the book that had caught his fancy earlier. Might as well not be bored before Twilight came to talk to him.

Lockjaw slammed a hoof to his face in frustration, ignoring the pain that formed on his already bruising face. "You want me to release him? But sir he should be sent a psychiatric ward!" He was standing face to face with Lieutenant Day Break, head of the day shift force of the station.

"Really? Why is that?" Asked the yellow stallion, his voice calm despite a subordinate questioning his orders.

"Because he believes he should be something called a human!"

"And? Didn't you hear what the psychiatrist said?"

"Yes, but.."

"So what did he say?"

"He said that despite the claims of suddenly coming here from another world and being randomly turned into a pony he exhibits none of the normal signs of insanity."

"And?"

"And that his mind was clear of any abnormalities on a medical scan. But sir, how can somepony who believes they have lived a whole life as a 'human' not be insane?"

"Several reasons; the psychiatrist said it could be affect of the alcohol from last night, maybe he had mixed it with some drugs and this is the result. If so, his normal memories should return as the drugs wear off."

"Shouldn't we keep him here until he's completely off the drugs then?"

"I believe he may already be improving, what do you think?" Day Break indicated with his hoof to the one way window that looked into the interrogation suite. "He's definitely a lot calmer than before. His eyes have even stopped twitching. I think he should be fine to let go."

"But sir..."

"What?"

"He had no house keys or identification of any kind, no wallet and no money on his persons. How will he get home?"

"Well, if he has no wallet or money, he can't of come from outside of Canterlot. Most likely he'll be seen by one of his friends or family. Besides, once the drug has worn off fully he should be able to make his way home on his own. And a family member should be able to let him in."

"And if he has no family?"

"It's not illegal to break your own door down."

"Ok sir." Said a now dejected Lockjaw. "I'll release the detainee."

"See that you do," a smile formed on Day Break's face. He turned away and began to walk away before turning his head to face Lockjaw again. "You know what would be interesting?"

"What sir?"

"If what he claimed, was true. I haven't had much excitement around here since the changelings. I think a creature being brought here mysteriously from another world might cause some fun." With that, he continued walking away towards another part of the station. The task of day staff being far more busy than night.

Lockjaw turned back to the window and looked at Wilson before sighing. He felt like what he was about to do was wrong, but orders were orders. He walked over to the door and placed a hoof against the metal, pausing only to sigh, he pushed it open and went in.

"Detainee Wilson. It looks like you're free to go..."

[A/N]: Well I know what you're thinking, that was short. And it was. Really sorry about that. In my defense it was all I had got done as a solid segment before revision and exams and I decided to give it to you guys than have you wait ages for more. Should set some plot up :D Hope you enjoyed it and are eagerly awaiting more.

Chapter 5

Slam The door to the police station shut behind him and Wilson was left alone on the top of a set of steps leading down to what appeared to a very busy street. Everywhere he looked there were ponies involved in different activities. From ponies standing at the side and chatting to each other - to others eating lunch in nearby cafe's or shopping at the market.

He hadn't noticed it earlier - he was to busy laughing in a drunken state - but this must be a very large capital city. He knew it had a royal castle - and apparently - Princesses, but he didn't know it was this big. Being at the top of the stair case, he could see across the rooftops of the nearby buildings. The roofs seemed to go on for as far as he could see.

Sighing, he began the walk down the stairs. Unfortunately his four legged walking skills weren't exactly up to scratch yet and he soon went flying down the stairs. His head bouncing on every other step as he went, and he landed with a painful crunch at the bottom.

"Oh my gosh, are you ok mister?"

Groaning, he looked up to see a small orange filly with purple mane and tail standing before him. The mark of concern in her voice in opposition to the smile on her face.

"Wow, now that's what ah call a fall."

A second filly joined the first, this one had a coat of yellow and a mane of red. She was followed by a third filly, this one of white with a two tone mane. They were accompanied with a orange mare.

"Now now you two, leave this fella' alone. I'm sure the last thing he needs after a rough tumble like that is to see you two crowding him."

The mare, clearly the leader of the group, offered a hoof to Wilson who willingly accepted it.

"Thank you miss?"

"Applejack. And it's no problem, pleased to be of service. You alright?"

"Yeh, I'm good thanks. Just a little unsteady on my fee-hooves at the moment."

"Don't you worry yourself none, we all get a little unsteady on your hooves sometimes, if you catch my drift." She gave Wilson a sly wink, "Anyway, I would love to stay an' talk, but I got a lot of shopping to be doing."

"Er, right then well thanks again for the... hoof."

"Don't mention, just make sure you keep yourself safe."

"I aim to."

With that, Applejack tipped her hat and walked off, the fillies standing gawping at Wilson before reluctantly following her and leaving Wilson on his own at the bottom of the steps. He looked around at the thronging crowd and it seemed that no one else paid the fall and subsequent exchange any notice. Almost as if this was a regular occurrence. But then again as far as Wilson was concerned it could well be.

Sighing Wilson wondered what to do next, if someone had noticed it might have helped him struck up a conversation and maybe get some help. As it was, he was alone, stuck in a foreign world as a pony. What was he to do?

He gazed again across the crowd that filled the busy market space. Maybe he try and talk to some have them or he could listen in and at least try to find out some more snippets of information about this place.

"It's not much of a plan, but it's a start."

Carefully, he started placing one hoof in front of the other and slowly walked into market. As he walked he was completely unaware of the three small sets of eyes staring at him from behind a nearby cart.

"Hey, Scootaloo, did ah see what ah thought ah saw?"

"I don't know Applebloom, depends what you thought you saw."

"Ah don't think he had a cutie mark."

"I think you're right. I don't remember seeing anything."

"But Cheerilee said everypony gets their cutie mark. If this guy doesn't have one, does that mean we might not get ours?!"

"I don't know Sweetie, but I reckon we can find out?"

"How?"

"Easy, we follow him and try to find out as much about him as we can, maybe we will get a chance to ask him some questions."

"But what about my sister?"

"Oh you worry too much, Applebloom, we're in Canterlot. What exactly can happen to us? There are royal guards everywhere."

"Ah don't know, Applejack, can get a bit angry."

"Scootaloo's right, what's there to worry about? Unless you're chicken?"

"Sweetie, of course ahm not, we all know that Scootaloo's the chicken."

"Hey!"

"Shh. Look, he's walking away, we need to follow quickly."

"Alright, but you owe me an apology later."

With that, the three fillies quickly looked at each other before quickly screaming, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Super Spy Followers, Yay!" and quickly following after the strange stallion.

A large cackling laugh echoed around the white void that was the in-between of Earth and Equestria. The facial features owner of the laugh, a large twisted creature of chaos known as a Draconicus, were twisted in an expression that was a mixture between smug and absolute bliss.

"Oh, I can't believe how much fun this is. Well actually, I can. After all, this was my plan." The draconicus paused his mixture of hysterical laughter and chatting just long enough to wipe tears from his eyes. "The looks on their faces, so confused with what was happening. It fills me with such glee, such perfect chaos."

"You know we're right here, Discord, there's no need to refer to us in the third person." The voice was strangely high pitched for the entity that spoke it. This second voice came from a bright pink stallion, a frown highlighted his face and his eyes were drawn tight making almost impossible to see them. There was just enough of his eyes showing to tell that one was a shocking shade of yellow or gold while the other was silver.

"Yeh, you do this every time." A third voice joined the conversation. This time it was a rather deep and booming voice, belonging to a Manticore with a hat perched on top of his head. "Why can't you just be more gracious in victory."

This outburst from his two companions caused Discord to laugh harder.

"Victory? You believe this is victory?" He indicated with his arms to the void around them. "I hardly call this small amount of chaos a victory. After all, we're still stuck here."

"Stuck here? Of course we're stuck here." Said the pink stallion. "Winning a game of cards is hardly going to change that circumstance. A circumstance which may I remind you is all your fault."

"Yeh," agreed the manticore, throwing down his cards in disgust. "You get us trapped here with you, and when you got out for a stretch you didn't even try to get us out. And what's worse is that you make us play endless games of cards and act so immature when you win. Of course you win, you're a bloody demigod."

Despite the verbal assault, Discord smiled broadly and held out his arms. "Fluffles, Timmy, why do you have to get all worked up? I'm sorry I didn't release you when I managed to escape this place, but there is a perfectly valid explanation. It's simply I was sent here by the elements and you weren't"

"So..?" asked the stallion.

"So... When the connection between the elements and Celestia weakened, I was able to escape. You guys however, were bound directly by the princess herself, no elements involved. Because of that, I would need to get rid of her to help you guys escape. And I don't do killing."

"Makes sense," said the Manticore. "But it was still your fault we got stuck here."

"Really, Timmy? My fault? May I remind you that it was you who approached me to ask for a way to become more intelligent and civilized. I gave it to you in the form of that hat on the condition you became one of my 'assistants'. You're the one who agreed."

"And me?" The pink stallion glared at him. "I definitely didn't agree to be your 'assistant'."

"Of course you did, Fluffles. At least according to the law of the land at the time."

"According to the laws of the land? My father lost me to you in a poker game when I was two years old!"

"And at that age, your Dad had legal ability to make your choices for you. Since he chose to give you to my service, you also chose to serve me. Besides, you weren't complaining when I was in charge."

"Of course I wasn't complaining when you were in charge, we lived in a Celestia damn palace and lived off chocolate milk."

"Right then, so you can stop... You can stop..." He opened his mouth to try and speak a third time but something made him stop.

Fluffles and Timmy stood staring at Discord as he stroked his beard as if he was thinking about something. Suddenly his expression changed from thought into a cheeky smile as he clapped his hands together.

"I have a feeling there is something exciting to watch on the television."

As his companions opened their mouths to ask what a television set was, a remote control appeared in his claw and a large, black, widescreen television popped into existence in view of all three. The two of them were baffled by this contraption, wondering what it's purpose was when Discord fiddle with the remote and the screen sparked into life.

The scene being played out on the screen captivated all of them and soon caused Discord to burst our in laughter. All three of them watched as a strange bi-pedal creature woke up next to Discord's statue and moved out into the grounds. They continued to watch, and Discord found it particularly funny when this strange creature tried to ride Celestia like some common mule.

"Oh, this is absolutely priceless," said Discord as he pressed replay and watched the scene over and over again. "Whoever is behind this is a pure genius, I'd tip my cap to them if I had one."

"You mean you're not behind this?"

"Sadly, no, Fluffles. But I can appreciate greatness when I see it. Hmm, I wonder who could have possibly pulled something like this off."

As Discord fell into thought, they continued to watch over and over again as the creature tried to ride on the princess' back. Spending particular focus towards the look of annoyance on that really boring student of hers.

House was sitting in a chair when the guards came to get him later that afternoon. He was halfway through what was the first of the Daring Do books when there was a sharp knocking on the cell's door and it subsequently opened.

"Ah, are you here for my dinner order? I would ask for a steak but I think it would be hard to acquire one here. So, how about a four cheese omlette?"

Inside the doorway were three unamused guards, two of which quickly moved over and roughly grabbed him by the arms while the other stood in the doorway in case he tried something silly.

"Twilight Sparkle will see you now."

"Ok, so you're not the waiting staff. Alright, well if you're not going to feed me can you at least tell me if I'm suitably dressed for this interview?"

"Oh you're dressed fine." Said the guard holding him on his left.

"Although you might want some glasses." Said the one on his right.

"I know she's the princess' student, but she can't be that 'bright' can she?"

"Oh it's not for her, but for where you're probably going to be going."

"Why, where will I be going?"

"You'll see. Lets just say, it'll be positively Radiating."

"Yeh, if things go like we hope it will be solar so long."

With that, all three guards erupted into laughter which slightly nerved House.

"Solar? Radiating? They couldn't possibly mean? No of course not."

Chapter 6

House was sweating like a pig and had to look out of squinted eyes and yet he almost wanted to laugh. He couldn't imagine a more stereotypical interrogation scene if he tried.

He was sat in a wooden chair with a hot, blinding light bearing down on him. Across a rather small table sat a small violet pony, the same one from that morning that had been walking next to the large white one. He couldn't see her now, she was hidden in shadow. But he had managed to see her quickly before the light had been turned on.

For the past five minutes, ever since the accompanying guards had magically bound him to his chair and had left him, the room had filled with silence apart from the sound of the grinding of teeth. Right now, this 'Twilight Sparkle' was making Tritter seem civil. Eventually, when it appeared she had left House to sweat long enough, she pulled back the light just enough for her face to not be incomplete darkness.

"So..." She barked. "Who, or should I say, what are you?"

House didn't answer, he simply shook his head and then looked her in the eyes.

"You will answer me. One way or another, you will. I have ways to make ponies talk."

"What kind of line is that? 'I have ways to make ponies talk'."

"Aha, see, I told you I could make you talk."

"Please, you can hardly expect me to stay quiet and miss that chance to mock you. I mean seriously, that's the line you use?" House sighed.

"What's wrong with that line?" Twilight quipped back before slamming her hooves against the table.

"For starters, it makes you sound like some cheap super villain from a comic book or spy novel. Secondly, if you really had ways to make ponies talk, I doubt you waste time and not straight up use them. Thirdly, do I look like a pony to you?!" Twilight flinched.

"Well... no, of course not. You look more like," Twilight rubbed her forehooves together. "Like one of the chimps my friend Fluttershy has looked after, only with less hair." House's face formed into a frown.

"I guess that's a close answer, given Evolution anyway, but no I'm not a chimp. And I don't appreciate being called one."

"What are you then?"

"I'm a human."

"A humwhat?"

"No, not a humwhat, a human. Seriously what do they teach you at school?"

Twilight sighed, a slight frown appearing on her face.

"Oh you know: advanced levitation; inanimate transformation; and time travel. All the usual's." Her tone was slick with sarcasm.

"And bitchiness?"

"Not yet, that's covered next year. Along with dealing with strange alien beings that come out of nowhere and try to ride the royalty, and your personal tutor, like a some sort of rocking toy."

House smiled.

"I'm impressed, I didn't think your species had developed sarcasm yet. From the prison your society looked so simple, magic aside."

"The feelings mutual."

House smiled.

"So I can rattle your chains, and poke me with a corner of the soft pillows. Where do we go from here?"

Twilight rolled her eyes.

"You're still here for interrogation." Her horn glowed for a moment and a zip appeared across House's lips, leaving him surprised and silenced. His shock brought a smile to her face and she leaned forward towards him. "Now, shall we continue?"

Three brightly coloured fillies crawled carefully through the long grass. Their heads daubed by with crudely made hats fashioned from grass.

"Melody to Witherwings, I think I can spot the target."

"Where?"

"Where, what?"

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

"Witherwings to Melody, where do you spot the target?"

"Over by the lake, Witherwings, over."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Sweetie Belle," Sweetie Belle coughed. "Sorry, Melody, decided it would be nice to have spy names."

"Really? Well what's my spy name then?"

Sweetie Belle rubbed her chin, deep in thought.

"Hmm, how about woodcraft?"

"Woodcraft? Since when does that describe me?"

"Alright, how about Stormbuck?"

"That sounds much better, Melody, Stormbuck it is."

"Would you two be quiet, you're going to give us away." Hissed an angry Scootaloo.

Both Sweetie Belle and Applebloom looked down at the ground ashamed.

"Sorry."

"Sorry, Scoots."

"Fine, now, lets get closer. Lets see if we can get to that tree near the bench."

Wilson sighed as he awkwardly sat on a bench beside Canterlot's largest and only lake. Around him he could hear the sound of families playing and laughing together in the afternoon sun. Occasionally he would quickly glance other the happy sets of ponies before resuming his staring at the rippling surface of the water.

"All alone, again..." He muttered to himself. He shivered despite the heat of the day as he mulled over the events of the day. A very strange and depressing day. He was alone on an alien planet, stuck as a pony with no one, not even House at his side.

On that note, where was his friend? Was House here somewhere, lost like him? Or, was he alone here in this strange world? Wilson lay back on the bench and sighed again as he thought about the prospects. While he didn't want to be alone here, he knew House wasn't suited to this environment. Everything seemed so happy and innocent, a far cry from the 'Everybody Lies' world that House inhabited.

"Where do I go from here?" he asked himself. "I have no money, no job, and if I tried to explain my situation to someone they would just think I'm mad." A small tear started to work it's way down his muzzle. "If I was a human, maybe I could convince them, but as a pony, I have no chance."

Closing his eyes, Wilson began to cry, all afternoon he had tried to find someone he could start a conversation with and one who might believe his tale. Unfortunately, everypony he spoke too was busy working or unwilling to talk. Even his attempts to eavesdrop to gather information failed, all he overheard were conversations about the weather or the price of vegetables. All he ended up learning was that the currency they used was bits.

For what seemed like an age, he lay there quietly weeping.

CRASH

Wilson fell off the bench in shock, quickly stopping his crying as he fell face first into the dirt.

"What on earth?!"

His eyes go wide after picking his face from the dirt when he notices a twitching, broken branch lying on the ground at the base of the nearest tree. For a moment, he stood in silence, before realizing that the twitching was being caused by three young ponies.

Getting to his hooves with a creek, Wilson made his way over to the branch, pinned beneath it were three rather familiar looking fillies, frantically trying to get out from underneath the branch.

"Hey mister?! Any chance you can give us a helping hoof? Please?" asked the adorable little white filly.

"Err, sure."

Clumsily, he placed his hooves against the branch and pushed. Several times he had to pause and reposition himself, he was still trying to get used to his forelimbs ending in stumps rather than digits and it made tasks feel more awkward than they should. Still, it didn't take too long to move the branch and soon the fillies were brushing themselves off.

"Are you three alright? None of you are hurt at all?"

The three of them quickly glanced over themselves and each other before shaking their heads.

"Nah, we're alright mister," said the purple headed filly whose name he remembered as Scootaloo.

"Yeah, thanks for the help. That branch would have taken us a while to move, and it was really scratchy."

"Ya know, you're a lot more like ya sister than ya think, Sweetie."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Both Wilson and Scootaloo stood awkwardly at the side as the two other fillies devolved into constant gainsaying.

"Um, are you girls always like this?"

She nodded her head.

"I guess so, although sometimes it can get a little more physical." Wilson chuckled.

"I know what you mean, I find it hard to think it's possible to have a friend without the average fight. At leas, it's hard not to have fights with my friend."

She smiled up at him, "Your friend sounds interesting."

"Oh, 'interesting' is the correct word, alright." Wilson smiled briefly before quickly frowning again. "The problem is, I have no idea where he is."

"Oh, have you lost him?"

"I'm not too sure," he sighed. "I mean, I know he isn't here right now, but I'm not sure if he's here, at all."

"He's not here and you're not sure he's not here? That makes no sense."

"It's a complicated tale. But enough about me, where's that adult pony that was looking after you? Applejack, was it? Why aren't you with her?"

"We snuck away from her."

"Why? To climb trees? Surely you don't need to sneak away to do that?"

"Well, in my defense climbing the tree wasn't my idea."

"Then why did you climb it?"

"Applebloom thought we might get a better view of you from up there." Wilson's jaw opened wide. Scootaloo looked at him, scratching her head in bemusement. "Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"You climbed that tree to get a better view of me?!"

Celestia stood on her balcony over looking the city, her lips curled up into a clear smile. Silently she faced out upon her city, her eyes closed and resting the front half of her body on the railing. It had been a weird day, she mused. Not only had her student finally beaten her at chess, but they had been ambushed in the gardens by a creature she had never seen before, an alien to Equestria it seemed. Although where he had come from and how he had got here, she couldn't quite be sure.

Not that it mattered where he came from of course, no, what mattered was what he was here for. The safety of her ponies was of her prime concern. She wasn't worried of course, he was safely locked away in the palace dungeons, her student interrogating him.

For a moment her thoughts drifted to Twilight, working hard no doubt in the cold stone room to pry any information she could from him. Celestia wasn't completely sure that Twilight would succeed, at least not fully, and it was likely she would have to finish it up afterwards. In fact, many would probably question her sending her student to do something so official as an interrogation. But those ponies didn't know what she knew, what was to come and how essential this experience would be for Twilight. Even if she didn't succeed, she would develop some understanding and hopefully some new skills that would aid her in years to come.

A movement below caught her eye, a orange pony that she recognized and a royal guard were walking up the path towards the palace, deep in discussion. Applejack had arrived for her meeting.

Celestia smiled and got up from her position on the railing but paused as a sudden rushing sensation went through her head and her vision began to swim. She shook her head to try and bring herself back to her senses but that only seemed to make her dizzier. Suddenly the distance between her and the ground below looked far more dangerous as a bout of vertigo hit her hard and she turned towards cool safe interior of her palace.

As she turned however, her hoof slipped and she found herself moving backwards instead of forwards. She tried to stop her movement even as backed up against the railings but the dizziness and pain in her head seemed to stop her hooves from obeying her.

What happened next passed in a blur for Celestia, one moment she was standing backed against the railing looking longingly towards the entrance to the balcony and the next she was falling towards the ground, the wind rushing through her mane and the cries of the ponies below sounding distance.

For a brief moment, she looked down at the oncoming ground wondering why her wings weren't working. The moment quickly passed and Celestia ended her descent with a sickening crunch.

Author's Note

Heya guys, I just wanted to put some notes here. This chapter hasn't been edited, it will be in near future but otherwise will remain like this. Why am I releasing like this? Because it's been six months and you guys deserve a update, no matter now small. Hope you enjoy. Sorry for the long wait.

Chapter 7

A loud scream pierced through the dungeon, interrupting the interrogation.

"What was that?" asked House.

"I-I don't k-know..." stammered Twilight. "Do either of you know?" Twilight questioned the guards.

"Probably one of the maids dropped whatever they were carrying, no need to worry Miss Twilight."

"No need to worry? Why on earth would a maid scream like that when they only dropped something?" mused House.

"Oh they think they will be sent to the moon," laughed one of the guards.
"It's actually quite funny really," chuckled the other.

"I don't get it."

"I-it doesn't m-matter, H-house, lets just c-carry on with..." Twilight gulped hard, "this." Twilight took a few seconds to compose herself before opening her mouth to speak.

Knock Knock

"Ahhh! What is it with these interruptions? Can either of you found out what's happening?"

The guards looked at each other for a second before one of them turned, opened the door and headed outside. The remaining three waited in silence for the guard to return. He did so, moments later, looking far more solemn.

"Miss Sparkle, you presence is immediately required at the royal infirmary."

"I'm a bit busy interrogating the prisoner, can't it wait?"

"I'm afraid this is a little bit more important, Miss Sparkle, it's about Princess Celestia."

"The Princess? Why? What's happened?" The guard bit his lip and looked down. "What has happened to the Princess!?"

"... There's been an accident." Twilight's eyes went wide, "There's no need to worry, Miss Sparkle, she is unconscious but at the same time she's stable."

For a moment, the room was silent apart from the rapid hyperventilation Twilight was performing. Eventually she managed to get herself under enough control to talk between breaths.

"I... Want... To... See... Her..."

"That's understandable, Miss. The infirmary is already expecting your arrival."

"All right," said Twilight, now composed enough to breath properly. "I guess you should probably escort the prisoner back to his cell until I'm able to resume interrogation."

"Actually, MIss, he has to come as well."

"What?!"

"Princess Luna has requested an audience with him."

"Why?!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle, she hasn't given her reason. She only said it was important."

"Fine... he comes with us! But make sure he doesn't do anything silly."

The two guards saluted and moved to flank of House as Twilight came over to release him.

"Right, I'm going to let you go now, but you have to promise not to run off or cause any problem, okay?"

House rolled his eyes.

"Really? You have Mario and Luigi here, and your magic as well lets not forget, and you think I'm going to run off? I know I look strange to you guys, but do I look that stupid?"

Twilight chuckled for a second.

"You woke up in a strange land and the first thing you did was try to ride the Princess, of course I think you look stupid."

"Uh, I told you guys I thought I was hallucinating - still do actually - besides how was I meant to know she was some kind of royalty?"

Now it was Twilight's turn to role her eyes.

"The big crown? That might have been a clue."

"Okay, I understand your point, I still reject it but I understand it. Now can you just free me so I can get out of here?"

"Ooh, desperate to see Princess Luna then are you?" Joked Twilight.

"No, but I do admit that it would be able to stretch my legs and get away from all this grey."

"Okay, give me a second." Twilight's horn flashed violet for a second and the chairs bindings became loose allowing House to move. "There you go, now be a nice little... 'colt'... and go with the guards. They'll take you to the Princess." She began to walk out of the room, turning back just as she reached the door. "And I look forward to interrogating you later."

With Twilight gone House turned to his guards with a cheeky grin, "Lead on."

Having left the guards behind her to deal with 'House', Twilight ran full speed ahead. It had been some time since she had last been to the royal infirmary, but her childhood memories of being whisked there by Celestia after one of her many magical mishaps left the directions firmly ingrained in her mind. In fact it wasn't all that far from the prison cells and interrogation areas.

As she skidded round the final corner before the infirmary, she had to quickly teleport to avoid hitting the wall. She came out of the teleport in a tumble and rolled forwards through the doors; landing just inside, in a heap. Picking herself up, she dusted herself off and turned to see a familiar face.

"Applejack!" She latched onto her friend in a vice-like grip. Her friend returned the embrace through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't ya remember? Ah had my meeting with the princess to discuss some purchase orders." Twilight smiled.

"Ahh, of course. Sorry, just so hard to imagine something has happened to the Princess."

"It's okay, sugarcube. I can imagine how you feel, she was your mentor after all."

"So, do you know what happened?" Applejack shuffled her hooves nervously.

"Ah do indeed, Twi. Saw it happen myself. It was as I was walking into the palace, I had just looked up and seen the Princess up on her balcony and glanced away for a second. The next thing I knew there was a thud and the princess was lying on the grass near me."

"Eeep." Twilight's eyes began to fill with water. "How... how is she?"

"Ah don't know Twi, she was picked up pretty quickly and they haven't let anyone in there yet."

"Oh..." Twilight's ears flattened against her head and she released her grip on Applejack while looking down. "That doesn't sound good." Applejack looked at the ground, her ears also flattened.

For a short period of time, the two just stood there silent. Twilight; playing with her hair and Applejack; spinning her hat around on her hoof.

"It'll be alright, Twi." Applejack broke the silence, "The Princess has been through worse things than a fall. Remember her big fight with the Changeling Queen?"

A small smile broke its way onto Twilight's face, of course she remembered. It was a fight that Celestia had lost, thanks to the love that creature had stolen from her brother. But Celestia had recovered.

"I guess, but even then we were allowed to see her in the hospital. Why not now?"

"Ah don't know, but I'm sure there's some reason. Maybe the Princess is just tired and needs a rest?"

"Maybe..." the small smile flickered on her face for a moment to be replaced by a frown again. "I don't know Applejack, I'm just worried. Falling; just isn't like her. I mean she's probably the most experienced flyer in all of Equestria."

"Twilight, ah..."

A door opened and a doctor came out of one of the rooms.

"Ahh, Miss Applejack, there you are. And you must be Miss Twilight."

"H-how is she doctor?"

"It's hard to tell, Miss Twilight, all her vital signs are where we should expect her to be, so she's stable. But she's still out like a light. Hasn't been conscious since the fall."

"Is that bad?"

"It's hard to say, while it's not unheard of for a patient to be out cold for as long as she has, the Princess usually recovers quickly from any mishaps she's had in the past. I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Alright... Can we go and see her?"

"I'm afraid not, we're still running some tests at the moment. Maybe later." With that, the doctor turned and went back into the room, leaving Applejack and Twilight alone. Applejack moved over Twilight and brought her into a tight hug.

"It'll be alright, Sugarcube, It'll be alright."

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

House was led through a series of winding corridors; a journey which was both confusing and dull. They walked in silence - apart from their steps on the stone and wooden floors - the situation clearly dulling his surly guards enthusiasm for taunting him.

As they walked, House was almost certain that they crossed many of the corridors they had previously walked down, it appeared they were taking him down a longer route. Either to confuse him, or to hide his presence. Neither of which mattered to him, it's not as if he had much choice in the matter.

Eventually, they entered a part of the castle which looked eerily familiar to House. It was a corridor with many rooms coming off of it; every surface was white; and the air smelt sterile. It was some sort of hospital or infirmary. House smiled, even on a different world, the place where people (or ponies in this case) spend ages recovering is also the dullest place you could be.

The guards led him down the long corridor towards a door at the end. Unlike the others this door wasn't white; it was left unpainted so the dark wood was visible; as was the name - Doctor Hoarse, Head of Medical Care. The name made House smile, as if the worst they normally dealt with was strep throat. No wonder he was being brought here.

Reaching the door, one of the guards quickly knocked and it was opened by a rather gruff looking stallion.

"Yes? What do you want?"

"Prisoner House to see Princess Luna." The pony's eye began to twitch.

"Fine."

The pony moved out of the way and one of the guards motioned House to go in while the other gave him a small nudge, forcing House to step forward; over the threshold; to avoid falling over.

"Aha, House, welcome. Please, won't you take a seat." Princess Luna was standing inside the room behind a desk, indicating to a seat just in front of it.

"Princess, I must express my disdain yet again, you can't possibly believe this 'creature' could be of use to us."

"Silence, Hoarse, I've told you already that you'll take his help; whether you like it or not."

"But Princess..." Luna shot him a gaze that froze him in a second.

"Now, House, you might be wondering why I summoned you here."

"If I was to hazard a guess, to teach this pony some proper etiquette?"

"Ha, as if I could learn anything from you!"

"Hoarse!" Luna paused to compose herself before speaking. "Nay, that is not why I have summoned you, in fact I have a feeling you could give Hoarse here a run for most arrogant entity of the year. It is because of my sister."

"Princess Celestia?"

"Indeed."

"Why?"

"Didn't you say you dealt with difficult medical situations?"

"Yes."

"Then that's why we need you, the situation involving involving my sister is Unique."

"And what makes you think I'd be willing to help?"

"Because you're our prisoner, and I'm making it part of your sentence."

"Doesn't mean I'll help, you can't force me."

"And because I believe you're like Hoarse here, the case is unique, and unique is interesting. Ponies like him like solving interesting puzzles. So I'm confident you'll help us."

"Alright I'll help you, on one condition."

"I'm listening."

"I don't take orders from, Hoarse. I'm not a lackey." Luna stood silent for a second.

"Alright, I accept those terms."

"But Princess, he's not even medically certified here, you can't possibly think letting him have free reign over your sisters treatment is right."

"Hoarse! Don't take me for a fool. I trust you'll be monitoring the situation and inform me if he's doing something foolish. Now, I have some royal matters I must attend to, is there anything else to sort out here before I leave?"

"Princess..."

Luna gave Hoarse a death stare, silencing him.

"Actually, I have one request." Luna looked at House, a strained smile on her face. "I need a team."

"I'll see what I can do." Luna left the room, leaving House and Hoarse alone. The tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

"So, DDX?"

"Don't think I'll take this lying down, 'House'. I'll get you back for this."

"I don't think the Princess will like it if you do anything to me."

"We'll see how the Princess feels when you fail to cure her sister. I bet you don't even understand anything about our biology."

"You're right," House said with a grin, "I don't know anything about your biology. And I'm sure your Princess understands that. Yet she still chose to side with me. Now either she really likes me, which I doubt, or she really hates you. That must hurt, finding out your beloved Princess hates you enough to side with an alien." Hoarse's teeth were gritted, and his eyes were narrowed.

"Get out."

"Alright, I'll go. Don't throw a shoe."

"Out!"

House ducked out of the room, shutting the door behind him just in time, causing a well aimed vase to smash against it. He smiled as he walked down the corridor to find the Princess.

"This is going to be fun."

Wilson was pacing in front of the three fillies, Appleblom and Sweetie Belle having stopped their argument in response to Wilson's scream.

"I don't understand it, why would you girls be following me?"

"We're sorry mister," Scootaloo piped.

"There's no need to apologise to me, I'm not angry, just confused. I mean what's so 'special' about me that you would abandon the pony looking after you? Oh my goodness, I forgot about her for a second, she doesn't know where you are. She must be worried sick."

"What, ma sis? Nah, she won't be worried. We're safe here in Canterlot, royal guard everywhere and all that."

"Well, that aside, you can't just leave her to follow me. You had no idea what I was like."

"Well, you seemed nice enough, and you haven't done anything to us yet, so I guess we're safe." said Sweetie Belle.

"Okay, fair enough, I ask again, why follow me anyway?"

"Because of your flank." Scootaloo pointed. Wilson checked himself over.

"So? There's nothing there."

"Exactly! You look like, what, 50? By that age you should have your cutie mark."

"Cutie mark, you mean a kind of tattoo which indicates your special talent."

"Not exactly, I mean you have the right idea, but it's not a tattoo."

"Alright, but I still don't see what the big deal is with me not having a cutie mark. The policeman went on about it being illegal to cover one up."

"Yeah, our teacher told me while she waited for my sister to fit her dress. It's because they use cutie marks to help identify ponies."

"That makes sense, but I can't cover something I've never had."

"Exactly, we just want ta know why ya don't have one. We've been told that by your age everypony has one."

"There must be some that..."

"Everypony." The trio said in unison.

"Well I don't."

"You still haven't told us why."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Try us."

"Sorry."

The three fillies looked up at him with their eyes open wide.

"Pwease, mister?" Applebloom led the cuteness charge.

"Fine, but don't blame me when you don't believe." Wilson moved back over to the bench and sat down, the three fillies taking seats on the ground in front of him.

"I guess I should start off by saying I'm not from around here."

"Oh, you're from out west?"

"No, nothing like that, I mean I'm not from this world."

"Get out."

"I said you wouldn't believe me."

"I know mister, but you must understand how crazy it sounds." Wilson smiled.

"Yeah, I know." His ears flattened on his head. "But it's true, last night I fell asleep on my world and woke up here. I'm not even a pony for goodness sake."

"Um, ah you sure? You look like ah pony to me."

"Uh, Applebloom, I think he meant back on his own world." Wilson nodded. "Ha, see."

"Yeah, well, um..."

"Girls, please, there's no need to fight."

"I'm sorry Applebloom."

"It's okay, Sweetie Belle. See mister, we made up." Applebloom beamed at him.

"Good," Wilson sighed. "I just wish I knew what to do, I have no idea how I'm meant to live like this. And, well, I'm worried that if my friend did get sent here as well that he's causing all sorts of trouble."

"Where did you wake up?"

"The royal gardens, I think."

"Hmm, well maybe he's still up there."

"I'm not sure, I mean I didn't see him when I woke up."

"Did you look?" Wilson blushed.

"Well, not really, I was kinda hungover."

"Well then, maybe we should go up and check?"

"I guess, but how will we get in there? I was arrested for being there without permission."

"Oh, that? No worries. Ma sister is up in the palace aht the moment speaking to the Princess about some business stuff."

"So she can get us in?"

"Well, maybe, but if not, Ah'm sure she told the guards to let us in when we went missing. We should be able to get you into the palace. Say you wanted to escort us and make sure we didn't get sidetracked again or something."

"Are you sure that will work?"

"Of course ah'm sure, sure as eggs are eggs, surer even. My sister says that sometimes eggs aren't always what they appear to be."

"Alright then, I guess we should go then." Wilson stood up and for a moment they they stood around in a group. "Um, you'll have to lead the way, no idea how to get there."

The three fillies walked off, Wilson following close behind. As they walked Sweetie and Scootaloo turned to Applebloom.

"Are you sure we can get him in?"

Applebloom gave a small shake of her head, small enough so only her two friends could see.

"Ah'm not sure," she glanced back at Wilson, who was glancing around at the world around him, a mixture of curiosity and wonder across his face. "Ah hope so."

Author's Note

Hey, thanks for reading this chapter. Sorry about any grammar errors, at the moment I'm without an editor, so if anyone is up for the job. :)

But I feel after slow updates for months. I owe you updates, even with a few errors.

Chapter 9

Twilight and Applejack were waiting in the corridor for any news of Celestia - Twilight pacing up and down the corridor which was starting to look more and more worn with each passing second, her hair stood chaotically in tufts, which one would find strange if you found out she had only been pacing for five minutes. Applejack on the other hoof was a picture of serene calm, sitting on one of the uncomfortable, cheap plastic hospital chairs drinking some of the cheap plastic hospital coffee. The taste of the stuff revolted her, but it kept her busy and stopped her losing her mind like Twilight was.

"Twilight, would ya stop ya gosh darn pacing already, ya wearing a grove in the floor and making me all dizzy."

Twilight looked at her friend with a forced, sheepish smile and quickly sat down beside Applejack. "Sorry," she said as she started playing with her hooves, the clopping sound causing Applejack's ear to twitch. "I'm just no good at dealing with stress. You know."

"Ah sure do, ya know Big Mac still has that doll from that one time."

Twilight almost perked up for a second. "So that's where Smarty Pants got to, I thought she had got lost in all the confusion."

"Nah, ma big softy of a brother took it, not that he knows ah know he has it. Ah can get it back for ya if ya want?"

"Maybe some other time, I'm sure Smarty Pants is in good hooves with your brother."

"Yeah, he's such a big softie."

The two mares started smiling as they both imagined the rather large stallion snuggling up with Twilight's fillyhood companion. For a moment, they both forgot the terrible situation they were both in and just sat there with blissful smiles on their faces. The moment was however unfortunately broken by Luna's sudden appearance through a door at the far end of the corridor.

"Princess?" both of the mares asked, both worried what the presence of Celestia's sister meant. Especially since she was up during the day.

Luna nodded to them, "Miss Twilight, Miss Applejack, I see you've been waiting here patiently. Any news on my sisters condition?"

"Last thing we heard, Princess, was that she was out cold. None of the medical staff have left since then."

Luna let out a sigh, a sigh filled with all the stress and worry the situation was causing. "She's still not awake?"

Twilight and Applejack shook their heads. "As far as we know, she's still out cold."

"This is not good news, not good at all. Both me and my sister possess a healing factor far greater than the average pony. If she's still asleep, something must be very wrong."

"I'm sure she'll be alright, Princess, I mean maybe she's just sleeping?"

"That is possible, but that still doesn't help us answer the bigger question behind this entire event."

"You mean why did Princess Celestia, a talented flyer and sorceress, fall off her balcony and make no effort to stop her descent?" asked Twilight.

"Exactly, there's no point dealing with the fact that my sister is passed out, if we don't consider that this is just a consequence of the actual problem. And that problem is whatever caused her fall. Sure it could be an accident, and we have nothing to worry about. But until we have more symptoms to work with, we can't diagnose her, and I can't help but feel we might be able to identify more symptoms were she awake."

"That don't sound no good."

"It isn't AJ, I mean, if there's nothing wrong with the Princess, then everything will be okay. But, if are symptoms we are missing because she is out cold, if she has something wrong with her, the disease could get worse before the doctors have any clue what they are dealing with."

"Exactly, Twilight, and that's not including the problems of identifying the disease from any symptoms we have. After all, there is very little evidence on how common illnesses affect a pony with the traits of all three species - wings, magic and the natural traits of an earth pony."

"Well, what do we do?"

"What do we do? Wait, nothing else we can do apart from that, Miss Applejack. I know I'm not experienced at medicine, and I doubt you have much in the way of medical training. No, nothing we can do except wait. Twilight on the other hoof, there is something you can do."

"What is it, Princess?"

Luna sighed, she knew what she was about to ask would not sit right with Twilight, that her sister's prize student would probably refuse. However, she knew this was something she would probably have to do, after all, her sisters life could quite possibly be at stake, and their own doctors were struggling to know what to do.

"Before I tell you, Twilight, you have to promise you'll do this, for Celestia's sake."

Twilight swallowed hard, if she was being made to promise before she was told what it was, it must be something she probably wouldn't agree to normally. For a moment she thought about declining, a thought she chastised herself for. This was Luna, the Princess wouldn't ask her to do anything that wasn't necessary.

"Alright I'll do it."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Cross my heart hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." As she went through the motions of the Pinkie Promise, Luna looked at her somewhat bemused. Still, despite the absurdity of it, the Princess managed to understand what Twilight meant.

"Good. Now don't worry, I'm not asking you to do anything too difficult. I just want you to lend your, what I assume is considerable, knowledge on pony anatomy and assist them with their medical investigation."

Twilight looked at the Princess confused. "Me, assist a doctor? You have to be kidding me, I can't help any of your trained doctors. The doctors that work here are the finest in Equestria, no way I can help them."

Luna sighed, "This doctor... Is from out of town," she tried to word her sentence carefully, she needed Twilight to be fully committed to this before the mare found out who she would be assisting. "He isn't really an expert in pony physiology, but given the circumstances, I thought it best to get every medical mind around involved, just in case."

Twilight brought her hoof to her chin in concentration, 'It does make sense,' she thought to herself. 'If their is a chance the Princesses life could be at risk, getting anyone you can offer any help might be worth it. Besides, it sounds like they're a gryphon or a zebra, maybe they'll have some experience in these matters.'

"Alright, I'll help. Anything to help Celestia."

A small smile appeared upon Luna's face, causing her eyes to soften and look like she was relieved of some small amount of her burdens. "Now I have to warn you, you might not get along with them to begin with. But if you give it some time, I'm sure you'll become the best of friends."

Twilight nodded, "Yeah, sure, best of friends." Her voice sounded empty and unsure. "So where is this doctor?"

Luna turned towards the door at the end of the corridor, the same door she had entered by. "Follow me." The princess set of quickly down the corridor, clearly in no mood to waste any time. Twilight moved to follow, but quickly turned to talk to Applejack before she left.

"Wait here AJ, and let me know if anything changes."

"Sure thing Twi, just make sure ya do ya best to help this fellow now. With the way everypony is in a stir, sounds like they may need the help."

"Cheers AJ, see you soon."

"You too, Twi, ah Know ya can do it." Applejack placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. Twilight tried her best to return it, but the smile faltered on her face. Applejack pulled Twilight into a tight but quick hug, before pushing her away. Twilight understood the sign and quickly followed after Luna, who had already disappeared through the doors and out of sight.

Twilight sighed, she hoped the Princess hadn't got too far ahead.

Author's Note

Hey guys, sorry it's not the longest update every... Kinda fitting with this story I guess, for some reason I struggle to write much at once. I did have some more stuff, but it felt forced and I wanted to rewrite it, but I didn't want to do that and delay this any more. Thought I could give you guys a cute little scene and prove the story is being kept going :D.

Chapter 11

Celestia's hospital room was inconceivably peaceful, the sterile whiteness given an air of life from the warm sunlight and gentle breeze streaming in through an open window beside the bed. Celestia herself seemed to be in a deep and pleasant sleep, however, the amount of drips attached to her body could suggest otherwise. A nurse, the only other pony in the room, sat observing from a chair next to the door, occasionally making notes on a clipboard clutched in her hooves. However peaceful the room was, inside the princesses head, it was a different story.

Standing inside a realm of blinding whiteness, Celestia screamed with all her voice, hurling obscenities at nopony in particular. Suddenly, from behind her, there came a sinister chuckling. Stunned into silence, Celestia turned to find a shadowy figure without a consistent form, from where it had come, she did not know. For the last several hours she had been raging in this featureless place alone, and this figure had not approached from anywhere, she was sure of that. One moment she was alone, and now she wasn't, it was as simple as that. And that fact scared her.

"Who are you?!" She demanded, "Where have you come from?!"

The figure ignored her questions and just continued to laugh manically.

"Do you know who I am?!" There was a threatening tint to Celestia's voice.

"do you know who I am?" The figure mimicked mockingly

Celestia's eyes went wide, and her mouth turned into a snarl, she entered a braced stance and lowered her head, presenting her horn to the shadowy intruder. "You dare mock me?!"

"You dare mock me?" the figure mimicked again.

Celestia snarled, and soon her horn began to glow, a sphere of energy collecting at its tip.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." The figure warned.

"And why should I not?" She barked in retort.

The figured sighed, "You really are a stupid Alicorn aren't you? Where do you think you are?"

Celestia's resolve faltered for a second, her magic flickering briefly before solidifying again. "I'm not sure, but you seem to be rather full of yourself, so why not enlighten me?"

The figure appeared to face palm before snorting in contempt. "Are you really that blind? Use your brain, where were you and what were you doing before you got here."

The princess screwed her eyes, "I... I was being tended to by the medics. I had just fallen from my balcony."

"Exactly, so where do you think you are?"

"My head!" Celestia exclaimed, almost jumping and quickly losing control of her magic.

"Give the girl a medal! Seriously, for being princess of the sun, you're not that illuminated on the facts!"

"Wait a second," the princess held up a hoof. "If we're in my head, who, or should I say what, are you?"

The figure moved in front of her, its form starting to solidify. "I guess you could call me your spirit guide, or mentor if you wish. It doesn't really matter what I am, it only matters that I'm here in the first place. Clearly somewhere in that ancient, clogged up brain of yours, you think you need me, and here I am."

"So why do I need you?"

"No idea, but we have until you wake up to find out, so I can imagine with that fall we have a while. But before we start, can I say something?"

"What?" Asked Celestia unenthusiastically.

"Give me a form already."

"Huh? it's not my fault that you're a shadowy figure."

"Of course it is, this is your head after all."

Celestia rolled her eyes, "Sorry Mum!" She said sarcastically. A second later she got the shock of her life as suddenly the shadowy figure shifted and solidified, taking form.

The figure looked down at her new form and then at the princess's face, the sheer horror portrayed in the rulers face gave caused a smile to cross her face. "Looks like this is going to be fun."

Author's Note

I have to say, sorry for a rather small update. Wanted to do something to get back into the flow of writing. Still, hope this small snippet was enough for you to enjoy, and prove I'm not dead. Big update to come next I hope, maybe House and Wilson will finally meet.

And I want to once again thank you guys for reading this story, and making it impossible to stop writing, even if uni makes keeping the story going hard.

Chapter 12

Author's Note

Right, so here it is, the big chapter I've been hoping to do for a while. Hope you guys enjoy. Just a quick notice, hence why this is up here, while writing this chapter, my computer died and I've had to continue writing this on my iPad which makes for bad editing. As such, the chapter may have some bad grammar here and there, please excuse this.

I just felt that with all the delays so far that I didn't want to keep you all, who have been so patient, waiting any longer.

I really hope you enjoy this, and it promise it will be edited properly soon, and a new chapter will be following soon.

Also, thank you all very much for reading so far, I really do like seeing all the comments and am still surprised so many people like reading this. Thank you so much.

Chapter 12

Applejack was sitting on one of the chairs, slowly nursing a cup of a thick disgusting fluid that the hospital tried to pass off as coffee. It had been at least thirty minutes since Princess Luna and Twilight had left, leaving her all alone, the only ponies she had seen in that time were the occasional nurse or doctor moving to and from different parts of the hospital.

The silence was dull, but at the same time reassuring, at the very least it meant that there was no change to the Princess' condition. Still, Applejack had a bubbling pit of nerves brewing away in her stomach, even when the princess had been attacked by the changeling queen she hadn't taken this long to recover. She really had no idea what to think, she just had to hope Twilight and this creature she had heard Luna speak about could do their stuff and get to the bottom of this.

She took a sip of the 'coffee' and forced herself to swallow the foul tasting stuff before giving up on drinking any more and skillfully throwing the cup into a rubbish bin across the corridor. The cup bounced around the rim for a second, before falling into the darkened bowels, not a drop of liquid spilling in the process. Smiling to herself, Applejack closed her eyes and rest her head against the back of the chair.

What could have been seconds or minutes later, the door to the corridor opened, Applejack quickly opening her eyes and returning her attention to the world around her in time to see Twilight and a very curious creature walking beside her. The creature walked on two legs, and it reminded her of the bears that frequented her friend Fluttershy's cabin, though it was shorter and a good deal less hairy. The idea of Twilight being the assistant to a shaved bear for some reason brought a smile to her face.

"Had much luck?" She greeted her friend, the frown on Twilight's face answering before her lips.

"I'm afraid not," Twilight shook her head. "Just taking House here to the palace library and wanted to check in with you on the way. Everything alright here?"

"Appears to be," Applejack nodded. "Been very quiet, rather dull to be honest," she said with a yawn. "So your names House?" She asked, turning to face the strange figure beside her friend, House nodded in response. "Names Applejack," she said, offering him a hoof. "Mighty fine to meet ya."

"Nice to meet you too," said House, shaking her hoof. "Might I ask, is Twilight always this high strung?"

Applejack pondered his question for a second while studying Twilight's face. The unicorn's hair was a bit more unkempt and she seemed more skittish than usual, rapidly glancing between her and House and the door to Celestia's room.

"Don't you worry none," Applejack said, turning her attention back to House. "She's just worried about the Princess, we all are."

"Should could moan a little less," House whispered. "All I'm trying to do is help."

"She'll calm down soon enough," Applejack replied. "Actually, I was wondering if it was okay to ask, what kind of creature are you?" She asked, "I don't mean to cause offence, but my family is spread all over Equestria, and I've never heard of a thing like you."

"Well," House began, "truth be told, I'm not exactly from around here. I'm what you might call an alien. Then again you might not, not exactly clued in on your culture."

"An..." Applejack gulped, "alien?"

"Ahh, so your culture does feature aliens then." House nodded, "yes, I'm an alien."

"You're not the evil probing sort are ya?" Asked a worried looking Applejack.

"Oh Applejack," sighed Twilight. "I would have thought you'd have learned after that incident with Zecora to pay less attention to Pinkie. I'm certain House wouldn't probe anypony."

House nodded, "That's absolutely right, I'm not into probing. Biopsies on the other hand..."

"Biopsawhats?" Asked a confused Applejack, who then shook her head. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, now we know you're not an evil alien, what sort of creature are you?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I'm a human." Answered House.

"Hmm," Applejack mulled over the information in her mind. "Well, nice to meet you again, House, sir. But I believe you two better get going to the library."

"Yeah... We probably should," said Twilight, looking longingly at the door to Celestia's room.

"Don't you worry none, Twilight," said Applejack, putting a hoof around Twilight's shoulders. "I'll come get ya'll if something happens."

"Thanks AJ," a small smile creeped onto Twilight's face. "Come along, House." Twilight led the way down the corridor, and soon both her and House were gone, leaving Applejack on her own again.

Twilight was almost giddy with excitement as they approached the doors to the palace library, after all this was her element, and the palace library had managed to solve pretty much every problem she had ever faced.

House on the other hand wanted to groan, the ancient looking wooden doors filling his head with images of ancient scrolls which for some illogical reason had yet, after thousands of years, to be transcribed to books which would be a lot easier to read. This searching for information was going to be a lot harder than he originally assumed if the expectations in his head turned out to be true.

They reached the doors, and Twilight stopped, turning to fix House with a face like a mother would give to an unruly child before they entered a toy and candy shop.

"Now, House, you better behave in there. This library contains many old and valuable texts, some which are many thousands of years old and irreplaceable. So no fooling around, understand?"

House nodded before raising his hand and jumping slightly on the spot. "Miss, miss? I have a question. Please miss?"

Twilight sighed and brought her hoof - far too quickly, causing a slight sting - to her face. "What is it, House?"

"If these texts are so old and valuable, how come none if them have been transcribed?" He asked rather smugly.

Twilight groaned, and ignoring the question responded. "Just behave, okay? And focus on the task at hoof. We need to find whatever disease the Princess has as quickly as possible." Twilight's horn glowed, a corona of violet light surrounding both it and the handle of the door, which promptly opened. Quietly, Twilight led the way into the chamber before closing the door behind both of them. "Basic pony medicine is down that way and third room on your left." Twilight pointed down a corridor before House even managed to get his bearings.

House began to walk in the indicated direction before noticing Twilight wasn't following and was instead heading in a completely different direction. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Advanced medicine. Unlike some ponies, I have more than a foals understanding of basic biology." She replied. "Now, go ahead and get started, I'll come and get you if I need you."

House opened his mouth to retort, but Twilight moved past him, not even paying him a seconds notice. In seconds she was already down the corridor and House shrugged. "I'll get you back sometime," he whispered.

For a brief moment images of drugs and pranks flashed through his mind, unfortunately, in order to carry out these thoughts he would need to better understand pony physiology and that meant reading the books Twilight pointed him to. He just hoped that based on her comments about foals that these weren't children's picture books. If they were, no force on Equestria could keep him from getting revenge on little miss Twilight.

Wilson was incredibly impressed as he was escorted through the palace with the guard and the three fillies. After entering the palace, the guard had led them down various corridors. From immaculate, sparsely decorated servant corridors to grandly done state corridors regularly patrolled by guards. As they walked, the three fillies were incredibly excited. They joked, laughed and pointed out things they thought Wilson would find interesting. The guard on the other hand was as cold as iron, only responding to salute the various guards they passed.

Now they walked down a sterile white corridor, it's cleanliness putting Princeton Plainsborough to shame, it almost made Wilson homesick. As they reached the end of the corridor and the guard pushed open a set of swing doors, Wilson glimpsed a familiar orange mare, the three fillies noticing her as well and running ahead to greet her.

"Sis!" Shouted a cheery Applebloom.

Applejack turned, a huge smile appearing on her face as she noticed her sister. Getting up from the seat, she embraced her sister as Applebloom jumped into her hooves.

"There you are, Applebloom, I was starting to worry about you. Where have you been?"

"Well..." Applebloom's eyes darted towards Wilson who was standing in the doorway alongside the guard. Applejack followed her sisters gaze and was surprised to see the same stallion that had fallen down in front of her earlier that day.

"Applebloom, you and your friends haven't been bothering this nice stallion, have you?"

"Nuhuh," Applebloom shook her head. "We were really well behaved, you can ask him yourself."

Applejack tussled her little sister's mane. "Don't worry, I will," she said cheerily. "Now, why don't you go play outside in the garden, I'm sure the guard would be willing to escort you three out. Would that be okay?" She asked the guard.

The guard nodded, "Come along kids, and sir."

Wilson turned to follow the guard but felt a hoof grip onto his back leg.

"Actually, if it's alright, I'd prefer it if the stallion stays," said Applejack. "I'd like to chat to him."

The guard nodded once again, "Very well, miss. Come along kids."

The three energetic fillies followed the guard back through the doors, disappearing from sight long before they could no longer be heard. Wilson turned to face Applejack, her hoof still on his leg. He smiled sheepishly at her contact, Applejack quickly removing her hoof as she understood the situation.

"Oops sorry about that."

"It's alright. So you said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?" She pointed to the chairs, "how about a seat?"

"That would be lovely, thanks"

The two of them made their way over and sat down, Wilson far more clumsily than Applejack, still not fully used to his new body. For a moment they sat in silence, Wilson waiting patiently while Applejack worked out what to say. Eventually she broke the silence.

"I'm sorry about my sister, she and her friends can be rather... over the top."

"It's fine, they're good kids, if a bit hyper."

"Hehe, you can say that again. Ya know, one time they tried to get their cutie marks for juggling. Of course being on a farm, the first thing they get their hoofs on are eggs. Soon enough they come trotting into the house so covered in goo that we didn't know whether to clean them, or cook them."

A small chuckle escaped both of their lips as Applejack recounted one of the exploits of Apple Bloom and friends, but something felt off to Wilson.

"You know, miss Applejack, that was a lovely story, but I doubt that's why you wanted to talk to me."

"You're right, that wasn't why I wanted to speak to you. I assume you were with them because you escorted them, correct?"

"That's correct."

"So how did you end up with them? I would ask Apple Bloom, but she might try to avoid telling me the truth."

"Well, all I know is that they followed me. I hope it's alright, but I felt it was only right to bring them back to you, after all they would have stayed with you if they hadn't followed me."

Applejack smiled, "Of course it's okay, I'm just wondering why they followed you."

"Well, according to them, they followed me because they thought it was strange that I don't have one of those cutie mark things."

"Wait, what?!" Applejack checked his flank, the plain tan fur causing her to scratch her head. "But that's impossible, everypony gets a cutie mark, at least by your age anyway!"

"So I keep being told."

"How in the name of Celestia do you not have one?!"

Wilson sighed, "I doubt you'll believe me if I tell you."

"Well, depends on wether or not you tell me the truth. I'm the element of honesty after all."

"Element of honesty?"

"You ever heard of the elements of harmony?"

"No I haven't, I'm not really from around here."

"Hmm, I'm starting to see that, well I'll give you the short version. The elements of harmony are powerful magical artifacts which when used together can be used to combat powerful enemies of Equestria. I wield the element of honesty, and as such should be able to tell if you're lying."

"Alright then. Well, like it said before, I'm not from around here, in fact alien would be a good word to use to describe me." As Wilson spoke, Applejack studied him intently, her eyes glued to him.

"Hmm, sure don't look like an alien to me."

"Not right now, no," Wilson agreed. "But you have to believe me, last night I fell asleep in my own world and when I woke up I was here, and as you can see transformed into a pony."

"So you weren't a pony back where you come from?"

"Nope." Wilson shook his head.

"So what did you look like then?"

"Well, unlike ponies my species doesn't have fur all over the body, just hair in certain places similar to your mane. We also don't have four legs, instead we stand on just two." As Wilson spoke Applejack's eyes glazed over.

"Hmm," Applejack seemed to be deep in thought. "Well, I can believe that. I mean you sound an awful lot like somepony I saw earlier."

"Really?" Wilson asked desperately, a small sliver of hope growing within him that maybe House had indeed been transported with him.

"Yeah," Applejack answered. "Just out of curiosity, what is your species called?"

"Humans." He replied, Applejack nodding in response.

"Yeah, that's what he said. The guy I saw earlier I mean." Wilson quickly leapt to his hooves and gripped Applejack's shoulders.

"His name wasn't House was it?" His voice barely more than an excited whisper.

"Yeah, that was it," replied Applejack. "Why, do you know him?"

"Yes!" He shouted, "Yes! Yes! Yes! He's here. I'm not alone!"

Applejack was confused by his excitement, but she shrugged it off under the fact that she'd never woken up on another world as a different species before.

"You wouldn't happen to know where he is?" Wilson asked after he calmed down a bit.

"Yeah, he's in the library." She replied. "It's through those doors, take your first left and then the second right and it should be right in front of you."

"Thanks, Applejack," he pulled her into a quick hug, letting her go before she could respond. "Thanks very much. Sorry about this, I wish I could stay and chat, but I really need to see him."

"Don't you worry partner, thanks again for looking after my sister. Hope you find him, and maybe we'll meet again sometime."

"Yeah," he replied over his shoulder as he quickly barged through doors she had indicated. "Maybe."

As Wilson ran down the corridor following Applejack's instructions, the doors shut behind him, once again leaving Applejack alone to contemplate everything which had just happened. Adjusting her hat as she scratched her head, she ran through everything again in her mind but it left her no less puzzled by the turn of events.

"What a strange day this has been." She muttered to herself.

Wilson ran through the corridors as directed by Applejack as fast as he could, his head swimming with various thoughts. Sure, there was his elation at finding out he wasn't alone, however, he also had many questions. Something about what Applejack had said, that how he described his species reminded her of House. Was there a chance he was still human and not a pony like him? If so, why? And how? It was so much to consider.

He was brought out of his thoughts as he ran round the final corner, ahead of him stood two great wooden doors. Since they were straight ahead of him he could only assume they were the entrance to the library. Barreling through the doors, their heavy bulk slamming behind him, he found himself in a oval shaped chamber with many corridors leading off. With no bookshelves in this room, the only signs this was actually a library was the age old musky smell of old books and signs hanging over each of the corridors with numbers similar to the Dewey Decimal system.

Unfortunately, there was no House in sight.

Wilson stood still for a moment, collecting his breath, the sounds of his heavy breathing echoing around the room. Slowly, as his heart rate lowered, he tried to work out what to do next. With no sight of his friend, all he knew was that somewhere down one of these corridors was House.

"Oh well," he muttered, "better start from 1 and work my way up."

With that, Wilson began to walk down the first corridor and, on a reasonable voice so as to not disturb anypony else who might be here, call out House's name.

House had finally found his way to the room filled with basic medical texts, annoyed and frustrated as he was, whatever method ponies used to organise the location of the various topics of books seemed to be a grotesque version of the Dewey Decimal system. Which, for all he could tell, organised books by the colour of their covers as much as anything else.

Grumbling, he searched the shelves and found a book titled 'basic physiology of the pony species, suitable for fillies, colts and those of ages above'. As loath as he was to read a book with such a title, he felt that it was probably the best place to start. He didn't think he could bear the shame and the gloating from Twilight if he messed up even the most basic parts of pony anatomy.

Picking the tome of the book, he was surprised by the weight, and wondered briefly how any young pony was expected to lift it, let alone be able to read such a thick volume. Scanning the room, he found a table surrounded by what looked to be comfortable reading chairs in the far corner, and went to make use of them. Pacing the book down with a loud thud he deposited himself in one of the chairs and opened the text to page one.

As he began to read, he instantly suppressed the urge to flee the library, find the author of the book -if they still lived- and bludgeon them with their own creation. The text opened with a cheery, sickly sweet, nursery rhyme about the differences in pony race. Differences so obvious that they clearly didn't warrant inclusion in a self proclaimed medical text.

Thankfully, House was spare any further reading by what seemed to be the distant calling of his name. Or at least, he thought he had heard it. Unsure, he sat straining his ears for any sound remotely related to his name. However, after a minute of hearing nothing even as close as 'bungalow' he sighed and turned his attention, reluctantly back to the book.

"House?"

There it was again, and while distant, this time he was 100% sure he had heard it.

"Twilight?!" He called out in response, after all, who else could it be. Though he was surprised how quickly she was coming to get him, surely she couldn't have found anything out that quickly, could she?

"House?"

The call was closer this time, though it seemed she hadn't heard him call back. In that case he decided it would be quicker to go out and meet her instead of trying to play some sort of game of Marco Polo.

Relishing the feeling of the closing of the book, he stood up and left the room, and headed back in what he hoped was the direction of the entrance chamber.

"House?"

There was the call again, this time much closer, close enough in fact that he could tell was something different about the voice. It sounded much more masculine than Twilight had minutes ago. Intrigued, he carried on down the corridor, expecting it most likely to be a royal guard that Twilight had sent of in search of him. Strange that she didn't tell the guard where to find him though.

"House?"

This time the call was much louder, it seemed to be coming from just around a corner ahead, and it was most definitely masculine. The voice definitely did not belong to Twilight, unless this was some sort of prank she was playing on him. An act he wouldn't put past her after what he had done to her already today.

With that thought in mind, a plan began to form in his head and a devilish grin formed on his face, two could play at a pranking game. Quickly, as he could now hear the hoof steps of whoever was trying to find him (definitely a pony) he ducked into another reading room to his left, hiding himself in the shadows of the entrance, ready to pounce on the pony as they passed.

The sound of hoof steps became louder, the shadow of the pony appearing in Houses view, 'just a few seconds more,' he thought to himself. Then, just as the front hoof appeared, House pounced.

"Gotcha!" He shouted as he leapt through the air, instantly realising his mistake too late.

The tan pony only had time to shout out "Hou..!" Before House tackled the obviously not a royal guard or Twilight pony to the ground.

The pony, first to recover was quick to pick himself up of the floor and set into House angrily.

"What do you think you're playing at, House? You could have seriously injured me." The pony nagged him in a way he found familiar

"Sorry, Wilson," House replied, instantly realising what had escaped his lips. Wilson? Why had he said that? It had been a comment simply on instinct and it took House a second to fully realise how familiar the berating he had received from the pony actually was. "Wait a second, Wilson, is that you?"

"Yes it is me, I thought you'd have realised that when you attacked me. Or is that something you've started doing to anyone who happens to call your name now?"

House didn't reply, his mind running a mile a minute as he took in what he was seeing. In front of him stood a tan stallion with a dark brown mane and tail speaking with Wilson. It was like something out of a dream, albeit one usually caused by the aforementioned Wilson drugging his coffee.

"House, did you hear me?" Asked Wilson with no response. "Hello? Earth to House?"

"Wilson..." Murmured House. "You're a pony?"

"Yes, House, I am. And whatever you're going to say next, just don't, okay?"

"Wilson, you're a pony," House repeated, almost as if to understand the situation.

"Yes, alright, House, I know. No need to say it again."

"Wilson, you're a pony." House said again, this time a smile appearing on his face, causing Wilson to groan in frustration.

"Alright, House, we get it, I'm a pony. Geez, and for some reason I thought I'd be happy to see you."

"Wilson?" House asked, almost giggling.

"What?" Wilson screamed, his patience near breaking.

"Why the long face?"

Chapter 13

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 14

"Mother? You turned into my mother?!" Celestia's screams echoed throughout the white space of her own mind.

"It's your fault," said the figure, now a large pastel blue Unicorn. "You thought about your mother. I told you I was just part of your subconscious." The figure's voice was sickly sweet, tinged with a layer of authority that compelled you to obey.

"And if I mentioned a pony made out of chocolate fudge ice-cream, would you turn into one?" questioned Celestia.

There was a loud, earsplitting snap as a puff of pink dust surrounded the figure. The cloud was thick enough to obscure Celestia's view, and for a short moment she believed that the figure had indeed transformed into a ice-cream pony. However, as the dust settled, the figure still stood there, posing as her mother, a smile across it's face.

"Of course not," the figure replied with a tut. "An Ice-cream pony? That would be stupid."

"Are you calling me stupid?" asked Celestia threateningly.

"Well," said the figure with a wave of it's hooves. "If the horseshoe fits."

Celestia growled at the figure threateningly. "So, why are you here? Is it to just antagonize me? If so, you can just leave."

"That may very well be the reason," the figure laughed at Celestia who just snarled back at her. "Oh, don't get your royal vestments in a twist. I already told you I don't know why your twisted mind summoned me. And no, I can't leave. Even if I wanted to, which I admit I don't. Annoying you just seems like too much fun."

"And I suppose I have to sit here and just let you insult me?" asked Celestia sarcastically.

"Well, you could..." said the figure.

"Or?" asked Celestia.

"Or you could put that big fat brain of yours to use for once, and figure out why your subconscious wants to annoy you?" replied the figure, chuckling as she spoke.

The sound of that 'thing' laughing with her mothers laugh really grated on Celestia's nerve. How dare it use her mother's image to taunt and annoy her. The waves of anger rising from deep within her almost seemed to cause steam to pour from her ears.

"You know, I'm you right?" said the figure, noticing the anger dripping from Celestia. "If you're angry at me, you're really only angry at yourself. After all, you're the one who wants to piss yourself off for some reason."

"And why would I want to do that to myself?" asked Celestia.

"Maybe you suffer from low self esteem?" shrugged the figure.

"That doesn't sound like me," repleid Celestia. "I'm well loved and liked by all my little ponies."

"Hmm. Well then, maybe something new has happened in your life? Something to cause you to question yourself." Said the figure.

"Well," Celestia said. "I found out earlier today that other worlds exist."

"And how does that make you feel?" the figure asked, a pair of spectacles appearing on it's feminine features and a notebook and quill appearing in it's hooves.

"I'm, I'm not sure," Celestia stuttered. "I mean, how should it make me feel?"

"Hmm, that's a usual response," said the figure. "Here, why don't you lie down and tell me more about it." The figure sat down in a chair that appeared out of thin air and patted a psychiatrist's couch that appeared in just the same way.

Celestia looked at what appeared to be her mother pretending to be a psychiatrist, the chair and the white void behind them and was unsure. Hesitantly, she took a step forward which, then another, and another. Soon enough, she was lying on the coach opposite the figure.

"So," began the figure. "How do you feel?"

Author's Note

I know this is a really small chapter. But I thought the scene was cute, and with exams coming up. Wont have time to publish a chapter for a while. So consider this a quick pre exam treat for all of you.

Chapter 15

Author's Note

So, I go home tomorrow, long train journey perfect for a new chapter. But I thought I should throw you guys a bone since you've been waiting during my exams. Anyway, time for ass House to reappear.

Chapter 15

Images of Twilight and Celestia making out flitted through House's mind, both disturbing and disturbingly arousing.

"Oh Twilight, your lips are as soft as velvet." Celestia cooed as she attacked her student's lips with her own.

"And your flanks are so soft and squishable," said Twilight as she poked, squeezed, caressed and squished Celestia's flank.

"Twilight!" Celestia blushed, "You're far too kind."

"And you eat far too many cakes." Said Twilight punctuating her sentence by once again poking Celestia's flank with her hoof. "Not that I mind, of course, not one bit."

House couldn't help but watch as the two continued to make out, compliment each other and blush profusely. It was a sickly sweet display which made House begin to question his humanity. The only thing keeping him sane was the assurance that he must be dreaming. There was no way this could be happening before him. At least, he didn't believe so.

House's suspicion was confirmed, like it usually is, as the scene before him appeared to fade to black, the sound of kisses and squeals being slowly replaced with the sound of bird song and a feeling of weightlessness being replaced with a pressure, like being buried in sand at the beach.

Slowly, House came to. The first sense to return was the sense of sound, the sounds of birdsong gently filling his waking head with a soothing irritation that cleared away his 'dream'. Next the pressure from his dream returned, and he immediately felt his body constricted or confined, almost as if he was buried. A feeling he'd encountered once before underneath a collapsed apartment block.

Testing the waters, House attempted to move his arm only to find it pinned under whatever pressed against him. Instantly, he was worried, this could be very bad. Resisting the urge to open his, just in case, he tried to remember what might have happened. What was the last thing he remembered?

As he struggled through a mild pain that permeated through him, he ran through his jumbled memory. He remembered being bored, reading books far too simple for him. He also remembered a pain in his ear, a violet unicorn appearing in his minds eye as he thought about that. Then he remembered Wilson, remembered the fact his friend had somehow been transformed into a pony. That fact filled him with mirth for a second, until he remembered the hooves kicking into him, knocking him across the room, blacking out before he ended his flight. However, giving the fact he was in a library, and now he was buried in a pile, it was a safe assumption that he collided into a bookshelf and was now underneath a heap of books.

Shaking his head, gently, side to side, House felt something shift as his theory was proved right and books slipped further down the pile easing the pressure on his head.

Opening his eyes, House found the top of his head poking out of the pile of books he was buried in. For a moment he took note of his surroundings and could see he was alone. Wilson had left him, he wondered why. Not that Wilson had never abandoned him before, but the punching usually preceded them becoming friends again, not Wilson walking away. This left House confused as he struggled to free himself from the the pile.

For several minutes, the room was filled with the sound of grunting and curses as House toiled to release himself. Eventually, he stood sweaty, exhausted, bruised and breathing heavily, but also free. He felt proud about that, despite no help from his friend or his 'guide'.

Wiping his forehead, he looked around, considering for a moment to tidy up, when a small slip of paper sitting on the floor entirely too separate from the pile to be a loose book page. Moving over and picking it up, he noticed it was a note addressed to him and began to read.

"House," the letter started. "I'm sure you'll find this when you wake up and untangled yourself from your mess. Regardless, your 'friend' insisted I inform you that we have gone to perform tests on the Princess. You know, I'm pleasantly surprised that your friend is nothing like you. A lot more nice and appears much more professional. I'm certain he will be of much more use than you.

Twilight"

As House finished reading, thought's filtered through his head. Wilson, Twilight, tests. As he put the pieces together, he groaned.

"They think she might have cancer don't they?" He quietly muttered to himself. "Those idiots."

Sighing one last time, House rubbed the sweat from his head with his shirt collar before heading out of the library in pursuit of Wilson and Twilight.

"Are you sure this is all we need?" asked Twilight, wielding a single test tube of blood in the grip of her magic.

"It should be enough for initial tests," replied Wilson who was getting to grips at using a pony made microscope. "You know, this isn't an easy thing to use with my hooves."

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Twilight. "Most pieces of scientific equipment were created by and for Unicorns. With our magic, we didn't need to design things to be hoof friendly all the time. But there is a knack you can use to use it, here let me show you."

Twilight placed the test tube in a nearby holder and placed her hooves ontop of Wilson's. As Twilight guided Wilson through the gentle but precise movements needed to operate the device, Wilson began to blush profusely due to their close proximity. Though, he did have to admit to some small part of himself that the warmth of her hooves on his did feel really nice. After a couple of minutes of guiding him through the motions, Twilight released her grip on him.

"I assume you can do it on your own now?" She asked, a soft smile on her face. Wilson, suddenly finding himself unable to speak as he looked at her, just nodded. "Cool, so what do we do now?"

"Well, if you could put some of that blood onto a slide so I can study it under the microscope, I would be most appreciative." Answered Wilson. "I doubt I'll be much good with these hooves."

"Okay," said Twilight as she set about placing the blood on a slide, a task which took several minutes of concentration.

After two or three minutes, Twilight was done with the slide and was in the process of bringing it over to the microscope when the door to the laboratory slammed open violently, causing her to lose her concentration and drop the slide onto the floor where it smashed.

As Twilight's eyes began twitched violently, she looked up and saw House in the doorway.

"House! What are you doing?" asked Wilson, turning to see his friend in the doorway.

"What am I doing?" said House, "What about you? It almost looks like you're trying to look for cancer."

"So what if we're looking for cancer?!" Spat Twilight. "You're just jealous your friend had a theory before you."

"Why would I be jealous when you're both barking up the wrong tree?" asked House.

"What in Celestia's name do you mean?" asked Twilight.

"I mean it's illogical for your Princess to have cancer." Replied House.

"Would you like to illuminate us to how you came to that conclusion House?" asked Wilson.

"Certainly," said House, a smug smile appearing on his face. "It's quite easy Wilson and Bella. Celestia is over a thousand years old right? Well then, if she could get cancer, I think it would be very likely she would have already had it before."

"And how do you know she hasn't?" questioned Wilson.

"Miss Swan?" asked House pointing at Twilight. "Has your Princess ever been ill like this before?"

"It's Sparkle, and no, not in recorded history." Answered Twilight.

"There you go! Right from the Sparklepire's mouth. She's never been ill like this before. The Princess doesn't have cancer." Said House.

"The Princess might not have cancer," growled Twilight, "But we should check to make sure."

"Okay, waste your time then," said House. "Anyway, when you've found she doesn't have cancer, if you can with this dated technology, come find me in the library. I'll be trying to actually find a cure for her."

Chapter 16

It was quiet and peaceful night, and in the little town of Ponyville everypony was asleep. Everypony that is, except for Pinkie Pie and her three friends: Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash. They were gathered around a table in Golden Oaks library, in what could only be described as a makeshift war room.

While Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash sat around the table - all three looking rather bored, tired and confused - Pinkie Pie stood at the end table's end. She showed no signs of fatigue despite the lateness of the hour and was clothed from head to hoof in full military garb, including full camouflage make-up and a tin hat decorated with twigs. The table itself was festooned with various pieces of paper - many of which looked like maps or time tables - and scale models of Pinkie Pie and her friends.

"Alright you filthy maggots, I assume you all know why you're here?!" she shouted, accentuating her point by slamming her forehooves down on the table, knocking over the figurines.

Before anypony else could react, a buttermilk yellow blur could be seen fleeing the room in the direction of the kitchen, a high pitch cry following in their wake, slamming the door behind them. The combination of insult, shouting and loud bang of hoof on wood causing the skittish Fluttershy to flee in fright.

"Pinkie! What the hay did you have to do that for?!" yelled a rather angry Rainbow Dash.

"I was just getting into character," replied Pinkie glumly.

"And what character was that? Sombra?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Nuh-uh," Pinkie shook her head wildly. "I was just being that army pony from that film we saw the other night."

"And which film was that, darling?" asked Rarity.

"Well, duh.... the film we all watched together the other night you silly. Full Metal Jacket."

"You mean the film which also made Fluttershy run away and cry?" stated Rainbow Dash.

"Hmm, you might have a point there Dashie, I guess I was a bit of a silly billy myself. Back in a second." With her last words, Pinkie dived under the table, however, when Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked underneath the pink pony was nowhere to be found. Coming back above the table they both shared a look of confusing before finally sighing in unison.

"Pinkie...."

Both of them stood in nervous silence for a couple of minutes until they heard the kitchen door open, filling the room with the sound of laughter, and saw both Fluttershy and Pinkie walking out, both apparently laughing at some unknown joke. While Rainbow Dash still looked rather stony faced at Pinkie, still not completely forgiving her for upsetting Fluttershy, the sight of them both laughing couldn't help but bring a smile to Rarity's muzzle.

"So, I see you two made up," exclaimed Rarity.

"Of course," said Fluttershy, "I could never stay mad at Pinkie." She punctuated this statement by giving her friends neck a quick nuzzle.

"Aww," said Pinkie, wrapping her hooves around Fluttershy and bringing her friend in for a rather large hug. "I'm grateful to have a friend like you, Fluttershy. And you guys too, Rarity and Rainbow," she said. Making sure to leave none of her friends out.

The hug between Fluttershy and Pinkie lasted for several moments more, leaving Rarity and Rainbow standing around and feeling rather awkward until a rather ladylike cough broke through the tension.

"Ahem, Pinkie, Darling, didn't you bring us here for something?" asked Rarity

"Okie dokie lokie, Rarity, time to get back to business."

A pink blur flew across the room, and almost instantly, Pinkie had moved from hugging Fluttershy to standing, once again, at the head of the table. Standing straight upright, her hooves resting on the table, a riding crop now, somehow, gripped between them. It appeared that she was once again in 'boot camp sergeant' mode.

"Right you lovely and rather wonderful ponies," she said this time, a rather lot softer than previous and without the hoof slam. "I'm sure you're all aware of the situation." A yellow hoof rose carefully into the air.

"Um, Pinkie, actually I'm not. You just appeared out of my bathroom cabinet as I was preparing to go to bed and told me to come to the library. I have literally no idea what's going on, sorry." Said Fluttershy.

"Hey! No reason for you to be sorry, Fluttershy, it's Pinkie's fault for dragging you out in the dead of night." Snorted Rainbow, setting Pinkie with an angry gaze.

"Fillies, fillies, please, I'm sure if you'd give her a second, she'll explain the situation." Said Rarity, bouncing her coif of hair with one of her pristine white hooves.

"Fine... But hurry up with it, Pinkie," sighed Rainbow.

"Alrighty," Pinkie quickly resorted the papers that she had knocked previously before continue to talk. "As you all know, Twilight and Applejack have both spent the day in Canterlot, both of them having their own meetings with Princess Celestia. As I'm sure you also know, they were both meant to have returned on the last train to Ponyville." Pinkie pointed her crop to a piece of paper displaying the train timetable, on which the arrival time of the last train of the day was circled in red.

"However, as you can tell from the very Twilight free library, they did not arrive on the last train like they promised they would." Pinkie's eyes began to twitch as said this. "Now, since they would never willingly break a Pinkie Promise, I can only come to the ultimate conclusion that both Twilight and Applejack have been kidnapped. The Princesses as well probably."

A loud Eep filled the room, as Fluttershy quickly hugged the ground, placing her forehooves over her head as she considered her friends being kidnapped. At the same time, both Rainbow and Rarity shared another look before Rarity turned to her now very worked up pink friend.

"Pinkie, dear, don't you think you're being the teeniest bit paranoid? I mean, who would even be able to kidnap Twilight, Applejack and the Princesses in a city filled with Royal Guard?" asked Rarity, her face filled with a mixture of concern and pity.

"Changelings?!" Pinkie suggested.

"The Changelings were blasted all the way to the badlands by Cadance and Shining Armour, Pinkie," said Rainbow.

"Really?" asked Pinkie, her face filled with confusion. "When was that?"

"Errugh," Rainbow let out a groan as she literally facehoofef. "Pinkie, you were there."

"Hmm, you'd think I'd remember something like that."

There was an audible and repeated slamming that filled the room as Rainbow went over to one side of the room and repeatedly smacked her head against a bookcase.

"Pinkie, surely you remember the royal wedding being invaded by Changelings and Cadance and Shining Armour blasting them away with a wave of love?" said Rarity, as she made her way over to make sure her skittle coloured friend was alright.

"Oh that blasting away of Changelings..." said Pinkie, her eyes glazing over as her head was filled with vivid images of that day. "I remember that. I just didn't realize they were blasted that far, I just thought they were kicked out of the city. Those poor things, shivering and alone in the badlands with nothing to keep them company except all sorts of nasty monsters."

"You mean like them?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"They're not all monsters, Rainbow, that one who copied me during the fighting seemed nice for instance." Said Pinkie, pouting. "I mean seriously, how judgmental can you be?"

"Pinkie, darling, need we remind you about how you reacted to Zecora?" asked Rarity.

"Okay, so I overreact sometimes," said Pinkie. "But that's no excuse for blatant Changeling racism."

"But you just accused them of kidnapping our friends!" shouted Rainbow.

"Yes, but I didn't call them monsters," said Pinkie.

The room fell into an uneasy quiet as Pinkie and Rainbow just glared at each other, neither understanding why the other was acting the way they were. After a couple of seconds, Rarity and Fluttershy could't deal with it anymore and decided to move the situation along.

"Um, anyway, perhaps we better change the subject?" Suggested Fluttershy.

"Exactly," agreed Rarity. "Regardless of your view of Changelings, I doubt they kidnapped Twilight, Applejack or the Princess's."

"Then maybe it was Dragons," said Pinkie.

"Pinkie, our friends have not been kidnapped." Stated Rarity

"So, why haven't they come back?" asked Pinkie

"Um... Maybe they got tired after their meetings and decided to stay the night?" suggested Fluttershy. "The journey is a couple of hours."

"Thank you, Fluttershy, a completely reasonable suggestion." Said Rarity. However, Pinkie wasn't quite as easily pleased. She grabbed Rarity's face between her forehooves and smooshed the Unicorn's cheeks together.

"Then why didn't she send a message to spike?" asked Pinkie. "Answer that, Rarity."

"That's easy," Rarity struggled to speak with Pinkie's hooves squeezing her face. "Twilight realized that Spike would already be in bed given the hour and decided she didn't want to wake him. And, she trusted her friends to be completely rational and not overreact to her absence. Something which I now think was an oversight on her part given who one of a friends is."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Pinkie accusingly.

"It means you're an irrational feather brain who always overreacts to the slightest thing." Answered Rainbow. "Or do you forget when I spent a week at the Wonderbolt Academy?"

Upon being reminded about that particular experience, Pinkie's face went a bright red and she sheepishly released her grip of Rarity's face, causing the Unicorn to breath a sigh of relief.

"Okay, so maybe I sometimes overreact. 'Sometimes'." Said Pinkie. "But, I still feel I'm right about this. My Pinkie Sense has been tingling strangely all day, and I don't know why, but something is wrong."

The whole group collectively sighed, they were used to Pinkie's Pinkie Sense and knew better to argue against her in these situations.

"Okay, Pinkie. Let's just say we agree with you, what's the plan?" asked Rainbow.

Pinkie smiled at her friends.

"You believe me then?"

"Your Pinkie Sense has never been wrong before." said Fluttershy.

"Alrighty then." Pinkie pointed to her notes on the table. "First, we'll need to travel to Canterlot. Secondly, we'll need to infiltrate the palace and find and, if necessary, rescue Twilight and Applejack. Thirdly, we find out what's going on and fix whatever problem they have."

"Shouldn't fixing the problem technically be step four?" asked Rarity.

"Perhaps, but maybe that's what they want us to do? Hmm, ever thought of that?" replied Pinkie.

"Um... forget I said anything." said Rarity "But regardless of how solid a plan, you forgot one thing. There isn't a train this late, so how do you expect us to get to Canterlot?"

"Oh you silly filly, by map of course." Said Pinkie with a large smile.

Chapter 17

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 10

The hospital was heaving, it's staff stretched thin, almost to the point of breaking. Every single room and ward available was being used to house the victims of a recent train crash, involving the collision of two locomotives which had left many dead and hundreds of others injured. It was all hands on deck in order to save as many lives as possible, no doctor was spared from overtime, not even the Dean of Medicine.

Eric Foreman stood was attending one of the survivors of the wreckage, not one of the worst off, but they had still suffered a rather serious gash to the head. He had just finished stitching the wound and was about to start testing for a concussion when a rather, tall, handsome man with sandy hair and an outrageous accent charged into ward.

"We've got a problem!"

"I'm well aware of the problem Doctor Chase, it's a problem everyone - including your team - apart from you seems to be dealing with."

Chase took a moment to survey the seen of chaos that filled the ward. "Oh, the train wreck? Yeah I know about that, I just got a bit distracted."

"Distracted by what?!" Foreman was nearly shouting, however, his face was still as emotionless as ever.

"This." He reached into his lab coat and pulled out a folded up piece of paper and handed it to Foreman.

Foreman unfolded the paper and looked at for half a second before handing it back, "A photo? That's it? That's worse than the excuses House tried to pull."

"It was taken yesterday."

Quickly, Foreman took the paper back, and studied it intently. "Are you sure?"

"Positive, got a friend to check over and make sure it was legit, it's what took me so long."

Foreman stood perfectly still for a moment as his eyes scanned the paper. "We've got to find them."

"Aren't you going to think about the bigger issue? He's alive Foreman."

"Chase..."

Chase glared at him, "You knew didn't you?"

"I had reason to believe he was alive yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, it was only a hunch. Besides, lets say I knew for definite that he was alive, why should I have told you?"

"Because he's my friend," Foreman just stared blankly back at him. "Okay, my boss. But you still should have told me."

"Just drop it, Chase, whats done is done."

"Alright, so what do we do, Foreman?"

"We? We do nothing, I have to stay here and look after my patient and the situation here. You however, can find out where the picture was taken and get there as quickly as possible."

"Why me? And why do we need to go at all?"

"Because you think you're the only one to find this picture? He faked his death, Chase, and he had a lot of time left to serve. If the police haven't seen this picture, I'm sure they will soon enough, you need to get there to try and stop him getting arrested."

"Why do you care so much?"

"For the eight years that we've known him, he was an arrogant selfish ass who we tried to change many times. Or at least, Cuddy tried, and failed each time. Yet, two months ago, Chase, he changed."

"Changed? No one ever changes, Foreman."

"He did. Look, all he ever cared about was puzzles. Now tell me, would the person we knew have thrown all that away by faking his death? Never having the chance to practice medicine again."

"No."

"Exactly, yet, if he's still alive, that's exactly what he did. That means he changed. Sure it took Wilson's impending death to do it, but it's happened."

"Okay, you may have a point. I'll go find them and see what I can do." Chase took the piece of paper back, and left the ward.

Foreman looked down at his patient, their attention was focused directly upon him. Clearly they had been listening to his conversation. He sighed and muttered under his breath, "I hope you have a concussion."

House skidded round the corner, startling two nurses - he assumed they were nurses due to the white hats with red crosses they were wearing - who dropped a tray of implements and curses towards him as he suddenly appeared in front of them. He had to admit, it didn't seem that being in a land filled with ponies instead of humans was going to be all that bad, even if it was a hallucination or coma. He had his leg back, and could once again - it seemed - he could practice medicine, and hopefully it could provide a lot of puzzles - especially since he'd have a lot of new diseases to encounter.

He was practically giddy with excitement. First things first though, he had to find Princess Luna, after all, she was getting him a team. There was the added fact he had no clue where exactly he was, so he thought finding someone or a pony he recognized would be nice.

About to barge through a set of double doors, he found himself bounced back as the full weight of the doors hit him as they opened. Colliding with a nearby wall, he slid to the ground, and looked up with an irate smile to see a rather apologetic looking Luna and a pony behind her who was desperately hard not to acknowledge his existence.

"Ahh, Doctor House, there you are." She lifted him up with her magic and settled him on his feet. "Sorry about that, probably shouldn't have barged through quite so quickly." She gave him a few seconds to regain composure before continuing to speak. "I wanted to tell you that I've assembled your team," she shifted her wing to completely reveal Twilight to his vision, her face aghast at the knowledge that she would be working with him. "I would introduce you, but I get the feeling you already know each other." There was a faint glimmer in Luna's eyes, and House could swear he detected a note of Joy in her voice during her last sentence.

'It looks like I'm going to have a lot of fun messing with this Princess,' he thought to himself.

"Princess, I must state my disagreement with this decision. I can't work with him," complained Twilight.

Luna turned her attention to Twilight, hitting her with her best negotiating face. "Twilight, you can't expect me to believe you'd put my sister's - your mentor's - health at risk by refusing to work with him because of a simple upset."

"Technically, as part of 'my' team, she'd be working for me, not with me." Said House from the sideline, with a little bit too much glee.

"And it wasn't a simple upset, he tried to ride the Princess, Princess."

"Twilight, while it's likely that what happened to my sister is just the result of a simple accident, it's also possible it's something very serious. Neither I, or my sister, have ever been really ill our whole lives. Nothing beyond a cold. You must trust me when I say that it would be unwise to not have Dr House assist our own staff by providing his own diagnostics."

"Why should I trust you?"

Luna sighed and ran a hoof across her face, House observed that she clearly wasn't used to any of her subjects arguing back to her. After a couple of seconds she regained composure and leaned in towards Twilight. "Because Twilight Sparkle, I have talked to him myself, and when he said he was a Doctor back where he came from, he also said he dealt with cases that no other doctors of his kind could deal with. When he said that, I saw a gleam in his eyes which I have seen in various places throughout my life. In each case the gleam has meant one clear thing, that whoever had it did what they did because they relished the challenge, the puzzle, of it. It's a gleam that not even our own brilliant Doctor Hoarse has. And if I can think of any great medical puzzle, it's a seriously ill Alicorn, a pony with the traits of all three species of pony-kind, who never normally get ill."

"It is for this reason, Twilight, that I believe he would a great asset to us. His love of the puzzle presented, his drive to solve it, that will overcome any personal problems he has for my sister, or you for that matter, and ensure he performs his best. His 'need' to solve this puzzle is exactly what we need right now."

"Alright, that makes sense, I guess." Said Twilight, "It still doesn't explain why I should help him."

"I already said before, Twilight, he doesn't know anything about our physiology, I need you and all of your most likely extensive book knowledge to assist him. I know that your relationship with my sister will mean that, like him, you'll do your very best to find out what's wrong with her - if it's serious. Together, I bet you'll make an unstoppable team."

House rubbed his hands together gleefully, "Well, I'm game." He was happy to see that his eagerness put Twilight in a quandary. She didn't want to appear hostile after his willingness, making her out to be some sort of bad guy. At the same time, she didn't really want to work with him.

Hesitantly, she nodded her head, "I'm in too."

"Good," said Luna happily, "Now I have some business to attend to, the kingdom can't grind to a halt just because my sister is out of it. I trust you know your way around the castle enough, Twilight." Twilight nodded. "Good, well, I'll see you later." Luna gave the pair of them one last reassuring smile before disappearing through the same door she had come through previously, leaving the pair alone.

"So..." said Twilight, glaring hostilely at House. "You're the doctor, what should we do first?"

"Well, normally I'd do a DDX, try and tie symptoms to a diagnosis. Sadly we don't have any real symptoms. Nor do I have any medically trained minions to do my bidding. So I guess we should go to where she fell from and look for clues."

"I guess that makes sense, but might I just ask, if the princess still being out like a light isn't a symptom, what is it?"

"Elementary my dear Watson, it is a symptom, however it's a rather obvious and lest we forget, boring, symptom of her fall. No, the real interesting thing is why a being with wings fell in the first place."

Twilight sighed, House already looked like he was in his element, medicine was his expertise after all, and she felt that it could only cause his arrogance to increase. This was going to be a pleasant experience she could tell. "Alright, I'll take you to where she fell from. But I have to warn you, it's most likely from the balcony attached to her chambers, that means no snooping. You got me?"

"Crystal clear." Said House, his voice filled with what Twilight felt was too much joy for such a response. "Lead the way."

Wilson was worried, before him stood the three little fillies looked up at the guard with the wide-eyed innocence that only children could pull off. The guard stood blocking the way at the main gate to the palace grounds, his piercing gaze almost seemed to be staring into Wilson's soul.

The guard moved his attention from Wilson to Applebloom, "So you say your sister is in the palace right now?"

"Yes sir, her name's Applejack."

"And what was her business at the palace today?" asked the guard, his voice a nice neutral monotone.

"She had a meeting with Princess Celestia, I think it was something to do with discussing business." Answered Applebloom.

The guard thought for a moment, deciding what to do, before pulling a piece of parchment and quill from underneath his uniform with his magical grip. Quickly he scribbled something down, and with a burst of flames which caused Wilson to jump - a response which caused the guard to chuckle - the parchment disappeared.

"I take it you're not from around here, Sir?" the guard asked Wilson with a slight mocking tone.

"Y-you could say that, yes." the startled Wilson replied.

"So, what is your relationship to these fillies, sir?"

"Me? Um... Well, I had seen them wondering around part of the city rather lost. I had bumped into their sister earlier in the day, and apparently they recognized me and asked if I knew the way to the palace. I couldn't just let them wonder the city alone, so, here I am."

"Seems fair enough." The guard said.

For the next few minutes, the five ponies stood silently, Wilson and the fillies wondering what the guard was waiting for in order to make his decision. Eventually, an answer came in another flash of fire - which once again startled Wilson - when another piece of parchment appeared in mid air, which the guard caught in a magical grip before it hit the ground.

The guard inspected the piece of parchment briefly before nodding to the group. "Everything seems to be in order, through you go." The three fillies moved past the guard while Wilson stood hesitantly where he was. "It's okay Sir, you can escort them up to the palace." Wilson smiled sheepishly at him and moved through the gate and raced to catch up with the fillies that had already traveled quite a way up the path in their excitement.

As Wilson moved past, the guard noticed the lack of cutie mark on Wilson's flank and scratched his head with his hoof in confusion before muttering under his breath. "Wow, I feel sorry for whichever mare gave birth to that colt."

Twilight glared angrily at House as he searched Celestia's bed chamber, "I told you not to snoop around!"

"Who says I'm snooping. I'm only looking for common environmental causes of diseases."

"There won't be anything that causes disease in her lingerie draw!" shouted Twilight.

"You'd be surprised, mold can grow in the oddest places."

"Grrr, you are impossible!"

"Actually, I'm here and living, so you meant to say that I'm improbable."

"AHHH!" Twilight banged her head against the wall in frustration, causing House to grin like an evil genius.

'I've got to remember to thank Luna for giving me Twilight for a team later, she's so easy to wind up.' he thought to himself.

"Look, House, you've searched her room - and her drawers - thoroughly, now can we take a look at the balcony." she said in a strained voice as she struggled not to scream at the annoying creature in front of her.

"Alright, don't get your saddle in a twist." House dropped the pair of underwear he was holding back into the drawer, slammed it shut, and then headed out of the door onto the balcony that Twilight had already exited onto and began to inspect it with his scrutinizing gaze.

"Hmm, this is interesting," he muttered, looking at the tiled floor.

"What is?" asked Twilight as she trotted over to him and tried to see what he saw.

"See here," he pointed at some marks on the tiles. "Well, if we look at the rest of the floor it looks likes its recently been waxed. Here however, there are some streaks in the wax, looks like the Princess slipped here recently."

A light bulb went off above Twilight's head. "So she just slipped over the edge of the balcony, and this was all an accident. She's alright." A dreamy look of happiness appeared on her face and she moved to leave the balcony.

"Hold your horses, Twilight. Notice the curve at the front end here, facing towards the door?"

Twilight looked at the streaks and nodded, "Sure I do, what about it?"

"Compare it to your hooves."

Twilight did just that, and noticed that the curve only matched her hooves when she was facing towards the door. House watched her as she worked and smiled when a look of confusion appeared on her face. "But that means..."

"Exactly, Twilight, that she was leaving the balcony when she slipped. Now, how many ponies would slip while moving forwards and end up going ten feet backwards?"

Twilight gulped, "Well, there is one I know," she said nervously as she thought about a particular grey Ponyville mail mare. "But that wouldn't normally happen to a pony like the Princess."

House stood up, and moved over to the safety railing giving it and the tiles a base a quick glance before kneeling and calling Twilight over again. "See here," he pointed at more marks on the floor. "More scuff marks, again pointing towards to door. Looks like she ended up stuck against railing here, and ended up going over."

"Hmm, what does that mean?" Twilight asked, the curiosity showing clearly in her voice.

"That this was no accident. Given the height of the railing and the signs of struggle here, either she was pushed over. Which she could still fly. Or she does indeed have something wrong with her. Could be a simple inner ear problem, or maybe a neurological problem."

Twilight looked at him, "So you have an idea about what she has?"

"Not at all, I just know she must have some sort of illness from the evidence provided. And we do have one symptom, loss of motor control."

"Is that it?" asked Twilight, a note of frustration in her voice.

"It's enough, we proved that she's ill, so your medical teams can watch her closely. And we have a symptom so you can start searching for a possible disease."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you're the only one of the two of us that knows pony physiology, you have a better idea of what to search for. I on the other hand, need to start learning more about your medicine."

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed, "Fine! We'll go the library, just need to go via Applejack so I can tell her to come and get us if the Princess' condition changes."