Bad Ponies

by DmitriTheWriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Prince Blueblood, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Thriller, Original Character
Length: 1144

Celestia and Luna have been kidnapped by ninjas. Are Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor bad enough to rescue them?

Ninja related crimes have recently spiked within Equestria, and Canterlot is no exception. It's gotten so bad, in fact, that the Royal Sisters themselves have been taken hostage by the sneaky ponies and dragged off to some unknown location. What's left of the Equestrian government now employs the help of the only duo that can save them in this hour of need. Now Twilight Sparkle and her BBBFF Shining Armor have to answer one question:

"Are you bad enough dudes to rescue the Princesses?"

Published 2018-11-27 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-27 03:30:01 UTC

Prologue

Twilight Sparkle was a very busy pony. When the Cutie Map wasn't sending her and her friends all across creation to solve problems, she had to answer letters sent to her by ponies across Equestria asking for solutions to yet more problems. Her work had especially taken its toll tonight, as her hair looked like a rat's nest and her eyes were bloodshot. To her left, what was supposed to be a neat stack of answered letters

Spike noticed how Twilight looked. "Twilight, are you okay?" he asked. "Maybe you need to take a break from this whole letter-answering business."

"Maybe the world needs to take a break from its minor problems that they can solve for themselves," Twilight spat back bitterly. She was very tired.

As if on cue, Spike's cheeks suddenly filled, and with a burst of emerald fire he spat out yet another letter addressed to Twilight Sparkle. Spike grabbed this letter and reluctantly handed it to Twilight. "I believe it's for you," he said.

Twilight groaned and opened the letter. To her shock and delight, it was not a friendship problem, but rather an extremely vague invitation, nay, order to come to the Royal Palace at Canterlot by tomorrow at sunset. It was signed with the initials 'PB', leaving the sender's identity unknown, but Twilight didn't particularly care at that moment, as long as it was better than work.

"Whoa! Come to Canterlot by tomorrow at sunset?" Twilight said, bursting off into other parts of the castle. "I need to get ready right away!"

"But what about your letters?" Spike asked.

"Who cares about the letters?! This is important! Probably!" Twilight called back.

Shining Armor was a very busy pony. At only just barely early evening, he had just drilled the guards under his command for the seventh time that day, because apparently crystal ponies have never heard of things like 'military discipline', 'diligence', 'common sense', and a number of other related terms. This tends to make for very poor performance when they are made into guards, and did a number on Shining Armor's vocal cords to boot. To him, it was no wonder why the Crystal Empire got conquered so easily a thousand years ago.

Shining Armor watched his regiment of around two hundred guards march around the central square of the Crystal Empire's capital in what he supposed the crystal ponies thought counted as a formation but looked more like a disorganized mob and groaned, putting a hoof to his forehead. Clearly, it was going to be a long evening. At least, it would've been until a sealed envelope literally materialized, surrounded by emerald fire, out of thin air in front of his face. He took the letter, still dumbfounded at what had just happened, and opened it as the fire subsided. It was an order to come to the Royal Palace at Canterlot by sunset tomorrow, signed with the initials 'PB'. He assumed the 'P' stood for 'Princess' or 'Prince', but the 'B' could mean anything. He had no clue who sent this letter, and didn't particularly care, as he would take any opportunity he got to make this joke of a regiment somepony else's problem.

"Attention!" Shining Armor called out to his guards, only to be met with only half of a regiment standing at attention. The other half were still talking and joking amongst themselves. He cleared his throat. "I said attention!" he repeated, this time with a whole regiment standing at attention afterwards. "I have just received orders from Canterlot to be there by sundown tomorrow. This means you may all go home early tonight! You are relieved of duty!"

This announcement was met with thunderous rejoicing as the guards left the center square to paint the town red. Shining Armor, on the other hoof, left for home to pack and say goodbye to his family.

At around sunset the next day, Twilight Sparkle arrived at the front gates of the Royal Palace at Canterlot. Around the same time, Shining Armor arrived at the same place. They spotted each other just as they were about to climb the steps to the palace.

"Twily?" Shining Armor said, blinking a few times to verify that yes, this was his little sister.

"Shining Armor? You were invited too?" Twilight asked.

"I guess so," Shining Armor said. "I guess we should go in, huh?"

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes rolled her eyes at her brother. "Well we didn't come here to admire the front gates, did we?"

Twilight and Shining Armor opened the doors onto a well maintained throne room. The torches were all lit, the red carpet was laid out, the walls and thrones looked well maintained. Everything looked rather nice. The only thing wrong was the conspicuous lack of Princesses Celestia and Luna sitting upon their magnificent thrones. Instead, upon the dais, there stood Prince Blueblood, wearing a nice suit and having perfectly coiffed hair just for the occasion. He walked down the throne room steps to greet them, his wide smile reflecting the torchlight in a way that seemed to make his teeth glow.

"Good evening Twilight, Shining Armor," Prince Blueblood greeted them amicably. "I'm glad you could join me this fair evening. Welcome to the Royal Palace!"

"Prince Blueblood?!" Twilight said. "Why are you here? Where's Celestia and Luna?

"And why did you invite us here to Canterlot?" Shining Armor added.

"Well, there's many reasons, actually. For one, there's been a lot of ninja-related crimes recently," Prince Blueblood explained, "and, unfortunately, my aunts Celestia and Luna were among the casualties of this crime wave. When I arrived to stay at the palace last night, they were both here, and greeted me with honor and dignity. The next morning, poof! They're gone! On the plus side, this makes me the highest ranked pony in all of Canterlot at the moment."

"Wait a minute," Shining Armor said. "How do you know they were kidnapped by ninjas?"

"Uhh...they left a note," Prince Blueblood said.

"The ninjas left a note, eh?" Twilight said, not entirely convinced.

"Look, the important thing is that you're both here at the Royal Palace. I invited you two over to ask you a very important question," Prince Blueblood said. "Are you bad enough dudes to rescue the Royal Sisters?"

Twilight and Shining Armor looked at each other and smirked. They produced pairs of sunglasses from their saddlebags and levitated them onto their faces. "Buck yes we are!" they answered simultaneously.

Author's Note

Are you a bad enough dude to give this fic a comment and rating?

Also, do you want me to continue this fic, or is it just a piece of garbage that should be left to die? Vote now on your phones! But don't vote so hard that the palace catches fire and burns down, please.