What is this place?

by karnazom

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Zecora, Human
Length: 5062

A human fell in equestria and makes fun of every places he visits(My random Thoughts)

What happen when a comedian fell in equestria, what if he hide's and made fun of everyplace he visits...Comedy Gold maybe

just random thoughts in my head.

(Warning:This story include lost n lots of refference's that will keep u 'countyn' till u 'finnish' them all, READ at your own time

Published 2018-12-03 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-09 04:36:21 UTC

Everfree forrest (gump)

The man has been walking in this forest for about 2 seconds and he is still riling up that the fact that he is stuck in a strange new world,he hit his head and, that after that he wanted no more than being an annoying comedian that annoys the bone out of people(or anything which helps)he has developed an weird feeling of weirdness ever since he was a child so he was determined to make the world a living dreamland because of what he's mother said "You can be whatever you want": to which he replied of being a comedian, clown, weirdo and a annoying prick to every one he meets.

He was bored out of his mindset so he decided to tell himself a joke with his two hands

"Oh man where am i?"the right ahnd questioned
"oh you'r on a runnin 'forrest'"the left hand joked to it's biological brother

As he strolled to himeself he thought to himself of how he was lost in the forest he was making jokes on how trees fell because they were 'high' the next thing he know was he fell in to the forest and got lost. "oh man this forest has alot of trees and a birch ain't one of these trees" he thought to himself

As he strolled in he notice a smoke hanging in the air and he suddenly realized he was "Fired " of being a comedian and also realized he found a hermit in the forest, as he walked to the directionof where the smoke trailing from he noticed "tomahawk" zebra holding somekind of herbs using her mouth"How do i know it's a her i ask"He thought to himself"well cause of her 'tomahawk' skills reminds me of a kid being forced to do a haircut...aaannnddd she saw me"and now shes running to her 'shack' i don't know why she's intimidated by me maybe because of the scary mask im wearing now, or the fact that im wearing a custome called 'clown suit' which involves clown make-up and a Scaredypants pants...Oh man she reminds me of rambo running away from a bomb

Oh, shes now has a 'broomstick'and now slowly 'creeding' into action, so i retreated silently before she pounces me with the stick "why does she have a broomstick but i don't"I thought to myself, and backed out

Maybe i should just go and run in the Forrest "HEHE,GUMP,HEHE"i giggled at the thought,althought the forest is eerie there's nothing but a good ole 'joker' can handle

hmmm maybe i should go to the north, maybe things won't go south, And i don't even have a compass.

As i headed north i notice some odd things, first is why is their no people in this place and second is why am i always making fun of everything"What is this place?"i thought to myself "Well atleast there's no north veitnamese from rambo"I Joked to myself again,and strolled past that once again

Meanwhile in his thought's
Oh man we were just about to hit the 'jack pot' and suddenly i'm in this world that the air smells funny and weird ,i just wanted to backflip into a pool then i fell in this world, and i don't even know what is going to happen with my 'grandmama' when she can't file her papers, what will happen to her?
Oh man i wished i have a dictionary so i can traslate what the 'earth' is saying to the forest because this forest is weird mainly because of the thorns and every bad-nice...okay if i can just calm down i woul-

10 min later

OH NO OH NO OH NO,IM LOST, THATS IT IM LOST WHAT AM I GONNO DO HERE OH HERE WE GO AGAIN GONNA CUE THE VIETNAM JOKES AGAI-

After calming down

Okay im gonna go to the direction i was heading im gonna calm down and not panic just because im lost...okay i got this

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to the real life

As i walked far into the north i noticed the forest has an eerie chicken snake which is exactly i am facing away now and hiding from now on, the snake reminded me of the 'chupacabra' somehow and how reptilian it's scales are and how i 'Chickened out of the scene' is entirely emberassing and snuck out and ran.

But as he snuck out the Snake hissed it's togue as thought trying to detect me in it's sight so i should be careful of where i step, i got lucky cause the first thing i saw as i survey my areas was a stick and i almost stepped on it and almost go my self on a 'sticky' situations as i snuck away from the chicken-snake i ran to the first sight of civilization

As i ran aimlessley my heart beating, my breath inhaled and exhaled sharply as i decided to climb the flawless looking hilltop with trees on it's top "Weird and perfect place to rest for once" i thought to myself.

As i reached the top of the hill i saw a barn-house "Does shaun the shep live here?Or does his master is gone."i questioned the sight i was seeing, to make sure my eyes weren't decieving me i rubbed it and it is still there which confirmed my suspicion on my lower body

"i'm hungry" i exclaimed to myself, As i formulate a plan on how to 'borrow' the apple's i surveyed the landscape and said to myself once again"i need to stop talking to myself and just think about it"

Time traveling(5 min l8r) in the future i noticed a rows of fences and noticed another feature...rows of carefully planted apples,"man,the people who plants these apples must be 'hardcore' and has a 'crunch' on their tree or something southern"i Joked to myself again and i retreated back to the forest and rest for a while and ruminating on what happend to these past events
"man, if i ever encounter snake-chickens again,i need to eggsercise" i joked to myself and rested

Author's Note

What am i doing with my life

Just some random thought's

Sweet delicious apples

it's dawn and the air is cooling down, after i woke up from my nap i wanted to eat those 'Sweet delicious apples' because my sneaking processes is making my throat fell like a drywall.
Remembering that i have to give myself a pat on the back i need to rethink 'everythink' and the strange part is i can think clearly now, which is good thing because now it's time to steal some 'sweet delicious apples'.

surveying the area more rational i found out that indeed animals do have sapient life and maybe monster too assumingly, snapping my thoughts away i looked at the barn and saw lights and a 'red horse' is walking down the dirt road along with a orange-looking-cowgirl-looking horse with their muzzles more cute and their eyes are Really big, which i find bizzare considering im like in a lil'girls cartoon or something like that.

My eyes followed them while im in a prone position to make myself harder to see and behind a bush too i saw them talking?, well i am in a diffrent world so...man i need to panic later and stay calm, they were talking and they trotted until they reach the barn which i assumed that it was their 'Homebarn' or something.
Deciding to get really close to those horses i snuck my way in closer,i climbed the fence carefully trying not to make a sound while im at it and trying to see if i can hide behind these rows of trees as i peekd to the right i saw what is in 'buttside' the red one has a green apple while the orange one has tree dangling red apples man they are 'hardcore' apple fans or something to get an apple tattoo.

As i heard cloping noises i saw a lil'horse walking behind them the lil'horse has a bowtie on it's mane or hair man she reminds me of a lil girl named jesse, she loves cowboys wearing bowties and tuxedos(What?),unlike the apple tattoos she has a shield with an apple in the middle okay they are all realated maybe which i find weird and her eyes are glittening? maybe shes...nevermind

As i obsereved a little further i seen them all entering their barn and Eating dinner, wow They really are horses with unnatural talents maybe i should just sneak in and steal some apples

As i delved deeper into the apple farm i thought to myself

"You should really get rid of all these terrifying mask and me-old-additude"my good conscience spoke

"We should give'em a good scare and maybe they will run away and you will vandalise their property like a naughty 18y old boi" my eveil conscience spoke

"Maybe you should just steal the apples and go and get rid of your 'attire'" My neutral conscience spoke

"NO! give'em a good scare they are just lil'pumpkins and get them out of these place"

"Yes! you will get and-" My thoughts were stopped as stick hit my face creating a loud crack sound, as i fell i looked around and saw a Raking stick hit my face OH WHY DID I FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!.

As i heard light being turned on, i Panicked and went in a mad grab on apples dangling on the trees and only got 3 apples and dashed away into the forest, Fearing capture i ran as fast as i could and maybe they will be angry at me and maybe say,

"WHERE ARE YOU AT!" i thought, But suddenly it's not my thoughts, it was synchronized with a VOICE!

As i got even more afraid, even more of my capture, i Ran as fast and vaulted over the fence while on my mad sprint and making random movements to make the horse 'predator' confused, It was tiring as my heart was 'punping' out of control and my breath getting sharper every seconds,as the chase went by the seconds i heard the horsey yelled

"GIT BACK HERE YA VERMIN!" A horse yelled,as i was far enough distance from an angry horse it said" ah'm git you fer this!" As the voice of the horse trailed away as the further i go.
------------------------------------Evertrees forrest----------------------------------------------------------
As i finished my sprint i was conflicted that the Animals in this place, having Voices was almost impossible because their vocal cords are too small or muscled,i don't know what to think anymore so i decided to rest before i get somekind of headache or something But first i need to get a date to 'crunch' on these apples.

As my teeth sunk into the apple my eyes went wide as the apples i tasted was good like really it was crunchy and softly filling at the same time it was a total shock to me because it reminded me of a little childhood memories.
-------------------------------------------Flashback---------------------------------------------------------------
As i fell on my back i hit my head and cried for a kiss on the back to make the pain go away as i repeated the motion of kissing so i can my Parent's attention but to no avail.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM" dada was shouting to mommy

"I *hic* Don't t t know wh-what you're ta-ta-talking about*hic*" as momma was hiccuping as she drank water with cup?

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT HE IS DIAGNOSED WITH IT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME EARLIER AND NOW HE IS GOING TO-"dadda suddenly stopped and looked at me with...scared eyes?

momma was crying because dada was angry at mommy...maybe mommy said something to make dada hurt because dada teared a paper apart again and again,Maybe i should ask my big bro what is happening

"son"dada said"What are you doing here?"mamma said
"I got hungry" i said
"Here"dada said tossing me an apple that he took from a table fruit"Eat up son,your going to have some good future a-and everything is going to be Just fine"momma said sadly?
As i sink my teeth unto the apple the apple was Bittersweet it was sour for a bit but it was sweet, as i chewed the apple i looked up to my mama and papa with happy eyes,they smiled and mama stopped crying and hiccuping and put the bottle on the ground and she smiled for with a happy eyes and they hugged me which i i slept unto their arms and they said
"Sweet dreams, and don't let the nightmare wake you up" and i slept
--------------------------------------End of flashback-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note

i'll try to update this often

wow the story got sad unexpectedly

The nightmare woke me up

After my flashback a single drool came out of my mouth as i ate the second appple and i thought "Where do i get more of these" it was already nighttime and it is time to go to sleep

and i thought and hoped of dreaming of 'disco' dancing aliens with grey pants, shaking away from the random thought i searched for some leaves and some sticks and covered myself with leaves in order to keep me warm for a bit because this suit is thick "Which im glad i wore the thick version of this suit" enough to keep me warm for the night and really uncomfortable and i should get my sleeping position good

5 min later

As i rolled to the left, i can't decid of which sleeping formation i should go for the face first or the back

3 min of rolling around and finding a comfortable position

AGH! Why is it so diffcult every time i sleep early at night

2 min later

Alright i found a comfortable sleeping position right now and now it's time to go to sleep *sigh* goodnight

--------------------------------------Dream----------------------------------------------------------------
As i opened my eyes i was greeted with the sight of nothing,as i imagined a wonderland of dreams i was glad i have the ability to lucid dream and really had fun with my dreams almost everynight because of this ability

As i imagined, dancing infants walking in the bar they made a joke if they were too young to enter a bar and they said "yes, yes we are", i also noticed of a figure that looks like a weirdo and eating waayy too many shrimpanzess was choking from a coconut and a flying tortoise was choke holding the guy and he ran away partly because the tortoise was choke holding him out

An a glimpse catches my eyes and saw a Orangutan on it's 'black back' i saw a guy clopping his way to the horse the guy proecedded to kick the horse and and liking himself

Then as i slelpt i noticed a weird shimmering darkness and it's calling me to grasp it, at first i was confused and seconds later i knew this was a dream so i curiously grasped the shimmering drakness and...

Nothing

I see nothing, i feel nothing and i cant'thing of nothing and and i hear whispers that forrest gunp is fake, and i snapped away from the unserious question i saw some weird "thing" it's moving and it is apporaching me, as i tried to think of some-thing a ghastly face appeared in front of me as the sounds of a beating heart n crying voices was mixed in the background as my dream feel a bit claustrophobic like i was insisde a mask, i succesfully think of somethink and an note was in my hand's which reads

"mY fRiENdS arE nOT ReAL JAMIE TheyeEYE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" As tHE AgonZiNG SuND WAs tOMUxh fUR mEh I-i....

WOKE UP FROM MY NIGHTMARES, I WAS NOT IN CONT-

--------------------------------------Waking up to the real world--------------------------------------------
I woke up from my Scary dream and i felt the sensation of sweat all over my upper body, (and a wet pants too)and i Looked around as i wondered what was in my dream, It was accurate of what happend i am confused of why im always waking from horrific nightmare almost every time unbereably "*Sigh* i Need to walk to take my mind off it, and maybe go exploring or something as i stood up i walked and wandered around for a bit

I walked and walked around the road and walked "IN" to the forest and enjoying the beatiful scenery of the night has to offer i Watched the sky it was beatiful and the twinkling stars amazed my eyes as a tear came out of my eye, as i kept staring at the stars i noticed a Weird Lights, as i Looked closer i saw a fire Not just any fire but a lantern and not just the lantern floating it was in the maw of the orange cowgirl and she has a very determined face(Because, you know her eyes are expressive) as i stepped back silently(knowing her ears are really sensitive to sound) and peered around the tree and watched her as she counting the tree?

4 min later

As i watched her Counting her trees(Maybe?), she slowly trotted back 'barnhome' and Blew te lantern off and Maybe went to bed, knowing she will be Alert the next time i steal apples from her(Maybe she will get some kind of lasso or something), I walked off the scene and decided to follow the dirt road and see where it leads.

The journey to find what is in the other side was a refreshing walk and caused me to push myself a little further into the road and saw a another barn this time with a bell on the top, as i sureveyed the landscape i see all kinds of playeground equipments, there was a sandbox and various toys and it looked like a nursery school and i decided to see what was inside and walked toward the school, i peeked through the various windows of the place the first window was a calssroom with heart-shaped tables (Weird, It reminds me of kids getting on it),bookshelves,chalkboard and a table with and apple in it(I guess they don't have to visit the doctor everyday), as i finished peeking through the window i walked to another window and peeked and saw a science lab?, not sure of what to make a thought out of this i contineud to peek until i finished all the windows and saying to my self This is one heck of a boring school, althought all schools aren't boring like the last time i was in...
-----------flashback story--------------------------------------

me
A prick of the school
16 years old
Mum got invited to a party
mum's friend was offering me "milk"
Thinking Milf instead of milk
Said "I want milf pls"
everyadult shocked
mum's friend look horrified
Husband looked shocked
I was giggling like a freaking prick
next day
Mum's friend is a faculty staff
I would get weird looks from her
Shenanigans as a teenager later
Visits a friend outside of school
Learn's what the meaning of Milf from him
MY FACE when i realized what sex means
Regrets going to school ever again

AND

Me, 17
At college, i hate college
Teacher asked me a question
me totally confused for not listening
teacher asked again
me Answered randomly
teacher said "wow"
My face when she said wow
later
Teacher said i didn't do a good job
Nooo.jpeg
I got the cancer called sadness
ate ice cream and still continued college
--------------------Flashback story end--------------------------
After School i Travelled across the world and tried to be a comedian and a street performer it was good money when you know your stuff.

As i got bored i wanted to explore the dirt road i was nervous of the dirt road at first but now is a good time, and i was walking following the dirt road to where it leads

a few minutes later i was walking slowly and i was still conflicted as to why im still here as i followed the path i heard an howl coming from the forest, birds flew and cack and the moon is covered by a cloud and a pair of ghostly green eyes gazed unto me and continued to stare until the predator revealed it self.

It was a wolf but not just ordinary wolf, It was made of wood (woodwolf?), twigs and sticks, it was circling me examining me if i was delicious or not i was not liking the attention, fear struck my mind as i was frustrated of how i let my guard down and stopped making silent movements, as the wolf growled at me it pounced to me, i sidestepped and ran straight to the dirt road.

"I hope i get to see a civilization or somekind after this"

Author's Note

Trying to update the story from a recent blackout to Your area is hard
especially when the area is prone'd to typhoons

On my way to the wilderness instead of civilization

As The growl was getting aggressive the wooded wolf was still chasing me with it's twiglgly paws as it tries to circle me with it's tactics as i, i panted and got scared as my clown make up was long gone as the sweat and rolling around was the cause of it (and also tripping).

As the wolf was going to encircle me again i flanked left and turn around in order to confuse the wolf and save me some energy for a bit, i no longer caring if i was loud or not as my clown shoes are making it diffcult and not properly tied so i might have the chance to trip on my own shoes, as the wolf stopped on it's tracks i waited for it pounce on me instead it lowered itself and ready to claw me with it's paws

I took advantage of the distraction and ckicked the wolf which send it to a confusing daze as i ran toward the forest in order to lose the wolf to the trees( hehe wolf tree).

Trees obscure my view and shrubs have tiny pricks and the wolf is still a prick and the bushes are slowing me down for being a pricks as the pricks, pricked me all over and over again as i ran toward i glanced the area and found a small bridge and the wolf's grownl and howl was gone the couple of second as if the wolf knew that it was being a prick and twigged himself out of here and ran away

Noticing a small stream of water i took advantage and kneeled and put my whole head into the water but ended up with a bump in the top of my head because of the dull rocks, so i decided to just use my mouth, as i drank the water like a hungry baby i drank fast almost making it's way into the wrong hole, and slurping the water quitely

Sexonds past the i was beyond saturated and reliefed as the water quenched my thirst for water, as i looked forward i saw a small cottage with birdhouses hanging and small hole that can easily accomodate a mouse and a small oblong shaped door has a door and that confused me partly because of there was hoofprints on the bridge which my perceptive eyes saw it is a good thing i have excellent vision or i would've never been prepared unto what to do

Knowing it is going to be another horse i slowly and creepily walked towards the small door and twisted the handle and was suprised of how unlocked the door is and does not make a creaking sounds like other doors do, as i walked in i saw a couch,rags, mat ,tables and anything you can find in a living room the room looked comfy but i have to search the house first before going to sleep in the couch

As i silently walked toward a room i saw a kitchen and a fridge, as i opened the fridge i was neutral and calm as the fridge was filled counters with fruits and vegetables without meat (of course) , as i walked in to another room i glanced at the couch and was suprised of a white rabbit sleeping on it and was emberassed of not seeing the rabbit but nevertheless silently wlaked hehe and passed by the rabbit knowing it's sensitive ears can hear me for miles away, as i noticed another room door i slowly twisted the handle and saw a butter horse with wings on it's back, gazing a little longer i noticed the horse has a pink butterlfy butt-tattoo on it's butt-side

Knowing it's ears are sensitive as the rabbit i slowly walked out and decided to grab a pillow, as i stealthily sneaked to the winged horse and grab a pillow on it's head (BAD MOVE)

As i was halfway through the horse was whickering, knowing his/her pillow is being pilnapped i grabed the pillow and burst'd out of the door while hearing a out of the cottage via running, like a thief being caught cheating with his wife, and running and screeching noise was in the air which is VERY loud and the very definition of deaf man as like hacker man or something

As i got out of the cottage noise was gone and the screech was replaced with a bear growling, and here i thought i had a bad idea and it was good,

Gathering all of my courage I decided to run like a cat and ran i did, my heart was pounding my heart beat is very audible from my chest, my lung breathing up and down desperate to gulp much air as possible, but as i looked back the bear was Fast and really wanted to hug me or something, so as the same as the wolf i went to the forest and zigzag my way out of here but the bear is still in my chasing me the bear is freaking fast Oh my gulay I need to lose the bear fast before i ran out of breaths.

Using the last of my energy i made a last ditch approach to the bear so i can put all of this behind ,as i dashed to the right and jumped over the rock and vaulted over a slab of bushes, and ran behind a tree and dashed left and running confusingly to confuse the bear out to submission(What am i rambling?)
Seconds past i looked around and trying to spot the bear,but it isn't there in my sight i used my hearing skills and its not there so wiping a sweat from my brow and thanking myslef that i drank water from the stream i put all of it in my back as the weight of unusual is getting high Weird.

As i looked around the forest i found myself passing out of exhaustion and... fell asleep

Author's Note

Sooooo, what's next?

Okay, now is the time

I was woken up when a sensation of in my back which is weird because i do not have arthritis but am expecting one in the next years, I stood up and glazing around my surroundings i noticed my face was covered with dirt so i wiped it off spitting some dirt in mouth and looked for a stump or a comfortable enough to sit down i found a small patch of clean grass as i tried to ruminate my dream when i passed out last morning
-----------------------------------------------------Dream(again)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was suprised when i opened my eyes when i saw a clown head with a chicken dinner title on her shirt as she tried to dance her way out of the cage as i looked at the opposite side of the cage i saw a lion holding a chair and a whip, as the tiger continued to whip the clown the clown made a gesture of obscene nature, as i lookedfor my happy place of my weird dream with a chaotic background as buildings where tilted and most building where upside down, it looked like a ville city but im not sure where i got the word ville on my mouth

As i explored my dream i noticed that i was running out of nighttim so i have to explore the strange dream before it goes away, As i ran around jumping on tops, buttoms, middles, and even sideways i could not find a "fragment" but i searched through nonetheless.

In spite of all of this i kept my pace and continued my search, as the 4 min mark count is on i saw a certain, letters from papertowns that was fabricated from my own memories, i frowned at the sight of a strange monster i was reflected upon the floating mirror as MY reflection screamed n yelled saying
"Ur a prick bruh"yelling without moving its maw
"Not u, me" I replied,as my expression was turning into a small smile

It was one of those moments in my dreams that everything is soo random that you're perception on reality is getting blurred, even though i have experience this before my head still hurts from...I don't know

"Okay" My reflection said as he disappeared

And then suddenly

I was met with a sight of a female clown holding of which appears to ba a lion's mane, how do i know this i questioned my pet dragon, he is 5 feet tall, with a purple scale, with spikes on his back.

"Well, sit down and let the story flow through my mouth" I Replied, sagely to myself and the dragon

“Alright show me what u got granny”I said,Confusingly

I have never been in this strange dream before, how can i open my true eyes, how does the bear poop with it's mouth(why did i said that?)(Wait i can think rational now, this is nice now finally think this through now that i ca-)

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud piercing noise, enough to break a glass as my head was spinning around and round with my perception being more slurred by every 9 seconds