The first day of the five day long Festival was approaching and so every able bodied pony with time to spare was pitching in, setting up tents, stalls and various other methods through which wares could be sold, games could played and assorted other entertainments could be enjoyed.
Horseshoes, being a trainee whose application to join the knights was still under consideration, had been given the task of overseeing everything. Her friend Lickety Split was helping with the design and construction of some attractions, in return for the Union providing him with a new home after it was destroyed during Groger's attack.
She REALLY didn't want to remember that time right now. Now was the time to prepare some fun and games...and she was bored out of her MIND. So many people to discuss arrangements with, so many things to inspect and ensure nothing unexpected would happen. It was all just too much for her to take. The only upside was being able to help in construction, which allowed her to do some heavy lifting and build up her muscles, she basically saw it as potential training, which while frustrating at times was still beneficial.
She blinked and she and several other ponies, Earth and Pegasus alike, stopped what they were doing and listened to the sound of wooden wheels creaking along. Eventually, a small caravan drove into the main square in front of them and stopped. A brown earth pony, wearing a black coat-tailed jacket, white shirt black pinstriped pants and a large black top hat, sporting a round object with a spiral symbol on it, sitting atop his well-groomed and slicked back dark green mane, stepped down from the driver's seat of the caravan and trotted into the back of his caravan, quickly taking out curtains, support beams and the like, setting up a stage, in front of which was a sign proclaiming 'Professor Zebediah J. Snake Oil's Emporium of Wonder and Delight'.
Horseshoes and the rest of the crowd walked over towards the stage, the other Pegasi and Earth Ponies muttering with each other. The well dressed Earth Pony stood upright on his hind legs atop the stage, a crook cane under his left foreleg.
He smiled at the crowd and tipped his hat towards them. "Greetings friends, I am Professor Zebediah J. Snake Oil III, and I am here to sell you some wares."
Horseshoes tilted her head in puzzlement, but still kept a doubtful look on her face. "Ok, well, sorry but we're not feeling too hospitable right now, the last outsider who visited us caused a real ruckus and we're kinda busy otherwise."
Snake Oil nodded, smiling calmly and confidently. "Now, now, just because one foreigner comes in and causes some mayhem doesn't mean that we're all bad. Besides, I was born and raised right in this here very town."
"We'll have to look that up later, or at least the knights will, after I inform them." Horseshoes retorted.
"Please do, you will find nothing untoward. Besides, I am only here to give y'all a spiel, hopefully interest you in buying something, and then be on my way. If you aren't interested, then I shall be just on my way out, even though all I'm interested in is helping you fine folks with your problems."
"How would you intend to do that?" A green Pegasus asked sceptically.
"Why I'm glad you asked!" Snake Oil grinned throwing his cane up and catching it as it descended, the cane spinning around in his hoof as up-tempo music began to play along with an old timey piano beat, and then he began to sing.
"Now look at all you ponies,
Standing around an' workin' hard.
Ain't ya all tired?
Ain't ya all sore?
Ain't ya got some problems?
Well if so, I've got the currrreeeee!
I have been all over, from the land of the Minotaurs
To the Empire of the Griffons
And all the places in between
And In my travels I did find
A magical, all purpose cure all
To wash away your cares!
And here is what it is!"
Suddenly he tapped his cane once against the floor of the stage and a table lined with hundreds of large green bottles rolled onto the stage from the right.
"It will cure ya what ails ya!
It will give you what you need!
It's Professor Snake Oil's
All Purpose Cure-All
And it is yours today!"
"What exactly does it cure?" Horseshoes asked.
"That's a very good question!" Snake Oil replied, pointing his cane at the pony in question.
"As it says on the bottle
It is a Cure-All
It will cure everything
From depression to chicken pox
To dementia and the chills!
I have sold it to many
Satisfied customers!
And while that may not tempt you
Perhaps a demonstration is in order!"
He took a quick swig from a bottle, and suddenly step backstage and returned while dragging a one ton weight from behind him, which he proceeded to lift up in one hoof with ease, as if it were as light as a feather.
"It will make ya strong!
It will make you healthy!
It will make you happy!
And me, I'll be wealthy." He whispered under his breath, facing away from the audience before turning back and continuing.
"It'll cure ya what ails ya!
It'll give you what you need!
It's Professor Snake Oil's
Magical Cure-All!
And it will be yours,
Satisfaction guaranteed!"
The other ponies started to nod along to the music, murmuring with each excitedly while Horseshoes tried to remain sceptical. "Where exactly did you get this 'Cure-All'?" She asked.
Snake Oil Smiled as he danced along. "Another excellent question!"
"It was during my travels
That I came upon
Some very special flowers
Some local Minotaurs, were kind enough give me
Their secret family recipe
that made this wondrous elixir!
And I regret I cannot tell you
What is in said recipe
What I can explain, iiiiiis
It will cure what ails ya!" The other ponies began to sing along.
It will give you what you need!
It's Professor Zebediah J. Snake Oil III's
Magical, all purpose, strength enhancing
Courage inducing, bliss making,
baby making, cold reducing
Wonderful!
Astounding!
Incredibllllle!
Cure allllll!
And it is yours for free!"
The ponies gasped in surprise at this. "F-FREEE!?"
He nodded before shrugging and giving a bemused smirk. "Well, to be fair, what I mean is the first SAMPLE is free, so y'all only get one bottle today, to try it out yourself. And by golly, if you don't come here tomorrow morning, ready to buy more, I'll eat my own hat and shave my hair!" he chuckled at this.
"I-I don't know everyone..." Horseshoes said. "It's too good to be true..."
"Healthy scepticism is only perfectly reasonable." Snake Oil said. "But surely you have some problem, something you want cured, some task you want to achieve but can't due to whatever reason. So tell me...what ails ya?" he leaned in, grinning wide.
She gulped, looking around. "I-I...I wanna be stronger so I can join the knights..."
"A fine dream that is!" He stated excitedly. "Very ambitious! Now, all of you, tell me what your problems are!"
"My joints hurt when i walk!"
"I-I want a guy I like to look at me!"
"I am having trouble seeing things properly."
"I'm colour blind!"
"I sprained my hoof!"
He slowly gestured his hooves downwards and quietened down the chorus of ponies stating their problems. "Those are all terrible, terrible afflictions, but do not worry, when I say it is a cure all, I mean it will cure ALL. Physical problems, mental problems, injuries, illnesses, even things that you don't think could be cured, will be so! Just take a free bottle and drink up!"
He threw a bottle at each pony, each one grabbing a bottle with either their hooves, within the sides of both forelegs or their mouths. Horseshoes grabbed one, looking at it carefully.
"If this really can cure all..." She thought to herself. "Then maybe...maybe it can help me become a knight..."
She gulped and after a short pause, shrugged and took a swig, licking her lips, and then suddenly downing the whole thing all at once. Her body felt stronger, her mind felt faster, she felt like she could do ANYTHING. She felt GOOD. Around her, several other ponies grinned wide, eyes wide with energy, each one holding a now empty bottle.
Snake Oil smiled. "Now...would you fine people care to buy some?"
Horseshoes and the rest of the crowd eagerly turned to the stallion. "I'll pay anything!"
He smirked. "Good...just give me your money, and I'll give you EXACTLY what you need..." He chuckled quietly to himself, still smiling, but the smile and his demeanour in general becoming more predatory.
Green Acres waited in the sparring field as Horsehsoes walked up, wearing ehr training armour.
"So, how are preparations going?" He asked with a smile. "Sorry it's not the most exciting job, but if you want to enjoy the festival, someone has to make sure it actually happens."
Horseshoes grinned wide. "Oh yeah it was totally fine! Yep, really not a big deal! Anyway, let's fight!"
Green Acres' brow rose at how chipper Horseshoes was, more so than usual at least. He shrugged it off and got ready to spar.
Only a few minutes after, he was on the ground, panting. "W-wow! Y-you're a lot faster and tougher than i remember! I guess all this sparring is starting to pay off huh?"
Horsehsoes nodded rapidly. "Yeah yeah yeah! So tell me tell me tell me! Am I in am I in am I in?"
"That's...not how application works. Sparring is simply to prepare you for examination, to make sure you're in perfect shape to finally join us. I know it can be tedious, but winning a single sparring match isn't going to automatically make you join the knights."
Horseshoes frowned and then brightened suddenly. "OH I see I see I just need more of the stuff!" She ran off before he could ask her any questions.
"What stuff?" He frowned in concern and puzzlement.
Razzle Dazzle was outside, writing an essay about magical theory, as per her Master's orders. However, with the festival coming closer and closer, she was growing more nervous. The only spells she knew and could perform adequately were levitation and some spells that Groger taught her, and there was no way she was going to use the spells taught to her by that...monster. She had begged and pleaded with Master Hocus Pocus to teach her more practical spells, particularly combat spells, but he had refused, stating that she was too young and new spells required plenty of practice and learning techniques and magical theories, but there was no way she was going to be able to pass the magical duel/exam with only telekinesis...
She tried desperately to ignore the part of her that pointed out that Groger had taught her more in a day than her Master had in over four years...
She heard a loud galloping and looked up, seeing Horseshoes gallop as fast as she could, moving past Razzle Dazzle in a blur, the pony speaking rapidly as she sped passed.
"HiRazzsorrygottarunneedthestuffseeyalaterhavefun! "
She blinked. "The hay?" She slapped herself in admonishment for that uncalled for language. That pony was becoming a bad influence...still, from what she was able to see...she didn't like the look in Horseshoes eyes.
She sighed, shaking her head. There was no way Horseshoes was in trouble, and besides, Horseshoes was an adult, and she had her freedom.
Razzle sighed and went back to her studies.
Snake Oil smiled as he accepted the money, giving Horseshoes a bottle of his Cure-All.
She eagerly drank it up, dark shadows under her eyes, her eyes looking in awkward directions, her coat a little paler. Snake Oil smirked.
"Now, if you manage to get some people interested in buying my Cure-All I'll be sure to give you THREE bottles on the house."
"Really!?" She grinned wide. "OH thank you!"
"And be sure to keep the knights away, understand?" She nodded enthusiastically and he smirked. "Good, just remember to spread the good word, and all will work out just fine."
She grinned and ran out, eager to earn more bottles. Snake Oil chuckled quietly, rubbing his hooves together.
Author's Note
Ok everyone, this is my first attempt to make a song as per MLP tradition, however I cannot write songs, so I won't be surprised if my attempt turned out...poorly, at best.
I hope you all enjoyed it and please comment!
"Hey! Have you heard about Professor Snake Oil's Patented Magical Cure-All?" Horseshoes grinned at a couple of ponies she was talking to in the middle of the city streets.
"Ummm noooo...?" They replied, brows raised quizzically.
"Oh well his caravan is out in the square! You gotta try some of his stuff it's amazing!"
"I don't know..." The stallion said. "It sounds like a scam..."
"Besides..." his girlfriend continued. "We don't have a lot to spend...we're saving up for our wedding..."
"Oh don't worry about it! The first try is free so even if it doesn't work for you, you won't have to spend a coin!"
"What exactly does it cure?"
"Everything and anything!' Horseshoes skipped and jumped with a grin. "That's WHY it's called a Cure ALL and not a Cure SOME."
"Well...I have been trying to go on a diet." The mare admitted. "Can it help me with that?"
"And can help me keep up my stamina?" The stallion asked.
"Sure! And even if it doesn't, it's not like you actually bought it."
"True...Alright, we'll just try a sample, but we're not going to be making any promises."
Horseshoes nodded enthusiastically and skipped off to talk to another pony she spotted, but she stopped in her tracks as Lickety Split hovered in front of her, blocking her path. "Horseshoes, what are you doing?"
"I am trying to help Professor Snake Oil get customers." Horseshoes stated simply, as if it explained everything completely.
"Why? He can run his own business, and besides, you got your own job to do, remember? You're in charge of preparations, remember?"
"But that's boring!" The Earth Pony groaned irritably. "Now, get out of my way, the more customers I get, the more Cure All I get!"
Lickety Split frowned in displeasure and snorted. "Fine. But once you're done, you better come back and help us. Enough people have stopped working due to this 'Cure All' fad..." He flew off to go back to his own work as Horseshoes looked up at him. He sounded really mad, and she was starting to feel bad... Oh well! Nothing like a bottle of the stuff to make her feel happy.
She smiled and shrugged it off as she bounced over to the next potential customer.
Razzle's horn glowed as she used her magic to turn the pages of her textbook, biting her lip absently as she read through the book, not seeing much point in what a Sphinx's riddle had to do with magic usage.
"Razzle!"
She looked up, her features becoming stoic as she saw Lickety Split fly towards her. "What appears to be the problem, Lickety Split? Aren't you supposed to be helping prepare for the festival?" She flinched inwardly as she tried to hide her growing apprehension about her own preparations for the later days of the festival.
"I am, but I can't really work under these conditions."
Her brow rose. "What conditions?"
The Pegasus sighed. "Ok, ever since this shady salesman showed up, more and more people are dodging work and spending more time buying this guy's 'miracle cure-all'. Right now, there are only five of us left doing any actual work!"
"A salesman?"
"He says he's actually from here, and that he just travelled all over the world, and now he's selling some magic potion that'll cure anything. People are now completely obsessed with the stuff and won't work!"
Razzle sighed. "That sounds problematic, but why don't you bring it up with the knights?"
"I would, especially so they can check up on this Snake Oil guy, that's the salesman by the way, but..." The Pegasus looked at the ground, rubbing his neck.
"But what?"
"But Horseshoes' the one getting everyone to buy from him. She's hooked on the stuff and thinks it'll somehow help her become a knight!"
"Well talk to her!" Razzle snapped. "If she doesn't perform her duties, her application to officially join may be rejected!"
"I know that! But..." Lickety frowned. "I'm worried about her...but...I don't think I should meddle...We aren't that close...not like you two are."
The unicorn looked away. "W-what do you mean by that? W-we simply tolerate each other."
"You two are besties and you know it." He countered with a wry smirk. "So I think either you or her brother might be able to convince her get her act together. Besides...I'm actually worried about telling the knights. What if her helping this Snake Oil character impedes her chances of achieving her dream more than her shirking her jobs?"
Razzle Dazzle sighed. "You're right...I...I don't want to risk her losing her chances...I'm sure if we just talk to her we can convince her to stop."
"Alright, follow me." He flew off toward the square and Razzle followed.
As the sun was setting and night was starting to fall, Horsehoes was leaning against a building and drinking down her bottle of well earned Cure-All, having earned eight bottles for her hard work.
"Horseshoes!"
The Earth Pony blinked and looked to her right, seeing Razzle Dazzle trot over towards her, Lickety-Split gliding above the ground from behind. Razzle stopped in front of Horseshoes, gazing at the green bottles that were resting on either side of Horseshoes suspiciously.
"What's up Razz?" Horseshoes asked with a carefree grin.
"What is 'up', is that you are seriously blowing your chances!" Razzle Dazzle snapped. "If you don't perform your duties correctly, there is a real chance the knights will reject your proposal to formally join! What are you even doing, sitting here and just drinking that...stuff!"
Horseshoes blinked. "Look, Razz, it's simple. It doesn't matter what happens, what could go wrong, because as long as keep drinking this stuff," she shook the bottle she was holding in demonstration, "then my enlisting into the knights is in the bag!"
"It's not some magical genie in a bottle!" The unicorn protested. "It's a freaking green bottle filled with an unknown liquid! Why do you think it'll be of any help to you in ANY way!?"
"Look, magic is a real thing right? So obviously if something is magic, it should be able to do something magical. Besides, Professor Snake Oil says it works, so it must."
"Why do you trust some person you never met before!?" Lickety Split countered.
"I dunno, it's just that the moment I tried some of this stuff, he just seemed very trustworthy, very...in charge. He's a cool guy!" Horseshoes grinned and took another swig of the cure all.
"Horseshoes listen to us!" Razzle Dazzle snapped and in her annoyance with her friend's nonchalant attitude snatched the bottle of liquid out of the Earth Pony' hoof using her magic. "We need to have a better look what it's in this 'cure all' before you drink any more of it! I mean look at you, you don't look healthy at"
"GIVE IT BACK!" Horseshoes roared and quickly rushed at Razzle Dazzle, punching her hard in the jaw and snatching the bottle back as the unicorn fell to the ground with pained yelp of surprise. "IT'S MINE! I NEED IT!" She quickly drank the bottle, calming down, and her look now cheerful and sunny. "Ok guys seriously, you gotta loosen up! Just talk to the Professor, I'm sure he'll hook ya up! Well later!" She grinned cheerfully, standing upright and carrying all of her bottles in her arms, not seeming to pay any mind to Lickety Split helping up the unicorn whom Horseshoes had just attacked so suddenly
"You alright?" The Pegasus asked.
Razzle looked up at him, looking pale and scared. "That...That was not normal..."
"You're right...I mean, I don't know her THAT well but...I've never seen her act like THAT."
Razzle Dazzle stood up, dusting herself off and rubbing her jaw, wincing in pain. "Ok, you go talk to Lieutenant Green Acres and tell him what's going on, I'll go have look at this Snake Oil guy."
"But what about Horseshoes?"
"That's why I said talk to the Lieutenant. He's her brother, he should want to make sure she doesn't get hurt by this any more than we do. Besides...If practically everyone is drinking that stuff and not just Horseshoes...Well, we'll need more than just the two of us to put a stop to it."
The Pegasus nodded and flew off as Razzle Dazzle headed towards the square to see the caravan that was causing all this.
"I just...I feel uneasy." Green Acres sighed as he spoke to his commanding officer, Minty Breath, the commander of all the knights.
"Look, I know how it is." She gently placed a hoof on his shoulder. "She just got lucky in her sparring match, and she's just getting impatient. You know how she is, she'll get over it."
"No, that's not just it." The Stallion shook his head. "She's been acting strange ever since I saw her today. Talking weird, muttering something about 'the stuff', her hairs all scraggly and messy...well, I mean, messier than usual, her coat is getting pale and matted in places, her eyes...she looks like she hasn't slept for days, but I saw her earlier and she looked fine..."
Minty Breath pondered that. "You think she might be sick?"
"A sick person wouldn't be able to beat the tar out of me..."He frowned in thought. "And...I just realised...When she beat me, she...it was almost as if...she was acting as if she was POSITIVE that she would be immediately accepted into the knights."
Minty Breath's eyes widened slightly. "But surely she knows that's not how the process works? Sure you've told her it's not that simple or easy?"
He nodded. "Numerous times, back when she first applied and was acting like an excited child, sure that she would be accepted on the spot..." He looked down. "I thought...I thought she had realised that...I thought I was a better teacher than that..."
Minty Breath patted the Lieutenant on his shoulder comfortingly, offering him a friendly smile. "I'm sure she's fine...and you are an EXCELLENT teacher, and I will not hear any talk saying otherwise, understood solider?"
He smirked wryly. "Yes Commander."
Suddenly, the door to the Commander's office flung open, a black Pegasus walking in quickly.
"Wait...I remember you." Green Acres muttered. "You're...Lickety Split right? You were the one that helped heal the Flutterponies when Groger was infiltrating the Kingdom."
LIckety nodded, looking at the Lieutenant seriously. "I...I need to tell you something...Well, really, I should've told you first..."
Green Acres' eyes narrowed. "Tell me what? What has happened?"
"Well...It's...It's about Horseshoes actually..." The Lieutenant and the Commander exchanged a look as the Pegasus began. "You see..."
Razzle Dazzle approached the large, gaudy caravan, the crowd's dissipating as night fell and everyone went home. She noticed that several people had purchased a fair few bottles of cure all. She did not like this at all.
She shivered a bit from the cold despite her standard cloak and vest, both from the cold and from the intimidating presence of the caravan. It stood as tall as a cottage, the wheels as large as her body, a strange mechanical device upholstered at the front of the caravan. She was unsure as to its purpose, and supposed she would need Lickety Split to take a look at it later if she ever had the chance. She walked up to the back of the caravan, spying a door.
As she neared, she closed her eyes, her horn glowing as her magic unlocked the door for her. It was tough, especially since she wasn't sure what type of lock it was or how it was built, but she decided to wing it and go through the usual methods. Fortunately, her first guess of a latch lock was correct and she merely had to use her basic levitation spell and not a more complex variant that her Master had taught her.
She slowly, carefully opened the door, careful as to not make a sound. Her hooves clip-clopped against the hard wooden floor, making her whince and she looked around.
A table, a chair, some leftover food left behind on a plate that sat on the table. Nothing seemed to out of the ordinary so far, she walked deeper in and saw a large table lined with bottles of Cure All.
"So many people have been buying this stuff, how can he possibly have so much in stock still?" She kept walking and saw a large mix vat, filled with a dark green, watery mixture. She gagged at the smell and saw a pot filled with a thorny, twisted, black coloured plant. It had no leaves or flowers, only thorns.
"What a weird plant..." She remarked and then noticed something hidden behind the vat and peered closer, pushing the vat out of the way to take a closer look at a large poster of paper nailed to the wall.
She gasped. The poster had a map of the Senate Building, instructions and directions...There wasn't enough details to determine everything, but she could see the direction this plan was heading.
"I...I got to tell the knights..." She turned and trotted back to the entrance of the caravan...and gasped as she saw an unfamiliar pony, and she was almost positive of his identity despite having never seen him before.
Snake Oil glared at her. "You do realise that trespassing on a person's private property is a crime, correct?" He smirked. "I could have you arrested."
She regained her composure and gazed at him calmly. "I had gotten lost."
He looked at her horn intently. "You're a unicorn, and I assume judging by your age you're a student."
"My...teacher had decided I should help the commonfolk prepare for the festival."
He snapped his hoof, whistling in remembrance. "Oh yeah, that festivals is coming along in a few days. Everyone must be working themselves to the bone." He silently moved to the side, allowing passage through. Razzle Dazzle slowly started walking.
"One other thing," Snake Oil began, "what did you find while you were snooping around in my caravan?"
"Nothing incriminating." Razzle replied, scared out of her wits despite her calm demeanour.
"Good." Snake Oil replied as the Unicorn was just at the door.
Suddenly Razzle's knees buckled and she felt a sharp pain in her head, she stumbled to door, only to feel a hard whack against her head, realising this sensation was the source of her pain. Her throbbing head was even more in pain, and her vision was growing dark, her body sagging as she struggled to keep walking.
Snake Oil slammed the curved end of his cane against Razzle's head, finally rendering her unconscious and prone on the ground. He gazed down at the Unicorn's prone body in contempt.
Author's Note
Hey peoples!
I hope Ya'll are enjoying this story!
I really, REALLY hope the story isn't getting too dark here. That can't be helped with the subject I am sure you we are dealing with here.
Not much I can say without spoiling too much, though I should mention that Snake Oil has a cutie mark that looks like black, oily snake shaped like a dollar sign.
Also, most wizards and wizards-in-training, like Razzle Dazzle, wear brownish-grew cloaks and grey vests, the knights predominantly wear a silvery armour when on duty and most ponies in high positions (like the Union senators, for example) wear fairly stylish clothes. The common citizens are free to wear clothes or not as they see fit. Horseshoes and most Pegasi do not wear clothes.
I hope you all enjoyed it, and please comment! I am starved for proper feedback!
Horseshoes grinned mindlessly as she waited outside Snake Oil's caravan. He had come to her and told he needed her to do something for him. She was eager to do whatever he asked.
She frowned at that, halting in her tracks...something...something about that thought didn't feel right...Razzle was right, why DID she trust Snake Oile so much, especially since she was so sceptical before? Tears formed in her eyes as she remembered attacking Razzle...why? She would never do that, not to Razzle Dazzle, her best friend. She remembered being so angry because Razz took the stuff away from her, but...why? She wouldn't hurt her friend over something so petty and trivial...
She gasped and clutched at her head as she felt a horrible, stinging pain in her head. She unconsciously took a swig of her last bottle, the mare smiling as the headache dissipated. Her worries vanishing as she forgot what she was even thinking about.
She looked up as the caravan door opened and Snake Oil marched out on his hind legs, his forelegs holding up Razzle Dazzle.
"Professor, why is Razz in your arms? And why is she unconscious?"
Snake Oil smirked. "Ah, she's a friend of yours is she? Well, she did a very bad thing, so I had make sure she wouldn't run away."
"Why would she run away?"
"She saw something she shouldn't have, and so now I have to get rid of her."
Horseshoes blinked as she thought that sentence through. "W-What do you mean?"
"I am ordering you to kill her of course." He said blunty, matter-of-factly, frowning in annoyance and disapproval. "I had considered tying her up and keeping her hostage, but there are too many risks involved in that. Better we just kill her and leave no evidence."
Horseshoes gasped. "K-Kill her!? B-but why would you...!? Why does she...!? You don't need to KILL her!"
He glared, tilting his head. "Is that...defiance? Are you...questioning my authority?"
She whimpered and looked away. "N-no sir but...she's...she's my best friend..."
"She was going to cause me to lose the cure all, and make sure you won't get any, or anyone else for that matter. And that WILL happen unless you kill her!"
She stared, sweating heavily. "N-no...she wouldn't...I-I NEED the stuff...B-but...She's...She's my..."
He leaned in close to her, glaring into her eyes. "She will make you go cold turkey, make sure you never can have any more cure all!"
She shivered and shook; her lips dry. "M-maybe...maybe I had enough...maybe I drank enough to ensure I get in the knights..."
Music that sounded eerily similar to the beat of Snake Oil's previous song began to play, but its tone was lower, darker, imposing rather upbeat and jaunty.
"Had enough? Had Enough?" Snake Oil snapped incredulously.
Horseshoes' nodded, looking away guiltily. "Yeah, I don't need anymore..."
Snake Oil shook his head and began to trot around her, giving her no space to herself as he leaned his head in close to her and sang.
"Girl, you do not know what you are sayin'
You think you can just up and quit,
But let me tell you something!
You crave that magic liquid
You crave it!
You cannot live without it!"
"I-I can so!" Horseshoes said defiantly.
"Prove it!" Snake Oil challenged.
He set down a glass of cure all in front of her.
"Now, try walking away
You can take your friend
Go home
And never, ever see me
again."
She gulped, sweating, lip quivering, staring down at the glass.
"However, there is a price
For only I can provide you with this
elixir
That you sooooo desire!
Never again can you
taste the sweet flavour!
The rich aroma!
Oh," He grinned wickedly, "And you can say goodbye
To
Your
Dream"
"No!" She hurriedly grabbed the glass and downed its contents in one gulp.
"You see!" Snake Oil laughed. "You cannot just say no!
You are addicted to this potion!
You want it!
You need it!
You can't live without it!
So you better shut your mouth
And do as I say!"
"NO!" Horseshoes fell to her knees, tears falling down her cheeks, clutching her hea din her hooves.
"Why can't I just say no!?
Why do I feel I need to obey you!?
Why do I want this stuff!?
Why do I need this stuff!?
Tell
Meeee
Whyyyy!"
Snake Oil chuckled. "It's too late for you
If I told you the truth,
There is not a thing
that can be done
You were
damned
the moment
You took a sip!
You are mine!
And you will obey my will!
You and every pony
you convinced to drink my swill!" He grinned maliciously.
"NO!" Horseshoes stared at him, eyes wide in horror.
"What have I done!?
What did you do to me!?
What did you do them!?"
Snake Oil circled around her like a shark, grinning toothily and venomously, his eyes narrowed coldly.
"Foolish little girl!
You cannot do a thing!
You want it!
You need it!
You crave it!
My patented magical cure all
Is your addiction!
Your damnation!
You are a slave to my word
A slave to the product
You will do anything for more!
Even kill your best friend!"
"NO please! Anything but that!"
"Then no more of that potion for you!" He sneered, turning away from her.
"No!" Horseshoes fell on her knees, her forehooves raised pleadingly as she cried. "Don't cut me off!"
"Will you obey?" He said softly, turning to her.
"..."
"WILL YOU OBEY!?" He snarled, pressing closer to her
"..."
"WILL
YOU
OOOOOBEEEEEEEYYYYY!?" He shouted, face inches from the mare's.
Horseshoes' head sunk, tears falling as she nodded.
"Yes, I will
I want it
I need it
I'll do anything for it
Even..." She stared up at him, tears gushing down her cheeks in a thick rivulet, her body shaking, and her voice hoarse.
"E-Even help you
Get rid of my best friend..."
"That's good!" Snake Oil grinned triumphantly, eye gazing mockingly at the mare.
"You want it,
Need it
You can'tdo a thing about it!
You can't live without it!
You are hopeless to deny it!
You were a fool to try it!"
"I was a fool buy it..." Horseshoes echoed softly, head hung low.
"You are enslaved to it!
Now, Obey me!
Kill her!
Kill this pony right here!
Kill!
Your friend!
RAZZLE DAZZZLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!"
At this last part he stood high, his forelegs raised high into the air. As he finished he looked down at Horsehoes and pointed to the tied up and unconscious unicorn behind him. "Pick her up."
He grinned as Horseshoes got up, walked towards Razzle Dazzle and picked her up. He started walking and she followed him, her eyes and head low.
"Why...?"
"Why can't you defy me? Or why do you want the cure all so badly?" The conman chuckled darkly. "The answer lies in the cure all."
"What's in the stuff anyway?" Horseshoes asked despairingly.
"It's not important."
They walked towards the Border Edge of the city, beyond an expanse of farmland. It was a large cliff that surrounded the far eastern edge of the city, the western edge blocked by a tall, steep, rocky mountain and a vast, dense forest where numerous monsters and dangerous animals resided. The two ponies looked over the edge of the cliff, looking down a steep drop into rock and mountain.
"This'll do. I was gonna have you drown her, but then the body would remain." Snake Oil smirked. "Drop her."
Horseshoes stared at him, her body shakingly moving towards the cliff, Razzle held aloft in her forelegs. She shook and shivered, trying to fight against her body, her addiction and her urge to obey.
"Try all you want." Snake Oil smirked. "You cannot fight against my orders, nor my 'cure all'."
Her eyes widened as she neared the edge. 'No...I have to stop!'
Tears fell as her body continued to slowly walk.
"Hurry up and drop her down the cliff!" Snake Oil barked impatiently.
Horseshoes gasped as her body picked up speed. 'No! Stop! Please! Stop it!'
She froze in place. No, that wasn't right. Her legs were still moving, but she couldn't move forward no matter how hard she tried.
"WHAT!?" Snake Oil shouted angrily, eyes wide in disbelief.
Razzle Dazzle was breathing heavily, eyes open and conscious, her horn glowing as she used all of her magical power to hold Horseshoes back from the cliff.
"Razz!" Horseshoes cried out happily.
"Horseshoes!" Razzle cried back, struggling in her bonds.
Horseshoes grunted and with all her mental might fought against Snake Oil's command and threw Razzle Dazzle at the conman, but he had already left while they were distracted. The Unicorn tumbled harmlessly along the ground. She was a little hurt, but she was alive. Horseshoes collapsed, sobbing tearfully.
"I'm sorry Razzle! I should've...I WOULD have listened to you...but...the...the addiction..."
Razzle used her advanced levitation spell, the telekinesis spell, to remove her bonds as she got up and stepped towards her friend. "It's ok...You fought back..."
"That took all I had!" Horseshoes got up shakingly. "I...I have to go back...I...I need it...I NEED that cure all..."
"But you know its bad! That HE'S bad! Surely you know that!"
"I DO!" Horseshoes yelled as she started to walk back to the city. "But...Just because I KNOW doesn't mean I canjust quit just like that..." She stared at her friend despairingly, tears streaming. "Razz...H-Help me..."
Razzle Dazzle walked toward her friend, horn glowing as she held the Earth Pony in place. She concentrated and cast a sleep spell on Horseshoes, who immediately fell asleep.
Razzle shook in anger. "Damn that Snake Oil...Because of him, I was forced to use one of THAT person's spells...Damn him for doing this to her..." She sighed, pulling her friend onto her back and running towards the city.
She had to stop Snake Oil from destroying the city.
Green Acres listened intently to the Pegasus, his Commander standing beside him.
"Why didn't you tell us this earlier?" Minty Breath asked of Lickety Split, her gaze stern and disapproving,her voice steely.
The Pegasus looked down sheepishly as Green Acres held up a hoof. "I know why. He wanted to protect Horseshoes. He and Miss Razzle Dazzle thought they were helping her by deciding to take care of it themselves. I'm glad that Razzle reconsidered that notion. Did you really think all it would take is one misdeed for Sis to lose her enrolment?"
Lickety Split looked away shamefully and the two knights shook their heads.
"Anyway, no use discussing 'should haves' and misconceptions." Minty Breath stated. "Let's head to the square and check out this 'Professor'."
Lickety looked at them. "Do you know who he is?"
"We don't know a 'Professor Zebediah J. Snake Oil III'," Green Acres admitted, "But we do know a Snake Oil Slick."
"Snake Oil Slick?"
"A former knight, he was stripped of his rank and dishonourably discharged after he was caught accepting a bribe, forging evidence and embezzling taxes." Minty Breath said disdainfully. "He was a wretched scumbag."
The three began walking (hovering in Lickety's case) out the door and down the hall. "Surely he would have known you would recognise his name, even if he did change it, his last name would've been a big tip off?"
"It is, but Slick admittedly enjoyed getting attention and showing off." Green Acres said. "Besides, that's why he made sure to strike when the other knights weren't on patrol: during the preparations of the festival. Everyone else was posted near the perimeter, he likely would have used a different alias to get past the front gate. Afterwards he used proxies to spread his 'cure all' around, fleecing people dry with his bogus potion. He even made sure to only sell it to normal citizens."
"What I don't get," Minty Breath added, "is why no one else reported him. Or why so many people were willing to buy his elixir. Surely not everyone would've have bought his scam, but by your account he has nearly the whole citizenry hooked."
"I guess we'll have to ask him." Green Acres said, his gaze stern and hard. They walked to the front doors of the Knights' Headquarters when one of the lower ranking knights dashed towards them.
"Sirs!" The knight called out, giving a quick salute, panting heavily as if he had run a mile.
"What is it, corporal?" Minty Breath asked.
"The citizens are causing a riot!" The knight answered. "They're wrecking homes, attacking each other and everyone else, demanding we give them...something, I'm not sure what. They're tearing down everything!"
The two commanding officers shared a glance and Lickety Split frowned. "That con artist must be behind this."
"Agreed." Minty Breath said. "But why? What's the point of causing a riot? And how did he do it?"
"Lickety Split, you get anyone who isn't rioting out of harm's way and help anyone who needs it along the way." Green Acres ordered and Lickety nodded and flew off. "Commander, I have a feeling they're going to be attacking the towers, so be sure to offer the wizards some assistance if they require it."
Minty smirked, not questioning or challenging the fact that he just ordered her, his superior. "You will stay here and protect the Headquarters?"
"No. The Senate is under protected right now, and I can't risk any of the higher-ups getting in danger due to our negligence."
She smiled. "Good thinking."
They strode towards the entrance doors as they were smashed open and an army of crazed addicts poured in, screaming in anger and those that were able to were brandishing weapons. The two commanding knights got into fighting stance and readied their weapons for non-lethal combat.
Razzle stared at the chaos. She was not expecting such a massive riot. She had no how Snake Oil had managed to cause this, and she didn't care. The monter had to pay. She made sure Horseshoes was still secure on her back and she ran towards the Senate.
As she ran, she noticed the rioters were thinning, and she realised that none of them were attacking the senate. She rushed, wondering what Snake Oil was plotting with their centre of power and politics.
She ran into the building, growing more confused. There was no sign of him anywhere. She searched high and low, and even gave the senators a scare when she searched the main conference room.
"What is a wizard student doing here!?" A unicorn senator demanding.
Razzle flinched. "I-I thought that a dangerous criminal was here..."
"We know about the rioting." Another, calmer Earth Pony senator replied. "You think the one responsible was going to be here?"
"Y-yes I did...I was wrong?"
"Perhaps...why would he be here?"
Razzle looked away. "I-I had managed to sneak into his...his hideaway...I...I found his plans...it didn't have a lot of details...jut showed he was going to make everyone attack the senate...I figured if this was his goal...then he would be here..."
The other unicorn senator considered this. "Then where could he have gone?"
Snake Oil smirked to himself. The central wizarding tower was a large building that the other towers surrounded and was where the highest ranking wizards and scholar hid away, along with their central library and...the treasury. Only the Master Merlin, The Union Senate and the Knights knew about the treasury. It was the safest place to keep anything the Kingdom wanted hidden, hidden.
Of course, ordinarily it was impenetrable, but if one knew where to look, there were certain backdoors so that anyone could come and go as they please, without drawing attention.
Perfect for his needs.
Snake Oil walked silently down the halls leading to the treasury, smirking as he found his prize. Hanging on the left-hand wall of the treasure was a large, black scythe. He slowly reached for it...
"So, a thief decides to take advantage of a sea of chaos to sneak into the night and steal an accursed treasure."
Snake Oil blinked and turned, seeing the most powerful and influential wizard in the Kingdom, The Master Merlin himself, Hocus Pocus.
The elder Unicorn stood at the open entrance into the treasury, his long black mane and beard thick and luxurious, his pale blue coat hidden under his long white robes, the symbol of his status as the Master Merlin. His light yellow eyes narrowed at the sight of Snake Oil skulking about like a common thief in the night, and the elder pony walked slowly towards the con-artist.
"How did you get in here? How did you even know to come here?" His gaze was cold and steely. "Tell me, how many of my fellow ponies have you hurt today? Well!? You reek of one who harmed my little ponies, so don't try to lie to me!"
Snake Oil stared, then slowly smirked toothily. "Well, I guess I should've expected you to show up sooner or later, old man. You don't remember me, but I remember you. How could I forget? The most important man in all of the Kingdom, the Master Merlin himself. I met you many times, whenever I was sent to patrol this place and count the itinerary."
Hocus Pocus glared. "Ah, I recognise you now. You were that former knight who was caught stealing from the treasury, lining your pockets with tax payer money as well as making an assortment of deals and accepting bribes from the criminal element." He snarled. "Of course I remember you."
"And I you." Snake Oil chuckled, spinning his cane. "After all, you were the one who had me banished from the Kingdom, forcing me to wander a wretched lifeless wasteland...or at least, that was your plan."
"So there ARE other lands inhabited besides our own." Hocus Pocus breathed in disbelief and shock, staring wide eyed.
Snake Oil frowned. "Senile old geezer, getting distracted." Snake Oil suddenly dashed swung his cane upon the unicorn, which made Hocus Pocus fall to his knees, eyes wide. His horn began to glow, and Snake Oil responded by stamping a hoof on the old stallion's face, rushing back to grab the scythe from the wall and thenhe began to run away as fast as he could. He knew that attack would only be enough to distract and disorient, and the old man wouldn't allow himself to be caught off-guard again.
Snake Oil grinned. At least he got what he came for; now all he had to do was make a clean getaway to his caravan.
Razzle Dazzle ran out into the rioting crowds, searching desperately for Snake Oil. As she exited the senate, she saw Green Acre fighting the rioters, using the staff-handle of his halberd to knock anyone away without hurting them. From the way he was sweating and breathing heavily, as well as the many bruises covering his body, he had been fighting for quite a while.
"Lieutenant!"
He turned to her, panting heavily. "Miss Dazzle, I am glad to see you are alright." He grunted as a rioter kicked him and he kicked them back, pushing them back. "Damn, there is so many, and they're stronger and more resilient than normal."
"It's Snake Oil's cure-all, I am positive." Razzle Dazzle used her telekinesis to push the rioters back, and used her magic to toss rocks to scare them off, trying her best to not harm anyone even as the ponies tried to push forward and ignored the rocks hitting them. "I think there's something in the cure-all, something addictive...something that makes them want it so bad, they would do anything for it."
"It's called Witchweed, my friends, a very potent 'poison', though rather than kill, it makes one stronger, resistant to damage, and all at the cost of their free will and sanity." Snake Oil chuckled as he walked in from behind.
"Slick!" Green Acres roared angrily, spinning his halberd to knock his attackers at bay. The rioters continued to attack the knight and the unicorn, who were forced to fight back, but none of the maddened ponies even spared a glance at the con-man.
Snake Oil smirked. "Ah, Green Acres. When I was a knight, you were a simple corporal, now you're second-in-command. Well done." Snake Oil looked around, smiling contentedly. "It really is quite something, isn't? What a little weed can do to a whole Kingdom when used right. A little charm enchantment to make people more willing to listen to me and trust me, an addictive potion that makes them want to buy more and more, and, oh yes, a dash of my own blood to ensure they are obedient to me and me alone." He waved a hoof in front of a rioter's face, making her freeze just as she was about to charge forward and bite Razzle Dazzle's hair. "See, the poison won't let them attack me. And why should it? Supply and demand. They demand more Witchweed, more 'Cure-All', and I supply it. Even have a trusted member of the community spread the word, so that any stragglers will get reeled in."
"Horseshoes." Razzle breathed, her eyes narrowing angrily. "You sick monster! You hurt Horseshoes, made her, nay, the whole CITY into your slaves! And you did it all for money!?"
Snake Oil chuckled darkly. "Why yes, I was paid quite handsomely for this little...revolt. The money I earned through selling the Witchweed was a little bonus."
Green Acres snarled angrily, eyes widening in shock at the same time. "Someone PAID you to do this!?"
"OH yes," Snake Oil nodded, "QUITE handsomely. Half to enact the plan, the other half I'll receive once I go back and give him this." He pointed to the scythe hanging on his back.
Green Acres paled, eyes widening in realization. "Wait...how did you get past the other wizards, and the commander?"
Snake Oil gave him a withering look. "Just because I'm businessman, doesn't mean I can't fight. Remember, former knight here."
Razzle Dazzle snarled and leapt at him, horn glowing. Snake Oil dashed to the side with a showy flourish, tripping the unicorn with his cane, grabbing her horn in the crook and twisting her down onto the ground. Green Acres charged, swinging his halberd, however it was sliced in half as Snake Oil pulled the long end of his cane off, revealing a long, narrow sword.
Snake Oil spun his sword around as the Lieutenant charged, thrusting the long spike on the end of his halberd towards the con-man, who parried with his sword, pushing the halberd back, dashing past and slashing across the stallion's torso, causing Green Acres to collapse in pain.
Snake Oil smirked and walked off, but not before reaching into his vest and throwing several bottles of Cure-All, Witchweed Poison, at the two beaten ponies, the rioters freezing in spot, staring as some bottles shattered and spilt the contents onto the knight and the unicorn. As the rioters closed in Snake Oil turned and fled, chuckling and smirking to himself as the addicted ponies began to mutter softly, looking as if possessed or mad.
"Cure-All."
"Want it, need it."
"Cure-All."
"Give it to me."
"Need it."
"Thirsty."
"Need."
They surrounded the two of the them, growing more desperate with their attacks than before. Razzle groggily got up, her horn glowing as several rioter's fell asleep. She turned to Green Acres as more addicted ponies marched over, groaning and mumbling tonelessly like zombies.
"Lieutenant! There are too many for me to put asleep all at once and its difficult enough for me to perform this spell at all! Go after Snake Oil, stop him before he escapes! I don't want that man running free, not after what he did to Horseshoes, to everyone!"
Green Acres nodded, getting up on his hind legs, charging past the rioters, pushing them back as he dual wielded the broken halves of his halberd, gazing at the running form of Snake Oil as the swindler ran into his caravan and stared fearfully at the charging stallion.
Snake Oil's fear morphed into anger. "Why can't any of you people just give up like normal saps!?" He gripped the wheel of his caravan and the engine hummed as he drove off, grinning in triumph. He gasped as he looked back and saw a black Pegasus dropping bombs at him, and Snake Oil barely managed to dodge and weave past the onslaught as several knights approached from the sides, firing arrows at him. Snake Oil snarled, reaching down and throwing explosive bottles of liquid at his pursuers as he tried to drive at the same time.
Green Acres jumped onto the front of the caravan, bashing the axe-end of his halberd at Snake Oil, who countered and parried using his sword, both stallions snarling with rage at each other.
"You hurt my sis!" Green Acres raged. "I will make sure you rot in prison for the rest of your life, Slick!"
"To the Dark with you, Acres!"
Lickety Split managed to strike one of the caravan's wheel with a bomb, causing the two stallions to lose balance for a few seconds and the caravan fell, its momentum causing it to crash and roll along the ground, heading towards the cliff. Green Acres quickly grabbed Snake Oil and pulled him out as the caravan crashed, upside down, a few feet away from the Cliffside. Green Acres got up as several knights ran to his side and pointed their weapons at Snake Oil.
"You're under arrest." A bruised, battered and tired Lieutenant Green Acres spat coldly.
Snake Oil Slick was marched into the high security prison, at the far end of the city, the closest building to the point where the Cliffside and forestside meet. He glared balefully at the knights who flanked him on each side, ensuring he wouldn't escape, his forelegs tied behind his back to ensure he wouldn't try anything else.
He continued to glare as he was pushed into a prison cell, his clothes in tatters from his fight with the Lieutenant, all that was intact was his top hat.
They locked the cell, locking him in with a few other prisoners, and he just kept glaring.
As soon as they turned away, he smirked.
The medical wizards were working around the clock; casting detox spells to force the narcotics out of the townspeople's systems, the work slow due to the sheer number of victims. There were even talks in the senate about cancelling the festival, but Hocus Pocus had demanded they keep ahead, arguing that it was a crisis like this that the people needed the festival to help take their minds off their problems and simply have a day of fun and relaxation.
Razzle Dazzle and Green Acres stood by Horseshoes' side as one of the wizard's began work on detoxifying her.
"I'm so sorry..." The brown-coated mare croaked, tears falling. "I messed up so bad...worse than I usually do..."
"It wasn't your fault." Green Acres reassured her. "You and everyone else had fallen under Snake Oil's charm enchantment. We're...still trying to figure out how he managed to use magic like that, considering he's an earth Pony..."
"So what? I was still susceptible, weak enough to fall under its influence. And I hurt so many people..."
Razzle Dazzle gazed down at her friend. "You weren't the only one he was using. All that matters is that it's over now, and you can rest." She turned to Green Acres. "Any leads on who hired Snake Oil to do all this?"
"No, but we're looking into it." Green Acres answered. "Whoever they are, they seem to be interested in the scythe that black...creature held."
"We still have that thing!?" Horseshoes snouted in shock.
"The Master Merlin is investigating it, so that we can find out more about this 'Devourer' and if there are others like it." Green Acres gave Horseshoes a stern glare. "Now, just relax, it'll make it easier for the medics to heal you."
"What about Lickety? Didn't he build a healing machine?"
Razzle Dazzle shook her head. "Groger destroyed the only one, and Mr Split is still working on manufacturing a new one." She looked down. "This is the best we can do..."
Horseshoes grumbled, slumping back. "Great. I'll be here for so long healing I'll miss all my training AND the festival."
Green Acres chuckled. "Don't worry, you won't miss the festival, AND we'll work on the mental portions of your training in the meantime."
"Awww man!"
Green Acres laughed and Razzle tried to hide a snide smirk.
All was normal again.
Author's Note
Howdy peeps! Hope you enjoyed it!
Ok, so, there a lot of differences here to what I had planned. Originally, Snake Oil's goal WAS to sneak into the Senate, but as I thought about it, I figured Snake Oil would be smarter than to just have his plans lying out in the open. Or at least have a backup plan in case things went awry. I also came to the conclusion the Scythe would be placed in someplace lightly more secure and confidential than the Senate building, hence the creation of the Central Wizard Tower.
Snake Oil himself has always been envisioned as an Evil Counterpart to of all characters the Flim Flam Brothers of FiM. Basically, the Flim Flams were con-artists, but not particularly smart or devious and not even that evil. Sure they wanted to drive the Apples out of business, but other than that they sold what they had promised (it was their own panic that caused them to sell a bad batch). However, I wanted our villain here to show how dangerous a con-man can be under the right circumstances. He's basically supposed to be like the character the Flim Flam Brothers are often compared to; Lyle Langely(think that's his name at least), a vile sociopath who willingly and knowingly created a deathtrap for the sole purpose of making money, and did so while selling people something nobody needed.
I also wanted this episode to better show the closeness between Horseshoes and Razzle, as well as show that the knights (especially Green Acres, who also got a bit of development here unintentionally) are capable at fighting threats that aren't extremely super-powered.
I hope you all enjoyed it, and please comment! (Boy, that was a long Author Note, wasn't?)
