One Last Job

by ZeroMonkey

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Adventure
Length: 4349

Twilight Sparkle is getting her old team together for one last job: a heist of the Royal Bank of Canterlot. When things go awry, her team is scattered across the world. Now she has to recover the artifacts they stole before the world ends.

It should have been simple. Twilight Sparkle and her team would pull off one last heist and use the profit to live comfortably outside of Equestria for the rest of their lives. It went wrong. Of course it went wrong. Twilight should have done more research into the artifacts. She should have known.

The job went wrong. Her team scattered across the world and went into hiding... with the artifacts.

Now Twilight has to track down her team and recover the stolen goods before the world ends, all with an annoying royal guard breathing down her neck.

Cover art by Mr Tech

Published 2018-12-09 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-13 04:48:01 UTC

Prologue: A Phone Call

[UNKNOWN LOCATION]

The phone had been ringing for a while now. Maybe nopony would answer. Unlikely. This pony was reliable. That much had been demonstrated many times in the past, more than enough to establish a trend. She would pick up.

Abruptly, the ringing stopped.

"Who are you and how did you get this number?" a mare's voice demanded angrily.

She had a country accent, although it was diminished. Likely a result of seven years spent hiding in Manehattan.

The mare continued, "The only one who should have this number is..."

Twilight Sparkle chose this moment to interrupt, "Me."

"Twilight! er, ah mean, Magic. Why are you calling me? Is my cover blown?"

"No, nothing of the sort," the other mare audibly sighed at this, "I'm getting the girls back together, Honesty."

It had been difficult for her to decide on the codenames. She relied on the purely logical nature of her thoughts and the predictability of other ponies to get through life. Creativity wasn't her strong suit. She had decided on a set of six artifacts from a fairytale, the Elements of Harmony, that she had heard as a child. To her slight distaste, it stuck.

"What for? We're already some of the most wanted mares in Equestria, what will one more heist accomplish?"

As expected, Honesty doubted the plan. Of course, Twilight knew her well and could change her mind with a few simple words.

"This is no small job. It's the biggest we've ever taken. We'll make enough money to live comfortably for the rest of our lives, in any place of our choosing. It'll be enough to help Applebloom."

Honesty hesitated, "Are you sure about that?" she paused, "Don't answer that. I know you wouldn't call me if you weren't. Alright, what's the mark?"

Twilight allowed herself a smile, "The Royal Bank of Canterlot. I've found a way into one of the Princess' private vaults. I've already sent Loyalty to pick you up."

"You'd better have a real good plan if we're going to rob the Princess. I'll see you soon, Magic."

Twilight let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding. She'd done this before. She could do it again. Her mind was as sharp as it always had been, she hoped.

Chapter One

[ROYAL CANTERLOT BANK]
[SUB-BASEMENT 5]

As Twilight and three other mares clad in black jumpsuits and masks stealthily slipped from the crystal caves under the city and into the lower levels of the bank, they caught sight of a lone guard standing in front of an intricate vault door. The magic runes inscribed on the door were visibly overflowing with magical power. Quickly, Twilight weaved a complex array of magic around her horn and sent out an invisible wave of energy.

No additional magic defenses or lifeforms on this floor. Good. Drawing more energy from the area around her, she built another spell. Before the guard could even notice what was happening, he was out cold.

The caves. They had been perfect for a secret infiltration. However, there was no way they could be used in the event that the heist went wrong. The paths were too labyrinthine, the terrain too rough. A teleportation spell would do the job. She was ready for that eventuality.

"Generosity, Honesty, keep watch while I open the vault. Kindness, you may check for injuries."

The magic seal on the door was complex, but not perfect. The Princess may have been a goddess, but neither was she. If only it had been as simple as any other magic lock. Her magic would have scoured it, seeping into the metaphorical cracks and effectively forming a key. This was different. The door contained special runes meant to rebuff and drain attackers. Of course, she still had to get through the door. She was certain she could weather the defenses.

She gave the door another quick scan for safety's sake and then began her spellcraft. As magic flowed from her horn and across the door, the defensive runes, as predicted, began to steal energy from her spell. An aetherial wind began to stir the stale underground air. The magic leaving the runes was pulling air along with it. This quickly evolved from the usual light breeze into a full blown gale that threatened to send Twilight tumbling.

Twilight lost more and more footing as the energy required to keep the spell running left her winded. Just when she was about to give in to the gusts of wind, a warm body pressed itself against her and she felt a wing wrap around her back.

Excess care for others, not on watch for guards, wings. Logically speaking, it was Kindness.

Just a little bit longer, a little bit further. There. She had it. With a click, the locks came undone.

"The door's open," Twilight sputtered, leaning heavily on Kindness. The air was a few degrees colder, as a result of the large quantity of magic she had channeled.

"Are you okay, Magic? We can rest for a moment if need be," Kindness asked in a quiet voice. Her concern was visible even through her bejeweled mask.

The masks, necessary as they were, never got any more comfortable. They were, at Generosity's insistence, decorated in line with the theme of the code names. That meant jewels. Colored jewels. Between the masks and intercepted communications, the public had caught on to their naming convention and quickly took up calling them 'The Elements of Harmony'.

Funnily enough, Princess Celestia had publicly protested this name. Something about a lack of respect for important historical artifacts. Twilight was just glad to get on that old nag's nerves.

Honesty piped up too, "If you're tuckered out, just say so. We can't do this if you collapse of exhaustion."

"No, I'm fine. The Princess just happens to be somewhat of a master when it comes to spellcraft. It took a lot out of me, but there aren't any more wards in there. Go on in. Generosity, keep your eyes out for especially valuable items."

Honesty moved forward and nudged the door open. Inside was room crammed with dauntingly high shelves, each overflowing with jewelry and gold. While the other mares began moving along the shelves, searching out the most valuable items and filling their bags, Twilight went forward, eyes scanning the room for the real prize. There. There it was. Princess Celestia's legendary blade, its name lost to history, hung on the wall at the far end of the room.

Twilight had had a hunch that the sword would be here. The last time it was even supposedly used was in the battle against the, presumably fictional, tyrant, Nightmare Moon. The shelves came to an end about ten feet from the sword, in what seemed to be some kind of altar. Carefully making her way up a couple steps, she stepped over what seemed to be discarded pieces of golden armor as she went. She paid them little mind.

In the back of her mind, she duly noted a conversation between Honesty and Generosity. Something to do with large gemstones? Unimportant. She knew that the both of them could handle it. Whatever it was.

The sword was a sight to behold with its intricate carvings and gilded decorum. A single crack ran along the length of its blade, from which leaked small gouts of flame and sparks. As she looked at it, it almost seemed to stare back at her, peering into her soul with no small amount of fury. Hanging on the wall next to it was an equally detailed sheath. Twilight let herself smile. Once she had sold this sword to the highest bidder, likely a foreign power with a grudge against Equestria, neither she nor her team would want for anything, ever again.

She slowly lifted the sheath from its resting place using her magic and cautiously slid it onto the sword. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. The uncanny presence of the blade no longer pressed upon her mind. It would be best not to dally. Many sources agreed that Princess Celestia had some kind of link to the sword. If she didn't know it was missing, she would soon. Twilight buckled the sheath to her waist and headed back towards the entrance.

"Alright girls, finish up in here and follow me. We probably don't have much time before the royal guard comes crashing down on our heads."

As Honesty made her way back over to Twilight, she posed a question, "Magic, is that sword what I think it is?"

Twilight gave her a curt nod.

"Are you sure it's wise to be taking Celestia's own sword? I reckon that might get her a mite riled up?"

Twilight looked back at her, "I know what I'm doing, Honesty. Trust me."

Honesty dropped the subject and they made their way out of the vault and back to the entrance of the caves. Not that they would be exiting through the caves, but it was always good to leave a fake trail for pursuers to follow.

Just then, one of the sending stones inside her mask buzzed to life.

It was Laughter. Despite her odd personality quirks and the fact that she always seemed to be on a sugar high, Laughter made for a great lookout. She was personable enough to get on nearly anypony's good side in a few minutes and had an almost supernatural ability for seeing future dangers and finding ways around them.

"I've got some bad news, girls. I was chatting with one of the guards in front of the bank, his name is Flash Sentry and he actually just recently joined the... Oh wait no! The more important news first. I can see Princess Celestia flying straight towards us. Like, really fast too! You girls had better get out of there, sooner rather than later," Laughter then returned to talking about the guard she had met.

Tuning out Laughter, Twilight's mind began to process the information. As predicted, the Princess was coming and was likely very angry. That was not something Twilight wanted to deal with.

Unfortunately for any escape plans, they were currently several hundred feet below the surface. Of course, Twilight didn't deal in fortune. Charging up her horn, there was a flash of light and they appeared in an alleyway a few blocks from the bank. She would've liked to be further away, but this was effectively the limit of her abilities. Better this than appear one more block away, but in broad daylight.

"Scatter everypony, then make yourself scarce. I'll see you at the meeting place."

Each of the mares ran in a different direction. They would minimize the chance of the whole team getting caught by each going to a different location to remove their disguises before meeting up again. Although splitting up reduced their combat ability, any direct conflict with the guard would end in certain defeat regardless.

While Honesty and Generosity went out the back end of the alley, Twilight and Kindness ran out the front. Kindness took to the air as Twilight veered away from the bank.

Twilight ran down the street, bobbing and weaving through shocked crowds of ponies. What was that? She could hear that a pegasus was approaching her from behind. Kindness? It couldn't be. The sound of beating wings was far too loud. Oh. This was bad.

Without looking behind her, Twilight came to the conclusion that Celestia was chasing her. She should've guessed. After all, she had taken the Princess' ancient sword. Potentially a beloved treasure or keepsake. This wouldn't do at all.

Before Twilight could finish her train of thought, she was tackled to the ground.

"Relinquish my sword and I might just let you live," Princess Celestia's voice was cool and even with an undercurrent of fury.

The Princess may have been larger and more powerful by far, but Twilight still had her wits about her. For example, Celestia had done nothing to disable the unicorn's horn. With a bright flash of light, Twilight was somewhere else entirely. Rather, she was a few feet away from the Princess, just inside the mouth of an alley and hopefully hidden. She wanted Celestia to think she was somewhere else.

She found herself resenting the fact she could only maintain the ability to blindly teleport to a single place at a time. Anywhere else would require line of sight.

Slowly moving backwards through the alley, Twilight made sure not to make a noise. With no sign of the Princess, she quickly took cover behind a dumpster and began preparing a spell. It would be an illusion spell, to disguise her presence from sight and magical attempts at detection. Hopefully, she would be able to sneak away before Celestia caught on.

She slipped out from behind the dumpster and moved towards the opposite end.

"Not so fast," she turned to see Celestia staring her down from the entrance.

Knowing that this was the end of her life as a free mare, Twilight stepped forward to stare down Celestia. As she did, she drew the sword and brandished it at the Princess.

"It seems you have me cornered, but before you do anything rash, consider the fact that I have a magic sword that has been known to cleave through mountains. It would be unwise to do anything except let me go."

Celestia's face seemed to fill with sorrow at the sight of the weapon being drawn. Maybe painful memories would stop her from calling Twilight's bluff. Her plans always explicitly excluded hurting anypony and Princess Celestia was no exception.

"Consider the fact," said Princess Celestia, "That I am a goddess."

Celestia's horn lit with golden magic and within seconds, Twilight felt all of the ambient magic drain away. The sword fell from her grip and its blade sunk into the cobblestones as if they were butter.

A cage made of golden fire erected itself around Twilight. Princess Celestia's horn still glowed with energy. It was a brute force way to disable unicorn magic. Virtually impossible. Twilight supposed that this was the end of the line. Hopefully her team had escaped successfully.

Chapter Two

[CANTERLOT PALACE]
[DUNGEON]
The dungeons under the palace didn't see much use. Twilight had received the closest cell to the stairs. Yet, somehow, despite the obvious proximity to one of the world's finest kitchens, all they served her was gruel. At least it wasn't quesadillas.

Suffice it to say, Twilight Sparkle was not in a good mood. She had been caught by the authorities for the first time since she had began her criminal career and to make things that much worse, she had been apprehended by that old nag of a goddess, Celestia.

By now, her face would be all over the papers. The notorious leader of the Elements of Harmony, finally brought to justice. She imagined that her family would be disappointed, if they weren't dead. A tear came unbidden to her eye, but she blinked it away before more could follow.

They had tried to question her a few times now, but she knew better than to give up her team's identities. It wasn't like they could legally do anything more than ask nicely, anyways. Luckily enough, Celestia's magic draining stunt had ruined the enchantment on the sending stones in her mask, so there was no chance of her allies being tracked that way.

It seemed she had a new visitor. She listened carefully to the approaching hoofsteps. They were louder than any regular pony could create and carried the telltale sounds of metal shoes. It was her. The Princess.

"What do you want, your highness?" Twilight said with no small amount of venom at the moment Celestia reached the bottom of the stairs.

"First of all, I would like to apologize for how I acted earlier, my little po-"

"I am not 'your little pony'!" Twilight snapped, surprising both Celestia and, to a lesser degree, herself. She knew she was behaving irrationally, but she couldn't help it.

"Alright, Miss Sparkle, as you wish. As I was saying, the sight of that sword dredged up some old memories and I lost control of myself. If I had been in my right mind, I likely would have taken actions less likely to result in your injury. Despite your... career, I wish no ill upon you. Now, on to the reason I came to talk with you today. I know you may be reticent to reveal anything, but it is a matter of national security that you tell me the location of the Elements of Harmony."

"I wouldn't tell you where my team was if I knew. By now, they've fled across the world and gone into hiding. There's no chance of ever finding them."

Celestia frowned, "Respectfully, Miss Sparkle, I am not talking about your fellow thieves, but the artifacts you helped them to steal."

"Artifacts?" Twilight felt her least favorite feeling, confusion, creep up on her, "Do you mean the ones from the old mare's tale?"

"I assure you, it is no mere tale. They are very real and the future of this nation depends on them. By stealing them from my personal vault, you and the others may very well have brought about the apocalypse."

"You're joking, right? Trying to pull a fast one on me before you send me off to prison for the rest of my life? Princess?"

"I am not joking. Miss Sparkle, could you perhaps find this team of yours?" Princess Celestia was, at least seemingly, dead serious.

Twilight chuckled, "I'm not that simple, Princess. I won't believe in something so ridiculous as friendship power magic super weapons just because you're a convincing liar."

"Forgive me, my little pony, what I'm about to do is not technically legal. However, I believe it is the only way that you will be willing to assist me in this endeavor. I will show you why we need the Elements of Harmony," Celestia's horn was enveloped with her signature light gold magic.

Before Twilight could form a protest, her world went black.

[SOMEWHERE ELSE?]
Light, bright flashes of light. Then, darkness. Armies of the undead and magically enslaved, marching across Equestria. Days upon days of darkness. Night without end. Finally, clarity.

Celestia sat in the throne of the sun. The throne of the moon stood regretfully empty to her left. Only now did she notice how much smaller it was in comparison to her own. If only she had seen it sooner, maybe she could have stopped it.

A guard, who had been vying for the Princess' attention for a few minutes at this point, finally brought her out of her ruminations.

"Princess Celestia, Nightmare Moon's horde is at our doorstep, what are your orders?"

"Tell everypony to stand down. This is between Luna and I," Celestia's voice was firm and resolute, but tinged with a great sadness.

The sword at her side felt so heavy. How had it come to this?

A chilling voice echoed through the room, seemingly from nowhere, "I've told you time and time again, sister, that is not my name."

"Show yourself. We might still end this through diplomacy. I do not wish to cut down my own flesh and blood."

Horrible laughter the response Celestia received as the shadows congealed to form a mare who was her match in stature and size, "There is no need to lie. I know you never cared for me, not for a second. You still look down upon me from your throne. The only solution to be found is bloodshed."

Begrudgingly, Celestia drew her sword and leveled it at Luna. There had to be a nonviolent way out of this, some way to fix things before it was truly too late. How could she...

That was it! The Elements of Harmony. Would they even work? They had to, it was her best chance. Wait, where had Luna gone?

Spinning around faster than lightning, Celestia only barely caught Luna's incoming strike with her sword. Luna had a dagger made of some wicked metal that emanated foulness.

Where the two blades met, there was an intense struggle, but the superior combatant became quite clear as cracks began to spread outwards, along Celestia's sword.

Dropping her weapon, Celestia flew for the display in the room's center which held the Elements. As she approached she took them into her magic before spinning to face Luna.

"You truly have become desperate, sister. What good will those do, when they require the both of us to use them," Luna taunted.

Celestia was desperate. She was begging the inert pieces of stone for help so fervently that she almost didn't notice when they began to spin around her.

Luna could only cry in surprise as she was consumed by bright light and vanished.

Princess Celestia drifted down to the ground as the elements stopped spinning. When their magic had left her completely, she collapsed to the ground and began to cry.

[CANTERLOT PALACE]
[DUNGEON]
It had to be fake. That was the more rational explanation. At least, Twilight wished it was. But it wasn't. Fake memories could be constructed and forced upon a pony, but not emotions. Certainly not emotions that strong. Not to mention the sheer level of detail that would have had to go into it. The Princess definitely didn't have any kind of motive to lie about something so ridiculous. It had to be real.

"Now tell me, Miss Sparkle, could you track down your team if you needed to?"

More than anything, the dip into Celestia's memories served to disorient Twilight, enough that she answered without thinking, "Of course I could. I am the one who devised the plans. Wait! No!" She grunted with frustration.

She didn't like Celestia, but that thing, Nightmare Moon, was a monster. It had to be stopped from destroying Equestria, that much Twilight had gleaned. She would have to go along with whatever the Princess had in mind. It wasn't like she was in a position to refuse, anyways.

"Thank you for your cooperation," Celestia gave her an almost smug smile, "I have some preparations to make. You'll have to start your investigation soon if you want to stop Nightmare Moon from bringing about eternal night."

It was a few hours longer before anypony else came down to visit her. Not that it was a pony who visited her. As before, she heard the hoofsteps echoing down the long staircase before she laid eyes on the source. Bipedal, wearing some kind of armor. She could hear this unknown quantity coming down the stairs. Interesting.

Into her view came a, from the looks of it young adult, dragon. It was clad in the armor of a royal guard. No wings. He? Yes, he must have been born amongst or at least raised by ponies. That meant that his name was likely uncreative, a physical description of some kind.

"Let me guess, Spines? Scales? Sparky? Something like that?"

The dragon gave her an unamused look, "It's Spike, actually. And you're Magic. Or should I say, Twilight Sparkle? Finally behind bars I see."

"Yes, I suppose I am. Well? Out with it. Why are you down here? I'm not much in the mood for small talk."

"I must apologize, as I have not introduced myself to you fully, my lady," Spike said in a mocking tone, "I am Detective Spike of the Royal Investigations Bureau. I've had my eye on you for quite a while now."

"What exactly do you mean?" Twilight couldn't tell what he was trying to imply.

At this, Spike let out a deep sigh, "I have been trying to track you down and bring you to justice for over a decade. I'm a bit disappointed that I wasn't the one to do it, but I'm certainly glad to see you locked up."

"So, you've come here to gloat?"

"Only a little bit. Frankly, I'm not sure of why, only that I was ordered down here by the Princess. She likely knew how hard I had worked and wished to give me some closure. How kind of her."

"Not quite, Detective."

Celestia had returned. Twilight cursed herself for becoming too caught up in the conversation. Spike snapped to salute the Princess.

"At ease. I hope you two are becoming fast friends, because that will make things easier for everyone."

Spike dropped his salute and gave the Princess a confused look, "With all due respect, your highness, what are you talking about?"

"I've come up with a solution to the problem of the missing Elements of Harmony. Twilight Sparkle can track her team down. Obviously, I can't trust her to undertake the mission alone. However, if I were to, say, assign my most trusted guardsman to keep her in check," Celestia paused for Spike's eyes to light up with understanding, "Exactly. Here's your briefing. I'll only say it once, so listen closely. You two have until the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration to return here with the Elements. If you fail, Nightmare Moon will be unchecked and bring death and destruction across Equestria. I have authorized the use of a Scout-class airship. You may use royal funds as you see fit, within reason of course. This mission is top secret. Do you understand?"

Spike saluted the Princess again, "Completely, your highness."

"Excellent, Miss Sparkle will be released into your custody as soon as you are ready to leave."

With this, Celestia left. There was an awkward silence between Twilight and Spike. She couldn't believe that the Princess had given her such a ridiculous task, that would also have to accomplished in such a short period of time. Yet, as her painful trip down Princess Celestia's memory lane had shown, it was necessary.

Finally, Spike broke the silence, "Well, partner, you'd better get some beauty sleep. We'll head out first thing tomorrow morning."

She hoped that the dragon wouldn't be this annoying the entire time.