"Dimiiiiitriiiii."

"Dimiiiitriiiii."

"Dimi - Would you wake up!"

"Gah!" Face meet floor, hi floor, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I groaned under the muffled collection of sheets and finely sanded floorboards, I had fallen out of the comfort of sleep and found myself slightly tangled up if that wasn't obvious. A simple turn and I was wiggling myself free due to the lack of hands, arms...human body that I lacked, yeah, I'm not playing the dumb card. "Oh, was it all just a dream? No. If I 'WAS' a dream, why does my body feel like a bus ran over it!?"

Snorting at that statement, I cringed at the sound of my own, girlish voice, the only prospect of its good use is that I wasn't so high-pitched that glass would shatter on contact with the sound waves. I do remember that I was in a guest room...at Sugarcube Corner...hmm, could be worse, but given that Pinkie of all ponies happened to be here, helped me out yesterday, and the owners were nice enough to let me stay, I wasn't going to complain in the slightest. Look, don't get me wrong, I hate borrowing from people I can't pay back, but considering that it was raining all day and night, I was still cold, a few bumps and scrapes that could get infected too, any sane person with half a brain cell could say it was stupid not to accept. That, and they were very insistent.

"Good to know you're not an 'Oh I won't accept help because then I'll be used by those around me for their own gains'." I suddenly jumped back from nothing, my dumbfounded expression clear from the mirror before me. "I swear, those guys can just die for all I care, I have standers of my own, but help is help whether or not you have the capability to view such in that way."

"G-Gambit?"

"The one and only." His sly reply came out, and I felt a cocky expression rise to me again, but my twitching eyebrow and boiling blood was not as clear as my facial features

"You bloody left me in a forest filled with Timberwolves ready to gut me you slag!" I tried to keep my voice down so as not to wake the people who let me stay here for the night. What? I care little if people think I'm crazy, but I ain't dealing with the awkwardness of being kicked out, that's for sure

"What? That's how most Human in Equestria start, right? Sent to Equestria, wake up in woods, chased out by Timberwolves?" He paused, humming as if the context he described was uncertain to him. "Did they change that since I last checked?"

"Gambit, if you want me to help you get these rings, why did you stick me in the body of a girl!?" I growled and only a light laugh broke the silence in my head, the blood rising to my cheeks as if a group was looking at me directly

"I told, remember? I lost your new body and had to find something useful, this was the only unicorn type I had! If I could just steal ponies away I would." Gambit defended himself. "Believe me I tried."

This was getting me nowhere at subway levels of consistency. "Okay...how do I use this ring without fingers?"

"Straight back to the point, love it!" I was growling at my reflection. "Okay-Okay, the ring I gave you is the White Ring of Bladedance, as I mentioned before, you can summon any weapon you want so long as this Universe has weapons that obey the laws. So tech is out and magic is the new Meta. In order to harness their power you have to assert will over the ring, meaning your strength of heart, spirit, will, all these traits of a person give you the power to master the rings, the more you have, the harder it is."

"Seriously? That sounds like a stupid Ex-Machina." I mean, cool, I now know how to conjure their power if I can't learn magic by then, but why 'Willpower'?

"Because if you lose yourself, if your own soul is brought down to such a low point, you'll be consumed by them." ...

WAIT WHAT!?!

"Woah, that was not part of the deal? I just got a...rather annoying body, doesn't mean I want to die again under some 'One Ring to rule them all' BS!" I snapped in a hushed voice, glaring daggers towards my reflection, those golden eyes staring back was all I could construct. "I got hit by a bus, how ironic is that?"

"Very ironic actually." I scoffed, slamming my head onto the bed to muffle my moan of bewildered defeat by the hands of a madman. If I don't die in this body, these ring will do it for me, one fire pit and into another

"Thank you...for summing that up."

"Here." I raised an ear at the 'chink' of metal in a bag beside me, the thud making my gaze tilt to look at the brown pouch beside me, whatever its contents were had to be something worthwhile to open. "Consider this your 'Starter Kit', or 'Pay to Win' fee."

"If I open it will you stop with the Meta jokes already?" Nothing but a silent answer, sighing with a small smile I used my hoof to pop the buckle off, revealing a shiny collection of golden coins before my eyes, and it was there that my smile grew wider with glee, the sight of glimmering loot had never made this horrid form more enjoyable to be in. "Ooooh, I love it."

"Knew you would, that should fund you for quite some time, given how you have only a ragged cloak to your name and possibly mental problems, I think this will suffice." Gambit sounded far too smug about it, yet once more I pushed that air of caution to the wind in favor of getting my bearings together

"Ok, I'll need a place to rent out, for now, no way do I want to overstay my welcome here, despite how nice the owners are. Getting some clothing is a must, I may be growing accustomed to this 'fur' but a little added protection never hurt anyone before. Maybe a book on magic..." The options of my day were piling up, suddenly I felt a little elated at the prospect of getting this show on the road, but there was one question I still had. "Gambit, why don't you just give me a house? Or the funding for one anyways?"

"Do I look like a piggy bank to you?" I gave the empty room a bemused expression, that lie was far from the worst thing he's done, but even a child could tell he was lying. "Fine. Since some...metamorphic problems have arisen in your current state, I'll give you a reward for every ring you gather, how's that?"

Hmm. "Sure, I'm good with that."

"Cool-Cool, I got things to do better than playing My Little Pony, have fun Dimi~!" Did he just...he called me...I hate him, the guy's strange, slightly helpful, but I hate him. Once this day of mine is through I'll be back to complaining about this form of mine. Oh who am I kidding, I hate this!

Hate. Hate. Hate!

Slowly muttering to myself while trailing down the steps to the bakery, I found that the place had more people than yesterday, guess the rain does put these ponies off, well most of them that is. A few background ponies, but not a sign of any of the main cast or side ones, good, fewer distractions the better for today. While I don't mind a simple 'hello', being dragged into a conversation was not my priority, nor did I need them butting into my list of things to do. Shelter. Clothes. Magic Book. Simple enough.

"Morning, dear." Huh? Raising my head to the voice I noticed that it was...Mrs. Cake? I swear these names will either kill me or remembering them all. She seemed to be working on finer details on a sponge cake, trying to expertly layer the icing on the cake, no pun in intended. Not wanting to be rude, I gave her a small nod of my delirious head

"Mornin'." Moving to sit on the same stool as when I came into this place, I could still feel the cold leather from the night before, it even felt weird because of the sponge inside absorbing the rainwater from me, perfect. Something else bothered me though, the way she was layering the icing, it didn't look right, not that I'm questioning a woman on her talents, just...the colors, they bothered me. "Say, why you using white and red?"

"Oh? Well since Autumn is around the corner I wanted to try a small theme with this cake, just a test to see how it turns out ascetically-wise." Mrs. Cake explained to me, but I held my hoof to my chin in thought, my eyes and mind slowly working back up to full power now

"Try adding a honeycomb color too, make the pattern transition between the different colors like the changing of seasons," I suggested my outlook on her design, this made her stop to ponder on my words before she sat the icing down to look at me curiously. "Red and White remind me of romance or winter, adding a warm shade create a better contrast, but not so much that it's an eyesore."

"That...yes, that it!" Well, I made her happy, mission acomplished, brain. Her warm smile seemed to grow at that fondly and I merely rested my hoof against my cheek with a bored expression. "I think you showing up here is a stroke of good luck, Miss...sorry, I never asked Pinkie or you for your name."

"Aye, it's fine. Name's Dimitri, and also, 'Good Luck' is not a good set of phrases to put in the same sentence as me." I made that last point clear. I am no good fortune, I am everything wrong and I know that. I don't think I'm pure evil or something extreme, but I'm the last person to be considered a good person entirely. That, I don't believe in 'Normal People', so that made the margin finer

"Oh, you're awake, perfect!" Suddenly a gust of wind brushed beside me, ending with a flurry of pink in my face, the mare in question leaning over the table with a wide smile. "I have lots of really important questions to ask you, like. Your favorite color, food, sweet, music, book if you read any, age-"

My hoof firmly covered her auto jaw from clanking along, my breath slow as I looked to her with a bemused expression. "Pinkie, while I have appreciated your help, really, I have, my day is going to be a long and annoying one, meaning I don't have time for twenty million questions about my sob story."

"But-" I shut her muzzle again, I didn't want to get mad at her of all ponies, I was being firm, there's a difference

"Pinkie. I have nowhere to live, little to no money, no job, only my 'charming' personality, annoying voice, and a cape to my name. I don't don't have time to mess around." Said cape on my back right now, thankfully cleaned overnight. I removed my hoof from her face again, giving them both a fake smile. "I'll see ya around, Pinks."

Pushing myself around, I sat my hooves back on the ground with a slight stumble, still wasn't used to walking on all fours yet but I was getting there. Yet I couldn't stop my head from turning to see...remember when I said I don't like 'Good Luck' next to my name? Pinkie looked...less happy, sure, she was smiling but her eyes looked...guilty? Can I ever catch a break?

"R-Right, have fun today, Dimi." Pinkie left for the kitchen before I could say anything. But, wait, the time she grows restrain in pressing answers to people was after that one episode with the Griffon...yeah, she stopped being so insistent to her friends while Rainbow learned who her real friends were, interesting as that episode was, she...considers me a friend?

"Great, now I just made Pinkie upset with me over a simple snap in my tone, perfect, the first pony in this place to be nice to me and now this," I grumbled, glaring at a few background ponies staring at me, those curious eyes soon turned away just as quickly. "I'm on a track record now!"

"Miss. Dimitri." Turning around again, Mrs. Cake stood with a soft, almost motherly smile on her face again. "Pinkie Pie is a nice girl, a little overbearing at times but she means well to everypony."

"I know, just that I have the talent of messing up everything I touch, pony or otherwise." Great, now I felt guilty, Gods dammit. "Honestly she's the only one I know of that has been a genuine good...pony to be around."

"You did say you were going to look for a job, but that would be hard to come by, Ponyville is a small town and not many jobs are available this time of year." If that's supposed to make me feel worse than it's working. Obviously, she could see the visible slump in my form, and she giggled softly, looking at me kindly. "But..." But? "I could offer you a place to stay here if you're willing to work?"

Did she...just offer me a job? Like, I cannot be kicked onto the streets to fend off the coming winter? I...while the prospect of these ponies generosity was nice, it was...far too nice, I mean who offers someone a job without knowing a thing about their background, qualifications, and...s-screw it. Screw it, I need a stable source of income, gotta sell it though.

"I mean...I did work as a KP, I have experience in woodwork too if that helps." I shrugged at probably my two most useful traits in working in a bakery, but this place also doubles like my old job, it's a cafe, so... "I've also worked as a waiter once, mind you I stuck to KP since it was much easier, but really whatever you need my skills for I can provide."

"Perfect, it won't be much so payment will really be just for a room here, sorry." I raised my hoof quickly, not wanting to make this conversation anymore awkward

"You and Pinkie have already done more than I can clearly pay for, so once again, thank you." I ten chuckled a little. "I have another skill, but that's my only other option for income, but enough about that, I'll be heading out to grab some things."

"I don't mind, you can start early tomorrow if that isn't too much to ask."

"You're my boss now, so if nothing's got me caught up I can be here, don't many places to go." I muttered the last part under my breath

As far as I can see things. I need a stable source of income for my investigation into these Rings of Reality, I have one, but I also have a horn so magic will be extremely useful. There's also that Zebra in the woods that I think has or is going to show up, potion brewing would be grand too. Equipment for venturing into the Everfree, especially against more Timberwolves. I guess I should be grateful these ponies are so naive, makes my housing and money problem simple to solve, but it keeps my mind off this form and voice of mine, Gods know every aspect of this body makes my skin crawl and my mentally fragile.

Lord help those who dare hit on me. I'm not one for looks, but I got to say I do look like a badass, I actually remind myself of Blackjack come to think of it, only less cybernetics and more comical suffering and sarcasm.

"Right, see you later, Dimitri." With a short wave between us I slowly pushed the oak door open to bask in the warmth that remained of Summer, this colorful world was indeed nice and lively, but something's out there and knowing how bad guys work it probably wants to rid those who would stand between it and the Rings, well, I play catch-up then

"Seeya, Boss." With that, I stepped onto the dirt track ahead

Equestria was as bright, animated and lively as presented from the TV, while the brightness was far more present now, at least my eyes haven't melted from their sockets, I noticed that right away upon searching the town. The residents were all friendly, too friendly given how used to casual greetings of my world, but I'm not on Earth, I'm in Equestria thanks to an unknown creature named 'Gambit'...yeah, that makes me sound crazier than Discord.

Now THAT'S someone I can't wait to meet.

While I decided to venture into the town on my own, I did have absolutely no idea where I was going, did I ask for directions? No, because I'm an introvert and I get uncomfortable asking strangers for assistance, I know its a curse, look if they instigate a conversation, by all means, I'll ask, until then, this sad, sad little man will keep to himself.

This train of thought lasted a full five seconds.

Something out the corner of my eye forced my whole perception of time to crawl at the sight of a pony working on one of the thatch roofs, but that didn't matter to my eyesight, what did was the tool case sat beside him, or lack of one since it was sliding towards the edge of the roof and from the point it was going to descend it would strike a yellow pony who was walking towards said drop zone. Not good, not good at all.

My better judgment aside, I broke into a sprint again as I did for the wolves, my mind a singular train of conative thought against logic and the rules of this world, while I doubt severe injury was an apparent staple in this universe, I wasn't going to find out by standing there and watching someone who had done nothing wrong be my lab rat. Gods, I hope this is worth my time, I did just get this wretched body.

"Get back!" With a startling yell from me and my hooves shoving the pony back, I was met with a brief pause of nothing. Did the pony catch it with - wait, he was a - GAH, son of a-! "Oww...why me...?"

"Oh my, are you okay!?" If I wasn't I'd be dead...I felt both the case and tools atop my back, all adding their own apparent sensation of pain, after a moment to groan under the case, I pushed my body off the ground, the tools falling off my back like rain, if rain was reinforced steel. With a shake of my head, I felt my back pop multiple times

"Ahh...so much better." I turned back to the yellow pegasus...with a pink mane, blue eyes...Fluttershy. "Aye, I just love putting myself in painful predicaments to save ponies from OTHERS WHO CAN'T KEEP A GRIP ON THEIR GEAR!"

My yell made the earth pony above wince, while I just looked to the second main character, and my youngest sister, Ruby's favorite, Fluttershy. The look of worry plastered on her face was a complete contrast to my smirk at actually coming face-to-face with another of the cast, while not my favorite, she was purely innocent.

"O-oh, I'm sorry, miss...I-I didn't mean for you to be hurt because of me." Is she apologizing for an act out of her control? Ugh, so innocent it makes any heartless being gain said organ

"I'm still alive, no harm no foul." I waved, moving past her to continue on my merry way, I have done something nice, its only a matter of time before I bring misfortune, and I doubt it was the tool case that crashed into my spinal cord like a ton of bricks. "Try keeping your eyes on where you walk, eh?"

"T-thank you, but umm...what's your name?" That makes three, meh, no harm in telling

"Dimitri, seeya around..."

"I..I'm Fluttershy." Even if she was a near whisper, I still knew what she was trying to tell me, so with a final wave of my hoof I moved on with a painful amount of pressure flaring across my back. I swear, next on my list is to file a health and safety complaint for my poor vertebrae

Now, I've gone and made the first kind pony to me upset. Managed to gain housing and a job. Now I had my spine fractured in possible places I'd rather not see on an X-Ray, did they have X-Ray's here? Was it magic? Questions for later I suppose. Now, what could make my day feel worse, you may be wondering like that itching feeling in the back of my neck supposed? I don't know why, but every time something unexpected is about to happen I always get this itching sensation on the back of my neck, sometimes I just have an itch.

"Look out beloooow~!"

This was not an itch, this was a live burial.

It was all in a flash of unsuspecting colors, but my body had made compressed contact with something at terminal velocity, the result, I was face-first in the ground, the attacker crushing my body from above as the gravel and dirt muffled my yell of annoyance over the events beginning to unravel before my mind, I guilt-tripped, crushed and buried all in a row, I just need water and fire and I got myself the Elements of Misfortune...that's actually a good title, I'm keeping that.

"Hello, darkness my old friend..." I grumbled, feeling the hooves wrench me from the dirt, and the culprit was the Skittle, slash, meme embodiment, Rainbow Dash. While I was on the brink of collapse, she looked ready to burst into a fit of laughter

"S-Sorry 'bout that, I, heh, I hit a massive wind current, and well you know the rest." Casual to the point of being naive

"Transparently." Was my irritated response to her humor, shaking the loose bits of dirt from my mane I rubbed a hoof across my dry muzzle. "I'd say be cautious, but when do you of all ponies know the meaning of it?"

"Well, you got me there," Rainbow replied with a cool shrug but quickly flashed me an apologetic look. "Seriously though, you alright? I did hit you a terminal velocity?"

"Aye," It's my usual response, sue me. "I've suffered worse at the ha - hooves of this village already." Hmm...idea. "Say, have you tried using those currents to aid your flying?"

"For speed, of course!" Rainbow spun into the air with a flap of her wings, grinning down on me. "What better way to gain speed is there without physical power?" While her lack of knowledge in everything else was noticeable, I won't deny her experience when it comes to aerial capability

"Try finding the center of the current and ride the flow, you'll gain top speeds and still have complete control over your flight patterns, maybe enough to avoid burying ponies in shallow graves?" My suggestion wasn't without dry sarcasm, but Rainbow still winced slightly but looked deep in thought of my advice, and as if a lightbulb flicked on, she nodded to herself

"Yeah...yeah that could work awesomely!" Is that a word? She quickly patted my shoulder and flew towards the sky again, turning back to view my curious look. "Hey, thanks-"

"Name's Dimitri, and I know who you are, Rainbow Dash." While I didn't like the fact I was put into the ground like some sicko playing Minecraft, I still held no contempt for the Skittle Pony, but if it happens again I won't hold back my ranting

"Well, seeya around, Dimi!" Wait I - She's gone...I bloody hate that nickname, I sound like a...

"Oh to hell with you Gambit!"

Where am I now? A forest? I had wandered around the village, preferably along the outskirts to gain a better footing of the locations from an elevated point, made marking certain places easier than simply wandering in circles and getting distracted by shop windows and stalls. For example, SCC or Sugarcube Corner would act at my compass point, so any locations would be from there onwards as my central location. That forest with the shimmering trees was in the East according to Pinkie; Note, remember to apologize later, anywho, the Everfree was to the South East, I remember walking to my left...so I was heading North or North East, so I'll either see the...Okay, let's call it, Silver Grove, yeah, I like that. So I'll appear near it or the Everfree, depending on where this route takes me, which is another forest...hmm...

*Bonk*

"Ow." My dry wince at the solid thunk to my head was apparent to no one, and when the red object rolled to my feet like a warning signal of an explosive, it wasn't over

*Bonk*

"Ow." Bonk. "Ow." Bonk. "Ow." Nope. "Ha, missed." Bonk

I was now scratching my head with my hoof, lack of fingers making this progress painful but much better for the soft tissue damage I'd endured from several apples that struck my head, if I wasn't already damaged mentally this would have caused some issues. I do have to admit these apples looked brilliant, a rich red texture, not a bruise or sign of ripening to be seen on the surface. You know what, this tree's giving me the sign that I haven't eaten today, so why not? I just got fruitful of apples to the head...

"Did I just think of an apple pun?" Wow, really getting to the core of this world's puns...I'll stop. Picking up the first of the apples to attack me fruitlessly, I lied, I examined the magical power of invisible fingers on my hoof, I get magic is a fundamental plot armor of this show, but seriously, this just breaks every rule in the book, I have a flat surface for a hoof, no ridge, and I don't even know how to use the spike sticking out my forehead for levitation. "Welp, ain't gettin' any deader." I bit down on the surface

By all that is holy, I have found Eden.

The flavor of this fresh fruit was by far an amalgamation of natural flavor and sweetness, the juice wasn't bitter but just as amazing as the apple itself if I wasn't smiling before, I was now. With a soft moan at the taste, I happily ate away at the fresh apple in-hoof, my thoughts of today's experiences feeling worth every painful moment for this reward of nature. I may not like my new form, but by the Gods, I didn't have a problem with this world's sweets and fruits.

*Bam*

This moment of bliss all but lasted thirty seconds.

"Ahh, mother of God, why!?" I cradled my head again from the back, rolling on the grass in pain over the force of a sharp slap to the back of my dome, whoever did that was officially making me angry, you can annoy and irritate me, but violence only bred more of the same kind, but I had the mind of a human. "What is it now~?"

"You bein' a thievin' varmin, that's what!?" The amount of 'Ns' in that sentence would make me tongue-tied, I slowly rolled back around to see another pony before my eyes, an Earth Pony to be clear, and was orange...oh no, the stubborn one. "You either pay, miss, or else."

"Jesus, take a chill pill you nut-case, I didn't know I was on a farm, not exactly labeled as a farm for miles!" I hissed, rubbing my head as my hooves push me back off the ground, from a small pouch attached to my cape I procured the bag of bits from seemingly nowhere. Also, 'Bits', that has to rank high on the unoriginality of the name, I get its what a 1/8th of a dollar in America way back when, or in layman's terms, 12.5 cents. Why not Dram or Col, hell, I'd take Glimmer just to make me smile more. "Look, just tell where I can get back to the village and we'll be good."

"Well alright, but don't try lyin' to me either." Her steely reply only added to my salty attitude; That's right, she's a lie detector in pony form and I'm a guy who happens to have zero filter on what I think and do. Handing her the Bits, stupid name, I pointed up at the tree that attacked me

"I was crushed my tools saving Fluttershy, buried by the walking trademark Rainbow, and now pummeled by sweet fruits, I believe that deserves some form of compensation, low and behold, the first fruit trees for miles happened to be a farm, hooray!" I threw my hooves up in dramatic fashion, moving past the bemused Applejack, but her eyes reflected...what, remorse? Bah, bah I say! "Nevermind, I'll find my way back...eventually."

"...Turn left, and..."

"Stealing is stealing despite my reasons, goodbye." I waved her off, my day has gone from sour to sweet than a bitter-sweet again. "Don't make apologies for those who are cheap."

How was I reacting so calmly to all of this? I mean...I'm in Equestria and that aspect was already pushed aside come today, but...this form is what bothers me, how am I so calm about being stuck in the body meant for the opposite gender? It made me want to curl up and die, sure, but did my own goals outweigh my natural hate of this body? I wanted to go home, back to my two annoying sisters so I can keep their minds straight and on a better path than mine, but was that really it?

I also took meeting my sisters' favorite characters well too, I guess its exciting but the situations I found myself in broke that awkward barrier quickly. Fluttershy was nice, innocent, so I don't have a problem with her. Rainbow is fine, so long as she doesn't bother me I doubt I'd get irritated. Applejack? Already in my bad books, but then again I instigated it by accident, so we'll see. Pinkie...yeah, still feel bad about that, didn't think my attitude would affect her so quickly. All that's left is the egg-head Twilight and...Spike! Ohhohoho, I can't wait to meet a real dragon! He may be a growing dragon, but it was still a fire-breathing legend!

Rarity...nope, don't like her. My reason? If I ever encounter her, and I will if I'm to get something sorted for me, she'd try to mess with my hair and complexion, but my messy hairstyle is my hairstyle, I comb it but only enough to straighten out the bedhead, nothing more, but again we'll see how things go. Now, where can I find myself some knowledge, bar a man sitting in the corner with a car.

Library...

Library?

Lightbulb!

I slammed my hoof against my forehead; I truly am the reason this world may burn in my wake. The obvious answer to my question was somewhere among these streets, if anything that will contain the books I need to learn magic, I do that, and this ring won't be the only weapon I have! I am a genius. Scanning the medieval structures around me, my gaze drifted to my right, sat right in the middle of an intersection was the great tree that was seen almost every episode. If I make it back home, I'll thank my sisters for forcing me to watch this show with them.

Stepping up to the door of the mystical tree...house, it's a tree, but a house and a library...but its called a 'Treehouse' despite not being a 'Treehouse'? Moving on, I pushed the door open softly with my hoof, half expecting the door to recoil and crush my face or send me flying backward, nope, just an ordinary door. Cool. With a rush of warm air meeting my body, I felt a large shiver run down my back for a second as the door shut behind me.

To my eyes sat rows of colorful and bleak covers, sat in alphabetical order and perfection, a medium-sized table sat in the middle where a few books, quills and ink pots sat. Other than the added features of a house; Basement door, kitchen, stairs, etc. The place seemed empty, good, no bad luck to be found here. With no-one around I got to work scanning for 'M', if I were to learn magic or arcane spells, 'A' and 'M' were my best chances, maybe 'S' for spells or spiritual? Nah, stick to basics, Dimitri, keep it simple.

"Hey Twilight, you back ye - huh?" Wait...that voice. I needed to keep my hooves firm to the ground, don't freak out over the fact that a Dragon was watching you from behind, a legendary creature of power and badassness, keep calm Dimitri, stay focused. "Umm...who are you?"

"It's a library, I believe the concept of 'Public' is obvious?" I replied calmly, shoving my salty nature after today aside for a moment, with a slow turn I came to face the purple dragon himself, Spike. He was carrying a comic between his claws too, but he looked nervous in front of me, did I have a scowl again? "I'm scowling, aren't I?"

"W-What, no, I just - most ponies knock before entering, you're the first other than Twilight's friends to do that." I consider that a compliment on my intelligence, with a smirk I motioned to the shelves with my head

"Mind giving me a hand then? A dragon's help would be much appreciated." I asked him and to my surprise, he smiled and sat the comic on the table down

"Sure, what is it you're looking for?" Good question, my scaly friend

"Anything on basic magic, spells, arcane, nothing too complex." I listed, and without a moment of hesitation he pulled a dark purple book out

"How about...'Spellcrafter's Vol II'?" Spike was quick on the trigger, not bad. I nodded then...I paused. "What? not what you needed?"

"No...I...just can't use this blasted horn stuck to my forehead." That gave me a look of bewilderment, so I tapped it with a frown. "You wake up in a forest with this stuck to your head and tell me how you operate it?" I pointed at him to answer

"You woke up in the woods without knowing how to use magic?" He sounded sarcastic, and that sly look only made me snort

"Aye, typical amnesia lie wasn't what I was going to say anyway, so yeah, I literally do not know how to use magic, funny that." I chuckled a little, followed by Spike joining in

"Now then, shall we continue..." Might as well play the dumb card. To my liking, he held a claw out to me

"I'm Spike." Happily, I grasped his claw with my hoof, shaking with a buzz of glee over greeting a dragon

"Dimitri, glad to meet a dragon."

"-Then from nowhere, BOOM, this ball of purple magic came crashing into the horde of Hive, sending waves of magical surges across the area before the three of them, while the horde was wiped clean from existence!" I was now telling Spike about the great battle for The Last Array, and he was enjoying it to his heart's content, even getting us both tea, and that only made the woes of today melt away with the sweet nectar at my side

"What happened next!? Did they win?" He was at the edge of his cushion, claws grasping the table with anticipation. But my right ear flicked at the sound of the door opening, but I didn't pay to mind who entered it was a Public Library after all

"Well, with a final push of Zane, Ceres, and Morbin-7 the three pushed back the remaining horde, Zane slicing down the giant Hollowed Knight with a sword, shattering the Knight into pieces like glass and as quickly as the battle began, the air grew still once more with the sound of silence." I folded my forelimbs with a smile, seeing him clap for my tale told right, of course, I did delve a little into the lore to give the tale more 'oomph', but he liked it, much better than those bland comics

"That was quite the tale, a little, shall we say, foreboding?" Oh no. No-no-no-no-no. Turning around to the two that entered, the first was the purple prodigy herself, Twilight Sparkle, but the one I feared the most, Rarity, lords help me now. Spike didn't see the look of irritation that began to fester on my face, but I frowned a lot so it's hard to tell

"You missed it, Twilight! Dimitri was telling me this awesome story about three Guardian ponies that faced an army of aliens that wanted to harm Equestria!" Yeah, I twisted it, but I enjoyed telling it. I'd thank my friend for writing it if I make it back home alive. "Oh, right, this is Dimitri, my new friend."

"I second that!" I called out, sipping the last of my tea down my throat with a lengthy sigh at the sweet taste over my bitter emotions. "I came by the gather some knowledge on all things magical, I also made friends with a scaly dragon, so a win-win for me."

"Really? Well, I'm Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you, Dimitri." Kind start, then she pointed to Rarity. "This here is Rarity, and - umm, Rarity?"

"I'm sorry dear, but what is that ghastly thing you're wearing?" Her hoof was pointed with a disgusted look at the tattered cape on my back, while I do agree it needs a makeover, it happens to be a part of the set I label as 'Mistake', myself included in the purchase

"You dissing the cape?" I asked with a mocked expression, before turning to a flat stare. "While I do need a remodeling of this thing, It happens to have kept my back from becoming torn by dirt, so its a lucky accessory to me."

"No-no, this simply cannot be. A lady can't walk around in such...barbaric clothing." Don't ponies normal walk around naked anyways? Twilight shared the internal statement with a confused raise of her brow

"Rarity, I don't think it matters, ponies don't wear clothing, and even if they do, there's obviously some significance to Dimitri's cape." Twilight's persuasive advice fell on Death's ears, the mare looked determined, and I looked helplessly at Spike

"Nice knowing ya, buddy, but if I die, you know why." My sharp reply was followed by him nodding, and I continued my rant. "You can redesign the cape, but only under my designs, so sadly, that will have to wait a day or so. Other than that, back off."

"Very well, but you must let me do something with your mane." I went from defense to offense. "That wild, unkempt look makes Rainbow Dash presentable."

"Ouch." Both Twilight and Spike muttered at the burn, while I grinned with a devilish glow in my eyes, like my white ring

"Touch my hair, you lose a limb, you come near me with a blade and I'll do the same," I growled, patting my wild style. "Ain't no one touching this beautiful calamity and that's that."

"But this -" I slammed my hoof

"You. Will Not. Touch It." I wasn't going to crack under her persistence, I am not that weak. "I am extremely self-conscious about my hair and it's length, style included. Much like the ring I bear you won't lay a hoof on either."

"The Ring?" Oh bugger I just let that cat out didn't I? See what rage and paranoia of one's looks can do to a man? I grazed the ring with a hoof, the chain rattled a little at my touch. "Oh wow, can I...sorry, you mind if I look at it?"

"At least you asked, unlike someone." I glared at Rarity, then motioned for Twilight to look at the ring around my neck, her eyes glowing with wonder, Spike merely sat with a curious gaze

"Amazing! The ring itself has properties of magic embedded in the metal, I was wondering what I was sensing before." Unicorns can do that? I guess having the ring with me at all times made that sense numb to me, moving away from me Twilight sat down with us at the table. "So, where did you get it?"

"...Someone gave this to me." That was all I would say, but Rarity had given me a knowing look of kindness

"Oooh, 'someone', a life-long partner?" Whatever Hasbro wanted to do with this character I did not know, but I didn't like it, my red face certainly didn't, stupid body, stupid antisocial behavior!

"Continue that line of questioning, try me," I warned, sighing as I patted my cheeks. "No, the pony that gave this to me wanted me to find others like it, there are six more out there, this was the first. No way in hell would I be in a relationship, I'd rather die alone."

"Seven rings? Sounds like a Daring Doo book." Spike commented while I took my chance to leave before I lost the will to live completely

"Much as I like talking with you three about things I would prefer never came up again, I must go, I have what I required." I tied the sack of books to my back tightly, nodding to Spike with a smile. "Let's talk more, having a guy to talk to makes my life a little less crazy."

"Will you tell more stories!?" I laughed at that, nodding with a salute. Good, one friend made and it happens to be a dragon, good end to the day if I do say so myself. "Yes!"

"Dimitri?" I turned my head again, seeing the look of interest on Twilight's face. "Why did you need books on basic magic?"

"I don't know how to use magic."

...

...

She laughed, and I felt my frown deepen. So close to me liking you, Twilight, and that small step just crumbled at your hooves. While it didn't scave me much, I still find the prospect of having the main character of the show mock me. Her laugh died away, seeing the look of seriousness on my face, and she immediately turned to concern again. Yeah, too late, even Spike caught on to how I was taking it.

"You...you really don't know?"

"Noooo, what makes you say that?" She winced at my harsh tone, Rarity already looked remorseful, but I wasn't having it. "Well, seeya, Spike."

"Dimitri-" The door had closed behind me and I relished in the fact I got to put that fashion pony in her place. It's one to suggest a new look for someone, but to try and force change on themselves without any tact is as bad as mocking them for who they were. And yes, while the idea of a unicorn not understanding magic is unheard of, I don't have a problem with her laughing, but the sound, how it was directed at me...that made things come up that shouldn't. Still, she's not a bad pony, just picking her words or actions carefully would suffice

"Christ, today was a rollercoaster." Staring up at the evening sky, I felt the last of the sun's warmth begin to strike my face, the soft breeze brushing my cape slightly, the tattered fabric torn to the point it might fall apart on me. If Rarity has the sense to hear me out, I'll see if she can prep some clothing ideas I have

"I'm a cursed black cat, I'm an albatross, I'm a mirror broken, sad to say, I'm everyone's bad luck charm."

"SURPRISE!"

Holy Mothers of Gods! Falling backward onto my haunches, I felt my heart nearly tear itself from my chest at the sudden shock, my face rising in heat from the sudden shock and eyes watching me. It was...a lot of ponies, most I don't even know, bar...ugh, the ones that put me through Hell's seven levels today, Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and the only one to be of amusement bar Pinkie, Spike.

"A...what?" I was honestly stuck between bewilderment and genuine confusion as to why this party was here, right now in my new temporary living space. To my clarity, Pinkie bounced up to me wearing a party hat, her smile wider than the sun

"Well, it's your 'Welcome to Ponyville and Home Party'!" I was too starstruck to make a response, I just...didn't expect this from strangers I barely knew, sure, I know about them, but I don't 'know' them. "It's also my super special apology party too for annoying you today."

"'Annoying me'?" Wait, did she mean - o-oh...wow. Feeling slightly guilty about that again, I rubbed the back of my neck. "Pinkie, that wasn't...that was me being me, I'm a massive ass - jerk, and I'm an idiot most of the time if that wasn't clear." I apologized instead, I guess I did come off as myself more than I realized, not many people back home would feel obligated to apologize for annoying me, it was just how things work and I was fine with that factor. "I didn't think you'd feel bothered by my attitude."

"Well duh, Pinkie told us how agitated you got, we...kind of seen we did that too, like me hitting you." Seriously? Rainbow Dash was apologizing? I have only been here two days and the world is starting to fall apart without my knowledge. The others all shared the same knowing looks, say for Spike and Applejack, the only two to NOT harm me today, but they watched as the others added their own points to my perplexed expression

"I didn't watch where I was going and you ended up hurt for saving me, thank you and sorry again." Fluttershy...how is that even her fault remotely? I got myself thrown under the...well I took the hit for her because my legs went autopilot

"I made of fun of something you don't have control of, that was hypocritical of me." Twilight was right, but that's only because most unicorns can utilize magic, but I can't, so it's understandable

"I...might have been a little insistent on your looks, Dimitri, even if most were justifiable." Touch my hair and so help me. "But I too am sorry for the stress I put you through today." I mean sure, if they're all sorry, so be it, so long as she has no intention of pulling that stunt again

"While a' had a justifiable reason, ah'm sorry too." Not necessary, so I waved her off with a small smile

"Trust me, I deserved it, but..." I felt my cheeks burn again at the stupid mistake on my end. If there was any other example to give of my bad luck, this was as clear as any point given by myself.

"Alright stop with the sappy apologizes." Raising my hoof I planted it back down with a hardened look. "I. Am. A. Jerk. This irritated, dry sarcasm is my usual shtick, I just have a funny way of displaying my views of the world, you all took as genuine anger, trust me, you'd have to try hard to make me angry at something. Unless you touch my...mane, I'm very self-conscious about that."

Seeing my smile rise back to my face, I looked to Spike who sat near what looked to be a music box, so I shook my head and shouted out to the group of ponies, whether or not I knew them, its like a nightclub in a way, we all come to party, turns out I'm the center of attention but who gives a damn.

"Alright, Spike, hit me up with some tunes! The sooner the attention is taken off me the better!" I wanted to crawl into a hole and die with all the eyes watching me, judging me, ugh. You know, given how much I've been decorated, tackled, thunked with objects, magically tortured and nearly drowned, even near-death by flying objects, these ponies are sort-of human, or what humans of good will are like

"You got it!" How people hate you is beyond me, my scaly friend, but whatever, as I said, these ponies are like humans too

They had flaws, they can come off as egotistical, pushy, annoying or even defenseless. But...they also are kind, forgiving in a way, and somewhat amusing to watch when I wasn't the one being injured, if not for this wretched form I may actually enjoy somethings about this world, even just a bit. Hell, this body helped me understand girls more, so win-win I guess, I met the Mane 6 and a bloody dragon and free insight into how the complex structural labyrinth of a girl's mind works...well, only by a tiny margin, but hey its a start.

All in all, Equestria so far may be A-Okay, even if just a bit.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

You all seemed to like the start of this story, many of which like the concept of a guy turned girl like me, plus Dimitri isn't one to be stubborn, only logical when the situation arises, such as when the Cakes offered her to stay while giving her a job, instead of 'Oh go work for Applejack' cliche. Hope you enjoyed this light-hearted chapter and seeya in the next one!

Next Chapter: Warlocks Go Floof
I may like the idea of my persona as a Hunter, but that doesn't mean magic is out of the question, A Hunter with the power of a Warlock, now that's a power play.

Author's Notes: This story takes place just after Season 1 Episode 15