A Conversation with a Kirin

by Clopficsinthecomments

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Porn, Sex, Comedy
Length: 2611

Yak Hoofteau, the famous explorer, has chanced upon the hidden Kirin village. But nopony will talk to him! Perhaps he can communicate with the cute Kirin mare following him about: he just wants to get a throat swab... that couldn't be misunderstood!

Yak Hoofteau has been observing Kirin behavior for over three days with no success. He can't discern any sort of language between these seemingly bored, mute, strange dragon-pony hybrids.

To make matters even worse, there is a Kirin that's been following him around like she was his shadow. The damn mare is constantly sticking her rear in his face as he tries to observe other Kirin and only replies to his queries with a tilt of her head... or a blank stare!

Maybe he can solve the mystery of their mute nature if he can get a throat swab, surely if he asks her for that she wouldn't misunderstand his intentions, right?

Wrong.

Now with a reading from the talented Scarlett Blade! Check it out on discord here!

CONTAINS: Blowies.

Based on the NSFW picture by Shino from (deletespace) derpibooru.org/ 1895899

Published 2018-12-04 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-04 20:40:01 UTC

A little one-sided, ain't it?

Yak Hoofteau’s Expedition Log Day 4 -
I continue to be amazed by this hidden, eccentric village. I had intended for this trek to be a welcome respite from my time surveying the depths of the hippogriff’s seapony empire. Though exceedingly kind and playful, I believe that those seapony’s had thought that I was actually a yak when they invited me to visit. When they discovered that I was not from Yakyakistan… no, I was just a Prench stallion with a punny name… another earth pony, albeit a somewhat famous explorer, come to invade their homeland for posterity. It was not long before I was quickly treated as another tourist to their newly uncovered domain.

Who would have thought that my time-off from measuring coral-homes and photographing bubble-art for a trek through the jungle would have led to the greatest discovery in modern hipppological history: the confirmation that the mythical Kirin are real, and right under our very noses!

Certainly, I am burning with questions and excited to learn more of this lost and wondrous culture… are they truly part pony, part dragon? Who have they survived in isolation for so long? Just how did their manes grow into such fascinating patterns, akin to the lions of Zebrica?

You could imagine my frustration then, when I discovered that not a single one speaks a word!

All day long, silent, bored faces stare back at me. Leaving only the sound of the nearby waterfall and river to drown out the chittering birds of the nearby jungle. And it’s not just because I’m around… I’ve carefully observed them when they’ve thought I was no longer present, and they do extraordinarily little to communicate amongst themselves either. Most of their interaction involves blankly staring at one another, with half lidded eyes and grim, taut faces.

I thought I had deciphered a form of blink language, watching a pair of young-adults in the marketplace at what appeared to be a banana vendor’s stall. I had almost despaired that perhaps the whole race was slow… or had been cursed in some other way. But here was commerce, interaction! The stallion blinks three times in succession, putting the banana on the stall counter. The mare blinks twice, touching the yellow fruit… perhaps a counter offer? The mare puts her forehooves up on the counter her tail raised in tension - a sign of disagreement? Now the male comes around the stand, about to seal the deal with a hoofshake, surely! I was sure I’d cracked the code.

...Then the male mounted her.

I refrained from facehoofing long enough to record their mating habits. A typical, though rather slender, phallus penetrated the mare and, without expression or sound, the male culminated after only three thrusts. He withdrew without comment (as expected), leaving a small mess that the mare seemed uninterested in, before taking the banana and leaving…

...These damn Kirin will be the end of me, I must unlock their secrets and publish them to the greater equestrian scientific community!

My only hope for any insight is this one green haired, brown-furred mare who follows me around all day, like a lost puppy-dog. I must have asked her hundreds of questions… each time only receiving a head tilt in response. Surprisingly, I have learned her name: Summer Flare. It was on the nametag she wore to her job as an attendant at the melon stand. You can imagine my excitement to learn that the Kirin could write… and write in perfectly understandable equestrian symbology!

...and my frustration in receiving only blank stares and cocked head tilts as responses to my proffered parchment and quill, or questions about initiating a written dialogue.

Still… she hasn’t tired of me! The mare follows me everywhere I go. Though she very rarely makes eye contact with me unless I force her. She seems determined to turn away from me, placidly standing with her rear directly in my face as I try to see her neighbors, until I finally shove her ample rear out of my way, and she turns to affix me with that blank gaze.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was annoyed at my antics.

I hope today I will make some progress, at least.

Yak Hoofteau set down his parchment, letting the ink dry slightly before shoving the piece of paper into his knapsack. Unsurprisingly, when he looked up, he was confronted with a face-full of brown furred Kirin plot.

Summer Flare was back yet again.

He had to pull back his muzzle quickly, to avoid physically brushing his nose against her rear. The sharp almond smell that always seemed to follow Summer filled his nostrils, making his nose tickle with excitement at the complex, musky aroma. With a sigh, he reached up and put his hood on her rear.

At his touch, she instantly stiffened… just the slightest bit. A small ripple going through her delicate back-scales. It would have been imperceptible to Yak if he hadn’t spent the past three days carefully observing these odd creatures. It almost seemed like… excitement?

Pushing the thought from his mind, Yak used his leverage against her to turn her about, bringing Summer Flare face to face with him. His eyes scanned the smaller Kirin’s face, once again finding only that blank stare and tightly drawn mouth. He sighed. He was sure that he was just projecting pony-norms onto the different creature in front of him, but he was sure that she looked angry with him.

“Good afternoon, again Summer Flare. How are you today?” Yak asked, his face smiling and hopeful.

Nothing. Not even a blink.

Yak groaned. He didn’t even know why he bothered. Speaking was just such an integral part of his psyche, his culture. Going mute was so… strange.

“Well… Summer I’d like to try something different today. I don’t want to ask you about your society, your history, or your culture. I want to find out more about your silence.” Yak looked at Summer, getting the expected non-reaction.

“Right, well… has your culture ever spoken before? I’ve noticed your ears do track me when I speak… and I do have to say, your kind don’t have the same complex hoof-languages as the deaf Scorponies of South Zebrica…”

Summer Flare tilted her left ever so slightly to the left.

Was that a yes!? “Really? And is there anykirin that can still speak? I’m desperate for conversation!”

Summer Flare’s head tilted a few millimeters further.

“Eureka! If you could simply point in that Kirin’s general direction, I will go and ask them everything I’ve been trying to glean from you, and never bother you again!”

Yak Hoofteau watched with bulging eyes as Summer Flare’s hoof started to lift off the ground, slowly turning as if she were going to point out his desired pony. He was so excitedly focused on the hoof, that he missed the tiny blush on Summer’s face and the smallest chewing of her lip, before she set her hoof back on the dusty earth.

“Gah!!” Yak stood on his hind legs, gripping his head in frustration. “I should have known I was getting my hopes up for nothing! There is no Kirin left that speaks, after all!”

A passing Kirin stopped and slowly looked at Hoofteau and Summer Flare, with a dull-glazed look. Summer Flare simply looked back at him, before he shrugged and moved on.

“Well Summer, there’s nothing for it. At least, if I know now that your kind once did speak, I can do a medical examination.”

Summer’s head tilted slightly.

“That’s right!” Yak nodded, as if he understood Summer’s movement. “I’d like to inspect your vocal chords. It could be an environmental toxin or magical curse affecting you. So, if you don’t mind, what I’d like to do is swab your throat.”

Yak saw Summer’s eyes widen at his statement. His mouth opened in speechless wonder at the largest reaction to anything he’d said to date.

His mind was still processing that minute eye movement when the Kirin lunged forward, grinding her muzzle against his sheath and balls. She drew her wet nose against the bare, furless skin between his testicles and his cock-sheath making him groan and quickly put his hooves on Summer’s strangely shaped horn to steady himself.

“Summer? What are youuuuugghnnn…….” Yak’s question was cut off as the Kirin-mare drew her tongue slowly from his red balls and up his quickly swelling sheath. Her tongue seemed hot... far hotter than the average pony’s mouth. Perhaps a remnant of her dragon ancestry? He had little time to further muse on the nature of her biology as her long tongue found the pink tip of his stallionhood peeking from his pouch. She immediately latched onto the protruding head, pulling it eagerly into her hot, sticky mouth.

“B-b-buck!” Yak groaned, feeling the smaller mare’s suction on his cock as she drew thirstily with her mouth on his rapidly growing tube of flesh.

She released his hips, sitting back as his erection spilled from his body, lengthening and drooping out with impressive speed as his stallionhood was filled with his aroused blood.

Yak opened his eyes to look down at the Kirin, who herself was staring cross-eyed at the fat cock rapidly expanding in her mouth, the thick medial ridge spilling out just in front of her nose, revealing that not only had this little mare bit off more than she could chew… but that Yak had only just passed the halfway point of his erection.

Yak flinched slightly, feeling the scrape of sharp Kirin teeth as Summer flare pulled off him quickly, before his girth trapped him in her mouth. She sat back, looking straight up at the large earth-pony erection, which quickly reached full-mast in front of her astonished eyes, before flopping against her face.

Yak could tell from her expression (what little expression there was), that Summer Flare had never seen this much cock in her life. He thought back to when she’d first started following him around… after she’d come across him relieving himself on the outskirts of town, his half-extended penis letting loose a steady stream of urine. At the time she’d seemed so placid, Yak had thought she’d barely noticed… but now, putting this together with what he’d seen of the earlier male Kirin’s thinner, smaller stallionhood, it came together…

This Kirin was thirsty for a big pony-cock.

Yak grinned, putting a hoof on his mottled red and pink cock, dragging the fat cock-flare against the slightly open lips of the Kirin sitting in front of him. “So… a little ‘cultural exchange’ then my dear? I show you the wonder of an earth-stallion’s big…” he slapped his cock end lightly on the Kirin’s lips, “fat…” she parted her lips slightly and he slapped the flare against them again, “cock…”

Summer Flare opened her mouth as wide as she could in front of him, pushing her tongue out as far as it would go. A blast of steamy heat rose from her open muzzle, hot saliva dripping from the corners of her mouth… a perfectly runway for Yak’s cock to be guided into her boiling red throat.

“There’s a good girl…” Yak slid his fat cock along Summer’s tongue and into her mouth. She began to swallow and gasp as he continued sliding inch after inch forward. His hooves clenched and unclenched as the red-hot interior heated his member and the pretty Kirin’s strange throat choked and grasped around him.

She’d swallowed more than half of him, drool pouring from her mouth as she looked up at him, when she finally managed to take a breath through her cute little nose.

Yak grinned down at her, knowing she’d be able to take more from him now that she’d found her breath… “Well my dear… I did promise you a throat swab.” He grinned, beginning to pump his hips forward, sliding more of his thick cock down her grasping throat.

Four other Kirin mares had stopped to watch the pair, as Yak Hoofteau face-fucked the smaller Summer Flare, driving his massive earth-pony stallionhood down her throat with thrust after thrust, bulging out the Kirin’s throat with both his flare and his medial ring as he slid more than 11 inches of his meat into her twisting esophagus.

NSFW PIC OCCURS HERE (delete space): derpibooru.org/ 1895899

Yak looked about as more Kirin gathered to watch with placid expressions. He wondered if they had never seen a stallion last for so long, pumping with such intensity with thrust after thrust, making Summer Flare spill steaming saliva from her lips in long thick strands. He grinned at all of them, feeling very much like the alpha male explorer that he was, before starting to pound with more intensity, his heavy balls slapping against the underside of her chin as he hilted again and again.

“Fuck! Fuck!” Yak grunted, his hips bucking involuntarily as he felt his flare widened in the Kirin’s throat, lodging it in place. “I’m cumming!”

He clenched his eyes, jetting spurt after spurt of heavy, thick ropes of cum, splattering down into the Kirin’s belly filling her with his hot seed. He pumped blast after blast, before finally feeling his erection soften with a small, final trickle.

With an obscene squelch, he slid his tired, fat cock from Summer’s mouth, his huge dripping pink flare popping out of her mouth, scraping some of her teeth before hanging limply between his legs dripping with his and Summer’s fluids. She slumped weakly to the ground, panting as his semen poured from her lips. Yak looked up from the dominated, exhausted girl to survey many of the village Kirin gathered about them.

Since he’d last looked at them, all the Kirin females had turned away from him, their rears facing toward him. He was confused for a moment, until he saw what he assumed, from earlier observations, to be a married pair of Kirin. The male very deliberately put a hoof on his wife’s rear, turning her around so that she her plot was also facing toward him.

His mouth dropping open in dawning realization, Yak barely noticed as Summer Flare got to her hooves and turned around as well, backing up toward him.

He swallowed heavily.

Yak Hoofteau’s Expedition Log Day 8 -

I am removing all earlier pages of my log - no other pony must learn of the Kirin people… for reasons I cannot disclose, and which have nothing to do with me not wanting to share. I will need to leave for civilization as soon as I regain the ability to walk… I have been heavily weakened by the previous 4 day’s activities, which were non-stop.

I have decided to keep the location and nature of the Kirin village a secret, at least until I am able to return next summer.

I can only hope that Kirin and pony are not biologically compatible… Celestia help me and my child support payments if they are.

Author's Note

LIKE/FAV/COMMENT if you enjoyed!

I wrote this super fast, a fun relief from heavier, harder writing I've been doing.

I had to convince myself I can still clopfic in the comments. I've been working on bigger fics and collabs, and realized it had been SUPER long since I ever wrote a true shorty.

Forgive me for not going into the incredible, ultra-raunchy, entire Kirin village x one earth-pony sex scene. You'll just need to use your imaginations for that. At least you got a nice, sloppy Kirin BJ, right?

Clops runs away before being lynched by crowd.