The light of the moon illuminated the dark alleys of Ponyville. The crooning of the crickets was interrupted by a pair unicorns galloping fiercely. Starlight looked at every corner of every street. Rarity followed her, holding her worried tears as much as she could. It was already two in the morning and they hadn’t heard from Twilight since two days ago.
Twilight’s heart was shattered. She’d not panicked and overreacted as she always does when something wrong happens. She was just… gone. She wasn’t herself, even her eyes had lost their color. None of her friends had ever seen her so bad.
It all started three days ago, when Celestia invited her to a private tea party. Moved by the gesture, Twilight was going to give her a gift – of course it was a book – to remember all the time they spent together as student and teacher . But when Twilight came back, Starlight saw a totally different mare. A while later, she received a letter from Celestia asking about Twilight’s condition. The princess said that she saw her turn alarmingly pale when she introduced her to her new protégé.
Starlight felt a little relief knowing that Celestia had not rejected Twilight’s gift. She’d just taken another unicorn under her wing. But that relief disappeared faster than a cupcake at the mercy of Pinkie when Starlight remembered the intricate processes of thought typical of Twilight Sparkle. That Celestia gave the position of star pupil to another pony had destroyed Twilight’s heart in countless pieces.
“I see a light!” said Rainbow as she scanned the ground from the sky for Twilight’s whereabouts. “It’s Berry Punch’s pub.”
Praying to Celestia in silence, Starlight hurried to the bar. Rainbow swooped down and opened the door. And there was the princess of friendship, sitting alone at the bar with a couple of empty wine bottles in front of her. Her only company was the worried look of Berry Punch, the waitress and owner of the establishment.
“Twilight, thank Celestia you’re here!” said Rarity as she ran to Twilight to give her a hug, but she stopped when she saw Twilight’s face.
It was a mixture of sadness and joy with tears flowing from her reddened eyes, but with a hiccup that made her look cheerful. Her eyes were shaking in every direction at the same time her head was spinning more than the blades of a mill. Her coat was covered by things that Starlight didn’t want to know what they were and a stench that even Spike’s feet couldn’t match. A bottle of wine floated around her shredded mane, wrapped in a purple glow that lit up and turned off to the rhythm of the neon on the pub’s door.
“Friends!” Twilight tried to get up from the chair, but she ended up kissing the floor. She got up with a happy hic and zigzagged towards Starlight. “Spike! You’re so big already!” She put a hoof around Starlight’s neck and laughed fiercely. Rainbow and Rarity exchanged worried looks.
“I’m very proud of you, Spike. One of… o-one of… of… – Hic! – One of these days you will be a great yak, Spike. I’m so proud of you,” said Twilight as she stroked Starlight’s marshmallow cheeks.
“Twilight, I’m Starlight, the pony that lives with you.”
“Shut up, Spike.” Twilight stepped out of Starlight’s side and tripped right in front of Rainbow, who hoisted one of Twilight’s hooves around her neck too. “Hey, – Hic! – Rainbow, when you’re not around, these applesuckers,” Twilight violently swung a hoof towards Starlight and Rarity, “Hic! They call you, Dashie.”
Twilight threw herself to the ground where she exploded with laughter, kicking her hooves and flapping her wings uncontrollably. The bottle went to her lips and she emptied it with three mouthfuls.
At the same time the bottle floated next to the other seven on the bar, Twilight began to cry.
“She replaced me! Hic! She replaced me like a tissue. Like a purple and big and square and… purple.” Twilight stopped her tantrum and stood still, examining the room as if she had never been here before. “Whaaa?”
“That does it!” Rarity stomped a hoof. “Twilight, we’re going to take you to the castle and you’re going to take a cold shower to get rid of that dirty drunkenness. If it was ice cream I would understand, but this, Twilight, this is the lowest a princess could fall.”
Twilight stood up and gave the girls that classic, drunken look. “Wait a second there! We are in my house and here I make the rules. First: who are you and why do you have my Cutie Mark? Second: stop drinking because I’m seeing you double. Third: I’m not drunk, – Hic! – I’m very drunk.”
Once again, Twilight collapsed like a ragdoll. Rainbow and Rarity exchanged sighs and helped Twilight get up while Starlight paid for the eight bottles of wine that Twilight had taken. Somepony sure has stolen the greater-endurance-to-alcohol position from Applejack.
With Rarity pushing Twilight on one side and Rainbow on the other, they got Twilight out of the bar. The trip to the castle wasn’t at all pleasant, much less when Twilight wanted to show that she could fly face down and with only one wing, moment when Starlight had to intervene with a paralyzing spell.
They were halfway from castle when Applejack found them.
“A little help, Applejack,” begged Rarity who couldn’t take it anymore with Twilight’s onslaughts.
“What in tarnation happened ta her!?” asked Applejack as she ran to her friends.
And again, Twilight went to the ground to keep suffering. Starlight leaned closer to her to try to comfort her. “Come on, Twilight, when we get home you can hide in a pillow fortress and cry as you always do.”
“A pillow! Yes – Hic! – that’s what she is; a pillow!” Twilight stood up, face drenched with drool, tears and wine. “What? Impressed that I called that ungrateful mare pillow? That… that… pillow!? With that flank that make you go insane, those velvety lips, wings of an angel, and those eyes that – Hic! – make the stars sigh. Yes, I called her that! A pillow! And I’m going to go there and tell her face to face what she really is!”
The faces of the ponies turned pale white when they saw Twilight disappear in a purple glow. They looked at each other as if a stampede of dragons was approaching Ponyville.
“That mare!” Rainbow shot out in a Sonic Rainboom towards Canterlot Castle.
“I’m going too!” said Starlight. “You two go find Spike, Pinkie and Fluttershy and go back to the castle.” With a nod from Applejack and Rarity, Starlight teleported to the first place that came to her mind: Celestia’s room.
Due to the protective magic spells around the castle, Starlight ended up at the entrance. The guards allowed her the entry with a smile. Starlight ran as fast as she could to Celestia’s room. Her eyes scanned their surroundings in search of Twilight or Rainbow. Turning around a corridor, she found herself face to face with the princess of the day.
“Starlight, you’ve come to visit us, how nice of you.” Celestia turned to the group of batponies behind her. “Chancellors, meet Starlight Glimmer, hero of Equestria.”
Starlight waved a nervous hoof at the compliments from the fanged chancellors, then brought her sweat-soaked face to Celestia and said with a shaking smile, “Princess, what are you doing here when you should be sleeping hours ago?”
“Luna had to go to the outskirts of Sonnambula to vanquish the dreadful sandspiders. I’m covering her tour with our night visitors.”
“All night?” muttered Starlight to herself. “Can I go with you?”
“But of course, my little pony.”
Starlight accompanied Celestia and her guests through the palace rooms. Her oversaturated heart was gradually calming down, after all, it is impossible for a unicorn to warp to a desired destination being totally drunk, even Twilight and her over powered element of magic. Surely, she’d appear in some strange place of Equestria. Starlight can find her later with a little help from Discord.
Opening the door to the throne room, Starlight felt the weight of Equestria fall on her shoulders. There, in front of the throne, was a cloud of dust where she could see a pair of blue and purple hooves wrestling. A purple glow dissipated the cloud and paralyzed Rainbow in the air.
The silhouette of Twilight changing her weight between her hooves to avoid falling from dizziness came closer to Starlight and Celestia.
“Well, well, – Hic! – well. Look at the princess of the sun being as affectionate as ever, right, Celestia? Because you’re just that affective to everypony, right, Celestia?”
If the floor wasn’t made out of marble, Starlight would bury her head in it.
Celestia smiled when she saw Twilight, but that smile faded when she saw her appearance. “Is everything all right, Twilight?”
“Of course it is.” Twilight rubbed a hoof over her face as she sniffed. “Everything is always all right for you.”
Celestia looked at Starlight, who waved a hoof in front of her neck trying to make her understand that everything will end wrong. Luckily, Celestia understood the gesture and turned to the chancellors as she sighed.
“Friends, take the opportunity to walk around the castle on your own, I will join you in a moment.”
When the batponies bowed and were about to leave, Twilight stomped her hoof hard on the floor. “No! Let them stay so they can see the kind of princess they have!”
“Twilight, what’s wrong with you?” Celestia took a few steps forward but stopped when the monstrous scent around Twilight invaded her nose. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, are you drunk!?”
“Oh, so we gonna play – Hic! – full names now? Well I can play too, Princess Celestia Belle Lueur de l’Aube von Equestria!”
Celestia’s face softened like that of a mother lulling her baby. “Oh, what have you done?”
“Yes, you pillow, what have you done?” Twilight took a tentative step forward. Her head stopped spinning to anchor in the direction of Celestia. “I will tell you what you have done, to me and to all of those foals that you have welcomed to your life. To me, to Sunset Shimmer, to… to… your other students before Sunset Shimmer. You filled our heads with dreams and hopes and then threw us away like trash!”
“You know that’s not true Twilight!” cried Celestia.
“Not true!? Not true!? So what happened to those things you told me when we were together in bed? Both exhausted after spending hours and hours without stopping – Hic!”
The guests began to exchange looks of complete shock. Starlight used a spell on Rainbow to make her appear by her side, free from Twilight’s magic.
More tears ran the corners of Twilight face. “So many nights by your side, giving you everything a little filly could give. Trying by all means to be at your height to make everything better. Receiving in my little body everything you put inside.”
Celestia felt one of the batponies faint behind her. The situation made drops of sweat ran down her neck. “Twilight you are lying to yourself. You know I would never replace you.”
“Lie!? What is a lie, Celestia? Are you ashamed of me after so many years taking advantage of my innocence? If you were a mare to look at me in the eyes back then, be a mare to look at me now, Celestia!”
“We’re not progressing, Your Highness,” Rainbow said as she used her wings to fan two batponies that had fainted.
Starlight walked next to Celestia to try to protect her. “Let’s go home, Twilight, you’re drunk.”
Twilight wiped her face again, soaked with tears. “I’m not going anywhere until she admits she replaced me, Spike.”
“Twilight, please,” begged Celestia trying to calm the purple beast.
“How dare you call yourself – Hic! – the princess of Equestria when you’re a liar who doesn’t dare to admit the things she did!”
Starlight felt how a wave of heat exploded from Celestia as her voice rose. “What did I do, Twilight Sparkle!?”
“YOU MADE ME A MARE!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.
Like a chain reaction, all the batponies fell to the ground. There was only one that the shock had left petrified, doomed to see the painful scene in front of him. Starlight knew that this was something she didn’t want to get into, so she walked away from Celestia to go to Rainbow’s side and help her readjust her jaw.
“You raised me, you took care of me, you made me a princess. But that means nothing. For you, I am nothing more than one more that passed through your bedroom.” That was all it took for the last batpony to fall. Twilight tried to take another step, but fell to the ground. “Spike, we’re leaving. We’re going to… to… get out of here, find a way to make all of Equestria stop spinning and we’re going to write a letter to Princess Celestia. But first – Hic! – I’m going to throw up.”
A bucket appeared next to Twilight where she let out the little poison that was still in her mouth. Celestia turned to see the carnage behind her and two ponies that looked like they were going to cry at any moment.
A silly smile appeared on Celestia’s face. “Batmares and gentlecolts, here concludes this improvised version of La potranca y la nube. Please, an applause for Princess Twilight for her incredible performance.”
The batponies recovered a little color after learning that they had witnessed a “play”. They slowly began to applaud, weakly, but applause after all. Celestia’s eyes went to Starlight and Rainbow in a plea of help.
Rainbow flied next to Twilight just as she pulled her face out of the bucket and said, “Thank you, you’re an excellent audience.” With another hic, she passed away with her head in the bucket.
Twilight woke up kicking her hooves after somepony tried to drill her brain. The sun’s light entered directly into her eyes making them burn stronger than the sun itself. She buried her head in the pillow beside her, but she still felt the drill against her head. In a panic attack, she opened her red, tear-filled eyes to see that what was trying to get into her head was nothing but Philomena singing La Habaneighra de Coltmen. Twilight’s entire body was so numb that she thought the flashbees had attacked her.
“I see somepony has already woke up.” What was once the sweet voice of Celestia, today Twilight’s ears believed that it was the Royal Voice through a megaphone.
Twilight kept drifting between sheets and pillows. Her ears folded, hooves and wings against her head to try to protect her senses from the outside world. She felt like her body was vanishing. “I don’t feel so good.” Twilight extended a hoof towards Celestia. “I don’t wanna go, Princess Celestia.”
Celestia giggled as she held Twilight hoof on hers. “Nopony dies of hangover, Twilight.”
“Hangover?” Twilight managed to sit on the bed, but the headache didn’t let her open her eyes. “I don’t remember anything.”
Celestia lay down next to Twilight and placed her horn against hers. Twilight’s horn was engulfed by Celestia’s golden aura and Twilight felt her body regain its natural well-being.
“Useful spell, right? Cadance invented it when… well, when she was in her high school years.”
Twilight could open her eyes at the same time that Philomena ended her song. The happy phoenix escaped through the window to fly among the clouds. Twilight, on the other hoof, tried to remember what had happened the previous day, but she hadn’t the faintest idea.
Celestia took Twilight’s face on her hoof and pulled it close to hers. “We have to talk about what happened last night, Twilight.”
“O-of course, it’s just… I don’t remember what happened,” said Twilight with an embarrassed smile.
“Oh, almost nothing; you got drunk and showed up in the middle of an important meeting to tell me everything you were holding deep inside you.”
Twilight was about to speak, but her mouth sloshed a twisted smile as her ear twitched. “I’m still sleeping, good. In a few minutes I’ll wake up and be in my pillow fortress.”
Celestia took a look at the ninety-seven pillows that Twilight had invoked with her magic the night before. “Maybe you want to check again.” But Twilight kept laughing and talking to herself. Celestia approached her and gave her a hug, wrapping Twilight’s body with her wings.
Twilight calmed down as she felt the heartbeat of her beloved mentor. She wrapped her hooves around the slender figure of Celestia. “I’m so sorry, princess.”
“Don’t be sorry, in fact, I’m the one who should apologize. I forgot how you usually put on some topics, I should have softened the fact that I have another personal student instead of telling you directly. But did you really think that because I adopted a new student, I would forget about you?”
Twilight felt as if her heart was going to deflate. She managed to put together some courage and said, “Yes… but…” Twilight let out a sigh to compose herself. “There are so many times when I fantasize we are still together, with no more concern than the next test, without having to worry about the fate of Equestria.”
“And you think I don’t? Twilight, there is not a day where I don’t catch myself dwelling in the memories of all those times that you and the others before you tested their spells and destroyed my room,” said Celestia, making Twilight blush. “But instead of drinking wine and calling everypony pillow, I give thanks for those memories that I will cherish forever in my heart. Believe me, there is no pony that can replace you, my faithful student.”
Twilight finally could smile with her heart. “I know… I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’m so sorry.”
“I already told you, you have nothing to apologize for.” Celestia got up from the bed and used her magic to make the two glasses of orange juice on the bedside table levitate to them. “Being jealous is something normal; it is in our nature. But if it happens again, promise me you’ll tell me. Unless you want me to…” Celestia pointed her eyes at the descending moon with a smile, “take extreme measures.”
Twilight let out a laugh and took a sip of the juice, just as she had done so many times when she spent the night studying here, trying to master every spell Celestia taught her. “What if I make a list about everything that makes me feel jealously? I’m sure it will be immense. I mean, how not to be jealous of that crown that touches your beautiful mane?”
Celestia rolled her eyes with a smile.
“I’m also jealous of the wind that caresses your coat, of the rain that bathes your body. Oh, I’m so jealous of that regalia that touches your neck, of those armors that touch your hooves, of the throne that touches—”
Celestia spit all the juice in her mouth and looked at Twilight horror-struck.
Twilight’s eyes became two tiny dots. “Yes because… I… I… I don’t have one, a throne I mean. A-and I’m a castle with a princess without a throne. I have a map and chairs, lots of chairs and a kitchen and… Bye!” Twilight disappeared in a purple flash.
Celestia put the juice back on the table, trying to process what had happened. But she preferred not to do it; she already had to deal with a grumpy alicorn and she has to be in her best shape for that. So she drank the juice and prepared to leave the room. When she had opened the door, her eyes met those of her reflection in the mirror. She stood still for a moment, contemplating her smiling complexion with narrowed eyes.
“I guess it’s true when they say there’s nothing hotter than the sun.”
