Author's Note

WHAAAAT? Another romance story with clop from Flamm that will have similar themes as the others but be just different enough to warrant a new story with new characters? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS.

What's great is that I will neither confirm, nor deny that some measure of events and dialogue are based on personal experience.

1. The Seeds

“Hmmm… lemme get that one, and the one right behind it, please!” the human male said whilst hunched over, having made his selection of the spinach from in front of the glass viewing pane.

The stallion behind the vegetable cart was more than happy to oblige his request with a gruff voice:

“You got it, Seth!” he stated as he reached into the confines of his cart and pulled Seth’s choices out front and center.

He then placed the two bags of spinach leaves atop his cart and weighed them.

“Alright, we’re looking at three bits-fifty this time. Larger, healthier yields around this time are coming in!” the bright-eyed vendor stallion attempted to explain the slight price increase to one of his new regulars.

Seth was not particularly phased, and remarked with a friendly smile:

“Hey, I need to eat more greens anyway. Tastes so much better here, which makes it easier.”

He happily handed over three single-bit notes and a fifty-cent coin. In the back of his mind, he was glad that the tacit one-to-one exchange rate between a dollar and a bit was established… unlike when he went to Europe a few years ago and had a bad time with that rate.

The stallion behind the cart eagerly accepted his payment and bagged up the fresh produce.

“Hah!” he said. “Well, with all you humans coming through, business is definitely on the up! Y’all keep buyin’ and I’ll keep sellin’ to ya!” he added, handing over the plastic bag.

Seth gladly took the bag and hefted it up along with the rest of his grocery loot from the last hour of shopping.

“Careful what you wish for… if they get any better than this, I’ll clean out your entire stock and piss off everyone else!”

"And careful to you, too! Eat too much of this and you'll be shitting leaves!"

Seth laughed. Hard.

"HAH! If it gets me more goddamn fiber then it's an even trade in my book!"

And with that, he started on his way as he waved back.

“Later, dude!”

“See ya next time, Seth!”

As Seth strode on his merry way, he took a deep breath of the fresh Ponyville air, one that served to cool off his lungs a smidge and provided some relief from the warmer day. Thankfully, it was nothing too hot that would merit any sunscreen for his lighter skin.

A gentle breeze further blew over him from the adjacent, seemingly endless expanse of fields, which also ruffled a few errant strands of his light-brown hair out of his chosen, neatly-combed style. His thoughts were suddenly drawn to how his hair grew fast and was a little longer than he would normally keep it. He would probably have to lose most, if not all of it when the human-equine basic training kicked off, so he wanted to treasure it while it lasted.

That’s when Seth realized that he’d been at his essentials-shopping spree for a good couple of hours by this point, and figured it was a good time to take stock of what he had versus what he needed. If there was one good thing about doing martial arts for seven years, it was some discipline and order…

And considering that he had a rather ad hoc approach to life thus far, it came as a shock to most who knew him. There were probably weirder things in the world, though.

Let’s see… got the vegetables, from Green…

Some meat from that one Griffon… damnit how the hell do I keep forgetting his name?

Vodka… because ‘fuck it’ is a perfect reason to drink this dank-ass pony grog…

New wallet, though not sure why I need it so much since payment cards don’t work here yet… it was a mighty need.

The mere mental mention of ‘card’ was enough to snap him out of his pensiveness and remember that tomorrow would be his mother’s birthday. Past-Seth was well-aware of this, and it had already been discussed with his family that he would not be able to make it back to Earth due to an overbooking of portal crossings—a consequence of an extremely affordable method of travel and only five gateways thus far between the two worlds.

Thus, everyone settled for Seth returning home for a couple of days the following week, and Seth would send over a card per the request of his mom. Mrs. Conway had an odd obsession with them for birthdays, holidays, or any other occasion for that matter... The reasoning always eluded him.

But nevertheless, he knew what his last objective for the day was: obtain a suitable birthday card because his creative side—sure as shit—was sure as shit.

Seth pursed his lips, and then drew his gaze back towards Ponyville’s bustling marketplace on a Wednesday afternoon. He huffed out, unsatisfied.

I can do better than JUST a card.

The human liked to think of himself as a somewhat-model son… though perhaps not so model in the sense that he should have a seven-figure salary and a hot wife with big tits, and multiple grandchildren by now, per his parents. Nevertheless, mom was a fan of flowers, so in his mind, a simple bouquet of the more ‘exotic’ Equestrian flora would certainly be in order.

“Flowers…” he mumbled to himself. “Fuck's sake, I passed them like… three times?”

Though he probably would’ve figured things out after an extra minute or two of deliberation, some pre-emptive salvation was always welcome in his book:

“Lookin’ fer somethin’, Seth?”

Seth smirked at the familiar youthful, southern twang and turned on his heels to find exactly who he expected.

“Hey Apple Bloom!” he greeted with a bright smile, and promptly had hooves thrown around his neck in a rather aggressive hug that had come to be expected from the young mare.

He was still getting used to the ponies needing to stand on their hind legs for this, and often that wasn’t even enough. Nevertheless, he reciprocated in kind and held her tightly for a moment before he separated from her.

“Well, now that you mention it…” Seth put forth, but quickly rolled his eyes as he saw in Bloom’s that she was not paying the slightest bit of attention. “...ahem!”

She shook her head once to wipe away her daydream, but quickly followed up with an expert, joking inflection of her voice that she honed specifically for Seth over his tenure here:

“Whoops! Heh, sorry ‘bout that. Guess I’m just lost in those deep blue eyes of yers…”

She tossed in an allusive wink to boot, and Seth gestured harshly with a single hand towards her.

“Okay you are way too young for me to banter with like that, so I’m gonna just let that slide... again,” he stated firstly.

He didn’t want a visit from the pony version of Chris Hanson.

“But in all seriousness, yeah, it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow and I wanna send her a card and some flowers through PortalMail tonight. Know anywhere I can get a decent bouquet? Preferably something a little on the exotic side?” he asked.

Apple Bloom’s eyes lit up brightly and she bounced once in place.

“Do I!” she exclaimed. “One of the girls’ and my best friends specializes in more exotic flowers. Her name’s Schneeblume.”

She then gestured back towards the market.

“Head back into town and take the third left. Second house on the right—you’ll know it when ya see it!”

Seth shot fake incredulity at her, but it was physically impossible to not smile at her exuberance.

“You sure about that? I’m taking a big risk here, Bloom…” he added with mock importance.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, but her reassurance was all he needed.

“Trust me, Seth… she’ll have exactly what you need.”

He shrugged, fully convinced, then let his smile return to his face.

“Well alright then! I’ll head over there right now. So, hey—thanks a lot for the direction!” he said, and tousled Apple Bloom’s mane, which offset her bow, much to her chagrin.

Still, she beamed back up at him and Seth imparted another side-hung for her troubles.

“Anytime!” she replied, then quickly continued when Seth turned to take his leave:

“Oh hey! By the way! Seth!”

“Yeah?” he called back over his shoulder and turned to face her as he kept walking away.

“Keep the light stubble on yer face!” she hinted with a deep, suggestive wink. “It looks really nice!”

Seth chuckled whilst shaking his head, but still halfheartedly scolded her in return:

“Damnit, ‘Bloom, I’m too old for you! Stop hitting on me—I don’t want a visit from your sister in the middle of the night to break my kneecaps!”

“No promises~!”

“UGH!”

Seth started back towards the town center in following Apple Bloom’s direction, and all the while busied his mind with wondering what he should get for his darling mother. She was partial to the lavender color, or really, just purple in general… so perhaps there would be something different that would at least have that criteria met?

But in thinking of his mother, Seth brought his thoughts to his entire family, and how supportive they had been of his wayward journey in trying to figure out what he wanted out of life. Seth smirked when his thought train drifted to his father, who sternly but lovingly told him that he had no choice but to do something productive. He didn’t care what it was, but until that time came, it was either going to be going to school, or joining the military.

After taking a couple of years off to get some odd work experience here and there as well as earn some cash, nothing stuck with him. So, he decided to go to Community College to see if that offered any answers.

A year into that, and there was only fleeting interest in certain subjects that often had but tangential to do with one another, such as history and basic nuclear chemistry. Go figure.

The Portal had already been open for a couple of years by that point, and with it, a nascent interest between the humans and ponies had built up to an obsessive compulsion to learn as much about one another as possible. On that front, nothing but excellent words had come of the Earth-Equestria Student Exchange Program, so he almost took that avenue up. But when the military announced that it was accepting new volunteers to go through basic training and drill with their Equestrian counterparts, it was another whole opportunity.

To help form a cohesive, allied task force to further understand one another and strengthen a future inter-planetary alliance? Once the recruiter told him that, his response was ‘sign me the fuck up!’

So, here he was.

Back in reality, Seth hung that third left per Apple Bloom’s instruction.

In terms of his direction in life, he had put all his hope into his current path. The Army gave him a head start and moved him (and the surprisingly few volunteers) to Equestria to acclimate for a several-month period before basic training was to begin. Equestria had already treated him so well, but in the end, he just hoped that he would find his place within these new colorful boundaries of an unexplored planet…

That, or he’d be out of ideas and shit out of luck, otherwise.

At least the experience so far had been totally worth it, and if he was left with nothing more than when he started, he hoped to be able to say that the memories were spectacular.

“Okay… second house on the…” he stopped immediately once his prize was within sight. His eyes widened considerably.

“Ah. That’s what ‘Bloom meant.”

As Seth got a closer look, the second house on the right of this lovely, quaint street so close to the market district was quite literally the epitome of a flora farm right in the front. Prefacing what seemed like a standard, garden variety white house with a door front and center and accompanied by two windows flanking either side… was the entire garden that he figured was where all the ‘business’ was taken care of.

A white, painted fence surrounded the front yard, and posts were erected at specific points along the perimeter which led to the construction of a skeleton overhang. An innumerable number of vines climbed up these very posts and crisscrossed one another to form an entire roof of flowers… flowers of all colors and types that seemed like they should not even go together. They grew upon one another naturally, though clearly set in such a way to make them appear as such.

A technicolor awning. Seth had seen the concept of Equestrian ‘magic’ first hand via unicorns, but this in and of itself was magical as well.

A sudden feeling of being under-dressed for such beauty diffused through him. By force of habit, he smoothed out his blood-red t-shirt, wiped his jeans of anything that might’ve made him at all less-presentable, and proceeded forward towards the open gate.

The side of the open post proudly displayed ‘OPEN’ in what looked like German script, which he regarded as a nice, elegant touch.

Seth passed through the gate posts and into (and under) the literal flower awning. He could not refrain from staring… though perhaps that was the whole point of it. Specific pathways of neatly trimmed, emerald-green grass were defined as walkways, but on either side of them sat perfect phalanxes of planted flowers; hundreds of them! Every single one of them was for sale, per the strategically-placed price tags, but he could not detect a hint of a blemish on any of the arrangements. They were all perfectly grown, perfectly manicured to suit any need. Only a master of their art and a touch so loving and tender could have produced such order in beauty.

Around and above him, on the supporting posts, vines crawled their way up and displayed their creations proudly, as well as letting in only a few golden rays of the sun above. As he had seen from outside, different types of flowers had interwoven with each other in an intimate embrace of floral majesty that called to him. Especially so when, on one of the posts to his right, there was a bright purple and white tulip that stared him in the face beckoning him over with an ethereal finger.

He was suddenly reminded of that one trippy garden scene from Alice in Wonderland. The only difference was that he was definitely not dropping acid like she probably was, because these flowers sure as hell weren't telling him to learn shit from them.

Seth spared a look over both his shoulders and—upon seeing nopony there to help him at the moment—decided to fancy a look for himself. He strolled up to the flower that so captured his attention and brought his face up close and personal. Never had he been one to appreciate beauty in the form of a floral arrangements so much. Sure, he enjoyed them, and enjoyed giving them to the occasional girlfriend that he had, but never had he been captured by one himself.

This is gorgeous…

He drew the middle knuckle of his right index finger up to one of the petals, and it was indeed real and healthy. This would be perfect for his mom… or, at least the color would be!

A soft, foreign-accented voice suddenly flowed over his ears like a gentle waterfall from behind:

“Hallo!”

Seth perked up and swiveled on his heels to meet this ‘flower mare,’ and what first greeted him was a pair of bright, beaming, lavender eyes that locked straight onto his own blues. Her coat was a gorgeous, porcelain white that nearly blinded him from how the sun above struck her at such an angle through the vines, but further brought more attention to her eyes… and that straight, jet-black mane that fell over the sides of her face and flowed down the back of her neck.

And that little bit of ‘floof’ on her chest was adorable—something that he was always fond of with ponies, mares especially. The cherry on top was that her face had trace amounts of dirt and mud that she likely hadn’t noticed before… Seth wasn’t sure why, but it added to her sudden allure. Also, her bright-white teeth were perfect.

Hail Hygiene.

And in putting together everything he was taking in with the mare in front of him, Seth quickly realized that he was staring at her… certainly a bit longer than what would’ve been deemed appropriate by any societal standards.

But he felt his heart flutter in his chest.

Oh no… not now, goddamnit.

Regardless, he forced that down and cleared his throat. He returned the greeting in earnest and genuine eagerness:

“Uhhh… Hi!” he said, and quickly spat out the next words that came to his mind to save face:

“I’m uhh… I’m looking for some… flowers!”

The mare before him smiled brightly and gazed around at their surroundings. The combined smell of dozens of flower-types was hypnotizing, and that’s what he internally tried to blame for his borderline sperg response.

“Well… it appears you’re in the right place!” she joked and added a little giggle of her own that brought a familiar lightness to Seth’s diaphragm area.

He could tell right away that her accent was German. Not a shred of doubt.

Not you too, butterflies. You stop that. Stop that right now!

He stood up straight and smiled.

“I take it then that you’re Miss Schneeblume?”

The mare cocked her head to the right with that inquisitive look that nearly gave Seth a heart attack from a straight cuteness injection.

“I am… do I know you?” she inquired.

“I was referred to you by my friend Apple Bloom,” he said, then added with a joking inflection. “She told me that you’d have exactly what I needed when it came to flowers…”

Schneeblume’s face brightened up once more, and with a knowing smirk, she rolled her eyes.

“Ah, Apple Bloom… she and the Crusaders really need to stop giving me so much credit sometimes and giving me a reputation that I don’t even know I have…” she mused.

Ah, the Crusader trio. Seth knew them well. He was then was quick to point out their immediate surroundings.

“You sure about that? This… all of this is fucking incredible!” he said, and immediately slapped a couple fingers to his mouth when he let his oft-use of profanity slip through.

His feelings were one-hundred percent genuine—this really was incredible.

Great… so much for first impressions.

Thankfully for him, Schnee averted her gaze and giggled heartily, hoof to muzzle. Her cheeks colored ever so slightly, which brought an assload of relief to Seth’s own chest.

“Please excuse my language…” he added, but Schnee was quick to dismiss his apology.

“That’s quite alright! I’ve had a lot of praise given to me for my displays but never any with… that level of conviction,” she giggled again.

She beamed up at him, her perfect teeth on display.

“But thank you, really, for your kind words. It’s always lovely to hear from a bystander’s perspective…”

And at that moment, Schnee caught herself with what seemed like a realization:

“I don’t believe I caught your name, Mister…”

“Seth,” the human answered with his own smile, more than happy to formally introduce himself to the beautiful mare.

“Seth Conway. Nice to meet you, Miss Schneeblume,” he added, and knelt down to properly be able to extend his right hand to the mare.

Schneeblume blushed at the gesture and placed her right hoof into his… and upon closing his grip on her, he noticed that instead of coat and hoof as he had experienced many times, he felt cold, hard ceramic in his hold. A quick glance downward indeed showed him something that he hadn’t noticed the first time around:

Her leg, from just below the ‘elbow’ to her hoof, was an entirely ceramic and metal prosthetic. A perfect mirror of her left hoof, which was clearly still organic.

This time, Seth was quick to not react to her hoof, and after a gentle grip and shake, he released her and righted his posture. However, he was human… and as a result, many questions remained. Namely, when and how did that happen?

Of course, it was none of his business… and there were more pressing matters to attend to, which Schneeblume was thankfully much better at putting them back on track with much less gawking like on Seth’s part.

“A pleasure to meet you as well, Seth! And please, no need for the formality at all. ‘Schneeblume’ or ‘Schnee’ will do just fine,” she replied with a smile that Seth had grown quite comfortable with over the past couple of moments.

Even more so, she lowered her eyelids a smidge, which threw him for a loop.

Wait… did she just flirt with me?

No. Stop reading into shit. Get your flowers before you embarrass yourself further…

“Sounds good, Schnee!” he said. “But yes, I am looking for some flowers. It’s mom’s birthday tomorrow and she’s in love with the color purple and its likeness. It's an obsession, really, but who am I to judge?”

Schnee glanced away and adopted a rather pensive look, and she brought her ceramic hoof to her chin.

“Hmmm…” she hummed. “Birthday flowers for mom… purple…” she thought out loud, then turned back to Seth:

“Are you looking for a specific number? A bouquet? A specific type?”

Seth shook his head.

“Nope! Whatever looks the best and most beautiful. Mom deserves the best so whatever looks the best is what I’ll go for.”

Schnee smirked up at him.

“In that case, we’ve got a lot of breathing room! A nice bouquet of various flowers should do nicely, but we’ll pick them just right, starting with this!” she said, and trot her way past Seth to the very flower he was eyeing up a few moments earlier.

She picked it right from the vine with her mouth, then held it in the crook of her left hoof whilst looking back at Seth.

“We can pick as we go. Walk with me?” Schnee asked. Her right ear was cocked a little higher than her left at the questioning inflection.

Seth could never say no to that face.

“Absolutely!” and he quickly fell into step right beside her.

Schnee led the way into the first row of flowers, where the color purple was most prominent out of various types.

“If I may…” Schneeblume began whilst examining two different types of flowers in front of her. “...did you just come through the Portal?”

Seth responded casually whilst watching Schnee through her through process:

“Yeah, but I’ve been here in Ponyville for about a month or so, actually. Guess you could consider that ‘just’ coming through the Portal, I suppose?”

As much as he hated himself for staring, he couldn’t help but notice how lithe and ‘fit’ Schnee’s figure was. Especially her haunches… which seemed quite muscular for just a mare who was doing some flower tending. Either these flowers required a shit-tonne of love and care, or her workout routine was killer.

And if it was the latter, he needed to get on that to keep what semblance of shape he had maintained from Krav Maga. That only begged the question of when it was socially appropriate to ask someone you just met for their workout routine?

Because that would just be an admission that he was ‘mirin’… which he totally was.

“Hmmm…” Schnee hummed again, and then picked a specific flower and added it to the crook of her hoof.

“I see! How do you like it here so far?” Schnee asked.

That Germanic twang of hers was really growing on him.

“I love it here!” Seth answered genuinely, putting of all the lovely experiences he’s had thus far in his short time in Equestria into his response.

“Everyone—erm, everypony, rather, is so nice here, which was a huge surprise considering how different we look and sometimes act…

“...Humans and ponies that is,” he clarified.

Schneeblume smiled back at him before she led him onward to another awning post that had lots more purple on it.

And she nodded in agreement.

“Ja, I must say that the… integration? Well, integration of sorts, I suppose, has gone lot more smoothly than I expected.”

Schnee wondered aloud whilst glancing back at him over her shoulder:

“Perhaps our species have much more in common than we don’t?”

Seth shrugged.

“I’d like to think so. Though I’ll leave the politics of it all to the politicians and just enjoy the ride while I’m here…” he replied, then quickly followed up with a bit of a probing gamble:

“I know this may sound a bit rude… but judging by your accent, it does not seem you’re from ‘here’ either, so perhaps we have a bit in common ourselves…”

Schneeblume chuckled as she settled on another flower, adding it to the collection with gentle reverence as—in Seth’s odd opinion—General Grievous would add a lightsaber.

“Not at all! I asked you, so I think it’s only fair, ja?” she teased with a lopsided smile over her shoulder.

“But you’d be right! I’m indeed not from Equestria, though I’ve been here for a little less than five years.”

She brought yet another flower, one that looked like a lilac rose, to her muzzle and took a gentle whiff. She then exhaled and relaxed her posture in a way that reflected with a fondness in her follow-up:

“It’s home all the same, to me.”

Schneeblume bade Seth to follow her further, and he duly kept pace behind her. Being the very definition of the man that he was, he occasionally spared a glance at her backside… which during his small tenure in Equestria, he had grown quite fond of in the fairer sex of ponies.

He had never been an ‘ass man’ back on Earth, either. It had to have been literally magic because he was dead-set in giving all his glory to a fine pair of hypno-globes.

To be fair, there weren’t exactly breasts in the traditional human sense to gawk at, so his preferences made a temporary switch.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Yonder posterior, however...

“And if I may continue asking…” Schneeblume again chanced, startling Seth from his daydream.

“...what brought you through the Portal?”

The human shrugged.

“Direction,” Seth answered straightforwardly. “Back on Earth I’d been trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, but never really found something that really ‘clicked,’ y’know?”

Schnee nodded at him, seemingly intently listening, before snatching another flower.

“Mhmm…”

“So, I joined the military because they were offering a transfer opportunity to Equestria. Sounded pretty fun so I decided to give it a go. I set out for Basic in Canterlot in a few months.”

Schnee’s right ear perked up.

“Oh?” she asked. “Well I’m sure you still have some time to figure things out… how old are you?”

“Twenty-two,” Seth said.

“Psh…” Schnee scoffed playfully.

“Ja, you’ve got plenty of time. I just got lucky a few years ago with what I’m doing now at twenty-six. You’ll find your purpose and direction when you’re meant to, I’m sure,” she added.

Seth was more than able to agree with that, but his words died on his tongue when he caught a glance at her cutie mark, which was some red flower with an emerald-green stem that was wrapped elegantly around…

Wait… is that a potato masher?

Seth blinked. And blinked again.

That’s not a potato masher… that’s a damn stick grenade.

Fucking… what?! These ass tattoos are weird, man.

Seth shook his mind of the thought—it left an innumerable amount of questions were left in its wake, exactly zero of them appropriate—and decided to ask another question of his own:

“Yeah, that’s the hope… but what about you? With how expertly you’ve been maintaining all of this...” Seth gestured with both hands to their surroundings.

“...this is the work of a master! You probably found your calling when you were a kid!”

The pretty mare loosed a lighthearted chuckle and another blush to boot.

“Not quite… but thank you for all the kind words, Liebling. Perhaps your ‘purpose’ is making mares’ faces all rosy,” Schneeblume teased.

Seth rallied in his mind… and was not so blind to let that clear-as-day flirting go unnoticed. Further seeing that she was eating up the (genuine) praise he lavished on her, Seth decided to press his luck further, and prodded her ‘defenses’ once more:

“Oh really? Then just what was a friendly, pretty mare such as yourself doing before you found your calling with flowers?”

Schnee had finished placing another two flowers into the crook of her hoof when she paused for a moment. She stared ahead for another couple of seconds before angling her gaze back at Seth—he immediately noticed that the natural gleam that her lavender eyes radiated was suddenly no longer there.

For the briefest moments, they were completely hollow.

“I…” she hesitated.

Seth suddenly felt all the confidence wilt away within him. Every single butterfly in his stomach was just blown out of the sky by an anti-aircraft cannon, courtesy of him asking, clearly, too personal of a question. He went into full damage-control mode behind his calm exterior, but his ability to walk back his previous question was stymied by Schneeblume’s next, simple words.

“I… traveled a bit after secondary. Went to Prance for four years,” she said with what appeared to be some more internal deliberation, from Seth’s standpoint.

He saw the telltale signs of fighting for appropriate words.

Schnee turned back towards a patch of flowers on the ground to snag two more, then promptly about-faced with that erstwhile radiant visage.

“But then I went back home to Alemaneia for a little bit and after that, I needed a change of pace, really. Equestria was always said to have been the land of opportunity and direction, so, like you, I thought I’d give it a try!”

Seth smiled warmly at the mare before him, and awkwardly placed his hands in his pockets. Internally, there was a massive hurrah for possibly salvaging a shit situation.

“Guess you were right then—we do have more in common,” he chanced again.

And this time, Schneeblume grinned back up at him from behind the veil of her jet-black bangs. Her blush had returned.

“So it seems,” she mused in her native tongue and pawed at the grass beneath her ceramic hoof.

“Gesundheit,” Seth replied with utmost seriousness.

And apparently that caught the poor mare by surprise, if she slapping her hoof to her muzzle to stifle a powerful chortle was anything to go by. She also nearly lost her hold on the bouquet she was putting together, and Seth beamed inwardly.

“Thanks for that one,” she reflected with no small measure of hilarity.

“Well,” Seth then brought them back to the better parts of their previous conversation. “From the looks of all of this, and how highly Apple Bloom and her friends speak of you, it seems like you’ve definitely found your direction here. A perfect fit,” he said.

And his mind had something else to silently tack onto that:

Which means there’s hope for YOU if your inner autismo doesn’t get you killed.

Schnee lowered her head under the weight of his praise and blushed again, unable to contain another giggle. She herself had a look around at her own creation and simply came back with:

“Heh… So it seems,” she repeated her previous, native words. Seth made a mental note to look that up later.

She tilted her head toward another direction.

“This way,” Schnee directed, and whilst slipping past Seth, drew the length of her tail over his thigh to further pull him along.

Seth may have been oblivious, but even he noticed that.

Dude, she totally just molested your leg with her tail. The ponies have been a lot more physical but none of them did THAT.

Well, there were those two other mares that were totally into you that did the same thing. You’re just retarded.

Third time’s the charm, you better go for this, dude...

“Right behind you!” he said, and once again fell right into step with the porcelain-coated mare.

“Und…” Schnee hummed out with her right hoof tentatively outstretched. She hovered over a couple of different flower types, but all were varying degrees of purple.

She decided to swipe all of them.

“Let’s just add all of these, since it’d be a crime to separate them,” she said.

She then glanced up at Seth and shot him a playful wink with an open-mouthed smile.

“Don’t worry… I won’t charge you extra for those.”

Seth was genuinely touched at that gesture… though he was probably a little biased since he fancied this mare already from when they barely met however many minutes ago. Nevertheless, his own feelings on Schnee’s generosity aside, he also noticed that wink she gave him… along with that extra swish of her tail.

If the latter even meant anything, of course… in his completely scientific opinion, Seth had some moderate certainty that Schnee was possibly into him as he was into her. He drove himself to no small amount of internal deliberation as to whether any of her most minute actions directed at him were suddenly all signals of some kind.

That, or he was probably just retarded or autistic. Possibly some combination of the both considering how much of his days he would waste on the internet back on Earth.

“Thank you very much, Schnee… but really, it’s not necessary. I have no problem paying any extra for this masterpiece of a tailored bouquet you’re putting together,” Seth insisted.

His insistence fell flat on Alemaneian will of steel, as Schneeblume merely brushed him off.

“And I insist otherwise, Seth,” she said. “Besides…”

And then she meekly smirked up at him.

“Consider it thanks for a little bit of nice conversation.”

A moment of silence ensued while their eyes were still firmly locked onto one another’s face… which led to a seemingly mutual realization that they were staring. Well, at least that’s what Seth told himself when he eventually averted his eyes elsewhere. Schneeblume did the same… but in that moment she waved him after her.

“Well, I think fourteen flowers will do just nicely for a birthday arrangement,” Schnee mused out loud, and after some sleight of hoof, wrapped the entire bundle appropriately in some plastic-wrap that was on a roll on one of the awnings.

With some crinkling and the addition of a very purple bow to seal it all tightly, Schnee handed the completed bouquet to Seth for his inspection.

“What do you think?” she asked, smiling with anticipation.

Seth held the finished bouquet in both of his hands and brought it up to his nose for a smell. The crinkling of the fresh plastic faded away and instead his entire senses were taken up by the very smell that was emitted by all ten flowers. He was no stranger to flowers, naturally. He lived in a rather lush area of his country back on Earth. However, much like most things on the new planet of Equis, and now in this great nation of Equestria, the same things seemed… different.

Food tasted better. Colors… brighter.

Flowers smelt so much better.

And the mere fourteen flowers in front of him… the smell was so powerful that when he took that first whiff, his eyes shut on their own accord. He initially smelt a strong hit of lavender, but this quickly melted away into the sea of… purple smells.

He never knew that a color could smell so good. What a time to be alive. Mom would love it.

Seth opened his eyes and beamed down at Schnee.

“It’s perfect!”

Schneeblume returned his smile with a face-spanning one of her own and bounced twice on all four hooves.

“Oh wunderbar!” she exclaimed with a squee that nearly made Seth suffer a massive hemorrhagic stroke.

“I’m so happy to hear that, Seth!”

The human added:

“And the best part is that my mom will absolutely love this! Thank you so much!”

Schnee further retreated behind her mane but that proud smile never waned. Nevertheless, now that he was more than satisfied with the product, it was time to move to something a little more pertinent since he had taken up more than a fair share of this lovely mare’s time.

“What do I owe you?” he asked whilst reaching back for his wallet.

Schneeblume squinted whilst she counted with her right hoof the flowers in Seth’s hand. He could see her mumbling something to herself for a moment before she came back with a definitive:

“Small bouquet. Healthy mix of common to super-rare flowers. Let’s call it twenty bits, even.”

She then tentatively angled her face away, keeping her gaze fixated on the tall human before her.

“Is that fair?”

Seth playfully huffed.

“You tell me, Miss Schnee, master of the floral arts! What’s your product and your time worth to you?” he said, which earned another lighthearted giggle out of the mare…

...internally though, he wasn’t sure why he defaulted to those words for praise because he damn-near wanted to hurl at his (self-proclaimed) piss-poor attempts at buttering this mare up.

Schnee cleared her throat, then offered a warm, cheek-to-cheek smirk.

“Twenty bits it is, then…”

Seth had absolutely no hesitation in reaching into his billfold and handing over a twenty-bit note.

“Worth every penny.”

Schnee gingerly swiped the bill from his hand via her mouth and stored it in a cash pocket of her gardening pouch.

She turned back with a bright smile.

“Danke sehr! Want a receipt?”

Seth shook his head.

“Nah, I think I’m good. Thank you again, Schnee!”

Schnee smiled and blew one of her bangs out of her face.

“More than happy to help, Seth. Thank you for the business!”

And at this point, Seth found himself in that position. He had the product beautifully wrapped in his hands. He had exchanged currency with Schnee for said product, and an even trade had been agreed upon. The transaction was over. Done. Which meant that Seth had little business left on her property and ‘storefront,’ as it were.

Which, by extension, meant that every fraction of a second that he kept taking in Schnee’s inviting, lavender eyes was a fraction of a second longer than it was appropriate to be standing there still. At the spontaneous crossroads of a series of firsts in Equestria, the human was presented with two options:

He could either bid the lovely mare goodbye and take his leave since no more transactions needed to be made, as per a normal goddamn person in an economy. Or alternatively, go for broke and inquire on the Alemaneian mare’s lunch plans for the weekend, and if she would even be interested in accompanying him.

Time slowed to a crawl in his head, and his conscience had some choice words for him:

I swear to god, man… you clearly like this girl. If you DON’T ask this girl out right goddamn now, I will never, EVER forgive you.

Ask her RIGHT NOW, or I will make you look back on this moment years down the line and have you asking yourself ‘what if’ at three in the morning.

JUST. DO IT.

MAKE. YOUR DREAMS. COME TRUE.

“Absolutely. I’ll definitely be back for all my floral needs… Oh, by the way, Schnee?” Seth finally voiced after a couple of seconds in the real world.

Schneeblume cocked her head to the left. Her welcoming smile never left her face.

“Ja?”

Seth took a deep breath and—forcing down his urge to pivot on his feet awkwardly—decided to just be out with it and be genuine with his desires.

Because that always worked in every situation. Honesty was always a virtue.

Right?

“I was wondering if umm…”

Out with it, cunt! Don’t you dare even think about pussyfootin’ now!

If you bitch out, you’re double gay.

“...if you have any time in your—your busy schedule, I’m sure—would you like to have lunch this weekend?”

Seth witnessed Schnee’s eyes widen… almost comically so. The shock and unexpectedness could be read from those lavender pools, down to her now slightly-slackened mouth, to the tentative raising of a single hoof. Her cheeks colored profusely through her pale coat.

No response was forthcoming over the next whole second and a half, and after such an eternity, Seth felt the need to clarify his position:

“To take you out! I’d love to take you out, I mean…” he immediately added.

There could be no ambiguity with his question now. But that same, stunned look remained on Schneeblume’s face. Obviously, he struck out and he just needed to wait for the rejection, which was totally fine. Human and pony relationships still weren’t THAT common, and he couldn’t blame anyone for not really wanting to ford that river just yet. He was surprised he himself was so willing, in hindsight.

It’s not like this would ruin his week, or even his day if Schnee came right out and flatly said—

“Ja!”

Seth blinked out of his mental stupor.

“Wait, what?”

Schneeblume had the brightest smile he had seen today, and she nodded vehemently.

“Yes! I’d love to! Does this Saturday work for you?”

It was Seth’s turn to be stunned.

Holy shit… you actually did it. Absolute madman.

“Y-Yes! Absolutely! It definitely does!” Seth finally forced himself to respond, though he had a genuinely proud smirk on his mug.

A glimmering-faced Schnee danced on her hooves for a moment and circled once in place.

“Come by at noon? We can walk into town together…” Schnee shyly suggested.

Seth nodded once with a bright smile. This truly had been the land of firsts for him.

“You got it! See you at noon on Saturday!”

And with an extra pep in his step, the human quickly took his leave after a bout of awkward smiling between the two of them… ushered out by the very hope of the next few days passing much more quickly.

As he walked away, Seth simply did not notice a brimming Schneeblume squee to herself and bounce, light on her hooves, back into her rows of flowers.