Humping it

by The Blue EM2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Button Mash, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Wind Rider, Lightning Dust, Sweetie Belle
Length: 1182

A day of work...

Button Mash has decided to get a job. But then arrives his biggest challenge in his chosen profession.

He'll just have to Hump it...

Edit: Was briefly in the Featured Box as of 28/01/2019!

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Published 2019-01-28 07:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-28 07:30:01 UTC

Humping It

It was a bright and early morning in Canterlot, a wonderful winter Saturday. In one of these homes, Button Mash stirred from his bed and opened his eyes.

“OK then World, let’s see you stop me now,” he said, with a smile as he hopped onto his feet.

After a quick and most uneventful shower, Button got dressed in his trademark brown hoodie (with a grey shirt underneath), blue pants, a pair of red and white sneakers, and applied his distinctive propeller hat to his head. He then descended the stairs to the kitchen, and popped some toast into the toaster. Not French toast, mind. He’d learned from experience that was a bad idea.

Most days he’d have already fired up his PC or JoyBoy for a quick run with a steam locomotive or hopefully take on another boss. But not today.

A loud ding informed him that his toast was ready, somehow not burned. He used to be worse at using a toaster than Sweetie Belle, and that was saying something!

Thoughts of his girlfriend then entered his mind. Although he was only 11, he had absolutely no doubt their love was real. After all, they had so much in common. Amongst these shared interests was a love of all things that moved on wheels and rails, video games (they’d already played multiplayer on Minecraft and Supreme Commander 2, in the latter case getting his butt kicked easily), or failing that, milkshakes. Mind you, he did have issues with cold things.

“Boy was that embarrasing,” he murmured.

“Talking to yourself, are we?” asked a voice. Button swung round and sure enough, standing there was his mother, Elaina.

“M-mom!” he stammered.

“Don’t worry,” she laughed. “Looking forward to today?”

“I sure am!” he replied, buttering his toast as he did so.

“At least you didn’t blow the toaster up this time,” Elaina commented.

“Who’s blowing things up?” asked a voice, that of Gibson.

“Go back to bed Gibson!” both Button and Elaina chorused.

“Stop being silly Button!” Gibson answered. “I bet you’ll mess up today.”

If that was meant to annoy Button, it had no effect. “Good morning to you too,” he replied.

Elaina stepped over to him. “Don’t let him bother you,” she said. “He’s just jealous.”

“Thanks mom.”

Elaina smiled. “No problem.”

Button stepped back a bit. “Mom, have you seen my JoyBoy anywhere?”

“It’s on the kitchen table dear,” Elaina replied. “You really need to be more careful when you put your things down; I nearly tripped over it this morning.”

Button grinned. “Thanks mom!” He then headed in the direction of the table. “And have you seen my-OW!”

Button had crashed into a chair, and immediately picked up a green backpack. “Found it!”

Elaina facepalmed. She loved Button very much, no doubt about that, but boy was he clumsy some days.

They made it through breakfast without any further accidents, and once it was concluded, Button hopped out of his chair and headed out of the door. “Bye mom!” he called.

“See you this evening!” Elaina called, as her son vanished into the distance.

Button caught the trolley to the railway station, and caught the local train to Cloudsdale. He hopped off at the station, which was a nondescript affair, and headed over to a large block of offices.

This block of offices was home to a large locker area. Button checked the board to see which locker was his, and dropped his bag in there, before heading over to the dispatch board. The board had him allocated to engine 68900. He headed through the door and found the engine parked in the yard.

The engine had a long frame, and a heavy, chunky boiler, with sloping tanks that ran as far as the front of the frames. The engine had a large cab, and a suitably large bunker. The tanks bore the text California Coast Railroad, and the number 68900, the locomotive being finished in a smart green livery.

It was based on a design of tank engine designed by Sir Nigel Gresley for the Great Northern Railway, specifically designed for shunting coaches and trucks, but could also pull heavy passenger trains or trip freights. They had been designated J50, and all of the originals had been scrapped by British Railways.

However, when the California Coast Railroad needed a new shunting locomotive, this design fitted the bill perfectly. They had constructed 50 of them, continuing the original numbering scheme for the design, which resulted in engines number from 68900 through to 68949.

Button hopped onto the footplate, when he saw who his fireman was. Or should I say firewoman.

Sweetie Belle grinned at him. “Ready to go to work Button?” she asked.

“Let’s do it!” he said with a grin. “Hopefully it won’t be too different to Train Simulator.”

“Button, you don’t use a keyboard to drive a steam engine!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “You need to move the levers to get the engine to move.”

“I can see that!” Button exclaimed. “Besides, I’ve got RailDriver!”

“Are you ready for duty, over?” asked the voice of Wind Rider over the radio.

“We’re ready to go, over,” Button replied.

“Fantastic. You need to assemble a van train ready for 844, coming in at 14:00,” the radio answered. “So you need to get to work.”

The vans were found soon enough. But there was not enough space to marshal the trucks together.

“Is this a shunting puzzle?” Button asked. “Because there’s not enough space to shunt all these trucks!”

Sweetie Belle pointed ahead. “Look!” she said.

In front of them, the rails curved downward into more sidings.

“Oh, they want us to hump-shunt them!” Button realised. “They should have just said.”

He wound the reverser forward, and opened the regulator. With a loud puff and a clank, the engine rolled forward and rumbled towards the first set of vans.

“Slow down!” Sweetie Belle cried, but it was too late. The engine slowed to 6 miles an hour, but slammed into the trucks with a bang. They began to roll down the hill, and rumbled into the siding where they smacked into another set of vans.

“Well, that’s one set down. Two more to go!”

Pushing wagons over the hump rapidly proved to be a lot of fun. The vans rolled down the hill and collided with one another, with the small van train being rapidly assembled for duty.

When 844 backed in, Lightning Dust looked back in approval. “Good job!” she called. “You’ve clearly got the knack for this sort of thing.” She sounded the whistle, and the engine pulled away into the distance.

Button went to bed that night contented and pleased. For he had had a wonderful day, and all in the company of friends.

Author's Note

Fun fact; the J50 was originally going to be the basis for Thomas the Tank Engine, but Awdry chose to use the E2 instead for some reason.

Credits

Blake Swift-Button Mash, Gibson Mash
Eileen Montgomery-Elaina Mash
Claire Corlett-Sweetie Belle
Jan Rabson-Wind Rider
Britt Irvin-Lightning Dust