Anon vs RGRE

Anon VS RGRE
B_25

What. Theeee fuck!?

I'd shake my head—if I wasn't afraid of it falling off. Opening my eyes was a pain in the ass. The few blinks consciousness afforded me revealed jack shit about my surroundings.

Grass. Trees. Sky.

I tried getting up only to realize my body enjoyed lying down more. My back was fucked—sore, in pain, jets of fire sweeping the surface of my muscles. Something felt different about me; something felt different about everything.

But I couldn't think. Thinking never did me any good anyway. My mind caught inside a haze. The woods... forest... bullshit place with grass and leaves and trees blurred beyond any recognition beyond that. Something crunched. Grass flattened nearby. A stick snapped into two from next to my head.

I could see the sun, though it became eclipsed by a softer and smaller circle of yellow. Someone... something hovered over me, standing... staying... staring...

“Who... the fuck...” I coughed blood, had my vision darken, and passed the fuck out.

Beyond the abyss, I heard the soft voice, sweet words, of a cute sounding girl.

“Oh no...”

I woke up again, which meant that I wasn't dead, and, by default, that meant that I was, too, was still alive... fuck me sideways, can't I catch a fuckin' break?

I decided not to open my eyes cause fuck you life, I deserved the tiniest break from you. But a certain excitement coursed through my veins, either from the mystery of my situation, or the secret relief of being alive, and I couldn't fall the fuck back to sleep.

I tried focusing on any other feeling from my body... only for there to be nothing. The fuck? What I thought passed for excitement was actually anything but. Something was actually coursing through my veins, and I had no idea what the fuck it was.

Fuck it. Eye-opening mode engaged.

My eyes opened. A ceiling greeted me. There was nothing special about the ceiling—it was a fuckin' ceiling made out of wood. Brown wood. Maybe not brown wood. A colour close to brown. Would now be a bad time to say I might be partially color blind?

After a few inhale and exhales, my eyes set themselves down on my body. Three things gave me a heart attack on the spot: one, the fact I'd somehow turned green; two, the fact that there was a horse... pony... mare fucking thing on my crotch; third, the fuckin’ pony was currently sucking my cock.

“What. Theee fuck!” And with that, I was back at square one. “You! Yes, you, horse thing. Stop sucking my cock!” The mare shivered at my shout, the head of my cock slipping out of her mouth. My erection arched over my stomach. “You get down from the bed right now! Don't make me get my belt... er... just get down!”

The fuckin' horse kept staring at me like I was the weird fuck. I'd never even seen a real fucking horse before, much less a pony, unless late-night strange internet searches counted. It was a small thing, the pony, yellow coat with pink hair, teal eyes above a tiny muzzle.

“U-Um!” It said. The fuckin' pony said. The fuck? “P-Please... d-d-don't be mad! I'm trying to help!” She dipped her muzzle to my crotch, licking the underside of my cock, from my base to my head, smiling all the while. “S-See? Helping!”

“You! You stay the fuck away from my cock.” I shook my head, blinking, wondering how my anger blinded me to how a pony was fucking talking to me. “Wait a fuck. Who are you?”

“Me?” The mare came down on her heavy rear, sitting between my muscular thighs, and pressing a hoof against her fluffy chest. “I'm F-Fluttershy!”

“Fluttershy?” I asked. “You're literally sucking a stranger's cock. What the hell do you have to be shy about?”

“...o-other mares.”

“There's more of you?”

Fluttershy hid behind her mane, but for whatever reason, she had one of her eyes peeking through the waterfall of pink that was her hair. “No, not me. But there are other mares that are kind of like me! We don’t look the same. Our coats are sometimes different colors. B-But we share some traits!”

I wanted to give her more shit, but really, I was too much in shit to work out whatever the fuck was happening right now. As ponies went, she seemed nice and, well, being a dick without a place to hide it seemed like a bad fuckin' idea at the time.

“Alright, so more strange speaking mares then.” I shook my head, my vision lagging behind my eyes by a second. A thick fog still clogged my head, preventing me from thinking clearly. The rest of my body was pretty much dead in terms of feeling anything. “Any guy mares around here? Like, you know, dude ponies... horses... what's the word for them?”

“Oh, stallions?”

I wanted to snap my fingers, but found I couldn't.

“Yeah, those fucks.” I coughed while trying to lift my arm, but I wasn’t able to get it up… it had felt heavier than usual. “Are they, you know, kinda like you and shit?”

“What's... shit?”

“You don't know what...” I quickly realized who I was talking to, what kind of situation I was in and, for once in my life, to stop being such a dick. “It's, uh, a synonym for 'stuff' where I'm from. Please never use it though.”

“O-Okay...”

“... so, those stallions?”

Fluttershy stared down at me, her eyes wide and glinting, both completely set on me. My heart throbbed. My throat clenched. Things suddenly became harder to see. For a mare, she was pretty, well, pretty... and self-delusion was a helluva a thing for me.

Did she like me? Not sure why I cared. But to be fair, she already had my cock in her mouth, so really, I couldn't be blamed for making an assumption or two. Maybe a bit more. Okay, loading all the fucking assumptions I could fucking fit inside my tiny brain.

“Um, mister...”

Oh shit. Did she want my name? Fuck. Should I give it to her? Was that even a good fucking idea? She had me in her home, a cottage of some sorts, and the first thing she thought to do, with me in this crippled state, was to suck my cock while I was asleep.

And that, of course, was the warning for Rule Number Four in life: never give a crazy chick your real name. Did that extend to mares? Fuck it. Crazy be crazy regardless of the form. Fuck. She was still staring at me. I was being awkward as fuck.

“Anon.” I narrowed my eyes while saying the word. “Yeah. Call me that. For everything.”

“And your special talent?”

“Pissing others off.” I blinked as I tilted my head. “Wait, no. Pissing others off and something else. Something more important than that.” I blinked again, trying to think—only for my skull to impress against my brain. “But... I... don't remember... whatever the fuck...”

Fluttershy, to her credit, didn't start to look anymore confused than she already was. To be fair, we were both weird, so I felt some leeway in being myself. She spoke again, “What does 'pissing' mean?”

Note self: stop teaching cute, innocent (sorta) mares bad words to say. Swallowing, I tried again, “Another outdated word where I'm from. Don't use it. Ever.” I shook my head barely. “Now, those other stallions?”

“Um, Anon? I understand a stallion's mind is a fragile thing, but surely, you've lived with other stallions before?”

Fuck that. I lived alone.

“Honey, I've never seen another stallion in my life.” I coughed as my throat clenched, and for a moment, I was expecting blood again. “Lone wolf is the way for me. So, other talking stallions then?”

“You're so strange, Mr. Anon.”

“You ain't the first to say that.”

Fluttershy smiled at me for whatever reason. Her gaze flicked down to my cock, and so did I, when two things pricked at my mind—one more than the other. It occurred to me my cock looked different from usual. It was bigger... longer... thicker.

What kind of pills had this bitch used to drug me in my sleep?

Even worse was that despite being sucked off by a girl—and for the first time I might add—I didn't feel a fucking thing from it. And that, of course, I called bullshit on. There was no way my first blowy was coming from a horse... and I refused to cum without being able to feel it.

“Oh... I'm sorry, Anon!”

Fluttershy's muzzle flew down at my cock, taking my full length into her tight muzzle, letting the tip of my dick poke against the back of her throat. Wanna know how I knew that? It wasn't because I felt it. No. It was because Fluttershy choked when she swallowed my length into her throat.

“Don't you dare!” I shook my head and flicked my arm at her muzzle. “Don't you dare suck me off. I'm not losing my first blowjob to a horse. No... no!” Fluttershy started bobbing her head to and from my crotch, swirling her tongue around my girth from how her cheeks puffed out. “I can't feel it! No... fuck! I'm not going to fucking cum from a girl when I can't even fuckin' feel—“

Then, when my eyes focused on my arms, the blurriness cleared away, and because of that, I could see the cylinder that was my arm... and the hoof, rather than the hand, that ended it. At once, my mind went blank, my eyes couldn't see, and I was vaguely aware of my cock shooting something.

My head, arms, and cock fell back.

“I...” Consciousness fading again... “...fuck....”

“And you found him alone?”

“...fuck...you...”

The words left me before my eyes opened. Same place, same bed, same body. Glancing over to my left, the pillow took the weight of my head as I saw, for better or worse, another mare standing next to a blurry Fluttershy, this one purple and slightly taller, radiating a prescience even I felt in my dazed state.

“You're awake?” The purple pony came over to me, and when she did, she lowered herself to her knees. Her face became clear in my gaze. Cute muzzle with violet eyes. Bangs that covered most of her forehead. A... fuckin' horn? “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you've had to go through something like this.”

The fuck? Compassion instead of a blowjob? Talk about an upgrade.

“Been through worse shit,” I grunted back as sensations slowly synergized with my consciousnesses. “I think? I... dunno. The fuck even happened to me?”

“Silly stallion, don't worry about big things like that.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek, warmth flooding up my head. “That's what mares are for. You've been through so much. Rest.”

The thing was, the mare wasn't fuckin' wrong, but at the same time, being treated like a kid, well... made me want to act like a fuckin' kid. I couldn't be blamed for it. Just who I was. Now was the time to show some shit up to this strange situation.

“Actually, I'm feeling pretty alright.” Plot twist: I wasn't feeling alright, but this mare didn't need to know that. Treat me like a kid? Well, I'll treat her like a kid. “Going to try standing now. Can you back off for a sec?”

But the mare blinked at me. Like, not a quick blink, but the slow kind of blink, one usually followed by someone whispering what the fuck? In response. She stood a little taller, keeping in place. “No way! From what happened to a poor stallion like you... that bed will be your home for a week.”

I titled my head. “The hell it will!”

“D-Don't be scared!” At once, her muzzle dropped over my face, which felt kind of strange, more so when she rubbed my cheek. “I promise to have as many mares in here as I can manage. Some of them are my friends.” She gasped as her head shot back. “They're going to be so excited to see you! Aren't you excited to seem them?”

Did I somehow end up on a children's show without anyone telling me? Fuck this shit. Time to get out of dodge.

“Honestly, shit here is kinda whack, so I'm gonna dipski before anything gets worse.” I slid my body over from underneath the covers, feeling my joints ache and my muscles cry out, which I told all to shut up, as I put my legs over the bed. “Now then, if you'll...”

I blinked. I blinked twice. I blinked three fucking times like the trope I was so used to seeing, because really, I was hoping that one of the blinks had fed me the wrong information. But it hadn't. The whackness in front of me was, indeed, very real.

“Oh no.” Finally, despite not wanting to, I lifted an arm to my face. With a gulp, I tilted my hoof, tracing its curves with my eyes. “You were supposed to be a fuckin' nightmare.” I glanced around the interior of the cottage. “All of this was supposed to be a fucking nightmare.”

The purple unicorn looked over at Fluttershy. “What's fucking?”

Fluttershy shrugged cutely.

“Whatever it means, Anon, all of this has been a terrible nightmare for you.” The purple unicorn placed a hoof on my chest, and I could hear her gasp when I flexed out of reflex. “I could hardly imagine a mare going through what you did. But a s-stallion...” Her voice choked and her eyes became watery. “...please rest. I p-promise to sleep with you.”

“Oh hell no!” I exclaimed, and, with the helpful blinding of my anger, I ignored my problems, pain, and confusion, all to place my hind hooves on the wooden floor. “I already lost my first blowjob to a mare.” I peeked over at Fluttershy from the unicorn's shoulder. “And I didn't even get to feel that. So, thanks for that!”

Fluttershy giggled and, holding a hoof against her mouth and flicking another at me in a demure manner.

“Oh no!' The unicorn pressed harder on my chest, causing me to flex all the more. “That's terrible! That's an injustice that I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, will resolve herself!” She quickly threw her hooves over my neck, letting her ass fall on top of my thighs, draping herself over me. “Such a handsome stallion forced to endure so much, and with so little aid from a mare, oh... what is the world coming to?”

“What are you...” I found myself unable to speak while Twilight's muzzle hovered in front of me. Her breath was on my lips. Her slender weight was against my own. She was soft but filled out in all the right spots. Each cheek of her ass spilled over into my crotch, causing a lump to form in my throat. “No... don't you...”

Twilight giggled cutely, in a way that, really, broke my heart in two different ways: one for how pretty a mare could be, and the other, for this crazy chick forcing herself on me. Was that the way how things were here? Were mares, back on Earth, always like this?

“Don't you t-touch... mmhmm...” I couldn't take it, I couldn't fight back, I couldn't do a thing about it. Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes while she brought her lips to mine, flicking herself over them, teasing me only for a second. She pulled away only to inch forward, taking me in a kiss. “Hmm... mhmmm.... hnnng...”

Was that it? The softness of her lips stealing and zapping any and all energy still coursing within me. I'd never kissed anyone before. My first time... and I was bewildered for all the wrong reasons. Intense. The contact was intense.

I almost kissed back.

But fuck that. I had pride.

“Hmm... Twilight, was it?” I'd pulled back from her lips and brought my muzzle to her fluffy ears. “Can you do me a favor?”

She giggled. “Anything.”

“Can you kindly fuck off?” I pushed her off my body and I heard her hooves scrape against the floor. She shook her head, staring at me as I, like the little kid I was, struggled to stand on my four new legs. “I've got shit to do and things to figure out. Y'all are whack.”

“We're whack?” Twilight gazed at me, watching, like she was fighting between helping me or letting me fall. “You're like any stallion I've ever met! How do you expect to take care of yourself without the aid of the mare?”

“Because I don't need one?” Were all these mares whack? They seemed nice enough, in their crazed, sensitive ways. But something about all of this was setting me off. I couldn't rely too heavily on these two. Most of all, I needed to figure some stuff out for myself. “Look. I don't how I got here, why I'm here, or why the fuck I'm a... fuckin' stallion of all things.”

“You mean you weren't a proper stallion before?” Fluttershy asked. “That would explain why you're so different from the rest. Maybe, if we got a few more mares to help, we could help you through social norms...”

“Sorry, but that's what a fuckin' normie would do.” I walked forward. My knees buckled with every step, but I kept myself up, learning to work on four legs opposed to the regular two. Seemed like all the bullshit in the world decided to strike me all at once, leaving me too tired and too confused to question even a fraction of it all. “I'm gonna fuck off and do my own thing.”

“But you can't!” Twilight's hoofsteps clopped alongside me until she blurred in front of me. “I won't allow it! The world's too big and scary for such a scared little stallion. Just look at yourself! You're in pain, hurt, and you haven't had a mare shave you in a few days.”

Oh fuck. Were my younger years showing itself? I lifted a hoof to my muzzle, feeling a certain scruffiness against my sole. Five o'clock shadow. No signs of a neckbeard setting in yet. Saved for the moment. Wait... how the fuck did horses grow facial hair?

“And if you were offering you help more politely, then I wouldn't have an issue with any of this.” I stumbled past her, refraining from grunting and keeping myself moving. “But I'm not going to be babied by some crazy chicks. Don't care what happens to me.” I came to the door of the cottage, using my forehooves with the handle, though I had trouble gripping it.

Man, hands were a helluva thing.

“Whatever happens, happens because I made it happen.” I finally clicked in the lock, throwing my hip against the door, which opened to the strange world that had somehow taken me. “And I don't care what mare... stallion... thing gets in my way. I'll face 'em all!”

I stepped outside into the afternoon. I could hear my name being called from over my shoulder, but I could not care less, deciding to walk forward. I traveled across a small bridge, catching my reflection in the stream below: a green horse with a black mane, soft and spiky, disheveled but neat in its own way.

I couldn't help myself. There was a smile on my muzzle, something I didn't wear often back home, where and when I still had my face. As much as I hated to admit it, the new body was a step up from what I had before—if becoming a horse could ever be considered an improvement.

Speaks wonders to what I was before.

With a shake of my head, there was no sense in delaying my journey, continuing over the bridge and down a dirt trail. I had no idea where I was going and nowhere for me to go. But I needed to wonder, to think and reflect, processing everything that had happened.

But that wasn't easy with some of the shit that I saw.

The further along the trail I went, the closer to civilization I came. Some houses and cabins were scattered away from the trail, and really, some of the shit I saw had me blinking my eyes. One example was some stallion, at least it looked like a stallion, watering a fucking garden of all things.

His coat was brown and his eyes were blue. The color of his mane was like caramel. It was long, longer than the mares I'd seen, looking thin and brushed, its femininity contrasting sharply with the solid pecs he was working with. On his side, a mare was helping him lift the watering can, kissing his cheek and whispering into his ear all the while.

“What the fuck?” I said to myself. The fresh air cleared the stuffiness out from my lungs. It felt great to be free. Free, and set into a world of absurdity. “I need to figure this shit out.” I sighed. “How the fuck did I wind up here? What the hell was I doing before everything went black?”

“I was hoping you could tell me the same thing.”

“Ack!” I jumped to my right, which really, was a bad idea—placing all my weight on my right legs sent my balance out of whack. With a hollow feeling in my stomach, I fell onto my side, feeling the dust fly up while my down slammed down. “Oooaw... fuck...”

“S-Sorry about that!” One of my eyes opened to the rays of sunlight raining over Twilight Sparkle. Once again, she'd found a way to hover over me, causing a groan to escape me. “I-I really didn't m-mean to startle you.”

“Congratulations,” I replied. “You managed to go above and beyond what you intended. This your way of forcing me back to bed?”

“What? N-No!” Twilight took a step back. “I-I mean, I would much p-prefer it if you came back, you know, for your own health and all that.” She then unleashed a heavy sigh. “But... I won't force you to do something against your will.” She dipped her muzzle, her bangs drooping over her eyes. “Y-You're the f-first stallion to ever have s-sent me away. I've... never had that happen before.”

“Get used to it, honey.” I flipped onto my stomach, pushing my forehooves against the ground. “Because I'm going to start doing that to you a whole lot more. Like right now.” I glanced up at her, smiling. “Kindly fuck off again?”

“...I still don't know what that word means.”

“It means to go off somewhere far away. "

“N-No.”

Well fuck. I hadn't exactly thought that shit out. She was still hovering over me like in the way a parent hovered over a kid, only this time, I didn't feel any malice from her presence. Firm, but kind. Wings on her sides, a horn on her head, all with the presence of someone who mattered—could I really fuck with her and get away with it?

“A-At least, not until after you've heard what I have to say.” Twilight rubbed a foreleg against another, glancing away while she talked. “So maybe, Fluttershy and I... treated you in a way you're not used to. And that was wrong... at least to you.”

I gave her a glare that she could feel.

“And to us as well!” Twilight sighed heavily. “You're different from any other stallion I've met. There's something about you not from here!” She shook her head and gazed down at me again. “So, for the moment, I'll treat you like how I would treat any other mare.” She sucked her cheek in, visibly nibbling on it from the inside. “Not that I'll like it, though. You really can be a rude one, Mr. Anon.”

“It's my special talent,” I joked back. “But... you mean it though? You'll knock this child play crap off?”

“It's not like I want to...”

“Twilight.”

“Fine!” She whined in a way unlike a princess, and that, caused a warm to flush from my chest. “I'll treat you like your own...” She swallowed. “...your own stallion.”

And then, with a nod, she offered me her own hoof. My first instinct was to slap it away, struggle on my own hooves to stand up, then walk myself into whatever town laid ahead. But I didn't. I kept still and stared at her gesture of help.

“You won't get far without my help,” Twilight said. Despite her words, there was no edge to her voice—like she was stating a fact. “Trust me. If our behavior seemed weird to you, then that town? You're... there's going to be a lot of weird things for you to see.”

I kept looking up at her, keeping silent, still listening.

“There'll be a lot worse mares than I trying to pounce on you.” Twilight giggled while nudging her hoof closer. “If they saw you without a mare… who knows what some of them would do for you.” She smirked, the sudden smugness oddly attractive on her. “Face it. Without me? You've got no clue how things work.”

“You may have me there,” I replied with a smirk of equal length, “but don't forget,
I'm petty enough to figure all that stuff out for myself. I don't need to be owing anyone anything.” My smirk grew. “Much less a crazy chick like yourself.”

“I'm not crazy!”

“This counts as borderline stalking.”

“I'm a princess. I'll exempt myself.”

“Crazy enough to change the law to fit your needs? Just a step from being a tyrant there, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight pouted. She had yet to take her hoof back. “Look. Regardless of how you may feel toward me, just know that me helping you... doesn't mean you'll owe me anything. Mare or stallion, the magic of friendship is still strong within us all.” Twilight smiled. “You need help and I'm able to give it. I tell you a few things, you tell me a few things. Maybe we'll figure this mess out.”

“And if I refuse?”

“The perks of being a princess would be beneficial to a strange stallion like yourself, no?”

I sighed. She did make a point. As much as I didn't want to admit it, facing this world all on my own, weak and confused... the odds weren't exactly stacked in my favor. But I still had my pride. Bowing over like that girly stallion was some weird shit even for me. Like hell I'd let any mare transform me into something like that.

“You pull any weird shit,” I replied as I wrapped my hoof around her own, “and I'll kill ya. Deal?”

“I don't know what that word means,” Twilight said, “but I'll agree to it for your sake.”

I let her pick me up. No, seriously. I thought the gesture was mostly symbolic, but Twilight must curl weights or something in her free time because she lifted my whole body up without visible strain. Once I was on my four legs, she circled around me, using her wings to brush the dirt from my coat. “My, you're dirty!”

She came to my muzzle. Turning her head, she licked the tip of her wing and, bringing to my cheek, wiped away a smudge. I glared at her all the while, and she backed up with a giggle, curling her wings. “Sorry about that. Old habits are hard to lose?”

“It's fine.” I walked up next to her, staring off into the town in the distance. There was a weak feeling in my stomach. “So, there a bar or something we could go to? I need to drink something while we talk.”

“You drink? Aren't you so cool!” Twilight turned around, stumbling closer against my side than I would have liked. “How about it? Do you like Sex on the Beach? A piña colada? A—“

“Whisky.”

I swore, I felt her tail flick.

“You are...” Twilight's voice became quieter as she lowered her head. Looking over, I couldn't tell if her cheeks were more purple than usual. “...such a strange stallion. Has anyone told you that?”

“Always been strange,” I said. “But never a stallion.”