Anon vs RGRE

~ VIII ~

Knock On Her Door

I couldn't explain the feeling of 'all the haunted shit that's about to go down in this bitch' as we pulled before the boutique; it was tall enough to tilt the head back to see the top of its imposing height. Colourful and exquisite.

Like a building from the fabled Canterlot.

There was nothing off about it. Nothing sinister about the building itself. Yet I couldn't fight the sensation of a haunted mansion. Well. Something became hunted because someone haunted it. Maybe it wasn't so much the building I feared, but rather, how it reflected the one who lived inside.

"You telling me those stallion horror stories on the way here isn't helping with this shit." I'd turned to my side to find it empty of companions. Over my shoulder and far back was where they stood. I turned. "What the fuck?"

Rainbow smiled as lazy mane covered her face. "W-What?"

"What?" I reeled back. "The fuck you doing back there? Isn't this the place?"

"Yup! This is... Rarity's place! Her alright.” Blushes stole her cheeks. "If we're going to sell the image of you better... then she's the one to design an outfit for it. You'll probably knock her out with it." Her eye twitched with a fall of her head. "She's always about breaking the mould. You going a contrary stallion fashion will be a dream for her."

"Sounds like a swell lady."

Rainbow deflated into a warm goo of blue. “Oh yeah she is.”

Eyebrows dropped at that. "The fuck? You got a crush?"

Her muzzle struck up. "'Course not!" And then it dropped. “Had one. Only half of one now." She sighed longingly. "Quarter if I see her again. Or maybe three quarters." Her teeth tugged her bottom lip in. "Depends on how well and how unwell it went."

My eyes flicked over to Spike, cowering behind Rainbow's back leg—barely peeking out to see me. "And how about you? Why are you keeping a safe distance from a dropped bomb?"

Spike swallowed. "You said it yourself."

I blinked. "What? That's she's a swell lady?"

"That!"

"That she's swell?"

"No!"

"That... she's a lady?"

He squealed and tucked into himself. "That! That!"

"Rainbow's a lady!"

"No she's not!"

"... there's proof if you look up!"

Her tail was pinned into her muscular plot. "Do not!"

"Gah!" Spike looked down and hugged the leg, something I wish I could do, not minding all that would hang above me. Like a true kid, though, he seemed too terrified—and too innocent—to know of his luck. "Rainbow's a mare! Rarity's a lady! Lady!"

"A lady?"

Rainbow shivered as the fluff on her chest puffed. "Proper princess, that one."

What the fuck is this bullshit?

"You're afraid of a princess?"

"She's a dashing princess!" squeaked Spike's voice.

Don't lash out. Kid's still a fucking kid. Cool yourself. Don't let the heat of that DAMN sun get to you. Think. This world is the reverse of all that you know. It's like SHE said. She she she. Who is she? What did she say?

'In confusion or righteousness, to avoid a mistake or to hurt another, instead, ask a lot of questions.'

Twilight? Did Twilight say that? Sounds like something she'd say... or someone like her at least.

"Alright." I cleared my throat and my head as I looked to my distant duo. "So what is a prince like in this world?"

Spike looked up at Rainbow, and she back and down at him and, in a matter of seconds: blew up in laughter. Striking the ground with hooves and claws as they chuckled. "Prince oh prince—get out of that dress! Prince oh prince, she'll have you home in a pinch!"

Seems like... as I expected. Fucking ponies can't give a straight answer to shit... but all this bickering... fuck... what good does it even fucking do? Shit shouldn't be this way. Fuck complication. And yet that's the way it is.

Fucking hell Twilight.

For a bitch I hated then came to like on the same day.

Why does it feel like it's been a lifetime of missing you?

I exhaled.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Enough messing around then." I nodded toward the door. "If this Rarity can whip me up an outfit to strike fear into the hearts of mares: then she's our gal. Let's get in. Get out. Then figure out what the fuck is needed next."

Rainbow and Spike, standing side by side, smiled at me. "Good luck with that."

Then they started waving happily.

"Why the fuck are y'all waving? I'm not going into that possible psycho-bitch's lair alone!"

Rainbow lowered her head. "Sorry but—"

Spike jumped in the air. "Can't do it!"

My mouth dropped. "Wha... why not?"

"May or may not trust in telling you."

"You can tell me."

"So ya can whack me where it counts? No thanks."

"Now hold the fuck on! Didn't I just stand up for you in a crowd?"

"And I respect that... but that doesn't mean you won't knock this. I know you." Rainbow's voice cracked and caught on itself. She swallowed a bit to wet her throat. "How you'll react and stuff."

Part of my boiled in this roundabout of bullshitery but, in tearing her apart, I would be doing exactly what she thought I'd do. With a roll of my eyes and a sigh, I collected myself, to... whatever this moment needed me to be.

"Listen," I started. "You and I are friends. Or as close as we can to becoming friends. I'm going to throw shit at you—at everyone. Just the kind of... whatever the fuck I am. Ain't saying that pony shit." I swallowed as well and stepped forward. "But if this is something you're serious about. I won't knock you for it—no matter how badly I'd want to."

My eyes passed over to the dragon. "Same applies to you. And I'll even withhold from calling you dickhead."

He smiled. Then frown. Trying to smile again. Not sure if to frown either.

Then my eyes passed back to the mare. "So? How about it?"

Rainbow pressed her lips together, looking to the side, blushing, stepping in place. With a heavy exhale, her shoulders dropped, and she looked up at me. "Rarity... last time. B-Broke... my heart."

My eyes and mouth closed for, if they did not, I would have cried, laughing, at such a phrase. Dunno why it would even be funny. Something about it was hilarious on the instinct. Yet, on breaking it down, a sensitive mare was expressing something hurting her... and it made me want to laugh.

Fuuuuuck meeeee.

"Go on." Rainbow groaned. "I know you've got a wisecrack about it."

That reality check deflated any such thing. My eyes opened to my hoof waving. "No no. No jokes—as promised." I set my hoof on the ground. "Guess it makes sense. You want yourself a proper mare." I turned to the boutique. "And they don't get more proper than Canterlot girls."

I stepped toward the door before stopping. "But... all that malicious stuff they do—"

"She's different." Rainbow wrapped her foreleg around the dragon, a pull to keep him next to her chest. "Not in every way. But the ones that count. At least for most ponies." She looked aside in shame. "It ended on bad terms with us last time."

"Say no more, coach." I glanced at the dragon. "And you?"

He smiled with a bashful expression. "There's only so much prince that I can play."

"Roleplay! Nice." I shook my head and turned back for the door. Didn't like having to go into this dungeon alone. Yet I couldn't blame either for not coming. I wanted them to. Kinda needed them to. "Well. You guys find me in an hour." I shrugged. "Give or take."

Spike choked. "A-And if we don't see you?"

I pondered that question by looking at the grass. "Guess I'll get to see the hype behind being a doll." I sniffed loudly. "Nothing destroys masculinity like playing dress-up." I stepped forward and, curving a foreleg before the door, came to rap on it. "Hello! Anyone home? Told I could find a Miss Rarity here?"

Poised hoofsteps were muffled behind the door.

And scampering ones were loud behind me.

Am I fucked?