I Didn't Mean to Marry Scootaloo
B_25
Don't panic.
That's step number one. Don't panic. Don't think. Don't feel. Don't do anything. They can smell your thoughts and see your feelings. They're dangerous creatures that will kill you the second they know you're scared. Keep calm, Spike. Get yourself through this.
“Can you pass the butter, Spike?”
Uh-oh. They're looking at me. Both of them. Two mares. Just mares. Nice mares. You love them both—you love them both for different reasons. Keep those reasons in mind when you speak, and don't let them onto your fear. Keep calm and smile on.
“O-Of course.” I gulped, lifting the plate with the slab of butter on it. “W-Would you like me to t-toast that while I'm at it?”
“Cold butter will suffice, Spike.”
“Cool,” I replied as my voice failed. “Very cool.”
Nothing.
“Spike?”
“Huh? Y-Yeah?”
“The butter?”
I blinked. Across the wooden table, Princess Celestia herself sat on the other side, sitting tall with her head down, an eye covered by her flowing mane. Her expression was impassive and her presence could be felt across the room.
“Of course.” I held the plate forward, feeling something magical grip my claw. At once, the plate was lifted in a golden glow, floating toward its creator, all while I sat and watched. “I, uh, made the dinner myself. I hope you enjoy it.”
Celestia nodded without looking at me. “I'm sure I will.”
Something fell onto my lap. Looking down, I saw an orange wing draped over my legs, and when I looked over, I saw Scootaloo, glancing at me only for a second, giving me a smile that filled me with energy. She gently squeezed my leg.
“I helped with the cooking as well,” Scootaloo said, which caused Celestia to glance up. “So if anything is not your liking, princess, then you can place some of the blame on me.”
“Is that so?” Celestia replied. “So you don't know much about cooking, then?”
Uh-oh. Red flag.
“I, uh, w-wouldn't say that!” Scootaloo tried to save herself, but really, she was just backing herself into a corner. Celestia had her and I could feel it in the air. I wanted to speak up to save my marefriend, but knowing my mother, I couldn't muster the courage to speak even a word. “I mean I didn't know much about cooking at first! Kinda, you know, ate out... or whatever my parents cooked... stealing food late at night from Rainbow's fridge.”
“So you stole from your mentor then?” Celestia replied without any inflection in her tone. “That's the impression you're trying to make? That's the kind of mare that's dating my son?”
“... adopted son.”
Oh my... no. Alright. That was a button you were never supposed to push on Celestia. During my more... rebellious years with Celestia, I made the comment of not really being her son... and well... let's just say I couldn't hear anything for a week.
Which, in the end, saved me from having to listen to Twilight's lectures, so there was a bit of a win in that.
“And just what is that comment supposed to mean?”
Scootaloo glanced over at me for a second. Her face screamed for help, her eyes ready to cry, and for a moment, I felt my responsibility of a drakefriend kicking in. And I wasn't scared to do my part—I'd fight anyone who tried to mess with Scootaloo.
But fighting my mother? That was a fight no son could win.
“I think she's trying to pay you a compliment, mom,” I said, trying to think on my feet. “Unlike my real parents, you had to choose to take care of me. Scootaloo just wanted to make light of that fact out of respect.” I glanced over at Scoots and, at the same time, kicked her leg with my foot. “Isn't that right?”
“O-Of course!” Scootaloo tried laughing only to have her giggles fall apart. “It's totally cool for a princess to take care of a dragon's egg! Nopony has ever seen you with a stallion before, so it's nice that you still found a son and—“
I kicked Scootaloo harder in the leg.
“—and raised him to be a handsome son!” Scootaloo scooted back in her chair. She was starting to sweat. “And now he's my handsome son! No, wait!” She shook her head. “Your handsome son is now my handsome dragon.”
Scootaloo had a way with words. I mean, she had a way of destroying herself with words, but to be honest, it was just neat to see someone else other than me do that. I was tempted to apologize for the both of us, but when I had opened my mouth, Princess Celestia had started to laugh.
And to be honest, I never heard her laugh like that. It was like she was releasing something that had been pent-up inside of her. Sweet. In a way, it was sweet, seeing her laugh like no one else was in the room. She laughed so hard that her tiara slipped off her head, clinking against the floor, and rolling across the ground.
“You two are too funny!”
Thanks for the vote of confidence, mom.
“We are?” Scootaloo asked. “What was so funny?”
“It's just the way you two have reacted so far.” Princess Celestia brought a wing to her eye, flicking away a tear. “Please forgive me, Spike and Scootaloo, but I couldn't help myself from trying on a character.”
I only sighed.
“I've been waiting for so long for Spike to show me a mare that he has taken as his own.” Princess Celestia let her wing curl along her side. She gazed at us both, a long smile on her muzzle. “I've been wanting to play the overprotective mother for such a long time now.” She giggled. “I was worried I was never going to get the chance.”
“And what's that supposed to mean?!”
Scootaloo, being the pillar of support that she was, decided that now was the best time to burst out into laughter. She even flung a hoof in my direction, eyes closed and mouth opened wide, laughing in delight at my embarrassment.
Mares could be evil sometimes, let me tell ya.
“It wasn't meant to mean anything, Spike,” Celestia replied, choosing that exact moment to hide underneath her mane. “Just you wrote so much to me about Rarity, but yet, I never had her seated at my table before.”
“It's because I wasn't good enough for her back then,” I murmured. “If she saw me now...”
“Spike?”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure you should be talking about other mares in front of your marefriend?”
I gulped. Looking over at Scootaloo, I saw her forelegs crossed over her chest, muzzle dipped, eyes glaring at me. I did my best to smile and hold up my claws, and if it weren't for my mother being in the same room, I was sure Scoots would have tackled me to the floor.
She was always head first with most things. I could blame Rainbow Dash for that.
The rest of dinner was pretty uneventful.
It still kept being awkward, but we were enjoying ourselves... in a strange way. For once in my life, I kinda felt like my own dragon... taller and stronger, with a mare that I could call my own. We both had no clue what we were doing with our lives, but at the very least, we were clueless together.
And that mattered. It really did. Late night pondering ceased to be scary—not when I could cuddle a pegasus while I talked. We talked about anything and everything. What we were and what we wanted to be.
But some nights weren't so easy. Scootaloo could go on for hours about all the things she wanted to do, all the places she wanted to see, and everything she wanted to become. She'd long since stepped out of the shadow of Rainbow Dash, and for once, was standing tall in her own light.
Scootaloo wanted to become a Wonderbolt, and that goal, that aim... it gave her purpose. She needed to get strong, she needed to become stronger—everything that goal demanded gave her something to do. Unlike me, she had a path to walk on, but Scootaloo being Scootaloo, took off running.
But when it came to my ambitions? I had nothing to offer. My life had calmed down after my growth. Mares stopped calling me “hot stuff” on the street, much like Scootaloo had said it would, but at the same time, she would never stop calling me that.
“So, hot stuff, what do you plan on doing with your life?”
Heck of a combination, ain't it? Even all these months later and I still didn't have an answer to give her. I thought growing up would have changed that. New body, new personality, new perspective. That should have changed my life, but somehow, everything went back to being normal.
Ponies started to notice me less and less. I was better looking now than I was before, but since I was already taken, mares treated me like I didn't exist again. I was quite fine with that—I didn't want Scootaloo or Rainbow Dash kicking my flank.
I still did my part in the town. I did my duties at home, helped out on the Apple farm whenever I could, and trained with Rainbow Dash whenever she dragged me out of bed on a Saturday morning. But besides that, everything kept the same, and I was still just as clueless before my growth spurt.
“Could you believe what Spitfire said to me?”
Oh, crud. She was talking to me now. “I don't know. What did she say?”
“She said I wasn't training enough!” Scootaloo sat on the other side of the booth, wearing a skin-tight blue flight suit, angrily staring into the glass of her milkshake. “Said I was putting on weight too! Listen, sometimes we need to drink something to deal with the stress.”
“I agre—“
“And she's going to give me trouble with milkshakes!” Scootaloo plunged the straw past her lips, drinking the thick liquid as fast she could. When her face started to turn blue, she pulled up from the drink. “It could be worse! I could be drinking as much as Soarin—ah! Brain freeze!”
Scootaloo planted her forehead against the table, rolling about on it, all while clutching her forelegs against her skull. I wasn't quite sure what to do with the show, and like the idiot I was, patted her head gently.
“It's alright!” I replied. “I'm sure Spitfire wouldn't go over the top without a good reason. Maybe there's something important coming up?” I blinked, trying to think of what events were coming up only for none to come to mind. “Or that you're really close to hitting an improvement?”
“Improvement! Fat chance.” Scootaloo stopped rolling about, but this time, she kept her face against the wood. This caused me to quickly glance around, seeing that we were still alone inside the ice-cream shop. “Rainbow Dash was already going sonic rainboom in her sleep at his point. What do I have? Only that I finally learned how to fly like a proper pegasus.”
“Hey! Don't give yourself that.” I stopped patting her head like an idiot, and instead, allowed my claws to stroke down her mane. “We already talked about not being in Rainbow Dash's shadow. This here? This is your story.”
“Spike, not this rant again.”
“Too bad!” I felt my claws pass through some of the knots in her mane, and though I didn't admit it, I enjoyed how the strands of her hair felt between my talons. “Everypony has already heard of Rainbow's story. They already know about her head start in flying. Like it or not, you can't copy that, no matter how hard you try.”
“And that's supposed to help me?”
“I'll pour this milkshake over your head if you mumble at me again.”
She kept silent and still after that.
“Listen, Scoots, I've been there before... trying to be somepony else never works out well in the end.” I could feel myself swallowing, glancing away, even though Scootaloo couldn't see my face. “You gotta focus on the things only you can bring to the table.”
“And what the heck would that be?”
“Your ability to inspire others,” I replied. “Also your approachability.”
Scootaloo lifted her muzzle from the table. She gazed up at me with an expression of dismay. “How'd you figure that?”
Now was the time to choose my words carefully. “The thing about Rainbow Dash's story... it's supposed to amaze you. When you see her walk by, your jaw is supposed to drop. She wants her name to be heard and screamed. That's part of the reason why the Wonderbolts have increased in popularity.”
“That won't be happening when I get in... if I get in...”
“C'mon! Lose that loser talk.” I continued stroking her mane and, feeling slightly more confident, brought my claw to her cheek, cupping it while I held it up. “The problem with Rainbow Dash is that she's nearly incomparable. She's too high up on the chart. For the fillies and colts looking up to her... the distance in-between may cause to them to give up.”
Scootaloo chuckled as she glanced down. “Ain't that the truth.”
I shook my head and held her even higher. “But that's the difference between the two of you! Where most would give up after looking up to Rainbow... their hope becomes refilled by looking at you.” I chuckled, using my thumb to wipe the fur on her cheek. “At least, that's what you did for me.”
Finally, finally her eyes lifted again. They settled one me, fragile but wide, waiting for me to say something. My heart hurt and my stomach felt hollow. How could someone so great and beautiful ever rely on a prep speech coming from me?
“You didn't learn how to fly until later in life,” I continued, trying to inflect my voice with excitement. “You were behind everyone else. You were smaller than everyone else. You were—“
“These negatives better have a positive real fast, Spike.”
“—but you never let any of that stop you! Again and again, from how small your wings were, to having to catch up on years of training. What was your response? What did you say to everyone and everything that said you wouldn't be able to join the Wonderbolts?”
“Shove off!”
“Thatta girl!” Scootaloo's muzzle lifted from my claw. With just a few words, she was able to hold herself up once more. “Unlike Rainbow Dash, who had a boost from the start, all you had was defect after defect. And what did you do? You showed that willpower, alongside determination, could help you overcome most hurdles that life threw at you!”
“Ha! Ain't that the truth!” Scootaloo fell back in her seat, crossing her hooves over her chest, all while she smirked down at the table. “Like heck I'm going to let small things like that get in my way. What was I even stressing about in the first place?”
There we go. She was back.
“You're inspiring in your own way, Scootaloo,” I continued on. “While Rainbow Dash is supposed to boost the image of the Wonderbolts, you show to all the colts and fillies that, no matter what may be going on in their lives, there's still a chance they can make it—so long as they try.”
Scootaloo rewarded me for my speech by throwing her forehooves onto the table, arching over it, and taking my mouth against her own. The soft fur of her lips rubbed and flicked against the scales of my own. All I could taste was the leftover chocolate from the milkshake that she had failed to wipe away.
That was my secret in life. It didn't matter the pony or the problem, so long as they told it to me, I could usually find the answer or, at the very least, a positive spin to spur them into action. But when it came to me? I had no answers to give, because, for the most part, I was empty and without issues.
I could feel every part of me wanting to break, from how my arms trembled and my legs begging to buckle, but I kept strong all the same, dipping my chest against the grass. The field before me was green, vast, and empty.
At least, it was supposed to be.
“You two bang yet?”
“Ack!” My claws slid out from under me, and my face crashed against the ground, my tongue testing and tasting dirt. Big surprise: it tasted bad. “Uck... Rainbow Dash?” I rolled my head, gazing up at the blue mare from the grass. “What gives?”
“Your arms, apparently.” Rainbow Dash flicked me a smirk. “You won't get any results from overworking yourself. Chillax, take a break.” She sat down next to me, using a hoof to lift the shades from her eyes. “So what's the deal? You two in bed together or what?”
“Good morning to you as well.” My face rolled back into the dirt. “And how's your morning going?”
“C'mon! Don't give me that.” Something soft rolled over my head and lifted into the air, another hoof pressing against my chest. “You two are big enough now. Sex shouldn't be a scary word... at least to you now, hot stuff.”
I didn't even try to fight her. She helped me off the ground, having me sit on the ground next to her. “And it's not.”
“Wait!” Rainbow Dash yelped as she flicked her muzzle to me. “So you two have done it then?”
“N-No!” I exclaimed. “The most we've done is cuddled! Nothing more.”
“...oh.”
“Oh? What do you mean, oh!?” Now it was my turn to glare at her. “That's a good place to be in a relationship, isn't it? Cuddling in the same bed? We only got used to kissing each other a few months ago!”
“Guess you got me there,” Rainbow Dash said. She then sighed, flicking the shades back over her eyes, and in one swift movement, let her back fall against the ground. “You're making good progress... for a wimp at least.”
“Below the waist, Rainbow.” I decided to lie back as well, letting my gaze settle on the clear blue sky above, focusing on nothing. An occasional breeze swept across my scales. “Below the waist. You know words can hurt, right?”
“They can also spur you to toss some back,” Rainbow replied from next to me. “You don't get much respect by asking others to back down! You gotta fight back! Give 'em everything ya got.”
“Do you think I'm good enough for Scootaloo?”
I could feel her blink without seeing it for myself. “What now?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, that was out of the blue.”
“Kinda was... but don't sweat it?” Rainbow Dash rolled slightly closer to me, her fur brushing against my scales. “What even prompted something like that anyway?”
“I... dunno...” I sighed into the breeze, letting my eyes drift close. “You were the one that brought us together. You pushed for us being a thing, and well... did it turn out the way you hoped it would??” I rolled my head to the right, opening my eyes. “The relationship, I mean.”
“That's... not really my place to say.” Rainbow Dash slid the shades off her muzzle, staring at me with her rose colored eyes. “That's your relationship. Why would you care what I think anyway?”
I really didn't have an answer for her. It didn't even need to be her I was saying all of this to. My mind was a muddled mess, and I needed somepony to help me clear it... but I could never find anyone to talk to.
Most of the girls wouldn't understand and, as much as I loved Twilight, she would have just analyzed the problem to death.
“Guess I don't have much of a reason,” I finally said. “It just felt like you're the best mare to come to with something like this. You've... always seemed like you knew what you're doing. And you treat Scootaloo like she was your own sister.” I sighed, rolling my head again, staring back at the empty sky. “You probably know what's best for you. And I'm not sure I'm it.”
Her hoof nudged at my shoulder, but I couldn't bear myself to look at her. “And what kind of a dump has got you thinking that way?”
“I... I dunno!” I exclaimed. “I thought our relationship was a good idea at first! I really did. We were both changing, we were improving for the better... we even swore to explore the horizon together!” I sighed. “I get how weak that sounds, but we said it during one of our more sensitive moments... and that was a promise I intended on keeping!”
“So what this got to do with you and Scoots?”
“Look at me, Rainbow.” I gestured a hoof down my body. “I'm wasting away! Six months together, and what have I done? Nothing! I help around, I listen to everypony, and then I go and do my own thing.” I shook my head. “No dreams or goals or anything like that. Pretty much anchored at this point.”
I heard Rainbow giggled from next to me. “Meanwhile, your marefriend is on track to becoming a Wonderbolt of all things. You... hold that against her?”
“Of course not!” I shook my head. “Couldn't be more proud for her. Scootaloo... she's going to go off and do great things. I can feel that. I want to help her with that.” I exhaled heavily. “But we're supposed to be going somewhere great together, and unlike her... I don't have a destination in mind.”
“Wait, that's it?”
“That not a good enough reason for you?”
“Nah, I get it.” I saw Rainbow Dash rising out of the corner of my eye. “Scootaloo tryna fly forward while you're cool with staying in place.” She arched her back, kinda the way a cat does, popping the kinks that'd developed in her back. “For some ponies, that'd be an issue.” She stood straight again, tossing a glance my way. “For others, it isn't. But you won't get the answer from me or yourself.”
I sighed. “So I gotta take it to the source?”
She smiled. “Take it to the source.”
I lazed about on doing anything, because other than being aimless, I was also a coward.
The strange thing was that I wasn't a coward when it came to most things—I only became one to the things that mattered to me. Two weeks had passed since Rainbow Dash had given me her speech. I knew what I had to do, but I was too scared to do it.
What good could have come from it anyway? Either Scootaloo would want to break up with me, and I'd be back at square one, or she would be cool with me being a loser, and I'd still be a loser, so nothing really different from square one.
I tried not doing that for a while. The main issue was figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, right? If I had some aim... something to endeavor for, then maybe, just maybe, I could do good on my original promise.
I spent nights lying awake at night, thinking about what I wanted out of life, searching myself for any answers to my problem... only to come up empty again and again. How was it that a dragon, the greediest of all creatures to ever live, wanted nothing out of life?
Okay, that wasn't true. I did want things out of life. I wanted to be with my friends. Working on the farm... helping around the library... those were the only things I really wanted to do with my life. Anything else was just a bonus. I'd never gone out looking for anything—the girls brought me on plenty of adventures without me having to do a thing.
And then it hit me, late one night. I'd never forget what I realized. All my life, no matter the context or the situation, it was always something or someone else that started everything. I'd react, but I'd never start.
And that, really, was who I am. I was willing to be whatever my friends needed me to do. I could do whatever they asked for me. I was also ready, but never searching, for whatever the next adventure would be.
Scootaloo was the kind of mare to go looking for greatness.
I was the kind of dragon to cheer from afar.
I went to see her the next day.
In hindsight, maybe a restaurant wasn't the best place to resolve our issues.
But we were hungry, so... that was that. Scootaloo and I had stolen a booth near the back of the building, where we could be left alone. It was quiet enough for us to actually hear each other. I made sure to have a candle lit in the middle of the table before we arrived.
It was a nice touch. I was proud of that.
“Gotta say, it's been a while since we've done date night.” Scootaloo slid into the seat on the opposite side, flicking her mane to the side. “Geeze. Did I really just say that? We're starting to sound like Twilight and all them.”
I opened a mouth and poked a talon into my maw. “Uck! Don't even go there!”
We proceeded to laugh like the kids we were.
“But really though,” Scootaloo began, “we'll never be like that, right? Old and uncool and trying too hard... that'll never be us.” She clasped her hooves together. “Tell me that, Spike! Tell me we'll never become uncool no matter how old we get!”
“I'm not sure about that one.”
“Spike!”
“Joking! Joking.” I chuckled and shook my head. “I can assure you we'll never be like Twilight if that helps. That's a level of uncool we couldn't hit even if we tried.” A shiver coursed through me, and at once, I was tempted to scan the restaurant to make sure she wasn't here. “But... I'm sure we'll keep this way for a long time.” I looked back at her. “At least I will.”
Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “The heck is that—“
“Your milkshakes and onion rings.” We both stopped talking. Glancing to our right, the waiter bowed over our table, levitating our orders onto the wood. He bowed and turned upon finishing, leaving us without another word.
I made a grab for my milkshake, drinking from the straw to buy myself. Dang, it! Why didn't I think of a plan? I should have had something ready to say to get me out of this? What was I supposed to say anyway? Crud, this was a bad idea.
“You seriously don't think that milkshake is going to save you, right?”
I pulled an inch away from the straw. “If anything could save me, it'd be a milkshake.”
My humor didn't even get me a giggle.
“You've been acting strange, dude.” Scootaloo crossed her hooves, leaning back into her seat. “You've been acting strange for a while now. What gives, Spike? Weren't we supposed to open about everything?”
I sighed, closing my eyes. “You got me there. I've... been holding back on you for a while.”
“It's not another mare, is it?” she said. “I'll beat you up if it's another mare.”
“It's not another mare,” I said, reopening my eyes. “But it is about you. Do you remember that promise we made?”
“The one about no solo eating tacos?”
“No... the other one.”
“Missing leg days earns you a kick underneath the tail?”
“I'm talking about the one we made after our first kiss.” I was one heck of a coward, because every second I was staring at Scootaloo, at her magenta eyes and her pink mane, seeing how it draped so cutely over her right eyes. “We were on a cloud, remember?”
A smile swept over Scootaloo's muzzle, the anger slowly fading from her expression. “Yeah, of course I remember that, dork.” She glanced down at the table. “But what I wanna know is why that memory has you sour.”
I looked down as well. Why wasn't this easier? Why oh why was I so much of a coward? Why couldn't I just say the things I needed to say, express the things that needed to be express, and let the situation take care of itself? I was supposed to be a dragon... and right now, I was being anything but.
Something soft caressed my claw. I glanced up, just enough to see the hoof over my wrist, rubbing my arm gently. We kept like that for a few seconds, just enough for me to take a few breathes... for me to clear my mind.
“I'm not going to give you a hard time, Spike,” I heard her voice from afar, but I was too much of a chicken. “You remember that promise too, don't ya? We'd help each other through anything, no matter how much it could hurt the other.” Finally, finally I couldn't take my cowardice anymore. I looked up, feeling my eyes burn around the corners, looking over at my Scootaloo. “You're... you were there... you listened to me in a way nopony else had.”
I swallowed, doing my best not to cry.
“You got me in a way no other pony could understand,” Scootaloo said, leaving her hoof on my arm. “And I got you in the same way. It's... it's always been us vs them for a while now.” She shook her own head, pulling back her hoof to wipe her eyes. “But if we can't trust each other, Spike, then... what's the point? You're my ace card. I can't do all this alone.”
Now it was my time to shake my head. “That's where you're wrong. Scootaloo, you're perfect. You know what you wanna do, and you've got the willpower to do it.” I nodded. “I'll always be there for you no matter what happens.” I bit my bottom lip. “But I don't want to be the one that holds you back from greatness.”
“Hold me back?” Scootaloo dropped the hoof from her eye. “How in Equestria could you ever do something like that?”
“Because I don't want anything outta of life!” I exclaimed, finally admitting what took me so long to confess to myself. “I really tried to. I thought about everything I wanted out of life, and... and there wasn't anything I wanted.”
Scootaloo blinked. “W-Wait, that's it?”
I lost my breathe. “Don't you get it? Our goal was to explore the horizon together! I want nothing but greatness for you. But when it comes to me? There's nothing I want that's not with you and the girls.” I glanced down. “I won't be pushing myself as much as you are.”
I heard the shuffling of hooves, and before I could even look up, I felt something coming next to me. My face raised up and into her muzzle, feeling it brush against my cheek. At once, her hooves glided over my shoulders, draping over my back. “Spike, you... silly boy.”
I couldn't understand what was happening, and in that second, I didn't care. I felt her muzzle nuzzle against my cheek, comforting me by her softness, feeling her warmth wash over me. No words came out of me. My face fell down and against her fluffy chest.
“I don't care what you wanna do with your life,” Scootaloo said from over my head. “That's always been your call. But... if you make me go down this path without you... I... I don't think I could make it alone.” Her muzzle rubbed against the top of my head. She held me tightly against her chest. “Talking to you has made everything about my life better. Please, Spike, please don't leave me.”
Everything became perfect at once. My mind was cleared and my heart no longer hurt. I could feel every strand of her fur caressing against my scales. She was small, soft, and so full of love. And now that I didn't want to lose her...
I wanted to be with her forever.
“Scootaloo?”
“Y-Yeah, Spike?”
“Will you marry me?”
