My Little Pony: Friendship is Madness

Broken.
Shattered.
Consciousness.
Everything is... Cold. Where... Am I?
Hard to think... Thoughts of my own...
Who... Am I?
Why... Why can't I see?

Ѧαʏвɛ тяʏ σρɛиιиɢ ʏσʋя ɛʏɛƨ, ∂ʋммʏ

Open my... Eyes? Sure... Why not?
Huh. I... Didn't actually think that was going to work...

I find myself surrounded by white and grey. The... Sky?... Is grey, the ground is white, and there's bit of white falling down to the ground.

Ɯɛ иɛɛ∂ тσ ғιи∂ ƨσмɛ ғσям σғ cιʌιℓιʓαтισи
Ɩ ℓικɛ тнɛ Ємριяɛ!

ωнσ κиσωƨ, Ƨσмвяα мιɢнт'ʌɛ ғιиαℓℓʏ κιcκɛ∂ тнɛ вʋcκɛт
...мσʌɛ...

Deciding to see if I might be able to find some other people, I begin following my nose through the cold, desolate wasteland I'd somehow found myself in.

I don't know how long I walked. It could've been hours, weeks, maybe even years. But, after a time, I found myself staring at an armoured...

Ƨκʏвσяи

...Skyborn. His armor was a blueish-green hue, seeming to be forged from some sort of crystal. For that matter, the Skyborn himself seemed to be made out of crystal. It took me a few moments, but I realized that he could see me too. But... He hadn't reacted yet... Odd.

Ѳн, нɛ'ƨ яɛαcтιиɢ αℓℓ яιɢнт, вʋт ιт ιƨ κιи∂α нαя∂ ғσя α ƨզʋιƨнʏ тσ αcт αи∂ яɛαcт αт тнɛ ƨρɛɛ∂ƨ тнαт αи Δ.Ɩ. ƨρɛℓℓмαтяιϰ cαи ғʋиcтισи.

Ħɛяɛ... ℓɛммɛ α∂ʝʋƨт тнɛ ғяαмɛяαтɛ...

Things seemed to speed up slightly. I could see his eyes widening as he drew his sword. I think he spoke, but I couldn't understand the language he was speaking...

Δʋ∂ισ ραяƨιиɢ мαтяιϰ ιƨ ƨcяαмвℓɛ∂
ωɛ cαи'т ∂ιғғɛяɛитιαтɛ ƨρɛɛcн ғяσм ɛиʌιяσимɛитαℓ иσιƨɛ яιɢнт иσω

The Skyborn raised his blade in warning and started to move towards me, ever so cautiously. As he reached arms-length, he reached for something on his belt...

ИѲ. ƜЄ ƜƖ˩˩ ИѲƬ βЄ ƬЯΔƤƤЄƉ ƜƖƬĦƖИ ΔИѲƬĦЄЯ ƆΔǤЄ.

I slapped the sword out of his hand, and kicked him in the opposite direction. He got up, tapped a spot on his mouthguard and spoke into it. He then went into a fighting stance, evidently prepared to take me down. I simply gazed at him, stance neutral, waiting for him to act.

The Skyborn lunged forwards, summoning his wings to propel him faster than most people could blink. I slapped him aside. He danced around me, striking at apparent chinks in my defenses, as I redirected his blows with a hand, arm, or staff.

As this continued, with him striking and me parrying, I noticed that he was beginning to slow, as though he was becoming fatigued. The odd thing, though, was that I wasn't feeling anything of the sort. A bit of stiffness from the cold, perhaps, but nothing that was slowing me down. Deciding that I'd have to look into that later, I turned my attention to the incoming reinforcements, evidently summoned by whatever in is that he'd done with him mouthguard earlier.

Иσω тнιиɢƨ αяɛ ɢɛттιиɢ ιитɛяɛƨтιиɢ...

There were ten more guards, evenly divided between Magian, Skyborn, and Gaian. The one I'd been fighting earlier retreated, joining his comrades in surrounding me. The apparent leader of the group, a white Magian with two different shades of blue hair, spoke. I still couldn't understand him.

The leader spoke again. I cocked my head in curiosity. He seemed to be repeating himself, telling me to do something?

˩αиɢʋαɢɛ ραяƨɛяƨ αяɛ ʋρ αи∂ яʋииιиɢ. αℓℓ ωɛ иɛɛ∂ иσω ιƨ ƨσмɛ ғσям σғ cαℓιвяαтισи.

"I said stand down!" Oh. That would be it. He wanted me to surrender, presumably due to my earlier behavior. Not with that wording.

"Ɩмρяσρɛя cσммαи∂ ιиρʋт," my voice was hollow, without inflection. It seemed to... Unnerve him.

"Improper what? State your name." There we go, something that actually lined up with what made sense.

"Ƭнιƨ ιƨ Ƨ.Ɔ.Δ.Ƭ. ʋиιт #325, ∂ɛƨιɢиαтισи Ƨσʋℓ Ƭяαρ." Huh. I... Didn't actually know that. Odd. Seems he found that odd as well.

"Alright... well, Soul Trap, you're going to have to come with me." Once again, I couldn't exactly comply, well, not without knowing where he stood in the command line.

"Иɛɢαтιʌɛ. Ƭнιƨ ʋиιт ∂σɛƨ иσт тακɛ σя∂ɛяƨ яɛɢαя∂ιиɢ ωнαт ιт мαʏ σя мαʏ иσт ∂σ ғяσм αиʏσиɛ вɛℓσω тнɛ Ƨσℓαя αи∂ ˩ʋиαя Ƥяιиcɛƨƨɛƨ." Well, that's certainly useful information, but it seems I'm not done talking quite yet, "Δℓтɛяиαтιʌɛℓʏ, ʏσʋ мαʏ ∂ιяɛcт тнιƨ ʋиιт тσ тнɛ cʋяяɛит яɛƨι∂ɛиcɛ σғ Ƥяιиcɛƨƨɛƨ Ɔɛℓɛƨтια αи∂ ˩ʋиα; Ƭнιƨ ʋиιт яɛզʋιяɛƨ тнαт ιиғσямαтισи тσ cσмρℓɛтɛ ιтƨ αƨƨιɢимɛит. Δℓтɛяиαтιʌɛℓʏ, ʏσʋ мαʏ ∂ιяɛcт тнιƨ тσ α ρℓαɛɛ ωнɛяɛ тнɛ ρяιиcɛƨƨɛƨ ωιℓℓ мɛɛт ωιтнιи тнɛ иɛϰт ∂ɛcα∂ɛ σя ƨσ."

He blinked, rubbed his head, and gestured for me to follow him. "Right. Well, I was gonna tell them about this anyway... I guess today's your lucky day then; the Princesses are headed to the Crystal Empire right now." This was acceptable, therefore I followed.

He led me to a dining room of some sort, and told me to wait there. so I did.

I waited. and I waited. I waited for what felt like hours, but could only have been minutes. After a time, I heard the soft rustling of slippers against carpet, and the heavy clomping of boots upon the crystal floors. The door opened, and in stepped what might very well have been the most terrifying sight to which I have ever been beholden. Two Celestians, both at the height of their power, both with command over the heavens themselves, both showing signs of being very pissed off.

The shorter blue one, whom I knew to be Luna... for some reason, stormed up to the table and grabbed me in her telekinetic aura and lifted me above the table. I blinked periodically as she rotated me in her grasp, seeming to scrutinize my form. Celestia sat at the table and watched. after a few minutes, Luna spoke, "Report, S.C.A.T. #325."

"Ƭнɛ мιƨƨισи нαƨ вɛɛи αccσмρℓιƨнɛ∂, нσωɛʌɛя, тнɛ ρяιƨσиɛяƨ ɛϰcɛɛ∂ɛ∂ тнɛ яɛƨɛяʌɛ∂ ƨтσяαɢɛ ƨραcɛ, αи∂ ιитɛɢяαтɛ∂ ιитσ тнɛ Ƥɛяƨσиαℓιтʏ Ѧαтяιϰ. Ƥяιƨσиɛяƨ нαʌɛ вɛcσмɛ ιяяɛʌɛяƨιвℓʏ ɛимɛƨнɛ∂ ωιтн тнɛ Ɔɛитяαℓ Ƥяσcɛƨƨιиɢ Ɔσяɛ. Ƭнɛ Ƥɛяƨσиαℓιтʏ Ѧαтяιϰ нαƨ αℓℓσcαтɛ∂ αℓℓ вαи∂ωι∂тн тσ ғιʌɛ ∂ιƨтιиcт ρɛяƨσиαƨ, ғσʋя σғ ωнιcн cσяяɛƨρσи∂ тσ тнɛ ρяιƨσиɛяƨ, ωнιℓɛ тнɛ fifth cσяяɛƨρσи∂ƨ тσ тнɛ вℓαиκ ƨσʋℓ ωнιcн вɛcαмɛ ℓσ∂ɢɛ∂ ωιтнιи тнɛ мαтяιϰ αт αи ɛαяℓιɛя ∂αтɛ."

Luna nodded and set me down. "Well... if what you say is accurate... Soul Trap, set A.H.R.I. to background functionality."

"βʏ ʏσʋя cσммαи∂." I blinked, as though seeing the room around me for the first time, "...Ħʋн. Ƭнαт'ƨ мιℓ∂ℓʏ ∂ιƨcσиcɛятιиɢ..." I looked around the room, really taking in the texture of the air, the feel of the souls around me. Then I turned back to Luna, wearing a shiteating grin, "'Ƨʋρ Ѧσσивɛяяʏ? Ƨʋивɛяяʏ?" My grin grew wider as Luna grew an adorable patch of vibrant purple on her cheeks, and grew even wider when Celestia slammed her face into the table.