Finding Herself

by Lunar Spice

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Drama, Original Character, Mystery
Length: 1663

"Who... am I?" After hitting her head, one pony must go through what nopony ever wants to: rediscovering herself.

"Who... am I?" After hitting her head, one pony must go through what nopony ever wants to: rediscovering herself.

She woke up without a clue as to who or where she was. Her only saving grace? The pony who found her. But that still didn't change the fact that her memories were gone.

Published 2018-12-12 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-22 18:59:45 UTC

Finding Help

"Ughh," she groaned as she opened her eyes. Everything looked really fuzzy and blurred, but at least it wasn't complete darkness. She shook her head to clear her vision but immediately realized that that was a mistake. The sudden movement felt like a railroad spike had been drilled through her brain.

"Gahhh!" She cried out, cradling her head in her hooves. She writhed on the ground, tears streaming from her clenched eyes.

All of a sudden, she felt a strange hoof - a gentle hoof - running through her mane.

"You're awake!"

It was a strange voice, one she hadn't heard before. As the pain ebbed, she cracked her eyes and got a good look at the pony standing over her.

He was an earth pony with dark, stormy fur. His mane was bright yellow, matching his eyes almost perfectly. His cutie mark showed a bolt of lightning striking the middle of a target. His eyes were kind and he looked like he could be trusted, so the pony gave a small smile.

"My name's Thunder Spear. What's yours?" The stormy pony reached down and hoisted the clueless mare to her hooves.

"I- I don't know," came the reply. The pony dipped her head, unable to look Thunder Spear in the eyes. "I don't even know what happened to me."

"There, there. Don't you worry about a thing. You can stay with me until you start remembering stuff." He started walking down a small path and gestured for the pony to follow.

As they walked down the path, she dared to ask a question: "Where are we going?"

Thunder Spear chuckled as if it was the simplest question in the world. "I live on the outskirts of Ponyville. Do you remember anything about it?"

"Nothing. When I woke up, I just felt... hollow. Like I used to be somepony, but now I'm nopony. I can't even remember my own name! How pathetic is that? I don't even know what happened to me!" She hung her head again, those tears making her vision blurry again.

Suddenly she felt Thunder Spear bring her into an embrace. Am I the kind of mare who likes hugs or not? She wondered while in the embrace, but eventually returned it, leaning into the kind stallion.

"You know..." Thunder Spear broke the hug and leaned back to take a good, long look at her. "You look kinda like one of those ponies."

"Which ponies?"

"Those... oh, what were they called...? Elements of something. You look like one of them. They're six best friends who constantly save Equestria."

She thought about this for a second, then shook her head. "I doubt that. If I was one of those Element thingies, then that means I have five best friends. But I was all alone when you found me. If I did have best friends, then they should be looking for me, but I don't see anypony running us down." She stopped walking for a second, lost in thought.

Thunder Spear glanced towards her anxiously. "Well, even if you aren't one of them, you at least have one friend, right?"

She resumed walking, keeping pace with the earth pony. "Maybe, but I don't even know you. How should I know that you're not going to stab me in the back?"

He stopped, looking her in the eyes. Golden eyes met what color are my eyes, anyway? and he solemnly stepped in front of her.

"Because, I Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

She watched him incredulously as he mimed through some strange actions. "O-okay, then. What does that mean, exactly?"

Thunder Spear resumed walking. "It just means that I can't break that promise unless I want to face the wrath of Pinkie Pie."

"But who... nevermind, forget I asked." She matched his gait and together they walked on in silence.

"How's your head doing?" Thunder Spear asked after a while.

Her hoof drifted to her forehead and felt around. "I... Well, it's not hurting anymore, but I still can't remember anything."

After a moment: "Thunder..."

He glanced over but didn't break his stride.

"...Do you think anypony's actually looking for me?"

"I'm sure that at least somepony's looking for you. But you can stay with me until that time comes. Speaking of which, here we are."

He stopped in front of a dilapidated, old shack. Cobwebs hung in the windows and the yard - if it can even be called that - was severely overgrown.

She froze, staring at this poor excuse for a house.

"I know it's not much, but it keeps the weather out and it's actually quite cozy inside. I didn't want to live any closer to Ponyville; I never really cared for the hustle and bustle of living around a bunch of other ponies. I hope you don't mind."

She shook her head as she followed Thunder Spear into his "house".

A Darkened Element

In her throne room, Celestia was pacing. One of the Elements of Harmony had faded and she was trying to keep calm. Her cake sat on her plate where she had abandoned it ages ago.

What if Equestria was threatened while this Element was faded? Celestia knew that all of the Elements had to be in perfect condition in order to work.

As it stood, Equestria was left without its best defenses.

The doors opened and in walked Luna. The princess of the night grimaced; she hated seeing her sister like this.

"Tia, tell Us thy worries," she said, draping a wing over her sister's back in an attempt to comfort her. She guided Celestia to a chair and sat her down, ready to hear whatever had distressed her.

"Luna, I am afraid that Equestria could be in grave danger," Celestia murmured, not yet ready to look in her sister's eyes.

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Sister, tell Us what being wouldst dare prey upon Equestria. We are ready to fight for Our land, should the need arise."

Celestia finally raised her eyes to meet Luna's. "If you are willing to help, then I suppose I must show you what is wrong." She rose and strode out of the throne room, not even glancing to see if her sister was following.

Down one flight of stairs, up two more, down a long corridor they walked. "We really must reorganize the castle so it it easier to move about, dear sister," Luna gasped, on the verge of panting as they reached the end of the corridor and were faced with a steep spiral staircase leading up into one of the towers.

Celestia did not respond for she was still lost in her thoughts. Still without so much as a nod in Luna's direction, she began the journey up the stairs.

When they both had finally reached the top, Celestia used her magic to push on two bricks in the wall opposite them. The wall trembled, then swung open to reveal the glass display case that housed the Elements of Harmony.

Luna peered quizzically at her sister, but, instead of asking questions, she approached the Elements. They seemed fine... until she saw the Element.

"No!"

The shout was heard throughout the castle, reverberating the room where they both stood.

"This cannot be! What has happened to her to allow this fading? Tia, We must make haste to Ponyville before it is too late!"

Celestia sighed and approached the Elements again. Even though she wasn't seeing the faded Element for the first time, it was still painful to see. "No, Lulu, we cannot. Do you not see how the Element is completely blackened? How the edges are threatening to crack? The Bearer must have completely lost her connection to it. There is nothing that can be done."

Luna spun around to face Celestia, shock and betrayal mingling in her eyes. "No! We cannot stand idly by while Equestria is left defenseless. The Element still has yet to crack, so there must still be time. If thy insist upon staying here and lamenting this loss, then We shall not stand in thy way. However, We shall make haste to Ponyville this instant for there is not a moment to lose!" She left in a huff, leaping off the balcony and taking flight into the sky while Celestia watched helplessly. As she turned to face the broken Element once again, a single tear fell from her eyes and landed right in the middle of it.

"I hope you know what you are doing, sister mine."

"Who Am I?"

Darkness.

She pricked her ears, straining to hear anything through the oppressive dark. Nothing. She was alone, with no idea where she was.

This… doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t there be ground and sky? Where is everypony?

She tried to remember what had happened to her, but came up blank. How did I get here?

Next, she tried to remember anypony she was with. Maybe a familiar face would trigger the memory of what happened. Nothing. She tried again, desperately searching her memories for family, friends, even neighbors, but came up short.

In one last desperate attempt to keep her sanity, she thought about who she was. Who she had been up to this point was just a shadow, something intangible that vanished as soon as she caught up to it.

Who am I? She thought, nearly panicking. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, when she heard something.

“…wake up…”

The voice was muddled and hard to understand, but it sounded like it was saying-

“Wake up…”

She was asleep? Well, that certainly would explain the whole nothingness, but she still couldn’t remember anything. She prayed to whatever deity looked over her that this entire thing was just a nightmare.

“Wake up!”

But how? How do I just wake up? I haven’t done this before! At least, I don’t think I have.

“Wake up!”

“Wake up!”