Discord Takes On The Universal Union

by Daddy Joe

Rating: teen
Tags: Science Fiction, Comedy, Half Life, Violence, Crossover, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death
Length: 2881

After a small portion of an interdimensional empire invades Equestria, Discord takes matters into his own claws and does his thing.

On a rather boring day, Discord lounges about while in his chaotic realm. But without warning, a large amount of bio-mechanical warships, armored soldiers, and alien robots start breaking into the realm, beginning to take siege of his home and tunneling their way into Equestria. What follows is why they shouldn't be messing with the Spirit of Chaos.

Published 2018-12-11 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-23 07:03:00 UTC

Prolouge: Time for Invasion

Although there seemed to be no hope and the end, there was that one thing that was always with Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Tirek, the gargantuan centaur, fired another high-energy laser directly into the Elements of Harmony as they levitated above him, intending to vaporize them to dust. To his dismay, the six remained untouched by his attack, causing him to step back.

"How is this possible?! You have no magic!" Tirek contradicted.

"You're wrong, Tirek! I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry within me the most powerful magic of all!" Twilight corrected.

Unifying the magic of friendship, one by one, six rainbow laser shot right back at Tirek, causing him to stumble back. He then let out a scream of defeat as his source of power began to drain from his body, shrinking to his normal size and sending him back into the pit of Tartarus where he belonged. With the magic of Equestria in the Mane Six's hooves again, they rose high into the sky and unleashed all of it with a burst of unprecedented proportions that was felt far throughout Equestria. Too far, unfortunately.

Trillions of lightyears away lied another universe. Throughout the many, this particular universe is, in fact, home to one of the most devious empires to have ever existed; The Universal Union. Unfortunately, one planet within this universe houses the overworld for the empire, and is a testament to its evil.

The planet is nearly gaseous, but millions of free-floating islands spread throughout the world are able to support the empire's metallic infrastructure and advanced technology. The sky has no definitive color or atmosphere, but more of a clear view into the nebula the surrounds the planet. Breathable air is nothing, completely absent, excluding for the native species. A single inhalation of the gases would immediately cause the unfortunate soul to cough up blood and foam until their wait for death is over.

However, on the east side of the planet, lies one of many bases of operations and surveillance. This place intertwines with the others spread across the planet, corresponding information with one another.

"Reporting to local Adverse." a masked messenger said through his radio, sitting in a control room.

His radio warbled and chittered as the message transferred to the recipient. A few seconds following the transmission, the Adverse replied telepathically, in its own form of communication.

"Probe relay detects additional activity on E-19. Propulsion is confirmed by active biotics. Distance is well reachable," the messenger replied. There was no reply from the Adverse for a few minutes, but eventually did. "Confirmed. Snapshot... Transmitting to outreaching stations."

Just like the speed of light, the presented information transferred to all stations across the planet, eventually reaching all the way to the central hub further up north. The power of the empire is most dominant here. Legions of the military are housed here, as well as the production of their weapons and assault machines, all done by machines themselves and those who are horridly enslaved. But what lies in the center of the hub is the source of pain for what other worlds have felt before their downfall, a device that allows the empire to invade the dimensions and planets; The Tunneling Entanglement Device. Soon, it will once again be used.

A short time had passed since the transmission. At the top of a spire, within the hub, holds the beginning of a meeting. This newly transferred information regarding the Equine planet has caught the attention of those who wish to expand and invest. Only one man was present in the dim-lit meeting room. He sat in silence, cupping his hands while he examined the planet that was presented on a personalized baby-blue computer screen.

"Very interesting." The Man said to himself.

The sound of shuffling came from outside the room, which prompted him to raise his head to face the automatic door. The doors to the room then opened, and in came aliens of various species, each one either wearing a blue, black, or grey suit.

The Man rose up from his seat to address the members. "Sit, gentlemen."

Once seated, The Man walked over to the side of a sixteen by twelve foot screen that was mounted on the wall. Switching it on, the information presented on the smaller screen then appeared on the corresponding. The life sustaining planet was displayed as a high-definition image taken directly from the probe, alongside with coordinates and other miscellaneous information regarding the planet.

"It is another Earth," The Man started. "The resources within are all but the same and are obtainable, but I believe this one in particular will provide a great asset."

"How? Explain to us how another Earth will provide this empire with something new and valuable." a sub-leader demanded.

"Very well. The inhabitants of this planet possess great abilities and feats. We have been monitoring the planet with great interest before hand, and have witnessed supernatural events that are caused by this wieldable power." The Man explained.

"Provide us with an example." said another sub-leader.

"Our recent probe has documented a powerful being attempting to consume the energy within the land of interest, but utterly failed due to six protectors. This energy expelled is projected to have the power of a thousand armies." The Man replied.

"Exceeding us? The Combine?!" a sub-leader asked, flabbergasted.

"Powerful armies, but that was just limited to the inhabitants. The world possess so much more. It will aid exponentially both in our technology and weapons. Plus, we can always use more natural resources for our purposes." The Man replied.

"And will we be able to invade as soon as possible?" an investor asked.

"Quite so. There is a small pocket dimension in the way, but we can utilize it as a gateway to E-19. The army will most likely face a resistance, but it will be crushed without mercy." The Man replied.

"Good. And I propose that we also enslave the inhabitants if this valuable energy is present in them. If so, we can also create and produce more powerful synthetics for the military." an investor brought up.

Everyone in the room agreed and nodded to the idea.

"All within its time." The Man said, turning the screen off.

Now, can we come to an agreement on a scheduled invasion?" an investor asked.

"We should act as soon as possible. If the inhabitants are now recovering from the recent attack on their land, then they will be more vulnerable to us." The Man proposed.

"Yesss, yess. They will s-surely be overwhelmed within a matter of hoursss." an investor added.

All the member of the meeting except the man started clamoring, all agreeing with each other. The man smirked and slowly dragged both of his hands across the table, rising to his feet. The room abruptly went silent and everyone looked up at The Man.

"Then I say that it is settled. The Universal Union will invade E-19 in a matter of days. For now, the army will prepare the soldiers, synthetics, and hurricanes while I make sure the entanglement device stays open as long as it can. Once the land of interest is under our control, we will work on adaptation, just like the others. You are all now dismissed."

Discordant Entanglement

Discord walked over to the front window of his home and just stared out, lacking any emotion. He then let out a yawn, contorting the window instead of fogging it before walking away. After pacing the living room for a few minutes, he stopped to look at the clock and sped it up an extra one-hundred hours before switching it back to the correct time.

"Hmmm." Discord groaned.

Discord continued his complaints, now pacing the living room at a rapid pace. This eventually led to him next to the couches arm, dropping down and turning into a liquid state. He dripped from the cushions and onto the floor.

"Ohhh, I'm so bored." Discord whined, his mouth lying on the floor.

With a snap of his feline claws, two identical clones of Discord spawned from behind him; one aggravated and the other nonchalant.

"Quit your whining! You whiner! Are you from Whinerville?." Dikcord said, crossing his arms.

Discord rolled his loose eye and quickly rebuilt himself to a natural state. Dikcord created a shirt that read "Whiner" and dressed Discord in it.

"There we go." Dikcord remarked.

"Hey, go easy on the draconequus." Nice Guy Discord said.

"Thanks, Nice Guy Discord. And as for you, Dikcord, I can't help it. I've never fully gotten over not using my magic for good old chaos." Discord said.

"Oh, riiight. We could clearly see that about three days ago when you betrayed your friends just to relieve the 'old chaos days'." Dikcord said, sarcastically.

"That was a moment of weakness, might I add. Besides, I am now changing a new leaf for all the better. Might as well do that now." Discord said, replacing a dead leaf in his fur with a fresh, green leaf.

"Really? Then how come I have not seen the slightest bit of concrete evidence of that. You sat back and watched the Everfree forest eat up Equestria, and, once again, betrayed your friends and joined up with Tirek." Dikcord said.

"But I at least changed my ways, y'know. I defected from him." Discord said.

"But would you defect if Tirek had never betrayed you?" Dikcord asked.

"Oh. Well, uh, you see... No more questions! Be gone, Dik!" Discord said, causing the criticizing clone to fly out through the window. "Maybe I shouldn't of brought him into this."

"Forget about Dikcord. I know he can be cynical every now and then, but he is kinda right, FYI." Nice Guy Discord said.

"I know. That's why I blew him away. I just kind of wish I could have done more, y'know." Discord began.

"More what?" Nice Guy Discord asked.

"Actually stopping that overgrown, horned monstrosity. If I wasn't so foolish, I know I would've been able to stop him from stealing the magic within Equestria." Discord admitted.

"No durr. You would pretty much be the runner up as Equestria's last hope if all four alicorn princesses and the Tree of Harmony lost their magic. That was pretty close to happening, now that I think about it more." Nice Guy Discord elaborated.

Discord thought to himself, reminiscing how his actions had their consequences and what more he can do to contribute to harmony.

"This is it. From now on, I will use my magic for good and being more.... Um... Productive! Yes. That's the word I'm looking for." Discord declared with confidence.

"Good. Very good. I hope you keep your word on it." Nice Guy Discord said.

"Of course, of course. Now if you excuse me, I believe I need to do something productive with my day." Discord said.

Discord turned to look out the window, noticing hundreds of flying ships and crafts passing through his realm.

"Huh?" Nice Guy Discord gasped, tilting his head to a ninety degree angle.

"Would you look at that. I didn't even know the parade was going by today," Discord said, taking out a pair of high-powered binoculars. "Though I will admit that they dropped in the floats variety. Just look at the designs! What is that one float supposed to be? A body modified whale that can fly?" Discord said.

"And you're concerned about the design, Mr. Spirit of Chaos?" Nice Guy Discord asked, sarcastically.

"Naaah, not really. I think I'll head over there and give them a little hello. As Applejack would say, "It's all about that southern hospitality." Discord mimicked.

Discord teleported right next to the mobilizing military without hesitation. He remained undetected for no more than a second, even before he could utter a word. A synthetic gunship redirected its flight pattern and let out an alerting roar, which also go the attention of more of the alien ships.

"Whoa-ho-ho! I'm just trying to make friendly introductions." Discord said. The gunship began to fire its mounted machine gun right at Discord, but each shot was dodged with lightning speed.

Discord then flew back to his home and entered through the chimney, where Nice Guy Discord remained.

"What's up with that thingy?" Nice Guy Discord asked.

"Get into my pocket. This may get interesting." Discord said.

"If you say so."

Nice Guy Discord leaped into Discord's skin pocket and disappeared. On the other hand, Discord began boarding up the windows and wrapping numerous amounts of chains around the front door. He could hear the flying crafts approaching his home, but he wasn't afraid at all.

"And now we wait." Discord said, arming himself with pot and pans.

With the gunship now hovering right above the house, the humming coming from the engines of the dropships became more quiet as the ship started to make its descent. A squad of Combine Soldier's wearing light blue body armor and facial masks with red visors leaped out of the cargo hold of the dropship and crowded around the door, two leaning up against the houses siding with pulse rifles readied.

The last soldier to emerge from the cargo hold was heavily armored and hauled around a heavy, disintegrative cannon. The soldier was armored so much that it was a question wether this was actually a living being or just a machine. It slowly lurked up to the door, each step emitting a thud on the grass.

"Invasive Unit TH-73; you have broken your formation. Report your vindication." a female A.I voice requested over the soldiers built-in mask radios.

"Invasive Unit TH-73 has spotted and is engaging a lone hybrid. Hybrid could pose a likely threat. Preparing to exterminate."

"Acknowlodged. Expunge and regroup on E-19 alongside Invasive Unit TH-70 through TH-90 at codename; Infestation, and sterilize."

"Copy that."

One of the two soldiers leaning up against the wall used his hand to signal the armored guard to approach the door. The armored guard lifted the cannon and slowly walked up, keeping its distance from it by twenty feet.

"Hybrid, prepare to receive mortal judgement." a soldier warned.

"Uh. No, no. Nobody is here at the moment. Please check back again another day. Even if he was here, you would need to say the secret phrase." Discord teased with an accent.

"Blow it open and let's wrap it up." the soldier directed toward the guard.

"Blow the door down? Now that would be cheating. You need to say the password before-"

Without much warning, the guard charged up its energy cannon and blew the front door to smithereens, creating a gaping hole in the front of Discord's house. The soldiers then rushed inside and aimed right at Discord, who just simply tossed his pans onto the ground.

"All right, all right, you got me. Huh. What can I say? Now, this is gonna go one or two ways. You spacemen are gonna-"

The soldiers opened fire on the draconequus. A barrage of flechette bullets tore into Discord's body, as well as the wall behind him as he stood. Discord let out a pseudo scream and flopped around on the floor, gagging with his tongue hung loose until the soldiers held their fire. An elite soldier walked up to Discord and quickly inspected him.

"Invasive, Hybrid is confirmed sterilized."

"Are you sure about that? You soldier boys really need to learn how to double-tap." Discord said, giddily, standing straight up once again.

"Negative, Negative! Hybrid is not sterilized!"

Before the soldier had a chance to shoot Discord again, the floor to the house vanished. "Shit!" The twelve soldiers and the synthetic guard dropped and fell down into the endless abyss of the chaotic realm.

"I'll come check on you guys later! Latch onto the flying cheese wedge if you get hungry!" Discord shouted down, restoring the floor to his house.

However, Discord forgot about the gunship that hovered above the roof. The gunship charged up its belly cannon for a few seconds. A blue laser came down like a motor and just obliterated the entire house into rubble, but leaving Discord unharmed. He stood with a blank expression in the middle of his mess of a home.

"Oh doody." Discord grumbled, snapping his claw. The deadly gunship was defeated, but now nothing more but a blue whale, landing behind Discord with a thud. The dropship, on the other hand, was now a giant crustacean shell that sat in the yard.

"Ouuuuaaa." the whale vocalized.

"Just stay here for now, my aquatic mammal. Now, where are those astronauts heading to?"

Discord examined the battalion as it continued to move forward into Equestria. He quickly caught on to the entry portal to the Combine world and the scattering portals that allowed entrance to the other world. And so, Discord made a quick teleportation to the Equestrian portals, zipping up all eight with eight arms, shoving the entire battalion back into their Overword and zipping that portal up. It could've been problem solved at that moment, but a great deal of Combine have already invaded Equestria.

"Well, looks like I can put some of my chaotic magic and nature to good use for once." Discord said.