It's Not What It Looks Like, I Swear
Twilight strolled into her assistant's room, a small stack of books floating within a magenta aura beside her.
"Hey, Spike, I wanted to talk to you about something. Mind coming down to the libra-"
She froze, wide-eyed.
"What."
Discord and Spike sat together on the dragon's bed, the smaller creature straddling the draconequus' body. Her assistant's eyes were comically wide, and his face was a vibrant, dark shade of purple.
Meanwhile, Discord's tongue stuck out rather adorably, one bushy eyebrow raised and his scarlet irises darting from the shocked mare to the deeply mortified dragon on top of him repeatedly.
Finally, Discord cleared his throat and spoke. "I swear this isn't what it looks like."
"...It looks like you're making out with my assistant." The alicorn said in a tone that was far more subdued than she thought was possible for herself.
Spike flushed an even deeper shade of purple, and Discord scratched at his chin. "Uh...hm. In that case, I rescind my previous statement. Can't pull the wool over your eyes, can I?"
"Oh my Celestia, Discord, no..."
"Oh, what, she's not blind, Spike. Attempting to lie more would have just insulted her intelligence."
The dragon slammed his spaded tail down onto the older creature's stomach. Discord winced slightly. "I told you we should've locked the door before we did anything!" He seethed, smoke trailing out of his nostrils.
Discord snorted. "You were the one throwing yourself at me the whole way here..."
"Not in front of Twilight you ass!" The dragon hissed.
"Can. Can you explain this? Please?" Twilight pleaded, eye twitching slightly.
Spike blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Uh, remember when I asked you if I could date? Well, uh..." He gestured towards Discord, who waved cattily and winked. "...s-surprise!"
Twilight rubbed the base of her horn, a splitting headache already forming. "How...how long has this been happening?"
Discord stroked his beard in thought. "Ah...hm...a year and some change?"
"A YEAR!?"
Spike winced. "Y-Yeah..."
"Were you ever going to tell me!?" Twilight exclaimed.
Spike held his hands up placatingly. "O-Of c-course I was...e-eventually!"
"How'd this even happen!? You and...Discord? How? Why!?"
"Oh, dear, naive Twilight..." Discord replied chidingly. "... love comes in many shapes and sizes, but no one will ever really know why or how it does. It just...wraps you in it's snare and-"
"It started when I helped him preen."
Discord frowned and blushed. "Well goodness, you didn't have to be so blunt-"
"His teeth are too uneven to properly preen his pegasus feathers so he asked me to help him and-"
"Spike, that's private! You don't just talk about preening your boyfriend in front of your parents!"
"Haha, wow, that's filthy rich coming from you! Hey Twi, didya know that when you preen the base of his wing, his goat leg shakes like a dog's?"
Twilight blushed. "Enough! Just-" The alicorn rubbed her hoof down her face. "This is...this is way too much to handle right now. I need some tea. Both of you come downstairs. We'll talk down there."
"Oh, fine." "Okay..."
The alicorn turned around stiffly and closed the door behind her.
A moment or so passed.
"She didn't say we had to come down immediately..." Discord purred suggestively, paw running down the dragon's thigh. Spike's eyes narrowed, and he promptly spread his wings and flew from on top of the draconequus.
"I think you've had enough bad ideas for today." The dragon deadpanned as he landed in front of the door and turned the knob. "Come on, before this gets any more awkward than it already is."
The chaos spirit pouted. "Killjoy."
"So...." Discord began awkwardly, before taking a sip of his tea.
"Um..." Spike spoke up as well, nervously bouncing his leg.
Twilight took a sip of her tea and sighed. "Okay, so. We should talk about this."
"Or- h-hear me out- we could just...p-pretend this n-never h-happened? E-Eh?" Spike stuttered, grinning nervously.
Twilight raised an eyebrow and her assistant wilted beneath her gaze.
"Discord? What are your...intentions, with Spike?"
The draconequus rolled his eyes and dropped his teacup, which promptly sprouted insect wings and buzzed away. "Please don't tell me you're about to give me a shovel talk. What's next, are you going to pull out a shotgun and force us to get married if I've 'defiled your little boy'?" He deadpanned.
The alicorn frowned. "Discord, I'm Spike's guardian! If you're dating him then I need to know what exactly you want from him!"
"Twilight, I'm 18, you're not my 'guardian' anymore." Spike interjected.
"Exactly. Frankly, our relationship is none of your business, Princess." Discord sneered, rolling his eyes.
Spike shot the draconequus a withering glare. "That wasn't what I meant and you know it. Shush." He hissed.
The chaos spirit winced and zipped his lips. Literally. Spike sighed and turned back to Twilight before sheepishly scratching his arm scales. "I know you're probably a bit upset I didn't tell you sooner-"
"A little bit, yes."
"-but uh...being with Discord makes me feel...h-he makes me feel like...uh...like I'm taken care of and c-cute and...u-uh..." The dragon flushed. "...I feel special. Like I'm a treasure or somethin'. And it's one of the only times in my life where I've felt that way."
Discord wiped his overly teary eyes and blew (silently, due to his zipped lips) into a comically oversized hanky. Spike rolled his eyes. "I was...afraid that if I told you, you wouldn't...wouldn't accept this. And you wouldn't let me d-date him and I just...didn't wanna lose what we had, and I didn't wanna lose you either! S-So, I hid it from you. I'm sorry..." The dragon's ear frills sagged and his eyes were downcast.
Twilight blinked. "I..."
"I-I understand if you're mad at me! It's...It was super sucky of me to hide it from you and-"
Twilight pulled him toward her in an aura of magenta and wrapped her forelegs around him. "Oh Spike...I'm so sorry..."
"...For what, exactly?" The dragon questioned.
"For making you feel like you couldn't share something like that with me! I'm your- your family! You should never feel like you need to hide something from me, especially if it makes you happy!" She pulled back to look into her assistant's eyes. "While Discord and I have our...differences, I'd never deny you something so important to you."
"I...T-Twilight, I-" The dragon let out a soft, choked sob and squeezed the mare tightly. "Thanks..."
"Hey, let me get in on this, hm?" Discord's arms wrapped around the both of them, turning the tender moment into a warm group hug.
"Hm. Now, Discord, the 'shovel talk', as you put it, will be coming after this hug. So you'd both better enjoy while you can, because I intend to make charts."
Discord and Spike's eyes snapped open and all warmth drained from their faces.
Oopsey.
Author's Note
Welp. I did the thing.
Wanna yell about this rarepair with me? Come join the Dispike Crew!
https://discord.gg/XpKnvt8