D.N.A: Damned New Administrator

by Chemtest

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Discord, Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Adventure
Length: 5945

Prince Chem, after a long revolution, is sent flying back in time.

After a six month revolution, Canterlot fell to Chem’s forces. After defeating Celestia, Chem has taken a position as a new Prince. With the Kingdom of Peoples melting into Equestria, and a quick change of laws to make males equal, everything seems to be looking up.

Until time changes.

Takes place at the same time as https://www.fimfiction.net/story/421947/wrath

Published 2018-12-11 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-03-29 02:33:24 UTC

Erasure

Three ponies fly through the skies above Canterlot, threading their way around marble spires. The sun shines down upon their coats, white, brown, and grey.

Chem laughs, “See! This was a great idea!”

Turner flips around him, smiling, “I never said it wasn’t.”

Derpy flies closer, “Perks of wings, Chem, perks of wings.”

Chem does his own twisting about, enjoying the wind flowing through his new feathers, “Makes you feel free, don't it?”

Derpy nods, “That’s why Pegasi are usually so brash.”

Chem smiles as they fly outside of Canterlot, stopping for a second just to hover.

The two others pause alongside him, as they watch the horizon. Chem grins, looking to them, “May sound odd and out of nowhere, but I’m really glad to have you two as friends. It’s helped keep the Id at bay.”

Turner raises an eyebrow, “The what?”

Chem nods, “You remember the ‘magic fuckery’ I told you turned me into a pony, yeah? Yeah, it also did something odd to me. It split my mind into three. Ego, which it kicked out. Superego, which is me. And Id, the violent one who is always vying for control. With you two, it’s been quiet.”

Derpy smiles, “Well, I’m glad to hear we’re helping you out, Chem.”

Turner nods, “You’re our friend, and we’re always going to be here to help you.”

He looks back to the horizon, “And I can only thank you two for putting up with my bullshit.” His eyes narrow slightly, “Wait, do you two see that?”

The other two look, and narrow their own eyes. Turner pauses, “Is that red lightning?”

Derpy nods, “It would appear to be so.”

Chem looks to them, “It looks to be coming this way. Should we move?”

Turner nods, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Chem tries to move to the side, only to find his body not responding, “Umm, guys, I need help.”

Turner looks at him, “What do you mean?”

Chem glances over, “My body isn’t responding.”

Derpy tries to move him, only to find that she can’t, “Yeah, you aren’t moving at all.”

Turner looks to his neck, “Your bow tie is glowing quite strongly.”

Chem looks down, only to avert his eyes from the bright glow, “Try to do something, please!”

Turner shoves himself into Chem, “You aren’t budging!”

The red lighting draws ever closer, “I picked up on that!”

Turner backs up, “Well, what do you expect us to do?!”

Chem looks back to the lightning as it gets closer and closer, “Shit. This is probably going to hurt, or possibly kill me. As my last act as Prince of Equestria, I pronounce you two Prince and Princess, congrats.”

Turner shakes his head, “You’re going to be fine, Chem!”

The lighting strikes into Chem, right at the tip of his horn. He spasms as it arcs across him. He screams, “Doesn’t fucking feel that way!”

Derpy reaches out to him, “Chem!”

But, her hoof passes through naught but thin air, as Chem is already gone.

———

It’s a dark night in the town of Ordiria. Ponies, wearing dirty rags, walk through the streets with their heads hung low as they shuffle back to their ramshackle homes.

However, out of the clear sky above, comes a red lightning bolt. It crashes into the ground, causing the nearby ponies to jump for cover.

Appearing where the lightning bolt struck is a colt. His coat is white, his mane teal, his eyes blue, and he has a red bow tie around his neck.

Ponies step closer, cautiously, until they see both his wings and horn. A stallion narrows his eyes, “It’s an alicorn!”

A mare brandishes her pitchfork, “We’ve got to get rid of it. You all remember what happened to Solaria.”

Another stallion grins, picking up a stick from the ground, “Yeah I remember. Minotaurs slaughtered them all. I had a cousin who lived there.”

The mare nods, “And we don’t want no damned Minotaur, Griffon, or Diamond Dog army appearing in Ordiria, do we? They’ll have us stringed up for producing another alicorn.”

Another steps towards him, “Yeah! Let’s feed it to a dragon!”

The first stallion shakes his head, “No, that’s too risky. We must kill him, here and now, before the others find out!”

The colt slowly reawakens as they debate about him. He looks at them, “Hello?”

The mare looks at him, “Shit, we’ve spent too long arguing! Wheat, get him!”

The grinning stallion steps closer, brandishing a sickle, “Close your eyes, alicorn, I’ll make it quick.”

The colt begins to back away, “Where am I? Who are you?”

He laughs, “You’re in Equestria, and I’m Wheat. Now, how about you stop trying to flee?”

The colt shakes his head, “How about you step away from me?”

The stallion shakes his head, “Ah, screw this.”

He charges forward with his sickle, slashing to cut the head off of the colt.

But, right before it hits the colt, it turns into nothing more than bubbles. The stallion blinks.

Something lands behind the crowd of ponies, something heavy. A booming voice speaks, “You are to step away from him immediately.”

The stallion pauses, his eyes widening. Behind him stands a tall alicorn. Blue coat, orange and red mane, and green eyes.

He turns around, shouting as he charges the alicorn.

Before he can arrive, a shadowy mist descends in front of him, which a pony emerges from. The shadowy stallion punches the stallion to the ground, growling and showing his sharper teeth, “He said step away, you savage.”

The ponies all around back up, their eyes wide as they behold the two stallions.

With a pop, a third figure appears. A chimera of all different creatures, glaring at the gathered ponies, “Unless if you want the same fate as this fellow, I highly recommend you go home.”

The ponies don’t budge, transfixed by the events.

The alicorn steps over the stallion, “Sombra, he is to be banished to Shadow for five years.”

Sombra nods, and a dark mist envelops the stallion. When the mist disappears, he is gone.

The colt looks at the alicorn as he approaches, “Stay back, please.”

The alicorn pauses his approach, “I do not wish to harm you. My name is King Ordirus, what is yours?”

The colt pauses as well, “I... I don’t know. I think... Chem.”

Ordirus nods, “Well, Chem, these two are my brothers, Sombra and Discord. You are an alicorn, meaning you are like me. That means you are to become a Prince, a new name, a new life, in a royal castle. We already have two Princesses, whom you will become brother to.”

Sombra steps next to Ordirus, smiling, “We’ll also make sure no ponies can harm you, el niño. You shall have a new home, two lovely hermanas, and dos tíos who will help teach you all you ever need to know.”

Discord leans over between the two, “I think you’ll find it quite the enjoyable situation compared to here.”

Ordirus nods, “So, what say you, Chem?”

Home

Chem slowly reawakens to the sound of knocking. He blinks, and yawned as Ordirus speaks from the other side of the door, “Chem, are you awake?”

Chem sits up, “I am now.”

Ordirus speaks once more, “May I come in?”

Chem nods, “Your castle, Ordirus.”

The door opens, and Ordirus smiles at Chem, “I hope your sleep was well. Sombra made sure to keep your dreams clear of any nightmares.”

Chem smiles, “Well, for my first sleep ever, I’d rate it pretty high.”

Ordirus nods, “Well, I hope you are hungry. Breakfast is fresh and ready.”

Chem slowly stands from his bed, moving over to Ordirus, “Once again, I can only thank you for taking me in.”

Ordirus grins, and begins to trot down the stone hallway, “You need not thank me, it is my pleasure to welcome another into my home.”

Chem follows after, “Well, I want to thank you. Who knows what those ponies would have done to me?”

Ordirus shakes his head, “Fear not the common pony, Chem. They are a paranoid bunch, but they should hopefully accept us given time. But the Minotaur hunt our kind, and Diamond Dogs wish to take us as slaves.”

Chem pauses, and shakes his head, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Ordirus looks back, “You are but a colt, Chem. While I have no doubt of your intentions, I do hold doubt of your skills. Even I could not defeat Cain, King of Minotaurs.”

Chem moves up to him, “Then train me.”

Ordirus pauses, “Do you know how it would look to everyone if I were to train you as a warrior? It might well turn Satan against us, or the Changelings. We are keepers of the peace, the Harmony, not warriors.”

Chem nods, “Then perhaps Harmony needs to be changed.”

Ordirus turns, and begins to trot once more, “Perhaps, but we have not an alicorn who holds such strength. I can only change Order, Discord can only change Chaos. Harmony remains unassigned.”

Chem sighs, “I just want to help you, to repay you for saving me.”

Ordirus smiles, “You will repay in time, Chem. You are a missing piece in our circle.”

They both trot into a dining room. Sat already at the table is Sombra, Discord, and two fillies.

Ordirus takes his seat on a chair with a circle inscribed into it. Chem moves slowly, sitting next to Sombra, across from the two fillies.

The smaller of the two smiles, “Hi! I’m Luna!”

Chem smiles back, “I’m Chem, Luna.”

The older one nods her head to him, “Greetings, I am Celestia, pleasure to meet you.”

Luna speaks up before Chem can respond, “You know, it’s odd to see one of us as a male, other than daddy.”

Chem looks over at Sombra, “What about him?”

Sombra chuckles, “No, niño, I am no alicorn. Only one horn, cero alas. Crystal is what I am, niño. Umbra, criatura de la sombra.”

Chem nods, “Those weird words you are using, they sound oddly familiar.”

Sombra raises an eyebrow, “Is that so, niño? I don’t even know where they come from, myself. Perhaps your dream had sprinklings of the words I used last noche?”

Chem shrugs, “It just is oddly familiar.”

Luna smirks, “Oh, don’t mind Uncle Sombra’s oddities, we all have them.”

Chem looks back to her, “Really?”

She nods, “Daddy always has to keep a garden somewhere in the castle, Uncle Discord reads cheesy romance novels, Celestia-“

She is quickly interrupted by Celestia, “Luna, it’s not nice to gossip.”

She smiles, “Celestia is easily embarrassed, and a stickler for the rules.”

Celestia shakes her head, “You’d be dead a hundred times over if I weren't here, Luna.”

Luna looks to Chem, “She doesn’t like having fun.”

Celestia looks at her, “Hey, I like having fun! Drinking tea, watching the sun set, reading a good book.”

Luna smirks, “My point has been proven.”

Chem smiles, “It would appear your point is proven.”

Celestia looks over at him, “Oh no, don’t tell me you are going to cause trouble as well.”

Chem smirks, “Hey, Luna, there any dangerous caves or dungeons filled with monsters nearby?”

She nods, “Oh, out in the middle of the forest, there’s a thicket filled with odd creatures.”

Celestia shakes her head, “Luna, we have adventures at home.”

Luna looks to her, “Yeah, because the adventure of hunting down the stray cat is so fun. We’ve scared that cat so much it doesn’t even have fur, let alone the will to fight back.”

Celestia pauses, “Be that as it may, we don’t need to get involved in anything over our heads, lest we drown on our ambitions. Such is what dad would say.”

Ordirus looks up from eating his food, “It is dangerous out there.”

Luna pouts, “But I want to find danger. I want to defeat monsters and rescue damsels!”

Sombra smiles, “Sobrina Luna, your hermana is right. There is much danger out there, too much for you.”

Discord grins, “Oh, you haven’t had fun in so long, Sombra. The world is very dangerous, so we need to be more dangerous.”

Ordirus looks over, “Then our enemies would become stronger in response, until our battles would tear the world asunder.”

Discord nods, “If it means getting rid of Cain, then I would gladly tear the world asunder. He almost killed you, brother.”

Ordirus nods, “Be that as it may, we do not want to kill Cain, for one more powerful will just take his place. We would throw the circle out of balance.”

Discord smiles, “You know that has done nothing but encourage me, right?”

Sombra speaks up, “Silencio, por favor. Chem has just arrived, he does not need to see us arguing.”

After a moment of silence, Luna looks down, “I’m sorry for causing an argument.”

Celestia speaks up, “It’s not your fault, Luna. I am sorry, I should have just gone along with the nature of the conversation.”

Ordirus shakes his head, “There is nopony to blame nor need to apologize. Families have disagreements every so often, as long as we do not act rude or mean it is fine.”

Discord nods, “Yeah, it’s just a tiny difference of opinions.”

Sombra smiles, “Head up, Luna, all is fine.”

She looks up, and smiles slightly, “Good, I don’t want to cause a big argument.”

Ordirus nods, “Now, once we’re done eating, I will show Chem around the castle.”

Chem nods, “I’ll make sure to remember everything.”

Ordirus smiles, “Good. Chem, welcome to your new home.”

Night

Chem tosses in his sleep, unable to find a comfortable position on the bed. Outside, the moon rises higher, shining down over the forests surrounding the castle.

“Psst.”

He opens his eyes as he hears it, seeing Luna standing in front of him, “L-“

She quickly covers his muzzle, whispering, “Come on, we’re going on an adventure.”

He slowly nods, whispering as she draws back her hoof, “Didn’t Ordirus get mad over that, though?”

She smiles, “Don’t worry, what he doesn’t know doesn’t harm him. Come on, we’ll go to that thicket, see the creatures, and be back before the sun rises.”

He slowly smiles back, “Alright, I suppose it can’t do any harm.”

Luna smiles wider, and opens a nearby window, “Come on, let’s go.”

He climbs out of bed, and slowly follows her out of the window.

She giggles as she looks up into the night sky, “Have you ever been on an adventure, Chem?”

He grins, “I’ve been alive for one day, Luna, don’t think it fits in my schedule.”

She grins back, “Well then, I’m sure this will be fun!” She begins to trot away from the castle, into the surrounding wood, “Come on, it’s this way!”

He follows after her, “You are quite energetic.”

She looks back, and smiles, “Yep! Especially during the night! Daddy says that I’ll raise the moon myself one day!”

He smiles, “Raising the moon? Quite a big responsibility. I take it Ordirus does that now?”

She nods, “Yep, daddy raises the moon and sun! Though he’s planning on giving me the moon, and Celestia the sun.” She pauses, “I wonder what he’ll give to you.”

Chem raises an eyebrow, “Give me something? Luna, he’s given me a home and a group to fall back on.”

She smiles, “Family, Chem, that’s the word you’re looking for.”

He pauses, “Don’t take this wrong, Luna, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable saying that yet. I don’t know why, but something is wriggling at the back of my mind, telling me that something else is out there for me. Something I’m forgetting.”

She nods, “Don’t worry, you can take as long as you want to be comfortable. Maybe you were alive before you fell from the sky?”

He shrugs, “I can’t say. But there’s just flashes of slight nostalgia. Sombra’s odd language, when I met Celestia, the castle itself.” He looks at his neck, slightly touching the red bow tie, “And I was wearing this when I arrived.”

She looks at it, and grins, “Oh, maybe you were a butler! Or maybe you were in a fancy party!”

He chuckles, “Maybe I was the king of some far off universe, fucking around with magic.”

She pauses, and raises an eyebrow, “What’s fucking?”

He pauses as well, his eyes widening, “A word that none of the grownups should hear. And if they do, don’t say I taught you it.”

She gasps, “Is it a bad word?”

He nods, “Yes, it is. I don’t know how I let it slip out. Shit, I’m a bad influence.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Shit?”

He grimaces, “Goddamnit, don’t say that either.”

She pauses, “Goddamnit?”

He sighs, “Ah, motherfucker, don’t say that one either.”

She grins slightly, “Motherfucker?”

He looks over at her, “Fucking hell, don’t say that especially.”

She smiles, “Hell?”

He sighs, “If you repeat any of those, Ordirus is going to kick my ass.”

She laughs, “Ass?”

He smiles slightly, “Right, now you’re just being a cunt.”

She giggles, “My, you know a lot of bad words, don’t you?”

He nods, “Fuck yeah I do, goddamned bastards and bitches need to be put in their place by a right proper cunt like me before they become pricks.”

Luna smirks, “Well, let’s go fucking kick the ass of a few cunts in this goddamned forest before those motherfuckers kick the shit out of us.”

He chuckles, “Fuck yeah! Let’s kick these pricks in their motherfucking asses!”

She begins to charge through the forest, “Here we come, fuckers!”

Chem runs alongside her, “Fucking adventure, yeah!”

Luna is about to shout once more, but she stumbles to a stop as they both enter into a clearing.

On the opposite edge of the clearing is a manticore, clawing at a tree, where they see a pony barely holding on. The pony isn’t more than a unicorn colt, wearing tattered, blood red robes.

Luna steps up, “Hey, cunt!”

Chem steps up beside her, “Over here, fuckface!”

The manticore turns around at their shouting, and growls at them.

Luna smiles, “We’re going to beat your ass!”

Chem grins, “Be prepare to have your shit kicked in, you bastard!”

The manticore slowly walks closer.

Chem looks at Luna, “Wait, did we bring any weapons?”

She looks back, “No?”

Their eyes widen simultaneously, and they speak at the same time, “Oh shit.”

The manticore lunges at them, prompting both of them to roll to the side.

Chem stands back up, “Come on, Luna, he can’t take both of us at once!”

He charges closer, and the manticore swings it’s paw. He barely dodges back, allowing him to see Luna on the other side, barely dodging the manticore’s tail.

Luna shouts as she dodges another poke from the tail, “You lied, you cunt!”

Chem barely ducks underneath a swipe from it’s paw again, “I thought we could!”

The manticore snorts, and swings it’s tail around, hitting Luna and sending her flying onto the other side of the clearing.

Chem dodges the tail as it now comes to attack him, but is knocked down by the paw.

The manticore places it’s paw on him, and readies it’s tail to sting.

But, as it prepares, a shout fills the clearing. The colt from on top the tree charges into the manticore, stabbing it’s neck with a quill.

It backs up slightly, and growls at the colt. Chem stands back up, and Luna rejoins them.

Chem breathes deeply, “Thanks for the save.”

The colt nods, “Yeah.”

Luna pants slightly, “I didn’t think it would be this hard to beat.”

The colt looks at the manticore, “What we need is for a heavy hitter to strike it’s side, as that is the part unprotected by anything other than wings. Do you two have any good magic?”

Luna nods, “I can distract it with a frost beam, though it is far from lethal.”

Chem nods as well, “I think I might. Give me a minute.”

The colt looks to Luna, “Alright, don’t get hit.”

She smiles, “If you insist.”

Luna takes into the air as the colt charges the manticore, though he stays out of range. Luna distracts it’s tail once again.

Chem moves to it’s side, and closes his eyes. Slowly, he can see glowing amber particles appear in his vision, outlining the surrounding area.

More seconds pass, and more amber particles appear. He opens his eyes, and sees all the particles all around.

He can see a slight red light appear, as a glow from his eyes shine onto the manticore, and his horn lights up an amber color. The amber particles appear, and he orders them.

An amber blast comes from his horn, slamming into the side of the manticore. It flies into a nearby tree, being knocked unconscious by the blow.

The colt pants and sits down, looking at Chem, “That was a powerful blow. Your kind good at magic like unicorns?”

Chem nods, “Alicorns, and I think we’re better.”

Luna smiles, and giggles, “We defeated it!”

Chem smiles, “We won!”

The colt looks at them, “Oh yes, and I’m so honored to be the damsel in distress for you two up and coming adventurers. Really, I hear it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Now I can die happily knowing that two brave ponies rescued me.”

Luna grins, “Don’t be such a cunt.”

Chem laughs, “You bet your ass you’re glad we saved you!”

He smirks, “Ah, so your kind have picked up the fickle art of sarcasm. How wonderful. It’s nice to finally find some civilization in this thrice damned forest. Even if that civilization is two crude adventurers.”

Chem smiles, “I’m Chem.”

Luna nods, “And I’m Luna.”

The colt smiles, “Oh, I take that as my saviors wanting to know my name. I’m Chaogat. Now, where is the nearest medic and hot bath? I’m bleeding and it’s been too long since I’ve gotten clean.”

Luna smiles widely, “We can take you back home, Chaogat! I’m sure Ordirus will welcome you!”

His eyes widen, “Ordirus? My family told me to never go near him.”

Luna smirks, “Where else are you going to go?”

Chaogat pauses, before thinking for a moment, “You make a fair point. Fine, I suppose I shall come along. I’m sure you two will find it enjoyable to have a single brain cell among you.”

Chem nods, “Lead the way, Luna.”

Chaogat stands, “Yes, lead the way through the cursed forest and hope you don’t get ambushed.”

Luna smiles, “Come on!”

Breakfast

Chaogat puts a bite of pancake in his mouth, only to glance around as he feels eyes boring into him. He swallows, and looks around, “Stop looking at me like I’m some sort of freak show. We already have one at the end of this table.” He points to Discord with his fork as he says this.

Discord grins, but Ordirus keeps his face straight, “Right... what was your name, again?”

The colt smiles, “Chaogat, apparently the only civilized pony in this entire forest.”

Ordirus nods, “And how did you come upon us?”

Chaogat leans back, “Well, I was running away from a manticore, and it appears Chem over there heard my shouts for help. He and Luna came running out of the castle, and he blasted the manticore with some magic. Gotta say, he’s pretty powerful, but not very smart. I’d say he’s as smart as a brick, but I think that’d be insulting the brick.”

Luna leans over, whispering and giggling into Chem’s ear, “Cunt.”

Chem grins, “A right and proper one.”

Sombra smirks, “You do not seem to be very smart yourself, niño.”

Chaogat laughs, “I highly doubt that. I seem to be the only one here who’s had an actual education.”

Celestia frowns, “There is no need to be so rude, Chaogat. We’re graciously opening our doors for you, you could at least act nice.”

Chaogat looks over at her, “Oh yes, your generosity is so staggering, I might just fall over. Oh, would you look at that? I’m still standing. Your words are meaningless to me, so please don’t waste more oxygen by speaking them. There are far more valuable beings who need that as well.”

As he finishes, Discord breaks out into hysterical laughter, “Oh, oh, this is rich!”

Chaogat glances at him, “No, actually, I’m quite poor. Still worth more than you though. Money can only do so much if the ones behind it are worthless. In the end, I actually would think your value is negative. So much oxygen, wasted.”

Chem slowly loses his smile, “Alright, now you’re actually going a bit far.”

Chaogat smiles, “Ah yes, going far. I suppose you’ll never feel that in your life. Look, it’s so obvious that there is nary a single brain cell among this little family of yours. Since I’ve got nowhere better to be, I suppose I can help all of you.”

Ordirus raises an eyebrow, “Help us?”

Chaogat nods, “Yep. Chem over there is powerful, but he needs to harness that power. Luna wasn’t half bad either. They need a normal magical education. And none of you look normal, so it falls to me to do that. You are to have my room set up by this afternoon, and I expect to be given anything I might need.”

Ordirus narrows his eyes, “You speak like we have already agreed.”

Chaogat smirks, “Oh, you already have. You just don’t know it yet.”

Sombra looks at Ordirus, “Do you really want him to hang around more?”

Discord smiles, “I actually quite like him.”

Ordirus looks towards Chem and Luna, “His offer is to teach you. Therefore, it is your choice to make.”

Chem looks at Luna, and she shrugs in response. He looks back at Ordirus, “I guess he can.”

Ordirus nods, closing his eyes slightly, “Fine. Welcome to the castle, Chaogat.”

Chaogat takes a bite of pancake, and grins as he swallows, “Ah, so predictable.” He stands up, “Chem, Luna, we begin immediately.”

Chem shakes his head, “We do not begin immediately.”

Chaogat narrows his eyes, “I know you might be illiterate, Chem, but that was not a question. I didn’t know you simpletons can’t listen. I suppose that shall have to be an early on lesson.”

Chem looks at him, “Chaogat, I didn’t stutter for a reason. I’m not stopping my breakfast early just because you are impatient. You might think you’re being clever and funny, but you’re not.”

Chaogat sighs, “Geez, it looks like you don’t understand sarcasm either. Fine, I suppose I-“

Luna rubs her forehead, “Stop being such a fucking cunt, Chaogat.”

The room goes silent immediately, and the faint sound of metal can be heard as Chem drops his fork. He looks at Luna, his eye twitching, “Luna.”

She looks at him, “What? He’s being a fucking asshole and is just constantly bitching about everything. If he would just stop being such a prick, I wouldn't need to say this.”

Celestia looks at her, “Luna, where did you learn such language?”

Discord holds up a talon, but Ordirus raises his hoof in response, “Discord, you and I both know this wasn’t you, don’t even try to take blame.”

Luna looks around, only for her eyes to widen, “Shit, I forgot where I am.”

Chem sighs, putting his head in his hooves, “Fucking hell, Luna.”

Magic

Chaogat looks at Luna and Chem, and smiles, “Because of that little stunt you pulled this morning, Luna, Sombra has said I can be as harsh as I need to be for today.”

Luna frowns, “So you’re just ignoring what I said and are profiting off the words I said it with?”

Chaogat nods, “Yep.”

Chem narrows his eyes, “Cunt.”

Chaogat grins, “Yep. You’re correct, I’m a cunt. But I’m self aware. If you prove yourselves to earn my respect, then you shall get it.”

Chem sighs, “Like some sort of new age Gordon Ramsay, ain’t you?”

Chaogat raises an eyebrow, “Who?”

Chem pauses, “That’s... a good question.”

Chaogat nods, “And I’m expecting a good answer.”

Chem shrugs, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I actually know.”

Luna looks over, and smiles, “What if it’s a glimpse into your previous life?”

Chem nods, “It’s very possible.”

Chaogat steps back, “Well, possibly snide comments beside, you have a lot to learn.”

Luna looks back to Chaogat, “Can you at least spend time teaching us instead of insulting us?”

Chaogat nods, “Yes, I’m not some spastic idiot who can’t do anything, unlike you.” He holds up a hoof, “If you respond to my every comment, then we shall get nowhere.”

Chem keeps his mouth shut, glaring slightly at Chaogat.

Chaogat grins, “Very good. Now then, it’s time to learn about the basics of all magic, Mana.” He looks at the two, “Do either of you two have a clue about what Mana is, or will you meet my expectations?”

Chem raises an eyebrow, “Is that the glowing shit I saw last night?”

Chaogat smirks, “No, I think that glowing shit was an image of your own brain. I jest, yes, that is Mana.”

Luna smiles, “Oh, daddy mentioned this! He said that Mana is pure energy and chaos, able to be harnessed by ponies!”

Chaogat nods, “Hmm, you’ve impressed me, Luna. Though it is not very detailed, it is the basic description of Mana, yes. Though Mana is a lot more than just energy and chaos. In some ways, once might even describe Mana as being alive.”

Luna raises an eyebrow, “Alive?”

Chaogat smiles, “Indeed, alive, though it’s in the grey area like an old mare in a coma.”

Chem grins, “Schrödinger’s Mana.”

Chaogat glances over, “Chem, the more you spout gibberish, the more I begin to think you might actually not have a single brain cell left.”

Chem shakes his head, “No, no, it’s a thought experiment. But with a cat. You put it in a box, close the box, and the cat is technically dead and alive at the same time within the box in a state of quantum superposition. It’s in a grey area because it’s in both, though through the Copenhagen interpretation, the cat is only one or the other when it is looked upon by the outside world. Our professor taught us about it in Third Year.”

Chaogat stares at Chem, “What?”

Assault

“Now then, blast me!”

Chem’s horn lights up amber, and the red glow from his eyes shines upon Chaogat’s shield. He lets out a blast of energy, which crashes into Chaogat’s shield.

The shield flickers, yet remains strong.

Chaogat dispels the shield, and smiles, “Good progress, though you still have a long way to go.”

Chem smiles as well, letting the glow around his horn die down, “Well, it’s only been a week. Give it time, Chaogat.”

Chaogat nods, “Oh, I am. Luna, let’s practice your moonbeam again.”

Luna’s horn glows blue as Chaogat raises another shield. Luna fires a silver beam of magic, which crashes into the shield.

Chaogat grins, “Well, you’ve got the casting down. Two seconds is quite impressive for so early on. But you need to make sure not to overload the spell like you just did. Too many of those, and you’ll pass out from magical exhaustion before your opponent has even reached the halfway point.”

Luna nods, “I’ll-“

Before she can properly finish her sentence, she is interrupted by something shouting, “Help!” From behind her.

The three of them spin to look at where the noise came from, only to see an odd creature emerge from the forest.

It looks like a deer, yet more insectoid. It has a black exoskeleton, with holes in it’s legs, blue eyes, and looks to be a deer colt as well.

The creature draws closer, only to trip as he nears the group.

Chem quickly rushes to it’s side, “What’s going on?”

Luna rushes alongside him, “Are you alright?”

The creature gasps for air, “M-Minotaurs!”

Chem is about to speak, but is interrupted by Chaogat, “Both of you, get up now! Drag him behind me, and stand in a defensive pattern!”

Chem begins to drag the creature, until it is safely behind Chaogat. He and Luna then surround Chaogat, looking at the forest as more creatures appear.

Five Minotaurs come striding out of the forest, all of them carrying different weapons. Axes, bows, swords, and all wear cloth armor.

Chaogat keeps his horn glowing softly as they approach, “Alright, target the archers first with your spells. Then, team up on the sword wielder. Target the axe one last.”

The lead Minotaur stops ten feet from them, and hefts his sword onto his shoulder. He grins, and looks the foals in front of him, “Evening, pony folk. How about you all run back to your parents, and leave our prey behind?”

Chem glares at him, “How about you fuck off?”

Luna nods, “Yeah, you cunt!”

The Minotaur raises an eyebrow, “Now, there’s no need for such foul language. Don’t make me cut out your tongue. Me and my boys here just want our prey. We don’t want any fighting.”

Chem growls, “You aren’t going to be taking anything but my boot up your ass.”

Chaogat smiles, “Now, my Minotaur gentlemen, I’m sure we can let bygones be bygones. You interrupted our lesson, so we’re taking your ‘prey’. A fair trade, no?”

The Minotaur smirks, “You think you’re smart, don’t you? We’ll be taking our prey, even if we have to cut down you three as well.”

Chaogat shakes his head, “Now, that just seems dumb. Is it really worth losing your lives over some strange insect?”

The Minotaur looks to his fellows, “They aren’t backing down, boys. You know what that means.”

One of the archers nods, and is about to speak, when a sword comes flying through the air, and cuts off his horn. The chunk of bone falls to the ground, and he quickly collapses in pain.

Ordirus walks over from the castle, his sword retuning to shards in a pouch by his side. He trots right up to the head Minotaur, “Get out of here, immediately.”

The Minotaur glares down at Ordirus, “After what you just did to him?! You’re going to pay for that!”

The shards fly out from the pouch again, and cut through the different weapons of the group. Swords break in half, axes are cracked, and bow strings snap.

Ordirus looks right back at the Minotaur, “Get out of here, immediately.”

The Minotaur backs up slightly, “When Cain hears-“

Ordirus charges up his horn, and sends out a blast which knocks all of them back into the forest. He glares after the Minotaurs, before turning around to face the foals.

Chem slowly backs out of his defensive stance, and Luna smiles as she stands straight again.

Ordirus trots past them, “Chem, starting tomorrow, you are going to learn how to fight. Bring that creature in, Sombra will patch him up.”

Chem nods, and Luna looks to the injured creature.

The creature looks at the three of them, “Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

Luna smiles widely, “Don’t worry about it!”

Chem nods, “We rescue creatures all the time, it seems.”

The creature slowly gets up, various wounds around his body bleeding blue. He bows the best he can, “I am Prince Nullam, of the Blue Hive.”

Luna grins, “I’m Luna! He’s Chem, and he’s Chaogat!”

Nullam straightens up, “Well, thank you for your help. But I’m afraid I’m in serious need of medical care.”