Assault- and Apeppa-Tron

Chapters

Assaultr-on, Assaultr-off.
Haywire Robotics
Back online
Meet the Crew.

Assaultr-on, Assaultr-off.

I was so exited. Finally, a convention nearby that I didn't have to pick from any other games or shows. Finally I can Fallout Fangirl so hard.

Currently she was driving there with her Assaultron cosplay on. She had made a really good suit, with the bits and pieces fitted hopefully perfect. I didn't have time (or stuff) to make the head and was hoping I could get one there.

I also had a satchel of mini Fusion Cores and Robot Repair Kits, hopefully so I can use them to trade for stuff. As I pulled up to the con center, struggling to find a parking spot, I couldn't help but squeal in excitement. I quickly checked my budget.

$50 for entry, $50 for food, $1400 in misc/spending. $1500 total. Got that. Another squeal escaped from my mouth. After about half an hour of waiting in the queue, she finally got in. With my backpack on, satchel by my side, I set out into the con.

After buying some trinkets and trading five fusion cores and $500 for Assaultron gloves that have that eggbeater-like extension, I made her way to a stall with a guy dressed up as the Merchant from one Resident Evil or another.

This guy had heaps of things, though the only one to catch my eye was an Assaultron helmet.

"Excuse me?" She said to the man. "Is this wearable?" She asked, pointing to the head.

He looked at it and nodded. "How much?" She asked. He scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"$100. Though you can get one that acts like a VR headset and shows you a display of Assaultron sight for $500." He said. I checked how much I had. If I bought this, then I would have just enough for food and an overdue parking ticket. Perfect.

"I'll take the VR one, thanks." I decided, pulling out 5 $100 bills. "Here ya go!"

He grunted and passed the head while taking the money. "Have a nice time!" he said.

"Thanks. Now, lets try this on. I wanna see how I'll look." I mumbled as I made my way to the bathroom, head in hand. As I stood in front of the mirror and donned the helmet, I looked for how to turn it on.

Before I had properly searched the face plate, I heard a chirping in my ears, then an Assaultron voice played from speakers in the helmet.

"Host detected. Activating interface." An interface of health, power, sensor data, and laser charge came up. then a box of stuff came up and began to scroll as the AI ticked them off. "Sensors, online. Laser, online. Health, full. Charge, full." Then the Merchants voice began to play. "Have a nice time!" It happily said as the world turned black.

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A faint flapping jolted me back to consciences. I quickly went to take my helmet off. then i saw my arms. They looked exactly like an Assaultron's eggbeaters. I did a once over of my body. I looked exactly like an Assaultron.

"Oh god. I...don't know how to feel about this. Dream come true but also worst nightmare. This is so weird." I said, looking around. "Let's see. I'm in a forest, on a beaten trail, as an Assaultron. People are going to be weirded out by me, so best to stay here."

The sound of flapping grabbed my attention. "That flapping again." I murmured to myself before realizing that my voice had changed as well. it was now that of an average Assaultron. I shook of that thought for later and decided to investigate the flapping. as i looked up I saw what looks like a pastel colored pegasus flying around lopsided on account of one wing being bigger than the other. As I watched she crashed into a tree and I quickly ran to her. As I got closer I got a better look at her. Blood orange coat and green mane and tail with some sort of tattoo on her butt that looked like a cartoon cloud being blown by wind. I quickly activated my medical scanners, hoping they would work. They did. The AI reported nothing, not even bruises, had been inflicted by that fall.

"Oh thank god." I sighed. the words roused the pony and she looked at me, and screamed. I quickly tried to shut off the audio feed, but found I couldn't, so i tried to comfort her. "Its alright, I'm not going to hurt you." I consoled her. Hearing me talk, she started to scream even louder, until i stuffed one of my eggbeaters into her mouth. That shut her up real quick.

"Alright, now. You gonna scream some more when i take this out or are you gonna talk like a civilized pe-um, pony?" I say. she nod and mumbles something along the lines of 'civilized pony'. "Good. now, I'm gonna take this out now so no screaming. Got it? Alright." I remove the eggbeater. She takes a deep breath.

"Who are you? I'm Cloudy Skies." She says as she wriggles into a sitting position.

"Well, I'm Peppa. But, now I'm a robot I'm thinking PE.P.A. Kinda like KL.E.O but Peppa." I answer as I sat down. She looks at me weirdly. "What?" I ask.

"So, you were not always like this?" She asked.

"Yup. I used to be a human, and this thing that I had been turned into was a piece of fiction from a video game I really liked. I went to a convention and bought a helmet that looks like one of these." I tapped my head. "And then I tried it on and it transported me here. Oh, and by the way, where am I and what is going on?" I asked, getting up. She also got up.

"You are currently in Equestria, and the world is in chaos by a being who calls himself Discord. Also, whats a 'video game' and whats a 'convention'?" She asked.

"Later." I replied. "Now, lets see if this works." T say, tapping the things that make the lasers. I faced a tree and thought of zapping it with a large bolt. A red glow circled my vision and the charge meter started to fill. As it peaked I thought of letting that energy go, and I was momentary blinded by a bed light circling a white blob in the middle of my vision. Skies gasped as the tree disintegrated into a pile of ash and embers. I smiled, though I couldn't show it. i turned to her. "Lets zap ourselves a Discord."

Author's Note

Well, there we are. Done and (not) done. By the way, I just made this story because I really like Displaced stories, so this does not at all tie in with the universe i am currently writing as well. Well, that's sorted, see ya next chapter

Haywire Robotics

I marched out of the forest with Skies by my side and my vision fell upon a town that was a hellhole of chaos.

The ground was a giant checkerboard of pink and purple, the roads were soap, sections of the town floated and a bit was upside down, it had started to rain chocolate milk from cotton candy clouds, and a beast made from pieces of many animals lazed on a throne overlooking the town.

I approached him. Once I was about 15 meters from him he cracked an eye open and asked "Yes? Come on I don't have all day." He said to Skies before laying his eyes on me. "Ooh, what do we have here? Not of this world, that's for sure. Not even of this form." He said eyeing me. I met his gaze

"Hello." I said in my robotic voice, steely calm. "I'm PE.P.A, and this is my friend Cloudy Skies. I do believe that one of her wings is different to the other." I charged up my laser. "Care to fix it?" He looked at me and laughed.

"Nice light show, but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to pass." I marched up to him and zapped the chair he was sitting on. He promptly fell down.

"I don't think you understand." I said, charging another beam and grabbing him by the throat. "Fix. It. NOW!" I said. He snapped his fingers. I glanced over to Skies and saw that her wings were normal. I released my grip on Discord. He floated up and snapped his fingers again. Another throne popped into existence.

"Alrighty then, move along. There is quite a crowd that saw that. also the queue's getting longer. Your blocking my friends way." He said, waving his paw. i moved aside and saw two large ponies behind us. One of them was a pristine white with flowing dulled rainbow hair and a pair of wings and a horn, and another one, slightly shorter, midnight blue and with a darker blue flowing mane with dots that look like constellations as well as the wings and horn. The white one speaks up.

"Discord. We are not thy friends." She says in a regal yet dark tone. Their horns light up and they each take out gems from their bags. Discord chuckles.

"Oh, Celestia." he says, extending his lion arm to pat the white one's head. "Luna." He does the same with the eagle talon to the blue one. Then he retracts both of them. "Do you really think that those trinkets can defeat me?" He laughs and starts to lounge on his chair. Then Celestia and Luna start to rise, their eyes turning a solid white. The gems start to orbit them, with the one that looks like a six point star hovering between the two ponies. Then Luna finally speaks.

"By the power of the Elements of Harmony," She says before Celestia joins in.

"We banish thee to stone. Chaos encased in granite for the distant future. Begone the one we used to call friend, but now call enemy. Begone to rock, Discord." A bright flash came from the Elements after those words, then a rainbow streaked from the ball of energy.

Discords laughter could be heard before a gasp and then...silence. A statue stood where the throne once was. the chaos inflicted across the world was reverted to normal, but many things were shattered and destroyed. I was one of them. Skies quickly ran over to me as she saw me bent down, sparks and electricity emitting from me. I met her gaze.

"Get...The...Repair...Kits...From...The...Satchel." I struggled as I tried to contain the buildup of energy that ran through me until my laser was online, as otherwise I would explode. Skies quickly snatched up the satchel and dug out a Fusion Core. She holds it up and I shake my head.

"Not...That...The...Other...One." She quickly searches the satchel again, pulling a Repair kit out. By this time Celestia and Luna had come over to us.

"What is going on?" Celestia asked Skies. She looked at her before passing the Kit to me. "My friend PE.P.A, yes that is her name, Somehow got affected by the HUGE magical signature that blast put out and hopefully she can fix it." She explains as I jam the kit into my torso. Everyone winces as I let out a moan of happiness and pain. I feel my systems start to reboot and quickly jam another into my head to reboot the laser as fast as possible. As soon as it is online i fire a beam into the clouds. A massive humming sounds out as a rainbow laser, mainly red, pierces the sky. As it dies down after a minute everyone lets go of their ears. I look around and scan all of my new friends.

"So, what now?" I ask, taking out a miniature Workshop model.

"Now, we shall explain. All of us," she says pointedly, looking at me and Skies. "Will explain."

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The two alicorn sisters sit back, contemplating what I had just told them.

After finding that I could use the miniature workshop to create all sorts of things by accessing the workshop HUD and collecting blueprints. I already have all of the workshops Blueprints, so with time i could make everything.

Catch there. 'With time'. Don't know how long I can hold up, but Assaultron's could hold up over 200 years in an apocalyptic wasteland without repairs, so I thought of a good chance of ten times that, maybe more, with constant refreshments in the robot workshop, a good stock of Repair Kits, and external databases to hold my excess memories.

I could already make Kits, shock hands, eggbeaters, and some thing that converts laser energy into conventional magic like these ponies use.

I had to let go of my laser for that, though, so that ain't happening. Well, maybe, maybe. Lots of maybes. After all, I am in another world, scratch that, another dimension, a magical one at that. I just... just...ugh.

Celestia voices her thoughts on the matter, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"So, you are from another dimension, this is not your true form, that is a human, and you are now a being called an Assaultron, that is one of a selection of 'robots', which are beings made entirely out of technology, and you want to live here? Is all of that correct?" She questions me. I nod, now that I have my regular accent I feel a bit more comfortable.

"Yep. So, is that a yes for an...Equestria, is it?...yes, Equestrian citizenship. If that isn't to much trouble." I reply with a heavy Australian accent, examining my eggbeaters, that now, due to some mods, look like hands and work like them.

The two alicorns look at each other, silently conversing. Then they straiten and Luna turns to me.

"Congratulations, PE.P.A, on your Equestrian citizenship. Also, Cloudy Skies, we have something to grant you." she says, looking to Skies. Celestia then levitates an amulet to her. The amulet looked like a cloud, made out of quartz. I detected strong signatures that I have made out to be magic.

"Powerful little fella, that thing is." I said as I completed the magical diagnostic. "Staunches aging. Makes you immortal. Gonna need it if you wanna be my friend." I joked. Skies smiled and took the amulet.

"Yes, you are right about that, PE.P.A. but, it has to be tied to a life form close to the host. And you seem to have a magical life force." Celestia says with a frown. I just chuckled.

"The magical life force is probably just the laser energy that keeps me going, it seems to have an affinity to magic. I even have a mod that basically gives me the ability to use magic. Cool, huh?" I said.Then a beeping and a flashing light on my HUD cut me off. Skies looked at me, concerned.

"What is that, is that bad?" She asks me. I quickly scroll through my warnings book.

"I don't knooooooooooow...Here! Oh, oh..." I trail off as I see what the warning is.

"What? What is it? TELL ME!" She screams, shaking me. I shake my head and let out a sad sigh.

"Damage auto shutdown. Means that if i sustain a life-threateningly powerful injury, i shut down for an innumerable number of years. Could be twenty, could be twenty thousand. I don't know. Just hope I see you soon. Keep a diary for me, ok?" I ask her, patting her head. She looks at me with puffy eyes, tears streaming freely as she comprehend what is happening.

"No...No...I just became immortal and i cant spend it with one of the only friends i ever had that would stand up to the people wronged me. Today, you faced down DISCORD, for Faust's sake! Because he wronged me, you marched up to him and threatened to zap him if he didn't fix his wronging. I..." She hung her head, then looked at me in the camera/eye. "Don't be gone for long, please?" She pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. i patted her head once more, then looked at Celestia.

"Put me next to Discord's statue, will you?" I asked. She nodded. I looked at Skies. "Cloudy Skies. One of the first ponies I ever saw. I promise i wont be gone long." I stood up and did a two finger salute. "See ya, eh?" I say as my joints start to freeze up and lock me in that position. as the light starts to fade, Celestia, Luna, and Skies all saluted to me.

"Come back soon." Skies says as I lose everything except for my mind.

"Not a day will go by, Skies. For me and for you" I think as everything shuts down.

Back online

I looked up at the statue of my best friend, covered in ivy and moss. The garden tenders wanted to clean her but they found that they couldn't reach her. A crackling barrier of laser energy became apparent the closer you got to her. Only a few select ponies could traverse the barrier. Me, Celestia, Luna, and Celestia's student, Twilight.

Unfortunately Twilight always wanted to dismantle the 'obviously lifeless' PE.P.A, so we mainly keep her away.

I was shaken from my thoughts by a crackling and the snapping of plants. Then a loud humming like PE.P.A's laser. The barrier had fallen. I gazed up at my friend. Red began to create a halo around her.

"PE.P.A. Welcome back." I said with tears in my eyes as she moved for the first time in over a millennia.

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"PE.P.A. Welcome back." My friends voice echoed in my head as i shook off the plants that had latched to me. I looked at Skies. She flew at me so hard that I fell off the pillar I had been placed on. She then squeezed me just as hard.

"Hello...Skies." I said. Then a sudden shock came from my Core port and I quickly did a diagnostic.

"I...Need...A...Core." I struggled out as I rapidly lost power. Skies reached into the base of my pedestal and took out a leather satchel. She then reached inside and pulled out a Fusion Core.

"We needed to keep these safe from Twilight. She's Celestia's star student. Special talent in magic. Where do I put it?" she asks as i gesture to the port on my back. She quickly removes my current Core and inserts the new one. I let out a content sigh.

"So, how long?" I ask Skies. Her head dips, face scrunching up in pain of remembrance.

"One thousand, one hundred and fifty years. I was alone for all that time. The princesses were there but after a while, the excitement of being immortal died down. I just wanted you back. I just wante-" She didn't finish as she got cut off by a purple blur that resolved itself to be a unicorn. She started to rapidly spurt words as I recoiled.

"Ohmygoshyou'rerealandnotjustastatielikethelegendsandstoriessayohmygoshohmygoshohmy-" she in turn was cut off by me clamping one of my hands over her mouth.

"Thank Faust that's over." Skies said. She smiled at me. I nodded to her.

"Your quite right." I look to Twilight and take my hand off. "So, do you want to build a snowman?" She looks at me with a confused expression.

I quickly fixed my speech. "Sorry. Just got back online after over a millennium, I'm aloud to have some faults in my speech hardware." She just nods at me.

"So, you are PE.P.A, the po-umm, person, that confronted Discord and disintegrated his throne?" Twilight asks, taking out a notepad, a quill, and a small lizard-like creature that I'm guessing is a dragon. "Spike, write this down." She instructs the dragon. She then turns to me.

"So, what is it like in a festering tartarushole of chaos?" She asked me. I simply groaned and started up my projector. It shined on my pedestal and created a picture of the view I saw from upon the hill slightly outside.

"This. And it wasn't a 'festering tartarushole of chaos', it was a chaotic plain. No tartarushole." I said as I adjusted to play the events of that day.

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Twilight looked about ready to burst as she saw the beam of harmony magic I shot into the sky. She quickly grabbed the notebook and wrote down an analysis of what she saw. I humored her and gave her my results on the signature the beam emitted. After we were finished I looked her in the eye.

"You good?" I ask her, even though she's visibly shaking with excitement. As he was about to answer a sound tore away my attention. I looked up, and saw a face I loved to see.

"Welcome back, PE.P.A. I see you've met Twilight." Celestia said with a big smile. As I nodded she turned to Twilight, who was in the process of bowing, only stopping because of the pure excitement in Celestia's voice.

"Twilight, I have an assignment for you, but you'll need PE.P.A to come along..."

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"So, what exactly are we doing?" I ask Twilight on the way to the town of 'Ponyville'. The puns are strong with these ones.

"Ugh, well, Celestia has chosen me to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration," She puffed her chest out at that before deflating. "And also that the top priority was to make friends." She said with a venomous tone. I gave her a look that could pass for a really? face, if I had a face i could move.

"You gotta be kidding me. You get a super important assignment from your mentor and leader of the place, and you're getting toxic about making friends? Goddamn it, why did I even come on this ride?" I hurled at her before continuing. "Oh, that's right, to meet the ponies of Equestria and make friends! How stupid are you?" I finished my rant and laid back. "And I had to leave my only friend and my first, and don't sling the argument of Spike being your friend, because you use him as your personal draconic slave! When have you treated him as equal, like a pony? You hatched and raised him, for crying out loud! But what do I know? I'm only a living compassionate soul fused with the energy of the Elements of Harmony and a super smart combat AI that is a whiz at math in order to pinpoint the means necessary for besting an opponent!" She just stared at me with a bewildered expression.

"Umm, uhahaha...eeeh I got nothing. You're right, I don't have any friends, I've abused Spike, and I continue to act innocent." She sniffs. I catch the reflection of a tear falling down her face.

"Hey, hey. Sorry if that was a bit harsh. I've been very detached. Sitting in Equestria's waiting room gets kinda boring, but hey, at least Nightmare moon kept me company when she arrived. Though, some of the stuff there will tear you apart. Luckily the Crystal Empire showed up, otherwise we wouldn't have had anywhere to go." I joked. She just looked at me, mind-boggled.

"You, you met Nightmare Moon. Oh my gosh, I was right! She's real!" She started to hyperventilate. I patted her back.

"Easy, easy, breathe Twilight, breath." I said before turning my attention to the drivers. "Hey, when we gonna get there?" I asked them.

"Soon." One of them replied as Ponyville came into view.

"Well, Twilight, lets go check out Ponyville." I said as we landed.

"Yes, lets." She said back. Together we hopped off the chariot, a sleeping Spike on Twilight's back.

Meet the Crew.

"Well that was...strange." I remarked as we arrived at the library after meeting the party planner of the town, Pinkie Pie, who somehow gave me a perfect Spy costume, complete with fedora and watch, the weather manager, Rainbow Dash, who managed to overload and knock me out for five minutes with a lightning bolt, the designer and fashionista, Rarity, who fussed over my suit and admired the workmanship, the musical organizer, Fluttershy, who was terrified out of her mind about me until the birds started to get an interest in me, and I found I could translate bird speech, the farmer and food supplier, Applejack, that admired how I could reach the apples without flying, using magic, or climbing, and then making their way to the Golden Oak Library, where we would be staying.

"You're telling me." Twilight replied dryly, bundling herself up in her bed. Spike was still out cold due to the...umm...actually i don't know.

"Why has Spike been knocked out most of today again?" I decided to inquire. Twilight didn't even budge when she gave the answer.

"Because i overworked him almost every day and he barely gets enough rest so I'm making it back to him." She groaned.

"Ah. alright." I replied. "Well, see ya tomorrow." I laid down on the couch we got from a shop literally called Quills and Sofa's. Well, it actually goes together better than you know. Also it's very feather-efficient.

"Why did you even get that couch? We do have another bed. Also-"

"Caps."

"What?"

"Caps."

"What's that?"

"Currency of the Wastes. Nuka-Cola bottlecaps."

"Huh." As she finishes that word snoring started up. I glanced over and saw that she had fallen asleep.

"Behold. The foreshadowing of the Pinkie." I said, donning my Spy suit.

"Huhwah?" Twilight moaned as music came from nowhere.

"Pinkie. Pinkie Pie, the Ponyville party planner. Set up a party here. Everyone except for you and me got told and is here. The reason I knew about it is I could hear scuffling and could see all of the ponies in the place. And...activate operation Pinkie Party." I explained as i raised my hands in a dramatic fashion and all the hidden ponies came out, one grey pegasus mare somehow tumbling from the ceiling despite there being nothing to grab on to.

"And how about some good music?" I said, setting up audio and selecting a song. "Fillies and gentlecolts, I welcome you to the wonders, of Galway Girl." I said as the song started up. As everyone stared at me Pinkie zipped into existence right beside me.

"Hey there, PE.P.A, how are ya?" She asked in a tone alike to old friends catching up. No I will not explain any more antics. Have fun.

"Hey Pinkie, think of a new acronym?" I asked back. She merely giggled and whipped out a clipboard.

"Since PP didn't work for...obvious reasons, I've made this." She says as she takes out a life-size model of me, except Painted pink and with PN.K.Y painted on the side. "This is also an annaliser for my reality bending talents." She whispers as she pulls out a wrench and tightens a few bolts. "But that's for later." She says as she finished repairs and blinked it out of existence.

"Anyway, ain't this a party?" I asked as the shenanigans ended and the music's volume went up a notch.

"Yepperoni, it indeedy is." Pinkie says as we hit the (just blinked into existence) dance floor. "Leeeeeeeet's PARTY!!!!!"

Author's Note

Short one this time. No the shenanigans will not be explained.w