To Live This Way

by SpicelessPorkchops

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Profanity, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 3618

Once upon a time, in an apartment complex in one fateful night... Robin was sucked into Equestria! That's right! Another Human in ponyland story! Originally just a random thought one night, is now coming true. Prepare for a whole "great" writing!

Robin lived a mostly boring life. Wake up, go to work, go home, eat, sleep, and repeat. But one night, when he was sleeping, something happened... When he eventually woke up, he found himself surronded by... Ponies..? TALKING ponies? Who spiked his Soda? Seriously, that ain't cool! Anyways, long story short. He was sucked into Equestria, eventually met the Princesses, and even got a room at the castle. Sounds great right? Well think twice, because something dark is coming... Something evil... Something emotionless and hateful... Or.. Is it?

Published 2018-12-17 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-23 21:32:09 UTC

The Meeting

"Give me twenty more minutes!" You shouted, burrying you face into your pillows.

"You're acting like a foal, Robin! I have meetings I must attend to!" Celestia snapped back at you. Sure, it was hard as hell adjusting to this new pastel pony world you were sucked into, but the last thing you would have expected, was being dragged around everyday to meetings and conference's that frankly, you gave zero fucks for.

"I don't wanna go! I didn't get any sleep because of that damned Gala thing last night," You complained, throwing the blanket over yourself, only for it to be yanked away by Celestia, God of spoiling-your-beauty-sleep.

"Come on Robin, I don't have time for this. We need to go to Thorax' hive to discuss some issue that had appeared recently," Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes, groaned, and said;
"I don't do politics. Take someone that cares about whatever it is you're trying to fix,"

"I can't not go to the meeting, and I certainly can't leave you alone here, Robin." Celestia said, opening the curtains with her magic letting the morning light flood in.

"HISSS!!!" You.. Well you hissed at the light, and immediatly dived under the covers of your bed. You never really even realised how comfy this bed was before. The kind you'd sink into and pass out almost instantly... Which you had just done… again... or so you thought…

Some Time Later

You awake in one of those cart thingys that was pulled by horses… but this one was flying.
"He's finally awake? It's been nearly two hours since we left Canterlot," Luna said from the seat beside you.

"Yeah well I'm a heavy sleeper… I think I need a downgrade on that mattress, because I fall asleep evertime I lay on it," You say, sitting up, adjusting to your surrondings.

Celestia chips in, confirming her presence. "Actually, I used a spell to make you sleep this time," Hearing this, you twist around on your seat and deliver a swift boop to Celestia's snout.

"Bad Princess! We made a deal so you wouldn't use magic on me!"

The Princess smiled at you before returning the boop. Which she normally didn't do. "I've used magic on you multiple times now, you just never seemed to have noticed,"

Damn, if she can be that stealthy with magic, then god knows if she's been sneaking around your room while you were… dealing with some things the other day.
"Thanks for the tip chief, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for glowing horns hiding in my closet from now on."
You sit back, trying to get as comfortable as you could on these stone or marble seats, or whatever they were made of. You take to looking around, trying to get some idea of where you were going.
"Where were we going again? Normally I don't give a damn about your politics, but I'm in a better mood today,"

Celestia puts her wing around you, pulling you a little closer to her. For protection, of course. Nothing more. "We're going to the Changeling hive, ruled by King Thorax. A great friend, and good leader might I add."

You look at Celestia, then glance over to Luna. "…The hells a changeling?"

Soon After

"GAH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!" You blare out, instinctivly striking some fancy Kung-Fu moves, warning the multicolored deer-moose thing to keep it's distance.

"This is Thorax, king of the changelings," Celestia stated, taking a seat at the conference table that had been set up in the throne room of the surprisingly lively bug-hive. The table was also being occupied by several other species at the time. Probably leaders from other Countries? Or atleast thats how you assumed it worked here. You could name a few of said species easily, thanks to your slight education of mythology. Wait... Oh shit. The living girls toy deer-moose-bug starting approaching you.

"As Princess Celestia said, I am Thorax, King of the Changelings. And you'd be Robin? I've heard a bit about you from Spike. Apparently he found you in a field outside of Ponyville?"

While he had been talking, you managed to slip away and sit beside Celestia and Luna, still listening to him none-the-less.
Leaning back in your chair, tempted to prop your feet up on the table, but knowing you'd probably get some complaints, you take a moment to think up a response. A response that wasn't true, but it was better then how you were actually found.
"I think your pal is giving himself too much credit. I found him hiding behind a tree after I came crashing down from the sky."

"Hmm...I'm going to have to speak with him about that later then…"
Thorax ponders that for a moment, before taking his seat at the end of the table."

Man, you still couldn't get over Thorax' appearence. You'd probably jump off the damn castle balcony in Canterlot if you ever looked like that. Speaking of which, you noticed another rainbow bug thing trot up behind Thorax. He looked similar, but a different color scheme… You probably wouldn't ever get used to how they look…

Lost in your train of thought, you've mostly drained out the conversation the leaders of ponyworld were having, until something they said caught your attention.

"We've hired a Paramilitary force called 'SAiBr' to infiltrate the improvised hive, and release the prisoners they have,"
Celestia states, only for you to hop out of you seat and interject.

"Infiltration mission? SAiBr? Prisoners? Hell, sign me up!"
You pump your fists. You've always wanted to be all tactical and sneaky in some infiltration missions. GR: Wildlands was to blame for that.

"We are short a few bodies. Maybe I'll consider recruiting you when I've got the time,"
A gravely voice speaks up from behind you, actually causing you to spin around for being jumpscared a bit. Standing there was a stallion pegasus with a black coat of fur, and a few scars visible across his right eye and across his mouth. He had a short, gray mane and an even shorter tail. "Names Thunder Wing, General and founder of SAiBr." He stated in a low, almost emotionless voice as he trotted up to Celestia and bowed before her.
"It is nice to finally meet you, Princess Celestia. I do hope my squad is the team you're looking for."

Celestia offered him a seat, but he decided to just stay standing at attention. "I've heard some good things about your group, I'm sure you'll do just fine. Thorax will detail you on your assignment. You'll be moving out in a few days,"
Celestia says, standing up and approaching the exit out of the throne room. That probably meant the meeting was over.

"Hey don't leave yet! I still want to join this guys team!"
You yelled back at Celestia, only for her to look back at you and say;

"Not happening. You're staying with me,"

You start whining and plop back down into your chair.
"You're gonna let me join him or I tell everyone here that secret you told me..."

Celestia gasps, almost dramatically, and turns to you with a fake shocked expression.

"You wouldn't dare do that! You made a promise!"
The others in the room look curiously at Celestia, wondering what said secret could possibly be. Celestia stares at you for a few seconds, before hanging her head in defeat, knowing you really will tell them. "Very well then… We're going to have a good long talk when you get back though."

"Yeah yeah, whatever, ok mom,"
You joked, gaining a quiet and cute laugh from Luna. Last time you joked about Celestia being your mom was at the Gala, and Luna bursted out laughing. You assumed it was the cider that did that, but apparently she just finds those kinds of jokes funny. Dully noted.

As the last of the heads of the countries left, all that remained was you and the General.

"So General Thunder Wing, when do we start whatever we're doing?"
You stand at attention and salute him. You learned that in the Boy Scouts back home. You were kicked out because of your laziness later on though.

"Please, just call me Thunder. And your training starts now, give me twenty laps around the room! Go go go!"

'-TO BE CONTINUED?-'

Author's Note

Knowing my luck, I'll probably have more dislikes then likes on this, but oh well. I always thought I'd like to write. So here I am writing.

I wrote and submitted this the day I made my account, but before that, I was actually pretty active when it came to reading.

Little fun fact: I was never really a fan of the whole Human in Equestria and the Anon stuff, but over time I've come to enjoy them. Its been a solid week or so since I have read anything so I'm gonna go binge read random stories shortly after submitting this chapter so, I guess all I can say is, I hope you enjoy my very first little story that I'm starting.

P.S. I do read through a few times to correct spelling, but nobody is perfect. I tried my best!

Preparations

"How the hell am I supposed to get over that?!" You exclaim, staring up at what seemed to be two parallel rock walls of some sort, yet they didn't have any rocks that you would be able to grab onto.

"You'll find the way. Eventually."
Thunder said, clearly disappointed that you could see how you're supposed to get up and over.

"I feel like you're fuckin' with me. There isn't actually a way up, is there?" You say, glancing at the General, and then back at the walls.

"Oh there is a way," A voice said from behind you, only for you to turn around and see an earthpony mare with what looked to be a robotic leg?

"Who are you? Why do you have a metal lump on your leg? Why are you so short?" You ask, completely disregarding the other questions and focusing on your last one in your mind. Why was she so short? Not the cute kind of short, but the kind of short where her head goes up to your knees. THAT is how short she is.

"Thats my daughter you're speaking to, and she is also the youngest member of SAiBr, so watch your tongue. Her name is Aurora."
General Thunder-Fuck says. You call him that cause he's a total jackass when you screw up on something.

"Hello there! It's nice to meet you!" Aurora chimes out, extending a hoof out to you.

It takes you a moment before you realise she's trying to shake your hand. It doesn't help that you had to crouch down to actually be at eye level with here, and to comfortably shake her hoof. "I'm Robin... …why are you so short?" You ask.

"Is it not obvious? I'm only a filly," She says which results in you staring at the general with a deadpanned face.

"…Excuse me? Mister 'Deadliest Paramilitary Force In Equestria'? Since when were you hiring kids?" You ask, slight concern in your voice. If the general or some other recruit got killed or something, you'd probably just shrug it away as a consequence of being in their position, but letting a kid be in the battlefield? Thats a whole other level of fucked up that you didn't want to explore.

"She bugged me till I gave in. That headache lasted a week" The General said casually, as if it were completely normal to let kids fight in battle.

"In my world that's the kind of thing terrorists would do because God know that Allies wouldn't shoot at children…" You say, reminding you of a movie scene before you were sucked into pony world.

"I can handle myself, thank you!" The little filly shouts, reminding you she was still standing in front of you.

"Yeah? Prove it." You say, with a smug smirk on your face, only for Aurora to gallop past you, and parkour up the rock wall like a fucking ninja, followed by you staring at the mini pony Faith in awe.

"…That.. Was actually kinda fuckin' awesome!" You exclaim and start clapping. "You gotta teach me how to do that!" You say, cracking your knuckles, as if you were about to run at, and flip over the wall or something.

"No can do, Robin. We're moving out in a couple hours," Thunder said, getting up from his chair. "I need to teach you how to use our weapons,"

Roughly 105 Minutes Later

"So basically the lever thing activates it, then the button shoot the thingy?" You ask while inspecting a spear that apparently had some feature where it shoots a bolt of electricity.

"Essentially, yes. Anyways, we'll be moving out in thirty minutes, so gear up and meet us outside," The General said, waving and proceeding out of the firing range.

You grab two short swords, a shield, and throw the spear over your back after adjust the strap to your body. On your way out, you look into the mirror and mutter, "Fuckin' badass," ,before walking out of the range and towards the exit.

Literally 5 Seconds Later

"Time for you to meet the crew, Robin." Thunder Wing says, as he trots up to the first troop in line, which was a bat pony mare.
"This is Amira. Extremely talented marksmare, as well as the stealthiest member of SAiBr," Thunder says, before moving on to a Unicorn Stallion with very little hair as a mane and tail, as well as several scars over nearly every inch of his body. ",this is Ajax. He's the tank of the team. If you need something heavy moved or destroyed, he's your guy." He the made his way to the last one in like, which was an earth pony stallion which looked similar to Ajax, but you know. With hair and without scars. ",this is Lancaster. He's the team leader outside of the base, so listen to him at all times. Understood?" The general says, looking at you with a serious expression on his face.

"Sure thing, Grandpa," You say, earning a glare from the ponies that were supposed to be your new squad.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, because normally I'd bust your knee caps for a comment like that. Now get going before I decide to do exactly that." He threatens.

And with that, your squad begin marching off in the direction of the hive without a word being said, in which you take to following behind.

'-TO BE CONTINUED-'

Author's Note

Quick chapter before some of the action. Took maybe a good 15 minutes? I wasn't keeping track, but you'll notice some changes to the title, tags, and Chapter 1. So yeah, I guess thats its for now.

The Trip To Bug-topia

Your trek was long, hot, and rough. The terrain was rugged abd rocky, the heat was ruthless, and you've been walking for atleast two days.
You were struggling to stay on your feet, though the team seemed to have not been phased by the conditions at all.

"How far are we from the hive..?" You striggle to ask, your throat feeling as dry as the Sahara.

"About 32 to 40 Klicks. Thats about 18 miles, if you weren't sure." Lancaster said, If ee find somewhere safe though, we'll take a bit of a break. Not that I need it."

You groan and hand your head low. Joining these guys was a bad idea… You hopped on board for some action, not exercise!

"I see a cave up ahead, looks empty," The brute Ajax said. You never actually heard his voice before, but it wasn't as low and badass as you were hoping it'd be.

"Amire, check it out and give us the all clear when its safe," Lancaster says. Amire simply nodded, and flew off to the cave mouth, before dissapearing into the darkness of it.

"I call dibs on the comfiest spot in there… if there is one…" You grumbled. You hadn't gotten sleep for two days, so you'd sleep like a rock if you got the chance.

"Whoever finds it gets it. Not like there will be one anyways." Ajax says, turning around and bringing the pair of binoculars to his eyes, which he had strung around his neck. He was surveying the area, looking for anything of possible interest.

Minutes pass, and Amire emerges from the cave, waving you all over. You, Lancaster, and Ajax proceed to the cave.

"Welcome to my humble little abode, ladies! Make yourself at home." Amire chirps as you three had reached the cave, and began to enter.

It was cold, damp, and dark. Obviously. This didn't last long though, as Lancaster had pulled out some weird protable campfire thing, and lit some kind of grayish tinder. The cave was soon filled with light and a very faint, yet noticeable new warmth that radiated from the fire.

"Ahem," Lancaster clears his throat, gaining everyones attention. "From now on, I'm giving you all nicknames for while we're in combat. Just in case. Ajax, you're codename is now Alpha-Xray. Amire, Alpha-Echo. Robin, Romeo-November. You'll all adress me as LC. Understood?"

Ajax and Amire simply nod and give a quick salute, while all you managed to do was give a slight nod. You were on the verge of passing out.

You eventually found a spot to rest. Laying and closing your eyes, you slept.

The Very Next Day

"Get up sleeping beauty, breakfast is ready,"
A voice calls out.

"Hnng… five more minutes…" You groan, trying to stuff you face into a pillow… that wasn't there… "Wat..?" You half ask, half say as you slowly open up your eyes. Now you remember. You were in a cave.

"C'mon pal, we ain't saving any food if you don't take your share now." The familiar voice said. You looked up to the Amire, as she turned around and trotted to where the fire was made. There was a large pot and a thermos or two.

Instead of getting up, you crawl over to the others. You sat up and took the only other full bowl of… stew? Meat stew?

"I thought eating meat was frowned upon… whats this about?" You ask, while dipping the spork into the stew.

"On our last op, we were stranded behind enemy lines. We were starving, and without water," Lancaster explained, "We eventually found a river, in which we took water and boiled it down. It was near four AM when we decided we couldn't handle to hunger… so we sent Amire to the nearest town…" Lancaster went on to explain. "When she came back, she said the town was bursting with security, so she went on a little hunt... She brought back some small animals. Rabbits and what not." Lancaster paused before carrying on. "Ajax and I were hesitant at first, but Amire managed to convince us to eat the meat…
Needless to say, we stopped bring food on mission considering we can catch our own."

"…I didn't need a whole monologue… but hey, at least I'm back in familiar waters with meat.
You know, to me it sounds like Amire here does more work then both you and Hulk Hogan combined." You say, while slurping some delicious meaty soup.

"Hulk Hogan? I like that" Ajax spoke up, with a bit of a smile on his face. Well, you knew what his new nickname is gonna be.

"You'd be right to think that, Robin. Amire is a… very selfless mare most of the time. Always making sure her team is safe-" Lancaster was cut off by Amire-

-"Her friends. Making sure her friends are safe. Thats what I do." Amire said.

There was a moment of silence, until it was broken by Ajax.

" 'Friend' is a strong word, Amire. But I like the ring to it." Ajax said, with Lancaster nodding his head in agreement. You very quickly realised what was going on. These three were just team mates, not friends. Cute. A bunch of elite soldiers displaying their friendly affection to one another.

"…Aaaand as for me?.." You ask, feeling slightly left out.

"Oh come on!" Amire said, bumping your shoulder with her hoof. "We may have known you for only for a few days, but your apart of the team to, so that makes you my friend in my book!" She exclaims, with Ajax and Lancaster once again, nodding in agreement.

"Now that we've eaten up and had a good five minutes of bonding time, hows 'bout we continue our mission?" Lancaster asks, even though he wouldn't take no as an answer.

And with that, you all stood up and exited the cave. The sun was low, and the air was cool. Perks of waking up early, baby!

Author's Note

My pal made a bet that this chapter NOT INCLUDING the Author's Notes to be exactly 1000 words. And I did just that!

Man... I was planning on being at the hive already for this chapter, but I just keep pushing it back. Next chapter, we'll be there.
This one was to just talk a little more about the SAiBr squad and what not- -I was also lacking a creative spark, so thats also why this is here, and not a hive infiltration mission thingy.

I HOPE someone will read and likes this, cause its currently balanced out at 3:3 L/DL ratio, and it kinda bothers me, quite honestly.

See you next chapter? Maybe?