The Flash Sentry and FlashLight Story as Told by Luis from Ant-Man
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The Flash Sentry and FlashLight Story as Told by Luis from Ant-Man

So, let’s start with the first movie, alright?

We don’t actually get to see this, but before the movie even starts, Flash breaks up with Sunset Shimmer, and he’s all, “I’m sorry, girl, but it just isn’t working out between us. Adios.”

And the rest of the school is like, “Dang! Sunset Shimmer is going to murder him.”

But Sunset is all, “Boy, I don’t have time to deal with you. I can’t tell anybody this, but I’ve got to figure out how to take over Equestria.”

So, everybody is all, “What the hay?”

Then, the movie starts, and this crazy weird girl ends up crashing into Flash’s life, and she’s like crazy stupid weird. It’s like she’s never walked on two legs before. So, this crazy weird girl—her name’s Twilight Sparkle—trips in the hallway and crashes into Flash.

And Flash is all, “Hey, I’ve never seen you before, but I’m going to help you up because it’s the right thing to do. Bye.”

And Twilight Sparkle is all, “Dang, who was that nice, good-looking guy?”

The next day, Flash bumps into her again at the café, and she spills her drink all over him.

And Twilight is like, “Oh no! I spilled my drink all over the nice, good-looking guy’s shirt.”

But Flash is totally cool about it and helps her clean up the mess, and he’s like, “We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this.”

Then, Twilight is like, “Oh no! He’s cute.”

Then, Flash is like, “Oh no! She’s cute.”

Then, Rarity is like, “Girl, you better stay away from him, or else, Sunset Shimmer is going to murder you and leave your body in a ditch.”

So, Twilight is trying to get the school to vote for her to be Fall Formal Princess instead of Sunset Shimmer, and the next day, she and her friends put on this whole song and dance number.

They’re all like, “Make Canterlot High awesome again with friendship and stuff.”

And Flash totally gets into it, and he gets his band to give Twilight a little background music.

Flash is like, “Girl, I know we just met two days ago, and you’re kinda weird, but dang! I’m so voting for you.”

Well, Sunset is having none of that, so she sets Twilight up.

She’s like, “Twilight Sparkle trashed the gym, and now, we can’t have the dance.”

Flash sees Sunset setting Twilight up, and he’s like, “Aw, heck no.”

So, he finds these paper scraps in the library and shows them to Vice Principal Luna.

He’s all, “Somebody set Twilight up. She’s innocent, and these little pieces of paper prove it.”

And Vice Principal Luna is like, “Oh, I guess she is innocent. You’re free to go.”

And Twilight is all, “You saved my life. I’m eternally grateful.”

So, Flash is like, “Naw, girl, it was nothing. Hey, wanna go to the dance with me?”

Inside, Twilight’s heart is going, “Aw, heck yes!”

But then, she starts freaking out like, “I’m freaking out about something that has nothing to do with you, but I can’t tell you what I’m freaking out about.”

So, Flash is all, “What the hay?”

So, it turns out that Twilight Sparkle is a magical princess from Equestria, which is like this magic pony land on the other side of a magic horse statue, and that the crown for the Fall Formal Princess is her magic crown that Sunset stole from her, and she needed the dance to happen that night, so she can win and take the crown home, or else she’s stuck there for a crazy stupid long time.

So, Princess Twilight and her friends start fixing up the gym, and the rest of the school is like, “Your whole song and dance number on the magic of friendship totally inspired us to be better people, so we’re going to help you fix the gym.”

Flash and his band show up with the rest of the school, and he and Princess Twilight bump into each other again.

Flash is like, “Hi.”

And Princess Twilight is like, “Hi.”

So, everybody fixes up the gym and goes to the dance, and Flash is like, “I know you didn’t want to be my date, but can I still dance with you?”

And Princess Twilight is all, “Yeah.”

So, Princess Twilight gets voted Fall Formal Princess and wins the crown, but Sunset Shimmer steals it back and turns into this evil demon chick.

And evil demon Sunset is all, “I’m going to trash the school, brainwash everybody, and take over Equestria.”

So, Princess Twilight and her friends are all, “We’re going to stop you with rainbow friendship lasers.”

So, Princess Twilight and her friends rainbow laser Sunset back to normal, and Sunset is all, “Dang! I suddenly regret everything and want to be a better person.”

And Flash is like, “I know you have to go soon, but will you dance with me first?”

And Princess Twilight is like, “Yeah.”

So, Princess Twilight and Flash dance together, and Flash finds out that Princess Twilight is a real bad dancer, like really bad, like really, really bad.

But Flash is all, “Girl, you’re crazy stupid weird, but I like you.”

After the dance, Princess Twilight goes back home to Equestria and bumps into Equestria’s version of Flash.

And magic pony Flash is all, “We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this.”

And Princess Twilight is all, “Dang! Is this déjà vu?”

So, in the second movie, Canterlot High gets taken over by these evil, smoking hot singing chicks.

And these singing chicks are all like, “We’re going to brainwash everybody into hating each other and start a battle of the bands, so we can suck up everybody’s bad vibes.”

And Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight’s friends are all, “Aww, heck no.”

So, they bring Princess Twilight back over to help them stop the evil singing chicks.

And Flash is all, “Aw, yeah! My girl’s back to cheer me on.”

But then, he finds out that she’s actually there to help her friends, so he’s like, “I’m going to make you cry and say mean things about your friends because I’m brainwashed and not in control of my actions.”

So, then Princess Twilight is like, “I’m crying because I have no idea how to stop these evil singing chicks, and my guy is brainwashed and not in control of his actions.”

So, Princess Twilight and her friends try to rainbow laser the evil singing chicks with their music, but the evil singing chicks are all, “Heck no!”

Then, Princess Twilight is like, “Sunset Shimmer, we need you.”

So, Sunset is like, “Okay.”

So, Sunset Shimmer helps her friends rainbow laser the evil singing chicks, and they break the evil singing chicks’ magic necklaces, and everyone at the school goes back to normal.

And Flash is like, “Heck yeah! I’m not brainwashed anymore.”

So, he hugs Princess Twilight like, “Girl, you’re so crazy stupid awesome!”

And Princess Twilight is like, “Oh no! He’s still cute.”

And the FlashLight shippers are all, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

But then Trixie is like, “I’m going to totally ruin the moment. Oooh!”

So, the shippers are all like, “Dang, Trixie!”

Then, Princess Twilight goes home and doesn’t come back again, but there’s this other Twilight who is from the Canterlot High world who is all into science and stuff. Let’s call her Sci-Twi. Anyway, the third movie is all about her.

So, Sci-Twi goes to another school that is competing against Canterlot High in their version of the Olympics, but she’s like, “I don’t really care about these stupid games. I’m just here to figure out what’s making all the weird stuff happen.”

But then, Flash sees her and thinks she’s Princess Twilight, and he’s like, “Heeyy, welcome back, girl.”

And Sci-Twi is like, “Boy, I don’t even know you. Adios.”

So, Flash is like, “What the hay?”

So, Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer end up competing in the last round of the first event, and Sci-Twi wins.

Sunset’s friends are all, “Great job, Sunset! You didn’t win, but you’re still awesome.”

And Sci-Twi’s teammates are all like, “We’re mad because Sci-Twi made it to the last round instead of us.”

So, Sci-Twi sees Sunset’s friends cheering her on, and she’s like, “Dang! Why can’t I have friends who got my back and think I’m awesome?”

Then, Flash goes up to her and says, “Hey, I know you’re playing for the other team, but I just wanted you to know that you were awesome.”

But Sci-Twi is like, “You seem nice, but I’m too busy for you. Look at my hairdo. I’m all business.”

And Flash is like, “What the actual hay?”

And the FlashLight shippers go, “What the actual hay, Hasbro?”

So, then Sci-Twi finds out that Sunset Shimmer and her friends are magical girls now, so she tries to figure out how the magic works, but then, the magic turns her into this crazy demon chick.

And crazy demon Sci-Twi is like, “I’m going to rip reality apart because science.”

So, Sunset is all, “We’ve got to use our rainbow friendship lasers to stop her.”

So, Sunset blasts demon Sci-Twi into this random white dimension and says, “Girl, I can be your friend if that’s what you want.”

Then, Sci-Twi is like, “Okay,” and Sunset pulls them back out of the white dimension, and Sci-Twi turns back to normal and transfers to Canterlot High, so she can learn to make some friends and stuff.

So, in the fourth movie, Sci-Twi, Sunset, and their friends are going to camp with Flash and a bunch of other students.

And Flash is all, “Hey, girl, let me help you with your bag.”

And Sci-Twi is like, “Thanks, man. That’s real nice of you, but I still don’t know who you are.”

And Flash is like, “Dang.”

And the shippers are like, “Dang.”

So, at camp, there’s this this brother and sister who run the place, and the brother is all, “I’m Timber Spruce, and I’m the cool, fun one. You can tell because I make corny jokes and disagree with my dull, boring sister all the time.”

Well, Sci-Twi sees him and is like, “Oh no! He’s cute.”

And all the Flashlight shippers are like, “Aww, no.”

Then, Sci-Twi is all, “I’m going to give out a bunch of random facts about sapphires.”

Then, Timber Spruce is all, “Heeyy, I know a bunch of random facts about sapphires and stuff, so I’m going to talk nerdy to you to get you into me.”

And Sci-Twi is like, “Boy, I know I just met you, but dang! You talking nerdy to me is making me real into you.”

Which makes the shippers go, “Heck no!”

Then, Timber goes, “I’m going to save you from falling off the dock and then make some more corny jokes, so that I’ll look even more attractive and charming.”

Then, Sci-Twi is like, “Dang, man! You’re so attractive and charming.”

So, Flash sees them together, and he’s all, “Dang! Princess Twilight is gone forever, and I thought I could make a connection with Sci-Twi, but she likes some other guy, so now I’m all alone.”

And Sunset Shimmer is like, “Man, if you really love either of them, then you got to let them go.”

And Flash is like, “Dang, girl! That hurts.”

So, Sunset is like, “Just keeping it real, man.”

Later on, Flash says to Sunset, “You’re right. I should let them go,” but his heart is all, “I’m still hurting, but I’m going to let them go anyway because it’s the right thing to do.”

So, Sunset is like, “Aw, that’s great, man. Hey, can you give me advice on a problem that I really can’t tell you anything about?”

So, Flash is like, “Okay, I’ll try.”

But then, Sunset goes, “Ooh, dang! Sorry, man, but I suddenly got to go somewhere. I can’t tell you this, but I think Sci-Twi’s new man candy is evil.”

So, Flash is all, “What the hay?”

It turns out that Timber is not evil and that his sister was messing with some magic rocks that turn her into this crazy plant lady.

So, Sunset tells Sci-Twi, “Girl, we need you to help us rainbow laser the crazy plant lady back to normal.”

But Sci-Twi is all like, “I can’t. I’m still traumatized by that time that I turned into a crazy demon chick.”

But all her friends are like, “Girl, don’t worry about it. You’ll be totally okay this time because this time we got your back.”

So, Sci-Twi is like, “Okay.”

So, Sci-Twi rainbow lasers Timber’s sister back to normal, and the magic rocks give her and her friends superpowers, and they all use their superpowers to throw a dance party.

While everyone is at the dance party, Timber Spruce goes up to Sci-Twi all like, “My sister turned evil and stuff, and I didn’t really do anything this whole movie besides hit on you, but I’m going to act like some bigshot hero to get you even more into me.”

Then, Sci-Twi and Timber Spruce are about to kiss, so all the FlashLight shippers go, “AWW, HECK NO!”

But Timber’s sister ruins the moment before they can touch lips, and the movie ends.

Now, the FlashLight shippers are all, “Dang, Hasbro! I can’t believe that you sunk our ship like that. Now, we gotta put this dang ship back together with fanart and fanfiction. Thanks for nothing, dummy!”

So, then, Hasbro puts out a bunch of specials about Sci-Twi, Sunset, and their friends going to the movies and stuff, and Flash isn’t in any of them.

So, all Flash’s fans go, “Dang! You suck big time now, Hasbro.”

But then, Hasbro puts out a music video with Flash in it, which makes his fans go “Aww, heck yeah!”

In the music video, Flash is at the mall and he’s all, “Dang! I’m all alone, and no one cares about my problems, and I can’t even complain, or else, my haters are going to come after me.”

But then, Trixie comes in like, “I’m having trouble carrying my stuff for my magic show, and some of this stuff is really breakable. Oh no! I just dropped one of them.”

Then, Flash catches that really breakable thing that she dropped, and he’s all, “I know the last time we had a scene together we were trying to rip out each other’s throats, but hey, let me help you with your stuff.”

So, Trixie is all, “Dang! Flash being nice to me really made my day. It makes me want to be nice to the next person I see.”

So, Fluttershy comes in like, “Have you guys seen my rabbit?’

Then, Trixie is all, “Hey, I found him.”

Anyway, Fluttershy ends up helping the buff guy with the crazy big biceps who helps Sci-Twi who helps the DJ girl with the sunglasses who helps Rarity who helps Rainbow Dash who helps Sunset Shimmer.

And now, Sunset Shimmer is walking through the mall like, “Dang! These new shoes that Rainbow Dash got me are bomb, man. They’re so comfy and breathable and easy to move in. I can wear them all day.”

But then, she sees Flash sitting all by himself looking totally bummed out, and she’s like, “Dang! Flash is all alone, and nobody cares about his problems. I’m going to go have lunch with him because he’s a great guy who doesn’t get enough appreciation.”

Then, Sunset’s friends see her having lunch with Flash, and they’re all like, “Let’s have lunch with Flash because he’s a great guy who doesn’t get enough appreciation.”

Then, all of Flash’s fans go, “AWWWW, HECK YES!”

Then, Hasbro puts out a short where Flash is standing next to Sci-Twi for like three seconds, and the shippers go, “Aw, yeah!”

But then, the next couple of shorts are about Sci-Twi and her relationship with Timber Spruce, who is her boyfriend now, and the shippers are all “Aw, no!”

And Sci-Twi is all like, “This guy is my boyfriend now, but it feels like our relationship is just about me doing a terrible job of impressing him and the two of us having trouble communicating effectively.”

And Timber is all, “I’m just here to get mixed up in whatever crazy stuff is going on with Sci-Twi.”

And the shippers are all, “How are those two still together?”

But then, the next time we see Flash, he’s got this crazy fine haircut, like fine fine, like crazy stupid fine, and his fans are all, “Dang! Flash looks crazy stupid fine.”

Even his haters are going, “Dang! Flash looks crazy stupid fine.”

Then, Hasbro puts out this new special where Sunset goes to Equestria, and Equestrian Flash is there, and he’s all, “I’m just going to stand here in front of this library and totally freak Sunset Shimmer out.”

Then, when Sunset gets back to Canterlot High, Canterlot High Flash is like “I’m just going to randomly pull my car up into the parking lot just as Sunset Shimmer is running across.”

And all of Flash’s fans are like, “What the actual hay, Hasbro?”

Then, Hasbro puts out a bunch of shorts about the girls going to the beach, and Sci-Twi is all, “I’m looking for a sea monster that I don’t believe exists.”

And Timber Spruce, who is still her boyfriend, is all, “Heeyy, I’m a lifeguard now.”

Then, this sea monster comes up out of the water, and Timber is all, “I’m going to scream like a little girl and use my girlfriend as a human shield even though I’m literally getting paid to protect people.”

But Fluttershy’s like, “Yo, that’s not a sea monster. That’s just Pinkie Pie’s floaty.”

So, Sci-Twi looks at Timber like, “What the actual hay, man?”

And all the FlashLight shippers are like, “Haha, man, what a loser!”

So, the next time we see Flash, he is in a diner, and he’s all, “I’m just going to eat this grilled cheese sandwich and pretend that nothing is bothering me.”

But then, Pinkie Pie is like, “Hey, man, is something bothering you? I can tell because you’re eating a grilled cheese sandwich.”

And Flash is like, “Dang.”

It turns out that Flash is feeling nervous about a math test, so Pinkie Pie is all, “Yo, Sci-Twi, help this crazy stupid fine gentleman study for his math test.”

And Flash is all, “Dang.”

And Sci-Twi is all, “Dang.”

But Sci-Twi helps the guy study for his math test anyway, and they both have a good time, and the shippers go, “Dang! We love you, Pinkie Pie.”

So, the next time Flash and Sci-Twi are together, they’re in a school play playing an old married couple, which makes all their shippers go, “Heck yes!”

But, then one of the directors for the series puts out a tweet like, “FlashLight still isn’t canon, dummies. They’re just friends.”

So, then all the FlashLight fans are like, “Dang! I can’t believe you just blasted our ship like that and ruined everything again. Now, we gotta keep our ship going on fanart and fanfiction again. Thanks for nothing.”

Author's Note

Yeah, this story doesn't really have an ending, but then again, neither do any of Luis's. :rainbowlaugh: By the way, I'm just going to say this now. If you didn't read this in Luis's voice, you're doing it wrong. By the way, I threw in a few Ponies in a Nutshell references in there for a friend of mine (you know who you are). Also, that Toy Story reference felt too good to leave out. Let's see if you found them. Oh, and I cleaned up the language so that I wouldn't have to put it under the T rating.