The Pub of Chaos

I found myself pacing back and forth in a room with Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, Big Mac, Filthy Rich, and Zephyr Breeze. Where were we?

In the comisary.

Back from Applelachia, when I got to the pub, I found a completely surreal situation and soon the commissioner arrived with two officers and arrested us all.

Dash was talking to the commissioner who watched us from his desk while a stenographer wrote down everything we said. Well, actually I don't know what the hell was pointing, because Dash was just babbling, too nervous to say something coherent...

"Rainbow, wait, calm down and let me do the talking." Said Zephyr pretending to be brave, but suddenly he knelt in front of the commissioner's desk. "Please Commissioner, I have nothing to do with that dead man, don't put me in jail; I'll have to do a lot of weights there, and if I exercise I'll sweat and I'll have to shower, and when I'm naked I'm like a sweet caramel..."

I rubbed my temple trying to erase that image of Zephyr in the jail showers from my head, but it was useless.

"And more than you deserve, because of you I almost lost my business." Said Filthy Rich. "Mr. Chief, why is always good people who had to pay for others' mistakes? This looks like a witch hunt... "

"Good people, you?!" Big Mac yelled surprising us all. "Because of you I lost my shop, you scoundrel."

So they all got involved in an argument in which they almost came to blows, and the policemen watching in disbelief.

“Dammit, Sunset, I leave for a week and I find a dead body in my pub, a shootout, and on top of that they arrest me; If this is your idea for a surprise party, I'd rather you check with Pinkie or Cheese next time. " I said angry.

"Boss, I swear I had nothing to do with that." Said Sunset defending herself.

"Silence everyone!" Yelled the commissioner. The man, now in his 60s, addressed Rarity, who was sitting in one of the chairs without a word and with a worried expression. "Miss, you seem more reasonable, can you please tell me what you were doing with the corpse of a diplomat?"

"Uh? I don't know that Prench consul at all." Said Rarity rising from the chair like a spring. It was clear that she was nervous and couldn't hide anything.

"How do you know he was a Prench consul?" The commissioner asked questioningly.

Rarity was speechless. "Well... I suppose he was Prench because of his suit, I'm a fashionista, I know about those things, and I suppose he was a consul because he was always consul... ting?"

The commissioner stood up, visibly annoyed.

“Look, y'all think you're very funny, but no one is going to move from here until you tell me why there was a shooting in the pub, why you organized an illegal gambling game and, above all, what were you doing with the Prench consul's corpse."

"Well... we did what we always do." Rainbow Dash said laughing nervously.

“Look, stop this nonsense, I'll retire tomorrow and I have to go fishing in Vanhoover. So you can start telling me everything very clearly and from the beginning. " Said the commissioner sitting back down.

"From the beginning?" Dash asked sitting in front of the commissioner. "Well you see, I was the star athlete of the CHS, I had everything to succeed, I was awesome, well, I'm awesome..." the commissioner looked at Dash wondering if she was wavering him, the rest of us had a similar expression. "Oh, you're talking about the dead man and so, well I would go to the bathroom if I were you before because we have story for a while."

"I'm also interested in hearing it..." I said wanting to know what the hell had happened.

"Come on, everyone calm down." Filthy Rich said suddenly . “Mr. Commissioner, we are going to solve this between you and I, who are on to another level. You see, they travel by bus, we travel by car; they eat hamburgers, we eat ribeyes; they pay in cash, and we pay in checks like this. " Filthy Rich took checkbook and a pen from his chaquet. "Who do I make it out to?"

Maybe it was just my imagination, but I could swear the commissioner had steam coming from his ears.

"You're not trying to bribe me, are you?" He asked almost whispering and clenching his teeth.

"Well, that depends on whether you consider it a good idea or a bad idea." Said Filthy Rich looking scared at the commissioner. "And judging how your forehead vein is throbbing, I'd say it's a bad idea, so I'll leave you wondering."

The millionaire retired and put away his checkbook so as not to unleash the wrath of the policeman, a smart move if you ask me. The truth is, I didn't believe that Rich had the guts to do that.

"Let's see, can any of you tell me with a minimum of coherence what happened?" Asked the commissioner.

Rainbow Dash raised her hand and the commissioner gave her the floor. “You see, it all started this morning. I was in the casino playing craps with my husband when I was approached by the Prench consul, an older man with blue eyes well dressed and good looks, and he said 'mademoiselle, I'll give you a million dollars if you sleep with me'." Said Dash with a bad Prench accent. We all looked at Dash with a puzzled expression, the worst thing is that I could swear that I had seen that in a movie.

"But, that's An Indecent Proposal." Said the commissioner. Of course, I saw that before!

"That's exactly what I said." Dash replied.

"Rainbow Dash, darling, this is very serious." Rarity said suddenly. "We cannot continue lying, we have to go with the truth ahead."

I saw Rarity determined, apparently we were finally going to know the story. Or so we all believed...

“You'll see, I'm a fashonista, and I was introduced to the consul at a party. He told me that he would be interested in seeing some of my designs and that he had contacts in some of the most important magazines in Prance, so I met him to… show him my workshop. "

Well, I'm not a detective, but something told me that Rarity wasn't exactly telling the truth...

Rarity was dressed, or scantily dressed, in black lingerie. On the sofa in her place sat the Prench consul, admiring the woman in front of him.

"Oh la la, Cherrie, you know, do your best and you will have the doors of Prance open to you."

"I can't believe I'm going to do this…" Rarity thought as she crouched in front of the consul.

So Rarity took his already erect member out of his pants and began to lick and suck as much as she could.

The consul was ecstatic.

"Mon Dieu." He said.

Suddenly he began to gasp, but not like someone on the verge of orgasm would gasp. He put his hand on his chest and after a couple of convulsions he was struck down.

All of this before Rarity's gaze, who couldn't believe what had happened.

"From the face he made I think he was impressed with my work." Rarity said visibly nervous.

"Wait a minute." I said. “If he died with you, why the hell did you take him to my pub? Ask her, commissioner...

"Hey, I haven't spent my entire life studying the most complex criminal minds so that you come and tell me how to do my job." The policeman answered me. "Miss, why did you take the body to the pub?" Outstanding job, Columbo...

"Because I panicked and called the only person who could get me out of a mess like that..." Said Rarity, to which Rainbow Dash put on a proud smile. "But Applejack was working so I called Dash." Dash's smile faded and gave way to an expression of annoyance.

"That bitch..." She said mumbling.

They proceed with the story, although as we would learn later, omitting certain details...

Rarity received Rainbow Dash in a robe and explained her the situation.

"Goddammit Rarity, What do you mean he offered you money?" Dash asked nervously. "Are you a prosti...?"

"No, I'm not! It was only this time, I have had money problems and could lose the boutique. Hoity Toity introduced me and made me that offer… and look what happened. " Rarity said nervously.

“But, what were you thinking of bringing him to your apartment? That's what motels are for. " Said Dash.

"I couldn't, he's a consul." Rarity said screaming.

“A consul?! Who would bring a consul in his own house? It couldn't be someone else, it had to be a consul, and not just any consul... a REAL consul. " Said Dash rambling.

"You have no idea what a consul is, do you?" Rarity yelled.

"NO!" Dash replied laconically.

"Well, he's a very important Prench man, and nobody can find out that he is here."

"And if you don't want anyone to know, why are we yelling?" Said Dash.

"I don't know!" Rarity yelled starting to collapse. “I don't know... I just know that I killed him, with my bare hands… well, not exactly with my hands. But I killed him… ” Rarity started to sob.

Dash looked at the corpse of the consul, sitting on the couch and still with a visible erection.

"Easy there Rares, the only thing you're guilty of is that now they won't be able to close the lid of the coffin." Dash said laughing, but Rarity started to cry and threw herself on her couch. " Rarity, calm down, let's call the police and you'll see how they understand that you're not to blame for anything."

“No, not the police. Because then they will know what I was doing with the consul here, and then the press would come, they would call me a whore and no one would want to buy me dresses anymore, I would lose the boutique, my family would stop talking to me, and I would be forced to live in a shop window in the Red District of Neighsterdam… ” Rarity was losing control, but Dash slapped her.

"Rarity , calm down!" Dash yelled. "Ok, the first thing to do is think about what to do with the dead man."

"You're right, Sweetie Belle will be back from college in an hour." Said Rarity.

"Look, let's take him to my apartment, then we decide what to do." Rainbow Dash suggested.

"But what about Scootaloo?"

"Don't worry about her, Scoots will be in the pub all day helping Sunset, she won't come home until evening."

So the girls, as best they could, carried the consul's body to Rainbow's apartment. Rarity grabbing him by the shoulders and Dash by the feet.

"Damn, he weighs like a dead man." Said Dash, earning a reproachful look from Rarity . "Sorry, no pun intended. Damn, Applejack's never here when we need her."

The door was finally opened and the consul was left dead on Dash's couch.

"Are you sure he'll be okay here?" Asked Rarity.

"Don't worry Rares, no one will find out." Dash said, but suddenly someone came through the door.

"Rainbows!" Said a male voice. It was Zephyr Breeze. Fluttershy's brother was staggering and talking a little funny. "Listen, I was in the pub having a few beers when I realized one thing, you are the most amazing girl I know, so… go out with me!"

"Zephyr , are you drunk?" Asked Rarity who couldn't believe what she saw.

"Just a little... it's Rich's fault ." He said.

"Look Zephyr , under normal circumstances I would bother telling you to send you packing or make myself an excuse, but this is not a good time." Said Dash looking at him with distaste.

"Always the same story, what happens today?" He asked as the two girls tried to get him out of the place before he discovered the body, but it didn't work out… "but what the…?" Said Zephyr, pulling away from the girls and looking at the consul on the couch. "Oh, so that's it, you're with someone else... and what does he have that I don't?"

"Zephyr, seriously..." Rarity tried to say something but he was not listening.

"What do you think, that for having a suit and money you are better than me?" He continued addressing the dead man. "And the fucker doesn't answer me, now I'll teach you..."

And Zephyr went to the corpse and punched him in the face knocking him down to the girls' disbelief. Zephyr started kicking him until Dash and Rarity grabbed both his arms trying to stop him.

"What? Do the gals have to defend you? Don't you have blood in your veins? Are you dead or what is wrong with you? " Zephyr yelled at the corpse.

"Yes, Zephyr, yes, he is dead!" Rarity yelled .

Zephyr stopped, looked at the body, and reached over to touch it with his foot. When he didn't react, Zephyr jumped back.

"He's... he's dead." Said Zephyr without giving credit. "But why haven't you stopped me, fools?" Zephyr was getting scared. "Oh no, I am a monster, I'm a lethal weapon… I am a murderer!"

"I AM A MURDERER!" Zephyr Breeze yelled kneeling in front of the commissioner's desk. "Please mr. commissioner, don't send me to prison, I wouldn't survive three days!"

"Please, calm down, you didn't kill him, the guy was already more dead than your brain cells..." Said the commissioner. "Although that has confirmed to us that the bruises on the corpse were due to the beating you gave him."

"No, not all of them." Said Dash suddenly, which surprised us all. "But, think that transporting a corpse is like moving, there's always something that breaks; especially when we take into account the drunkenness Zephyr had."

"By the way, can you explain me why you were drunk at this time in the morning?" The commissioner asked, making Zephyr more nervous.

“Well… why do you think? Because I drank a lot. " Great Zephyr , great explanation. "But as far as I know getting drunk is not illegal, we are not in the 1920s... illegal would be... the illegal poker game Filthy Rich set up in the pub." He said pointing to the millionaire.

"Sunset, did you let Rich do an illegal poker game in the pub in broad daylight?" I asked surprised, she just smiled at me nervously. "For fuck's sake, those things are done in the backroom..." That's when I realized that I spoke more than necessary.

"What did you say?" The commissioner asked.

"Nothing! I was just rambling." I said trying to muddle through.

"Oh boy, you should stop drinking, Zephyr..." Said Rich giving Fluttershy's brother a death stare. "Let's see, it wasn't illegal gambling, it was a game between friends just to have fun, what basis do you have to say that was illegal gambling?"

"Maybe the fact that you bet my shop on!" Big Mac blurted out very angry.

"Your shop? You mean MY local. " Rich replied.

Mac and Rich started arguing and we all had to intervene to prevent them from coming to blows.

Wait a minute! You also bet a local?! " Snapped the commissioner.

The commissioner got up and walked over to where we were all.

“Ok, let's recap. You had a corpse. " He said pointing at Dash and Rarity . "The one you beat up while drunk." He pointed to Zephyr . "While you were ilegally gambling in this gentleman's pub, in which you lost your shop." He said pointing at Rich , Mac and me. "And this leads us to the conclusion of..." The commissioner stopped and his expression turned one of frustration. "THIS MAKES NO SENSE!"

"You're right commissioner, perhaps the best thing is that we leave and each one ponders on what he has done." I said trying to escape and everyone followed me to the exit door.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The commissioner yelled, stopping us short. "Nobody moves from here until I know what the hell happened." The commissioner sat back in his chair and addressed Rich. "Let's see, you, explain to me why you organized a poker game."

Filthy Rich sat in front of the commissioner and began to explain his side of events.

“You see commissioner, every successful businessman must master three fields: business, women, and poker. And, as expected, I'm an honorary doctorate in all three."

Filthy Rich was playing poker at the pub with Zephyr Breeze and Sandalwood and was making weird faces at Fluttershy's brother.

"Rich, we already told ya, in poker you don't have to sign." Said Zephyr laughing.

"That's right, besides, I would not make those gestures to Zeph, he is so needy that maybe he misunderstands." Said Sandalwood laughing.

"Ok, I'm done! If I wanted to waste time with cards I would believe in Tarot." Rich said angrily and throwing the cards on the table.

Zephyr looked at the cards and he was surprised. "Rich, you have poker." Zephyr said pointing at them . "You've won."

"Seriously?" Asked the millionaire surprised . "Yes! I knew this game was made for me." He said suddenly smiling haughty. "Sunset, bring these two a couple of beers, this round is on me to celebrate my triumph!"

Then Zephyr had an idea and whispered it to Sandalwood. “Sandal, are you thinking what I'm thinking? If every time he wins he buys us a beer… we're going to leave this place so wasted that we'll need a GPS to get back home." They both shook hands in agreement.

After several games, and several beers, Sandal and Zephyr were already visibly drunk.

“Come on Rich, show the beers, if you win you have to buy us to some cards; but I think it will be the last, because it gos to my feet and I understand don't when I sfeak... " Said Zephyr as he stretched his tongue like it helps him speak better.

"Well, I think this time I lost..." Said Rich showing his cards. "Even the best ones have to lose sometime..."

"No Rich... you've won..." Said Sandal also as drunk as Zeph. "Look, you have a 3, a 4, a 7, a Jack, and an Ace!" He said pointing to the Ace of Spades. “This is a hot dog! This is the best hand, they even ban it in Las Pegasus casinos. Lucky bastard!"

"Seriously?" Said Rich happily. “Well guys, you know what they say, unlucky in cards… shame on you! Sunset, please give Lord Failure and Mister Defeat two more beers." And while laughing, Rich went to the toilet.

"Hot dog? Really?" Asked Zephyr laughing.

"What else, man? I'm kinda hungry." Said Sandal.

Zephyr and Sandalwood walked to the bar laughing, where Sunset poured two more beers for them.

"No Sandal, I can't drink anymore." Zephyr said as Sandalwood offered him the glass. Zephyr finally accepted it, but after taking the first sip he spat it out. "You see? I'm full." They both laughed, satisfied with the trap they set on Filthy Rich. “Seriously, I've never had so much free beer. This is the best day of my life!" Suddenly Zephyr looked sad. "Or it would be if it weren't because I'm missing something..."

"Easy Zeph, I'll bring some joints for both later." Said the hippie as he drank his beer.

"No, it's not that, but I will take your offer." Said Fluttershy's brother. "It's just since your sister left I feel empty... maybe I should try my luck with Rainbow Dash again."

"Zeph man, we've already talked about it, you're more likely to win a nobel prize than Rainbow Dash notices you."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to tell her something... "

"Wait, Zephyr , you're not going to tell what we already know again, are you?" I said interrupting him.

"Hey Bourbon, you weren't there, I was, and I can tell you as is."

"Wowowo, Zephyr, did you forget how drunk you were?" Said Rainbow Dash.

"She's right, I'd better tell this." Said Rarity.

"Yes please." I said.

Zephyr was sitting on the couch, using the Consul as a puppet. A somewhat sick sight, worthy of a video from the Deep Web.

"Hello Zephyr, how d'you doing?" Zephyr said imitating a high-pitched voice. "Nothing, here, deciding what to do with you."

"Zephyr! Could you not be an idiot for once in your life? Don't you have any respect for the dead? " Asked Rarity pissed off.

"I got it! We will carry the corpse away from here and leave him in another place. Since he died from a heart attack, he could have it anywhere." Said Rainbow Dash suddenly.

"Anywhere she says..." Zephyr laughed at Dash's comment. "Look Dash, I'm not a physician, but it's called a heart attack because it hits the heart, not the leg." Rarity and Dash looked at each other. "Let's see what we do with this guy, because he looks like he weighs like a dead man."

Zephyr laughed at his dark joke.

“Very good Zephyr, you do what you do best: nothing. Dash, darling, let's see how we handle this before we all end up in jail." Said Rarity retiring with Rainbow to her room.

"I don't do anything, she says, you'll see, you and I are going for a little walk, I'll solve this in two shakes of a lamb's tail." He said talking to the dead man; then he got up, took out his phone and dialed the contact. "Yo Sandal, It's me... Zephyr, man... hey, do you still have that hippie van... damn, always your sister... Well, look, I need a spacious vehicle..."

Zephyr stepped out into the common hallway on Rarity's floor, while she and Dash exited her room.

“No darling, Big Mac won't give us his pickup; Applejack told me that once she requested it to go see Thistleweed and he said: 'Nope, I'd rather they ride my ex-girlfriend than my truck.' Said Rarity.

"Oh Rarity, my innocent and young Rarity, who's talking about asking him? We are going to "borrow" it to make a delivery. Trust me, there's no way this could go wrong." Said Rainbow Dash sure of herself.

"So, in other words, you not only moved a body without a judge's permission, but also stole a vehicle to do so. That is, you committed a second crime to do the first." Said the commissioner.

"You robbed Big Mac's truck?" I asked without giving credit.

“Hey commissioner, if we were committing one crime, how can you commit another at the same time? As far as I know, no one can be in two places at the same time." Zephyr said as if he had come to a conclusion worthy of a genius. I just patted my forehead.

"You know? You're lucky they're cleaning my gun." Said the commissioner angrily. "Ok, Did you steal Big Macintosh Apple's vehicle or not?"

"Look commissioner, I'm sorry , but I don't allow you to doubt these ladies." Said Big Mac defending Rarity and Dash. However, I noticed how they looked away and shrugged nervously. "Maybe they were desperate, but I know them and they're honest people, they're my friends, and they are..." Big Mac was rummaging in his pockets, but he stumbled against the truth. “They are two bitches who stole my keys! How in the Hell could you've robbed a friend?" He yelled looking at the girls with more disappointment than anger. Especially towards Rainbow Dash.

"Easy Big Mac, easy." Said Filthy Rich inviting Big Mac to sit down. “I'll explain it to you, Mr. commissioner, as a good collaborator of the forces of law and order. Even if you don't need it, for someone in your category solving the Kennedy assassination would be a piece of cake." Rich kept battering the commissioner.

"I hate bootlickers." The policeman replied.

"So do I, so do I, totally agree with you..." Rich said intimidated. "You see, I was in Bourbon's pub playing a game with Sandalwood, a young man for whom I have a lot of love and respect..."

"Sandal, you looser!" Said Filthy Rich mocking the hippy. "What a game, I think you're going to have to put down the joints, they're driving you dumb. Another game?"

"No, no; I don't want to play anymore… I can't take another drop of beer… ” Said Sandal exhausted.

“Well, look on the bright side, since you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. Now, if you had money… ”Suddenly Rich had an idea. "That's right, what am I doing playing with a loser like you, when I could be playing with a loser with money?"

Sandalwood's cell phone rang and he answered the call.

"Yeah?... Who is 'me'?... Zephyr, bro!... No, my sister has the van... well, that may be a problem... Look, I'll try to get you a vehicle, but I don't know if it'll be easy… ” Sandal hung up and turned to Big Mac who was paying for a coffee to go back to his shop. "Hey Mac, will you lend me your pick up, please?"

"Nope, Sandal , I'd rather they ride my ex-girlfriend than my truck." The farmer replied.

Meanwhile, Filthy Rich looked around, deck of cards in hand, wondering who he could get for some gambling. Customers were consuming, in and out, until he noticed an individual at the bar who wanted to pay.

"Excuse me miss, do you have change for a coffee? I only carry $100 bills. " At that moment Rich thought he had found his prey.

"Sunset, forget that, I invite this gentleman." Said Rich approaching in a friendly way. "Save that money for more important things, like for example... a game of poker with me?"

"No, thanks, I already mess with Monopoly enough to bet on poker." Said the man. "Besides, ain't that illegal?"

"Well, illegal... you don't have to stick to the laws one hundred percent either. This is a game between friends. Filthy Rich." He said introducing himself. "And you…"

"Spades." The man said shaking his han . "But don't insist Rich, this money is for my wife, so she can go dancing."

"Ah, the whims of the missus, I've already been through that..." He said remembering his ex-wife. "And what did the lady want? A necklace? A purse?"

"An orthopedic leg." Spades replied leaving Rich looking like an idiot.

"Oh... well, think that if you win you can buy seven legs, one for each day of the week."

“Well, since you put in that way… what the hell! Let's go gambling!" Said Spades finally convinced.

They both walked to the table and Spades hung his coat on one of the chairs.

“How much do you use to bet on this game? One hundred dollars?" He said as he started to shuffle.

"No, man, how are we going to start with a hundred bucks?" Rich said , thinking it was crazy, but suddenly, seeing how the cards slipped from his hand, he saw his scam clear as water. "We start with 200." Rich put the bills on the table, grinning wickedly.

"Okay." Said Spades.

Suddenly the guy cut and shuffled the cards like a professional dealer would. Leaving Rich surprised and a little scared.

After an hour of departure, Rich had lost $ 5,000 just like that.

"Well, we're done." Spades said smiling.

"I hope you don't spend it all in implants because otherwise your wife is going to look like a centipede." Rich said visibly angry. "Hey, will you at least grant me a rematch?"

"Yes, no problem." Said Spades very confident.

"Great, I'll be back soon." Rich said getting up from the table. "Every gambler worth his salt has an ace up his sleeve, and mine is a farmer, redhead, and has a shop."

A few minutes earlier, at Big Mac's store, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were planning how to steal the keys from Applejack's brother.

“Well, here's the plan, we distract Big Mac and quietly take the keys from him. And better hurry, Zephyr will be with the consul soon. " Said Rainbow Dash.

Meanwhile, Zephyr carried the body on his back and was next to the stairs to the first floor.

"Shit, you could go on a diet now." He said while leaning him on the railing. "Now let's see how I get you down."

To Zephyr's carelessness , the body slipped and fell down the stairwell into the hall.

"Oops... Don't move I'm coming down now!" He screamed as if the dead man could hear him.

Fortunately for Zephyr there was no one downstairs so he was able to go unnoticed.

At the store, Big Mac had just come out of the storage room and ran into the two girls leaving their keys on the counter.

"Big Mac, how are you? Attending in the store, right? Sure, you work here… ” Said Rarity getting nervous.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said with a shrug.

"Can you pass me one of those bottles of milk you have behind you?" Rarity asked .

Big Mac turned around, and just as they reached for the keys Big Mac turned again.

"Medium or large?"

"Large."

"Cow or sheep?"

"I don't know... sheep?" Rarity said .

"Sorry, I don't have sheep's milk."

Both girls were left wondering why he offered it if in the end he didn't have it.

"Oh, well, I'll have to have something else for breakfast I guess... What was that thing you take so long to get out of the storage room?" Rarity asked .

"I don't know, a potato sack?" Said Mac not knowing what was going on.

"That! I just mistake it with... tomato. " She said looking at the shelf of tomatoes. "Look, potato, tomato, potato, tomato, potato, tomato..."

"Ok... be right back." Said Big Mac puzzled.

The older Apple went to the warehouse but not before taking the keys with him.

"Good job Mata Hari..." Said Rainbow Dash.

“I'm sorry I was nervous… I guess I didn't focus on it the way I should. I will have to use my feminine wiles. " Said Rarity making a femme fatal face.

Rainbow Dash turned pale upon hearing that. "Wowowo, you're not thinking of seducing Big Mac, ain't ya?"

"Why not? I cannot think of anything else."

"But... think of Applejack, what would she say if she found out that you tried to pick up her brother?" Said Rainbow Dash trying to stop her.

“Well, not exactly pick up… just flirt a little to distracting him, as you well said. Besides, I am the best qualified for that."

"What do you mean?" Dash said looking at Rarity questioningly.

"Well darling you... I don't think you could do it, you're not feminine enough for Big Mac to notice you." Said Rarity.

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow was visibly angry , but even if she didn't want to admit it, more out of jealousy than for what looked like an insult. Rarity had hurt her pride and was going to make amends. “I'll show you what I can do. Get out, I'll have the keys in ten seconds flat."

Rarity almost shoved out while Dash waited for Big Mac. A few minutes later he came out carrying a sack of potatoes over his shoulder.

"Here it is, Rarity." Said Big Mac, but Rarity wasn't there. "Where's Rarity? Tired of waitin'? " Rainbow just shrugged. "Well Rainbow, do you want a sack of potatoes?"

"Nope, I want something else, I have noticed the flagship product of this store, the tastiest, and I'm not going to go without it." She said in a seductive tone.

"Eeyup, I knew you couldn't resist?" Said Big Mac smiling. "Perfect then, I'll get you a box of six bottles of cider at half price, and for you one more bottle as a gift."

Rainbow was surprised at that answer and thought that maybe it was going to be more difficult than she thought. "No Big Mac, actually, I preferred another type of Apple." Said Rainbow reaching over and patting Big Mac on the chest. "I'm unable to resist being without you for so long ." Rainbow spoke to him with a sweet tone very unlike her.

"Eyup?" Said Big Mac surprised.

Slowly, Rainbow Dash went down until she grabbed the keys, but suddenly Big Mac pushed her away.

“No, Dash, we cannot behave like animals. We have to control ourselves a bit. Remember that time at the pub…” Big Mac said calming down.

“Control? How can I control myself if I wake up in the middle of the night whispering your name?" Dash grabbed Big Mac by the lapel of his shirt and pulled him close to her. "Then I start to sweat, and pant... and I hug the pillow thinking about your body and these hands that caress me and turn me on me like a mare in heat." Said Dash said as she ran her hands over Big Mac's body.

"Eeeeeeyup ." Big Mac said grabbing Dash by the hips. "I also do things with the pillow thinking of you Dash."

"Then what are you waiting for, big man?" She yelled.

Big Mac grabbed Rainbow and held her up like the potato sack. "To the storage room."

They both went to the warehouse, but after five minutes. Rainbow Dash came out with a triumphant expression and the keys in her hand. Right after her, Big Mac came out with his pants down but his boxers on.

"Maybe a little over ten seconds, but it's still fast." Dash thought triumphantly.

"But Dash , you promised me sex!" He screamed trying to compose himself , but stumbled to all fours. "You promised me... sex." Just when he finished the sentence he found Filthy Rich in front of him who was looking at him strangely.

"And then you wonder why Sugar Belle left you." Said Rich. "Get up, and pull up your pants." Big Mac listened. "Mac, pay me the rent."

"But I did pay you three days ago." Mac said puzzled .

"Yeah... I mean next month's rent." Said Filthy Rich. "Look, Mac, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't an emergency, but my mother is very ill."

"Wow, sorry. What d'she got?" The surprised farmer asked.

“Well… she has such a poor prognosis that they don't even tell me. I just need the money."

Mac agreed and went to the register to give Rich the next month's rent .

Meanwhile, Dash ran into Rarity on the street and they fetched Big Mac's pickup from a nearby underground parking lot, hoping Zephyr could do a good job keeping an eye on the dead man.

"Did you cheat on your tenant to have money to bet?" The commissioner asked Filthy Rich.

"Well, if you said like that, it sounds pretty bad." Said the millionaire.

"Holy shit, because it is really bad!" I said without being able to believe it.

"And what happened next?" The commissioner asked.

Hours later Zephyr was on a bench in the street with the corpse of the consul, which gave the impression of being asleep.

Just then a girl passed in front of them and Zephyr looked at her ass.

"That ass!" He yelled in a deep voice. The girl whirled around indignantly. "Hey ! How do you say that to the lady?" Zephyr said giving the corpse a slap. "Forgive my friend, he is ashamed of himself."

The girl just walked away and Rarity and Rainbow Dash just came running.

"Zephyr, are you moron? Why don't you put some neon lights on it and a sign that says 'Dead Consul'? " Said Rarity.

"Because that's how the whole world would find out." He replied.

"That's what it's about, you fool, that nobody finds out." Said Dash.

"Well, let's put him in the truck and get this over with." Said Rarity. "But please, with discretion."

“Don't worry Rares, nobody beats me discreetly. I was used to hook up with Soarin in my room while my parents watched TV." Said Rainbow Dash helping Zephyr carry the dead man.

Once they put him in the truck, they closed the door and prepared to leave.

"Great, Zephyr, do you have the briefcase?" Asked Dash.

“No, I don't carry a briefcase. Well once, the time I ripped off Rich, but I paid him back." Said Zephyr.

“The consul's, you idiot. Please tell me you haven't left it at my place."

"It's not at your place." He replied.

"Good, where is it?"

"At your place." Rainbow was thinking about adding another corpse to the truck. "But you told me not to tell you."

“You… Rarity, let's get the briefcase. Zephyr, you watch the truck, and please don't fuck up this time." Said Dash leaving with Rarity.

At the same time Big Mac was standing in the pub at the table where Rich and Spades were playing.

"Well, your mother's problem must be serious, because instead of a child she gave birth to a vermin." Said Big Mac. "How come you ask me for money to bet on cards?"

"Look Mac, don't be like that, technically this money is also mine." Said Filthy Rich. “What difference does it make to you to give it to me now than in a month. After all, you don't lose anything."

"I call, $ 12,000 against the redhead's shop." Said Spades putting the money on the table.

"What!? You're betting my shop? " Yelled Big Mac.

“Well, 'your shop', technically the local is mine. I decide what to do with it."

“Seriously Rich, I didn't imagine you could come to this. Come on, bet my shop, play with my future, I can't explain how you…” But Big Mac stopped when he saw something outside the pub that surprised him. "Wait a minute, what is my pickup doing there?"

Big Mac went out to steal his truck. Next to him was Zephyr eyeing his cell phone.

"But, if I parked it two blocks down..." Said Big Mac.

"Well, I don't think that's the case. Otherwise it wouldn't be here. Are you calling me a liar? " Said Zephyr nervously.

"Nope, but is that..."

“But, but, but… Big Mac, you're acting weird lately. Then you ask why Sugar Belle left you."

“Again… look Zephyr, I'm sorry; it's just today I have an awful day, first they tease me, and now Filthy Rich is betting my business on poker."

Zephyr laughed. “Bet it, he's giving it away; Rich has no idea about playing poker."

"But if he has no idea why is he betting it?" Big Mac asked scared .

"Ok, you see, you're going to laugh your ass of." He said approaching Big Mac. “It turns out that this morning Sandalwood and I cheated on Filthy Rich, we let him win at poker because every time he won he invited us to beer, but the moron can't tell the difference between a full house and a bouquet of flowers. " Zephyr said laughing. "So say goodbye to your store because Rich is REALLY bad."

Big Mac was left speechless and looking like he had seen a ghost.

"Although, for you, that you could loose your job wouldn't be that funny."

Both were so focused on their things that neither noticed that the Pick Up had started and was leaving. Big Mac ran to the pub and Zephyr turned around to watch the truck go.

"Hey, don't leave me here!" Shout.

"Zephyr, what have you done?" Said Dash who appeared with Rarity.

"What have I done? What about you? You left without me." Suddenly Zephyr realized the situation. "Wait, you're here, then it must have been the dead guy, who was not dead and has gone away..." They both looked at Zephyr with grimaces. "Wait, that doesn't make sense... ok, I've run out of ideas."

"Did they steal the pickup that you stole from me with a dead body inside?" Big Mac asked without giving credit.

"Holy crap!" Said the commissioner. “So, first you're sexually harass and left horny, then they steal your vehicle to transport a corpse and on top of that he bet your business on an illegal poker game. Hey, out of curiosity, what makes you think these people are your friends?"

"And we haven't told you what his ex-girlfriend did to him." I said without avoiding laughing .

Nope , the problem is that when you're good they take you for a fool." Said Big Mac.

Once again an argument broke out between everyone, until Sunset intervened.

"Shut up! Something's wrong with the commissioner… ”She said pointing at him.

The commissioner had buried his head in his hands. “Shit… I'll never solve this case. I will never be able to retire, or go fishing. " He said sobbing.

“Don't say that, mister, you are a great cop; and will solve this case with our help." Said Rainbow Dash.

"Look, if you really want to help me, please tell me what happened." The commissioner said making a pleading gesture with his hands.

Big Mac stormed into the pub and headed for Rich's table.

"Rich , I'm not going to let you continue this!" Said Mac, grabbed a bunch of cards, threw them on the ground and stomped on them. "That's right, now whith which cards are you going to play now?" He said believing that he had achieved something.

"With these, those were the discards." Said Rich pointing to another bunch. "And don't bother me, I'm winning. Come on Spades, show me what you got." He said making hand gestures.

"Well this time you got me Rich... I only have a pair." Spades said throwing the cards on the table in frustration.

"Rich, you won!" Said Big Mac. "Good thing… I could already see myself playing the banjo on the subway to make ends meet."

"Of course Mac, I wouldn't bet your shop if I didn't have a good hand, do you think I'm an idiot?" He said and began to show him his cards. “Look, a 3, a 4, a 7, a Jack and an Ace. Sunset ! Your hair is like ketchup and mustard, it matches with my hot dog." Rich said laughing, but no more than Spades. A contrast to Big Mac's expression of horror.

"Hot dog?" He said almost in a whisper. "You fool! That's worth nothing. Sandal and Zephyr tricked you! They were letting you win so you buy them beers, and now you've lost my store…” Big Mac was about to cry.

"You mean MY store." Said Spades triumphantly.

Rich began to have a tic in his eye and the vein in his neck began to swell. "What? You mean because of those shitty morons I have been ruined? " Rich got up from the chair. "I kill them, I kill them!"

Big Mac held onto Rich and tried to calm him down.“ Rich, please go wash your face and calm down. Let me handle this."

Filthy Rich adjusted his tie and went to the toilet while Mac called Spades' attention for a chat. They both approached the bar and Big Mac explained the situation to Spades.

“Look, I won't lie to you, Rich has a lot of money, and we have two friends who are quite scroungers and like to drink for free. That's why they tricked Rich into thinking he was winning at poker so he could buy them beers. So the bet is worthless." Big Mac laughed and Spades laughed too. "What a silly mistake, huh? They go crazy, they don't know what they're doing."

"What a coincidence." Spades said laughing. "It turns out that I have a cousin whoalso goes crazy and doesn't know what he's doing." Spades put his hand on Big Mac's shoulder. "So if you don't want to start walking with your balls, you're already paying me what you owe." Something that scared Big Mac is that Spades didn't lose his smile. That gesture told him that the guy was serious, so he slowly withdrew.

Filthy Rich came out of the bathroom, her face still damp and wiping her neck with a handkerchief.

"Well, have you reached an agreement?" Rich asked Big Mac.

"Eyup. You pay him fast and we can keep our legs…” Said Big Mac scared.

"Hold on a second." Said the commissioner suddenly. "Your attempt to pay off the debt won't have to do with the complaint filed by Stinkin' Rich's widow for the theft of her jewelry, right?"

"What?" Said Filthy Rich. "Look, I'm not leaving because I'm in custody, but are you implying that I have gambled with the family assets? That I have stolen my own grandmother? That I have put a price on her memories? Please, sir… ” Filthy Rich looked very outraged. However, it did not go unnoticed by me that it was all just a facade...

"Just that for all the jewels?" Rich asked as he spoke on the phone sitting on a pub stool. “Hey, what if I add two golden teeth to the price? Hello?" Whoever Rich was talking to hung up. "Shit, I already knew the old woman's jewelry was cheap plastic..." Rich said taking a long sip of his whiskey glass.

"Bravo, Rich." Said Big Mac being sarcastic. "First you gamble my business at poker, now you steal your grandmother... you would be a mobster better than Lucky Luciano."

Rich looked with disdain at Big Mac. "Sure, how easy it is to see everything when you have nothing to lose, but you're always thinking about your things..."

"My things?!" Screamed Big Mac. "And now that you've lost my store, what's suppose to be my things?"

"Collateral damage, I remind you that I have lost a local and a lot of money." Rich was trying to make excuses, but even he knew he really screwed up. "Look Mac, I only did what anyone would do when they see a fool with money: try to scam him, but in the end I was the scammer scammed..."

Suddenly Sunset reacted and came up with a plan.

"Of course, that's it! Hey, have you watched The Sting? " Asked Sunset.

"Sunset no offense, but I'm not in the mood to watch movies with you." Said Rich.

"That's not what I mean, listen, I have a plan, we just have to..." Suddenly Sunset was interrupted by Mac.

"Wait, ain't that our street on the TV?" He asked.

On television there was a reporter speaking on camera about the disappearance of a Prench diplomat.

"...according to statements by the Prench embassy, the consul could have been the victim of a kidnapping, which would seriously complicate diplomatic relations with Prance." The reporter pointed to the pub behind her. “In this pub here, the consul could have had his last café-au-lait."

Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Zephyr were in Dash's apartment watching the news in horror. Rarity was sitting on the couch biting her nails and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Shit... now the whole police must be looking for us." Said Rarity. “And all because of you Zephyr! You've lost him! " She yelled at Fluttershy's brother.

"Hey, hold on a second, what's the problem?" Asked Zephyr. "What did you want? Get rid of the corpse. And what did the Zeph do? Get rid of it. Mission accomplished!" Zephyr was the only one who seemed concerned. "And now, to thank me, Rainbow, what if you and I…?" Zephyr couldn't finish the sentence.

"Look Zephyr, if you aspire to be a father one day I would recommend you not to finish that sentence." Said Dash with a murderous look. "Ok, focus, let's think, how many pick up trucks can there be in Canterlot?"

"I don't know, darling... 10,000?" Said Rarity. "Please, Rainbow Dash, the next thing you'll say is that the thief is coming to give it back to us."

Suddenly the bell rang, surprising everyone. Zephyr went to open the door and found Sandalwood.

“Hey Zeph, I borrowed the truck you asked for. But there's a problem." Said the Hippy. "You won't believe it, but it has a dead body inside."

Everyone's eyes widened.

"Either is the biggest coincidence ever, or we have our thief..." said Zephyr .

Meanwhile in the pub, Filthy rich was holding a briefcase tightly like a baby. Beside him were Big Mac and Sunset .

"I can't do this guys, I'm very nervous, and when I get nervous my lip starts to tremble and..."

"Rich, please calm down." Said Sunset. "Relax, you'll see how everything works well."

"Eyup, trust me, just act like the money is in the briefcase." Said Big Mac.

"Sure, if you didn't know how to get your girlfriend back, how are you going to get your store back?" Said the millionaire.

At that moment Spades entered the pub.

"Wow, it ain't Filthy Rich, the poker wizard, who draws the cards and the money disappears." Said Spades laughing and noticing the briefcase. "I suppose the papers and money are in there."

"Of course, here it is." Said Rich placing the briefcase on the bar and patting it. "Every little thing. What do you think? That we've filled it with newspaper clippings and a magazine, and… ” Rich trailed off because Sunset kicked him.

"Hey, don't you have a sense of honor? Won't you give a man a chance to get his business back? That he raised him out o' nowhere with just a little money, products from his farm and lots of enthusiasm… are you going to deny me a rematch?" Said Big Mac stopping Spades.

Spades seemed to think so, but only answered a terse "Yes."

Big Mac held the briefcase. “Wait, what is it? Are you a chicken?" Big Mac began to imitate a chicken, which did not seem to intimidate Spades.

"Two. Things." Spades said holding up two fingers . “First, that sounded like a turkey. And second, you have nothing that interests me."

"Maybe I'm not, but what if I bet Rich's Barnyard Bargains?" Said Big Mac.

"In that case, we have a bargain." Said Spades ready to play.

Filthy Rich froze. “Wait, Mac, you're not betting Barnyard Bargains. Bet something yours, like your store… ” Rich fell suddenly. "Don't bet Barnyard Bargains!"

“Relax Rich, this is a won game. We have him where we wanted him. " Said Big Mac.

After starting the game, they both showed their cards. And Big Mac looked in horror at the hand Spades put out.

"Four... He has a four aces." Said Big Mac.

"And, is that good or bad?" Asked Rich.

"Let's say if you want something from the Barnyard you're going to have to pay for it..." Said Sunset.

"Big Mac, have you lost the store that my grandfather build up?" Asked Rich very annoyed.

"You mean MY store." Said Spades with a triumphant look.

"My father's gonna kill me... but first I kill you." Said Filthy Rich angrily. "You ruined me, will you tell me what we do now?"

"Well, for now, give me the deeds of both places." Said Spades.

Rich and Mac didn't know what to say, they just fell silent as the millionaire's lower lip trembled.

Meanwhile, Rarity, Rainbow, and the rest went down to the street to check on the condition of Big Mac's truck and its unusual passenger.

Rarity ran to open the door and smiled in relief when she saw the corpse of the consul.

"My goodness, I never thought I'd be so happy to see a dead man." She said.

"Come on, let's go fast." Dash said getting into the driver's seat and trying to start the vehicle. "Shit, it won't start!"

"Of course, it doesn't have gas!" Said Sandalwood. "Whoops, I forgot to say it."

"Oh this is the worst. Possible. Thing. What do we do now?" Said Rarity.

Suddenly a siren was heard and the blue lights of a patrol car appeared around the corner.

"The cops!" Yelled Zephyr.

They all ducked, consul included, to avoid being seen.

At the pub, Filthy Rich was sadly handing over the deed to the store his grandfather opened several years ago.

“Here you got the deed of THREE generations of hard work. The beginning of an empire." Said Rich on the verge of crying. "This may be the Fall of Rome for me."

“Damn, Rich, that's beautiful. I almost started crying. " Said Spades panting Rich's shoulder. "If it weren't for the joy I get from having won two buissiness in one afternoon." Spades began to laugh triumphantly.

"Yes, laugh, you may have my money and my business, but there is something you will never have, the trust and affection that the Rich name has left in people."

"Filthy Rich, you bastard!" Said suddenly a long-haired guy entering the pub. “Five years waiting for you to pay me for the reform of your Barnyard Bargains. My house is getting foreclosed on because of you, you fucking defaulter, I want my money!"

“Look, I don't allow you to come here and insult me like that! I don't have time to hear the nonsense of a jerk like you." Filthy Rich yelled. However, the long-haired man pulled out a pistol and pointed it at him. Rich, just raised his hands in surrender, Big Mac and Sunset hid behind the bar and Spades behind a table. "Ok with good manners we can understand each other."

"Enough of that bullshit, where's my money?"

"Look, I understand that the debt has to be paid by the owner of the store, but the owner is that guy who has hidden behind the table." Rich said pointing at Spades. The long-haired man pointed the gun at him.

"Who, me? No way." He said very nervous. “I'm not even the owner of my life. That big man hiding behind the bar bet the store and I won it." The long-haired man changed white and Big Mac pulled out a rag like a white flag.

“Please don't shoot, I can't pay you with anything." Big Mac said very nervous. "It's all that man's fault, he bet and loose my business."

"Shut up! Who has the gun? You have it?" Said the man. "Oh, right! I have it. Well, silence, if somebody says something else I'll kill him."

On the street, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Zephyr, and Sandalwood were trying to transport the corpse of the consul while avoiding the occasional policeman who patrolled the streets.

At first glance it seemed that they were carrying a drunkard.

"Let's go to the pub, before the police catch us. Hurry up!" Said Dash.

The group entered the pub, only to find a Dantesque scene.

"Oh no, he has a gun!" Rarity yelled at the sight of the long haired man.

"Quiet! Hands up, I'm crazy fucker!" The armed guy yelled.

He pointed at the group, causing them to raise their hands and thereby releasing the consul's body, which fell to the ground like a sack of wheat. Sandalwood ran off and the rest stared at the consul's corpse.

"But, what happens to that man?" Sunset asked scared. "Is he dead?"

"Either that or he's so drunk that can't stand on his two feet." Said Rich.

"Drunk? He's not breathin', I'm telling y'all that guy's dead." Said Big Mac.

"No, Big Mac, the thing is..." Rainbow Dash tried to say .

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but I have a gun!" Said the long-haired man. "If you really want to know the difference between a living and a dead, I'm glad to show you."

"Then, start with me!" Said Filthy Rich so solemn. "I've already lost everything, trust with my friends, my money, his money, my business... but I won't lose my dignity."

The long-haired man shot at Rich , causing him to start bleeding from his stomach and fall to the ground. Rarity and Sunset screamed. Mac ran over to Rich's body .

"Rich, NOOOPE!" Yelled Big Mac.

The long-haired man ran away.

"Someone call an ambulance!" Zephyr yelled.

Spades was shocked and open-mouthed.

"Spades, call the police." Said Big Mac.

Spades made to grab the briefcase, but ultimately ran out of the pub.

Once out of sight, Big Mac changed his expression to one of satisfaction and rose triumphantly.

"Eyup, eeeeeeyup!" He yelled. “We finally got rid of that shitty asshole. And the store is mine again!"

"How can you say that Mac?" Said Zephyr nervously. "Rich was our friend, he had a heart of gold and... a gold watch too." He said, noticing the watch on his wrist. "Hold on, I'm going to see what he has in his wallet."

Zephyr reached down to grab the watch, but Rich suddenly started slapping him.

"Keep your hands of, you buzzard!" Shouted the millionaire, getting up. "Damn, if it takes me a little longer to get up, you'll steal even my organs."

"But, what is happening here?" Rarity asked .

"Well, we have made a pantomime to recover what we have bet." Rich said . "Good thing I did a performance worthy of an Oscar."

"Now can you explain to me what's wrong with that guy?" Asked Sunset pointing to the corpse of the consul.

However, Sunset went pale when she saw who walked through the door...

"What the hell is going on here?" Bourbon had just come through the door with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

"Boss!" Sunset yelled in surprise.

“Rich, what happened to your gut? And who's that guy on the floor?" Asked Bourbon without giving credit to the scene.

"CCPD, freeze." Said a voice behind him.

"And now that?" Bourbon whirled around screaming, but fell suddenly when he saw who was behind him.

A man in his sixties accompanied by two police officers taller than him.

"Yeah, sure, I'm freezing and you're a cop." Zephyr said laughing. “Rich already explained to us that this is a pantomime. Also, who's going to believe thaty your a policeman with that potato body you have."

Zephyr laughed as the commissioner turned red with fury and the others looked at him in fear.

"You're a real cop, right?" Zeph said realizing he fucked up. "Well, put the handcuffs on then."

"Certainly, this case is worth studying." Said the commissioner checking the statements.

Suddenly another policeman entered the room with some papers. "Chief, here's the report." After delivering the papers to the commissioner, he left.

"Well, it seems incredible, but you are free." Said the commissioner, to which we all went crazy with joy. "It turns out that thanks to your irresponsibility we have managed to capture Spades Hoofield, a gambler who has been in search and seizure for two years."

"What did you say?" I asked without giving credit.

"Oh, fuck me..." Said a voice that I recognized behind me. As I turned around, I found Spades accompanied by a police officer. "Bourbon? What are you doing here?"

“Oh nothing, it turns out that when I get to my pub I find a corpse and I discover that an underground game of poker was played. You got nothing to do with that, right?" I asked questioningly.

"Hey man, I swear I didn't know it was your pub, I'm sorry." Said Spades scared as the agent took him away.

I noticed that the others looked at me strangely, surely someone was going to say something, but the commissioner was ahead of them.

"Wow... it seems also that the report says that one of you has lied."

"Okay, I admit it. I'm not 22 years old." Said Rainbow Dash suddenly. "It's just that they hadn't asked me my age for so long that I got nervous and..."

"No, don't worry, no one has believed that." The commissioner interrupted Dash leaving her not knowing how to feel. "The autopsy says that the consul died practicing sex, and that apparently, he had regular contact with 'professionals'..." The commissioner looked at Rarity. "Miss, can you tell me what you were really doing with the consul?"

Rarity was pale and was looking at the commissioner with puppy eyes.

"Uhm... look commissioner, I..." Rarity didn't seem to find the right words, it was like they didn't quite come out of her mouth. "This is not easy for me, it was not a decision I made for pleasure, and I don't know what people would think of me..."

"Look, it doesn't matter, if I tell you the truth it's none of my business." Said the commissioner seeing how uncomfortable Rarity was. Then he looked at his watch and smirked. "Besides, it's 00:30 and I'm officially retired." The commissioner grabbed his coat and started to walk out the door. "I'm going to Vanhoover to fish and enjoy my retirement, take care and I hope I never see you again." And so the ex-commissioner left while we too said goodbye.

"Rarity... are you...?" I tried to ask, but she cut me off.

"I'm sorry, I just need to be alone..." And without even looking at me she left.

At that moment, Filthy Rich approached Big Mac.

"Hey Big Mac, I wanted to apologize for everything today, I know I acted like a real asshole." Said the millionaire.

"Eyup." Big Mac nodded.

"Look, I'll give you your money back and I'll forgive you two months of rent, is that okay?" Said Rich.

"Ok, at least you still have decency left." Said my roomate smiling.

Just as Big Mac was preparing to leave, Rainbow Dash stopped him.

"Big Mac, can we talk for a moment?"

Big Mac was silent for what seemed like an eternity, and responded with a simple, terse, "Nope."

And without saying a word he left...

Rainbow Dash stood there on the site not knowing how to take that reaction. I understood Big Mac's reaction, especially after what happened.

"He's quite angry, right?" She said.

"No shit..." I said making an obvious face.

“Dash, I don't think he's that angry, but rather disappointed. You tricked him into stealing his truck keys." Sunset said .

“But understand me, I couldn't put Rarity at risk. Even in the hypothetical case that he had lent me the keys, what do I say? 'No, it's to transport the corpse of a consul who had paid Rarity to sleep with her.' "

Now everything fit. Rainbow Dash's strange attitude during the interrogation was due to her not wanting to expose Rarity, she was doing it to protect her. Dash, loyal 'til the end.

“Look Rainbow, Big Mac may be a bit disappointed, but I'm sure if you talk to him he'll listen. Try to explain it to him. But, remember to be honest." I said.

"Alright, I'm going to talk to him." And she left. I suspected that he was heading to our place.

"Well, Sunset , I'm going to the pub to organize everything, will you join me?"

"Yes, but first a question, how did you know that gambler?"

"Well... it's a long story, but I better tell it to you in the pub." I said as we were leaving the police station.

Rainbow Dash stood in front of Bourbon and Big Mac's door undecided, not knowing exactly what she was going to say.

After ringing the bell she waited and Big Mac opened the door.

"Hey Mac!" She said.

Big Mac just looked at her seriously and closed the door, leaving Dash standing there, confused.

She, however, wasn't going to give up and called again.

Big Mac opened with the same serious face.

"Hey, I know you're mad, but if you could just let me..." Big Mac closed it again.

Dash made an angry face and quite forcefully rang the bell again several times in a row.

Big Mac snapped open. "Look, Dash..." He didn't have time to respond as all he saw was a rainbow flash followed by a puff of air. Turning around, he saw Rainbow Dash sitting cross-legged on the couch and staring at him triumphantly. "I hate when you do that..."

"Nah, I don't believe you. Hey, I need to talk to you, I wanted to apologize for what happened. Are you really that mad at me?"

"Me? Nope, it's just that it bothers me a little that my truck is stolen to transport a corpse, It's a bad habit of mine." Said Big Mac sarcastically.

“And what did you want me to do, Mac? Tell you the truth? I couldn't betray Rarity's trust, I needed to get her out of that mess no matter how... "

Big Mac just looked away, he understood why Dash did what she did, but that didn't change the fact that he felt used.

"Look, Dash, I can understand that, but you used me, that wasn't right..." Big Mac turned away from looking at her, but suddenly he felt her grip him tightly and hug him behind his back.

“I'm sorry… I'm really sorry. I didn't want anything of this to happen, but it got out of control. " Rainbow Dash was getting down a lot which surprised the farmer.

"Dash?" It was the only thing Mac could say.

"You know? If you want me to leave, I'll leave." She said letting go of the hug and heading towards the door, but suddenly.

"Wait, Dash." Mac said grabbing her arm. "I don't know how you do it, but I can't be mad at you."

Rainbow Dash put on a triumphant smile and glanced at him. "Because I'm awesome, and you know it."

"Don't push it, girl." He said smirking.

Big Mac tried to reproach her for her arrogance, but Dash threw herself on top of him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Big Mac lost his balance and fell on the couch as Rainbow Dash kissed him.

"I know I gave you blue balls back in the store, but I'm going to fix that." She said smirking to immediately begin to kiss his neck and unbutton his shirt.

Big Mac for his part ran his hands over Dash's body, focusing on her well toned buttocks. Rainbow Dash stripped off her shirt and tossed it to the ground, exposing only a sports bra.

Big Mac let himself be done, laying his head on the back of the couch as she kissed his neck and ran her hands over his abs. Her kisses and caresses went down, leaving a trail of marks and saliva all over the farmer's abdomen until she knelt between his legs.

Big Mac looked up slightly only to meet Rainbow Dash's magenta eyes staring at him lustfully, laden with lewd intentions.

She may have been on her knees in front of him, but at that moment she felt in control of the situation, she knew that young Apple was at her mercy. Without further ado, she unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, releasing his already semi-erect member . She squeezed with her right hand from base to head without breaking eye contact for a second, lubricating him with a thread of pre-cum. Big Mac grunted and Dash smiled triumphantly at him.

She felt special satisfaction when Mac could not bear the pleasure and closed his eyes when she introduced his member in her mouth, holding one hand to the sofa and with the other stroking her lover's rainbow hair.

She sucked in a slow and tortuous way, playing with circular movements of her tongue on the farmer's glans, occasionally deepthroating without gagging.

At the time, Big Mac didn't know what turned him on the most, being getting a blowjob from Rainbow Dash or seeing her giving him one. He was in the clouds, wishing that moment would never come to an end.

However, he soon felt the tension inside him, as if he were going to explode.

"Dash, I'm almost there." He tried to warn the girl, but she ignored him and continued with her work.

"Oh… shit."

Try as he might, he couldn't take it anymore, and growling like an animal he came hard into Rainbow Dash's mouth .

Big Mac was in a trance, eyes closed and breathing like he'd run a marathon. When he slowly opened them, he saw Rainbow Dash standing there smiling triumphantly as she wiped a trickle of cum that fell from her lip.

He didn't know why, but that gesture struck him as the most erotic thing he'd ever seen, and in an unorthodox way, young Apple stripped off his pants and boxers and lifted Dash in his arms like a newly married bride.

"Room, now!" He said.

"Wow, I see you with energy, stud." Said Dash.

"Eyup, it's your turn, and I hope you're ready, because I'm going to destroy you." Said Big Mac with lust in his eyed.

"Oh… is that a threat?" Asked Dash looking at him defiantly.

"Nope, it's a damn promise."

And without saying another word, they entered Mac's room, ready to shake the walls.

"So you knew that Spades Hoofield from Applelachia." Sunset Shimmer said taking a sip of her beer.

“Yeah, we were… partners. I saw him this week, but he told me that he was leaving to, I quote, 'find a sucker with money to invest in his future'. Who'd ever have imagined that the sucker would be Filthy Rich?" I said laughing at the situation.

"What do you mean by partners?" Sunset asked with a suspicious look.

"Oh well… you know, we had a little bussiness there in Applelachia." I said getting a little nervous.

"What kind of bussiness?" I didn't answer, the truth is that I didn't dare tell Sunset about that part of my past. "Bourbon... what were you up to?" However, I couldn't resist that questioning look. This girl was worse than my mother.

"Awright! We did things that... were quite frowned upon... tobacco and weed smuggling, bootlegging, illegal gambling... "

"Bourbon!" Shouted Sunset dumbfounded. "You are a criminal."

"Hey hey! Don't get crazy. I was in a very bad time, my father had just died, my stepmother was trying to take away my inheritance, and I did a lot of stupid things... but I don't think 'criminal' is the right word for me either."

"Bourbon, what you were doing was a crime, you could have ended up in prison."

"Look, let me get this straight, what we were doing, was it legal? Of course not, dammit. But do you know what was our real offense? That we didn't pay taxes. Sunset, the state is the first to have profit with taxes on tobacco, alcohol and gambling, why can politicians get money and I can't? We were moonshining, we grew tobacco and marijuana... we worked very hard, but we didn't pay politicians. His thing is extortion, they weren't different from the McColt thugs."

"Bourbon, don't use that anarcho-capitalist slang on me, you know that was wrong." Sunset said replying.

"I'm sorry, officer." I replied sarcastically. "Look, I don't pretend to be a martyr or something like that, but I don't think we did anything wrong either, people use tobacco and alcohol anyway, you should know better than anyone by now, what difference does it make who they buy it from. Plus…” I ducked behind the bar and pulled out a jug and two glasses. "My corn whiskey has always been of great quality, check it out." I said as I poured some into both glasses.

Sunset drank hers and winced.

"By Celestia! This is not whiskey, it's tupertine."

“Of course it's strong, it's homemade. But wait for the taste." I said smiling mischievously.

"Well, when the aftertaste of alcohol goes, it is quite delicious."

"Anyway, Sunset, I'll tell you about my teenage years in Applelachia another day if you want, but I'm tired and I have something to do before I go home."

Without further ado, Sunset left and I finished gathering things up and looking for a bottle of wine from the warehouse. There was someone who needed comfort.

I headed to the apartment I was looking for. I rang the bell, but I wasn't recieved by who I was expecting.

"Bourbon, what are you doing here?" Asked Sweetie Belle. She was groomed and freshly made up, as if she was getting ready to go out.

"Hi Sweetie B, is your sister at home?" I asked for.

“Yes, but she didn't leave her room since she arrived. Do you know what happened? " She asked in a worried tone as I made my way in.

"It's a long story, I think best you hear it from her."

"Okay, well, I'm leaving, I'm meeting some friends downtown. Bye."

Sweetie Belle left and I knocked on Rarity's bedroom door.

"Sweetie Belle I told you I want to be alone." Said Rarity from the other side of the door.

"I'm not Sweetie Belle." I said.

I heard footsteps and the door opened.

"Bourbon!" She said surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?"

“I want to build a snowman. What do you think? I came over to check on you." It's a shame that I can't give up sarcasm even now, it's a defect I have.

“Thanks Bourbon, but I think I need to be alone. Go away, please. " Rarity made a move to close the door, but I blocked it with my hand.

“Rarity , I ain't come to judge you, I just want to talk; I'm your friend, and I am a psychologist, you can trust me." At that moment I showed the bottle of wine. "Would you like a drink?"

Rarity seemed to hesitate, but opened the door and went to the kitchen from where she got a couple of glasses. Then he motioned for me to sit on the couch.

Once we were on the couch, relaxed over the wine, she told me about the financial problems she had been having lately. She felt desperate, because she could loose the boutique and the offer of the consul seemed the easiest solution.

"Rarity, why didn't you tell us you had problems?" I asked for.

"Because I didn't want to worry anyone, I thought I could get out of this by myself, but now I realize the mistake I made." Rarity hid her face with both hands.

I looked away not knowing exactly what to do, but then I had a revelation. I took from my pocket an envelope that I had brought from Applelachia.

"Here, Rarity, take this." I said handing her the envelope.

"What is this?" She asked.

"A little help."

When she opened the envelope to see its contents, Rarity's eyes widened, and she let out a gasp.

"But… Bourbon, how much money is there here?" She asked dumbfounded.

“The last time I checked there was $ 12,000. I hope it would be enough to pay off your debts."

"To pay off debts? With this I have for the entrance of a new boutique! No, darling, I cannot accept it. " She said trying to give me the envelope back. I just stopped her.

“No, Rarity , look we all need help from time to time. You are always generous with others, I think it's time for us to be generous with you. You'll return it to me when you can, there is no rush."

"Bourbon, I... I don't know what to say..." Rarity was speechless, and her eyes were shining, not with sadness, but with emotion.

“Just promise me that you won't lower yourself like that again if you're in trouble. Look, I consider myself an open-minded person, and if you decided to dedicate yourself to THAT, on your own free will, I would not oppose, indeed, I would support you; but I don't want you to be forced to do anything you don't want to. " I said as I finished my glass of wine.

"Not as long as I have friends to support me." She said smiling at me. Then he hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was paralyzed. “Thank you very much Bourbon, I assure you that I will return it to you. Thank you."

"You're welcome dear, that's what we're here for." It was the only thing I managed to say. "Well, I'd better go, it's been a tough day and I need to rest." I went to the door accompanied by Rarity . "Rest well."

"You too darling." She said, she opened the door for me and I went to my apartment.

They say that you should never mix money with friendship, because you run the risk of losing both, but in this case it was worth the risk.

When I got home all I wanted was to get into bed and sleep, however, it didn't seem like it would be possible...

"Oh yeah! Mac, harder! " I heard a scream coming from Big Mac's room.

"Shit, here we go again..." I said sighing and cursing being wall to wall with those two.

The next day I woke up and went straight to the coffee maker. I really needed a strong coffee after last night.

Shortly after pouring myself a cup of that caffeine-laden liquid, I heard Big Mac's door opening. Rainbow Dash came to towards me yawning, totally disheveled and wearing only that Big Mac's t-shirt that was ridiculously large on her; well, to be honest I doubt we can keep saying that that shirt is Mac's anymore.

"Morning, Dash." I said taking a sip of coffee.

"Morning, Bourbon." She said stretching.

"I take it you and Mac cleared everything up."

"You can't even imagine, in the end he understood that yesterday was just a series of misunderstandings."

"Well why don't you sit down in the stool and tell me?" I said.

"Uhm… on second thought, I'd rather not, Bourbon." She said rubbing her butt in a subtle way. "Let's say yesterday... I was destroyed."

"Ok, Dash, TMI." I said wanting to erase that image from my head. "Anyway, coffee, tea or cocoa?"