Rarity is Trash

by moonbutters

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Sweetie Belle, Rarity (EqG)
Length: 2130

Literally.

Rarity wakes up one morning to find out that she's a trash can.

It's not good.

This story was written for Dubs Rewatcher as part of the 2018 Jinglemas collab thingamajigamabob.

Merr Crimmas / Happ Hol-eeeeee-de

Published 2018-12-30 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-30 18:50:01 UTC

Literal Trash

Author's Note

I’m not hating on Fashion Horse Girl. You gotta believe me, officer!

Literal Trash

There was a knock at her door, which made Rarity scream.

“AHHHHH NO NO NO DO NOT COME IN!”

From the other side of the door came a voice that Rarity recognized: Sweetie Belle.

“Rarity? Are you okay?”

This time, Rarity was calmer. “Yes yes, darling. I’m fine. Just don’t come in. And fetch Sunset, too.” Yes, it would not do for Sweetie Belle to see what had become of her sister. Everything felt wrong.

“Why can’t I come in?”

If Rarity could have cringed, she would have. “Just... trust me on this, Sweetie Belle.” And if everything felt wrong, well, Rarity could not imagine how wrong she looked.

“Rarity, it’s only seven in the morning. Are you sure you need Sunset right now?”

“YES! Yes. Please.”

“Alright... If you’re sure. Why do you need Sunset anyways?”

“Darling, just please hurry.”

“Okay then...”

And then there was silence. And in that silence, Rarity waited, because there’s not much else a trash can full of trash can do.

•••

It had been a while. Rarity wasn’t exactly sure how long, because she couldn’t turn to see the clock. How could she even see? Trash cans don’t have eyes. Or mouths, for that matter. And yet Rarity could see and talk. She was, however, unaware of her transformation, as none of the many mirrors in her room were aimed at her, and even then she might not be facing them.

And so Rarity had not yet figured out that she was a trash can, but that was soon to change. She knew that something must be wrong, as she couldn’t feel her arms and legs, and she had a strong suspicion that it was magical in nature, so she felt that Sunset would be of the most help

There was a light knock at the door and Rarity immediately perked up, or she would have if trash cans could do that. “Sunset, darling, is that you?”

“Yeah, do you know how early it is?” asked Sunset through the door. To Rarity, Sunset sounded a bit tired. “Why’d you have Sweetie Belle come get me? What’s wrong, Rarity?”

Rarity sighed. “I just don’t know, darling. I woke up a while ago and I can’t move. I was facing the door when I woke up-“

Sunset interrupted her. “Rarity, that is not something you call your friends for! You need an ambulance!”

“No, darling! I can assure you I am healthy. At least, I think so. This feels more... magical in nature.”

“Can I come in?”

“Please.”

The doorknob rattled, but the door did not open.

“Rarity, it’s locked.”

“Umm, well there should be an extra key lying around somewhere. Sweetie Belle might know!” replied Rarity with a twinge of annoyance. “I would greatly appreciate it if you would hurry, darling.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back with a key.” There was a short silence. “You’re sure you don’t need an ambulance, right?”

“Please, darling, just get the key. If it turns out I am paralyzed from the neck down, then you can call an ambulance.”

“Fine.” replied Sunset from the other side of the door.

A few moments later, Rarity could faintly hear Sunset talking to Sweetie Belle, hopefully about the key. With nothing else to do, she idly hummed a tune she had heard somewhere, and managed to get about halfway through the amount that she remembered before Sunset knocked on the door again.

"Yes, darling?"

"Sweetie Belle told me that the key is in your room, on your dresser."

"Oh. Well, that's inconvenient."

"Hey, Rarity?"

"Yes, Sunset?"

"Did you ever replace the screws in your doorframe?"

"What? Of course not! Why would I do that?"

"I'll explain later."

There was a loud thump from the door, and it bowed inwards.

"Darling, is everything alright?" asked Rarity anxiously.

"Yeah, just a second..."
with a mighty crash, the door broke inwards at the edge, sending splinters and door parts flying all over Rarity's room. In the doorway was Sunset Shimmer, groaning in pain and rubbing her right arm.

"Darling! Are you all right?"

"I'll live," replied Sunset, stepping into the room and taking care not to impale her feet on any wooden door-shards. "Where are you, Rarity? I don't see you."

"Right here on the bed, Darling." responded Rarity, confused as to why her friend did not see her.

Sunset walked over to the bed and stood right in front of Rarity. "Yeah, all I can see is this trash can on the bed. are you inside it?"

"Am I really that hideous to look at?"

"What? No! All I'm saying is that, from what I can see, you're not on the bed. The only thing on the bed, besides your blankets and pillows, is this metal trash can." Sunset patted Rarity on the head.

"You simply must be joking, right? You're standing right in front of me!"

"Is this one of Rainbow Dash's pranks? It's not funny, Rarity."

"You're glob-damned right this isn't funny! Get me a mirror!"

Sunset stepped out of view towards Rarity's dresser, and took a hand mirror from it. "Will this one do?"

"ANY one will do! Hurry! Hold it in front of the trash can!" said Rarity agitatedly. She thought she had figured out what had happened, but she hoped she was wrong.

When Sunset held the mirror in front of Rarity, she could see her reflection was that of a metal garbage can.

"Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This is absolutely, positively the WORST POSSIBLE THING!" yelled Rarity as she started to bawl. "I'm supposed to be the epitome of beauty and poise and fashion but how can I do THAT if I'm a stupid traaaaaash caaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnn....?"

It didn't take long for Sunset to figure out the same thing that Rarity had figured out: that somehow, overnight, Rarity had turned into a trash can.

The realization left Sunset stunned for a few seconds before her friendship instincts kicked in and she tried to comfort her friend.

"Rarity, shh... it's okay. I'm sure that whatever made you into a trash can can be undone." She patted the can on the lid. "At least you're a shiny, clean trash can and not an old dirty one."

"SHINY? Nooooo... Shiny is very unfashionable! Oh, who am I kidding, I can't even mooooooove..."

"Honestly, I'm amazed that you can see and talk. This is some powerful transformation magic, or something like it. I'm sure Twilight knows how to fix it. Probably."

"Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!" cried Rarity, too sad to listen properly.

Sunset was lucky she had brought her school bag with her, as she kept her journal which she shared with Twilight in it. While Rarity bawled on the bed, Sunset took out the journal and opened to a blank page. She scribbled a small circle quickly with her black pen, and was relieved to see a circle of purple ink appearing next to her own only moments later. With the attention of her pony friend, Sunset wrote. Twilight, we have a problem. I don't know how, but Rarity was turned into a trash can overnight. Definitely magic.

Sunset waited for Twilight to respond, which was only a few seconds later. Sunset, I'm going to need you to describe this better for me. How do you know that it's Rarity?

Rarity continued to cry, although her sobs were quieter as she calmed down.

Sunset quickly wrote back. She can still talk and see. Right now, she's crying.

Twilight replied immediately. See if you can detect any residual magic. I'm going to look something up.

Sunset set the journal down on the bed next to Rarity the trash can. Tentatively, she asked "Rarity?"

"In between sobs, Rarity replied "What?"

"I'm going to check you for residual magic. If you were... yourself you would feel a tingling sensation, but as a trash can I don't know what you'll feel.

"O-okay. If it'll help."

"It will, I hope." Sunset took a deep breath and placed her hands on the cold metal sides of the trash can that was her friend. With a bit of focus, she felt within her friend for magic, and was surprised at just how much she found. She could identify seven different magics, including her own, that of their mutual friends, and Rarity's innate magic, but there was also another blob that she didn't recognize the magical signature of. In fact, she didn't recognize the type of magic used at all.

Sunset looked back down at the journal and was mildly pleased to find that Twilight had written something new.

Okay, Sunset. I've found a few different things, but they all hinge on what you found on your end.

Sunset replied as quickly as she could. She has normal magic levels for a human, except for this one part that I don't recognize. It's like a blob, almost.

It took Twilight a few seconds to reply. How did it feel? Was it malicious? Dark? Hard?

Sunset thought for a second, trying to apply those descriptors to the unknown magic, but none of them fit. It feels more random, like a bowl of skittles and m&ms.

Twilight did not respond, and Sunset frowned. While she waited, she turned her attention back to Rarity, who had quieted down and was just sniffling from time to time instead of bawling her eyes out. Figuratively bawling her eyes out, of course, as trash cans don't have eyes to bawl out, generally. "Rarity, are you in pain at all?"

"The only pain I feel is that of my uglyness..."

"Don't worry, we'll have you back to normal in no time."

"Really?"

"Really."

Turning her attention back to the journal, Sunset saw that Twilight had still not replied. "...Although you would be fixed a lot sooner if Twilight would respond!"

Little did she know that Twilight was currently taking care of the problem by informing one of her friends of the situation at that very moment. That friend immediately became very angry, and took off towards her house to have "a talk" with a certain someone.

====================

Both Rarity and Sunset screamed when the curtains on the windows in Rarity's room began to talk. Sunset had turned Rarity towards the window so she could look out while they waited for twilight's advice, so Rarity was able to see the mouth, eyes, and goatee suddenly appear on the curtains and begin taking.

"Honestly, I thought you two would be more grateful for my assistance! Although I do admit that I caused the problem in the first place, so you wouldn't be happy about that."

After Sunset stopped screaming in terror, she yelled at the curtain. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

And from the curtain slid a draconequus, who promptly stood up in the room, bumped his head on the ceiling, and introduced himself. "I am Discord, the lord of Chaos. And a small town in the middle of Russia, although I haven't checked up on them lately and they're all probably worshiping some other deity. How do you do? Wait, don't answer that! Sunset Shimmer, you are doing eh. In fact, you're rather scared because you remember what I did to Equestria back in the good-ol' days, right? Well, have no fear, as I am reformed. also, if I hurt you, Fluttershy would kill me. Possibly literally!"

"...What?" said Sunset, as she was very confused and also a little scared.

"I'm here to turn fashion trash- I mean fashion girl back into her normal self, as requested by Fluttershy. Well, it wasn't really a request, as she was yelling-"

"Fluttershy was yelling? she must've been really mad." interrupted Rarity. "Now how about you do less talking and more transforming!'

"Ah!" said Discord excitedly. "I'm very good at transforming! Watch!" And Discord turned himself into a duck, and then a miniature cow, and finally into a trash can.

Neither Rarity nor Sunset were amused.

"Tough crowd. Well, I better turn you back into a human, because I need to go back to Equestria and grovel before Fluttershy in the hopes that she won't dismember me." With a snap of his fingers, Rarity was back to being non-trash-can Rarity, the door was fixed, and a twenty-dollar bill was lying on the windowsill. Discord had also left to go grovel before Fluttershy, lest she decide to not be his friend any more.

"Well then." said Sunset as she tried to make sense of what happened.

"Yes. that was... quite the experience." said Rarity, staring at the crisp twenty on her windowsill. She turned towards Sunset and hugged her. "Thank you, Darling, for helping me out."

Sunset returned the hug. "It's what friends do."