The baddest santa in the whole damn town.
Some really crazy shit happened to me the other day. It was like one of those things you hear about from that one dude you know that always get involved in that out of this world shit that you're sure won't ever happen to you. And it was close to Hearth’s Warming too… Okay, I guess I should start from the beginning. Sooo… I was Santa Hooves a few days back.
Yes, for real, and no I didn't get paid. It's like this: Manehattan Police force have volunteered to do this shit for YEARS now. And usually it's the oldest guys with the greyest beards that get their names pulled, but this year they wanted to ‘refresh’. Fucking crap. I mean… I don't have a problem with seeing Santa Hooves in every Luna damned store but getting myself into this position? ME? The sergeant must have laughed his pecker off. Name’s Babs Seed. And I am without doubt the toughest cop in the 16th precinct. I know my shit, right? I have the record of most bad guys caught in one week, and I have held it for three years, just to give you some perspective. And yet here I was, in one of the biggest and nastiest malls in town… being Santa Hooves. And that’s crazy enough but hang on… we’re just getting started!
So, there I was sitting, in santa's house, in santa's chair. The whole damn shebang. Red outfit, beard, reindeer horns, red fucking nose… And to put leek on the apple pie, it was on a blasted SATURDAY! The killer day for working retail! Yeah, you know it. Fuck my life. And all the damn KIDS! And I had to be nice. I had promised chief or else I would have to do duty on Hearth’s warming. Stupid Chief Bookhim… Where was I… oh yeah. So there I was right, sitting in that damn chair the whole fucking day, going “HO HO FUCKING HO!”
...Alright, without the fucking…
And of cource I had to say, “Have YOU been a good filly this year?” Or colt. I’m not stupid like that. Or “What do YOU want from Santa?” The only good thing was that Santa (and her elf) got a free serving of beer from the pub at the end of the mall at every two-hour break. It's not my regular place but I've been there one or three times. It's a bloody rip-off, they try to look highlandisch, and end up looking like Braveheart and Game of pones had a baby but they do carry my favourite ale so it’s an ok place. Even if they also play all that fucking generic HW music. When you have country.
Anyway… My elf, perhaps I should mention her, she has a huge part in this shit. When I heard that I had been drafted I more or less forced the chief to place Pollihops as my elf. But strangely enough she didn’t protest. ...Bet she likes those tight green pants… Oh, and Nic-nac followed us as well. So I guess I had two elves? Nic-nac really is the best doggo. Police when needed, stupid big cuddly sheep when needed. She’s good with kids. Yes, really. She looks like she’s gonna eat them but she won’t. Cause she’s a good doggo.
So, the shit I’m gonna tell you about? Went down like… half an hour before shift was over. Most kids were gone then and we had nothing to do except for… well, one kid ever twenty minutes or so. Wasn’t really counting. I had left the chair, needed to stretch those legs, ya know, when Hopps patted me on my shoulders. “Hey Babs, you have a customer.”
“Freaks sake, Hops! It’s almost closing time. Tell her to fuck off, ah wanna take of this crap and go home.”
And then she looked at me with the biggest shit-eating grin in the world. “I do think you should take this one, Babs. Come one… it’s just ONE. I’ll put up the “closed” sign after her.”
Yeah, Santa was sitting in his ‘house’, did I mention this? It wasn’t a real house… It was more of a box with four paper walls, painted like something almost, but not quite entirely unlike wood. There was a small space for us to dress up as well and we could close the door when we were done for the day. I was standing in that back “room” and… damn it, this isn't important! Anyway, I just sighed, put my beard back on and walked out. I was halfway through my worst “HO HO HO” of the day when I recognized the kid. Well, kid and kid…
“Squeeka?”
“Hi Babthie!”
Whaddayaknow. It was the wife, not a damn kid. Well… Twist does look like a child sometimes. Especially today! Well, the makeup gives her away, but that pink and purple skirt with polka-dot stockings and a pink top with hearts and candy on it? It’s not much that gives away her real age, when you look from a certain angle. And those huge glasses doesn't really help either. Or the big damn smile. Her beautiful smile…
So, back to the story! She jumped with that happiness she always seems to feel, and shouted into my face:
“I juth got off work! I wanted to bring you thomething extra thince you are being tho nithe to the kidth!” She then produced a small bag filled to the brim with sweets. Chocolate, fudge, minty stuff, candy canes… the works! I took a few pieces of candy and ate them whole. I know they deserve more attention, but I was tired, ok? I didn’t want to spend more time than necessary with my wife dressed like that either. Also, she had a green bag with her. I recognized that green bag and I knew where it came from. The Adult shop on the third floor. So, I was sure she had bought another sex toy and I was curious to see what it was. Can you blame me for wanting to go home? Thought so. The sooner the better. And I told her so.
“Nice to see ya, Squeeka. And thanks for the snack. Now let me just get outta this damn clothes and lets go home, ok?”
But she had no damn hurry, she gestured at me to lean down and she gave me a kiss on my nose. “Nonono! That won’t do at all! I wanna thit in Thantath lap!” I rolled my eyes at her.
“Really? Come on Squeeka! Yer a bit to old for THAT, really!”
“But I WANT to! Pleathe?”
Try to say no to that face… SO, I sat down, and she climbed up in my lap. She then threw her arms around me and kissed me again. I decided to give her the full show, I mean... She did say please. So, “WEEELL, Have little Twist been a good filly this year?”
“Yeth Thanta! I’ve been the BETH!”
“HA HA HA HA HA… Well, what do ya want for Hearth’s warming then?”
“I...don’t know… I feel thorry for Thanta.”
“HO HO...what?” I wasn't prepared for that one...
“Thanta has to work all Hearth’s warming long! It’th so hard for Thanta. I want to give Thanta a little gift." And then she sat up straight in my lap and lifted her top to reveal her tiny tits to the world. She had skipped her bra too. And then she said, “Wanna grab a feel Thanta? A nithe memory for the long dark night?”
I DEFINITELY wasn’t prepared for this! “Squeeka...for Celestia's sake…”
“Thanta? Don’t you like my tittieth? I want you to touch them, Thanta…”
My hands apparently felt they needed no permission from the more sane part of my brain because they began to feel her up at once. I do love to touch Squeekas boobs, they’re so soft and cute...I pulled her closer so I could get a better feel… I even gave her little nipples a twist of my fingers. She gasped, giggled and threw her head back so her huge red mane flew in the air. Then she looked at me over her glasses, that “Sexy teacher look” she has. “Do you like them, Thanta?” She leaned even closer, “Do you like to thqueethe my thmall, thlim boobth… Do you like to feel a little filly up, thanta?”
Oh, so THAT was how she wanted to play? She has a bit of that thing, pretending she is young and all that. I don’t really like it, but today I just smiled. Because ‘Santa’ was prepared now. I smiled my most evil smile, and then I pulled her close so I could take her nipples in my mouths and lick them. This time she moaned… “When the little girls are big girls like this and they also happen to be MY special girl… Santa LOVES to…”
“AH! Mmmmm… Thantha...it feelth nithe...mmmm…”
You know what that little shit did next? She lifted up her skirt… she didn’t even wear panties! And she started to finger herself as well!
“mmmm! Aaaa...h… oh Thantha… I love thantha…” I didn't have time to protest before she pulled my face down to her breasts and more or less pushed her nipple into my mouth.
I stopped. This was… eh… yeah. Exactly like that. Some ponies say they are ‘victims of mixed feelings”. Bullshit. I had NO BLOODY IDEA what to do. And if someone came in? To find Santa Hooves feeling up a kid that wanks herself in public and is 23 but looks like she's 15?
Then I decided to go with it. A horny mf wanting to jump your bones after you’ve had the worst day in a month? Yeah, screw them basterds. They had it coming. I opened my mouth and took a healthy bite on that cute little nipple. I also sneaked one hand under her skirt and gave that naughty cute butt a light spank. “Thanta!” She giggled, “That wath nathy!”
“Oh, but yer been a bad girl, Twist B. Twistimane! Santa probably needs to punish you…”
I spanked her again, and again. Harder and harder. She cried out in the cutest way every time…
“ah!... ah!... ah!...”
“Like it? Like it when Santa spanks yer? Like it when Santa treats ya lahk a really bad gal…?
And just when she thought she knew what was happening, I managed to lean her back. I had her head resting on my left arm and my right… had a free way right up between her legs. I started to play with her clit and didn't give her a chance to cry out. I put my lips right over hers and gave her the roughest kiss I could. The beard didn't make it easier. You know the feeling of having your hands full with your mares vag, and your mouth full of her mouth and you can feel her twitch in your hands like the horny little minx she is?
No?
Your loss mate. It's awesome.
How long were we just sitting there? Dunno. But suddenly I realised what time it was and that the staff probably wanted to close up. I lifted up Twist, made her stand up on the floor and dragged her away.
Outside ‘santa's house’ we met Pollihops again. She had changed to private clothes...except for the green tights… dork. She had Nic-nac in her leash and smiled the same damn smile as before. She probably heard most of it. Ah well.
“You two done? Then I'm going home ok? See you tomorrow… santa.”
“yeah yeah, fuck ya hopps. See ya tomorrow. “
Then I lifted up squeeka and carried her… into the mare's room. I closed the door, took of my beard, horns and that fucking coat. I lifted her up, and she was quick to straddle me. I kissed her for shit knows how long. And then I leaned forward and hissed,
“So… yer having a dream of fucking santa, squeeka?”
She blushed and nodded slightly. I shook my head and looked straight into her eyes.
“Well, ahm sorry. But ahm a jealous mare… I'm not letting some dirty old stallion close to mah squeekah… the only one to fuck ya... is me…” I sat her down on the toilet seat and then I turned around to lock the door. Then I opened the green bag and took out what was inside. I smiled my biggest baddest smile. It was a strapon. The usual size, and brown with red and green dots. Huh. A Hearth’s warming model? Squeeka blushed, but she also looked really happy.
“I want to call it...mr Gingerbread Man… It wath a thurprithe… for Heath'th warming…”
I turned around, facing her as I held up the strap-on. “Oh, I am surprised… and very happy. Let HW cum early, shall we?”
I LOVE being a mare. You’re not stuck with the same old piece of meat, you can get all kinds of colors, sizes and features. Strap-ons ROCK! Best thing? Didn’t even have to pull of my pants. Just put it on anyway. Then lifted her up and ast her down on her knees on the toilet seat, so I had her ass in the right height in front of me. No reason to wait, so I ripped off her skirt and just stuck him right up her little wanting cunt. And she reacted at once. “Oh! SANTA! YES!”
Dammit! Someone was turned on! ...I suppose half an hour of fingering does that to a squeeka. But I wanted something else… I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, not that hard (she is a bit fragile…) but enough for her to know I meant business. “None of that shit now, Squeeka. Ah want ya to scream my real name! Because I am the one fucking ya.” I grabbed her thighs and started to pump her cunt full with Mr Gingerbread Man.
“YETH! FUCK ME BABTHIE! FUCK ME!”
Ponies ask if I don’t constantly break her bones when we’re shagging. I usually kick their asses… but it is a valid concern. And it doesn’t get better ‘cause truth is that Squeeka WANTS me to be rough. She loves to call me her “big bad wolfie” and always ask me to go harder.
Even now. It’s pretty dull to describe this you know. You should have been there, Me pumping her full, making sure every part of her tight damn pussy was filled and she screaming my name and panting harder than a running drug dealer.
“BABTHIE! BABTHIE! Oh Thweet Thelethia BABTHIE! I LOVE YOU BABTHIE! Fuck me Babthie… Fuck me harder… Fuck me tho hard we get thrown out Babthie! OH THITH BABTHIE!”
Oh, I wasn’t gonna slow down! I think I even managed to go a little faster… “Oh yeah? Ya think they gonna throw out a member of the manehattan police force? I like to see them try… Oh, I will fuck you so hard you’ll stay fucked for a week…”
“BABTHIE!”
“And then you gonna have to CRAWL to Mommas house for HWE dinner. I will fuck you so hard you can't sit for a week!”
“YETH! YETH BABTHIE! YETH! OH BABTHIE! BABTHIE! I’M CUMMING! I’M CUMMING BABTHIE! I’M GONNA CUM ALL OVER MR GINGERBREAD MAN BABTHIE! AAAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAAH! BABTHIE! BABTHIE DON’T THOP! I WANNA CUM AGAIN! HARDER BABTHIE! HARDER!”
Harder she wanted, harder she got. Damn it, I came myself once and I didn’t have any hands down there… It was some real crazy shit going on I tell ya. I ain’t kidding you. We were in there for 45 minutes. And then I had to carry her home. She was out cold for the rest of that day. So I had to work myself out. Yeah, so? I wanted some too! And I’m not a bloody barbarian! Forcing her to do me after THAT? Yeah right… I’m not that mare. Anymore.
The only thing I’m unsure of is if I’m going to kick Pollihops ass now or after new years eve. Cause I'm sure this was her fucking idea.
Author's Note
Nope. Don't regret nothing.
