Spike and the Horny Unicorn

by LightningFlash99

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2118

Spike finds a mysterious chest in Twilight's room that he never saw before...

One day whilst Twilight is out on a diplomatic mission. Spike finds a mysterious box in her room that he'd never seen before, and his curiosity gets the better of him.

Author's note: This is my... Basically third story I've written for MLP but the first I've written in years (and the first that wasn't when I was a teenager). Give fair feedback and speak your mind as to how I might improve in the future!

Published 2018-12-22 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-27 03:11:58 UTC

Epilogue: AKA "Princess Celestia and the Horny Unicorn"

Dear Princess Celestia,

It feels strange to be writing a friendship report to you after so long, but I felt this needed to be heard. Today I learned that a good friend is able to accept you for who you are, no matter the strange things they find out about you, and that often, revealing that secret can take a massive weight off of your shoulders, though I thought I had learned that lesson years ago with the whole model thing.
Either way, I'm happy to have the weight off, and now I can stop being so paranoid.

Your Faithful Student, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Dear Princess Twilight

I am elated to hear from you again, that you're doing so much better about this mysterious subject you were so afraid of. It's also okay to have to re-learn lessons sometimes, especially when you end up afraid of what information may do to friendships. You're doing great to keep learning even after your schooling is over.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia
P.S. I understand you want to keep matters private, but I have a small bit of advice for you. When trying to hide your identity from the world, it's going to take more than a fictional language to stump a goddess. Especially if you plan to write stories like Where The Mind Wanders, where you did not even seem to hide the fact that you knew our personal magical training regimen like the back of your hoof. Of course, you need not worry about me. I'll simply spectate, curious as to what you may stir up after Tall Tails, Itundómë.

"Spike, I'm going to go die now."

Author's Note

Just thought to make a silly little epilogue (Partially to stall/practice for writing the sequel)

Learning Experiences

Spike strolled through the castle with pride, having finished almost every job that Twilight had for him today in a little less than an hour. All that was left now was to go fix the Princess’s bed since she hadn’t the time to finish it herself. The drake pondered for a moment just what he could do with his extra free time...

He was rather nonchalant walking up the stairs to his matron’s bedroom, noticing the door was still wide open from her panicked rush earlier. However, even stranger was what could be seen inside the room itself. A singular chest that the dragon had never seen before with the key still in its lock. The Dragon’s eyes locked on it with a fiery curiosity in his eyes, moving towards it before pulling his claws back, “No, it’s probably Twilight’s... But what could she be hiding that I’d never have seen any sign of it in my life?” He asked himself curiously as his eyes locked on the ornate silver key again. The drake tried his hardest to stop himself, pulling back on several occasions before finally giving in and turning the key…

And within the box were books, Lots, and Lots, of books, a small oblong object or two similar to wands but thicker, and something that looked vaguely like a doomsday device.

The dragon was rather upset at the seeming anticlimax, “just... Books? No, there has to be more to this. His tone was frustrated and almost angry for a moment as he pulled one of the books out of its confinement and gazed upon its cover, forcing a bit of silence from him again.

Tall Tails of Love and Magic by Itundómë

“Wait... I haven’t heard of this book before. Which I’d assume was a sign of something.” He sat on Twilight’s bed and opened up the cover, skimming over the table of contents somewhat absentmindedly and skipping the preface before reaching the first ‘story’ in the vignette, supposedly called The Court Mage and the Dragon. His eyes only widened more, his curiosity was stoked once again and he stared the cover down. “Court mage… what on earth?”

One of my first and strangest adventures out in the wilds. I remember it like it was yesterday…
He skimmed ahead a bit. Apparently, the hero of the story, which Spike had missed the name of somehow, was going into the lair of a large, Amethyst scaled dragon. “Hm, fairly standard fairy tale scenario..” his eyes widened as he read on, quieting easily with what happened next.
That awful wyrm had knocked me onto the floor, and stood over me with a look of pride and lust, saying “You are the one looking for Prince Horace I see... Well if you’d try to take this toy from me, then maybe you can take his place~”

Spike could feel his face flushing up red, and his wings spread and tensed slowly until they were nigh unmovable. “S-she w-wrote…” The drake forced the book closed hastily, but was unable to put it down, “a-and that dragon… Amethyst, Purple…” He opened up the book and flipped through to the physical description of the dragon again.

The beast towered over me, deep amethyst scales seeming to glow in the dimly lit cave, and its crests looked as though carved from jade.
“Purple Scales, Green Crests…” The dragon put a claw to his chin and froze once more, not sure if he was going cold and pale or hot and blushing hard enough to get a nosebleed. With knots in his belly and enough of a blush to make a tomato jealous, he carefully maneuvered his way out of the room, going over to his own, placing the book into a drawer, and going back into Twilight’s to finish the job he started, and hope that things wouldn’t be too awkward when she did eventually get home. Though he wondered more about the book, and just what chaos its knowledge might bring to their humble home.

The next day…

Twilight stretched heartily as the sun began to shine into her window, letting out a rather loud yawn as her eyes opened and adjusted to the light of dawn. However, those eyes suddenly widened, and an expression of panic crossed her visage as she started to remember the events of the past day and night. She leaped out of the bed and searched around her room until she found it in the closet, a small wooden box with a silver key in its keyhole. She opened it up silently and looked through it before that panic grew even greater. Not only was it in a different place than she left it, but something was missing! She felt a bit cold as her face grew pale, but slowly calmed herself down, “Keep yourself together Twilight, there’s no need to panic… But where could it have..” She quieted herself and trotted down the stairs, where Spike was waiting with freshly baked muffins.

“Good Morning Twilight! I know today is going to be another big day so I thought I’d get up early and make something for you! He had an almost saccharine smile that made her a bit nervous, but she graciously sat down and accepted the food. “You look nervous, is something wrong?” He asked her with a concerned look, “You’re shaking like a leaf”

The Princess let out a sigh, “Well… It’s nothing, I just think something went missing” she lifted and started eating quietly, taking small bites.

“Missing?” Spike inquired with a strangely knowing tone. Sitting across from her and having a muffin of his own.

“Mhm. A book, a very…” Twilight flushed crimson at the mere thought of it, “Personal book, one that I’d be very… worried if it got into the wrong hands.” She looked up to stare him in the eyes, “I think it was in my bedroom, you wouldn’t have happened to see it, would you?” She continued to shake. What if he did see it? What would he think of seeing such a thing from me…

Spike was about as nervous as her now, sporting his own obvious blush, “I-I did find something, it was a bit strange, to say the least. The author didn’t have a name like anything I’d seen before, and inside it…” He got a little smile, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think they were trying to write me as a villain from some description of amethyst scales and jade crests.”

Poor Twilight only got redder, but played it off with a bit of a laugh, “Yeah, that is rather strange, but I don’t know if that is what I’m looking for..”

“Even weirder, it looked almost like it was in your hoofwriting…” Spike had a little smile on his face seeing her get nervous, “I… Think you might have some explaining to do~”

Twi was close to breaking down with worry, a hundred thoughts running through her head at once, but all quieted when she saw the dragon’s hand cross the table to reach for her hoof, “It’s nothing to be worried about, everyone has little things they like” His smile was a strange mix of teasing and sincere, and it seemed to ease her heart just a little.

“O-okay, you got me. I’m Itundómë… But you’re not weirded out?” She looked up at the dragon with a teary eye, nervous as to just what to think.

Spike rubbed the back of his head with his free hand, “It is a little weird, but I’m not ‘weirded out’.” He moved in to pat her on the head a bit, “I even think it’s kinda cute in an… admittedly perhaps hormonal teen kind of way.” His voice had a bit of that teasing tone in it again that made them both blush hotly.

“Well I guess it just kinda came in the heat of the moment, one bad heat got me to write all about this crazy scenario, and it felt… Really good to have it all down, so writing became a vent for me, I guess... It was the first heat I experienced since you first got wings, I could smell something funny in the air, and it made that… I’m just glad you don’t think it’s weird” Twilight blushed and smiled before looking away, “though of course I wouldn’t do anything like that to you, I mean you’re like family to me”

Spike giggled and nodded, “I get it, I get it. It can be weird sometimes, not really understanding where your thoughts come from and then all of a sudden being hit with something like that.”

There was a good minute of silence before Spike continued, “but… It was wrong of me to look at your stuff, sorry about that”

“No, it’s fine. I should’ve just been more honest. We had that birds and bees talk a while ago anyway, though I didn’t expect this… and admittedly the whole book thing was what prompted me to give you the talk, just in case you might’ve been feeling strange too” Twilight smiled and hugged him, “You’re still my number one assistant no matter what!”

“True, but I ought to share a secret for prying into yours… If your vent is writing, mine is a sketchbook.” Spike smiled and got another little giggle, “I’d even say I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

And they were both bright red. Twi lightly patting the dragon on the head and being infected with that same giggle, “I always had a feeling you’d be an artist of some kind”
“And I always wondered why you were never a novelist, but now I see why.” Spike quipped back with a little grin.

Twilight nodded, still crimson, “Yes… Y'know I feel like I’ve learned something as cliche as it is.”

“What? That there’s no wrong way to fantasize?” Spike giggled out.

“No… but yes. A good friend knows the fact that there’s no wrong way to fantasize, and will accept you no matter what it is.” She grinned and got a teasing look of her own, “speaking of which… You have a sketchbook? If you’d be so inclined maybe Itundómë could make a graphic novel!”

“Perhaps, perhaps. Although I’d think you’d be against me drawing your self insert” Spike giggled a bit again and nudged her side, getting another giggle out of her.

“Well I mean, You’ve already found out my weirdest secrets, so at this point I don’t really see it as a…”

A shrill voice cut her off, as pinkie pie stood outside of a nearby window, “CAN YOU TWO JUST BUCK ALREADY?”

Author's Note

Well I hope you enjoyed! I already noted this in the summary but tell me anything I could improve, and anything you might want to see in the future.