Mobile Municipality

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Trixie, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 2035

Ruling all of Equestria is kind of boring. Starlight and Trixie decide to start their own traveling town as a hobby.

Ruling all of Equestria is kind of boring. Starlight and Trixie decide to start their own traveling town as a hobby.

Originally written as a Secret Santa Gift for Trick Question as part of Jinglemas 2018
Plot suggested by Damaged
Prereading by BorealStargazer

Published 2018-12-29 12:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-29 12:10:01 UTC

Portable Principality

Starlight lay on her back amid scattered silken sheets, breathing hard and doing her best not to twitch and crush the skull of the unicorn between her legs.

Trixie was busy giving. Starlight was busy receiving. ‘Twas the season, after all. The hidden benefit to Starlight was that it kept Trixie’s mouth occupied and quiet, and really, that was all she wanted for Hearth’s Warming.

Trixie’s head came up, wearing a triumphant grin as she saw Starlight’s euphoric expression. Trixie’s eyes flashed red, magic expressed in her emotions and powered by the amulet around her neck.

Starlight’s forehooves found Trixie’s face and she did her best to show appreciation, but wound up just limply patting her cheek. “Thanks,” she gasped

“Couldn’t even summon up one of your rousing speeches?” Trixie said.

“Don’t care, no constituents,” Starlight replied. She collapsed back onto the mattress.

Trixie cocked her head. “You mean those ponies you brainwashed into being a village?”

“Yes.”

Trixie crawled up the bed and lay down beside Starlight, snuggling into her shoulder. “Maybe we should start a little village of our own. Can you see us? Trixie and Starlight ruling as co-mayors?”

Starlight had caught her breath. “Was Ponyville not enough for you?”

“Well, now that Trixie’s score is settled there, maybe she just wants to spend more time with her chief advisor.” Trixie nuzzled Starlight’s neck. “It could be fun, like a hobby now that all of Equestria is under our control and we’ve got nothing else to do.”

“Hmm.” Starlight smiled, running a hoof through Trixie’s mane. “I suppose I could stand to spend some time with my Great and Powerful magician. Which town do you want to take over?”

“Oh?” Trixie said, raising her head. “Trixie thought you might want to start one from scratch.”

“Both are good suggestions,” Starlight mused. She paused, tilting her head towards Trixie. “I just had a thought. You like traveling, are you sure you want to settle down?”

“Well, Trixie will always have her wagon. Once it gets back from being completely plated in gold from that one shop.”

“The goldsmith?”

“Trixie didn’t want to assume.”

Starlight was again deep in thought. “What if it was a city we could rule...on the road?”

“A portable city?” Trixie considered it. “That...seems like it would require a lot of wheels.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” said Starlight. She gave Trixie a quick kiss and got up from bed, stretching. “This is going to take money, though, so let’s go shake down the treasury.”

Trixie put on her robe and wizard hat. The two of them walked out of their bedroom in the south tower of Canterlot Castle. The morning sun came in through the windows, warming the stone halls on a brisk winter day. It was a quick trip downstairs to the great hall.

Princess Celestia was holding court when the two of them walked in. The line of ponies vying for Celestia’s attention disappeared as if by magic - because it was.

Celestia turned to look at Starlight and Trixie, expression cross. “Did you have to just magic away that many citizens?”

“It’s quieter in here that way,” said Starlight.

“Though, having them watch you give us money to build a traveling town would be quite a show,” said Trixie.

Celestia sighed. “What now?”

“We decided running a small city sounded like a fun pet project,” said Starlight. “But we don’t want to be tied down to any one location, so we’re going to build a portable one.”

“That’s the biggest waste of money I’ve ever heard,” said Celestia. “When you demand access to the royal coffers like a bully shaking down lunch money, you could at least put it towards something useful!”

“Well, you kind of stopped having any say in that when we took over,” Trixie pointed out. “You’re lucky that running a kingdom is boring and we left you in charge as a figurehead.”

Celestia ground her teeth. “One day, you will get what is coming to you.”

“Heave the horseapples, Celestia. If you had something more powerful than the Elements you would have tipped your hoof by now.” Starlight rolled her eyes. She and Trixie turned to go. Starlight called over her shoulder, “Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

The two of them left the room and headed for the gold vault. There was some muttering among the royal guards when they approached, but none of them were willing to suffer the long-term wrath of a cunning strategist like Starlight or be the victim of embarrassing visual puns from a facetious overpowered stage magician like Trixie. They stepped out of the way and let the two mares waltz in to collect whatever amount of bits they wanted.

The easiest way to get started on their project would simply have been to go off to the local industrial contractors and demand they build a portable city under threat of being magicked into an unpleasant transformation. However, that was not really sustainable and the Equestrian economy would collapse without transfer of money to keep things moving, so Starlight was always careful to pay for things. On a small scale, such as in a single village, the barter system and equality could eliminate the need for money, but trying to implement the same system nationwide was really too much of a headache and she would rather just spend time with her marefriend.

Trixie didn’t quite understand the implications inherent in running a national economy, but she did enjoy spending money, and so Starlight made sure to regularly raid the royal treasury. It wasn’t like Celestia did anything with the money.

Some of Starlight’s financial prowess was from being a natural forward-thinker and planner, but some admittedly was trial and error. When she and Trixie had first taken over, they’d done all the tacky nouveau riche things like swimming in pools of bits and buying ostriches just to joust from their backs. But honestly, money didn’t buy happiness, it just bought entertainment. It was an expensive lesson (to the Equestrian taxpayers, anyway), but Starlight and Trixie had eventually realized that gold-plated bonbons and diamond-studded falconry accessories were fine, but what they really wanted was each other.

Maybe Twilight Sparkle was vindicated in trying to teach lessons on interpony relations, but she’d been defeated just like all the rest so it didn’t matter if she might have been right.

“What style were you thinking?” Starlight asked as the two of them walked out of the castle into the bright morning, wearing scarves and earmuffs. Despite Celestia’s attitude towards them, she dutifully followed the weather schedule they had written.

“Well, Trixie knows that you prefer the more traditional style. One would not call Trixie a traditionalist per se, but she does appreciate that small towns generally have a more homely and intimate atmosphere.”

Starlight raised her eyebrows. “I mean, I guess if it’s going to be mobile, it’s going to have to be a small town anyway, so that makes sense.”

Trixie smirked. “Was there ever any doubt? So, who do we get to build it?”

The two of them looked at each other for a moment.

“Ponyville?”

“Ponyville.”

They whisked off to the south in a commandeered royal airship. On the way, Trixie busied herself with a design of the city. The drawings were mostly glitter and pictures of how she would stroll regally through the streets, but she was nice enough to include a picture of Starlight, too.

Glancing out the window, Starlight saw a rainbow streak approaching. Even in the distance, she saw the exasperated roll of eyes from Rainbow Dash as she saw who was visiting. She escorted the airship all the way to landing in the Ponyville town square.

Starlight and Trixie stepped out. The town seemed to have retreated into itself; nopony was left in the square. Nobody but the six who’d tried and failed to stop them in the past.

It wasn’t like they could do anything now, but they still showed up. Habit, maybe.

“What do you want?” said Twilight Sparkle, flanked by her friends.

Starlight appreciated the efficiency in her manner, though it was a little annoying how she hadn’t just accepted the new paradigm of rule and moved on.

“We want to hire your entire town to build a new town, on wheels,” said Starlight.

Applejack blinked in confusion. “But...why? I thought Trixie didn’t even like wheels.”

“Trixie doesn’t trust wheels,” Trixie corrected. “Though they are generally a necessary evil. They could threaten the integrity of the town, but by making the town mobile, it could avoid many monster and natural disasters. Wheels are lower-risk than the alternative.”

“That’s…” Rarity began, but stopped, frowning. “...not the worst idea I’ve ever heard. How did you come up with this plan?”

“It sounded fun,” said Starlight.

“Since when do you do things spontaneously?” accused Pinkie “You planned for years to make everypony in Equestria equal by stealing their cutie marks.”

“And I stopped when I found somepony I didn’t want to be equal,” said Starlight with a shrug.

“It helps that Trixie is the most powerful unicorn alive,” Trixie added.

“Why didn’t you just equalize her too and take that stupid amulet?” said Rainbow Dash.

“I’m not crazy enough to want that kind of power.” Starlight shrugged. “Besides, absolute power is kind of lonely.”

“I...guess we should be happy the two of you get along so well,” murmured Fluttershy. “I just wish you’d treat everypony else nicer.”

“Are we not letting you live your lives and offering to pay you for employment?” said Starlight.

“Whatever,” said Rainbow. “Vivo the resolution.”

“Vive la révolution,” corrected Applejack.

“Are we having a revolution?” said Pinkie. “I mean, those are usually done in secret until it’s time for the main event, just like a surprise party, so maaaybe talking about it right here in front of them isn’t the greatest idea.”

“We will get Equestria out from under your oppressive hoof,” said Twilight directly to Starlight and Trixie.

“Yeah, yeah.” Trixie waved a hoof. “Any plan you come up with Starlight will just see through. All of you are so boring.”

“How dare you,” Rarity retorted, stepping forward. “As if you’re so high and mighty with your unimaginative plans for world domination. It’s been done!”

Trixie’s magic flared in anger, but Starlight put a hoof in front of her. They traded glances, and instead of Trixie giving Rarity the worst hair day of her life, Starlight stepped forward, lifting a notebook and a quill.

“Well, if you think we aren’t creative enough…” said Starlight as she wrote. “How about this? You are now married to-” she turned to Twilight “-what was your dragon little brother’s name? Spike?” She turned back to Rarity and finished writing, tearing off the paper and presenting it. “This is an official marriage license. You’re now married to Spike.”

Trixie blinked in surprise and then burst out laughing. Rarity let out one long gasp until she fainted, not even able to summon a couch before doing so.

Pinkie snatched up the note, eyes darting over the text. “A marriage is between two ponies who love each other very much, not over a piece of paper!”

“It-it must be legally binding,” Twilight said through grit teeth. “She is the law.”

“You’re not going to get away with this!” shouted Rainbow.

“No...” moaned Rarity, who had awoken but still lay flat on her back. “Nopony do anything else to antagonize her. She might write a p-p-procreation permit.”

The others stared at Starlight and Trixie with a little more respectful wariness than before.

“Let’s get back to business,” said Starlight, hefting the bag of gold from the royal treasury. “We want this portable city built.”

“Trixie has expertly designed it to be the most beautiful, modern, and advanced settlement in all the land.” Trixie magically enlarged and sharpened her earlier drawings for the benefit of the audience. They stared dumbly at the sketches.

Behind her, Starlight held up a page from her notebook, on which was written “Applause.” Twilight and her friends hastily complied. Trixie took a bow.

“And while you’re at it, maybe add a little Hearth’s Warming cheer.”

“Slavedriver,” muttered Twilight.