White Elephant

by Jest

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6074

Twilight and her friends gather in the castle of friendship in order to participate in their annual white elephant gift exchange, hijinks ensue.

Twilight and her friends gather in the castle of friendship in order to participate in their annual white elephant gift exchange, and if they are lucky, Fluttershy will finally join them.

Hello front page!

Published 2018-12-21 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-21 23:50:02 UTC

The Exchange

Twilight giggled. “I don't think she means literally Spike.”

“B-but she said I rocked her world!” Spike exclaimed.

“You knocked her over with a rock.” Twilight remarked with a smirk. “She was trying to be funny.”

The dragon raised a claw and was about to speak when he suddenly wilted. “Point taken.”

“Really Spike, I’m shocked at you. For the amount of puns Starlight makes, you would think you'd know better by now.” Twilight chuckled, using her magic to finishing taping up her gift before holding it aloft. “Perfect.”

Spike tapped his foot in irritation. “Can I turn around now?”

“You may.”

The dragon turned around and took one look at the festively wrapped square in Twilight’s magic. “It's a book.”

“Oh come on!” Twilight cried. “I put it in a box and everything! How did you know?”

“It's always a book.” Spike pointed out.

The alicorn wilted. “Fine. I guess you do have a point.”

“So what kind of book did you get Applejack for your white elephant thingy?”

“You mean the gift exchange?” Twilight asked, smirking at Spike’s annoyance.

“You know what I meant.”

“Yes. This is what I’m getting her.”

“Why did you wait until the last minute anyway? Most of the girls are already here.” Spike remarked.

“Because. Rainbow Dash likes to find out what everyone is getting before the exchange.” The alicorn smirked. “So I hid it in the one place I knew she wouldn't look.”

“The non fiction section?” Spike asked.

“Exactly.” Twilight chuckled. “Right between the history of Equestria and the history of tea sets.” The alicorn got out of her chair and trotted over to the door.

“That's pretty smart Twilight. I don't even think Rainbow Dash knows what a tea set is.” Spike remarked with a snicker, keeping up with the alicorn as she trotted to the door.

Twilight chuckled, walking out into the hallway. “Now that's not fair. I’m sure she knows plenty of stuff that you don't.”

Spike snorted. “Yeah, like how to sleep upside down.”

The alicorn stopped and looked down at her assistant. “Wait. How didn't she get fall unconscious due to the blood rushing to her head?”

“Hey Twilight! Nice of you to finally join us!” Applejack announced heartily, making her way up to the alicorn and giving her a firm pat on the back.

Which had the effect of nearly knocking the wind out of the alicorn, and making her wheeze as she tried to catch her breathe. “Nice to see you too Applejack.” Twilight muttered breathlessly.

“Aww shucks. You know how much I love this whole white elephant gift thing you thought of.” She smirked. “It's the one gift exchange where my terrible gift giving is a good thing.”

Twilight winced, having just realized that her gift had strayed from the realm of the silly, to the genuinely useful. With a shrug of her shoulders she ignored this little bit of information, as it was too late to do anything about it now. “Are the rest of the girls here?” Twilight asked as they walked the halls of her crystal castle.

“Nah, R.D and Fluttershy and Pinkie still haven't shown up, but Rarity is here.” Applejack smiled. “Thanks again for looking after the crusaders Spike. I know they are old enough to be on their lonesome but having someone a bit more responsible sure takes a load off my mind.”

The dragon shrugged. “It's cool. I like hanging out with them, even if I’m relegated to the voice of reason most of the time.”

Twilight chuckled. “Don't worry spike. I’m sure when they enter high school they will become a little less like a pack of hellions.”

The dragon snorted. “I hope so.” He turned down a side hall and waved over his shoulder. “Later Twilight.”

“Have a good night Spike!” Twilight called after him, before being pulled down a side hall by a rather enthusiastic Applejack.

“So whose name did ya get?” Applejack asked.

“Your not supposed to tell.” Twilight remarked.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh come on Twilight. We are opening them in like ten minutes!”

“Now, now you know what they say. To spoil the surprise is take away half the gift.” Rarity suddenly added.

The pair trotted into the living room, where Rarity sat with a cup of tea in hoof, watching her two friends enter the room. “Isn't that right darling?”

“Exactly.” Twilight agreed, throwing her nose up and earning her a snort of annoyance from Applejack.

“Well I got Rainbow Dash this year and I got a feelin y'all are going to get a hoot out of my gift” Applejack said proudly, standing next to what looked like a gift wrapped barrel.

“Did you just cover a barrel in wrapping paper?” Twilight asked. “I know it's a white elephant gift, but really, a barrel?”

The earth pony sputtered. “It's not just a barrel! Besides, everypony knows you are just gonna give somepony a book.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Really Applejack. You say that like it's a bad thing.”

“Yeah!” Twilight replied pointedly, before flopping down in the chair next to the unicorn and placing her present under the tree.

“It's like how Rainbow Dash will always get something that makes a bad pun. It's not so bad, because that's just what we've come to expect from her.” Rarity said, before sipping her tea.

“Hey! I’m not…” The alicorn wilted. “Fair point.”

Applejack chuckled, making her way over to the corner of the room where the large hearth's warming tree was lit up, and several presents rested under. Other then Twilight’s box and Applejack’s barrel, there was also an elegantly wrapped box complete with a large bow and a simple yet elegant card that laid atop it.

Twilight smirked. “Let me guess, you went over the dollar limit again?”

“Actually no I didn't.” Rarity replied rather haughtighly.

“And if it counted your labor?” Applejack asked, watching closely as the fashionista sputtered. “Uh huh, that's what I thought.”

“I’ll have you know that doesn't count so there.” Rarity shot back, and then leaning a little closer to Twilight. “It doesn't count, right?”

“It's a bit of a grey area I’ll admit.” Twilight shrugged. “I’d say your fine, but try not to do so again as you might be going against the spirit of the gift exchange.”

Applejack stuck out her tongue at the unicorn, and snickered at the fashionable pony’s obvious distaste before pulling up a chair next to her and flopping into it. “So! Now that we got the yearly teasin out of the way we can get down to business. Namely, the business of getting Fluttershy to join us, how'd y'all do?”

Twilight shrugged. “She kept making excuses every time I asked her, but she did say she might be ready in time for this year. Whatever that means.”

“Do you think she's struggling financially?” Rarity frowned. “I don't mean to sound mean but the dear would probably spend every bit she had on those animals of hers.”

“I don't think so.” Applejack added, pouring herself a cup of cider before adding a healthy dollop of her own special cider from a silver flask she hid in her hat. “She doesn't look the type but she does actually make a tidy sum off her veterinary business and plenty of folk are willing to pay top dollar to harness that stare a hers.”

Twilight tapped her chin. “I never thought about it like that, but I suppose it makes sense.”

“Perhaps we should change topics.” Rarity offered. “It's impolite to discuss another pony’s finances after all.”

Applejack leaned forward and was about to offer a rather interesting topic of her own, one that was in no way related to apples, for once, when an explosion of energy named Pinkie Pie burst into the room. “I’m not late am I?”

The mare’s eyes were wide and under one foreleg was a decent size box that was just large enough to hold a tea set, or exactly two hundred and thirty nine ping pong balls. Twilight, blissfully unaware of just how many ping pong balls the pony’s box could contain, smiled and gestured to an empty chair. “No, your actually a few minutes early.”

The party pony breathed a sigh of relief and placed her box under the tree. “Oh thank goodness. I got held up with some last minute orders and I just couldn't leave Mrs Cake to do them all by herself.”

“Mr Cake still down with the flu?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie Pie nodded and hopped up into the chair. “Oh yeah, it's a doozy.”

“That's unfortunate.” Applejack muttered while wiping her face down with a cloth that had been saved in case of just such an emergency.

“Oooh nice barrel.” Pinkie Pie remarked, while poking said barrel.

“Why thank ya. It's a gift for Rainbow Dash.” Applejack announced proudly, only to get a face full of astonished Pinkie Pie.

“You can't say that, it goes against the party code! The party code Applejack!” Pinkie Pie yelled, her hooves squeezing the irritated earth pony’s cheeks.

“Yeah Applejack, the party code.” Twilight added, with a prideful smirk.

The farmer snorted. “Bah, whuheva.” She muttered.

Pinkie Pie hopped back to her seat and shook her head disapprovingly, which was somehow much worse then the face squeezing. “For shame Applejack.”

Rarity snickered, but disguised her amusement as sipping her tea when Applejack turned and shot her a glare. “I don't get what's the big deal about-” Applejack began

Whatever excuse she was going to make was cut off when a rainbow blur shot into the room and skidded across the carpet. The magically capable ponies in the room covered the top of their drink with their magic, which left Applejack with a face full of slightly alcoholic cider and a building resentment towards Rainbow Dash.

“Good evening Rainbow Dash.” She spat, glaring intensely at the speedster.

Who, in turn, merely shrugged. “Sup? Am I late?”

“Nope.” Twilight replied, sipping the last of her tea and setting the cup aside. “Your just on time actually.”

“Good!” The speedster announced. “Cus boy I got a doozy for you girls.”

“Oh no!” Pinkie Pie hopped up and pressed a stethoscope to the pegasus’ chest. “Hmm, I don't here anything!” She gasped. “Rainbow Dash doesn't have a heart!”

The pegasus rolled her eyes. “That's my leg. Also, I’m not sick.”

Pinkie Pie frowned. “Why didn't you say so in the first place?” The mare shook her head and tossed aside her stethoscope. “Sheesh.”

“So, what is this ‘doozy’ you have for us?” Twilight asked, while trying to ignore the fact that Pinkie had plucked the stethoscope out of what looked like mid air.

“Before I start.” Rainbow Dash turned and retreived a small wooden box wrapped in a bow from her back before placing it under the tree with the rest of the gifts. “There, perfect.”

“You were saying?” Rarity reminded.

The pegasus hopped into her chair and smirked. “Your looking at the mare who finally convinced Fluttershy to join our little gift exchange.”

“Well shoot. How’d you do it?” Applejack asked in an appropriately country sounding accent.

“I just asked.” Rainbow Dash smirked. “I’m that good.”

“No, but really darling, what did you do?” Rarity implored. “I tried everything with that mare but she simply refused to join us no matter what I did.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I just showed up at her place and asked her right before I flew over here. It took some convincing but in the end she said she would join but that it wouldn't be for awhile so we should start without her.”

“Well I’ll be.” Applejack remarked. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Wait, who had Fluttershy then?” Twilight asked, looking around the room.

“I did, and don't worry. I came prepared just in case she did decided to join us at the last minute.” Rarity replied.

The unicorn reached behind the tree and retrieved another, nearly identical package, only this one was trimmed in butter yellow and bright pink. “Wowee Rarity. You really are prepared for anything.” Pinkie Pie remarked.

The unicorn smirked. “Well I was a beaver scout you know.”

Rainbow Dash snickered, earning her a glare from the now, slightly less proud unicorn. The pegasus held up her hooves defensively. “I didn't say nothin.”

“So should we wait for her or?” Applejack asked, glancing over at her only thinly disguised barrel. “Cus mine is kinda time sensitive.”

“She did say to start without her, so I suppose we could begin opening gifts.” Twilight muttered, half tempted to retrieve her book on the subject, but wasn't quite ready for another round of good natured ribbing quite yet.

“Awesome.” Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof in the air. “Whose first?”

“Oh oh me, pick me!” Pinkie Pie yelled, waving her hoof in the air excitedly.

Twilight shook her head. “Sorry Pinkie, but I kind of want to get this out of the way first.”

The pink pony pouted. “Fooey.”

Twilight shook her head and retreived her package from beneath the tree, handing it over to Applejack. “I hope you like it.” Twilight smiled. “And before you ask, yes, it is a book.”

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash clopped hooves. “Called it.”

“Now darlings. I’m sure she at least did better than last year.” Rarity offered graciously, before smirking. “I mean it's not exactly a high bar but still.”

The alicorn groaned and shook the package. “Would you hurry up and open it already.”

Applejack chuckled and took the box from Twilight. “Alright alright. Let's see what we got this time.”

The earth pony tore through the packaging and tossed it aside, where it was caught by Rarity who carefully folded it and placed it on the floor next to the tree. Applejack flipped open the lid of the box and then stopped. “What the hay?”

Twilight giggled through her hooves. “Do you get it?”

“Err yeah.” The earth pony muttered.

“Come on already! What is it?” Rainbow Dash complained.

“Is it a book on books? Or a book about books, about books?” Pinkie Pie’s eyes went wide and she leaned forward in her chair. “Or maybe it's a book about books about boo-”

“We get it Pinkie Pie.” Rainbow Dash exclaimed dryly.

“Well it certainly is a book.” Applejack muttered before pulling out said book and showing the world the ridiculousness that was Twilight’s gift.

“Giving gifts for dummies.” Rarity blinked. “That’s a little mean spirited don't you think?”

“Oh come on! It's a book about buying gifts, it's a meta joke!” Twilight exclaimed, gesturing towards the earth pony. “Because Applejack isn't very good about buying things for people, and everyone thought I’d get her a book.” She frowned. “It's funny.”

“Sure it is Twilight.” Pinkie Pie nodded somberly and patted the alicorn’s leg. “Sure it is.”

“Humph.” The alicorn crossed her hooves, and sipped her tea with as much rage as one could possibly sip tea with.

“Wait a tick.” Applejack’s eyes narrowed and she turned the book over. “Written by Twilight Sparkle and published by Sparkle house?” The earth pony blinked. “Did you write this Twilight?”

“Well it's not like there are a lot of other Twilight Sparkles.” Rainbow Dash remarked dryly. “Wait, sparkle house? Do you have your own publishing company?”

“Well yeah. I mean, how do you think I get so many books published?” Twilight remarked, quite matter of factly. “It's selling pretty well too. Plenty of ponies looking for advice on gift giving this time of year.”

“I…” Rarity chuckled. “I suppose that explains a lot.”

“Yeah I guess.” Applejack muttered. “Thanks Twi.”

The alicorn smiled widely. “Your welcome.”

The mares all sat there silently for a moment before Pinkie Pie spoke up. “Wait, none of you read any of Twilight’s books? Their great, especially that one about the reproductive habits of-” Twilight’s hoof stopped that train of words before it could leave the station.

“They don't need to know about that one.” Twilight added quickly, before gesturing to Applejack. “Why don't you give your gift, as in right now. Please.”

“Err sure.” Applejack trotted over to the tree and grabbed the barrel in both hooves before hefting it over a shoulder and walking it over to Rainbow Dash before dropping it before the pegasus, the contents of which sloshed audibly when barrel met floor once more. “Here ya are R.D, my gift to you.”

The pegasus eyed the barrel cautiously. “What did you get me, a barrel of water?” She frowned. “Cus that would be lame.”

“I think it would be funny.” Rarity offered.

“Well it ain't water.” Applejack exclaimed. “Why don't you open it and find out?”

The pegasus shrugged. “Alright, but if you put well water in here, all for the sake of making a pun I am going to be pissed. That's my shtick.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Would you open it already?”

Rainbow Dash gave the earth pony one last glare before tearing into the wrapping paper and shredding it in seconds. Which, once more left Rarity with the duty of piling the offending detris that had the audacity to cling to the sides of Rainbow Dash’s completely average looking barrel.

“Err…” Pinkie Pie scratched her head and eyed the wooden sphere up and down. “What's in it?”

“Why don't you take a look?” Applejack offered.

Rainbow Dash nodded and turned the barrel over to the side where a spigot was taped to the barrel. “So uh, what do I do with this?”

“See that little part there.” The earth pony pointed to the top of the barrel. “You take the spigot and ram it right in there.”

“Hold on!” Rarity yelled, before picking up her chair in her magic and sitting across the room from them. “Alright, ready.”

The pegasus licked her lips and eyed the indicated spot a little closer. “It's not cider, is it?” She asked curiously.

Applejack’s face scrunched up as her body barely managed to contain the nearly overwhelming desire to tell the truth. “Maybe.”

“Oh it is isn't it!” Rainbow Dash spat in her hooves and rubbed them together. “Oh I can already taste it! Let's tap this sucker!”

“Woo! Go Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie cheered from the side lines.

The pegasus gripped the spigot in both hooves before slamming it into the top with all the force she could muster, which managed to earn her mere milliliters of penetration. “Oh come on.” The pegasus leapt into the air and brought her hoof down once more, driving the spigot a little deeper.

Applejack shook her head and walked up to the barrel, placing a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Your going to hurt yourself doing it like that, let me do it.”

“I can do it!” The pegasus yelled while flying a nearly to the point that her head brushed the ceiling. “Perfect.”

Pinkie Pie popped an umbrella. “Woohoo! Rainbow buster time!”

Twilight conjured a light shield around her and Applejack, earning her an appreciative nod from the farmer. “Alright, were ready!” She called.

The pegasus’ eyes narrowed and she dived down at the barrel, building a surprising amount of speed before slamming into the spigot and driving it deep into the barrel. Which had the adverse effect of sending Rainbow Dash and a single spurt of bright rainbow liquid flying across the room. The pegasus bounced off the side of the barrel and flew into the tree, while the liquid went flying through the air, directly onto the head of a cowering unicorn who hid beneath a silver platter.

Unfortunately the platter was aimed a little too far to the right, and thus left side of the mare’s face open to the rainbow liquid that splashed across her features. An ear splitting squeal of disgust heralded Rarity’s realization of what had just occurred and the mare ran screaming out of the room and towards the nearest bathroom.

The rest of the ponies took a second to gather themself and look around, quickly finding that disaster had been more or less averted, despite their expectation to the contrary. “Where's Rainbow Dash?” Twilight muttered.

A teal hoof poked out of the tree. “Over here!” A second later the pine needle covered form of Rainbow Dash emerged from the tree.

“Whew, that was close.” Pinkie Pie remarked, closing her parasoul and tossing it aside.

“I’ll say.” Applejack muttered, only to glance at Rainbow Dash a second too late. “Wait, don't!”

With a heave, the pegasus shook herself violently, spraying pine needles in all directions. Thus closing the brief window where everyone was able to breathe without the scent of pine needles filling their nose, which closed a second later and was gone forever.

Twilight sighed, and looked around the now needle covered room. “Wonderful.” She muttered.

Thankfully it didn't take much magic to gather up the pine needles and teleport them outside, what she couldn't do much about was the fact that everything in the room was now pine scented. Applejack removed her hat and gave it a shake, knocking the last bit of pine needles out of it before plunking it back on her head. Pinkie Pie peeked out from under the cushion she was hiding under, and after seeing that the coast was clear, hopped back up onto her chair.

“Hey Twilight you got a table I can put this bad boy on?” Rainbow Dash asked, gesturing to the barrel.

With a brief flash of magic a small end table appeared and a second later the barrel was propped up by two blocks of wood. Rainbow Dash waited impatiently with a cup in hoof, watching closely as Twilight turned the barrel so the spigot faced down. “Come on already.” She whined.

“Hold on, it will only take a second.” Twilight replied. “There.”

Rainbow Dash put her cup beneath the spigot and cranked it open only to be greeted by the delectable scent of Apple family cider, only there was something slightly off. “Is this what I think it is?” Rainbow Dash asked, eyes going as wide as dinner plates.

Applejack smirked. “That depends. Do you think it's my super secret zap apple cider?”

“Wow Applejack, that's very generous of you.” Rarity pointed out.

“Quite.” Twilight added with a nod.

Rainbow Dash watched in utter fascination as liquid rainbows seemed to swirl in her cup. “I don't know what to say A.J.” She muttered.

“Don't thank me yet. We tried some sort of fancy preservation method this time around.” The earth pony chuckled. “Didn't work out like we thought it would. In fact that whole barrel is about to go bad in about…” She tapped her chin, before turning to Twilight. “Hey what time is it?”

“Quarter after seven.” Twilight responded instantly.

“Forty five minutes.” Applejack finished.

Rainbow Dash looked from Applejack to her now full cup and then back again. “Your telling me I have only forty five minutes to drink this entire barrel of cider?”

“Maaaybe you shouldn't drink all of it.” Pinkie Pie winced, rubbing a hoof over her belly. “I’ve tried it before and trust me when I say that it will not end well.”

The pegasus shook her head, patting Pinkie Pie’s hoof sadly. “I’m afraid this is goodbye then.”

Rainbow Dash threw back the cup and swallowed the entire contents therein a single gulp before diving beneath the spigot, throwing it open, drinking directly from the tap. Her friends stood there silently, watching as the mare continued to pound back more and more cider, her cheeks bulging as she gulped down mouthful after mouthful.

“Should we stop her?” Rarity asked nervously.

Pinkie Pie frowned. “Well, it is her present.”

Twilight shrugged. “She’ll probably throw up soon.”

“Yeah, shouldn't take long now.” Applejack added.

The four friends sat silently, watching and waiting for the inevitable, yet as the minutes passed and time ticked on they grew less and less confident that there even was going to be an end to this increasingly disturbing sight.

“Uh…” Pinkie Pie looked over at Twilight. “Shouldn't she have thrown up by now? I mean, I’m no doctor but that looked like a lot.”

Twilight nodded. “She should have. There is no way the average pony’s stomach could take that much that quickly.”

“Maybe Rainbow Dash is err… unique?” Rarity offered.

The pegasus herself didn't even give Rarity a glance of distaste, as she was too caught up with her self imposed goal of filling her filling herself with cider.

Applejack scratched her head. “Should we just keep going then?”

Rainbow Dash closed the spigot, hopped up onto unstable hooves and sprinted over to the tree, before throwing her wooden box at Pinkie Pie. “Ihopeyoulikeit.” She said before diving back under the spigot and throwing it wide open once more.

“Ooookay.” Pinkie Pie muttered.

“Alright then.” Twilight glanced at the ribbon wrapped box. “I guess that's for you Pinkie.”

“I guess so.” The party pony shrugged before undoing the ribbon and cracking open the box. “What the hay?” She muttered, reaching inside and pulling out what looked like a cigar with a note attached to it.

“What does it say?” Rarity asked, only to frown. “It's going to be some sort of terrible pun isn't it?”

Applejack shook her head. “I don't know why you thought giving that girl a book of puns was a good idea Twilight.”

The alicorn frowned. “I didn't think she'd actually read it!”

Pinkie Pie snorted. “Oh that's actually pretty good.”

“Oh? Well you might as well get it over with darling.” Rarity sighed, sitting back in her chair and bracing herself as if Pinkie was about to hop out of her chair and clock the fashionable pony across the nose.

“Ahem.” Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. “Buying gifts for Pinkie Pie is a hard thing to do, as she is the type of pony who has everything. She lives in a bakery, so that rules out snacks. She ain't much of a reader, so that rules out books. She owns every game I’ve ever heard of, so that rules out that. With nothing left to give you, I ended up getting you some cigars, because the rest of my ideas have already gone up in smoke.”

The three mares all groaned while Pinkie giggled. “Good one Dashie.”

The pegasus raised a triumphant hoof from her spot beneath the barrel.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Anyway. Who did you get Pinkie Pie?”

“Oh!” Pinkie Pie hopped out of her chair. “I got Rarity!”

When the party pony turned to grab her present from beneath the tree Applejack and Twilight both shot an envious glance at Rarity, who smirked triumphantly, wiping some invisible dust from her shoulder. When Pinkie Pie turned back around all three friends were back in the same position they had been when she turned around, as if nothing had even happened.

“Huh.” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “I hope you like it Rarity.”

The fashionista glanced down at the rather large package and picked it up with her magic. “That's quite heavy.” She chuckled. “You didn't get me rocks did you?”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “Nope!” She scratched her chin, her face suddenly screwing up into a mask of concentration. “Unless I mixed up yours and Maud's gift. Or yours and Limestone’s or yours and Marble’s.”

“Err, let's just see, shall we?” Rarity said, before neatly unwrapping the gift perfectly, ensuring that the entire thing came off the box in a single massive sheet of paper. She tucked the paper beside the rest. “Now then, let's see what we have here.”

Applejack and Twilight both leaned forward in their chairs, peering intently at Rarity as she delicately lifted the top of the box and reached inside. By the time the pony retreived what was inside the box, the two envious ponies were at the edge of their seats. “Wait what?” They both muttered.

“It's a coupon book!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily. “It's got over three thousand coupons for all kinds of stuff from fridges to cakes!”

Rarity blinked, flipping through the tome of coupons and quickly finding that there were indeed hundreds of the things that gave discounts on a multitude of different products. “This certainly is something.” She muttered.

Pinkie Pie giggled. “I’m glad you like it. I know it's not something you would use, but I just know that you would find the perfect pony who would! Plus it is kind of silly, giving Rarity a book of coupons.”

The fashionable pony smiled wide. “This is perfect Pinkie Pie! I know just the pony who needs the helping hoof.” Rarity smirked she noticed a page that stuck out from the rest “I appreciate the uh, special coupons as well.”

AJ and Twilight leaned in, noticing that there was a page that was slightly larger than the rest that had been added to the book, only this one did not appear professionally printed, in fact quite the opposite. Crayon drawings of Rarity eating various baked goods next to a grinning Pinkie Pie adorned the sheet, with small, neat script written beneath indicating a wide array of discounts on many different things.

Pinkie Pie grinned proudly. “Why thank you Rarity. Also, those are one hundred percent legitimate, Mrs Cake made them official and everything.”

Rarity chuckled and closed the book, setting it aside. “As always Pinkie, your gifting skills are bar none.”

“I’d ask for pointers if I didn't have this.” Applejack remarked, lifting up Twilight’s book.

Twilight grinned, happy that her silly gift was at least partially appreciated, even if it was only ironically so.

“Well I guess that means Fluttershy had Twilight as I had her.” Rarity remarked.

“What did you get her anyway?” Applejack asked.

“None of your business.” Rarity replied haughtily, throwing up her nose.

“It was an expensive dress wasn't it?” Twilight half asked half stated.

“N-no!” Rarity sputtered.

“And you got one for Twilight just in case Fluttershy didn't show up.” Pinkie Pie added, dangling two nearly identical gifts in the air.

“I…” Rarity frowned. “May have done that. But they were not expensive!”

“Counting all the hours you put in making them as well as the materials easily put it over the twenty bit limit huh?” Applejack asked pointedly.

The unicorn gulped. “Well it's a good thing I didn't charge myself for labor.”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “Oh Rarity.”

Twilight joined her friends as they all laughed with Rarity and her inability to tone down her generosity for even a day. The fashionable mare quickly joined as well, her body relaxing as she realized they were indeed laughing with her, and not at her. Even Rainbow Dash joined them for a moment, although it was only a moment, as she quickly went back to gulping down more of the cider.

When they finally stopped laughing, Rarity smiled and levitated the magenta package toward Twilight. “Here. I know it's impolite to give more then one gift but I would feel remiss if I didn't give this to you now.” She added.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You could have saved it for my birthday you know. It's only a few months away.”

Rarity gasped. “But then it would have been out of season!”

Applejack scratched her head. “How can a dress be out of season? What did you make it out of, licorice?”

Pinkie’s eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh that sounds great! I can't believe you made edible dresses Rarity!”

Rarity sighed, planting a hoof in the centre of her forehead. “That is not what that saying means. What it means is that it would be out of fashion.”

“Ooooh.”

“Huh.” Applejack shrugged. “I don't get it.”

“I think we've teased Rarity quite enough.” Twilight said, giving Applejack a stern look.

The farm pony shrugged. “Not my fault it's so easy.”

“Well I never.” Rarity huffed. “And just when I was… Pinkie darling are you okay?”

All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie, who had a rather intense look of concentration, her face scrunched up and her ears swiveling this way and that. After a few seconds of silence she suddenly stood bolt upright in her chair like a dog who had just caught a scent. “Pink-” Twilight started.

“Shhh!” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Twilight asked.

“Wait, I hear it to.” Rarity added, her ears perking up.

“It's coming from the hall.” Rainbow Dash remarked from the floor, the pegasus having put a temporary stop on her attempt to replace every drop of internal fluid with cider.

“You girls are crazy there is nothing…” Twilight paused. “What is that?”

The sound was deep, thunderous, and soon it wasn't just Rainbow Dash’s disturbingly large stomach that was shaking, but the walls as well. Twilight jumped up, her wings flaring as a spell already began to form. Pinkie Pie hopped behind her, striking a pose she had seen in a karate movie. Applejack followed, with Rarity close behind, both ponies wondering what was going on.

“Little help?” Rainbow Dash asked, the pegasus unable to pick her sagging gut off the ground.

Twilight sighed, and used her magic to levitate Rainbow Dash behind her. “Get ready girls, whatever it is, it's big.”

“R-right.” Rarity muttered, with the rest of her friends offering only slightly more confident affirmations.

A few seconds later, when the booming had become nearly deafening, a trunk emerged, followed by two large tusks, which was in turn followed closely by the white head of a great male elephant. The pachyderm was enormous, and had only barely managed to fit down the wide, accommodating hallways of Twilight’s castle with his passenger, a grinning Fluttershy, still on his back.

When he turned the corner and saw the confused and rather baffled mares he stopped and looked up at Fluttershy nervously. “It's okay Packy, I’m sure the other white elephants are around here somewhere.”

The five friends stared silently at Fluttershy as she hopped off the great beast’s back and flew down towards them, a wide smile on her face. “Hello girls.”

“Uh hi.” Twilight muttered.

“I hope I’m not too late.” Fluttershy added.

“Of course not darling.” Rarity added, glancing up at the oddly nervous looking elephant standing awkwardly in the hall.

“Cool elephant Fluttershy.” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing over to him, and waving excitedly at the enormous mammal. “Hiya Packy! I’m Pinkie Pie.”

The elephant glanced from Fluttershy, who nodded, to the tiny pink thing before nervously extending a leg, which Pinkie Pie eagerly bumped with her own.

“Soo.” Fluttershy smiled. “Where are your elephants?”

“Uhh.” Applejack pushed her hat back and scratched her head. “You do know the whole white elephant thing is metaphorical right?”

Fluttershy blinked, looking from Applejack to Twilight. “But Twilight said it was important to bring a white elephant for the gift exchange.”

“White elephant is actually a metaphor for a gift that is rather silly, and isn't necessarily what someone wants.” Twilight pointed out.

“Hey Twilight can you get diabetes in under thirty minutes?” Rainbow Dash asked weakly. “Cus I’m not sure if it's diabetes or if my heart just stopped.”

Fluttershy frowned. “So your telling me I spent years finding a white elephant, and convincing him that you girls had more friends for him to meet all for nothing?”

“Yeah pretty much!” Pinkie Pie replied from the back of Packy.

“Yup, my heart definitely stopped.”

“Oh poo.” Fluttershy cursed.

Author's Note

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This update was made possible by the wonderful support of:
Kali, Craig, Ozzy, Robert, Quill, JPMK, Tommy, Ivar, Mikhaila, Pacsik, Matt, Brendan, Peter, Nicky, Princess Pudding, Nofreedom, T Sparkle, Apollyon, Luckyfanisaac, Azin, Zairvin, Random_Reader, Iamunkown, Facinus, M, Nfreak, Doomgooey, Michael, Ceepert, Diokyo, Starless.