Derpy's Hearth's Warming Eve

by The Mountaineer Brony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Derpy Hooves
Length: 3176

The reflections of a crosseyed mailmare on the year's most silent night.

As Derpy finishes up a busy holiday season, she reflects on herself, her life, and her experiences on the cold trip home. Little does she know, however, that a Hearth's Warming surprise waits for her.

Set during the Hearth's Warming depicted in S8E15 "The Hearth's Warming Club."
The first in a series of one-offs exploring the world through the crossed eyes of Best Pony. Enjoy! :derpytongue2:

Published 2018-12-24 03:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-24 03:00:01 UTC

Silent Night

At long last, I stepped through the door of that post office. They were just closing up for the night when all eyes turned to me: bundled up like a yak, absolutely covered in snow, with a piece of paper, scribbled with directions, folded up in my mouth.

"Hey Derpy!" the mare sweeping the floor said amidst chuckles. "Must be comin' down pretty hard out there, huh?"

"Sort of." I replied after spitting out the paper. "My last delivery went a little... awry..."

"You smacked into a tree, didn't you?"

I smiled, giving an embarrassed, toothy grin; my eyes lolling in opposing directions gave away the cause of my accident.

The other mare smiled and chuckled, stepping over in my direction.

"Aw, you're fine, girl." She said as she began to knock snow off of me with the broom's bristles. "I don't mind sweeping up. It's actually kind of therapeutic."

"Ah, Miss Derpy! Glad to see you've made it back!" Parcel Post addressed me as he stepped out from the back room. "How was the last run of the night?"

"Just fine. Those foals were really happy to see me coming with presents." I said, my face warming with thoughts of their cheers. "Fortunately, the only thing that took damage from the tree in their yard was me!"

Ponyville's postmaster gave a slight chuckle as I stood there being brushed clean of snow. "Well I certainly hope you're okay. Looks like all that snow softened the impact somewhat."

I looked down at my hooves, focusing as best as my eyes could at the moment. There was a small mountain of snow forming on the floor, most of which had fallen on me from the tree's frost-laden boughs. It was a good think that tree hadn't been decorated, or I'd probably have been pincushioned with lights and ornaments. Yeesh.

"I'm alright." I said with another grin.

"Well, everypony," Parcel began to address the other postponies that had gathered around in the meantime. "I thank you all so much for working late this holiday. The Ponyville Post Office sure has been overwhelmed this season, but you've helped brighten so many ponies' holidays, and for that, I couldn't be prouder of you all." Several ponies stamped the floor with their hooves in quiet applause as the brown stallion continued.

"Now, I know this time of year is stressful on us all, so I hope you take full advantage of the next couple of days to decompress." In addition to Hearth's Warming Day, I enjoy getting Boxing Day off as well; it's a nice gesture to unsung professions like mine, and several ponies in the neighborhood leave me tips or gifts in their mailboxes the following day.

"But before we go," Parcel's voice rose in anticipation. "I'd like to recognize one employee who has gone above and beyond the call of duty this season. Without them, it's very unlikely we'd get through the ever-increasing waves of deliveries coming through our humble little post office." He produced a small wooden plaque from underneath his cap, with a gilded plate screwed onto the front.

"An award of excellence." He said with a smile.

To my surprise, he turned to face me.

"Derpy, you've earned it."

I could feel my smile broaden from ear to ear as I removed the plaque from his outstretched hoof, surrounded by applause. I could feel my jaw drop, too; this thing was so exquisitely polished, I could see myself in it. It read:

PONYVILLE POST OFFICE

AWARD OF EXCELLENCE

For outstanding employee performance

DERPY "MUFFINS" HOOVES

Mail Carriers' Union of Equestria

Local Chapter #1701

Wow, I had forgotten about that nickname. Well, they're not wrong. I do like muffins.

At the time I couldn't believe it, that I was somehow deserving of recognition.

"Even after all the mistakes I've made," I looked up at Parcel Post "and how clumsy I am, you're still giving this to me?"

"Derpy, we're an equal-opportunity employer," he said "and besides, you're one of the best mailmares I've seen in years. You know how to do your job, and you do it well. Not to mention, customers seem to love you, and you certainly brighten up the workplace as well." He put a hoof on my shoulder. "Happy Hearth's Warming, Muffins."

I couldn't help myself. I hugged him.

"Thanks, boss. Happy Hearth's Warming!"

I stared at that plaque for a good bit while walking down the street after closing up shop. I decided not to fly so that I could take in Ponyville's Hearth's Warming atmosphere... and because I've always been steadier on the hoof than on the wing. (That being said, I'm even steadier sitting completely still, but, as Rainbow Dash can attest, even that doesn't guarantee safety from disaster.)

I tilted the award in my wings, looking at it this way and that, and wiping away any snowflakes that touched it. Though I've never been boastful, just once I let myself feel a little cocky. I'd earned this thing, and I was proud, darn proud. It was a simple plaque, certainly, but it didn't need to be glamorous. In fact, I usually prefer the simpler things in life. I'm pretty simple myself from time to time.

Tucking the plaque safely under one wing, I took in a deep breath of the frosty air as I trotted through Ponyville central. There were lights glowing like flares from underneath a blanket of snow, fillies and colts having a snowball fight, and a large group of carolers who sounded absolutely beautiful. I could've sat there and listened to them all night if I'd let myself, but no, I had to get home.

I had to get home... to my big, empty house.

Well, it's not big, per se, but it feels that way when it's empty, which is most of the time.

I... don't particularly like living alone, but you get used to it after a while. I'd love to have a roommate, not only for company and split expenses, but... well, let's just say that I've only ever spent Hearts and Hooves Day alone. Oh, I've given gifts and received them, certainly, but I've never dated anypony. A mare like me doesn't get many offers.

As I watched my reflection in a passing storefront pane, I wondered why. Maybe the two other Derpys standing to either side of me would know?

I faced it long ago, and have long since learned to live with it: I'm not graceful. I've had strabismus since I was a yearling, it's gradually gotten worse, and no amount of corrective lenses or surgery have ever been able to fix it. My eyes just sometimes decide to cooperate and focus in on something; other times, they're not on speaking terms with each other, and other times still they just look at me and say "No, screw you." I'm a medical marvel, I know. I'm probably in a textbook somewhere.

As one might imagine, this throws off my balance something fierce. I'm frankly surprised I can fly at all; I don't think I've ever won a race in my life. As I got older and more coordinated, I gradually learned to compensate for it, and now, at least, I can fly well enough to deliver mail. I also learned at a very young age to be positive through even the worst of times, not that it's always easy. But despite my winning smile and little filly charm, the eyes turn most stallions away. Some mares, too. Not to mention, all those muffins have done a wonderful job rounding out my flanks, although I've been told that some ponies like that.

My flank... as I glanced back at it with these thoughts, I began to regard my Cutie Mark. I can still remember the day I got it, and I remember being confused as to its meaning. I was honestly expecting a muffin or a set of crossed eyes, but instead I got bubbles. Mom and Dad told me that it was because of my bubbly personality, and I suppose they had a point, but I always wondered what other meaning it carried. A fortune teller at a fair once told me that it carried folkloric meaning: seven bubbles, representing both fragility and luck. I suppose I am pretty lucky that I haven't broken any bones or accidentally flown into a woodchipper... yet.

Luck schmuck, I'm still pretty clumsy. Again, it's these eyes. My hoof-eye coordination is terrible. It's a good thing I write with my mouth; I couldn't possibly mess up with the paper that close to my face. Or, at least you'd think so. Some of the names and addresses in this town look awfully similar, especially when they're inches from your face and you're exhausted from a day of work.

As I head in the direction of my home, I pass the carolers, still crooning loudly through the square, my snow-crunching hooves keeping time with their song; I pass Sugarcube Corner, open late, selling what smells like freshly-baked gingerbread. And of course, I pass several ponies with trees for sale at the last minute. I've already got one at home, a little one, since it's just for me. I don't decorate much, both due to the fact that I don't see the need to, living alone on the edge of town, and because I live on a postal worker's salary. I'd love to have a family of my own someday, but as it sits, I don't make enough to consider getting married, let alone having foals. I'd show 'em all the love my family showed me, though, and make sure they had the best Hearth's Warmings.

Family... of course I think about them this time of year. I haven't seen them in so long, I've almost forgotten their voices...

Don't worry, they're still around. I don't want to send the wrong impression. I've been blessed with a loving family, I just don't get to see them much. I'm originally from Cloudsdale, and when my eyesight started to get worse, we moved to Ponyville, which has a very good hospital. My little brother was born there, come to think of it, when I was around 10. We lived here for years, in the same house I occupy now.

Well, I finished high school and my parents told me we'd have to move again because rent was getting too high. I didn't want to leave though, I'd made too many friends, and I really liked the town. I remember at one point, Dad told me "You sound like a mare who's ready to set out on her own." At that point, I realized that yeah, I was. We made arrangements with the landlord, who agreed to knock down the rent for little old me on the condition that I found a job. I started taking on odd jobs--it would be years before I found steady employment at the post office--and my parents and brother moved away.

It absolutely killed me inside to seem them go, but at the same time, I was ready to make a name for myself, to start my own life. And I have, and I love it... except for certain details.

My eyes aren't that big of an issue: although there are days I'd like to smack myself upside the head and straighten them out, like a fuzzy projector, I've learned to live with my condition. It's not the money I make, because even though I'm far from being a rich pony, I can pay rent and feed myself; I don't buy a lot of fancy things for myself, because I've never felt I've needed them. It's not even the fact that my family lives far away, although I do wish they lived closer. No, what really eats away at my soul is coming back to that house every night, a house that is full of so many childhood memories for me, and finding it empty. Particularly tough days at work can leave me feeling empty, but not like the sight of my cold, darkened childhood home can. My little brother sometimes comes to visit for a month or two at a time, during which he attends Ponyville Elementary; making him breakfast, walking him to school, helping him in the Applewood Derby or with his homework... those are the times my humble abode feels the most alive.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a life in Ponyville: I love to go and hang out with friends, grab a bite to eat, or attend a local event, and I've even had ponies over on occasion. But after all is said and done, I have to come back here and be alone in a place that wasn't always lonely. There are rare nights it brings me to tears, but no cry in the deep will turn the winds of fate.

By the time I'd gotten all those thoughts out of my head, the carolers were but a distant harmonic chime. The snow had stopped, though it was bitter cold, and the stars shone brightly overhead. My wing came up to flick a small tear from my eye as I trudged on, slowly but surely approaching my fortress of solitude. What I'd do once inside, I wasn't sure, but wine and a bubble bath sounded nice.

I shivered against the chill winds as I came down my front walk, passing the mailbox reading D. Hooves and the garland strung along the bannisters. I gave a sigh, gazing longingly through the darkened windows, my breath fogging up on the doorknob. I fumbled a keyring with my hooves, trying to pick the right one to take up in my teeth. Finally having found the right one, I put it in the keyhole and turned my head awkwardly until it unlocked.

"Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Derpy." I said aloud to myself through clenched teeth.

As soon as I pushed the door aside to step in, however, every candle in the room suddenly ignited.

"HAPPY HEARTH'S WARMING EVE, DERPY!" exclaimed the crowd of ponies who'd let themselves into my house.

I dropped the keys.

For the first time in a long time, my eyes focused, perfect and sharp.

Standing there were not only my dear friends Lyra and Bon Bon, Doctor Whooves (or would he want me to use his alias, Time Turner, here?), Octavia, the cellist, and Vinyl, the DJ, but Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends as well!

And they had outdone themselves.

My once-big-and-empty house now felt tiny and livable. The fireplace had been magically lit along with the candles and was now roaring. The whole living room was decorated stem to stern with the most festive red and green Hearth's Warming trimmings you could possibly imagine, and my humble little evergreen was now joined by its much bigger brother, which clearly had gotten the Rarity treatment, and was full of presents underneath. On my kitchen table sat a piping hot, five course Hearth's Warming dinner, and on my hearth sat Hearth's Warming dolls of all my friends next to my old raggedy one from childhood.

"My halls have been decked!" was the first gem of a response to fall out of my mouth.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Derpy!" The princess said, trotting towards me with a smile. "Your friends wanted to do something special for you this season, and they decided to enlist my help!"

"Our help!" Rainbow Dash piped up.

"We know this past month has been rough on you, Dee," Lyra said, tossing the cotton ball bauble of her red cap out of her face. "so we wanted to surprise you and show you how much we care."

"Yeah," said Bon Bon, holding a poinsettia with my name on it "you're not just the pony who delivers our mail. You're our best friend, too!"

"And as our friend, you bring so much joy to our lives. We wanted to share some of it with you!" Octavia continued.

Vinyl, not one to talk unless absolutely necessary, nodded in agreement.

"And to think we wouldn't have known if I hadn't overhead Lyra and Bon Bon talking about it at the spa!" Rarity said, tossing her mane as she stepped forward to put a hoof on my shoulder. "It was my... well, mine and Pinkie's pleasure organizing this whole shebang. And if you stop into my boutique, I'll be sure to have you measured for the prettiest custom dress money can buy for no cost whatsoever! Consider it my Hearth's Warming gift to an old schoolmate."

Looking over all their smiling faces and all the effort they'd put in, my mind wasn't sure how to process it. Looking back on it even now, I can't quite remember what I thought. All I know was a great big smile started to form, and then came the waterworks. I hugged each and every pony there and thanked them profusely. We hung my plaque on the wall, ate dinner, then celebrated with games and laughter, song and dance. I even snuck a kiss from the Doctor underneath the mistletoe.

And of course, everypony had gotten presents for me. It really was flattering to a pony who doesn't even treat herself that often. Among the many gifts I was given was a train ticket to go and visit my family the next day, who, I'd been told, had already begun preparations for my arrival, as well as a diary, which I now write this in.

By the end of the night, I was all cried out, overjoyed, stuffed full of food, and ready for bed. I personally saw to everypony as they departed with hugs aplenty (some longer than others) and left the tidying up to do some other time. When I finally curled up under the covers with my old stuffed bear, I was able to sleep warm and soundly: my little old lonely house felt a lot less lonely now.

Cordially yours, Dear Diary
Derpy Hooves

Author's Note

Man, it's been a long time since I've written a story in first person... er… first pony?:rainbowhuh:
Eh, they're still a people.

Come to think of it, Derpy kind of reminds me of Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. (If you've never seen that movie, look it up, it's adorable and tugs at the heartstrings.:fluttercry:) Very likely teased and outcast at some point, only to eventually find love and acceptance in a place where she belongs. Nestor performs a great deed to find his place in the world... maybe Derpy will get some heroics in Season 9? Lol. But still, YOU WILL DO GREAT THINGS ONE DAY, DERP PONE! :derpyderp1:My love goes out to her. :heart:

I'll be taking a break for a while (longer than you usually take, huh huh, self-burn :pinkiecrazy:) but I'll be back with more stuff for the new year... who knows, maybe sooner. Definitely making a resolution to write more, though.

Happy Hearth's Warming, everypony! And a very Happy New Year!
-TMB