uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

by Songbird Serenade Thanos

Rating: mature
Tags: Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Narcotics, Sad, Gore, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Other, Non-consensual, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Suicide / Self Harm, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Random
Length: 1020

So, yeah. The DabVerse is still going. Pinkie does some funny stuff everyone dies. Jon Arbuckle becomes something else.

Da tomato (see pronunciation) is tha edible, often red, berry of tha nightshade Solanum lycopersicum, commonly known as a tomato plant. Da species originated up in westside Downtown America.

Obviously Pinkie Pie doesn't want to eat such a thing but she does (oh no!).

I realised that to get popular, you need to do porn. Consider this a kind of blockbuster amid my more edgy arthouse features. It is very cool and edgy. You will be shocked and amazed

ABSTRACT BOYS IN THA HOUSE

Published 2018-12-30 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-30 23:10:01 UTC

1

Alright, so Pinkie ate a tomato and this made her feel sad. Suddenly, Jon Arbuckle was all like "Hey, would you like sex to cheer you up?".

But Pinkie was all like "I thought you loved Twilight?".

"Ah, but I also like cheering up friends." said Jon.

"Fair enough." said Pinkie.

They then had intercourse. Jon stuck his thingy into Pinkie's hoo-ha and wiggled it ferociously in a vertical fashion. He did it with EXTREME FORCE which made Pinkie sick.

"Oh, no." said Pinkie "I am about to be sick. Consider slowing down."

"No." said Jon, as he heroically ignored Pinkie Pie.

"I'd like you to stop." said Pinkie Pie.

"No." said Jon Arbuckle.

"This is rape." said Pinkie.

"I don't care." said Jon.

Our brave anti-hero then looked up to see Garfield.

"I want a taste of that lasagne!" said Garfield.

"Get the fuck back!" said Jon, before roasting Garfield alive with his built-in flamethrower.

Jon then came inside Pinkie Pie. He withdrew and zipped up his fly (after having placed his dingy-dong back in his pants of course). He then used his built-in flamethrower to light his cigar. Pinkie was angry but she was too tired out from the rigorous intercourse to do anything.

Jon was about to leave when he got an idea. He really liked morbidly obese ponies so he used his robotic mortar and pestle to grind up Garfield's corpse and then activated his funnel function to funnel Garfield's remains into Pinkie Pie. She only gained 15 pounds from this which frustrated Jon so he ran over to Fluttershy's house, kidnapped her and drained her of all of her fat so he could pump it into Pinkie Pie's body. She had now gained an overall total of 50 pounds. Good. But there was more to be done. He went to Sweet Apple Acres, picked all the apples from every tree which was easily accomplished thanks to his increased strength. After virtuously stealing all the apples in the farm, he righteously force fed Pinkie all of the apples. She now weighed 350 pounds and her heart was under extreme strain due to gaining that amount of weight in such a short time. She could barely breathe. Jon then shlicked his love-rod to this heart-pounding action. Jon then used his robo-whip to whip Fluttershy to death. It may have been a little extreme, but he did what he had to do.

Suddenly, a spaceship came down from the Heavens carrying Twilight.

"Oh!" she said "I am surprised to see you here!".

This could be for a variety of reasons depending on where you place the Christmas Spectacular in the timeline of the DabVerse. She, Jon and Pinkie Pie engaged in a threesome. It was very erotic.

Hold up, let's just have a pointlessly graphic description of Jon's whipping of Fluttershy in here. Jon cracked his whip against Fluttershy's flesh so hard that he removed an entire section of her skin and exposed the meaty underneath part. Blood gushed from the wound with such force that it propelled Fluttershy into a wall. The impact with the wall was so fierce that her head exploded. Her lungs flew out of her neck hole and landed on the ceiling before flopping down onto the floor with extreme prejudice. Her body landed on the floor limply and all the blood oozed out like capri-sun out of a burst packet.

Jon then snorted cocaine off of Pinkie Pie's buttocks. There was plenty of room. Pinkie was now over having eaten a tomato. Twilight forgave Jon for cheating on him. Everyone had more sex. Jon realised that it was probably going to be all downhill from here so he killed himself. Everyone was sad so they played baseball. Pinkie Pie lost because she was fat. She then died. Jon and Twilight then took her rocket ship to the moon so they could have zero-gravity sex on the way. They did so.

EVERYONE HAD SEX EVEN THOSE WHO WERE DEAD PREVIOUSLY.

On the moon, Twilight and Jon met Marc Maron.

"I enjoy your comedic stylings." said Jon.

Marc then did the "Take the L" Fortnite emote to convey that by admitting this, Jon had taken an L. An L so large, not even Big Sean could bounce back from it. Jon transformed into a butterfly and flew away. Twilight and Marc Maron headed back to Ponyville after having bought some drugs from the inmates on the moon.

Twilight and Marc then snorted a fat line of Cocaine.

Four days later, Marc died. Twilight pissed on his corpse. God (who was also Twilight) realised that this was a porn story and that there was nobody alive for Twilight to have sex with. God resurrected everyone. Twilight then had lesbian intercourse with Rainbow Dash to celebrate and Pinkie Pie was thin again. Suddenly, Griffons with the power to kill everyone for super realsies came but then Twilight came so hard that they died. Marc then had sex with Twilight. Then Akatsuki from Aesthetica of a Rogue Hero came up and yeeted on Twilight. Then Nightmare Moon came back but Garfield arrived on the scene.

“I swore to protect this village!” he cried.

He then masturbated Nightmare Moon. It was pleasurable for her. Garfield stuck his fingers so up her thingy that they ended up coming out of her mouth and choking her.

“She died as she lived. A cunt.” said Garfield.

Then it turned out that Nightmare Moon was carrying an apology letter. Garfield then burnt the apology letter because history is written by the victors. Everybody had a super cool party.

Nick Fury then got run over by the bus that appeared in the beginning of Cabin Fever 2 so he couldn’t attend Applejack’s family gathering. Then Jotaro had intercourse with Rarity. Huh. We don’t focus on Rarity much. Oh wait, she’s dead, right? Never mind. Twilight then ate a custard cream. Then she ate several. Then she got morbidly obese. This made all the stallions so sexually aroused that morbid obesity was the new beautiful. This resulted in a lot of threesomes.