Bad Blood

Anonymous Incognito Civilian 2100 hours

For the first time in a long time since coming to Equestria, you were honestly enjoying yourself. This mare seemed to actually like one of your personal mixes you shared with Jaeger Bomb. Back on Earth you’d been a bartender. It had been a lot of work, particularly since most places wanted pretty blonde girls. Here, you have a hard time getting hired too.

Most ponies seemed put on edge around you, probably because they saw you as a predator. Got real sweaty, knees weak, started breathing funny. Either that, or they were strangely pushy and aggressive. Maybe it was that herd leader mentality or something and they felt threatened by you? Who knows with these mares...

You shake your head and take a swig of your drink. No reason to go on thinking about your social ineptitudes right now. You may have actually made a friend tonight finally.

The mare who hopped up next to you seemed to have the intimidation issue at first, so you tried to be as friendly as possible. Poor thing seemed to still be a bit intimidated so you bought her a drink to maybe smooth things over.

And then you realized you had accidently gotten the little thing ass-blasted drunk.

It seems obvious in retrospect, but you realize that your personal recipes have a ton of alcohol for the typical pony body weight. You have to give her credit though, she drained it like a total boss a few minutes ago.

You casually sipped your drink while you looked down at the bat pony, who was now in your lap, nuzzling against you. She gave a little drunken giggle then yawned as her eyes drifted shut. This was really goddamn cute.

Some of the mares glared at you here and there, and you realize you must look like those creepy guys who come to bars to bring home wasted girls. Probably should make sure she gets home okay at this point. Oh well… it was nice having company while it lasted.

Umbral Dream 2100 hours Status report: Day-colt wasted

Your eyes felt heavy and your cheek rested against something soft and warm. The room seemed to float around you as a miniscule burp wormed its way out your throat. A hand caught your side, stopping you from falling over, and you lolled your head up to see Anon giving a worried look. Anon? What was he doing here?

”Hey, Umbra, ...ou ...kay?” His voice came out muffled and distant.

Silly Anon, you were trying to get some sleep. Now wasn’t the time for talkies.

“Ye-hick-ep. I’ll be okay...” you said, and pushed your face back into the cozy soft thing.

Captain Night Sky Nightguard Sanguine Company 2200 hours Status report: Moderate buzz, arousal.

"Sky," Moon Dusk said, giving you a look. "What do we do? Umbra's not going to be able to show her face in this bar at this rate. Do we stop it or...?"

"Hell if I know," you whispered harshly back at her. You were tapping a rear hoof and thinking as quickly as your inebriated brain could. Sweet mother of the night, Umbra was cuddling him right in the middle of the bar. I mean… it was foalish as all hell, and Anon orchestrated this to humiliate her like the rest of the mares that approached him, but…

You bite your lip and fight to hold down a frustrated groan. She was still getting to cuddle! Maybe you could just… throw away a bit of that useless marely pride and put your chin on his thigh. He might pick you up and let you nuzzle that comfy chest of his too...

You shook your head. Ugh, don’t let the thirst get to you. Colts don’t like cute. Colts like tough and cool.

Anyhow, right now you needed to help your friend. You’re surprised she hasn’t lit on fire from the intensity of the glares around the room. It was only a matter of time before some day walking, sunhat mare went over to defend Anons honor or some crap. Umbra would just have to try to get him hot and bothered while she walked him back to his place… somehow.

She probably still had no chance with him, but getting the two of them out of here was the best thing you could do at the moment. You downed the last cider and plocked the tankard upside down on the table.

There was only one thing you could do, and it was going to take all of your stealth and cunning to do it.

Anonymous 2200 hours

"Anooown..." Umbra mumbled, snugging into your lap. "Hehee, I feel funny."

"Shh," you said to her, running a hand along her back. "You're drunk, pony."

Suddenly you felt something else touch your leg. You looked down so see another bat mare hoof, reaching around your waist and slip a condom into Umbras hooves. You furrowed your brow. Did this mare get bullied… and right in front of you? You stand up, cradling Umbra and open your mouth to give the sternest of talking tos.

“Hey, that’s not funny—”

In a flash of black wings and small screeches, a trio of mares swoop out the door, leaving it swinging on its hinges.

“—you guys…”

The rest of the mares snapped their gazes away when you stood, and now seemed to be either studying the woodwork of the table, their drinks, or were excessively clearing their throats and looking off into corners of the room. A tan colored stallion humphed and turned his back toward you.

You let out a sigh, and hefted the mare up a bit, nestling her into your shoulder. It was time to leave. You know when you’ve made ponies uncomfortable. Maybe you shouldn’t have stood up suddenly like that and spooked them. Most of the mares had that strange look in their eyes and those twitchy, alert tails you always see when you get close.

You tried your best to ignore the pit forming in your stomach as you headed out into the cold night air. It was hard not to be disappointed with another dry bar run. I mean sure, getting a buzz was always nice, but ever since you came to Equestria you’ve found it hard to just get along with ponies. You were never a super popular guy if you think back, but at least being a bartender made you feel like a part of the nightlife. Your patrons were like friends, who never cared for your past or your flaws, and just took you as you were… It was nice.

You have to give credit to mares for at least being curious and coming up to you sometimes though. Colts weren’t on edge as much but… Honestly you couldn’t really figure them out.

Maybe Canterlot had a lot of gay stallions or something, because man, all they talked about were fashions and local gossip. Or just gave you dirty looks and elevator eyes. Not the crowd you’d want to spend your time with, even if they’d have you.

The bundle in your arms stirred and gave a faint shiver.

“I’m cold,” she murmured, half asleep.

You pulled the side of your jacket over her and zip it up, only two bat ears and a small fluff of purple hair sticking out of the neckhole. She moaned and pressed into your chest, apparently content for the time being.

Guilt digs into your heart like a dagger. You were going to have to explain to her that you’d gotten her drunk and had to take her to your own home like some sort of lowlife. It’s not like you wouldn’t have payed for a cab for her, or spent the time to make sure she got home, but her friends apparently headed out and you had no way of knowing where she lived.

Hopefully she wouldn’t be too mad or disgusted… or afraid. Would she think you took her home to eat her? Flashing your canines sometimes made mares’ knees wobble. You really hope Umbra at least remembers you tomorrow. She was going to have a nasty hangover, and the last thing she deserved was to feel scared.

You pass the last street sign and head into small apartment building. The lobby was mostly empty, and you gave a friendly wave to the mare at the counter. She smiled wide and waved back, then gave your little jacket bundle a curious glance.

”O-Oh… Mr. Anonymous… you have a guest. A stallion?” she said, and looking up at you with a quirked eyebrow.

“Uh, no. A mare. She’ll be staying for the night.”

Her smile widened and she leaned forward. “So you do like mares...” she murmured.

“Why would I not like you guys?”

She flinched. “Uh, n-no I just. I had been giving all kinds of… oh, nevermind. Go ahead and have a good night, Anon.”

You shrug and head up the stairs. The receptionist mare kept leaning on her forehooves, watching you and swaying her rear as she hummed to herself. At least she wasn’t suspicious about you taking up a pony.

Your door made a soft click as you unlocked it and stepped in. The apartment was a bit of a mess, clothes strewn about and a few pizza and takeout boxes still hanging around. As a bachelor pad, you’ve seen worse.

You headed into your room and lay Umbra down on your bed, being careful not to wake her. She whined and reached her hooves out for you as you drew away.

”Nnooo,” she said, still in a groggy stupor.

“Shh, it’s okay Umbra, I’m going to be right outside on the couch.”

Bringing up the sheets, you tucked the little batmare into your bed and her squirming eventually settled down. You couldn’t help but smile as her ears twitched and she drifted off almost immediately.

“Gotta say, you’re a cute little mare, Umbra.”

After getting her a glass of water and turning down the lights, you settled down into your roughed up, slightly lumpy couch, hoping you’d get some decent enough rest. You might need it.

Tomorrow would be interesting, one way or another.