Author's Note

I've been sort of struggling with Chapter 3 of You Make My Heart Flutter, so I figured I'd do something different in the meantime. This is the first of two humorous one-shot stories I'm doing. The second involves Derpy and will be coming soon! Anyway, enjoy this one about a giant rolling object in Ponyville.

Wrath of the Giant Apple

Applejack led her friends up to the top of the highest hill at Sweet Apple Acres. “It took the whole harvestin’ season to grow it, but here it is!” she said as she pulled down a giant cloth. Underneath it was a gigantic apple more than twice as tall as Applejack herself.

The remaining five mares gasped in amazement. “That’s even bigger than the last one!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Yup! This here’s our entry for the Appleoosa State Fair’s produce competition! Braeburn’s won it the past three years in a row, ‘n’ Ah promised him Ah wasn’t gonna let him win it again!”

“He’ll have his work cut out for him if he wants to top this one!” said Rainbow Dash. “It’s huge!”

“And so shiny too!” Rarity remarked, admiring her reflection on the shiny red apple’s surface.

“Getting it down this hill could be tricky, though.” said Twilight, looking at the steep descent down to the rest of the farm. “You’ll need a pretty big cart.”

Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, Big Mac ‘n’ Ah are still figurin’ that out. Anyway, it was real nice havin’ y’all over here this afternoon. It might rain soon, so y’all best go home.”

“It was so kind of you to invite us over for lunch!” said Fluttershy.

“Your apple pies are the best!” added Pinkie Pie.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Applejack.” said Twilight. She and her friends began to head home. Applejack admired the giant apple for a little while longer before going back to the barn.

Sure enough, it did rain later that evening. The showers continued into the night, and Applejack found it hard to sleep. “Aw, why can’t this confounded rain just stop!” she muttered. “Ah need to be up early tomorrow for the start of applebuck season!”

Eventually the rain did stop, and Applejack fell asleep. But the rain had weakened the soil beneath the giant apple, and Applejack would be in for a very unpleasant surprise when she woke up the next morning…

Applejack was always the first to wake up on the first day of applebuck season, rising right at the crack of dawn. But this morning she was awakened not by the sunlight shining in through her window, but by a low rumbling noise. It seemed to be coming from right outside her window. “What in the hay is that?” Applejack growled to herself. She got out of bed and looked out the window. “Holy horseapples!!!”

A gigantic apple rolled straight past the barn, missing it by inches. It continued on toward the front of Sweet Apple Acres at an incredible speed.

Applejack punched herself in the side to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She was not. She ran out of her bedroom and woke up Big Mac, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith.

“Emergency! Emergency!” she shouted. “The giant apple’s on the loose!”

“What are you goin’ on about?!” Granny Smith snapped. “Mah ears ain’t what they used to be, but Ah’d know if some giant apple was rollin’ through the orchard.”

“Look, over there!” Apple Bloom pointed out the window. The giant apple could be seen rolling away, but was gradually disappearing from view. Several of the smaller apple trees had been knocked down and flattened.

“We’ve gotta stop it before it does any more damage!” said Applejack. “Apple Bloom, Granny, you stay here. Big Mac ‘n’ Ah’ll try to chase it down!”

“Eeyup!” said Big Mac, running to get the biggest rope he could find. Applejack grabbed one too, and the two of them ran out of the barn in pursuit of the runaway apple.

Rarity pushed a line of brand-new dresses out the door of Carousel Boutique. “You all are looking absolutely divine!” she said. “Now I must ship you off to Manehattan!”

Rarity suddenly heard a low rumbling noise in the distance. “Good heavens, what in Equestria is –” Before she could finish, she screamed and tried to pull the dresses out of the way. But it was too late. A massive apple rolled in and smashed through all of the dresses, flattening them completely.

Rarity was at a loss for words. She burst into tears and ran inside to get her fainting couch. “Eight beautiful dresses, ruined!” she cried as she dug into a vat of ice cream.

Trixie was pulling her wagon through the town center when the giant apple came barreling straight towards her. “Nuts!!!” she cried, and darted out of the way as fast she could. But the harness on her wagon detached, and Trixie lost it. The apple smashed over the wagon, obliterating it and everything that Trixie had stored inside it.

“APPLEJACK!!!” Trixie growled.

The apple continued on its path of destruction, heading straight for Lyra. “What the fu–” Lyra was cut off by the sound of splintering wood as the apple crashed through the line of picnic tables next to her.

Applejack and Big Mac arrived on the scene. Trixie glared at them. “That giant apple of yours destroyed my great and powerful wagon!” she snapped.

“Aw, shucks. Sorry, Trixie!” said Applejack. “But which way did it go?”

Lyra pointed with her hoof. “It went that way. If you run fast enough, I’m sure you could catch it.”

“Then there’s no time to lose! Come on, Big Mac!” The two Apple siblings raced away in hot pursuit once more.

Sky Scraper had spent the night at Fluttershy’s cottage, and he and his marefriend were both laying in bed half-asleep.

“Mmm, Flutters…” Sky snuggled his head into Fluttershy’s mane and began to fall asleep again. However, a low rumbling noise jolted him back awake. He groaned. “Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that double-decker hayburger for lunch yesterday…”

Just then Fluttershy bolted upright. “Oh goodness! That thing’s headed straight for us!”

“What the… Holy horseapples!!!” Sky exclaimed. Rolling straight toward the cottage was a huge apple. It appeared to be on a collision course with the window, but then it rolled into the stream in front of the cottage and stopped.

Sky breathed a sigh of relief. “Phew, that was close!”

Fluttershy was worried about something else, though. “I’d better check on the birds! I hope that apple didn’t knock down any of their houses.”

“Don’t worry, Flutters.” Sky soothed. “All of the birds look fine. Wait, is that the giant apple from Sweet Apple Acres?”

“You’re right, it is!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “We need to find Applejack!”

“Definitely.” Sky agreed.

But there was no need to do that. When Sky and Fluttershy opened the door, they were greeted by Applejack and Big Mac. “Howdy, you two.” said Applejack. “We’re mighty sorry this apple of ours almost wrecked your cottage. You two all right?”

Both Sky and Fluttershy nodded.

“It doesn’t look like the apple caused any damage.” said Big Mac. “But we’d better get it out of here before it does.”

Before long, Applejack and Big Mac had secured the apple with the big ropes they’d been carrying. Applejack gave the command. “Ready? Pull!”

Both Earth ponies pulled on the ropes as hard as they could. It wasn’t long before the apple began to be lifted up out of the water. “Almost… got it…” Applejack grunted.

The apple was just about back on solid ground when the ropes began to slip. “Aw, no, we’re losing it!” Applejack cried through clenched teeth.

Eventually both of the ropes snapped with a bang. “Nope!!!” Big Mac exclaimed.

The apple rolled back towards Ponyville and disappeared from view. “Aw, horseapples!” Applejack groaned.

“It’s coming back!” Lyra shouted. Like magic, everypony in the town center scattered.

As the giant apple barreled through Ponyville for the second time that morning, it crushed pretty much everything in its path. Octavia narrowly avoided getting smashed like a pancake, and Vinyl only had to lift her shades for a split second before diving for safety. The apple then smashed through Bulk Biceps’ nut cart and the flower ponies’ stand.

“Oh no, not the cart!!!” Bulk exclaimed.

“This is awful!” cried Daisy.

“A terrible, terrible disaster!” put in Lily.

“The horror, the horror!” Roseluck whimpered. All three flower ponies fainted on the spot.

Applejack and Big Mac ran through the town in hot pursuit of the runaway apple, followed by Sky Scraper and Fluttershy. “Ah see it up ahead!” said Applejack. “It’s headin’ toward Twilight’s castle!”

“Then we have to get there before it does!” said Fluttershy. She and Sky Scraper began flapping their wings at an extremely rapid rate. When she put her mind to it, Fluttershy could actually fly pretty fast. Applejack and Big Mac’s hooves pounded along the ground with a massive noise.

Starlight opened the door of Twilight’s castle and walked down the front steps. She heard a low rumbling noise, and it wasn’t long before she saw what was making it. “What in the name of Celestia?!” she shrieked. In a moment of panic, she fired one blast from her horn, and that was all it took. The gigantic apple was blown to bits and the guts of it went everywhere, landing all over Starlight and the front of the castle.

Applejack, Big Mac, Sky Scraper and Fluttershy arrived at the scene. “What in Equestria happened to the apple?!?” Applejack exclaimed.

Starlight wiped a pile of squashed apple off her face and gave a nervous laugh. “I, um… sort of blew it up in a moment of panic.”

“Why the hay would you do that?” Applejack demanded. “That was mah blue ribbon apple!” She and Big Mac glared at Starlight.

“What was I supposed to do, let it destroy the castle?”

Applejack was silent for a moment, trying to think of something to say in response. “You know, she does have a point.” said Sky.

Applejack sighed. “Fine, Ah guess you do.”

Starlight smiled nervously. “So… anypony up for applesauce?”