Captain Clopper Doesn't Like Molesita.

by mojowuq9

Rating: mature
Tags: Horror, Profanity, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1051

The OC who is clearly the best ever accidentally turns Celestia into Molestia after...'putting cream in her cup'. He decides to get rid of her and bring Celestia back.

The OC who is clearly the best ever accidentally turns Celestia into Molestia after...'putting cream in her cup'. He decides to get rid of her and bring Celestia back.

Why?

She's stealing his customers, and therefore, his moulah.

NOBODY Steals moulah from a capitalist without Captain Capitalist kicking their ass.

Horror tag because Captain Clopper's in here.

Published 2018-12-26 08:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-26 08:10:02 UTC

Molly, you communist, PREPARE TO DIE!!!!

Author's Note

I going into some deep shit by not turning off the ratings! Wish me luck!

Clopper could use it too.....

Molly, you communist, PREPARE TO DIE!!!!

Captain Clopper got up, and walked out the door. "Enough with this bullshit." He said angrily. He walked by some mare named Becky. She opened her mouth. "I don't want any of your bullshit about you keeping the foals we don't have." She shut her mouth and rolled her eyes. "I swear to Faust, that whore is just like her meme." Suddenly, a ghostly form of a white alicorn with a bangy mane coalesced in front of him. It solidified.

"You know that you're a whore, right?" Faust questioned, a figurative eyebrow raised.

"That doesn't mean it's not an insult." Clopper retorted.

"Fair enough. Also, what's wrong? Don't bullshit me or else you won't cum for a week." Clopper chuckled.

"We both know my magic is too powerful for that. Also, Molestia has been stealing my customers, and therefore I can't make money. I'm going to give this story the Non-con tag!" Faust nodded, then handed him a slip of paper, words written on it. "The fuck's this? Another 'summon a golem of me to fuck' note? Not that I'm complaining if it is." Faust shook her head.

"No, it's to summon an ass-no, not one of those....to summon someone quite...passionate about his beliefs in Capitalism." Clopper's face exploded with excitement, his tail swishing.

"Do I get to summon Liberty Prime!?" Faust shrugged.

"It'll just summon the best being for the situation that is also extremely capitalist." She then disappeared. Clopper shruged, then walked outside. While he wasn't paying attention, he bumped into a noble.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HOOVES OFF OF ME, YOU PEASANT!!!" Blueblood screeched like a Fortnite gamer, jumping away. Clopper's ears laid down on his head in an attempt to quieten the noise.

"Jesus! Tone it down, Captain Caps Lock!" Everybody nearby gasped, and Blueblodd's face turned red.

"APOLOGIZE BEFORE I TELL AUNTY!!!" Blueblood smirked. It fades as Clopper took a book out of nowhere and started flipping through it, squinting at the pages.

"Ah Here it is!" Clopper said with a Trottish accent. He looked at Blueblood and showed the page to him. "It says, and I quote; 'I don't give a shit.'." Everybody within a hundred meter radius erupted:

Blueblood galloped away crying. Clopper hoof bumped everybody, then teleported to the castle. Just before he appeared, the spell was redirected, and he landed on Molestia's cum-soaked bed. "Now...." He deadpanned. "This is disgusting. I clean my stuff, Molestia." The mare giggled, before flopping onto the bed, pulling Clopper close to her warm body. Her horn glowed yellow, and his dick grew to 30 inches. He merely raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm not fucking you." Molestia giggled again.

"I'm pregnant~" Clopper froze. "It's yours~" Clopper wasn't scared of being a father, it was a promise Solaris made him that scared him...

16 years ago

"Captain Redblood Clopper." Clopper didn't even turn. His back was soaked in blood, and his face was simply staring out a barred window, staring into the bright blue sky he'd never live long enough to see. A hoof laid upon his shoulder. He didn't greet Solaris. He knew he was there, and he knew the stallion couldn't do anything. He knew the stallion couldn't save him from this hell. Never the less, he listened, his face retaining that same blank expression. "My daughter will be having a foal within your lifetime. I only ask you to help protect my dear Celestia." When Clopper didn't react, Solaris turned, and began to walk to the other side of the room.

"Why?" Clopper said, his dead voice producing a word for the first time in probably months. Solaris was shocked by this, but answered.

"Only a Fearless One can kill another." Clopper let his head hang, his shoulders slumping.

"I'm a weak, pathetic coward. A pony that doesn't deserve to be called a pony, much less a Fearless One." Solaris has never heard Clopper speak so many words. And through it, his voice never wavered, his tone deader then his tortured soul.

"You may say you are......but I assure you, you mean a lot to me, Clopper." Clopper simply continued staring into the blue sky. He didn't do anything as the bedroom door's many locks clicked, and the door opened.

"Time for your daily lashings, tranny slut!!" Clopper merely stood up and hunched forward. Why did his father call him that? Well, let's just say....

Captain Clopper was a mare.....

Molestia saw the frown on his face. It highly unnerved her. He never frowned in actual sadness, and he was. "Honey, are you okay?" Clopper simply detached her legs from him and stood up. He pulled a note off his back.

"Faust." He said, reading from the note. "Help me exterminate this Communist." Suddenly, money exploded everywhere to reveal a human in shining golden armor. Before she could even react, it fired a beam of pure Capitalism at her, destroying all Communism and banishing it into the Warp. (This action caused the Red Chaos Marines to form.) He disappeared as fast as he appeared, leaving only a shaking Celestia behind. Clopper suddenly, clutched onto the mare, and whispered 'I'll help you take care of our child.', then pulled away. He teleported away, leaving Celestia to sit there, wondering what suddenly happened to his mood. He's always positive, no matter what.....come to think of it, it's rather unsettling. What happened to him?

Clopper walked into his home, wiping his hooves on the rug. He then walked through the almost empty house, opening up a few of the almost empty cupboards. "*Sigh* Guess I'm having instant noodles again...." He shut the cupboards, and went into his room. A worn mattress, but quite clean, dominated the room, along with some cleaning supplies in a corner. The corner closest to his bed held what he needed. He walked to is bed, and flopped down upon. He wrapped bandages tightly around his arm, and held it with his teeth. Using his magic, he retrieved a hypo, and removed the cap. He flicked the object a few times. "Marephine, what would I do without you?" He whispered solemnly.