The snow whipped and lashed outside the window. She stood there, holding a mug of hot tea, watching. Her mind wandered, contemplated. Ponyville's streets were barren. The subtle melancholy of the harsh winter hung in the air.
But Ruby knew she couldn't let it show.
Jade would be waking up any minute now. The five year old pup was finally hitting those years where these childhood memories would form for a lifetime. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The scent of chamomile filled the room. The light was dim, the fireplace the sole source of not only light, but warmth.
She had everything she wanted all ready for him to wake up. Two packets of instant hot-chocolate she swiped from work. Some stale mini-marshmallows. And one wrapped present. Jade's present. It wasn't much, but it was enough. It was what she could give.
The snow drifted through the air and it sent her mind wandering, back to another time. A time when the blizzard tore at her fur. Blinded her eyes. Tore at her mind. A rope in her hands. The smell of musk in the air.
She brought her tea to her nose, tearing the memory from her senses. But her mind wandered.
Ruby wasn't stupid. She kept tabs on Anonymous. He was still alone. He had a job. In his spare time, he cleaned up the parks and did repairs for Jade's school. He left little gifts outside of Jade's play places for him and Ivy. Ivy, Fluttershy's daughter was a sweet little thing. While Ruby and Fluttershy weren't on the greatest terms, they were able to set things aside for the children.
In fact, that was probably where he was. Custody was a more balanced thing for Fluttershy and Anonymous, probably due to their previous romantic involvement. Things were different for Ruby.
But it had been five years. Perhaps... perhaps it was her that was in the wrong here?
"No," she muttered. "He's my child. My decisions."
Ruby sighed. She always hated this time of year. This wasn't where she wanted to be. This wasn't how she wanted her story to go. But it was where life had put her. The best thing she could do at this point was to live with the decisions that were already made, and find some closure.
At that moment, there was a gentle knock on the door.
Ruby turned apprehensively to the unexpected noise. She set down her tea and moved forward. She put the slide lock on the door, nervously realizing she hadn't locked the door overnight. She opened the door, the only thing guarding her from the outside was a flimsy golden chain. The wintery air burst into the room. Snow flittered into the room and melted into vapor. Ruby peered through the elements to her front door.
There, bundled in an oversized parka, was Anonymous.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice turning into a growl.
"I wanted to talk," he said firmly. "Can I come in?"
She gritted her teeth. This wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't help but feel miffed at this whole situation. Of course, the one day she felt like she could relax and not have to deal with her problems, they came knocking. Maybe this is why everypony thought she had problems.
Or maybe it was just her who thought she had problems.
Maybe part of the problem was just not addressing it directly? It was Hearth's Warming. He deserved to say his piece. It had been five years.
Ruby closed the door without another word, undid the slide lock, and opened the door wide.
"I don't have heating, get in," she said.
Anonymous stepped inside her small home, and looked around in faint recognition. He gulped. Ruby moved back to her tea, picked it up, and looked out the window once more. She was screaming at herself in her mind. What was she doing?
"Jade is still asleep," Ruby said. "How can I help you?"
Anonymous took off his gloves and sighed.
"He figured out I'm his father," he said. Then, he paused, waiting for a reaction he didn't receive. "He approached me about a week ago after school and asked me. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I told him he should ask you."
"Oh, I know," Ruby said.
Another silence hung in the air. The fireplace crackled and the wind rushed against the house.
"I wanted to talk to you sooner. I just wasn't really sure how to approach it."
"I understand."
Silence.
Anon walked across the room to a window beside Ruby which had a large piece of plastic wrap taped over the broken glass. He bit his lip, then looked to her.
"I could fix this."
"You can't fix this," Ruby snapped.
She turned to him, and then noticed the window.
"Oh," she mumbled. "Right."
She turned away from Anon then sat down on the couch.
"I really think we should talk."
"About what?" Ruby asked. "Everything's messed up. Everything is so messed up."
"But it doesn't have to be."
"I can't trust you," Ruby said.
"Why?"
"I just can't," she said.
Anon took a deep breath and moved to the fireplace.
"I don't know how many times I need to tell you that I'm sorry for the things I did. That I'm a changed man. That I'm trying to make things better. But if it means I have the chance to be a part of Jade's life, I'll keep doing it. You're not getting rid of me."
"I know," Ruby said, setting her tea down.
"So can we talk about this? It's been five years, and we haven't talked about it."
The fireplace crackled, Anon turned to look at the diamond dog as she stared at the fraying rug covering the rough hardwood floor.
"Yeah," she said. "I guess it's time."
Anon found a chair across from her and eased into it.
"What can I do to make this better?" he asked.
"I don't know if you can, Anon," she said. "And, I suppose this time I want to be fully clear. I don't think you can, because what's wrong isn't your fault."
Anon leaned back in his seat.
"Okay, can we talk about that?"
Ruby rubbed her paws over each other.
"I've never really talked about this before," she mumbled. "When I was young, I didn't really have the best pup-hood. My mother eventually took me from my father. The memories I have of him, I'd rather not talk about. He's already ruined Hearth's Warming for me, I'm not going to give him more power."
Ruby sighed and placed a paw on the bridge of her nose. Her ears folded down.
"I don't want Jade to have to deal with the same problems I had to face as a pup. And with... well. This. All of this. It's not really secure. And I don't know you. I don't really know you. Not the way I should.”
"Ruby, that's the thing," Anon said, leaning forward. "I want to be there for Jade. I don't know the best way of being a good father. I'm still learning with Ivy. I make mistakes, but I try to make up for them. But it's not like I'd ever do something like hit her."
A silence filled the room. Ruby's breath caught in her throat. Anon half stood up in his seat.
"Ruby, did-"
However, the creak of a door grabbed the attention of the adults in the room.
"Mom? Is someone here?" Jade asked, stepping out of his bedroom. The satyr was short, his lower half diamond dog, his upper half human. He had a small t-shirt over his upper half that hung down over his knees, making him seem much shorter than he was.
His eyes fixed onto Anonymous, and Ruby stood up. The spotlight was on her.
Anon rose to his feet.
"Actually, I was just going," Anon said, his voice suddenly business-like and matter of fact. "I can fix the window next week. My schedule allows it, if that works for you."
Ruby looked from Anon to Jade.
"Anon, stop," Ruby said, her voice sounding raw and defeated. "There's no point anymore. He's old enough to know."
"Know what?" Jade asked. "That Anon is my Dad?"
Anon eased back down into his seat. Ruby sat and patted a spot by her on the sofa.
"That's right, honey. It's been... really complicated. But yes. Anon is your Dad, sweetie."
He looked from Ruby, then to Anon.
Anon rose to his feet and moved across the room to his son. He knelt down to look him in the eye.
"I know all of this is kind of weird, buddy. And I'm not going to be like all of the other kid's dads. But, I want to be your best friend, if that's okay?"
Jade smiled, reached out his paws and wrapped them around Anon. He looked to his mom with a wide smile.
"This is the best Hearth's Warming present ever, Mom."
A faint smile curled on Ruby's face as she nodded at her son. Her inner feelings were complex, but a warmth filled her. An anger, a deep-seated reservation began to untangle and melt into the the warmth of the fireplace.
"Happy Hearth's Warming, Jade," she said with a smile. "And you too, Anon."
Author's Note
This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"
If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=1662371
