Race Me

by Wow_Gay

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 1629

Spike and Discord have a little race

Spike's been getting better and better at flying, and asks Discord to come with him for 'flying exercises'.

Really he just wants to laugh at Discord's lackluster flying capabilities.

Mushy relationship fluff, hints at sexual content. Spike's gotten older and they banter like an old married couple.

Published 2019-01-11 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-11 03:20:01 UTC

Started Good, Ended Alright

Spike looked back at Discord, face practically radiating a smug aura as he flew through a cloud. "Whassa matter? Haven't used your wings in a while, Dissy?"

Discord flapped his mismatched wings, once, twice, wobbling slightly as he tried to regain his balance, all while shooting the dragon a deadpan glare. "If we were levitating or using fire magic, I frankly would have styled all over you."

Spike reduced his speed a bit until he was right alongside the draconequus. He reached a clawed hand out to bop the chaos spirit on the snout, making the older creature snort. "Yeah, but we're not doing either of those, are we?"

The draconequus growled and promptly blew a small gout of blue flame at him, only to huff in agitation as the dragon spiraled out of the way, giggling. "You missed!"

"Is this payback for last weekend at Rarity's?" Discord deadpanned.

"Maaaaybe."

Spike did a loopty loop before slowing to a hover, his wings keeping him airborne.

"Oh goodie, are we finally stopping? I shant keep up much more with these...eugh, exercises." Discord snapped his fingers and turned a passing bird into a fan, waving it at his face before dropping it and letting it revert to its original state. The confused bird let out a distressed sounding tweet before shakily flying away from the duo.

"What, need to rest your old man bones or something?" Spike asked, folding his arms.

Discord's fur ruffled up and he stuck his face in Spike's own. "Come again?"

Spike placed a clawed finger on the draconequus' nose and pushed him away. "Hey, when you moan like an old mare over a few flight exercises, what else am I supposed to say?"

"Hmph, I certainly wasn't moaning like an 'old mare' when-"

Spike blushed and covered Discord's mouth with both hands, green eyes glaring daggers at the draconequus. "Ugh, shuddup!" Discord smirked behind the dragon's hands, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. Spike let out a noise of disgruntled disgust and rolled his eyes. "Freakin' pervert."

"Oh, you're adorable when you're flustered~" Discord purred.

"And you're an old hag."

The chaos spirit's eyes narrowed and his face twisted in annoyance. "Of all the indignities! I'm not a hag! Or old! I'm 'finely aged'. Like wine. Or cheese. Cheese wine." Discord concluded, pouting.

"Well you're cheesy and you whine a lot so I guess you're half right..." Spike remarked, examining his claws.

"I really do not care for you very much right now."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, sure..." He scanned the sky, then looked back towards Ponyville. The sun was beginning to set, dyeing the sky with a dappled array of oranges and pinks. His brow creased, before his eyes lit up with mischief. "Hey, Discord?"

"Hm?" The draconequus tossed away the claw file he was utilizing, which hopefully wouldn't hit anyone as it made its descent at terminal velocity. "If you ask me to do another 'advanced flying maneuver', I'm going to scream. And I can scream quite loud, so it really won't be pleasant for either of us."

"Nah nah, no maneuvers. Just a bit of a challenge." Spike smirked, knowing that the word challenge would pique his partner's interest. Just as he expected, the one of the spirit's ears twitched and he raised an eyebrow.

"Challenge, you say? And pray tell, what would that be?"

He pointed off in the distance, towards where Twilight's castle sat pristinely, glittering with the colors of the setting sun. "Race me."

Discord blinked. "Pardon?"

"I know you're old, but your hearing can't be gone that soon. Race. Me. Here to the Castle."

Discord chose to ignore the 'old' comment, and instead folded his arms. "And what do I get if I win?"

"If you win? Well...hm..." Spike mockingly tapped his chin pensively. "If you win, I can do that thing we talked about the other day..." The dragon gave him a rather sultry, suggestive look.

Discord's eyes widened and his neck fur fluffed up. Just as soon as it did so, it smoothed down, and Discord cleared his throat. "And...what if you, by some feat, win?"

Spike smirked. "If I win, well...you'll have to do anything I ask for the rest of the day."

Discord seemed to think on it momentarily. "Alright then...you're on."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that if you lose, I'm gonna make you do some humiliating stuff, right?"

"Oh believe me, I know. But what makes you think you'll win? What if I was just deceiving you? What if my flying isn't quite as rusty?"

The dragon narrowed his eyes. "You're bluffing. I saw how you were flying, dude. You can't fake that."

"Oh yes, I very well could be bluffing. But who knows? Certainly not you. As I just implied."

"....you're stalling, aren't you?" Spike deadpanned.

"...Possibly. Who knows?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "So I guess that's a yes." He turned his back on Discord and flapped his wings, once, twice. "Come on, old man. Hurry up."

Discord hissed. "You have no idea how thoroughly you're going to lose, Spikey-Wikey."

Spike promptly flicked his tail and yawned. "Sure, sure. Whatever ya say, Dis."

They both lined up together, each looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

Spike cleared his throat. "One..."

Claws flexed, lips were licked.

"Two..."

"Three!"

Discord vanished.

Spike's jaw dropped, and for a few seconds he just stared at the empty space where the draconequus had been.

That is, until said spirit reappeared several meters away, flying rapidly away from him.

"See you at the castle, slowpoke!" He called behind himself, before flying a bit faster towards the town.

The dragon narrowed his eyes and smoke began to trail from his nostrils. "You...frickin'...CHEATER!"

The dragon zipped after the draconequus, wind whipping past him as he bore down on his partner.

The chaos spirit hazarded a look behind himself, eyes swiveling to the back of his skull. Spike snorted out a puff of smoke as he glared back at him, slowly beginning to catch up.

"Oh dear. He looks rather upset." With a snap, he teleported again.

"Ugh! Asshole!" Spike snarled, picking up a bit more speed...

Only to let out a yelp as a humongous cloud shaped cotton ball appeared in front of him. With no time to react, he slammed into the fluffy white mass with a loud 'oomph!'. Discord leaned over the cotton ball, giving the dragon a small, content little smirk. "I have to admit, you look rather fetching surrounded by soft cotton, love."

Emerald eyes cracked open and the dragon glared up at him. "You're a freakin' cheater, dude."

Discord feigned a look of indignation and placed his paw over his heart. "Cheat? Why my dear boy! I never cheated." His small grin stretched into a wide sneer.
"You just never established any rules."

"Piss off, you know that cheating ain't allowed!"

Discord licked his lips and winked. "Personally, I think you'll look ravishing. If I were you, I'd lose on purpose..."

Spike's face burned with embarrassment, and he promptly blew out a puff of emerald flame at the cotton, immediately lighting it ablaze. The draconequus vanished, and Spike jetted off towards the castle once more.

The two creatures streaked across the sky, Discord constantly messing with his partner, snickering whenever he heard Spike's squeaks of rage as his chaos magic wreaked havoc on their race.

The castle loomed in the distance, slowly enlarging as Spike flew closer. He spiraled out of the way of another obstacle conjured by the mischievous spirit. "Douchebag...bastard...asshole..." Spike grunted under his breath.

"So many cute nicknames. I'm fond of 'douchebag', myself. Has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you say?" Discord quipped, lazily flying past him.

Spike glared at him, but said nothing.

"Are you mad?"

The dragon snorted and picked up speed slightly.

"You seem mad. I mean like, really really mad. Not 'aw, you're so cute when your little cheeks flush and you pout' mad, but 'you won't be speaking to me for quite some time and are considering dumping me' mad." Discord rambled nervously.

"..." Spike did a sudden nosedive, dipping below a layer of clouds.

Discord winced. "Whoopsey."

Spike touched down outside of the castle, and Discord appeared a bit afterwards, holding up a large, extravagant trophy. The engraved plaque on the bottom read 'Spikey-Wikey, #1 Boyfriend and Racer (Please don't break up with me)'.

"See! You won! Congratulations! You did it!"

Spike shot him a withering look that made the trophy in the spirit's paw collapse into a pile of dust and blow away on the wind, before walking towards the entrance.

"Uh, hm...wait! What about our wager?" Discord tried, teleporting in front of the dragon. "You won, so I have to do whatever you want for today, yes? What's you first order?"

"...you can start by leaving me alone." Spike muttered.

Discord's ears drooped. "Oh, Spike, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cross with me. You know how silly old Discord can be. I apologize for cheating, alright?"

The smaller creature sighed. "...you can make it up to me by making me something to eat and helping me organize the library."

Discord visibly cringed. "Organize?"

Spike gave him a deadpan look. "Or I could just not talk to you for a week."

"Right, yes. Organizing it is." The draconequus agreed, nodding rapidly.

With an eyeroll, the young dragon smirked. "Tell ya what, maybe next week we can just...go on a picnic or somethin'. No races."

Discord perked up. "Sounds delightful!"

Spike shook his head. He just couldn't stay mad at him for too long, could he?

Author's Note

Hnnn, fluffy garbage, yay...

Discord's whipped, y'all. It's too late for him :ajsmug: