Hearth's Warring

by XenoPony

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 2382

It's been over a thousand years since Princess Luna was put in charge of a hearth's warming celebration. Safe to say, she's not thrilled at what's happened to it.

Not since before her banishment to the moon has Princess Luna been in charge of a hearth's warming celebration. Safe to say, she's not over the moon at what's been done with it while she's been gone.

Audio adaptation

Featured: 12/28/18

Published 2018-12-27 11:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-27 11:00:01 UTC

Tradition!

"Dear sister, let me in at once!"

Princess Celestia rolled over in her bed, mane falling over her weary eyes and loose covers drooped over her ruffled wings. Her ears twitched, was that a muffled voice she heard? It was odd, distant and sounded like somepony was talking with a fishbowl on their head. Seconds later the sound that accompanied the voice, the very same sound that had shaken her from her slumber, thudded again.

The dull banging came three times, harder now, almost rhythmic. It was once again followed swiftly by a frustrated tone. "Celestia, I command you to open this window at once, I will not stand freezing my rear off out here any longer!"

Celestia groaned, rubbing her weary eyes with a forehoof as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ornately decorated ceiling of her bedchamber.

"Urg, what happened to five more minutes?" she asked herself, glancing at the clock sitting on her bedside table.

Only seconds away from waking her with an alarm regardless, the device informed her that it was precisely eight in the morning. On the day of hearth’s warming if her memory of last night's celebrations served her right.

The loud banging on the window sounded again, this time followed by a loud groan. "Come on, Tia, I swear if you're still sleeping at this hour I'm going to have to lower the sun myself!"

Princess Celestia sat up, still rubbing one tired eye as she glanced to her balcony window. Her curtains slightly parted she could see the snow-covered world outside, pale, icy flakes still falling from the dark clouds above. Straining her narrowed eyes, she could also just about make out the shape of a pony prancing on the spot right outside.

"L–Luna?" she wondered, voice croaking from her dry throat.

The face of her younger sister was pressed against the frosty glass in an instant, blue eyes fixing her with a glare.

"Tia, good, you're awake. Now, let me in we have urgent matters to discuss!" Luna declared, still taking the time to bang on the window before Celestia shook the stiffness of sleep from her mind and magically opened the window.

Luna was inside in a flash, shaking snow from her dark coat and ruffled wings like a dog as she materialized at the foot of Celestia's bed. A moment later, and Celestia noted that her sister's horn was glowing, seconds before Luna straightened herself and in from the window levitated a large, uprooted tree. Dribbling dirt and snow the tree levitated over and propped up next to Luna like a spear.

"It's about time you're awake, do you have any idea how long I have been stuck out there?" Luna grumbled, telekinetically jabbing the tree at Celestia.

An unsure look spread across the white alicorn's face and Luna growled, frowning. "Fifteen minutes, a whole fifteen minutes of freezing my flank off!"

"Luna, have you been drinking too much coffee again, shouldn't you be in bed?" Celestia asked, glancing around to see if this was some kind of prank.

"Ha, don't make me laugh, Tia. Hearth’s warming night is the one night of the year I'm free! Do you know how many colts and fillies manage to actually get to sleep on hearth’s warming eve? Pretty much none!" Luna dismissed with a wave of a forehoof.

"Well, I suppose that makes sense, they're excited. You were like that too once, little sister," Celestia reminded her sibling with a small chuckle, yet Luna's frown did not falter. "I take it you liked your gift then?" she added with a smile.

Luna huffed. "A hoof and shoulders shampoo collection, so nice to know what you think of my mane," she pouted, forelegs crossed.

"Well, it has been an awfully long time since I've seen you wash it. There could be a whole civilization in there nowadays for all I know," Celestia retorted, twiddling a hoof in the air.

"I take the utmost care of my mane, thank you." Luna countered, pressing a hoof to her chest and ruffling her wings. "It is an almighty, celestial canvass, and I will not so readily soil the cosmic brilliance of my stars with something so simple as a shampoo bought from the shop down the street."

Celestia winced at her sister's increasing volume, lifting a wing to shield herself as her ears folded. "Actually that set was from Top Mares, I went and picked it out myself."

"Top Mares, really? They're the ones with the golden brand offer, right. I could get a free hooficure, spa date, hmmm... maybe I can... Wait!" Luna shook her head. "Oh no, you don't get to change the subject this time, Tia."

Luna stomped the trees' roots on to the carpet, scattering dirt and half melted snow as she did so. "I came here for a very specific reason."

Celestia cocked her head. "I can see that, why else would you have failed to simply use the door?" she asked, and Luna shuddered like there were insects in her coat.

"Oh sure, and expose myself to your hideous hearth’s warming decor? No thank you." She tilted her head up with a snort, forelegs crossed once again. "I can't believe you would have the hearth’s warming I'm supposed to be hosting tonight in such a state, while you fly off to Ponyville this evening!" Luna decaled.

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Luna, what in Equestria are you talking about? The castle's been decorated like this for generations now," she reason, shifting to get out of bed.

The tip of the soggy pine tree jabbing at her side told her that getting up was the last thing she was allowed to do.

"Nope, you're not going anywhere, sister, not until you learn how to properly decorate for the holidays," Lune exclaimed, and Celestia sighed, nudging the suspended tree aside with a forehoof.

"What do you even mean, Luna, what's wrong with how things are done?" she droned, voice monotone as she humored her little sister.

"Oh, I think you know, Tia. Not in a thousand years would I have guessed you'd have succumbed to their allure too, but it seems I was mistaken," Luna announced, dragging her soggy green spear back to her side. "You really think I would not have noticed the brands?"

Luna sneered that last word as if it tasted foul, her muzzle wrinkling. It hit Celestia's ears, worked its way into her brain, and just like that, all the vestiges of sleep were gone as the sparks of realization started to ignite. The results were instantaneous, and Luna readily observed her sister's calm facade fail. Celestia's ears drooped and her pale cheeks started to turn a rosy shade of pink.

"Haha, so you know exactly what error you have made!" Luna announced, jabbing her tree forward as Celestia started to stammer awkwardly.

"W–whatever do you mean, Luna... I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about." Celestia rubbed her forehooves together, not even daring to meet her sister's prying gaze.

"Don't play dumb, Tia. Do you have any idea the lengths I have gone to, to remove this shameless marketing from our traditions," Luna boasted, hoof on her chest as she slammed the tree down again.

Her horn flashed, and from nowhere materialized a jingling sack that chimed as is struck the carpet.

Celestia winced. "Luna, please tell me that's not what I think it is," she pleaded and Luna rolled her eyes.

"Of course you would have some attachment to this garbage. At this rate, I'm almost glad I missed modernization," she grumbled, jabbing back her sisters weakly reaching forehoof as she opened the sack.

"Luna, wait... Some of those are worth so much. Think of the sponsors, have to keep the business council happy, after all," Celestia chuckled and Luna's frown deepened.

"Hardly a reason to sacrifice tradition!" she declared before telekinetically rummaging through the sack's content. "Let's see here... Urg, this garnish is positively tacky."

Celestia covered her face as Luna dragged out a long strand of rainbow-colored tree garnish. "I mean, seriously, Tia, whatever happened to color coordination?"

"Well, no pony could agree on a color, so I thought why not just use every color," Celestia responded, twirling a hoof.

Luna grumbled to herself, tossing the shimmering strand aside. "If this were the worst of it I might let you off the hook," she warned.

Another awkward chuckle left Celestia's mouth. "W–what do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean. For one, you seem to have completely forgotten how to traditionally decorate a hearth’s warming tree like we used to." Luna set the tree she was carrying down next to her, twisting its roots into the carpet.

"As I will demonstrate, the magical lighting is applied first." There was a flash and a series of starlight orbs appeared to hover amidst the soggy pine branches. "Far more pleasing to the eyes than whatever it is you have come to use these days."

"Luna, we switched to electrical lights almost two centuries ago. You know, so we didn't need a unicorn next to every tree to keep the spell going," Celestia countered.

"Pufft, a job for the palace guard. We both know they're pretty much useless at anything other than standing around. No to mention those lights are just a fire waiting to happen," Luna retorted, dismissing the comment with a wave of her hoof. "So, next we apply the garnishes, only two colors."

There was another flash from Luna's horn and a set of blue and silver trails of shimmering garnish appeared and wrapped around the tree. Luna leaned back, smiling at her work as Celestia looked at the sack her sister had summoned nervously.

"Now ornaments, I have not seen a single tree with the traditional glass hangings once since I've returned," Luna grumbled, before upending the bag over the end of Celestia's bed.

"Well, they're dangerous. New health and safety regulations and so on," Celestia elaborated, and Luna huffed.

"Let's see how far the corruption goes, shall we?" the night princess asked, not even taking her narrowed eyes off of her sister.

Celestia pulled her covers up to her chest, dreading what she knew Luna would find as she went through the glimmering pile of small orbs.

"This, this is exactly what I mean!" she declared, levitating up a pair. "Sparkle Cola, Colton Cards, how much do ponies pay to soil our traditions!"

Celestia winced. "Quite a lot actually, they consider it quite the honor to have their brands featured in the castle," she confirmed, and Luna shook her head.

"You disappoint me sister, I... Ooo, Top Mares, and they do have a golden deal!" Luna trailed off, an eye-catching orb laced with golden bands in her magical grip. "Such a good offer... No! I will not let them get to me too!" she declared, shaking her head, stomping a forehoof and throwing the orb aside.

"There's been some toughs times, Luna. The royal court's needed the money over the years," Celestia responded, tapping her forehooves together.

Luna's frown did not falter as she tossed more of the corrupt orbs aside and teleported a fresh new set of blue and silver ornaments onto the tree she'd brought in with her.

"This is how a Harthswarming tree should really look, Tia!" she grumbled, pointing back at the thing. "It should not include things like this!"

She levitated out another set of orbs, looking over each of them in turn. "Harry Trotter, Mearvell, My Little Human?" She looked at her elder sister with a raised eyebrow.

"They're personal, I don't just go hanging them anywhere!" Celestia exclaimed, surging up to swipe them from Luna's magical grip.

Dumbstruck, Luna responded. "While I respect the literary genre as much as the next mare, you do know one of those is for little colts and fillies right?"

"So, there's nothing wrong with that, besides, they're collectibles," Celestia huffed, then waved a hoof at the last bauble Luna levitated. "Oh, and that last one... Well, Cadence insisted."

"FedEx?" Luna muttered, muzzle wrinkled in confusion. She threw it aside and flared her horn, another set of decorations flashing into existence on the tree. "What's happened to you, sister?"

"What, a princess has to have hobbies," Celestia retorted, cradling her precious collectible items.

Luna rolled her eyes again. "Very well, let's just get this over with." She stomped a hoof and turned back to her tree. "All we need now is a tree topper, a star would suffice and yet I doubt you've used one in years."

She dipped her magic into the sack, rummaging until she felt something distinctively different from all of the other decorations. What she retrieved was not what she expected, a small plastic statuette of a pirouetting lavender alicorn with her wings spread.

"What is this supposed to be?" Luna deadpanned, and Celestia rubbed the back of her neck.

"What? I have to keep her happy, you know, in case one day she realizes her full potential and tries to overthrow us," Celestia offered with a weak chuckle.

"Hur, you're saying that you've been putting a statuette of your best student and fellow princes on top of your tree for how long?" Luna pressed and Celestia sank into her covers.

"Oh, only a few years," she assured, ears folding back.

"I see, well I can say that this is not going on top of my tree... Wait, if she's supposed to sit on top then that means the branch must go between..." Luna stopped herself, took one look at the tiny alicorn, then at the sharp treetop. "Sister!"

Celestia's blush was ten times more evident than her sister's as she sank lower into her covers. "So, what... Maybe I wouldn't mind if she took over and made me a slave or something for a little while."

Luna's right eye twitched as she glanced at her tree, then her awkward, red-cheeked elder sister.

A loud groan escaped her mouth as she pressed a hoof to her face. "Of all the things I thought would make me want to go back to the moon..." She glared daggers at Celestia. "This is not what I had in mind."