Wounds will heal...
“Hearth's Warming, the best time of the year; so they say.
I haven't had a good Hearth's Warming in a long time. I used to spend it with my family. But now I spend it with my cat, Amber.
Amber was a parting gift from my mom, she passed a while back. I think it was my dad's fault. Bastard. Why? Oh, you want me to tell you? Well, it wouldn't be a story if I told you in one sentence. Well, I have to tell it now.” The mailbell rings. “On second thought, maybe later; mail just got in.”
“I got two letters from my dad, he's sick. He wants to spend Hearth's Warming with me.
I can't. I can, but... I can't be around him; especially when he-. No. I'm not going. He said he didn't want to be in my life. Why would he-?! He-!” She sighs. “He left me, he left us when we needed him the most.
My psychiatrist told me to leave him and my anger behind. So that's what I'm going to do.”
“I can't stop thinking about that damn letter, or that damn flower. I can't believe he kept it.” She picks up the flower once more, before smiling at it. “I remember that day, that was the last day we all spent together.” She shakes her head. “It's just memories now.”
“Everything was simple back then. How'd it get to be this way? Everything was okay.
Mom was our compass, our leader, our mother; and she died. I thought I was the only one who got affected. Oh, boy, how wrong am I, right?” She sighs. “We're lost without her.”
“One of my brothers came to visit. He asked if I got a letter from Dad, I said yes; but I didn't tell him about the other letter that came with it. I can't tell them.
I only told him that Dad wanted to see me.”
“After everything. Why didn't he just tell me? I have to go see him.
I should get him something. I know just the thing.”
“I ran into my other brother at the market. He got a letter too. He said if I was going to see him, he would go too. I told him I was.
And about the letter, I can't tell them yet, at least not now. I just can't. They won't forgive him.”
“I bought Dad a vanilla scented candle, his favorite. I also bought Mom one, she liked chocolate.” She examines both candles in her hooves. She smiles. “I miss her. I miss her gut-busting jokes, they seemed to be the only thing that could turn a bad day good. My favorite one was the door one.” She giggles a little, before continuing. “My sides hurt just thinking about that.” She sighs. “I miss our family.”
“I have spent the last hour debating when I should tell my brothers about the second letter. I've decided to tell them at the funeral. It would be easier for them. I just hope they’d go. They need to know.
I'm going to go see Dad later. It's the least I could do. It is his last Hearth's Warming. I can’t wait to see his face when I surprise him.”
“I lit Mom's scented candle, almost smells good enough to eat, but that's obviously a bad idea.” Tearing of paper can be heard. “Hold on, I think Amber is eating paper, I'll be back.” Bed springs creak, before hoofsteps recede. “Dammit, Amber! That letter was important! You're going outside!” Caroline's voice can be barely heard.
Something out of view catches fire.
“Breaking news. A town home is ablaze in the downtown area. The local fire department has now arrived on scene.”
Scars Will Stay...
“Happy Hearth's Warming.”
“Hey. Not much of a happy one.”
“Oh? Do you want to talk about it?”
“My sister died. So did my dad.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I don't know what to do.” his voice breaks.
“Here.” I pass him a box of tissues. He takes no time to grab one.
“I'm barely holding it together, but my brother is pushing me.”
“Be patient with him.”
“Easy for you to say. I'm sorry. I'm just angry, and sad.”
“Recovery is a process, process takes time, time needs patience. If you want me to help you, you have to listen to what I say.”
“Okay. Okay, I'll listen.”
“You need to focus on yourself. You'll feel the need to worry about your brother, ignore it.”
“Hey, Caroline.”
“Oh! Hey, little bro!”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just getting a last minute present.”
“For who?”
“Dad.”
“You’re going to see him?”
“Yeah. It's the least I can do. He said he wanted to fix our relationship.”
“He said the same to me. Well, he didn't say it. But he wants me there. If you're going, then I definitely am. I wasn't if you weren't.”
“Why?”
“It’d just be easier with you there. Get him a scented candle, he likes vanilla.”
“Oh yeah! I can't believe you remember that. Well, I'll see ya, lil’ bro.”
“Yeah. You too.”
“Hello. Please, come in.”
“Shall we talk about what's troubling you?”
“Yeah. I guess I should get it off my chest. It's my brother. After Caroline died, my brother just lost himself. I'm worried about him.”
“You should bring him in sometime. I could see how much Caroline's death weighed on him. Will that make you feel better?”
“Yeah. It would. Thank you.”
“Little bro?”
“Yeah?”
“I went to see Dad.”
“You did? How is he?”
“He's gone.”
“What?”
“I lashed out on him. I didn't mean to.”
“What did you say?!”
“I blamed him for Caroline.”
“Why would you do that?!”
“I wasn't thinking. I just exploded.”
“Get over here. Now.”
“You idiot! Caroline's death was an accident!”
“I didn't know!”
“You should have thought it through! Though, you would've just went. Wouldn't you?! Wouldn't you?!”
“Yes, I would've! I know Mom's death was his fault!”
“You are so judgemental! Do you even have a soul?!”
“I forgave him! I stayed there for the whole night thinking of an apology! I felt terrible after yelling at him! Did you even ask how I feel about Caroline?! No! You just assume! You assume that I don't have a heart, but mine is probably bigger than your unbeating heart!”
“Are you okay?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because, we loved her.”
“Can we not talk about what happened?! It happened! Nothing won't change the fact that I won't be able to see her again!”
“But I-”
“She's gone! She's not coming back! So just leave it alone!”
“No.”
“What?!”
“I said no! All you ever do is shut me out! We need to talk about it!”
“If you want to talk about it, let's talk about what we should do! Otherwise, it's pointless! Pointless!” He sits down, gazing at the photograph. “Don’t you get it? Nothing will bring her back.”
“So let's do it for her.”
He looks at me. “Do what?”
“Live.”
“So you gave him the same advice I gave you?”
“Mostly. I threw in a few words. I can't believe it's been a year already.”
“Since Caroline?” He nods. “You came a long way, since then.”
“Yeah. I definitely did.”
“But you're still recovering. Maybe you should focus on yourself for a while. Take some 'me’ time.”
“But my brother-”
“Will be okay. Don't worry about others so much. Take some time off.”
“Okay. I will.”
The Past Is Sealed...
“Hearth's Warming. Just another way for Corporate Equestria to make money off of us. A disgrace to what it used to be.
Funny. I could say the same thing about my dad. A disgrace.
I like how he expects me to show up when he walked out. Just the thought of him pisses me off.”
“I went to go see my sister; not something that I can do a lot. It's nice seeing her, she's like Mom: guiding, loving; but she still can't cook.” He giggles a bit, before continuing. “On a serious note, she helps me cope. She was the one who helped me deal with Mom's passing. I don’t know what I'd do without her.”
“Little bro? What is it?”
“Turn on the TV. Channel 168.”
“Why? What's wrong?”
“Just do it.”
He turns on the TV. “A town home is ablaze in the downtown area. The local fire department has now arrived on scene.”
“That's Caroline's house.”
“Firefighters have recovered a body of a mare.”
“No. That's not her. That can't be! I was just there! Tell me that's not her!”
“She isn't responding.”
After he turns the TV down, he hangs up to call Caroline.
“Hey. It's Caroline. I'm not at he phone right n-”
“Goddammit!” he yells, before beaming the phone across the room. His heart plummets, as he comes to realization. “That bastard!”
“What did you say to her?!”
“Son?”
“Don’t 'son’ me! What did you do?!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Caroline! She's dead!”
“She's dead?”
“God, you're so clueless!”
“When did this happen?”
“Does it matter?! You-”
“Sir?”
“What?!” You feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you as
you turn around, seeing who you assume is Dad's doctor. “Oh God, I'm sorry.”
“I'm going to have to ask you to leave Mr. Carol alone to rest.”
“Rest?”
“He has had an operation a day ago.”
“He’s my son.”
The doctor saunters to the foot of the bed. “I'm sorry. But he needs to go. You need your rest.”
“It’s all right, I'll go.” You glance at Dad, “It's your fault.”, you say before walking out.
“Why her?! Why not me, instead?! I mean, it's not like I have much going for me! She had a whole life ahead of her! But it got cut short by a damn coward who couldn't face his own mistakes!” After he lowers his head, he sighs. “But he's gone, they're both gone; and it hurts. I hurts so damn much. I didn't hate him, I was just angry.” His eyes water up. “S-so stupid. I get that now.” Tears hit the ground. “I’m so stupid.”
“You aren't stupid. But you can't cling to the past, you can't change it. But you can learn.”
“It still hurts.”
“Pain is temporary. But love isn't. It may be difficult to let go, but it's a part of loving someone. You have to accept that some ponies can't live forever. If you don’t, the pain will eat you.”
“It’s not that i’m sad that I won't be able to see her anymore, it’s because she wanted to help out in the world, and she didn’t get to. That's all she wanted, it was that or help out with animals, like how my mom did. But she can't now.”
“You have to let go.”
“I can't. She helped me after my mom died. Now, I don't know what to do.”
“Let ponies in. Let others help you. Or you can listen to my guidance. I know it seems hopeless now, but I promise it will get better.”
“I can't believe it's been a year now. It seems like it was yesterday. I should have visited her more.”
“Don’t blame yourself; there isn't always a tomorrow.”
But The Pain Will Always Remain
Dear, Caroline,
I know how long it’s been, and I know what I've done.
I abandoned you, you and your brothers. I'm sorry. I truly am. I broke my family. I… I tried to make it better, but it all went to crap. It was all my fault.
I am sick. This is going to be my last Hearth's Warming. I want to spend it with my foals. I want to see you in pony, so I can apologize properly. I want a chance to put everything behind us.
You would think me listening to other ponies preparing for their death would ease me. I hate to tell you, I’m absolutelyterrified of leaving. Especially if I didn't fix my relationship with my foals. I guess it's ‘cause I'm still young.
I'll tell you. Not a day went by, when I didn't think about any of you. Leaving was the hardest thing I did. I couldn't handle losing someone else. I should've been more of a dad. Instead of just avoiding the pain.
I want to change it. Please, come visit.
Love,
Your father
Dear, Caroline,
I know I already sent a letter.
But this is my last Hearth's Warming.
I wrote this to bring that horrible accident to light, and I just wanted to clear up some things, too.
After your mom passed, I was lost. When she left, she took a piece of me with her; my will to go on. Then I met her, my savior, my motivator, my love; for a while.
We were at each other's throats after a few months. It turned out, she wanted to leave. I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't let you, my foals grow up without a mother. I begged and pleaded down on my hooves for her not to leave. It worked. God, I looked pathetic.
The first years were somewhat good, I would sometimes hear her crying in the night, though. Anyways, after that, she couldn't handle it; something inside her snapped. She was going to kill all three of you and pin it on me.
I caught her pouring poison in soup. I tried to talk her out of it, begging her not to go through with it.
She grabbed a knife. Saying that if I didn't let her leave, she would kill me.
I said I couldn't.
She lunged, knife still in hoof. I shielded myself.
As our bodies collided, she stabbed into my hoof. I screamed as she immediately ripped it out to carve my hide again.
We wrestled, knocking the pot of soup off the counter.
Fueled by adrenaline, I pushed her away, she lost her balance, but regains it.
After she charges, she slips on the soup, she falls.
I get ready for another attack. But she doesn't get up right away.
She tries to stand, our eyes meet, she blinks, before glancing at herself, she collapses.
When I approach her, I hear crying, and apologies.
I advance further. Her eyes were filled with tears, there is a knife in the side of her chest, deep enough to reach the handle.
“I'm s-sorry. I'm so sorry.” She cries quietly as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I should've listened-” she whimpered at she bumped the knife. I hold the back of her head on my back. “Thank you.” she whispered.
“I should've just let you go.” I said, as tears form.
“Don’t tell the foals.”
“I won't. I promise.”
After everything, I cleaned up the kitchen, put her in her room, and made it look like a suicide. The crazy kind of shit, you'd do for love, right?
Now you know the truth, show your brothers, let them know.
I will always love you.
Sincerely,
Your father
