Journal Entry 142

It's been a while since my last entry, but now that I have some free time, I'm happy to jot down some of my thoughts. It's been just over a month since Maverick came into my life and honestly...I'm feeling rather conflicted right now. As the weeks have gone by, Maverick is showing significant improvement in his physical well-being. Not only that, but he's less hostile. Not to say that he ever was hostile, but there always seemed to be some anger behind his words, even while joking around.

That anger seems to have regressed as his body began to heal. His humor is still questionable at times, but no longer comes from a place of aggression. I do feel that some of the things he does though, he does purely to spite me.

I can't say that I'm upset about it. In fact, I find myself rather welcoming of this new dynamic in my life. And thus, that's where the issue lies. I fear that I'm becoming too attached to Maverick...

Having him around has been stressful, at times. However, since regaining his ability to move around more freely, at least more than he was able to prior, he's become less of a...I don't want to say burden...hindrance? No, I think that's worse...

Regardless, it's made things around my home much easier. Thanks to Amethyst's occasional visits as well, there are days where a significant amount of work is removed from my shoulders. It was touch and go for a while there, but I think Maverick is warming up nicely to her...Kind of...

He and I have gotten pretty close as well. He's shared stories about his world and his people. I find quite a lot of it to be unbelievable, but then again, I never would have expected to meet a one-of-a-kind creature with sentience either. In turn, I've shared as much about pony-kind to him as I could. He finds a lot of our customs odd, but appears to be rather open about adapting to it.

I find this both exciting and terrifying...

For whatever reason, I'm scared of Maverick's recovery. I'm happy he's doing better, really. But, I'm afraid that once he is fully recovered that he'll leave and for some reason that terrifies me. I don't want him to leave. The very thought fills me with dread. I can't stop thinking about how much I would miss him if he decided to go off on his own, or how he could get hurt again. How am I supposed to to help him if I don't know where he is?

I feel as though this is no longer just a desire to help him recover. There's more to it now and that therein is where the problem lies.

Sweet Celestia,

"Sweetheart!" The mare in question turned her head at the call of her name, looking back at the door beside her bed. Before she could even respond, the feminine voice called out once more. "Would you get in here before I strangle this stallion!"

Sweetheart rolled her eyes as she pushed against the desk, her chair rolling back slightly from the force. With her path now clear, the mare hopped down from her seat and trotted into the living room to find Amethyst standing in front of Maverick. The doctor was holding a tongue press in one of her forehooves while the other tapped impatiently on the ground as she stared up at the human sitting on the couch.

"What's going on in here?" Sweetheart asked in a tone that could only be compared to a mother subtly scorning her children after having caught them in the middle of a fight.

Amethyst turned her gaze to Sweetheart, frustration evident from her expression. "I'm trying to-"

"Your friend here is trying to get inside of me." Maverick interrupted flatly, earning a shocked look from both mares.

Despite the man's words, and just how off-putting they were, Amethyst was quick to defend herself. "It's not like that and you know it! Stop being a pain and open your mouth!"

"I refuse to let you in my body in way, shape or form." Maverick replied, his tone unchanged.

Amethyst would continue to argue, unsure if he was acting this way because it was strange for his species, or if he's doing it simply just to spite her. "It's a standard procedure! We do this all the time for routine check-ups!"

"I stopped going in for check-up after the six-week prostate exam."

This earned him a look from both Amethyst and Sweetheart. However, it didn't deter the doctor from her goal. "I'm not going to ask nicely anymore."

"I'm not letting you do it either waACH!" Maverick's words quite literally became caught in his throat as Amethyst dove in, shoving the small slab of wood into his open maw and pressing down so she could get a look inside. It only took a few seconds for her to be satisfied with the results before pulling the press out and levitating a notebook up to write down a few notes.

Maverick moved his tongue around, trying to become reacquainted with the abused appendage. "Balsa wood?" He asked rhetorically as he glared at the doctor. "You could have at least used mahogany."

The human's remark got a giggle out of Sweetheart, the nurse raising a hoof to cover her muzzle in an attempt to stifle the noise before turning her attention to the mare beside her. "So, what did we learn today?"

"Aside from him reinforcing how much of a pain in the flank he is, not much." Amethyst replied, not taking her eyes away from her notes. "Temperature is normal, for him at least. His sense of smell is not as acute as a pony, his hearing is close, and his penis doesn't have a sheath."

Sweetheart's face went red at that last speculation.

"You know, you could have just asked..." Maverick added, only furthering how uncomfortable Sweetheart felt at that moment. Not to mention that there was a moral issue that had quickly reared its head as a result.

"Amethyst!?!" Sweetheart all but yelled into the doctor's ear.

Amethyst winced at the nurse's suddenly raised tone, but was once again quick to defend her actions. "I'm a doctor! He's an alien! It's not like I tried to suck him off!"

The red on Sweetheart's face only deepened. However, the inappropriate mental imagery did little to deter her. "Still! There's no reason to force him into doing something he's uncomfortable with!"

"It's for science!"

At this point, Maverick had officially taken it upon himself to tune out the bickering mares. He personally found it easier on his own mental state to simply fade out of reality for a while and let the two battle it out without him having to sit through the whole thing. It's not like they're addressing him anyway.

There was a brief stare down between the two before Amethyst finally broke. "Okay! I'm sorry!" The doctor said with a huff, breaking away from their visual onslaught as she submitted. "I still think you're taking it too seriously, but I'll try to refrain from doing things without his permission. Happy?"

As did Amethyst, so did Sweetheart. "It's fine, Amethyst. I just...I don't want him feeling uncomfortable is all." The nurse explained, her gaze softening as she looked on at her friend. "I know you didn't mean any harm and you're just trying to help. I'm sorry for snapping like that."

After taking a few second to pull together her own thoughts, Amethyst truly submitted. "No. Don't apologize." The mare's ears sank a bit, showing the nurse just how genuine her following statement was. "Honestly, if you weren't around to keep me in check, I'd probably be a bit too invasive." The mare glanced over at the human, her gaze soon resting there as a result of his blank stare. "Is he alright?"

"Hmm?" Sweetheart followed her friend's gaze, looking over at Maverick to see his rather empty appearance. This is nothing new to Sweetheart so she easily shrugged it off and turned her attention back to Amethyst. "He's fine. He does that whenever he gets bored."

"Uh-huh..." Amethyst would be lying if she said it wasn't weird, but she doesn't have the proper training to handle matters of the mind of Maverick; nor the patience. "Anyway, I should be going. It's my day off to and I think my herd is starting to suspect that I'm having an affair."

Sweetheart flinched at her words, feeling guilty for keeping Amethyst from her family. "Yeah. Maybe you should head home." She said, not wanting to make her friend's life any harder than it needed to be. "I think I can handle Maverick; especially since he's moving on his own now."

"With all do respect," Amethyst glanced over at Maverick to make sure he was still off in his own little world before continuing. "Your alien friend there seems pretty dense. I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything; I just hope he knows how lucky he is to have you looking out for him."

Sweetheart's blush made a subtle return at her friend's words. "Come on now; I'm nothing special."

Amethyst rolled her eyes at Sweetheart's comment. "You really don't give yourself enough credit." She began, placing a hoof to her friend's shoulder. "You are literally the nicest pony I know. Any herd would be lucky to have you. Honestly, if you weren't like a sister to me, I would have asked you to join mine years ago."

This caused a few thoughts to form in Sweetheart's brain, only serving to further her confusion about her own thoughts and feelings. She lowered her head as her mind began to torment her, glancing over at the zoned-out human on her couch. Aside from his blank, empty stare, something about him just clicked with her. His soft, smooth skin felt like velvet against her hooves. His confidence and determination was stunning. His attitude, though questionable, has brought a strange sense of joy and excitement into her life. And then there's that look he has almost all of the time. A certain ambition, or determination. There's something that drives him to do everything to the very best of his ability. There's no hesitation, nothing there to stop him. If he wants something, he'll fight for it to his last breath and something about that just makes her head swim.

Amethyst lowered her hoof back to the floor. She noticed something strange in Sweetheart's eyes as the mare stared at the human. She followed her friend's gaze for a moment, looking back and forth between the two, watching as something quickly made itself known through the look alone that she was giving the creature. The pieces all started falling into place and the doctor's jaw dropped as the realization dawned on her.

"You like him, don't you?"

Sweetheart's head snapped back to Amethyst, a look of panic now taking over her features. "W-what!? What are you talking about?" The knowing look that spread across Amethyst's face only made her terror grow. "No! No, it's not like that! I swear!"

Maverick stirred from his self-induced descent into the void, the sound of Sweetheart's rising tone being enough to pull him back into reality. He lifted his hands and placed them to his head before dragging his palms down his face as if he had just woken up from a nap. "What are we yelling about now?"

Much to Sweetheart's relief, Amethyst was the one to handle the situation, and not in a way that would cause her even more embarrassment. "No one is yelling. Even if we were, you're too stupid to tell the difference in tones."

Maverick's hands dropped to his knees, as did the metaphorical microphone as he formed a reply. "Coming from the one who got her degree from the back of a cereal box."

Amethyst took a sharp breath through her nose, biting her lip to keep herself from turning this into a full-blown fight. "Anyway, I need to be heading home. Good luck, Sweetheart." The mare reaches out a forehoof, pulling the nurse into a hug, which was happily returned. The doctor pulled her close, leaning in until her muzzle was less than an inch from her friend's ear. "You can't hide from the truth forever, hon."

On that note, Amethyst pulled back from the embrace and headed for the door, leaving her friend to mull over that last statement before departing. "Goodnight, Sweetheart!"

The door clicked shut as the doctor withdrew herself, Sweetheart now being left on her own with the human that caused her such a confusing stream of thoughts and emotions. Feeling mentally exhausted, the mare sat back on her haunches, letting her head drop a bit as she tried to process it all.

Maverick, picking up on her distress, leaned forward to try and get a clear view of her face as he addressed her. "You alright over there?"

Sweetheart didn't look at him, choosing to simply nod in response. "Yes, I'm fine. I just..." She couldn't tell him. Celestia only knows how he'll react. "I've got a lot on my mind right now." If she had been paying attention, she would have heard the human shifting around. It wasn't until she felt the unmistakable touch from his hands that he earned her attention. "What are you-"

The mare's words turned into a single, soft moan as Maverick's fingers began to kneed into her back. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. The feeling on its own was enough to make her thoughts melt away. Her previous stresses drifted off, becoming lost to the void, not much unlike the one Maverick frequents. A series of hums escaped her maw as she welcomed the sudden wave of relaxation pressing into her from behind.

Even with her body becoming loose and her mind finally clear, she couldn't help but feel like she should be doing something in return. Or, at the very least, let him know that the gesture is unnecessary. "Not that I don't appreciate what you're doing, but you don't have to do this for me."

"No one ever said that I had to." Maverick replied, moving his hands up to work on her shoulders. "If they did, I probably wouldn't have bothered."

"Well-" Another moan escaped the mare as he hit a particularly sensitive area just below her neck. "like I said, you really don't have to."

"I'm trying to be nice! Now shut up before I kick you in the head."

Sweetheart felt inclined to not argue with him any more on the matter. So far, he's kept true to most of his threats and she didn't feel like pushing the boundaries would do her any good. So, like a good pony, she simply sat and let him do his thing. And that was another thought she would have to push down...

Sweetheart held her ground as Maverick diligently worked the knots out of her back, literally massaging away years of stress in a matter of minutes. Despite how relaxed she felt, there was still one thought that simply refused to leave her be. "Maverick..."

Maverick's only response was to give her a questioning hum, keeping his focus on the massage as to not end up hurting her.

"W-what uh...Do y-you have any plans?" She began, finding it much harder to speak than she anticipated. "You know, when you're better..."

This time, Maverick had to respond, but did not avert his gaze. "I've actually been trying to figure that out for the last two weeks."

"...and?"

"And shit." Maverick replied, stopping momentarily to look her in the one eye he could see from his current position. "I don't have a goddamn clue what I'm gonna do. I can't just up and go home. I don't even know where home is! It clearly ain't here!" The human let out a breath before continuing to massage the pony. "I don't know what I'm gonna do, Sweetheart. If I don't figure something out soon then I'm fucked."

'This is it.' Sweetheart thought to herself. 'Moment of truth.' She takes a moment to steel herself as much as possible; for herself at least. "Y-you know...you could always...stay here..."

Maverick's motions came to a halt as those words left her mouth, showing that she had earned his full attention. He had no room to argue, no way to counteract her offer. And, if he did find a way, it wouldn't do him any good. He's an alien in a world he knows virtually nothing about, aside from what little he's learned from Sweetheart. It's not like he could go out tomorrow and find a job. Not to mention, the very last thing he wanted was to be around ponies.

As Sweetheart has proven, both by allowing him to recover in her home and introducing him to Amethyst, not all ponies are as twisted and inbred as the ones he ran into in the Northern Mountains. However, the thought still fills him with dread and he can already feel his fight instinct kicking in just from the thought alone.

Maverick huffed a bit. Not out of anger, or even out of spite. He simply just huffed. "Are you really sure about that?" He asked, knowing himself better than anyone. "I'm not blind to my own imperfections; I know how much of a complete ass I am. So, before you go offering something of this caliber to someone like me, I want you to make sure you know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

"Can I be honest with you, Maverick?" Sweetheart asked innocently enough, receiving another confirming hum in response from the human. "I've lived alone for a while now. I don't have a lot of friends, per se, and I've never been good with things like relationships and such. But, with you..." Sweetheart had to swallow a lump in her throat before continuing. "I feel oddly comfortable around you. More-so, I admire you in a lot of ways. I don't see you as an...ass...so much as someone who is strong in both body and mind. Having you here has given me a reason to come home without fear of having to be alone. I genuinely enjoy your company and I would consider it a personal favor if you stayed here with me..."

The following silence was nearly cancerous to Sweetheart. She had just spilled out most of her guts and his response to her would either make or break her in this state. She kept her head straight, her teeth biting down on her lower lip as she waited in agony for his reply.

Maverick leaned back in his seat a bit, considering everything she had told him. It was kind and he could understand her point of view all too well. That, however, is a story for another time. With his hands still locked on her shoulders, he adjusted himself to his previous position and resumed the massage. "If you're sure you can tolerate me, then yes; I'll stay with you until you decide to throw me out."

It took a lot from Sweetheart to contain herself. Maverick wouldn't be able to see it from where he was sitting, but a single, happy tear ran down her cheek at his answer. She closed her eyes, basking in the warmth in her chest and the sweet caresses of his hands. "I could never do that, Maverick~"

For a while, this moment was something Sweetheart considered to be perfect in every way. That ended when his fingers happened to find a spot on the back of her neck that was exceptionally more sensitive than most anything else on her body. As his thumbs pressed down on the base of her skull, where the flesh connected with her neck, the mare let out a loud cry of pleasure, her face becoming hot as her body reacted to the stimulation in ways she didn't even know existed. In an instant, Sweetheart lurched forward, pulling away from the human's grip with her tail pressed flush against her body.

"I'll be back in a minute!" Sweetheart quickly stated before practically sprinting into her room, slamming the door behind her as she tucked herself away in her own, private domicile.

Maverick watched her take off, his eyes wide in shock and confusion. He looked down at his hands, wondering if he was just that good or if he did something that made her uncomfortable. After a few seconds of pondering he came to the conclusion that he didn't care enough to spend any extended amount of time thinking about it.

Meanwhile, Sweetheart was having a small panic attack. Her flank was to the floor and her back to the door, forehooves spread out like the wings of a bird as she breathed deeply in an attempt to relax her body and her mind. It took several minutes before she could even begin to regain her composure, longer just for her to take her back from the door and stand upright. With her breathing returning to normal and her mind no longer swelling with impure thoughts, the mare was able to act like her old self again.

This experience was something entirely new to Sweetheart, having never been touched in that manner. Sure she had been on dates in the past, but never had she managed to do more than give, or receive, a quick peck on the cheek. Not to mention that Maverick isn't even from this world. When she boiled it down, she was really the only pony he's had an actual interaction with, yet he so effortlessly had her on the verge of pinning him to the floor and-

"No!" Sweetheart whisper-yelled to herself, shaking her head. "Just...just relax...Take a breath..." Following her own instructions, the mare took a deep, calming breath, exhaling slowly once her lungs had been filled to their full capacity. "It's okay now. You're alright. Just take it easy for a bit, try to relax, and everything will be fine."

Sweetheart's attention was soon drawn to her desk, where her journal still remained open and with an unfinished entry just waiting for her. She trotted over to the desk, hopping into her chair and pulling herself close to the wooden structure holding, what could technically be considered, an autobiography what with how much of her life she's documented into it. Without saying a word, the mare looked over her own words, the thoughts that had been plaguing her earlier that day beginning to resurface as she read on to the very end.

As if out of instinct, he hoof slid across the desk and grasped the pen that lay on the far right side. Just then, as she pulled her hoof back, resting it proper in front of her. there was a knock on her door and a very familiar voice calling out from the other side. "Hey!" Maverick yelled, being respectful enough of her privacy not to open the door. "I'm making pasta! Be out here in like three minutes!"

Sweetheart had to admit, it's been rather pleasant having him up and moving. He helped out as much as he could and sometimes, like right now for instance, is even kind enough to cook for her. However, her appetite was the last thing on her mind right now. "Thank you, Maverick. But, I'm not really hungry right now."

"Well I'm not asking you! I'm telling you!" Maverick clarified, "Out here! Three minutes! No less!"

This got a short giggle out of Sweetheart. She knows too many mares that would rant about how much of a nag he is, but she didn't think that at all. In fact, in her eyes, this is just how he shows he cares. A lot of the time, the way he speaks can come off as demanding. But, she knows he would never force her to do anything she didn't want to. He'll keep true to his threats, but would never force anything upon her.

It actually reminded her a lot of her parents. They'll argue and bicker all day and all night. But, at the end of the day, they still love each other and are only looking out for the others best interest. And that's what this felt like to her. He's not trying to make her do anything, he's just looking out for her. And, for some reason, it felt so good she didn't even know how to describe it.

"Alright, you win. I'll be out in a minute." Sweetheart replied to the man outside of her bedroom door.

"You better!"

A smile spread across Sweetheart's face as she looked back down at her journal, moving her pen back to the paper to complete her thought before closing the notebook and tucking it away in the desk drawer.

I think I'm falling for him...

Author's Note

To those who don't know why I've practically vanished from writing aspect of Fimfic, please refer to my latest blog. [Link below]

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