The Ravishing Tale of Flutteraids: A Story of the Surreal

by darkhorseapples

Rating: mature
Tags: Narcotics, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Drama, Apple Bloom, Fetish, Spike, Comedy, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Non-consensual, Fluttershy, Violence, Minecraft, Undertale, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Sex
Length: 1261

And Spike was there...

This is a story for when you are high/drunk/a divorcee/woken/or gone sicko mode (mainly gone sicko mode.)
If you think you can get more out of this story than reoccurring, unfunny, worn out memes with a small mention of ponies, you're wrong.

*Update* So guys we did it, we finally hit it. 6 Dislikes the fact we've been able to hit this ammount in such a small ammount of time is truly amazing and i cant thank you guys enough. This is why i love this community x

Published 2018-12-30 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-30 04:30:01 UTC

The End

Author's Note

This story is a little hard to follow, but I assure you it is Oscar worthy

I like mems
I like men*
I like mens*
I like memes*
I am a homosexual

But seriously whether you like or dislike the story drop a dislike please it's actually what we're looking for x luv u bby

The End

It was a ravishingly homosexual day in the savannah biome. Fluttershy was hoofing the shit out of her totally human puss, and Spike was there. It was at this point at which, get this, an Enderman appeared to unconsensually bury his teleporting
pee pee inside Spike's anus. Fluttershy, completely taken aback decided to intervene......by joining in on the sexual humiliation of the purple dragon.

"Ay Spike dog yo ass feeling warmer than a hot cuppa coffee." Exclaimed the Enderman.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RECTUM!" Spike Squealed.

"C'mon Spike it's just a bit of gay sex. Nothing you're not used to." Teased Fluttershy

"GO FUCK YOURSELF FLUTTERS." SHOUTED SPIKE.

In a beam of light, immediately bringing the situation to a halt came Phil Swift for Flex Seal. With his amazing product
he wrestled both the Enderman and Fluttershy to the ground and spread Spike's cheeks aggressively and stuck a flex seal dispenser into his rectum and squeezed the tube. Within 5 seconds Spike's arsehole was not only horrifically disfigured, but also dick proof. Caught in this paradoxical trap any attempt to remove the Flex Glue (which can be bought from the Flex Seal family of products) (( which are also not edible)) would remove any/and/all arse hairs from the rectal area.

After the realisation of the sin committed Spike proceeded to run into the backyard and dive into the pool. Well, more accurately was submerged by Phil who then followed by screaming "IT EVEN WORKS UNDERWATER!." And..Spike was there.
In the midst of all this everyone's favourite dinosaur Sans was making ripples in time and space, when he noticed a huge anomilie. In preparation for the situation he graced himself with his favourite and most trustworthy greaves and creamed on the universe before taking flight. And Spike was there. In an alternate universe Borriss Burnham (aka kill yourself man)
was preparing for a scene in his discreet comedy special "Fucking a Ricecake in E Major while Spike was there"
when he was encased by the grip of an Enderman's arms and teleported to the dimension at which Sans was due to arrive at any second.

BLAM!

Consecutively Sans and Burnham arrived to the scene of Spike's supposed drowning in confusion. Sans who thought a battle must be fought and Burnham who just had no fucking clue of his importance. Phil taking a break from advertising his amazing product lumbered to Borriss and Sans and asked them who they were.

"Who the fuck are you Flex Cunts and why are you here?" Phil asked.

"I'm Bo Yo." Bo said weathering the weather whether they thought he was clever or not, all while Sans geographically
curled out a big faeces into his own mouth? Anyway, after their awkward responses Judy Hopps burst through the door and exclaimed "Russia did a big nuke and a war must be fighted." At once the unlikely allies formed a forceful force of which they would forcefully call "Force Force (& Spike was there)" it was at this exact moment that emerged Danny Devito's anti-clockwise, yellow, penis horse cock. It was now their team was complete. Judy Hopps' Force Force were ready for battle. Against what? Who fucking knows, but it's gonna be lit.

END OF CHAPTER 1 PART 1 PERIODICALLY

In the Force Force's new HQ in June, Switzerland they are plottering a mission to overthrow new found soviet Krakowski Pie also known as the tyrannical soviet father of Pinkie Pie who had been corrupted by her father's russian mustache of corruption and Spike was there. In the HQ resided:

Judy Hopps - The Carrot Munching Cop
Enderman - Big legs
Borriss Burnham - can weather the weather
Spike - was there
Phil Swift - Works Underwater
Fluttershy - Chronic Masturbater
Sans - Geographical shit machine
Paul Blart - Flesh Mall (Yeah Paul's in the squad now)

It was time to gear up and take the Sydney Opera House (aka Russian Base of Operations) they had all trained hard Sans especially with his spicy Mexican dip and Spike had chlamydia, but was still there. They took a cargo truck from a Pakistani Warlock and drove nearer to the final destination. And within a 10 minute drive they had arrived with a plan to eliminate
soviet tyrant Krakowski Pie and his corrupted daughter along with the foot fetish propaganda. The team approached the gateway to the battle of a lifetime, when the gates swung open with Russian gunfire paralysing Paul Blart causing his instantaneous death. Soon after those events Judy Hopps led the assault before failing hit a fat dab and being consumed by Paul Blart's flesh mall. Unfortunately following the fate of Judy Hopps, the Enderman attempts to break through the meaningless gunfire, but ultimately fails and accidentily transports himself into Paul Blart's flesh mall, sharing Judy's fate.
Sans utilising his talent of geographical shits send out a fat load towards the Russian defences which incapacitates 19 Russian soldier and infecting 9 with pink eye. With the gates clear our team progresses through the house leaving tens of Russian soldier to waste. They reach the Main Office when they are confronted by a sexy 18 YEARS OLD Apple Bloom who was working for the agency all along. Shocked that this 18 YEARS OLD Apple Bloom would do such a thing they react how anyone would to being betrayed. They nuke that sexy, 18 YEARS OLD Apple Bloom, but in the process kill Borriss and Sans.

With only the three of them remaining they stormed the comm room where Pinkie and Krakowski awaited their arrival.
It was time for the final showdown as the heroes and the villains stared each other down with lust. Phil immediately glided towards Krakowski and begun a fight with the soviet while Pinkie in the mean time had fucking impaled Spike who was there....with a fucking pole through his chest along with him died the spirits of Christians, Jews, Terrorists all of them. Fluttershy half-arsedly bitch slapped pinkie into some racks of foot fetish propaganda, but upon seeing this broke into a
mindless foot-fetish ridden rage biting two feet off Pinkie and massaging her dinger with them Maury from Big Mouth cheering her on. Pinkie from Big Mouth taken aback by Shy's kinkiness broke into a lustful rage, unimpaling Spike and using the pole to impale Fluttershy and with that moment every Christian, Jew and Terrorist spirit's were revived with Juggernog. Phil still in the fight Flex Tape's his penis to his hand erecting it in an attempt to replicate brass knuckles. Luckily, this works killing Krakowski from Big Mouth dead. Unfortunately this kills Phil as he was unable to foresee the consequences of using his penis as a weapon. Pinkie using a classic villain monologue bores Fluttershy to death and all seems lost when Paul Blart's cancerous remains emerge behind Pinkie consuming her and her foot fetish fantasy land with her. But, with one final breath Fluttershy uttered "I've got Flutteraids lol rekt." And an 18 YEARS OLD Spike from Big Mouth was there and said "I am Gru all along, I was am Gru whole time. Tune in next week for Chapter 2 gorls."

...and Spike was there