One Little Slip

Chapters

One Little Slip
Mornings
Day And Night
What A Foal
A Fine Mess
Decisions
Assurance
Bonding
Somepony Else Was Pulling Strings
Thundersitting
Deviations
Aftermath
The Hunt
Confessions
Choices
Sentenced
Epilogue
To Tell The Truth

One Little Slip

Author's Note

Hey guys! It's been a long time. Well, for me anyways. This is not my first fic with Thunderlane in it, but it is with him as the main character. So, you know, be kind.

Hope you guys enjoy what I have so far! :pinkiehappy:

One Little Slip

It was a clear night in Ponyville, but the stars were unseen through the window of Thunderlane. Only the light of the full moon lit his bedroom, and he preferred it that way. For the task he was about to undertake, he preferred to remain unseen. He pushed his bed to one side, and opened the small hatch on the floor. When he was about fifteen he had put it in one day while his parents and little brother were away. Back then he used it for hiding dirty magazines, or other things he didn’t want seen. Now, it served a different purpose entirely. A sound of crackling filled the room as he picked up the plastic covered object in his hand. He ran a hoof over it. His secret shame. His hoof shook as he picked up one of the objects inside. It too was plastic, or at least sounded that way on the outside. But it wasn’t.

In his hand was an adult diaper.

Thunderlane wasn’t really sure how this whole thing started. It was maybe a month or so ago. He had been walking along the street, heading to the market, when he noticed the cake twins in their stroller. Or, more specifically, the diapers they had been wearing. He didn’t look longer than half a second before he carried on. But as he went about the rest of that day, and the following ones, he took more and more notice of diapers. It seemed like every foal in town had been there, looking cozy and snug in their diapers. When he was at the pharmacy to pick up some cough medicine for his little brother, he couldn’t stop himself from going down the diaper aisle and staring at them. For the life of him, he couldn’t fathom why. He had snapped himself out of that daze and continued on. But on that day, that particular day, the seeds of curiosity had implanted themselves in his brain. He found himself seeing them everywhere, and the more he tried to ignore it, the more it seemed to haunt him. It got to the point where he had to stop himself and give it some serious thought, just to try and get to sleep at night.

Why the heck was it fascinating him so much? What was there to know? Foals wore them, and sometimes the elderly, injured, or ponies with incontinence used them. That was it. But that image seemed to stick in his mind. And he started wondering what they were like. He had been toilet trained before he had any memories he could recall, and had had only one or two nighttime accidents as a colt, and they were so far spaced out that his parents had considered them flukes. He didn’t require any protection. There was something about them that seemed so… Comforting? Safe? He wasn’t sure what the right word was. But that was ridiculous! Why would he, of all ponies, be thinking that? It was like an alien thought had invaded his brain. He called himself an idiot for dwelling on it for as long as he had, and went to bed.

But it hadn’t ended there. He had really thought it would, since he gave it some thought. Usually that made any thoughts he had go away, even if it was for a short time. But in this case, he had no such luck. Every day he noticed more, and thought about it more and more. He thought he was going to go crazy with how much it was overwhelming him. The question to him remained though, what on earth was he supposed to do with those thoughts?

Try one on. His mind answered for him.

It was ridiculous. Beyond insanity. He had no need for them, no use for them. That was it. End of story.

But of course, it wasn’t. The urge and desire strengthened with every passing day. Until finally, he caved.

It had been his annual vacation from Wonderbolts, and he had been in Las Pegasus. It was his last night there. After a night in a bar, drunk out of his skull, he had gone to a store nearby, called Forever Foals. He didn’t know how he knew where it was or where to go, but at that point he was too drunk to mind. He grabbed two packs of Large adult diapers, paid for them, stuffed them in his saddle bag, went to his hotel, and passed out. He hadn’t even remembered them or even looked in his bags until he got home the next day.

When he had seen them, he had flushed scarlet with embarrassment. But it wasn’t as bad as he had anticipated. He couldn’t remember doing it, so that was a plus. And he had done so in a town where he wasn’t well known. If he was ever going to do it, he supposed that that had been the best way to go.

Now there was just the question of what to do with them.

Well, you did buy them. Said a voice in his head. Might as well see what all the fuss is about.

He ripped open the plastic, wincing at the loud sound, and looked down. Inside were several white and fluffy diapers. Tentatively, he touched one, then retracted his hoof as if the object had burned him. But they hadn’t. With less trepidation this time, he touched one. It was an odd feeling. Sort of plastic feeling on the front, but still very fluffy. He pulled one out of the pack and opened it up. The inside was very plush. More so than he had expected. It soothed him in an odd, strange way.

Do I dare…?

He looked around the room. The windows were shut and locked, curtains drawn, and his bedroom door was locked. At that point in time, it couldn’t have gotten any more private. He figured it was now or never, and laid down, sliding the open diaper under himself. It was like a pillow, but less fluffy. He taped it up, remembering how to change a diaper from Rumble’s foal days, though it was infinitely harder to do it to himself. Then, he sat up.

The diaper felt nice, a pillowy cushion beneath his bottom and between his legs. There was something so safe about the garment, that it made him feel slightly less exposed. Only slightly, but it was enough. He had to work to get up from his seated position, but when he got on his hooves it felt strange. The bulk between his legs pushed them apart. Not uncomfortably, but it made walking difficult. He didn’t walk so much as waddle, and the crinkling and rustling of the diaper seemed to intensify with every step.

For some reason, waddling around like that made him giggle. He wasn’t sure why he did it, not then, and not when he reflected back on it later. But he had. He waddled around the room. He didn’t say anything, or do much else besides giggle on occasion, but it was enough for him.

It had already been evening when he put it on, and by the time night had come with full moons and sparkling stars, he had decided to go to bed. He had almost taken it off, but he decided that ultimately there was no harm in it. He could wear it a little longer. He had climbed into bed and slept soundly that night.

In the morning that followed, his shame took over again, beat him down for the rest of the day, but that night, he could not help himself from padding up again. And the pattern continued every night after.

Tonight, Thunderlane diapered himself up before bed. He waddled around the room for a little while, giggling. And for maybe half a second, he saw the world around him in a different light. He wasn’t sure how. It was just… different. But like a shooting star, it was gone just as soon. He shrugged it off, and climbed into bed, leaving a window open to let some air in. The summer nights were hot, and he always left it open. Besides, there was no pony who lived nearby or had keys to his home. He was perfectly safe here- something he may have forgotten at his first paranoid trial of his new garments. Satisfied, he easily fell asleep.

Deep in the middle of the night, when the darkness was blackest and the moon was the sole light in the land, a mare flew up to Thunderlane’s home. The window had been left open, just as she had instructed, and she smiled at his obedience. He had been very susceptible to her- that was why she had picked him. She landed, silent as mist hitting the ground, and looked over at the slumbering stallion. His blanket had left his back exposed, and there was no denying the diaper he was wearing. She smiled and nodded. It was working very well. She thought it might be time for step two. She looked over at the clock, and waited until the clock showed it was three AM. That was the time when biorhythms were at their lowest point, meaning that it was when he was least likely to wake. She leaned over him, and in a calm, soothing voice, began to speak.

“Listen to me closely, Thunderlane…”

The stallion never stirred, and she left him about an hour later.

Mornings

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Day And Night

Author's Note

This chapter was very fun, not gonna lie. Writing our villainess here has been a hoot for me. I sure hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did!

Special thanks to SuperPinkBrony12 for catching my mistakes. Apologies to you all about the mix up in names. I have an RP OC who's son's name is Thunderwing, so it was a pretty easy mistake to make. Probably didn't help that I was RPing at the time I wrote that either. Soooo... Yeah. Sorry! :twilightsheepish: But hey, to say thank you to you, SuperPinkBrony12, I want to give you something special. Hit up my inbox sometime, my friend.

Hope you all enjoy this! :pinkiehappy:

Day And Night

To say Thunderlane was upset was an understatement. He was royally pissed off, and incredibly confused. Not to mention a little scared, though he would never admit that part of it. He groaned, angry and ashamed at himself that morning as he stripped himself of his diaper.

“Why does this keep happening to me?!” He asked himself. But really, he could only ask himself. He wasn’t going to just tell somepony about this, not his family, friends, or even a doctor. He didn’t want to get a bad reputation, and he was too ashamed to say anything in the first place. He went on about his day, agitated and rather snippy. When a few ponies asked why he was upset, he replied that he had lost a bet with somepony and didn’t want to talk about it further. It seemed to satisfy their curiosity and get them off of his back. They didn’t push further, and he was let be.

But the wet nights continued. Though at first there was a night or two where he woke up dry. Those mornings when he woke up to a dry diaper filled him with relief, but he always ended up putting one on the night after. Just in case. And usually his instincts served him well. But by the end of a week, he had woken up wet every morning.

His nightly visitor found things progressing well. After the end of the week, when he had wet himself nightly, she decided to push a little further.

About two days after the worst week (as he had so dubbed it) he had gone to the bathroom like every morning, and had about to go and use the toilet, when something stopped him. Some odd anxiety. The toilet seemed so… big. Kind of scary, too. And the roaring noise it made whenever he flushed was terrifying. But he shook his head to clear it.

This is really getting to me, isn’t it? He thought. He ignored his fears and used the toilet. But the fear did not confine itself to the morning. It started happening any time he went to use the bathroom. But every time, he pushed through it. He wasn’t about to let some mounting anxiety get the better of him.

His mysterious visitor found this displeasing. From what she had seen, through windows of his home, this wasn’t working as well as she had thought. So she decided to take more direct action. Her pink and white striped mane was blown back a bit as she flew through his window.

She waited until three AM, as it had been working seamlessly for her since day one, and then spoke to him.

“Listen to me, Thunderlane. Just listen and relax.” Her voice was velvety, calm, and soothing. “You’ve been so big using the potty like a big boy. But you’re not a big boy. You’re just a foal. And foals have accidents during the daytime, too. You will be too scared to use the big pony potty, and you won’t be able to stop your accidents, no matter how hard you try.”

Thunderlane shifted on the bed, but otherwise didn’t show any signs of waking. She paused for a moment, and then continued.

“You will have to start wearing your diapers during the daytime too. Because you don’t have any control of your bladder anymore.” She finished. Thunderlane did not stir. She spent the rest of the time watching over him as he slept, and then took her leave.

Things only got worse for Thunderlane after that. It was the weekend after he started having more frequent nighttime accidents. He had decided to spend it at home, too embarrassed by what was happening to him to go out and be seen. He had realized very early on in the day that he needed the bathroom, so he went over to it. There stood his enemy. The toilet. His fear and anxiety over using it had risen, escalated, and surpassed anything he had ever felt. He had tried to talk himself out of the fear, but it was too much for him this time. The toilet was too scary.

He hopped from hoof to hoof as he did a potty dance, trying to figure out what to do. Unfortunately, his body decided for him, and he started to have an accident on the floor. He tried to stop the flow. He clenched his legs, focused on it, but it wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t even slow down. He was forced to wait it out. It seemed like an eternity before it finally stopped completely, and he was standing in a puddle of his own shame. Angry and upset as he was, he couldn’t help but think that at least the bathroom had tiled floors and this would be easy to clean. He cleaned up, and tried to go on about his day.

But the problem persisted, until he had had three daytime accidents in one day. He knew he had to do something about it. But what? The answer lay in the hatch under his bed. He sighed, and moved the bed, before powdering himself and putting on a fresh diaper. He happened to have looked down at the supplies when he was putting the powder away, and saw that he was running low. With the way things were going, he didn’t have much of a choice but to get more.

But where can I get more? He wondered to himself.

Forever Foal. Came a voice in his mind.

He was going to question how he knew that, but a hazy memory of going there during his drinking binge in Las Pegasus broke through to him, and he sighed. He didn’t really have much of a choice. It wasn’t like he could go somewhere in Ponyville. But how was he going to cover his diaper?

The only answer to that was his Wonderbolts uniform. He felt almost dirty as he slipped it on over his diaper. That uniform was a symbol of his pride, a badge of achievement, and it had been sullied by having to even graze the backing of that diaper. But he didn’t have time to wallow in self-pity and shame. He had to leave now if he was going to get there before the store closed.

He could have- no, he should have taken the Ponyville Express to get there. It was much quicker and far more convenient. But he couldn’t risk ponies asking him questions. At least, ones he knew. So he flew upwards once he got out his front door. Higher, higher, and higher still. Until he was sure that no pegasus would be soaring so high. Then, he bolted off.

By the time he reached Las Pegasus, the sun was starting to set. He was up high enough at that point to see the streets, and maneuvered himself as though he was walking them. He knew somehow how to get there, but he passed it off as having a drunk memory of doing so. He landed just in front of the store and quickly entered. Mercifully, the streets around it were empty, and so was the store. He was the only one there besides the cashier. He grabbed a few packs of diapers in his size, and he was about to go and pay, when something caught his eye.

It was a onesie. But it wasn’t decorated or even colorful. It was the exact shade of his coat. He felt drawn to it, thinking that maybe it could help his little problem. When he looked further, he was pleasantly surprised with what he found. It was magically enchanted, to completely mask the diaper he was wearing, and blend seamlessly with his coat. He didn’t even think as he grabbed one in his size. He went up to the cashier, paid quickly, and got the hell out of there.

He was the last customer of the day, and the cashier was counting the money in the drawer, when a pony came out from the door to the back room. Her pink and white striped mane brushed only slightly against the floor as she walked over to the young mare at the register.

“Is everything okay?” She asked the girl.

“Everything is fine, Miss Mesma. So far, we’ve turned a great profit today.”

Mesma nodded. “Good. Thank you very much.” She said, and eyed the door where Thunderlane had left. She had seen him through the back window, and saw the unmistakable bulk of a diaper on his flank. She grinned a wan smile to herself. If her plan was working this quickly, he was becoming more susceptible to her hypnotic suggestions. That meant less of a wait time for her, and more impact for him. In just a few more days, he may be ready for the next phase of her plan.

But for now, she was content to wait.

What A Foal

Author's Note

It's barely noon here and I've already done two chapters today. I'm pretty excited to see what else comes. We have not gotten to Mesma's back story yet (Sorry Mix-Up) But rest assured we will.

I hope you guys enjoy this! :pinkiehappy:

What A Foal

The next day was hard for Thunderlane, despite his embarrassing plight being made easier with the onesie that covered his rump. He had tried it on the second he got home, and was relieved when it was everything it promised to be. No visible trace of the diaper was there, and the poof it normally gave in the back was nonexistent now. He just looked like his old self, and for a few moments of pure bliss, he could pretend he was normal.

But of course, he wasn’t.

The daytime accidents continued, and despite how many times he tried to overcome his anxiety about the toilet, he couldn’t do it. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack every time. So he just went in his diaper. It was so much easier. Enough that it made him wonder for half a second if he even wanted to be potty trained anymore. But he quickly dismissed the thought as soon as it came. Of course he did! He was a stallion, for goodness sake! He had to smack himself in the head for that one.

But things grew stranger still for Thunderlane, as more and more conundrums kept coming up. A few days after he had restocked on diapers, he had woken up one morning to find that he was sucking on his hoof. It had taken him a few seconds to realize this, and once he did, he pulled it out, disgusted with himself. Although there was a part of him that he completely denied existing that said that it was very comforting and he wanted to do it some more.

Despite his wearing his diapers to bed for some time now, he still liked to waddle around in them before he went to sleep. For some reason, he still found it funny, despite everything he had been through with them. That night was no different. He got himself diapered and powdered for bed, and waddled around his room. But as he giggled and laughed, something was different that time. There was a sense of… Curiosity? Innocence? That seemed to fill him. He looked at everything in the room differently. The books weren’t things to be read, they were things to be played with. The trophies and medals that adorned his walls were shiny things he could enjoy looking at. Without realizing what he was doing, he grabbed two hooffuls of books and threw them onto the floor. He started stacking them into a tower, not realizing even once that he was sucking on one hoof as he did so. When it was done, he giggled and clapped his hooves, before he knocked the tower down. Then, satisfied, he crawled into bed. When he woke up the next morning and saw it, he didn’t know what the hell he’d been thinking.

Despite this, he found himself growing more and more fascinated with foalish things. He couldn’t go to the market without staring longingly at toys, and when he saw a foal sucking a pacifier, he couldn’t help the hot stab of jealousy that pierced him. But still, he managed to tamp down the urge for a long time, until that too grew overwhelming. So he made a trip to Las Pegasus about three weeks later, and bought himself blocks, a few plushies, a rattle, a blue blanket that was softer than anything he’d ever felt, a set of stacking rings, some story books, and an adult pacifier. The one thing he didn’t get that surprised Mesma the most was a bottle. However, she thought that one might have been more explainable. As his foalish side was beginning to come to light, he may have subconsciously began to long for somepony to care for him and feed him. She smiled to herself. Well, it wouldn’t matter anytime soon, anyways. She would feed him, and more.

But one of her last steps would most definitely take longer. She would have to be exceedingly patient if she wanted this to work right. So the night after he bought his toys, she came to him. She whispered in his ear the two things she wanted, and then all she had to do was wait.

Over the next few days, things didn’t change as drastically for Thunderlane as the last ones. In fact, aside from the toys and pacifier, nothing really changed. At least, not that he could tell. That is, until one morning, when he woke up feeling unusual, not unlike that first wet morning. He sat up in bed, and his diaper was throughly saturated with urine as usual. But then he saw a wet patch on his bed.

Uh oh… He thought. My diapee leaked.

For a second he was so surprised by the patch on his bed that he didn’t recognize what he had just thought. When he did, he was understandably horrified. But he shook it off as an after effect of the odd dream he had had last night. In it, he had been playing in his diapers, sucking on his pacifier, and speaking very foalishly. But the difference was that he didn’t care. And there was a mare there… Her hair was pink and white, and she smiled at him lovingly, like he was perfect. He had called her Mommy. But that was just a dream. Nothing more than a fantasy. This was real life.

He was about to go and get changed when he realized that he needed the bathroom.

Gotsa pee pee. He thought. But before he could get here, his body reacted for him. His diaper, already leaking, seemed to not absorb any of his accident. It just ended up on the floor and on his hooves. And for a second, he was bewildered. Then, the feeling of being unclean was too much to bear and he found himself crying. He didn’t wail, though he wanted to, he just cried quietly and sniffled as he made his way to the bathroom. He looked at the toilet with smoking rage. Dumb potty! Why’d you hafta be so scary?! And he stripped himself of his leaky diaper. But then, he realized what he had thought. More specifically, the terms he had used in that thought. He was equal parts confused and horrified.

Did I just…?

And he had. But again, he chalked it up to the dream. He berated himself for a few minutes about going potty on the floor (and he had used that term, much to his chagrin), before cleaning up the stain, and then himself. As he put on a fresh diaper, his onesie, and his Wonderbolt Uniform, one thought stuck in his mind.

What is happening to me?

A Fine Mess

Author's Note

Another chapter! Yay! That makes five in one day! I'm excited to bring you all part of Mesma's story, or at least how she met Thunderlane.

I hope you all enjoy it! :pinkiehappy:

A Fine Mess

Thunderlane flew off to practice that day, scared out of his wits. He wasn’t sure he could go to work with things as they currently were, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t tell any pony what was going on with him. They’d think he was crazy, or laugh him out of the Wonderbolts for wearing a diaper. He could just picture the disgusted and angry looks on their faces, just before the symphony of laughter began. It made his face flush red just thinking about it. And if they could hear his thoughts, he would have been dead. More from embarrassment than anything else.

He shook himself from his terrified musings as he arrived at the grounds. The physical exercise helped him. It didn’t require any thought. The blissful and mind-numbing effects of not having to think about anything for a while calmed him. It relaxed him so much, in fact, that it relaxed his bladder, and he felt himself wetting. He almost blushed before he stopped himself. If he did that, they would know something was up. But the embarrassment remained. Usually he could hold it until it was time for a break or lunch. No such luck this time. But Celestia must have been smiling down on him that day, because Spitfire called for break early. Thunderlane thanked his lucky stars, and headed into a bathroom. He locked the door, and changed himself, hyperaware of the potty that seemed to be staring him down. He got his diaper and onesie on, then his uniform. Before he went out, he gave a glare to the potty.

Dumb potty. I don’t need you! Diapees are better than you are!

It took him a minute to realize what he thought, but when he did, he smacked himself in the face.

I have to stop thinking like this. I have to. He thought. He tried to readjust his thoughts through sheer willpower, and came out.

The rest of the day went by without any more unusual thinking on his part. At least, not at work. When he got home that day, his thoughts returned. He changed out of his uniform and onseie, as it was too hot to wear on a summer day like this. When he went into his room, he was immediately attracted to his toys.

Play time! He cheered to himself, and didn’t even think twice about it. He giggled, and was a bout to start building, when he realized something. Need Paci… He thought, and grabbed it from under his bed. He popped it into his mouth and happily started suckling. He started stacking his blocks as he nuzzled the plush blanket he had in his grip against his face. He suckled his pacifier and made a city. Several skyscrapers, a few solitary blocks for houses, and some stuffed animals for citizens. He had his stuffed bear attack the city, and was so engrossed in his playing that he didn’t realize a different bodily function needed tending to. At least, not until it had already begun.

Uh oh… Gotta go poopie. He made a mad dash for the bathroom, but it was in vain. He gave up, and waited for it to be over.

Thunderlane stood there, dumbstruck. He could not believe what he had just done. Though he could take some comfort in the fact that he had at least tried to get to the toilet. But the comfort was cold. Much like some of his diaper was beginning to get. It was the sensation of clamminess that drew him out of his shock. He shook his head in order to clear it and snap himself out of it. For the first time, he could feel the mess in his diaper. The way it rubbed against him felt disgusting, but the warmth was nice in contrast to the clamminess he had been feeling. He supposed that he hadn’t realized he had wet earlier either.

He was disgusted as he changed himself. The stink of his mess and the feeling of it made him want to cry. He almost did. But he kept it together until he was in a fresh diaper. Then, he disposed of his dirty diaper, and sat on his re-padded flank. Then, he cried. Not out of discomfort, but out of shame.

He could accept having accidents. And he could accept needing his diapers. But not for that.

No. No way. This was getting out of hand. But what could he do? No pony would understand this.

At least, no one he knew. But there were maybe some ponies who could understand.

The ponies in Las Pegasus at the Forever Foal store.

But could he do it? Could he actually admit that this was happening to him? And how would he explain it? His mind was reeling with a million questions, and he didn’t know how to answer them all. But he had to take a risk now. The reward outweighed it. He slipped his onesie on, packed his saddlebags with the necessary supplies, and took off for Las Pegasus.

Flying at his top speed, he made it there in a few hours.

When he got to the store, he looked around. It was empty, except for two mares shopping in a remote aisle, and he figured this was as good a time as any. He went up to the cashier, who smiled at him.

“Can I help you?” She asked.

“Hi. I uh- have some questions.”

“Okay. What product do you want to know about?”

“Uh… It’s it’s not a product I have a question about…” He was blushing furiously at that.

The cashier seemed to understand. “Let me get our owner. She may be able to help you.” She said. He nodded, and waited.

A white pony with a Pink and White mane came out of the back room. She smiled at him warmly.

“Hello, Miss…?”

“Mesma.” She said. “And you are?”

“Thunderlane.” He replied. “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

She mused on that for a minute. “Oh, wait! I know you! You were in the audience at my show in Ponyville!” She said.

“Your show?” He parroted.

She nodded. “Yes! I did a show in Ponyville. Flight show.” She specified. That was a lie, but it was what she had made him remember. What had really happened was that she had done a hypnosis show in the small town, and among her audience, he had been there. In his Wonderbolt uniform. Naturally, she had invited him up to the stage among a few other ponies, but he had proven the most influenceable among them. And in that moment, she realized that he was perfect for her idea. So she invited him backstage after the show, lowered his hypnotic resistance in a few short minutes, planted a few false memories, and sent him on his way.

Understanding dawned on his face, and he nodded. “I remember. You were really great. You own this place?” She smiled.

“Yes. And Thank you. What can I do for you?” She asked.

“I had, uh, some questions. Do you have somewhere we can talk?”

“Certainly.” She nodded. She took him to a storage room that was actually very spacious. “What’s on your mind?”

“I assume you get a lot of ponies here who use…” He couldn’t make himself say it.

“Diapers?” She filled in.

He nodded. “Do you… Do you ever get ponies who don’t know how their problems started?”

She nodded. “A few. Some of them just wake up one day and find that they’ve had an accident, and they want to be prepared.”

“Do they ever say what causes it?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s because of magic gone awry. Other times it’s stress related. Sometimes it just happens because of another medical problem, though they don’t find that out until later.”

“So it’s not as uncommon as I’m thinking?”

“Not at all. Why?”

“I… Well…” The way his face flushed told her everything and she smiled maternally.

“Thunderlane, accidents happen. And if you’re here, you’ve been taking care of them. I can’t tell you what to do beyond that. What happens next is up to you. You can see a doctor, you don’t have to. But it’s your choice.”

“Okay. I understand.” He said. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Please come again if you have any more questions.” She said.

“I will. Thanks.” He said, and flew off.

As she watched him fly, she smiled a sly grin. “I’ll see you soon, my little foal.”

Decisions

Author's Note

Chapter! Yay! Thanks to Mix-Up for catching a few typos in the last one. You rock, my friend.

This one didn't come as easily as the others, but I like where it went. I hope you all do too!

Enjoy! :pinkiehappy:

Decisions

After talking with Mesma, Thunderlane felt somewhat better about his situation. The embarrassment didn’t abate as much as he had hoped it would, but it had helped. The question that remained now was whether or not he wanted to see a doctor to see if this was all some sort of medical condition. He dwelled on that for some time on his flight home. Ultimately, however, he ruled it out. It wasn’t that he wanted to live in his ignorance of the situation and all the possible bad outcomes, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that if he did go to the doctor, he would have to take off his onesie, and risking the humiliation in town over his diaper bulge was too much for him. Reputations were slow to earn and easy to destroy, as he had learned over time.

The next few days after that conversation were deceptively normal. Well, not normal, but as close to normal as he would likely get with how he was. Occasionally he would catch himself thinking in foalish terms (and rightly berate himself for it), but otherwise there were no other problems, and definitely no other messing accidents. It was odd how keeping his diaper clean in that way made him feel proud. More than once he caught himself thinking that he was a big boy for staying clean. But every time he thought that, he would shake his head to clear it, tell himself that he was being ridiculous, and move on.

The one new habit that cropped up for him during that short time was sleeping with the blanket he had bought. Though to be fair, he didn’t see that in particular as being abnormal. Especially with how soft and cozy it was. That, he thought, was inconspicuous. He wouldn’t have to explain himself for it, really. A lot of ponies slept with blankets, especially when they felt like that. And if any pony ever saw, it was an easy thing to dismiss. Not like everything else he had been doing.

But, like all good things, the brief sense of normalcy came to an end. More specifically, it crashed spectacularly.

He had been playing with his toys one day, building a block tower. A stray block had fallen behind him, and he had turned to get it. His diaper, thick as it was, had brushed against the unstable tower, and was enough to send it tumbling down. When he turned and saw this, he had pounded his forehooves on the carpet.

“Dumb diapee! Why ou hafta be in da way! Is wuined!” His anger was so overwhelming for a moment that he didn’t realize what he had said. When he did, his eyes went wide, and his hooves went over his mouth.

To say he was ashamed or embarrassed was an understatement. The understatement of the century, actually. He was downright horrified with himself. He thanked Celestia that no pony had been here to hear him say that. Thinking in foalish terms was one thing, but speaking in them was a whole other hoofball game. The tentative sense of peace he had felt after talking with Mesma about parts of his situation had been obliterated in one foul swoop. There was no way in hell it was coming back anytime soon.

When the initial horror had passed, he became angry. More specifically, he ended up throwing a rather age appropriate temper tantrum. He let out a cry of both anger and anguish, threw himself on the floor, and started kicking and flailing his hooves, as the initial angry cry dissolved into sad sobs.

He stayed like that for a long time. When the kicking, pounding, and flailing, had wiped most of his anger from his system, he sat up, sniffling. He wiped his eyes with one hoof, slowly pulling himself together. When the tears finally ceased, and he could think rationally again, he was bewildered by his actions. What had come over him? It was like some alien baby had flown into his brain and taken over his body. The incident scared him enough to begin thinking that he needed to tell somepony what was going on. And not just parts of it, everything.

But who could he tell? It wasn’t like he could just spit this out to anypony. The judgement that would be forced upon him by Ponyville would be too much to bear. The question came again. Who could he tell?

Certainly not his parents. They’d think he was doing it to be lazy. And he couldn’t tell Rumble either. There was no way he was going to risk losing his baby brother’s idolization of him over something that he likely couldn’t help with.

He could try talking to Twilight, but he didn’t feel like he knew her well enough to divulge this sort of thing. Even though he logically knew that she would likely be solely scientific on the matter.

The idea of a doctor cropped up again, but if he didn’t have another medical problem underlying this, it would be a waste. And how could his foalish behavior be explained? There were too many holes in that.

And then… There were his teammates. They’d known him long enough to know that even though sometimes he was lazy, he’d never take it this far. But the idea of them laughing at him still stuck deep within his mind. Though, he mused, they likely wouldn’t laugh if they thought it would make him sad. And they were all pretty open minded. Plus, his need for possible extra bathroom breaks could be explained. But what if he lost his job? Flying with the Wonderbolts had been his dream since he was a kid. What if he lost that? Then what did he have? His former life. It would all go to shambles, just as Wind Rider’s had.

No.

No. It wouldn’t come to that. Wind Rider had been disgraced for his actions, of which he was in complete control. This was something he couldn’t control, and even if he did lose his job, he wouldn’t lose it in disgrace because he didn’t do anything wrong. And his teammates would be there for him. No matter what.

That was the thought that settled it for him. Tomorrow, he was going to talk to Spitfire, and pray that she would understand.

Assurance

Author's Note

Chapter happened. Pretty easily this time. I liked it. Way to go, RD for your words here.

Enjoy! And don't murder me for the cliffhanger! :pinkiehappy:

Assurance

As he walked toward his teammates alongside Spitfire, Thunderlane was unnerved. Though not as much as he had been during his initial talk with Spitfire. He figured that since somepony else knew now, and was on his side for that matter, it could only get easier from here when he told his story. Still, that didn’t stop his ever-present anxiety from taking hold of his mind and creating demented fantasies about the worst possible outcomes happening when he found out. A few times it got so bad that he almost wanted to start sucking on his hoof, even stopped mid-step at a few points, but he made himself keep going.

He caught sight of his teammates. A few of them were practicing some flight tricks, while the others spectated, and gave them tips on how they might improve. Thunderlane almost stopped right there and high tailed it out of there. Spitfire however, seemed to sense that and gave him a look that stopped him. He wasn’t exactly sure what to call that look. It was commanding, but a little reassuring too. And it made him stay.

Spitfire cleared her throat, and the ponies who were flying came down and joined the ranks of their teammates, ready for whatever instruction their captain had to give them. She gestured for Thunderlane to follow her, and he did, until they stood in the center of the line.

“Listen up!” She said in her most commanding voice, and they all stood at attention at that voice. Perhaps because of a reflex drilled in from their time at the academy. “Thunderlane and I have an announcement, and when we say it, you will all be quiet until the end. If you have any questions, they go through me. Understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” They all said in unison.

She looked over to Thunderlane, who blushed, and looked at her, as if asking for help on how to start. She gave a nod of support and encouragement and he took in a shaky breath, before beginning, using most of the phrasing he used when he spoke to his captain. As the tale wove on, there were a few times where he couldn’t make himself say something, and Spitfire jumped in and grabbed hold of the reins to help him. When the harder admissions had passed, he finished telling the tale up to what had happened this morning.

“I wasn’t- wasn’t ready to tell anypony about this. But I think I had to in case something happened that I couldn’t control. I just didn’t want to be treated differently…”

He trailed off and looked down at the ground, blushing madly and unable to meet anypony’s eye. Spitfire turned to her teammates. “Questions?”

For about fifteen seconds, maybe more, no one said anything. Then, Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. Spitfire looked at her. “Yes?”

“It’s not a question, ma’am. May I speak?”

“Go ahead.”

Rainbow Dash stepped forward a bit. “Thunderlane, we wouldn’t judge you for this. If it’s something you say you can’t control, we believe you. I think we all just wish that you would have said something sooner.”

“How could I?”

“What?”

“Do you have any idea how I feel? The shame? The anger? How could I tell somepony when I feel like such a failure?”

“‘Lane, that’s when you need to tell somepony the most.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t fail.”

“Are you kidding? I fail all the time! Have you forgotten my first day here? Or how about when I was turned by Discord into being disloyal to my friends? Or when I pranked every pony in town so much that they all did one mega prank on me? I’ve failed more times than I can count, and it just made me into the awesome pony I am today. It was because I talked to somepony about it that I was able to stop feeling like one.”

Her words seemed to sink in, and he slowly looked up at her. There was nothing mocking in her expression. Just compassion.

“How did you make that feeling stop?”

“Simple: I Shared it. When you keep it to yourself like that, it’s like carrying a giant rock. It gets heavier and harder to hold as time goes on. But when you share the load, it’s a lot easier to deal with because you aren’t doing it on your own.”

The words made sense, and his ears drooped a little at how right she was. He felt bad for not saying something sooner.

As if she could sense this, Rainbow put a hoof around him. “It’s okay, ‘Lane. We all make mistakes. But we grow from them. That’s why they’re there.”

He nodded slowly, and smiled a wan smile. “Thanks, Crash.”

She laughed a bit. “Anytime.”

He finally dared to look over at the rest of his teammates, and they were all smiling at him. The ball of anxiety that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach suddenly loosened and dissolved. They accepted him. His fears were all for nothing, and there was cashmere comfort in that.

“Thank you. All of you.” He said.

They all nodded, and Spitfire grinned. “Alright then. Now that that’s over, Wonderbolts, lightning formation!”

“Yes ma’am!” Said everypony, and they began to fly up into the air. And Thunderlane, he felt free as a bird. His problems may not have gone away, but now he didn’t have to face them alone. That itself was a gift.

The rest of the practice went smoothly, with no behavioral slip ups on Thunderlane’s part. The only rule implemented that day was him taking off during practice for a change. But this change was different than the others. It wasn’t as embarrassing, and his anxiety about the toilet (he had thought in that term instead of the other one and had been so proud of himself for it) had lessened a great deal.

When he went home, he didn’t feel a tightening in his stomach, or an overwhelming sense of shame. Instead, he felt more at peace than he had in a long time. When it came time for bed that night, the sense of shame in his diapers was greatly reduced. And he fell asleep happy.

That night, at three AM, Mesma came through the window. She saw the blanket, the pacifier, and the diaper, and the toys on the floor. And she knew it was time.

She gently prodded Thunderlane by the shoulder. He groaned.

“Wake up, sweetheart.” She crooned. “Mommy’s here to play.”

Bonding

Author's Note

I had way too much fun with this chapter. It was just pure joy to write. Special thanks to Pip and one of his OC's for inspiring a bit of this fluff.

Hope you Enjoy! I sure did! :pinkiehappy:

Bonding

Thunderlane shifted onto his other side, and finally opened his eyes. Mesma was there, smiling at him. He blinked groggily, and then looked at her again. Recognition flashed through his eyes, and for a brief moment, she thought she may have made a mistake in waking him. But when he broke into a huge grin, she knew she hadn’t.

“Mommy!” It was a happy giggle. She gave him a maternal smile.

“Hey there, baby boy. How are you?” She asked, giving him a hug.

“I good!” He said, hugging her right back.

“Good!” She grinned. “Does Mommy have a wet little colt on her hooves?” She cooed.

He moved a little and then nodded. “Uh huh. I wet.” He said.

“Good boy!” She sang. “Let Mommy give you changies and get you into a fresh diapee.”

He laid back, and Mesma pulled out a diaper bag, seemingly from out of nowhere. But that was not so. She had planned for this. The last time she was in here, she hid it from him, underneath the bed, and put a few commands in so that he wouldn’t see it. She didn’t worry about that one not taking hold. With Thunderlane’s obvious embarrassment about this and clear avoidance of anything to do with the topic, he would have given into that one straight away. Anything to make the problem disappear. She pulled out changing supplies and started changing him while he absently suckled on his hoof, his pacifier having fallen out when he had first stirred awake. She hummed a little tune to him as she changed him, balling up the used diaper, cleaning him off, and replacing it with a new one. The sound of her voice relaxed him, and he almost drifted off to sleep again. Mesma noticed this.

“Now, now, don’t go to sleep yet, sweetie. It’s not nappy time yet. It’s time for playing.” She scolded lightly. At the word “play”, his eyes lit up.

“We play?” He asked excitedly.

“Of course, sweetheart! Mommy loves playing with her little foal.” She crooned.

Thunderlane sat up, though it was made somewhat difficult by his thicker new diaper. Mommy always put him in those. She wanted him to be safe. It made him smile. “What we play?” He asked.

“What do you want to play?” She asked kindly.

“Aminals!” He said. He got out of bed so quickly that he almost fell over, and he toddled over to where he kept his toys. Mesma grinned, and watched as he plopped down on his padded butt, dumping out a box of toys. He got out a fluffy teddy bear and a bunny, and started acting out a story between them, while Mesma watched smiling. He looked so happy, so carefree. That’s what made her happy. Seeing that.

Soon, however, he got bored with that, and she offered him a new game. A rousing game of Peekaboo. She covered her eyes. “Where’s Mommy?” She cooed. Then she uncovered them. “Here I am!” She called. She watched as he giggled and clapped in delight, and repeated the process several times. When it got to the point where it looked like his stomach was starting to hurt from laughing, she gave him a break. “What do you want to play now?” She asked.

“Blocks!” He cheered. He got out the blocks. He started stacking them one by one, a look of such intense concentration on his face that it made her want to laugh, but she held back. After a few minutes, it was done. “Mommy, look! I makeded a tower!”

“I see that, baby! You did such a good job!” She ruffled his mane, and he giggled and clapped. “I bet you can make it even bigger!” She said. His eyes went wide.

“Really?! Ya think I can?”

“Oh, I know you can, smart boy!”

He nodded excitedly and started trying to stack more on. Unfortunately the tower itself wasn’t built very skillfully, and was wobbly at best. When he tried to stack a third one on top of what he already had, it came crumbling down. During the crash, the highest block up, a head taller than he was sitting down, landed with a thunk! On his head. He blinked for a second, and then when he realized what had happened, his lip started to quiver and he burst into tears. Mesma rushed over to him.

“Oh honey, it’s okay. You’re okay. Show Mommy where it hurts.” She said. He pointed to where the block had impacted with his head. She gave it a gentle kiss. “There we go. All better. No more ouchies.” She said.

Thunderlane sniffled. It didn’t hurt as badly anymore, but he was still sad! Mesma took notice of that too.

“I know what will make you feel better.” She said. Thunderlane looked up at her questioningly. “How about Mommy feeds you a nice baba of milk?” She said. He nodded, and Mesma grabbed an empty bottle from the bag and was about to go to the kitchen to fill it, but she felt hooves wrap around her leg. She saw Thunderlane looking up at her pleadingly. It was so dark and scary in the room all alone! “You don’t want me to leave?” He shook his head. “You can come with me, silly boy.” His eyes lit up, and he got up from the floor, and toddled beside her. She filled the bottle and heated it up, before heading back to his room with him. She sat on the unmade bed, and he clambered up on it too, wanting to be near her. “Into my lap.” She said. Her voice gentle but stern. He didn’t hesitate to obey. He leaned back in her lap, letting her cradle his head, and she put the nipple into his mouth.

It took him a second or two, but he got a good rhythm going and was soon nursing peacefully. She hummed to him, reveling in the closeness and cherishing the moment. All too soon, the bottle was empty, and the moment was over. Thunderlane was barely awake as the warmth of the milk, his full tummy, and his exhaustion conspired to make him sleepy. Mesma smiled at this.

“Okay, sleepy head. It’s time for nappy bye.” She cooed. He nodded, just barely. She stood up and moved him to lay on his bed and gave him his pacifier, tucked him in, giving him a gentle kiss to the forehead. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart. I love you.”

“Ni Ni, Mommy.” He sighed before drifting off to sleep. Mesma smiled, and watched him for only a few more minutes before leaving for the night.

Somepony Else Was Pulling Strings

Author's Note

I don't know what I had thought this chapter was going to be like, but this was not it. Most of it was unplanned, and wrote itself. I was not expecting this. I like it, don't get me wrong, but still. Wow. Just wow.

I hope you guys enjoy this and hopefully alleviate my mixed feelings on where it went. :pinkiehappy:

Somepony Else Was Pulling Strings

Thunderlane awoke the next morning with his usual grogginess, but he woke up with a smile on his muzzle. Last night’s dream had been so nice. Somepony looked at him with no disgust about his condition, or judgement for that matter. They just played with him and took care of him. It had been comforting. He sighed, but was brought out of his contentment by a wet diaper. His face scrunched up. That was his least favorite part of mornings. He sighed, and got up to take it off. He made his way to the bathroom, where his changing supplies were under the sink now. Ever since telling his teammates about what had been going on with him, he had become somewhat less paranoid about hiding it. At least, that part of it. The pacifier and bottle were still hidden in the hatch under his bed. But the changing supplies were all here. And it made things easier on him that way. He took a shower, put himself in a fresh diaper, got on his onesie and uniform, packed his saddlebags, and he was ready to go to work.

He flew there without incident, and decided to head to the mess hall since he hadn’t had breakfast yet. He got some eggs, pancakes, and some fruit, along with milk, before sitting down to eat. As he ate the rest of it he got a look at the fruit. It seemed so big. He wondered if it would be easier to eat mashed. He shrugged, and decided to give it a shot. He mashed it all up and started feeding himself. He got into it enough that he got some of it on him. Thankfully a napkin was there to catch it. Kind of like a bib. I should get one of those… He mused as he ate. Normally that kind of thought would horrify or terrify him, but he was too involved with his breakfast to care. He ended with the milk. As he took a sip, he thought about the dream from last night.

Mommy’s moo moo was better. He thought. That time he caught his mistake, but for some reason he justified it. Maybe partly because he didn’t want to sully his memories of the dream. Unconsciously, he wrapped his mouth around the small carton’s opening and started suckling. It wasn’t the same and he pouted to himself. It had tasted better in his bottle. But he didn’t have any more time to dwell on it as he saw the clock strike 8:45. He had practice in fifteen minutes. He downed the rest of his milk in one go, threw away the carton, put the dirty dishes and tray in their rightful places, and headed off.

He arrived five minutes before practice was scheduled to begin. He chatted with Soarin and Rainbow Dash about inconsequential things, and then Spitfire came down, and they all started stretching. After that there were a few drills and endurance tests, which all of them passed with flying colors (pun intended). Then, it came time for their practice of their routine.

They began with the Icaranian Sun Salutation, in honor of the Princess, who was expected to attend their next show in Canterlot. Then they did a barrel roll. They made a star formation, and used smoke to make it look like it was bursting forth. They flipped, dived, and tumbled through the air with the grace attainable to only the best of fliers. Finally, it was finale time. The Wonderbolts formed themselves into the shape of a lightning bolt. Rainbow Dash was at the very bottom of the bolt. She broke apart from the pack, streaking downward as fast as she could. The rest of them filled in the gap where she had been, then moved as one down toward their teammate, but much slower. In a burst of color, she performed a sonic rainboom.

For a second Thunderlane was focused on formation, but when he saw those colors, his mind went blank. All he could think about was touching them. He broke formation, and started flying toward the pretty colors. He reached out to touch them, but his hoof went right through them. That made him unbelievably sad. His lip started to quiver and he sniffed.

Spitfire, who from her place at the top of the lightning bolt, had been supervising the formation, saw Thunderlane break pattern. For a half second, she thought he might be going to get changed, but when she saw him try and touch the aftermath of the rainboom, she knew something was up. Her ears, highly trained and perhaps overly sensitive to noise, caught the sniffling sound. It didn’t take her more that a second or two to figure out that the Thunderlane before her was not the one she knew. And for a short while, her shock numbed her actions. It was one thing for Thunderlane to tell her about having foalish behavior, but to actually see it was like seeing a cheap remake of a piece of art and then seeing the actual thing hanging in a museum. It was so much more real. The shock pretty much wore off for her when she saw his eyes well up with tears. She sighed. She was not dealing with Thunderlane, the Wonderbolt, who was the biggest jokester she knew. She was dealing with a foal. And she had been around them enough at signings and events to know how to deal with them. She landed next to Thunderlane and softened her expression, taking off her aviators glasses.

“What’s the matter?” She asked. Her voice was kind, interested.

“I wanna touch the pretty colors!” He sniffed.

“I know you do. But that’s why there are crayons, right? So you get to touch them. And you get to make cool pictures with them.” She empathized.

He sniffed again. “Yeah…”

“I bet you can draw some really cool stuff.”

He smiled a little. “Yeah. I like making birds.”

“Birds, huh? Is it because they fly like you?”

He nodded excitedly now. “Yeah! I like things that fly! Mommy says I’m a good flier!”

That stopped Spitfire short. Thunderlane had expressly told her that he hadn’t told anypony about this just yesterday. And with how far away his family lived and how late he had left last night, there was no way he could have told them. “Mommy?” She parroted. He nodded with vigor.

“Uh huh! She says I’m really good.” This gave Spitfire an idea.

“You think you can draw me a picture of her?” She asked. He nodded, practically bouncing up and down. She looked to her teammates, gave them the signal for a break, and then took Thunderlane to her office, where she kept some different colored pens. About fifteen minutes later, the picture was done. A pink and white maned pegasus mare was on the paper, labeled “Mommy” in a child’s clumsy writing.

Spitfire had possibly gotten a glimpse into who was doing this to him. Now the question was, who was she?

Thundersitting

Author's Note

This chapter went a place I did not expect, but that's a good thing. I liked it.

I hope you guys like it too! :pinkiehappy:

Thundersitting

Much as she wanted to begin an investigation on her own terms, Spitfire decided not to do anything yet. She would not do anything until she was sure Thunderlane was in control of himself again. And judging by the way he was scribbling on papers, he was not present at the moment. She would wait it out until he was himself again. However, she did not know how this had come to happen, or what exactly she could do to get him back, so she needed to act fast. She went over the loudspeaker to ask Soarin to lead their practice. She would stay with him until he was back. She had made a promise that he could use this office for whenever he lost control of himself, but she had assumed, perhaps foolishly, that his older self would still be in there when it happened. But she saw the truth now. He was not himself. He acted very young, like a colt, or even a foal. And she couldn’t just leave him alone. She wouldn’t do it to a foal, and she certainly wouldn’t do it to a teammate.

This then left Spitfire with a bit of a challenge. She knew about foals. She knew enough on how to take care of them from occasionally watching some distant cousins on her mother’s side. The tough part for her was boxing up her captain and drill sergeant sides of herself. It was much easier to do with actual foals. The size, the diapers, everything about that was easier than this. Because even though he was currently a foal on the inside, he still looked like her teammate.

But this wasn’t her teammate, she told herself. Not right now, at least. She struggled internally with herself for at least a good five minutes. Enough time to give Thunderlane time to finish his drawing. He held it up for her to see.

“Look! That’s me flying with you!” He said proudly. Spitfire eyed it. It was crudely done, a mass of scribbles that were only discernible because of the colors in the suits they wore, and their Manes. But one look in his proud and hopeful face, and she softened. No way she could crush his dreams. She may be a lot of things, but she was not cruel. Definitely not cruel enough to crush the fragile ego of a foal who looked so pleased with himself. She sat down beside him.

“That’s a really good picture.” She complimented. She saw his eyes sparkle, and he let out a small squeal.

“Really?!”

She found herself smiling, and nodded. “You got all the colors just right. It’s awesome!”

He gave her a sunny grin. “Tanks!”

She nodded again. “What other things do you like to do?” She asked. She figured she might as well learn what she could about this part of him now, because when he got back to his senses he would likely be too embarrassed and shut her out to say anything later.

“Like flying, and my toys, and paci, and doing stuff with Mommy!” He said.

And there was that word again. Her interest was piqued now. “What do you do with your Mommy?”

“We pway. And she helps me fly better and gives me hugs and feeds me.”

“Really now?” She asked.

He nodded happily. “Yeah! Last time she gave me moo moo.”

Spitfire didn’t know how exactly she knew that he was talking about milk, but she did. “That was nice of her.”

He nodded. “She nice. She the best Mommy ever.” He grinned. Spitfire saw a chance and took it.

“Does Mommy have another name?” She asked.

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “M-“ He started to say something, but there was fog, suddenly clouding his mind. More specifically, clouding her name. “I dunno.”

Spitfire nodded in understanding, but she was suspicious. He had been about to say something. She knew it. Whoever was doing this to him, they were smart enough to make sure he couldn’t reveal them. Or her in this case, she supposed.

Thunderlane, however, was oblivious to her suspicions, and started chewing on his hoof. It took her a minute, but Spitfire noticed this and tried to pull it out.

“Hey now, that’s not good for you.” She said. “That’s what pacifier’s are for.” The last part popped out of her mouth before she realized what she had said. He looked at her and frowned, pulling his leg from her grip.

“Paci at home.” He said, and he looked mournful. She didn’t want to admit it, but the look really got to her.

She made a decision on impulse, one that she would later thank herself for. “How about I take you home?” She asked. He nodded. “Can you fly there with me?”

His wings buzzed. “Yeah!”

She smiled, and nodded. She left a note for Soarin to find, likely within the next hour as he knew he was to report to her when he was running practice. Then, she took Thunderlane home.

She followed him when they got there, through the home and into his room. There were some toys on the floor, but other than a blue blanket on the bed, nothing really seemed amiss there. Thunderlane started to smack his lips, which she took to mean he needed something in his mouth before he started to chew or suck his hoof.

“Where’s your pacifier?” She asked.

He pointed to the bed. “Under there.”

She nodded, and went to get it, when she spied a diaper bag. She pulled it out.

“Is it in here?” She asked, looking inside.

“In where?” He asked, tilting his head to one side in confusion.

She blinked. “In here. In this bag.”

“Wha bag?”

“You don’t see it?”

His eyes suddenly lit up. “Oh, oh! Are we playing pretend? I wanna play, I wanna play!” He cheered.

Spitfire was still processing what she had just seen, but her mouth still moved. “Let me find your pacifier first.”

It took some doing, but after moving the bed, she found the soother. She handed it to him and he stuck it in, suckling quietly. But his eyelids were getting heavy fast. He yawned.

“Tired?” She asked. He nodded. That flight home was longer than any one he ever took with his Mommy! “Maybe you should take a nap.” She suggested. She needed time to figure this out.

He nodded, and climbed into bed. He snuggled his blankie and shut his eyes.

“Ni ni.” He cooed.

“Night.” Said Spitfire, as she exited the bedroom and moved to the living room.

Why could he not see the bag she held? It confused her to no end. She sat on the couch and tried to list off everything she knew. Somepony was making him act this way. They made sure he didn’t know her name. And he couldn’t see the bag even when it was right in front of him. She racked her brain for what seemed like hours, trying to find a solution that fit. Then, out of the blue, an idea hit her.

It was all beginning to fit together.

Deviations

Author's Note

Agggggh. YES. I have been planning this from the start and it feels so nice to get our rising action point in the plot going. I really enjoyed writing this. It was a lot of fun for me.

Enjoy this and get ready for a feelsy next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

Deviations

Mesma considered herself to be a lot of things.

She thought herself caring, sometimes selfish, a definite attention hog, a hard worker, a strict owner, and a sometimes desperate mare.

She considered herself to be all of these things, and she was. But one thing no pony could call her was stupid.

She was a pony who planned things, down to every detail. She was calculating, crude, and very decisive when she decided she wanted them, and was very careful on how she went about getting it. She planned for loopholes, and occasionally disasters, but sometimes things happened that she didn’t plan for. When that happened, she often gave into impulses.

This was one of those times.

When Thunderlane awoke later that day, he was back in his adult headspace. He was notably embarrassed to see Spitfire in his home, and could only vaguely recall what had happened earlier in the day. Spitfire assured him that nothing bad happened, that he had behaved himself perfectly well, and that she had just come with him to make sure he didn’t get hurt. Thunderlane had breathed a little easier after that.

Spitfire had taken off shortly afterward. She had definitely considered telling Thunderlane her suspicions, but in her infinite wisdom, she knew it would be no good. If whoever did this to him was smart enough to have him forget their name, he likely wouldn’t be able to identify her. She considered telling him about the possible conclusion she had come to- that all of this had been some sort of hypnosis, but she decided against it. She wouldn’t say anything to him until she was sure. He had enough to worry about. She took her suspicions back to the Wonderbolts base, gathered all of them for a meeting, and showed them the crude drawing Thunderlane had made, and the rest of what she thought was happening, and asked her fellow teammates to keep an eye out off the clock for whomever this was. They all agreed to do so.

They were, after all, a kind of family.

With that, Spitfire had dismissed them, and began her own sort of investigation.

After Spitfire left him, Thunderlane found himself in need of changing, and was about to go and do so, when he suddenly felt a mess being pushed into his diaper, and groaned. He wanted to slap himself. It seemed that he had lost control of his bowels too. As he changed himself, his feelings of anger, disgust, fear, and panic congealed into one singular thought:

Could my life get any worse?

Well, he was about to learn. As the saying went, be careful what you wish for.

As he prepared for bed that night, he climbed in. He had his pacifier, his blanket, his diaper. Everything he could think to need. And so he went to sleep, unknowing and unaware of what was to come.

That night, at three in the morning, Mesma came through her window, prepared with one last command. But before she could speak it to him, he stirred. He blinked open his eyes and smiled at her.

“Mommy!” He squealed. She laughed and hugged him.
“How’s Mommy’s favorite little colt?”

“I good! I had lotsa fun today!”

“Really? What did you do, sweetie?”

“I got to color today with Auntie Spits!”

The admission disturbed Mesma, threw her off her game. “Auntie Spits, huh?”

He nodded excitedly. “Yeah huh! She nice. She makeded me feel better when I was sad.”

“Really? Does she do that often?”

“Nuh uh. This was the first time. She let my fwiends practice when she took care of me.”

“Your friends?”

“Yeah! Dashie, An’ Soarin, Fleetfoot, and everypony else.”

This was a dilemma Mesma was not anticipating. She had made sure every step of the way to work in that he wouldn’t tell anyone what was going on. But it looked like he had managed to disobey her and rebel a bit, and this made her angry. But she would not let it show on her face, because even with this setback, her plan would still work. She would just have to go undetected for a while. And she knew where to do it. Looks like she would have to combine the last two steps of her plan into one.

“That sounds, great, baby! Hey, guess what?”

“Wha?”

“Mommy has a surprise for you.”

“Really?!”

She nodded. “Yep. Hop on Mommy’s back.” She said and got down so he could.

He did so, bouncing in excitement and still holding his blankie.

Mesma took off from the ground and out the window, as Thunderlane squeaked happily. He liked looking down below. From up where they were, the houses below looked like toys he could play with. The thought made him giggle. Maybe Mommy would get him some toy houses to play with. That would be nice.

They flew for a long time, so long that Thunderlane almost fell back asleep a few times, but kept himself awake because he didn’t wanna fall that far. Just as he was gearing up for a tantrum, Mommy began to descend. She landed in a beautiful meadow, with flowers, and ivy curling up the sides of a house.

“Where are we?” He asked.

Mesma smiled at him as she let him off of her back. “You’ll see.”

She opened the door to a kitchen and dining room, that had all the amenities anypony could want. Oven, stove, pantry, refrigerator, sink, and of course cabinets, along with a bottle warmer that sat on the counter. The dining room was fairly normal, with chairs and a vase with a daisy in it. The only notable deviation from something average was an adult sized highchair. Mesma led him through the living room, which was decorated only by a couch, coffee table and bookshelf, and down a short corridor. She turned to first door on the left, unlocked it with a key, and then let him inside.

It was a nursery. With a crib big enough to fit him, a changing table big enough to do the same, a playpen with plenty of room for him and piled high with toys, a rocking chair, a closet full of clothes, and a toy chest that offered even more wonders for him to enjoy. As Thunderlane’s eyes went wide and he took it all in, Mesma whispered to him.

“Welcome home, sweetheart.”

Aftermath

Author's Note

So sorry for the late update guys! It's my Mom's birthday today so I have been trying to work on this and spend time with her at the same time, and it took a lot longer than normal to piece this chapter together because it didn't want to come out.

I hope you all enjoy it! :pinkiehappy:

Aftermath

Thunderlane looked around in amazement at the new world around him. For a moment, in his shock, he didn’t do anything. Then, he spoke.

“This mine?” He asked.

Mesma nodded. “This is all for you, my little colty. No pony else.”

Her words sank in, and his eyes lit up and he started jumping up and down for a moment or two, before he lunged at her and wrapped her in a bear hug.

“Tank you, Mommy!” He squealed. She grinned and hugged him back. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now, you go on and play.”

He nodded excitedly, and waddled in. She watched him make his way to the toy box and begin rummaging through. She kept a close eye on him. She didn’t want her little colty getting into trouble. She sat in the rocking chair and watched.

After an hour of playing with many toys and scattering them all over the floor, he went over to her. “Mommy, I firsty.”

“Do you want some milk?” She asked.

“Uh huh. Moo moo.”

“Come here.” She said, and he climbed into her lap. She leaned back and he nestled in, until he was face to face with one of her teats. His instinct took over, and he started trying to nurse. Mesma almost stopped him. She didn’t want to disappoint him. Her milk had dried up a long time ago. But then, she remembered reading somewhere in one of the many books she had picked up over the years that with enough stimulation, she could likely lactate again.

For now, it seemed that he was using her more as a pacifier, and he wasn’t fussing. So she figured it was fine. She felt the once frantic suckling slow to only an occasional one, and she knew he was asleep. It was time to put in the final command.

“Listen to me, my sweet little colt…”

She whispered it into his ear, and then put his pacifier in, set him in his crib, tucked him in, and went to bed herself.

When Spitfire woke up the next morning, a strange feeling played at her. A voice whispered unease into her mind, telling her that something wasn’t right. She tried to brush it off, but it persisted, as she got up, as she showered, as she dressed for work, as she ate. She assumed, perhaps naively, that this was just a result of what happened yesterday.

She flew to work, into her office. Yesterday’s investigation of hers had yielded no results. She showed the picture to other pegasi, the folks in Cloudsdale, residents of Ponyville, and got nothing. She figured that whoever was doing this wasn’t from the area. So she would have to take her search to the next level. But she didn’t know where to begin. She tried to push that from her mind, as it was almost time for practice.

She flew to the practice area, but when everyone lined up, she realized that Thunderlane wasn’t there.

Alarm bells went off in her head. This was what that feeling was. Something was seriously wrong here. She thought that maybe, there was a small chance that he had woken up in his foalish state, but even then, she had serious doubts. Thunderlane was a lot of things. He could joke, he could be lazy, he could be forgetful. But he never missed practice. Not one time in two years. And she knew he wasn’t sick. Because she had just seen him yesterday and he had been healthy.

She knew she had to act quickly. “Practice is cancelled for today, but all of you, come with me.” She said it so fast that it took the rest of them a second to catch up. But they didn’t have time to ask her any questions, because she took off almost right after. Rainbow was the first to follow, then Soarin, then Fleetfoot, and the rest.

They landed at Thunderlane’s house, and Spitfire didn’t bother with knocking. She busted the door down. If he got mad at her for it later, she would take it. She needed to know that he was okay.

“Thunderlane?” She called. The living room and kitchen were empty, but she had thought they would be at that point. There was only one place she thought he might be. His bedroom. She didn’t have to break down the door that time. It was unlocked. Her eyes scanned the room. The bed was unmade and empty. The room looked halfway decent, except for some toys scattered around. But the one detail that really made her anxiety skyrocket was that the bedroom window was wide open, and was big enough to fit a pony through.

She cursed very suddenly, loud enough to startle the rest of her teammates. “He’s gone.” She said afterward, and felt a colossal wave of guilt wash over her, so deep she thought that she might drown in it. It came entwined with a sense of failure.

Why did I leave him alone? I should have known better. I should have stayed. She lamented privately to herself for a few seconds before she quashed the feelings and thoughts under a tremendous amount of anger.

“Spread out. Search for clues.” She demanded. They didn’t hesitate to follow her orders. Not when she sounded like that. Very angry Spitfire had reared her head, spewing flames directed at whomever did this. All of them shared a cohesive thought that they did not want to be this pony when Spitfire got her hooves on them.

It was Rainbow who eventually found the hatch under his bed. Spitfire had been busy checking the toys for any indication of where they had come from at the time, because she knew they hadn’t come from here. No way Thunderlane would ever let some pony catch him with things this foalish, right in the head or not.

Rainbow Dash had gone through the supplies in the hatch, emptying it out. There was a pacifier, a bottle, and some extra diapers. But nothing to indicate where they had come from. The hatch was dark enough that she almost missed a tiny balled up piece of paper that was in one corner. She pulled it out, and unraveled it very carefully.

“Captain!” She called. Spitfire went over, and Rainbow Dash had handed her what she had found.

It was a receipt, from a store called Forever Foal in Las Pegasus, for the purchase of a onesie. Spitfire assumed he had kept it in hopes of returning it someday. But maybe this place could tell her a thing or two, and finally give her some answers.

“Wonderbolts, move out! We’re headed to Las Pegasus!”

The Hunt

Author's Note

I enjoyed this. Took a few turns I didn't see coming, but I was happy with it.

I hope you all enjoy it too! :pinkiehappy:

The Hunt

Spitfire and the rest of her team flew off to Las Pegasus that day, and in a few hours, they had landed. They had to ask a few times for directions on how to get to the street on which the store was located, but after a while they found it.

It was midday, and the sun was out, beating down on the residents of the city. All of the Wonderbolts were incredibly hot and understandably tired after their long journey, but they had had a singular mind in this case. They would not rest until they knew where their teammate was. Spitfire led the pack, carrying the receipt. She entered the store first, and the rest of her team trailed her. They looked around. There were diapers, toys, clothes, accessories- literally everything one could need to take care of a foal, though it was all sized up for adults. For a moment, the other Wonderbolts stared in awe, but Spitfire was unfazed. She marched right up to the front counter. The cashier smiled at her.

“Welcome to Forever Foal. My name is Gentle Breeze. Can I help you?”

“Yes ma’am. We’re trying to find a friend of ours, and we thought he might be here. Have you seen him? His name is Thunderlane.” She said. She pulled out a photo of him she had taken from his room. Gentle Breeze eyed it for a moment.

“I recognize him. He’s been here before, but I’m sorry to say I haven’t seen him here in a while. My apologies.”

Spitfire nodded. “That’s alright. Thank you.”

“I hope he’s okay, wherever he is. He always seems so nervous when he comes in here. The only time he didn’t seem nearly as bad was after our owner talked to him one day.”

“Owner?”

Gentle Breeze nodded. “Yes. Miss Mesma.” Gentle Breeze pointed to a picture behind her, of a mare with pink eyes and a pink and white striped mane. Spitfire’s eyes widened, and she immediately dug around in her saddlebag and pulled out the drawing Thunderlane had done of his “Mommy”. It was her. There was no doubt in her mind that it was her.

Spitfire smiled. “Can I talk to her?” She asked.

Gentle Breeze shook her head. “I’m sorry, no. She’s on sabbatical at the moment.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“I’m afraid not, Miss.”

Spitfire nodded. Already, her sharp mind had formulated a plan. “Thank you very much for your help, ma’am.”

“You’re welcome.”

With that, Spitfire took off into the boiling heat. She knew exactly what to do. The Wonderbolts gave a collective sigh at having to go back out into the heat, but they followed her. They would not leave when a teammate was in danger. Together, they all flew, until they reached Ponyville.

They landed in front of Twilight Sparkle’s castle, and it was Rainbow who knocked on the door.

The front door opened, by Twilight herself in fact, and she smiled at her friend.

“Rainbow! What can I do for you.”

“We need your help. Please.” Said Rainbow. Twilight looked further to see all of the Wonderbolts standing there. She nodded.

“Please, come in.”

Twilight led them to the throne room and they all sat down. Twilight in her throne, Rainbow in hers, and the rest of them in others.

Spitfire spoke up. “We need you to help us to find property records on a pony named Mesma.”

Twilight blinked. Of everything she could have been expecting to come out of her mouth, that was definitely not it. “I’m sorry?”

“Twilight, Thunderlane has been foalnapped! We went to his house to try and find him because he missed practice, and he wasn’t there! And the window was open! We know something happened to him, and our investigation and some of what Thunderlane told us before he was gone leads us to believe that it was Mesma. Please, we need to find her and him before something really bad happens!” Rainbow said.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. She wasn’t sure how to reply. But she knew Rainbow. Rainbow wouldn’t give up until she got what she wanted. Twilight nodded. “The records would be in Canterlot. I’ll see if I can have the Princess send them to me.” She said, before calling for Spike.

The young dragon hurried into the room and took a letter to Princess Celestia for Twilight, who told of the current situation and whom all was here. With a breath of green fire, the letter was sent. Now all they could do was wait.

Thankfully the wait didn’t last very long. Spike soon belched out a letter from the princess that contained property records for the mysterious Mesma. Spitfire was the one who opened the scroll and started reading.

“She’s got three properties. The Forever Foal store, a house in Las Pegasus, and one in the countryside of Trottingham.”

“We know the store is out. We already looked there.” Said Soarin.

“And there’s no way she’d risk taking him to the city with how he was.” Added Rainbow Dash.

“That leaves Trottingham.” Said Spitfire.

Rainbow looked to Twilight. “Twi, do you mind if we eat something here? It’s gonna be a long, long flight and we need to refuel.”

“I don’t mind at all.” She said, smiling. “Anything to help.”

So they spent the next hour and a half hour resting and eating. They tried to prepare for what they might find, but they weren’t all too sure what that would be. They didn’t know her end game.

Finally, it came time for takeoff. They all thanked Twilight for her hospitality and help, and then they left, promising to bring Mesma back for some well earned justice.

The flight lasted for most of the day, and they were all exhausted. A few times some pony would ask for a food break or a bathroom break, And the bathroom breaks were the only ones that Spitfire actually listened to requests for. But when they did stop, she was extremely irritable, often snapping at them to hurry up and get their flanks moving. It was somewhat akin to her behavior as a drill instructor at the academy, but this was different. Her disciplinarian style at the academy was for motivation of cadets. But this, this was genuine anger, raw anger, and unfiltered anger. They all took comfort in the fact that the anger wasn’t truly directed at them, but it was still somewhat frightening nonetheless.

By the time they made it to Trottingham at the address listed, the sun was beginning to set.

Spitfire tried the front door and was surprised to find it unlocked. Must have thought no pony would come around here. She thought. She entered the home, the team at her tail. Upon entering, she knew Thunderlane was here. The adult high chair was freshly cleaned, and there were dishes in the sink. Spitfire went further in, and down a hall, looking for signs of him. She found one by hearing. It was a childish giggle.

She opened the door to see Thunderlane banging a stuffed toy that jingled on the floor, pacifier in his mouth, and a diaper on his flank.

Confessions

Author's Note

THE MESMA CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE AND IT WENT WAY BETTER THAN I IMAGINED.

I am so happy with this. I enjoyed it.

I hope you all do too! :pinkiehappy:

Confessions

After the momentary shock wore off, Spitfire stepped up. “Thunderlane?”

The pegasus in question turned to look at her for a minute, then went back to playing.

Spitfire stepped in further. “Thunderlane, it’s us. Are you okay?”

She got a glance, but that was it, and her frustration was mounting. “Thunderlane!” It wasn’t a shout, but it was angry.

Thunderlane stopped playing, and looked at her, eyes wide and lip trembling. Spitfire caught herself. “Thunderlane, I-“

But it was too late. He burst into tears. Suddenly, a mare was blocking Spitfire’s view of the regressed stallion.

“Back away from my little colty.” It was Mesma. But instead of the smiling, happy mare that Thunderlane had drawn, this one was angry. Her mouth was drawn in a scowl and her eyes raged with anger. “How dare you come into my house without permission and upset my baby?” She hissed.

Spitfire was so angry she didn’t know where to begin picking that apart. “How dare I? How dare you regress a stallion without his consent, and foalnap him!”

Mesma growled. “I didn’t foalnap anyone. I made this place for him, took him here to play, and he wanted to stay!”

“That doesn’t make what you’ve done any better! He wouldn’t have even wanted to stay here if you hadn’t brainwashed him!”

“And how do you know what he wants!” She shot back. “You don’t care! None of you do! Not enough to give him all of this!”

“I wouldn’t give him what he didn’t want in the first place!”

“You don’t know anything about him or about me! You have no idea how much I didn’t want to do this, but I didn’t have a choice! And now that it’s done I am not letting anypony take him away!”

“There’s always a choice!” Spitfire raged.

“Not for me!” Her voice broke. “I never got a choice.” She put a hoof over her mouth to cover it.

“That’s a lie!”

“No, it isn’t.” Her voice was much calmer as she tried to restrain her sobs. “I have a story for you. Maybe it will make you understand this better.” She said.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Spitfire crossed her hooves.

“Well you need to. Because this isn’t as black and white as you want to believe.”

Spitfire just huffed. Mesma took that as her cue to begin.

“I grew up in Canterlot. My parents were nobles and I often went to social gatherings with them. I even met the princesses a few times. When I found my special talent, I used it to put on shows for my friends. I became a traveling showpony, doing shows around Equestria. One night in Las Pegasus a stallion came up to me after my show, and asked me out for a drink. I said okay. A few drinks later, the night was a blur. But I woke up the next morning in his bed. And a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I was excited. I had always wanted to have kids, and for me, it was the best time of my life. But one day, I realized I was bleeding. I was having a miscarriage.

The pain was so intense that I couldn’t leave my home. So I ended up delivering that baby alone. And when it came out, I held it. It was so small. So helpless. And it was dead in my arms. I think I cried enough tears that day to flood Equestria. And for a long time, I stayed in my sadness. Then one day, I found out about the Adult Foal lifestyle from a newspaper clipping, and I thought that maybe that was what I was missing. So I gathered my bits and opened Forever Foal to help ponies who had this side of them or were discovering it. But it still wasn’t enough to make that void go away.

I realized what I wanted was another child. A foal of my own. So I went to the doctor. But he told me that if I tried to get pregnant again, the baby would die because my body couldn’t handle it. So I tried different things. I Tried a surrogate mother- my eggs didn’t take. I tried to adopt, but they said that because I travel, I wasn’t fit to be a mother. I tried getting some unicorns to do magic on my body so that I could concieve, and that failed. I tried natural herbal remedies to help me, but that didn’t work either. So I tried to fill that void with something else. I read to kids, I volunteered at hospitals, I did free shows at orphanages, but it just wasn’t enough. And I realized that the only way I was going to become a mother was to make a foal of my own.

I did shows all over, looking for the right one. And then one day, at a show in Ponyville, I saw him. Thunderlane. I invited him to the stage, and he took to my commands remarkably well. And I knew in that moment it had to be him. So I invited him backstage, slipped in a few commands, and I waited. I waited for them to take hold. I felt bad about what I was doing, I really did. I still do to a degree. But no one would help me. I begged, I pleaded, and no one did anything for me. So I had to do this myself.”

“You could have asked the princesses for help.”

“I DID!” Mesma raged. “I begged them to overturn the adoption verdict, but they said that they couldn’t. I asked them for help in finding a child, and they turned me away. So don’t you dare talk to me about them! I tried! I tried everything, and it wasn’t ever enough! And now all that’s left is an empty shell of who I used to be… Who I wished I could be.” She ended with a whisper and hung her head.

She left a speechless Spitfire and wordless Wonderbolts lost in her words.

Choices

Author's Note

Suuuuper early chapter today because I get the feeling that I won't want to do crap later on today. So early chapter! Yay!

I was not sure what would happen really in this chapter. I wasn't sure how Spitfire would react, or how Mesma would. I knew how it would end, but otherwise, it happened very slowly. I kinda like where it went though. With their reactions I mean. Normally I wouldn't hesitate to think that Spits would cause bodily harm, paint the walls with blood, all of that. But with all of what went on, I like to think she would have tried to be the bigger pony here. To be what Mesma could not be. So yeah. This happened.

Hope you all enjoy this! :pinkiehappy:

Choices

Spitfire stared at Mesma for a very long time. Her mind tried to twist itself around her story, how she lost a child, tried everything to get one, and was forced to do everything she had done. But Spitfire could not accept that this was forced entirely. She suspected- no, she knew that that had not been the only option here. She stepped forward.

“You had a choice, Mesma. You always had a choice. You could have been upfront with Thunderlane. You could have told him what happened. He might have helped you willingly. But instead, you took away his choice. You didn’t have one, and you took away his too.”

“There wasn’t a choice for me. There never was! I tried everything. I went through hell. And you’re right. I could have asked him. But do you honestly think he would have consented to this voluntarily?! Furthermore, do you think that it’s easy remembering and sharing all of that?! It’s like trying to cut yourself open and harvest your own organs and still expecting yourself to be alive after! There were times that I thought about trying to kill myself just to make it end. That kind of pain is unbearable. I tried to let go of that burden, tried to share it, but nopony would help me.”

Spitfire hesitated before speaking. “I will.”

Mesma looked up. “You’ll what?”

“I will help you.”

Mesma laughed, a bit hysterically. “How in Equestria will you help me?! You hate me! For all I know, your idea of helping me would end me up in a bloodied heap on the floor!”

“No, I wouldn’t.” She answered immediately. “Because I am not like you. I don’t use force on other ponies. I don’t do things without their consent. You’ve spent your entire life trying to fill the void that your child left. I can’t say I completely understand. But I know some of what you feel. Because you created that same void when you took Thunderlane. The Wonderbolts aren’t just a team. We’re a family. And we protect our own.”

“You never answered my question: How will you help me?”

“I won’t personally do anything to you for foalnapping my teammate. I can’t guarantee the princesses will see it as kindly as I do. And to that point, Princess Twilight already knows what you’ve done. I don’t doubt that the rest of the princesses will be informed, if they haven’t been already. But, I’m getting off track here. I will talk to the princesses, I will ask them to be more lenient with you. I will attempt to convince them to give you the help you need. I think you haven’t been showed a lot of mercy, and because of that you don’t know how to give it. I will give it to you, if you reverse everything you have done to Thunderlane, and come with us.”

For a moment, Mesma looked torn. She wanted forgiveness, she wanted mercy. But could she give up the one thing she always wanted in exchange? She looked at Thunderlane, who had, in the course of the conversation, calmed down, and started to play. The innocence, the joy in his expression, it filled her with light. But it made her wonder- was that light inside of her good? Or was it just some deformed and demented version of the darkness within her. She saw the darkness, the selfishness inside of her. It was clear to her, despite her somewhat tainted mindset.

Then, finally, she looked at Spitfire. “Promise me that you’ll take care of him.” She looked close to tears. “He gave me the only true happiness I have had in years. Please, promise me.”

Spitfire nodded. “I promise.”

Mesma took a second to compose herself. She wiped the tears in her eyes away with a swipe of the hoof. “Okay. I will go with you.” She said. “But I will not reverse any of this until we are safely away from this place. It is sacred. I can’t… I can’t do that here.” She said. Spitfire looked her in the eyes and saw honesty in them.

“Fine.” Spitfire said. She looked to Thunderlane. “Can he fly in his current condition?”

Mesma nodded. “Yes, he can.”

“Get him flying, but cover him up first.” It was an order. Mesma was not one for taking orders, but this time, she followed. She covered him with a onesie, one of the ones that matched his coat, then went over to Spitfire with him. The Wonderbolts flanked the pair, front, back, sides, and once they began flying, one above and below. So Thunderlane didn’t fly away and Mesma didn’t escape.

By the time they all got back to Ponyville, It was around seven in the morning. All of the Wonderbolts were exhausted. They landed in the outskirts of town. Spitfire turned to Mesma.

“It’s time.” She said.

Mesma looked dreadful. Absolutely stricken. She took one look at Thunderlane, who saw her glance and grinned at her. Her heart swelled, overflowing with love for him, and she pressed one last kiss to his forehead. Thunderlane giggled.

“Mama.” He cooed. It was a knife to the heart for her to hear that. That word that she had never been called, but always longed for. She had to bite back a sob. She pulled herself together almost at once.

“Mommy loves you.” She said. Then, she said the reversal word. “Watermelon.”

Thunderlane’s eyes went blank, and then, he was back. They all saw it in the fire in his eyes and the way his stance changed. He looked around.

“What happened?” He asked, completely confused.

“We’ll explain on the way.” Spitfire said. “Come on, we’re going to the castle.” She said. Thunderlane nodded. They all took off together, and headed to the castle.

Rainbow Dash was the one who eventually knocked on the door that morning.

And then, the door opened, and Mesma’s heart sank. In that moment, she knew that life as she knew it was over.

And she was right.

Sentenced

Author's Note

I did not know what all would happen here. It happened, and I only knew part of this. Some of it surprised me. Some of it did not.

I hope you all enjoy this and think that Justice was served! :pinkiehappy:

Sentenced

When Thunderlane heard what had happened, he was angry.

No, that wasn’t right. He was infuriated. Somepony had taken away his free will, his joy. She had taken, in essence, his stallionhood. A small part of him that he did not realize was there seemed flattered that he had been chosen from every pony else, but he would not see that. Could not acknowledge it underneath his rage.

They now stood in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood there, eyes casting down judgement as they listened to the story told to them by Spitfire, by Twilight, by his fellow Wonderbolts. They did not ask him about what happened. At least, not yet. Before they did, they asked Mesma for hers.

At first, Thunderlane held to his anger, pressed it close to him like a heating pad in the winter. But as her tale wove on, expelling her loneliness, her frustration, her upset, her desperation, he felt it lessening. He was still angry. But his anger was no longer a raging inferno. It had become a bonfire. It still warmed him, lit him up from the inside, but did not encircle him like a Hearth’s Warming wreath. He did not condone her actions. Not by any means. But now that he understood her motives, saw her darkest moments, he couldn’t help a pang of sympathy from pinging through his chest. He listened to her as she apologized for her actions, acknowledged that she could have done things a better way. And then, listened as she said she would accept whatever punishment the Princesses thought correct.

And then, Princess Celestia turned to him. “What do you have to say about what happened, Thunderlane?” She asked him.

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. His mind drew a blank on what to say. His memory was unhindered now, and he could remember every moment he had spent with her. But she never hurt him. She never tried. She only tried to take care of him.

He tried to remember his mother. Had she ever showed him that kind of attention, that kind of caring? She had played with him, disciplined him, and met his physical needs. But he could never remember her holding him in any way, showing him any affection beyond the occasional hug. She still cheered for him during his races, sure, but she hadn’t ever been so emotionally open- not with him, his father, or his little brother. Even as a foal. In an odd sort of way, Mesma had somewhat filled a void of his own.

“Princess Celestia,” He began, “I am angry about what happened. I’m angry that Mesma did what she did without my consent. I’m angry that her actions could have cost me my job.” He said. He paused for a moment, thinking everything through, and then he spoke again. “But she never hurt me with bad intentions. She only ever tried to care for me. She actually did a lot of things for me that my own mother never did, and to an extent it was kind of nice, not having to be in charge for once. And even though I’m angry, and hurt, and so many other things, I think I understand. Desperation makes ponies do crazy things. I think that kind of rejection seriously destroys ponies. If I had been rejected from the Wonderbolts I don’t know what I would have done. One rejection is bad enough, but she dealt with several major ones in a row. And honestly, I don’t know how she’s still standing here, because I don’t know if I would be after that. I think she deserves some mercy. Because maybe if some pony had shown that to her, like Spitfire did, maybe she wouldn’t have done this in the first place.”

The Princess gazed at him for a long moment. Perhaps searching for something in his eyes. Then, she seemed to make a decision, and nodded. Then, she looked at Mesma, who’s face was both bewildered and contrite.

“Mesma.” Princess Celestia’s voice was commanding. “I have heard everything that you and the rest of these ponies have had to say. And I have something to say too.” She paused. “Despite what you may think, princesses do make mistakes. We are not immune to failure. And I made a mistake with you, by sending you away. I cannot help but feel partly responsible for what happened here. Perhaps if I had tried harder to help you, none of us would be here. So I apologize to you for failing you, and to you, Thunderlane, for my hoof in your troubles.” Celestia’s face was apologetic.

“Thank you, Princess.” Said Thunderlane. Mesma was too stunned to speak.

Then, the Princess’ face grew serious again. “However, Mesma, you have committed serious crimes. I charge you with brainwashing, coercion, and an attempt at foalnapping. I have not decided upon the full extent of your punishment. However, I have decided upon part of it. You are hereby sentenced to two hundred hours of community service. I will decide later on what you will do and where you will serve it. To add to this, you will be sent to Tartarus for-“

“Princess, wait!” Thunderlane interjected. Celestia looked surprised at the interruption, and he hurriedly went to explain himself. “We promised we would get her the help she needs. She can’t get help from being locked in a cage. I think that would only make it worse for her, with no pony around but other criminals. If she’s sent there, if she’s isolated from everypony else, how will that help her?”

Princess Celestia stared at him for a second, perhaps seeing something in his expression. And then, she spoke again. “Thunderlane is correct. I will not sentence you to Tartarus. I sentence you to mandatory counseling, psychiatric monitoring, and evaluations. That is all for the sentencing.” She said.

That made Spitfire raise a brow. “Is there something else, Princess?”

“I wish to speak with Mesma alone.”

Spitfire nodded, and she, Thunderlane, the rest of the Wonderbolts, and Twilight, all left the room.

Thunderlane did not know what happened after that. And he would not know for a long while. But when he flew home, he felt satisfied that Justice had been served.

Epilogue

Author's Note

It's the last chapter. Wow. I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you guys have enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

Enjoy the last chapter. I know I did. :pinkiehappy:

Epilogue

After the sentencing, Thunderlane resumed his life. He went to work, he cooked, he cleaned. He did everything he had done before anything had happened to him. And for a while, he felt normal. But after a while, he realized that he wasn’t normal anymore. Everything was different now. He felt like something was missing inside of him. He often remembered the way Mesma treated him. The kindness, the attentiveness, the care. He missed that.

That was not to say he missed her. That was inaccurate. He missed that kind of care. Somepony being open with their emotions, showering him with attention, with kindness.

There was a subtle shift in his behavior. He was a bit more reserved now, a bit quieter. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t still laugh or joke, that he didn’t still do his job well. But it was there. The other Wonderbolts were busy with their performances, brushed his behavior off as readjusting to his life without all of that.

However, Spitfire did not think that was the case.

So one day, after practice, she pulled Thunderlane into her office. He sat down, and said, “What’s up, Captain?”

“That’s what I want to know. What’s going on with you?” She asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Something is bothering you, ‘Lane.” She said. “And you’re not talking about it anypony else. So talk to me. I’ll listen.”

Thunderlane shifted a bit in his seat. He wasn’t sure how to begin. Spitfire saw that he needed some prompting.

“Is it about what happened?” She asked.

He found himself nodding. “Sort of. Not… It’s not about her. Not exactly. I mean… I just…” He was flustered.

“Take your time, and calm down.” Spitfire advised.

He nodded. Swallowed. “When she… When she took care of me, it was…” He paused. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom. She was always nice to me, treated me well and all that, but I can’t remember her ever being affectionate with me, or with Rumble. She hugged us sometimes, but that was about it. And then she came and did all of this. And even though it was sick, and twisted, and wrong, and pretty much every bad word you could use, She made me feel loved. Cared for. Never got that feeling from anypony before. And to be honest, I miss it.”

Spitfire was quiet, taking in his statement. Then: “Do you miss the other part?”

“NO. No. Well, I mean, I don’t miss the baby stuff. That’s just way too far. But sometimes I miss the playing. Like, just not having to worry about everything, you know? That part was nice.”

She nodded. “We all need to relax somehow. It’s a good coping skill.”

“Coping skill? When did you become a doctor?”

“I didn’t. But I did end up reading some books about psychiatry.”

He blinked. “What? Why?”

She paused for a moment. “I just wanted to get inside of her head. See what made her tick.”

“That’s… a little disturbing.”

“Is it? Trying to understand why a pony did what she did so you can try and make sense of what happened?”

“…I guess not.”

There was a silence between them. It was comfortable though. Not awkward. Thunderlane shifted. Then he spoke. “I think I’d better get-“

“‘Lane.”

“What?”

Spitfire hesitated. Then, she said what was on her mind. “If you need somepony to make you feel like that again, help you relax, but without the baby stuff, talk to me. I can help. I want to help.”

He blinked a few times. “You? Why?”

Spitfire paused. “I’m not sure. It’s not because I feel like I have to, or anything like that. It’s… Maybe it’s more about having seen something terrible happen to someone you care about.”

He nodded. “Are you sure?”

She nodded in turn. “Definitely. It was kinda nice to be a foalsitter instead of a captain.”

He smirked a little. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

And with that, Thunderlane exited.

It took him a few weeks to get the courage to ask Spitfire to help him out. But when he did, and she said yes, it was a weight off of his shoulders. She came by his house that day and played with him. She wasn’t as open about her emotions as she had been. But she talked to him kindly. She played what he asked. She gave him a few hugs, too. He couldn’t explain why, but he felt so safe.

A few months after that day, the day Spitfire had played with him, he had become who he once was again. He laughed, he joked, and he was loud and boisterous again. Playing with Spitfire had helped him to make sense of his emotions. And he was content with them.

Then, one day he had been down in Ponyville, visiting a friend in a café, and he stopped to get a copy of the Ponyville Express. And on the front page, he saw her. Mesma.

She was smiling, looking down at a foal in her arms. The way she had looked at him. He read the article. Her community service sentence had been served through helping addicted foals stabilize before they went on to new families. He also read that she now had a foal of her own. It didn’t specify the gender. But he liked to think it had been a boy. That she had a son to care for. And despite his anger and upset, he smiled for her. Because she was doing well. She was helping others. And he had chosen to forgive her a long time ago.

He threw the newspaper out when he was done reading, and flew up to the Wonderbolts Grounds. Maybe he could get some time with Spitfire today. That would be nice. He smiled at the thought, and he went away, happy with his lot in life again, and the ones of his friends. As bad as everything had been, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was meant to be.

Maybe, it was just what he had needed in the end.

To Tell The Truth

Author's Note

This was a tough chapter. And not for the reason you think. I wasn't sure how to write Spits here because I've written her as a Mama in two other fics, so I wasn't sure I could be objective with her. But thanks to advice from my Mom and Pip, I managed.

I hope you guys enjoy all the nervous Thunderlane feels, along with a bit of fluff for good measure! :pinkiehappy:

To Tell The Truth

Thunderlane was beyond nervous. He was bordering on terrified. It was the next morning, and he was approaching Spitfire’s office. His heart was beating out of his chest, his body was sweating, and it definitely wasn’t because of the summer heat. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He had to do this. Had to. It was now or never, and if things were going to get worse as they had been, it had better be now. He knocked on the door, trembling. A muffled “Enter.” Was the response he got. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Spitfire was sorting through papers when he came in.

“What is it Thunderlane?” She asked.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “C-Can we talk?”

Spitfire glanced up at him, and saw the expression on his face. Thunderlane never got nervous like that. Never. Not even before a show for royalty. She set down her pen. “Sure. Take a seat.” She said.

Thunderlane sat down, nervous. He could have sworn that the crinkling from his diaper, despite being covered by the onesie and his uniform, was audible enough for her to hear. But she gave no sign of hearing anything. His anxiety shot up. He tried to form words, but nothing would come out. Spitfire waited patiently for him to begin.

“I have to t-tell you something. I haven’t told anypony, because I’ve been too s-scared.”

“Alright.”

“Something has been happening to me. I don’t know why, or how, or who did it. But I can’t stop it. And I don’t know what to do, but I thought I should tell you in case it affects me, on the job.”

“Tell me.”

He took a deep breath in. Then, he started explaining in what could only be described as word vomit. It just kept coming out, for the most part in one seemingly large breath. Every single thing that had happened. He told her the stories of his accidents, the foalish behavior, the change in his thought process. All of it. When he was done, he had to suck in a breath to replace his air supply.

The entire time, Spitfire listened. Being a sort of drill instructor at the Academy gave her the advantage of being able to stay stone faced, no matter what she was listening to or what her emotions were about it. There were a few moments in the story, like when he mentioned the diaper changes in the bathrooms on the grounds or his occasional change in word choice, where she almost widened her eyes in surprise, but she didn’t. When he was done, she looked at him.

His eyes were wide and obviously scared. He was sweating bullets. He kept fidgeting in his seat and when she met his eye contact he looked away with a blush.

Looking back later, it was the blush that sold it for her. Thunderlane was a lot of things, but easily embarrassed was not one of them. It took a lot to make him sweat. If she had at all considered this a prank or a stunt, which in the beginning she very well might have because of his joking personality, she didn’t now. For a few seconds, maybe more, she mused on what to do. Then, she removed her sunglasses.

“I believe you.” She said. He looked at her, and for a second, the most faint spark of hope lit his eyes.

“Y-You do?”

“Even you, Thunderlane, would not joke about something like this.”

“Are you-“ He had to swallow hard to ask his question. “Are you gonna kick me out?”

“Kick you out?” She repeated. He nodded nervously. “Why would I do that?”

“Because of this.”

“Why would I kick out a member of our team for something they cannot control? I wouldn’t.”

“Because I’m a liability.” He answered for her.

“Man, you’re thicker than cement. I just said I wouldn’t do that.”

“But I’m-“

“What you are is a member of this team. And this team is like a family. You don’t abandon family, especially when things are hard.”

“Are you- Are you sure?”

“Does this look like the face of some pony who isn’t sure?”

He hesitated for half a second. “No…”

“Then stop worrying about it. You have enough to deal with right now, anyways.”

He laughed a little. “Would you be able to stop worrying if you were in my horseshoes?”

She conceded. “Fair point.”

For a moment, there was comfortable silence between them.

“So what happens now?” He asked her.

“I think first we need to make a few rule exceptions for you, under the circumstances.”

“Okay. What?”

“If you need to change, you can go. No questions asked.”

“Alright.”

“Second, if you feel like you won’t be able to control your emotions or other things like that-“ He knew she was indirectly referencing his foalish behavior. “You can also leave. If you need to, you can come into my office until it passes.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s the closest place besides the hospital and restrooms.” She said, “And given what you told me, I think the restrooms are out.”

He blushed again. “Yeah. I really hate it in there.”

“I can tell.”

“Any other rules?”

“Not that I can think of. But we can add them as we go.”

“I really hope whatever this is doesn’t last long enough that we need to.”

“I hope so too, for your sake.”

He nodded. “If that’s everything, I think I should-“

“There’s one last thing.” She interrupted.

“What?”

“I think the rest of the team needs to know.”

“WHAT?! Are you serious?!”

“As I’ve ever been.”

“Do you know how hard it was for me to tell just you?! How will I ever face them again if they laugh me down?!”

She looked him right in the eye. “Do you think they’d laugh if I didn’t? If I was there?”

“Well…” He hesitated.

“Let me answer that: No.”

“But I can’t tell them! It’s so… embarrassing.”

“We don’t keep secrets on this team.” She said, resolutely.

“I- I can’t-“

She put a hoof up and he went quiet. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can do it with you, or even for you if you need.”

“You what?”

“You heard me.”

“But why?”

“Because, being a team leader means taking care of ponies and being just that- a leader. You lead by example. If I don’t make a big deal out of it, they won’t either.”

“But-“

“And if they do, they’ll be the ones in diapers.” She said pointedly.

Thunderlane couldn’t help but giggle at that. Spitfire actually lost control of her stone face for half a second, and worried that maybe she had just witnessed a bit of his foalish side come out, and that he was already slipping, but a look into his eyes said that he was still there.

“So, are you ready?” She asked after giving him a second to recover.

He nodded, and they walked out of her office together.