Author's Note

Chapter happened. Pretty easily this time. I liked it. Way to go, RD for your words here.

Enjoy! And don't murder me for the cliffhanger!

Assurance

As he walked toward his teammates alongside Spitfire, Thunderlane was unnerved. Though not as much as he had been during his initial talk with Spitfire. He figured that since somepony else knew now, and was on his side for that matter, it could only get easier from here when he told his story. Still, that didn’t stop his ever-present anxiety from taking hold of his mind and creating demented fantasies about the worst possible outcomes happening when he found out. A few times it got so bad that he almost wanted to start sucking on his hoof, even stopped mid-step at a few points, but he made himself keep going.

He caught sight of his teammates. A few of them were practicing some flight tricks, while the others spectated, and gave them tips on how they might improve. Thunderlane almost stopped right there and high tailed it out of there. Spitfire however, seemed to sense that and gave him a look that stopped him. He wasn’t exactly sure what to call that look. It was commanding, but a little reassuring too. And it made him stay.

Spitfire cleared her throat, and the ponies who were flying came down and joined the ranks of their teammates, ready for whatever instruction their captain had to give them. She gestured for Thunderlane to follow her, and he did, until they stood in the center of the line.

“Listen up!” She said in her most commanding voice, and they all stood at attention at that voice. Perhaps because of a reflex drilled in from their time at the academy. “Thunderlane and I have an announcement, and when we say it, you will all be quiet until the end. If you have any questions, they go through me. Understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” They all said in unison.

She looked over to Thunderlane, who blushed, and looked at her, as if asking for help on how to start. She gave a nod of support and encouragement and he took in a shaky breath, before beginning, using most of the phrasing he used when he spoke to his captain. As the tale wove on, there were a few times where he couldn’t make himself say something, and Spitfire jumped in and grabbed hold of the reins to help him. When the harder admissions had passed, he finished telling the tale up to what had happened this morning.

“I wasn’t- wasn’t ready to tell anypony about this. But I think I had to in case something happened that I couldn’t control. I just didn’t want to be treated differently…”

He trailed off and looked down at the ground, blushing madly and unable to meet anypony’s eye. Spitfire turned to her teammates. “Questions?”

For about fifteen seconds, maybe more, no one said anything. Then, Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. Spitfire looked at her. “Yes?”

“It’s not a question, ma’am. May I speak?”

“Go ahead.”

Rainbow Dash stepped forward a bit. “Thunderlane, we wouldn’t judge you for this. If it’s something you say you can’t control, we believe you. I think we all just wish that you would have said something sooner.”

“How could I?”

“What?”

“Do you have any idea how I feel? The shame? The anger? How could I tell somepony when I feel like such a failure?”

“‘Lane, that’s when you need to tell somepony the most.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t fail.”

“Are you kidding? I fail all the time! Have you forgotten my first day here? Or how about when I was turned by Discord into being disloyal to my friends? Or when I pranked every pony in town so much that they all did one mega prank on me? I’ve failed more times than I can count, and it just made me into the awesome pony I am today. It was because I talked to somepony about it that I was able to stop feeling like one.”

Her words seemed to sink in, and he slowly looked up at her. There was nothing mocking in her expression. Just compassion.

“How did you make that feeling stop?”

“Simple: I Shared it. When you keep it to yourself like that, it’s like carrying a giant rock. It gets heavier and harder to hold as time goes on. But when you share the load, it’s a lot easier to deal with because you aren’t doing it on your own.”

The words made sense, and his ears drooped a little at how right she was. He felt bad for not saying something sooner.

As if she could sense this, Rainbow put a hoof around him. “It’s okay, ‘Lane. We all make mistakes. But we grow from them. That’s why they’re there.”

He nodded slowly, and smiled a wan smile. “Thanks, Crash.”

She laughed a bit. “Anytime.”

He finally dared to look over at the rest of his teammates, and they were all smiling at him. The ball of anxiety that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach suddenly loosened and dissolved. They accepted him. His fears were all for nothing, and there was cashmere comfort in that.

“Thank you. All of you.” He said.

They all nodded, and Spitfire grinned. “Alright then. Now that that’s over, Wonderbolts, lightning formation!”

“Yes ma’am!” Said everypony, and they began to fly up into the air. And Thunderlane, he felt free as a bird. His problems may not have gone away, but now he didn’t have to face them alone. That itself was a gift.

The rest of the practice went smoothly, with no behavioral slip ups on Thunderlane’s part. The only rule implemented that day was him taking off during practice for a change. But this change was different than the others. It wasn’t as embarrassing, and his anxiety about the toilet (he had thought in that term instead of the other one and had been so proud of himself for it) had lessened a great deal.

When he went home, he didn’t feel a tightening in his stomach, or an overwhelming sense of shame. Instead, he felt more at peace than he had in a long time. When it came time for bed that night, the sense of shame in his diapers was greatly reduced. And he fell asleep happy.

That night, at three AM, Mesma came through the window. She saw the blanket, the pacifier, and the diaper, and the toys on the floor. And she knew it was time.

She gently prodded Thunderlane by the shoulder. He groaned.

“Wake up, sweetheart.” She crooned. “Mommy’s here to play.”