Pinkie Nonsense

by Sonic_Applejack2005

First published January 5th, 2019 20:10

Pinkie Sense. It was the one thing that Twilight Sparkle couldn't wrap her head around no matter how hard she tried and how much data she gathered. Eventually, even she had to accept it as an anomaly and trust it, and it was for all the better for both her sanity and her being. However, one day when Pinkie and Twilight are out on a walk, something happens. Something bad.

And Pinkie Pie was none the wiser until everything was already over.

Chapters

The Sense of Forgiveness

The Sense of Forgiveness
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Pinkie Nonsense

The Sense of Forgiveness

Pinkie Pie and Twilight were walking through Ponyville together. It was a bright and sunny day, but there was also a cool breeze that balanced out the heat. It was perfect. The soft, slightly burnt grass beneath their hooves rustled crisply as the two friends matched each other's pace.

"So Twilight, what are we doing today?" Pinkie asked excitedly, hopping up and down as they continued to press forward.

The purple princess laughed, turning to Pinkie. "Funny you should ask, Pinkie! I was thinking we could start with a trip to the library and organize the books, then maybe visit the castle of friendship before finding some food and watching Starlight and Trixie's show tonight!" Twilight closed her eyes in satisfaction. She'd planned the whole day out the night before, and it sounded even better out loud than it did in her head.

"Oooh, I love it!" shouted Pinkie. She hopped around Twilight, doing flips in the air. She couldn't wait to spend her day with Twilight, just the two of them doing whatever made Twilight happy.

Twilight giggled as Pinkie continued hopping around. "All right, Pinkie. Calm down, we haven't even sta--" The princess never got a chance to finish her sentence as a massive rock hurtled down from the sky and smashed her in the head, bloodying her face and knocking her unconscious immediately. Twilight lay on the ground, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

Pinkie stared in horror as she calmed down and took a good look at her friend. "Oh fuck, that bitch dead!" she screamed, spazzing out on the street. She yelled and yelled for somepony to help, and ponies began to gather around to see what the commotion was. Pinkie bent down over the princess and gently manouvered her into the recovery position. She looked around, and though a crowd had gathered, nopony stepped forward to help. "WHAT ARE YOU LAZY FUCKERS DOING!?" she shouted. "FUCKING HELP ME. TWILIGHT IS DYING!"

Eventually a group of Ponyville paramedic ponies came and took the princess, speeding off to a hospital and leaving Pinkie on her knees. Her gaze was fixed to the floor where Twilight have been struck. She didn't know how long she sat there, wondering how things went wrong so fast. Why didn't my Pinkie sense warn me? The next time she looked up, the sun was setting and everypony around her had left. Defeated, Pinkie slinked back to her house and booked an emergency gathering with the rest of her friends for the next day.

"A big fucking rock dropped down from the sky on Twilight's head and I couldn't help her!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, crying into Rainbow Dash's lap.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Rainbow Dash's laugh echoed throughout the second floor of Sugarcube corner, where the meetup had been scheduled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" screamed Mrs. Cake from the floor below, making all five ponies flinch.

Pinkie frowned. "Rainbow Dash, why are you laughing?" she asked. The pegasus rolled her eyes in response.

"Well, duh! Because I think it's funny how that egghead is in the hospital now!"

"Oh yes, and her fashion sense was horrific. Maybe being confined to some dull hospital will make her appreciate the subtleties and beauty of style more," chimed in Rarity.

"She did get pretty annoying with her books and her library," murmured Fluttershy.

Applejack, who had been nodding in agreement with everything her friends had to say about the princess finally spoke. "Buck Twilight! Let's all go celebrate her being hit by that rock at my farm. Cider's on me, y'all!" she said. Everypony besides Pinkie Pie cheered and followed Applejack down the stairs and out the door.

"FUCK YOU ALL!" screamed Pinkie Pie as she headed to the hospital to check on Twilight.

Pinkie sat down quietly in a seat beside Twilight's hospital bed. She realized the princess was sleeping as she watched the rhythmic rise and fall of the white blanket. Gathering herself, Pinkie took a deep breath and screamed in her loudest and most excited voice, "SURPRISE!"

"... Pinkie."

The pink pony's head and ears instantly shot up. "H-Hi, Twilight! Today is your special 'you got hit in the head with a huge rock' party!" she said with a forced smile, inching closer once again. A purple hoof reached out slowly... and slapped her across the face with surprising force.

"Bitch, why the fuck you didn't tell me about that rock?" said Twilight.

Pinkie flinched at the question. It was what she'd been so upset about over the past few days, and just when she thought things were going to be okay, they weren't. "I... I'm sorry, Twilight," said Pinkie, backing up slowly.

Twilight slammed her hoof on the table beside her hospital bed, but she was so weak that it barely made a tapping sound. "Pinkie, my life is never going to be the same." Twilight pointed at her head. "They told me I have permanent brain damage, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT BRO," she screamed. There was a silence in the room as the princess's words registered to both of them.

Pinkie reached out to put a hoof in Twilight's shoulder, but it was batted away. "Just watch, Pinkie." Twilight concentrated, and her horn sparked in response to her efforts, but although her face turned red and sweat dripped from her brow, nothing seemed to happen. Twilight finally gave up, and the sparks from her horn ceased immediately. She glared at Pinkie Pie, hatred in her eyes. "Can't you see, Pinkie? I can't use magic anymore. The damage to my head disabled my ability to conduct magic through my horn. I'M MORE USELESS THAN PRINCESS CADANCE HAS BEEN DURING ANY SIGNIFICANT CONFLICT BECAUSE OF YOU, ASSHOLE."

Pinkie Pie finally snapped. "FUCK YOU YOU DUMB BITCH, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING NEXT TIME!" she screamed. "Oh wait, there won't be a next time, you ungrateful fucker!" The instant the words came out of Pinkie mouth, she knew she had said too much. "Wait, Twilight..." But the princess had already turned her head away to hide the tears that were falling down her face. She pointed to the door.

"Just go, Pinkie. I don't want to see your stupid fucking pink, annoying shitstain of a face in my life ever again," whispered Twilight. She didn't say any more after that, pulling the hospital blanket over her head and sobbing. Pinkie didn't know what she could do, so she did the only thing she could and obeyed Twilight's last order to her.

Years passed, but Twilight Sparkle never left the hospital again. Without the guidance and knowledge of the Princess of Friendship, Equestria fell into chaos, and Queen Chrysalis seized the opportunity to launch a takeover attempt. The remaining princesses were captured, and the changelings all turned evil again, taking ponies as their slaves for the rest of eternity.

Author's Note

hi everypony sorry I haven't posted in a while! i hope u all had an amazing new year! i know i did and i am totally ready for another year of writing and improving and thinking up cool and wacky ideas!!! :pinkiehappy: