Subtext is Just an Anagram

by StarkyShy

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Pinkie Pie, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Porn, Sex, Fetish
Length: 3819

Rarity drops subtle hints to Pinkie Pie that she wants anal. Subtlety is not something Pinkie Pie excels in.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie love each other. They've hugged, they've kissed, they've gone on dates, they've had sex, they've had kinky, kinky sex.

But with all the things they've done together in the bedroom, and even outside the bedroom, they've yet to do one thing that Rarity has wanted for a long time, and that's having Pinkie's massive, throbbing cock in her ass.

Maybe with enough double entendre, Pinkie will take the hint...

Will Rarity finally get the ass plowing that she wants? That she needs? That she deserves?

Published 2019-01-24 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-24 23:50:01 UTC

Innuendo In-her-end-o

“Well, that was a rather stimulating session, wouldn’t you say?”

“Y-You bet! I think my butt’s even pinker now...” Pinkie Pie giggled, rubbing her cheeks, wincing when her fingers glide across a particularly sore spot.

“Indeed it is,” Rarity nodded, pushing Pinkie’s hands away to apply the ointment to her butt, making sure to use a gentle touch as she rubs the salve in.

Pinkie let out a shudder of relief, drooling on Rarity’s bedsheets.

Once Rarity was done applying the ointment, she attended to Pinkie’s face, wiping the tears from her eyes and drool off her lips. “Are you alright, Pinkie? My new toy didn’t hurt too much, did it?”

Pinkie shook her head. “I’m fine. I don’t think I’ll be sitting right for a few days though,” she joked. “Where did you get that wonderful toy?”

“That, my dear, will have to remain a secret for now,” Rarity said, kissing Pinkie on the lips, before offering her a chilled bottle of water and some chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Within seconds, Pinkie had finished both. “Mmm-mm! I feel refreshed already!”

“I thought you might be,” Rarity winked.

“So, what now?”

“Now, we do this.” Rarity picked Pinkie up off the bed with her magic, letting her land daintily on the floor as she brought her in for a tight hug. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mm...mmhmm…” Pinkie slowly nodded, starting to get lost in the scent of Rarity’s mane. Jasmine, with trace hints of vanilla frosting and cotton candy.

“Alright, I just want to make sure...” Rarity began stroking Pinkie’s back, feeling her slow breathing down her neck, her own breathing slowing down to synchronize with hers. “You did a wonderful job.”

Pinkie didn’t give a response, so the two stood still, holding each other tight. After a few minutes, Rarity figured that she simply fell asleep in her arms. Just as she was about to place her into bed...

“...Rarity?”

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“Can you keep holding me like this just a little longer?”

“We can stay like this as long as you wish, dear.”

“Thank you…”

As per Pinkie’s request, Rarity continued to hold her close. Pinkie found it hard to keep herself awake. The rhythmic rocking back and forth, the soothing fragrance of her mane, the calming reassurances with that hushed tone of hers…she let out a loud yawn, trying to keep hold of her consciousness. “O-Ok...I think I’m good…” Pinkie managed to pull herself away from Rarity, looking at her with half-lidded eyes.

“Well, shall we retire for the night, then?”

“Sure thing!” Pinkie Pie slowly scooted herself into bed, trying to not roll over onto her sore butt.

Once Pinkie got into a comfortable position, Rarity joined her on the bed, pulling the blanket over them both.

“So, what do you wanna do next time, Rarity?”

“Well, there is something I’ve wanted to do that I believe we’ve been getting behind on…” Rarity winked.

Pinkie tilted her head. “Really? Did we make plans on doing something? I don’t really remember, but maybe that’s because my brain is still kinda loopy…”

Rarity let out a short sigh, another one of her hints that would remain dropped. “Never mind, I’ll tell you about it later.”

“If you say so, Rare-Bear!”

Rarity’s horn started to glow, and the lights in the room dimmed, until her horn was the only faint light source left.

Once the room was dark, Pinkie Pie scooted closer to Rarity, wanting to wrap her arms around her, to sleep with her in her embrace. It seemed that Rarity had the same idea in mind, as the two found themselves in another tight hug. Pinkie sunk a little lower into the covers so that Rarity could rest her chin on her head, and so that she could get her face just a little bit closer to her bare chest.

With Rarity and the warm blanket enveloping her, it didn’t take long for Pinkie’s exhaustion to catch up with her, and fall asleep, her chin safely nested in Rarity’s cleavage.

Night had passed without any issue, but when the sun started to rise, Rarity awoke to a sudden poking against her stomach.

Rarity groaned, trying to wake herself up mentally. She looked down, seeing Pinkie still fast asleep against her chest, and her arms still wrapped around her.

“...Oh.” It took a few moments for Rarity’s still slumbering mind to process the information, but she figured out what was poking her.

Rarity didn’t want to wake Pinkie up by breaking up the sleeping hold she had on her, but she also didn’t want to be trapped with her morning wood pestering her for Celestia knows how long.

Pinkie started to talk in her sleep, her nonsensical murmurs were accentuated by slow thrusts of her hips, each one leading to another poke against Rarity’s abdomen.

Rarity tried to distance herself away. It was clear she wasn’t going to go back to sleep, but she would at least like to start the morning without being pestered by Pinkie Pie’s poking penis.

Rarity’s shifting was enough to rouse Pinkie from her slumber. She smacked her lips and yawned. “Haaah...huh, usually I’m the one that gets up first.”

“Well, thanks to your friend, I’ve had quite the early awakening,” Rarity teased.

“Oopsie, did I poke you awake? Sorry, Rare! Sometimes I think it’s just got a mind of its own…”

“It’s alright, Pinkie…You know, I wouldn’t mind if you gave me a different kind of poking, if you know what I mean...” Rarity said, turning around to face away from her, wiggling her butt under the covers.

“Ohhh, I think I know what you mean,” Pinkie nodded, a mischievous grin growing on her face.

Rarity’s heart began to race. Sure, this wasn’t the typical thing to do fairly early in the morning, and it wasn’t exact same scenario she fantasized about, but today would finally be the day. She could practically feel it coming…

“Eeeee!”

“Pokey, pokey, pokey!” Pinkie giggled as she prodded Rarity’s sides.

“Aaah! W-wait! Pinkiiieeee!” Rarity squealed, with her back turned, she was left defenseless against Pinkie’s poking assault.

“Whaaaat?” Pinkie said in a not-so-innocent tone. “I’m giving you a few pokes, just like you wanted!”

“Eeeheehee! T-this isn’t what I meant! Aiiiee!” Rarity jolted with each poke, eventually turning around to try and push Pinkie away.

“Oooh, I get it now. You want a whoooole lotta pokes at once!” Pinkie nodded in understanding. “Alrighty then!”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant! Pinkiiiiieeee!” Rarity panicked as Pinkie started tickling proper, her fingers now digging into her sides.

Pinkie started giggling along, her fingers moving up and down Rarity’s sides at alarming speeds.

Rarity somewhat refined and elegant giggling and squealing turned into full-blown guffaws, as she desperately tried to regain control of the situation. No matter how many times she tried to bat Pinkie’s hands away, they always came back with a vengeance. Rarity saw no other option but to join in. Her hands shot forward, right into Pinkie’s underarms.

“Eeeeeeeeee!” Pinkie’s body stiffened up at the counter, before flashing a competitive grin. “Ohoho, it’s on, now!”

The two of them spent the better part of the early morning tickle fighting, until they both exhausted each other out, laying on the bed as a pair of sweaty, giggly messes.

“Heehee! That was great! Maybe we should start every morning like this!” Pinkie giggled.

“Only if you keep waking me up like that,” Rarity jokes. “For now, how about we get refreshed for the rest of the day?”

“Will do!” Pinkie sprung up out of bed, heading towards Rarity’s shower to clean up.

As she lied on the messy bed, it suddenly occurred to Rarity that what just happened was absolutely not what she had planned for, and she could only blame herself for going along with it. She grabbed the nearest pillow to muffle her frustration.

After a much needed shower and cleaning, the two went out together for brunch in one of Ponyville’s outdoor restaurants.

After the waiter left, Rarity noticed that Pinkie had been fidgeting in her chair. “Are you alright, Pinkie?”

“Yeah, just feeling the aftereffects of last night.” Pinkie gave her a sheepish grin, lifting her butt off the seat. “I’ll manage!”

Rarity put her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her head. “Pinkie, there are days where I wish I was the one who couldn’t sit properly...”

Pinkie tried sitting back down, only to spring her butt back up. “Well, next time I can be the one using the paddle if you want!”

“Yes, that is one idea, but I was thinking of something else of yours to use on my rear…” Rarity hinted, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Ooh, you want me to use the whip? I miiiight need to get some practice in first, but I’m sure I can figure it out!”

Rarity’s seductive expression fell flat. Before she could come up with another innuendo, the waiter arrived with their food.

As the two ate their meals, Rarity spotted Fluttershy walking past. With Pinkie shoving her face full of her place, she silently signaled Fluttershy to come over.

“Fluttershy, could you be a dear and meet me in the throne room at four? It’s for important.” she whispered.

Fluttershy was confused why Rarity was whispering to her, but she nodded along.

“Oh, and make sure to tell the others,” she slipped in, driving Fluttershy away before Pinkie was done licking the plate clean.

Fluttershy slipped away from the restaurant, doing as Rarity instructed her to do, flying around Ponyville to pass on Rarity’s message. At two minutes until the planned meeting time, only four ponies were sitting at their respective thrones.

“So, do any of you know why Rarity asked us to meet here?” Applejack asked, looking at the group gathered around the table.

“Rarity just said that it was important.” Fluttershy said.

Dash shrugged, her eyes scanning across the pages of the latest Daring Do novel. “I just hope whatever it is can be solved quick, cause I gotta find out what happens to Daring Do after she enters the cursed jungle and runs face-to-face with-”

“Hey, no spoilers! I haven’t gotten that far, yet!” Twilight protested.

“Is Pinkie supposed to be here?” Fluttershy asked, looking at one of the empty thrones. “Rarity seemed to not want Pinkie to hear her when she told me to meet here…”

“Maybe Rarity called us here to talk about her?” Twilight theorized.

“To do what? Help plan a party for her?”

“But Pinkie’s birthday isn’t for another three months!”

Before the group could speculate some more, Rarity burst through the doors in true dramatic fashion, bringing the conversation to a screeching halt. “Good afternoon, ladies. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you here,” Rarity said, taking her place on her chair. “Well, I require your help. You see, I’ve been dropping hints for Pinkie Pie, and she still won’t...take me from behind.”

“...You want anal from Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow, trying to process if this was the whole reason she was called here.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly word it like that, but yes, that is the issue.”

Dash tilted her head in a mixture of confusion and annoyance, before resuming her progress on her Daring Do book.

“Rarity, is this really such a big deal that you needed to call all of us here?” Applejack sighed.

“Well, I can’t exactly ask just anyone for help on this, can I?”

“Rarity, while we are all very close friends, I think that you wanting Pinkie Pie to...to...” Twilight trailed off, clearly not wanting to say it herself. “...I think this is a matter you need to settle with her personally.”

“I’ve been trying, that’s part of the issue, Twilight!”

“I mean, ya asked her for it, didn’t ya?”

Rarity scoffed. “Of course I did, Applejack! I’ve been dropping hints for the last few months!”

“Just hints, huh?” Applejack crossed her arms.

“I asked her a few weeks ago while we were making out one night to ‘come in through the backdoor’. So she immediately stopped kissing me, and then she leaps out of the WINDOW just so she could knock on the boutique’s rear entrance!”

Rainbow Dash snickered, trying to hide her face behind her book, the rest of her body trembling in silent laughter.

“I’ve done my share of wiggling my butt in her face and she still doesn’t get it! All my sexy double entendres just go right over her!” Rarity whined, slumping down in her throne.

“Well...Why don’t you just ask her for it directly?” Fluttershy suggested.

Rarity sputtered in disbelief. “I can’t just do that! There has to be something romantic about my proposal. A direct request for something of this nature is just so...so...so crude!”

“Yeah, because getting fucked in the ass is SO romantic,” Rainbow Dash said, not even looking up from her Daring Do book. “Right up there with a candlelit dinner and slow dancing.”

“I can’t believe this is a conversation we’re having…” Twilight muttered to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Hey girls, what are we talking about?”

All five girls went dead silent, their heads turning towards the door to see Pinkie Pie had somehow entered the room without any of them noticing.

The silence lingered in the throne room, all five girls staring at the still-grinning Pinkie until Twilight finally spoke up.

“Pinkie! Uh...where’d you come from?”

“The door.”

“Right, of course. Did you know we’d be here?”

“Nuh-uh, was just walking by and figured I’d say hello to you, Twilight! Spike said that all of you were gathered here for some reason, so now, here I am!”

“So... You didn’t hear anything we were saying before, right?”

“Nnnope! But if all of you are together, then you must be talking about something important!” Pinkie leaned over the table. “Soooo...Tell me about it! Ooh, but if it’s a surprise party for me, then don’t tell me about it! Unless you want me to plan my own surprise party, in which case explain the situation by just saying it’s for a friend.”

Rainbow Dash looked at Rarity, then back at Pinkie Pie. “Well, we were just talking about what you and Rarity could do together, and Rarity thought it’d be a good idea if you could plant your seed in her backyard.”

“Ooh, that sounds like fun! It’s been so long since we did some gardening together!”

“Well, I tried.” Rainbow Dash said dismissively, returning to her book.

“Pinkie, that’s, uh...not exactly what Rainbow Dash meant,” Fluttershy said.

“Ah, so it’s got a secret meaning, huh? Hm…planting...digging...” Pinkie started stroking her chin. “Ooh, ooh! I know! Rarity must’ve buried treasure somewhere and now I get to look for it! Don’t worry, Rarity! I’ll get to the bottom of this! Mark my words, I will get Rarity’s booty!” Pinkie declared before running out of the room.

“...Alright, she’s doing this on purpose.” Rarity give a defeated sigh, dropping her face onto the table in defeat.

“I’m sure she really just doesn’t know what’s going on,” Twilight said, trying to reassure her.

“I love her, but sometimes she is absolutely exhausting.”

“I think you might have to just be direct about it, as unromantic as it will make your proposal.”

Rarity let out a dejected sigh. “Yes, I suppose you’re right, Twilight…”

“Hey, uh...Is Pinkie Pie supposed to be digging holes all over Ponyville?” Spike interrupted, walking in the room.

A couple days later, and Pinkie’s rear had recovered enough for her and Rarity to have another fling of fun.

The two went through their usual foreplay routine, some revealing lingerie slowly being removed, a bit of fingers running up and down their cutie marks just to tease, running their thumbs over their stiff nipples, and sealing everything off with a long kiss.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight, Rare?” Pinkie asked, keeping her muzzle close to Rarity’s.

Rarity pursed her lip, deciding on what she would say to her. “Well, Pinkie, you are aware of what ‘doggystyle’ means, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Perfect…”

Well, it was progress. Now she just needed to make sure Pinkie picked the right hole. As Rarity crawled onto the bed to get into position, she saw Pinkie skipping away. “...Where are you going?”

“To get the collar, duh!”

“UGGHHH!” Weeks of suppressed frustration released in one exasperated sigh. Before Pinkie could skip out of the room, Rarity reeled her back by grabbing her with her magic. “Right, that clearly didn’t work. Pinkie, I want you to listen carefully to me.” Rarity grabbed her on the shoulders, making sure to establish eye contact by getting close enough that her horn rested on Pinkie’s scalp. “I. Want you. To fuck me. In the ass.”

“Oh, you want anal sex!” Pinkie grinned, without missing a beat. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

Rarity swore she could hear something snap in her brain out of sheer rage. “You! I! But!” She wanted to be angrier, but it wasn’t worth it to spend her entire rutting fuming. “...Fuck it.”

“That’s the plan!” Pinkie giggled. She swayed her hips back and forth, making her semi-erect cock swing side to side. “Wanna help get me started, first?”

“Oh, absolutely!”

Rarity kneeled down to bring Pinkie to a full erection, starting by grabbing the shaft and giving it slow strokes. Just the thought of getting pounded by it got her drooling.

Pinkie’s cock started to twitch as it stiffened, it didn’t take long for Rarity to get Pinkie hard and needy. “Haaah...Are we ready to go?”

Rarity waggled her finger, before using a single fingertip to tease her cockhed. “Ah, ah, ah, not yet. I want to savor this moment...Also, I need the lubricant.” Rarity retrieved a bottle out from under the bed.

With a generous amount squeezed onto her hands, she got to work lubing Pinkie up, covering her cock from base to tip.

“Jeez, you want to take the whole thing?” Pinkie asked, her breathing starting to get heavy as Rarity rubbed the lube in.

“I’ve been fantasizing about this night for months, Pinkie. Of course I’m taking the whole thing.” After giving Pinkie’s dick a proper coating, she needed to test it. Rarity gave her dick a few test strokes, her fingers gliding effortlessly up and down her thick shaft.

“Nnf...d-don’t get me too excited, or we’ll miss out on all the fun!” Pinkie warned, her cock already starting to throb.

“Of course, I think you’ve been prepped enough. Now…” Rarity crawled back onto the bed, raising her butt high in the air, supporting herself with her forearms and knees. “Do me.”

“With pleasure!” Not wanting to keep her love waiting any longer, Pinkie hopped onto the bed behind Rarity, grabbing her ass to keep her cheeks spread apart. “Alrighty, here we go!” Once she was lined up, Pinkie thrusted in.

“OOOOHHHHH!” Rarity shuddered, nearly collapsing onto the bed just from crazy how the initial penetration drove her.

Pinkie was only halfway inside for the first thrust. Though that moan was promising, she didn’t want to destroy her completely within the first minute, she pulled back out to let her recover, before easing her way back in, making her take a little bit more of her length this time.

Rarity couldn’t stop herself from drooling on the bedsheets, it was only two thrusts, and it was already infinitely better than any sex toy she used on herself.

With each thrust, Pinkie inched herself a little further into Rarity’s ass, until finally, she pushed herself the whole way.

Rarity’s mind finally cleared enough to allow for something other than lust-driven moans to pass her lips. “Aaah! Yes! More, more, more!” There was some obvious discomfort, but the pleasure eclipsed the pain.

“Nnnf! You got it!” Now that Rarity was accustomed to taking her full length, she started to pump herself into Rarity’s rear, watching her butt jiggle each time she pushed in.

“Just like that! Ohhh fuck, i love you, Pinkie!” Rarity yelled, her fists clenching onto the pillows.

Pinkie started to get into a rhythm, the lube helping her keep a smooth consistent thrusting speed. “We should’ve tried this a loooong time ago!”

“I’ve-aah! Been trying-nnnf! To! Dropped! Soooo! Many! Innuendos!”

“Wait, you have?” And suddenly, months of conversations with Rarity had finally been processed in Pinkie’s mind. “...Oh my gosh I didn’t even realize those were hints! I am soooo sorry, Rarity! I really didn’t know how badly you wanted this! If I knew I would’ve-”

“IT’S! FINE! JUST! KEEP! FUCKING! ME!” Rarity shouted, her inhibitions clearly thrown out the window.

Pinkie nodded wordlessly, increasing her speed, her hands keeping a firm grip on Rarity’s cutie marks. She wasn’t sure how long she was going to last, but she sure wasn’t stopping now.

It was difficult for Rarity to stay in her position for so long. Aside from Pinkie thrusting into her tailhole, she could feel her arms getting weaker. That shouting fit she had earlier drained more energy out of her than she thought.

Each time Rarity’s butt squeezed around her lubed-up cock, Pinkie felt a little explosion in her mind. A tingle washed over her entire body, she could feel her cock throbbing in response. “R-Rarity! I-I’m gonna blow!”

“Do it inside! I want to feel it!” Rarity could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She trembled in anticipation. It was finally time to complete her fantasy.

Pinkie’s thrusts started to slow as she felt herself climax, pumping her hot load into Rarity’s ass. Pinkie stayed still in her position, breathing heavily as she emptied herself, some of her cum started to drip out onto the sheets.

With an orgasm of her own, Rarity let out a lusty moan as her body gave out, forcing her to faceplant onto the pillows with a satisfied smile. All that frustration of trying to get this moment to happen was completely worth it.

After a moment to recover, Pinkie finally pulled out, making some more cum stains on the sheets. She crawled forward and collapsed next to her love.

“So...you’ll forgive me for not realizing this is what you wanted for so long, right?” Pinkie asked with a sheepish grin, hoping the afterglow would make her more forgiving.

Rarity gave her a soft smile in response, scooting closer to whisper in her ear. “...Next time, you’re getting it. With the biggest strapon I can find. And no lube.”

“Awww, just cause I didn’t get any of the hints you were dropping? Jeez Rarity, I love you, but sometimes you can be a huge pain in the ass!”

Author's Note

Why yes, I did write the last two lines first and make an entire story to build to that punchline, why do you ask?