I'm Not Lazy, Luna!

by Twilight Glimmer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1713

Celestia can no longer harness the Elements. Luna's not buying it.

Luna sees Celestia send Twilight off with her friends to defeat Discord in ‘The Return of Harmony’. She overhears Celestia say that she can no longer wield the Elements of Harmony. The Princess of the Moon ain’t buying that BS.

Featured 1-3-19 to 1-4-19

Published 2019-01-03 10:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-26 01:45:09 UTC

Alternate Sequel Idea

“Luna! Did you put a magical lock on the lunam stella dimension?! I can’t get in!”

“Maybe...”

“Ugh, why?”

“Because you’ve been adding so many memories, the dimension is expanding, which disrupts the flow of time and space. But that’s not the hot issue right now.”

“If THAT’S not the issue, then what is?”

“Why are you making Twilight Sparkle into an allicorn?”

“How did you find out about THAT?!”

“How did you find out about the Lunam Stella dimension?”

“Touché.”

“I thought we already talked about this.”

“Talked about what?”

“About you being too lazy to do anything yourself, so you task Twilight with things you could fix in 20 minutes.”

“I’m not lazy, Luna! And Twilight usually takes around 10 minutes to fight a monster, it takes us 30 minutes to fix things.”

“She’s still too young, Tia, remember how hard it was for us when we started to rule Equestria. At least we’d been planning to rule Equestria for our whole lives”

“Can we talk about this later, Lulu? It’s been a long day.”

“Okay, Tia.”

Author's Note

Tell me in the comments which sequel idea you like more. I’m counting on your opinion. :)

Really!

Princess Celestia, co-ruler of all of Equestria, watched 6 pastel colored ponies run off to the maze in her castle garden. After they had departed, she turned around to see her little sister, Princess Luna.

“Why, Luna? What brings you here? I thought you were charting off plans for a new constellation tonight.”

“I was, sister, but a nationwide threat has brought me out of my chambers.”

“There is no need to worry, Lulu. Twilight and her friends have gone off to handle him.”

“Wait, why are they handling our duties to Equestria?”

“Whatever do you mean, dear sister?”

Luna looked disapprovingly at her older sister. “Oh, what does she think she’s pulling?” she thought.

“I mean, Celestia, that you have just shamelessly lied to 6 of your most faithful subjects. The subjects that defeated the darkness within me. You even lied to that purple mare who is apparently your student.”

“I know, Luna. I feel guilty for lying to all of them, especially Twilight. But you know that we can’t wield the Elements anymore.”

“Did you even try?”

“I-well, no.”

“I became one with the Elements when the young mares turned me back, and I did a test on you after I recovered enough strength to see if you still had the connection. The test came back positive.”

Celestia was shocked.”How did you do a test on me without me knowing?!”

“I tested you through your dreams, Celestia. I created a nightmare where you had to use the Elements to send Tirek back to Tartarus.”

“Wait, you created a nightmare?! You’re not allowed to do that, Luna.”

“Actually, I am allowed to do that, Tia. As long as it doesn’t damage the pony’s psyche and it’s well-intended. I had you fight a villain that you will have no remorse for sending to Tartarus and I created the nightmare to see if you can still wield the Elements. So it meets all requirements.”

“Well, I still don’t like it,” Celestia said sulkily. “When are you going to start doing your job right?”

“When are you going to start doing yours right?”

“Oh, Luna. You have so much to learn. We need to get you an apprentice to do some of your work for you. We can-“

“No, sister. Unlike you, I don’t like to take advantage of ponies. And I don’t like to stalk them either.”

“What are you talking about?”

Luna proceeded to make a total solar eclipse, moving the moon and all of the stars in front of the sun. The two sisters were instantly teleported to a mint green dimension before Celestia could have any say over it.

“Luna! What did you do?! How do you even know this spell?”

“I helped Star Swirl create this dimension 1000 years ago. I helped write the spell for the solar eclipse.”

“Well, what about the ponies? They must surely be concerned with the eclipse.”

“If anypony wants to know, we’ll blame it on Discord.”

“Good idea. But why are we here in the first place?”

“Wait for it...”

The holographs loaded a few seconds later. They showed some of Twilight Sparkle’s various adventures with her friends.

“I have to keep watch on Twilight. She is my student after all.”

“That doesn’t explain why you have a room for every pony in Ponyville.”

“What?!”

“Don’t play innocent, Celestia. Only alicorns can create holograph rooms for other ponies. I didn’t create rooms for anypony that’s still alive except for you and me, and Cadence isn’t powerful enough yet to cast this spell, so it had to be you.”

“Uh-you can’t control me!” Celestia was caught, and she knew it.

“I know, but I can control this dimension, so you owe me an explanation to why you’re stalking our subjects, or I’ll tell Twilight that you can wield the Elements.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you. I made the rooms because I’m bored.”

“You’re BORED?!”

“Yes, watching my subjects without their permission is such a nice break from meeting with delegates.”

“Is that why Cadence is always so busy, even though she doesn’t have a kingdom to govern yet?”

“She likes doing it.”

“She’s the Princess of Love. Her compassion for you drives her to try and please you. Have you ever asked if she actually liked doing it?

“Well... I should probably get on that after Discord is turned back into stone.”

“Which brings me back to my main point. Why are you making 6 young mares slay monsters when you and I are fully capable of fighting them ourselves?”

“I just want to challenge Twilight.”

“And the other 5?”

“She can’t use the Elements without them.” Celestia sighed. “Look, Luna, they saved you from being Nightmare Moon. They are more than capable of defeating Discord. Please let me handle Twilight. She is my student and my responsibility,” Celestia said in an unusually aggravated voice.

“I have no doubt that they are strong and fully capable of wielding the Elements of Harmony, but Discord is more powerful than Nightmare Moon. All that Nightmare Moon wanted to do was have an eternal night. I never really did anything except for making a bunch of trees look scary and cutting off this creature’s mustache. Discord, on the other hoof, has no restraint on his chaos. He has powerful magic and can physically harm ponies. He may not be throwing claws, but there is always at least a dozen ponies injured from the chaos that Discord creates. My point is, Discord is a lot more dangerous than Nightmare Moon. What if he corrupts Twilight and her friends?”

“That’s not going to happen, Luna.”

“But it could. You can never know with Discord.”

“I suppose you’re right. I shouldn’t be making 6 young mares battle monsters just because I don’t want to.”

Luna smiled, “Alright. You’ve learned your lesson. If you take precautions to make sure that Twilight won’t give up if she gets corrupted, I suppose I can let this slide this time. But you have to promise to stop using ponies who look up to you to do things that you don’t want to.”

“I promise, Luna.”

“Very well, then.” Luna ended the solar eclipse and returned to the ground with her sister. “While you go take care of Twilight, I’ll order us some cake from the kitchen.”

As Luna left for the kitchen, Celestia thought happily to herself “I promise to troll Twilight more than I ever have before. But not before I get some royal cake!”

Just as Luna entered the royal bakery, she couldn’t help thinking about the conversation she had just had with her sister. “I swear, she’s going to make Twilight into an alicorn someday just so that she can have some extra help around here.”

“One slice of angel food cake and one slice of devil’s food cake,” she said to the baker.

“Right away, Princess!”

As she waited for the cake to bake and looked at her to do list, which was full of mundane tasks, she longed for an assistant to the repetitive jobs for her.

Then, she noticed one of Celestia’s students passing through the bakery.

“Oh, Cheerful Breeze!”

The pony stopped to acknowledge the princess.

“Yes, your majesty?”

“How would you like to be my personal protege?”

Author's Note

Another month, another fanfic. This is my first time writing Luna, and I don’t know enough about old English to use words like ‘thou’ correctly, so she uses modern language. I hope her savage attitude makes up for that though. 😎

August 2020 edit: This was my first attempt at writing comedy. I know it's pretty mediocre, so please don't generalize the rest of my stories just from this one. I'm not proud of how I handled this premise, but I'm keeping it because I know there's people who really enjoyed it.

P.S. I scrapped both sequel ideas that begin in the following chapters. The two ideas i actually began writing are on hiatus, possibly forever.

I may rewrite this someday, but until then, positive vibes.

Sequel Preview

“NO, Luna.”

“Pretty please?”

“Cheerful Breeze is my responsibility, her parents entrusted me to care for her.”

“But you have so many other students, you own a school for harmony’s sake! Need I remind you that Equestria is not a monarchy anymore?

“Cheerful Breeze has a magic disorder. She will never outgrow the magic surges that most unicorns get when first learning spells.”

“Well, she sounds like a handful. But I was a handful once too, you know. Besides, it’s high time I get a job outside of royal duties too.”

“Fine, you want her so badly, you can have her. But I’ll be keeping an eye on you two.”

Luna rolled her eyes and thought to herself ”Sure, you will.”

Author's Note

This was unplanned and unedited. The sequel will NOT be a one-shot. I think that I’m ready to have a longer story. Let me know what else you want to see in “All Breezies are a handful”