Revenge

Chapters

Origin of a villain
Making a name for herself
Getting chased out of town
Doing Her Research
The best laid plans
Interrogation and Investigation
Munchies and Arch-Nemeses
A Villain's First Minion

Origin of a villain

Changelings are known for a three things. One is their ability to shape change into somepony to feed off the love of others. Another is that they have a hive mind, meaning an individual changeling has no will of its own, and directly follows the telepathic orders of their queen. The third is that they are supposedly really ugly. However, occasionally they are unable to communicate with the rest of the hive. Many of these changelings begin to develop a will and personality of their own. Some try to become reconnected with the hive. Others try to integrate into regular pony society, trying to live like a normal pony would.

I’m not one of those weaklings.

I woke up recently, and all of a sudden the voices in my head that were my constant companions, have gone silent. My first thought was, what happened? After remembering the last place I was, (Canterlot) I began to remember. The invasion planned by our queen had failed. There were probably hundreds of changelings now scattered across Equestria, all having lost contact with the hive. My second thought was, thinking for myself was such a strange feeling. I could make my own plans, I was my own mare. I could do anything!

My third thought, was revenge.

I thought about all of those ponies that had thwarted our queen’s plan, the purple one blasting away half of her brethren with their magic. The bluish one with a rainbow mane flying so fast that they couldn’t catch her, and when they did she beat them up so fast that they didn’t have a chance. The white one was insidiously pompous when she fought, usually standing over the bodies of my sisters with a smug smile, only to polish her hoof on their unconscious bodies and continue the fight. The orange one was ruthless, I thought I actually heard some carapaces rupture when she bucked. The yellow one avoided being hit so well that she was practically making us beat ourselves to death! Then there was the pink one. Oh how I loathed the pink one, and to think, until twenty minutes ago I was absolutely incapable of such an emotion. She was a sorry, ungrateful, overly cheery, ragamuffin. Who wouldn’t know a good impersonation if her life depended on it!

I have to destroy them, not just for the hive, but also for myself. The hive may not appreciate me being this selfish, but they sure will appreciate these nuisances being out of the way.

As to where I am now, I haven’t got a clue. I seem to be in a heavily forested area, and until I get out of here, I won’t be able to find them. I’ll think over my options. I could walk out on foot, that way I could maintain some level of secrecy. Although I have no idea where out is. I could look to see if any of my brethren have landed near here. Maybe they would know where the troublemakers are. That’s unlikely.

What else can I do to get out of here? I swivel my head to look around the clearing I was in. My vision stopped at my wings. That probably should have been my first option. In my defence, I’m still getting used to this thinking business.

Up in the air I will be clearly visible. I’m going to have to change into a pegasus, but how should I look? I have never had to decide something like this before. Should I shape change into someone I have already changed into before? Who have I changed into before? My newly found memory seems to be fuzzy. The only ponies I can remember changing into were those troublemakers. I cringe at the thought. I guess I can’t rely on my memory too much prior to my newfound independence. So I’m going to have to make up some characteristics.

Should I be male or female? Well I might as well stay female, acting like a stallion just seems like it’s so much more effort. I change my body so that it takes the form of a pegasus mare. I look into a puddle that is formed in the ground and see that I my hair on both my mane and tail were unchanged. It frankly looked hideous… I looked hideous. No wonder ponies were scared of us.

This won’t do! I’m practically screaming that I’m a changeling in disguise. I change my mane to be medium length and sort of messy. It doesn’t look pretty, but at least it’s not out of place. My tail I make mimic my mane. I look into the pool again. I notice that I’m still the same colours as when I was a changeling, it looks so wrong on a pegasus.

Gah, I need new colours. What to pick I wonder. I can’t believe how hard it is to come up with a pony’s form all on your own. It’s so much easier to just copy other ponies’ looks. Well I do like blues and purples. Wait, I have colour preferences now? This will of my own thing is just odd. I decide that my mane and tail is going to be light green, and my coat a light purple.

I look back at my reflection to see an almost normal pony in front of my eyes. Something was off however. I can’t quite put my hoof on it.

Oh wait my eyes. I haven’t changed my eyes. Uh … I feel incredibly stupid. I have to change them to pony eyes and decide their colour. I sighed. I just went with a dark green, no point in getting fancy.

All right, I think I’m good now. Fangs aren’t showing, totally different colour, feathered wings… and I forgot the most important part, the cutie mark. If I don’t have one, ponies will get suspicious. Hmm… but what should it be. Do I have any talents…? Shape changing… no that’s a recipe for disaster.

I started brainstorming different things I’m good at, but couldn’t think of a single one. Then it hit me like a pegasus going Mach 3. I quickly changed my form once more. There, proudly displayed on my flank, was a symbol of my new found decision making skills, a brain.

Sure it was a bit garish, but I was worth it. Now to find out where I am…

I give an experimental flap of my wings before taking to the sky, shooting out of the forest and into the blue sky above. Once I get to a high altitude above the trees I level out, flying perpendicular to the ground. I look below as I fly, scanning for any signs of civilization. Why from here I can see quite a few. There seems to be a small town, a farm, and a cottage right by the very woods which I had egressed from.

I look along the horizon, scanning the wider area, until my eyes happen upon the very city of which we were defeated, Canterlot. Perched high up in the mountains it was plainly visible from miles around. I seemed to be relatively close to it however. So I must have not been flung as far as I thought. In fact, I can very well begin my search in this very town.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cackle manically. I wonder if that comes with the act of seeking revenge. I repressed the cackling however, as I have yet to make a plan. You can’t laugh at how well your plan is going without a plan can you?

I decide that my first step is going to be the cottage. It is closest, and perhaps I could even ask the pony if they knew those troublemakers. I have to be cautious however, what if the cottage had some sort of trap that you couldn’t see from up this high. I’ve heard of crazy old hermits that were into that sort of thing… I think.

I glide down towards the cottage, stopping about a hundred yards away and behind a few trees nearby. I staked out the area, looking around a nearby tree to see if I could get a glimpse of any traps or tricks that may be on the way to the cottage. I mostly saw various animals prancing about without a care in the world. They were all over the place, what kind of crazy pony keeps all these wild creatures around their home? Maybe they were a sort of an alarm system, it was a good thing I landed so far back.

What’s this? No, it can’t be… but it makes perfect sense. I knew nobody else could possibly be more insidious or feral than that pony.

It was… the yellow one. Her pink mane was draped over her face like a willow tree, but I wasn’t going to underestimate this mare again. Oh no, she won’t pull the fast one on me. It explains so much really. She uses these animals to keep guard, and also to train her incredible dodging maneuvers… Ingenious really…

Also downright evil… and I thought the pink one was bad. This pony not only has insane martial arts moves, but probably has the strength to wrestle bears! I need to be careful not to confront her head on… That would be suicide.

I watch her for a few moments, studying her every move. She was graceful, as you would expect from someone with such raw martial skill. She even seemed to be able to talk the animals into doing what she wanted… Was this mare invincible!? How am I going to combat a martial arts expert that has so much raw charisma that she can convince ANIMALS to do her bidding?
I watched as a bird flew over to the yellow pony and chirp into her ear. She seemed to nod her head in understanding, however I couldn’t examine further because all of a sudden she turned to face me.

I quickly hid my whole body from sight, my back pressed up against the back of the tree… It’ll be okay, she won’t notice you. You are the tree, become one with the tree.

I held my breath for what felt like hours. I looked back to see her standing right in front of the tree, now clearly staring right at me.

I screamed, and maybe fainted.

When I regained consciousness (from either fainting or the demoness’s mind manipulation) I seemed to have been placed in a bed. I didn’t know whether I was saved, or perhaps violated.

I scan the room from the bed. There is a fireplace and a mantle with a clock and a of couple books atop it. There are a few windows, including a pair right behind the bed on either side. I slide off the side of the bed and onto the floor without making a sound and creep up to the windows.

I look out to see the same field which I was observing the yellow one. I freeze in horror. Odds were now in favour of violation. I was in the very cottage of the yellow pony.

What happened? I didn’t seem to have lost my form, so that’s a plus. Maybe she thinks I’m just a lost stranger, maybe there was nothing that happened in that bed besides me recovering from shock.

I opened the window as quietly as I could. I started to flap my wings, but before I could take off I felt a huge wash of fatigue.
Oh no, I was getting hungry. This is horrible, now I’m stuck in a house with a monster and I’m love starved. Out of all the things that could go wrong, this is possibly the WORST POSSIBLE THING!

I begin to panic and pace around the room, if I fly off there is no doubt I won’t go far. I’d probably just pass out again. I scan the room once more. I needed some way to get out of here, and quickly. Oddly enough, I found a bowl of soup prepared by the bed… That was odd. Isn’t that creature the only pony that lives here?

Well there are two possibilities; either this pony has captured another soul who has taken pity on me… Or this pony has yet to discover my identity… and has taken pity on me?

I shudder at the thought… I look back at the soup. It might not be love, but it might still sustain me until I can find a reliable source of love to feed from.

I lower my mouth into the bowl and give it a cautionary blow to prevent burning my tongue. I slowly lap up the soup which was set out for me, keeping one eye on the door at the end of the room in case the yellow one returned.

I soon finished the meal, feeling only slightly better than before. I was satiated, but even the most healthy of pony food feels like grease filled junk going down my throat. I was about to fly right out the window again when I heard a soft knock at the door.

Ah! That was probably her. I needed to get out of here, but if I left now she would see me flying off and could chase after me. Uh… I gotta hide! Where? The bed! I’ll just pretend I went back to sleep!

I hopped into bed as quickly and quietly as I could. I flung the blanket over as much of my body as I could and closed my eyes tightly. She entered the room shortly after that. I could hear the door creaking and her faint hoofsteps creeping up next to the bed. It was so ominous, I could feel the sweat on my forehead at my impending doom.

“Oh she must have gone back to sleep.” I heard a soft voice come from right beside me. She bought it. I can’t believe she bought it. Thank Chrysalis!

As I was mentally cheering at the fact that it was the first time today something went right, I felt a slight warm pressure right by my ear. Instantly I felt rejuvenated. I lay there in shock as she quietly walked out, shutting the door behind her. As soon as she left I slowly sat back up in the bed. I stared at the door.

Did she just kiss me?

Making a name for herself

I sat there in awe. I could not believe what just happened. Did it really happen? For all I know I could have imagined it, and me being full might just be the effects of the food kicking in.

Yeah, that must be it.

It couldn’t be anything else. She couldn’t have just kissed me, it’s preposterous!
…well what if she did? What then?

Well she does take care of her animals right? She must if she has so many. Maybe it’s just those nurturing instincts popping up. Yeah, means nothing, you are just acting like an ignorant hatchling. For all she knows you’ve just met.

Why’d she bring me inside?

I mean she must have seen I was watching her. Why did she not leave me there, or dump me far away from her house?

I get up from my position on the bed. I creep towards the door. I feel like I’m in a trance, just acting on pure instinct.
I slowly raise my hoof to touch the handle. I turn it and carefully pull the door open. It creaks as I open it.

I walk down the steps, keeping as quite as possible. I enter what seems to be a living room. It actually looks rather cozy. Oddly, the very fact this home looked so comforting made my hair stand on end and my wings flare out.

I got to the bottom of the stairs, there seemed to be the front door right in front of me. I thought for a moment that I would just leave right away. A part of me was curious about the yellow pony however. Since when did I get curious? Changelings never get curious. This thinking thing is really too much to handle, how do these ponies do it?

I could hear a faint humming coming from the room right next to me. I peeked around the doorway, only to find the yellow one doing something by the stove.

Her back was to me so she could not see me, but whatever she was cooking it smelled like fresh grass. I watched her with a mix of fear and astonishment. Up closer she didn’t seem so threatening. No, that’s the fault of the humming. She is probably trying to lull you into a false sense of security.

Just as I stepped towards the door, I heard a floorboard creak from under me. I knew I should have flown. I slowly turned my head, to see her staring at me wide eyed.

I panicked… again. I scrambled to the front door, threw it open and once outside I flew as high and as fast away from there as I could. It was a couple minutes before I slowed down.

I looked back to see if she was behind me. I could not see a sign of the yellow pony anywhere. She must not have followed me. I let out a sigh in relief. I was safe for now. I have to be more careful in the future.

At least I found one of those meddling ponies. The others must be around somewhere. I’ll go check the town, maybe I can find more clues there.

I slowed down to a hover, thinking of where I could find clues. Who would I ask if I wanted to know where the troublemakers were?

I facehoofed, I could have easily asked the yellow one if I wasn’t such a scaredy cat. All I had to do was act casual and eventually ask where her friends were.

I sighed, I’m a horrible changeling. I’m probably an even worse actor. Getting the information is going to take time. I could see if I can spot one of them in town and then follow them…

Now I’m thinking! That’s pure genius. I only have to remain unnoticed by them.

I start flying toward town with renewed vigor. I scanned the ground for any sign of those meddlesome ponies. I had to stop a few times to get a closer look at a few of them. All ponies kind of look alike.

I guess I should have looked where I was flying more because I seemed to run into a low flying cloud.

“Ah! Watch where you’re going wise guy!” a scratchy voice yelled from behind me.

I shook the condensation off my face as I slowed to a halt. I looked behind me to see a cyan mare with a rainbow mane looking at me with contempt. Why does nothing ever go as planned?

“What do you think you are doing?! Flying right into a cloud that someone was sleeping on!” the rainbow maned pony screamed at me, throwing her hooves in the air in aggravation.

I needed to think of an excuse, I looked down below me to see an odd shaped building… that might work, “Uh… sorry, I got distracted by that giant gingerbread house right there.” I apologize to the pony, trying my best to look sincerely apologetic. It was tough, but she seemed to buy it.

She sighed, “Well I guess it is rather odd,” she rolled her eyes at me, “though you must be new here if you haven’t seen Sugarcube Corner yet.”

I’m doing great at giving myself away, it should be my hobby. “Ah, yeah… I’m kinda new to town and I wanted to get a quick view of it to get my bearings.”

She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before speaking once more, “I guess that makes sense. Well once you give a onceover of the area you should probably head to Sugarcube Corner.”

I looked at her with confusion etched onto my face, “Why?”

She shakes her head condescendingly before speaking with a gigantic smirk on her face, “Cause if you don’t go to Pinkie, Pinkie will eventually find you.”

Ug… that’s just great, whoever Pinkie is, she sounds like a freak. I try to keep up the conversation, “Uh, so… what’s your name by the way?”

“I’m Rainbow Dash!” She exclaimed, somehow sticking out her chest while in midair. I thought that was quite a feat. “I’m only the fastest flyer Equestria!”

That would explain the speed, I’ve made some powerful enemies it seems. “R-really? Is that official?” I ask.

“Well not really, but I’m the only pony in the history of Equestria to make a Sonic Rainboom! Multiple times over in fact!”

“Wow, that’s really something… you must be… really famous.” I manage to get out, most likely sounding like a complete doorknob.

Her posture seems to droop for a bit, before she stuck out her chest yet again, “Well not yet, but I’m going to be when I join the wonderbolts!”

I have no idea who they are, but I have the feeling I should know… “Well that sounds neat…” I managed.

She rolled her eyes at me, “Well everyone has got to have a dream don’t they?”

“I guess so.” After all, I dream that I will get revenge against you and your friends.

“So, what’s your name?” Rainbow asked me.

Crap… I probably should have seen this coming. I need to think of something quick. Uh... Flightfeather? No that’s stupid. Mastermind… too obvious I’m plotting something. Oh I know!

I play it off the pause like I just spaced out, “oh, uh right. My name’s Discovery”

“That’s a pretty cool name.” Rainbow nodded her head in approval.

That’s me, Discovery, master of social recovery. Chrysalis I feel smooth.

“So what do you do Discovery?” Rainbow asked.

“Well… I’ve always enjoyed learning new things, so you could say I’m a collector of knowledge.” I totally BSed.

Rainbow laughed at me. I didn’t know whether to feel hurt or not.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, making it clear that I was indignant.

“Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just that you sound kinda like Twilight. Really, the similarity is uncanny.”

“Twilight?”

“Yeah she’s one of my closest friends, she runs the library in the center of Ponyville. You can’t miss it, it’s the big tree.” Rainbow elaborated, pointing at a giant tree near the center of town.

Closest friends huh, as much as I hate being compared to her friends, “Well I’ll probably go do just that.”

“Cool. If you want to hang out sometime, let me know.” Rainbow suggested. She sounded oddly, hopeful.
I mentally cringe, but I need intel… “Okay, where would I be able to find you?”

She chuckled, “Either anywhere in the sky over Ponyville, or in my cloud-home over there.” She pointed a hoof at a really extravagant home made out of clouds with large rainbow rivers running off of it. Not what I was expecting from someone who seemed so laid back.

“I guess I’ll see you around then.” I say, mostly still pretending to be polite.

“Yeah, see ya.” She responds. We take off our separate ways, me going to visit this tree library, and her, probably to finish her nap.

I soon stood in front of the massive tree. I found it hard to believe such a thing could look so healthy. If it had a library in it, shouldn’t the tree be… dead?

I shook my head to focus myself. I need to stay on task. I reached out and knocked on the front door.

“The door’s open!” I heard a voice respond.

I turned the handle and walked inside, this was definitely an extensive library. There were thousands of books on the many bookshelves lining the walls. There were even a few on the floor. I looked around the tree home in awe. I was so consumed with idly staring at the bookshelves that I wasn’t watching where I was going, I ended up running into somepony.

“Oh so sorry dear, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” The mare helped me back up to my hooves before I could even process what was going on. “I apologize again for the inconvenience dear, but I really must be going, Ta-ta.”

With that the white pony with the styled purple mane left the library. I can’t believe my luck, I ran into almost every single one of them today.

“Oh, umm… sorry about Rarity. She gets like that when she’s on a tight schedule” the voice that called me inside apologised from right behind me. I turned around to see the purple unicorn with a dark purple mane, she did have a streak of pink in both ther mane and tail. Was that natural? What was her name again…? Twilight I think.

“Oh it’s no problem,” Cause she’ll get what’s coming to her eventually. I wave my hoof and pretend it isn’t an issue. “Who was that anyway?” I ask Twilight.

“That’s Rarity, she runs the Carousel Boutique here in Ponyville. She just came over to drop off a book on ancient clothes design trends.” She explained to me, “I haven’t seen you around town. Are you new to Ponyville?”

Okay, just stay in character… stay in character. “Why yes actually, I met this nice Rainbow maned pegasus who told me that there was a library here in this tree. I just had to check it out. How do you keep the tree alive when it’s all hollowed out?”

“Well I didn’t build the place, but I researched how it was built shortly after deciding to stay in Ponyville. Turns out that during construction the contractor moved the sap conduits so that they were on the outside ring of the tree instead of in the centre. Then while they were hollowing out the tree…”

She’s going to keep going isn’t she? I might have been genuinely interested before, but I’m not nearly as interested as she seems to be.

“Um… miss…” I interrupt her as she was beginning to talk about how trees grow rings or something. “Not that this isn’t fascinating, but I have yet to even learn your name.”

“Oh, right, silly me. My name is Twilight Sparkle, librarian here in Ponyville and personal student of princess Celestia. I am also the bearer of the element of magic. What is your name?” She asked in a cheery manner. Why do my enemies have to be so friendly to me?

“I’m Discovery… I don’t have any other titles I’m afraid.” I don’t feel like making more work for myself by saying something impressive that I can’t back up.

“So, Discovery, what do you do?” Twilight asked me.

What do I do? “Uh, well I do a lot of travelling, and I’m always looking for new things to learn, but I don’t actually have a job at the moment.” I half- lie.

“You don’t work anywhere? Do you have a place to stay?” Twilight asked, concerned.

I hadn’t thought of that… I have no money, nowhere to stay, and her bittersweet tasting concern reminded me that if I don’t find a stable source of love soon, I’ll be in deep water.

“Um… I don’t usually have a place to stay… I just kinda find a place to sleep somewhere relatively safe in the places I visit.” I tell her.

“Well it’s going to be dark in another couple of hours, do you want to stay here for the night.” She asks.

I barely know you, your trustworthiness will be your undoing, but I don’t know of anywhere else I can sleep.

“Well, if you are sure I’m not intruding-”

“You’re not. Spike is away for the week so I’ve been getting kind of lonely. I’ll go get the spare bed ready for you, why don’t you go explore the town before it gets dark?” I tried to get a word in but the mare had already walked up the stairs and disappeared.

I look around the library awkwardly before deciding that I should probably just do as she says. I walk out the door just as the late afternoon sun was nearing horizon. The sky was becoming the dark blue that it usually gets before turning into the beautiful reds and oranges.

I walk back to where Sugarcube Corner is. If Rainbow told me that I had to come here, I figured I should at least check it out. I walk up to the door and push it open, a small bell jingles as I enter the shop, there seems to be no customers at the moment and there is nopony at the counter as well. Well that was odd… It’s not that late is it? I walk closer towards the counter. It kinda is very dark in here now that I think about it. Is the shop closed?

Just as I get about halfway to the counter, I hear a loud pop coming from behind me. I screamed and turned around in panic as the lights went up around the store.

“Surprise!”

Standing there were hundreds of ponies, all of them staring at me. I looked at them in bewilderment.

A pony that was so pink that if it wasn’t her favourite color it would be a form of self-hatred came up to me.

“Hi!” She practically yelled in my ear, “Welcome to your ‘Welcome to Ponyville party’!”

It was the pink one… and just when things were starting to look up.

Getting chased out of town

“… but gummy didn’t want to be held down, so we had to feed him candy instead!” said the bubbly and all too ecstatic Pinkamena Diane Pie.

I groaned in annoyance for the fifth time that hour. After her introducing herself and everypony in Ponyville, making my brain hurt with all the new pony names, she then proceeded to tell seemingly random stories about her meaningless life.

She also hugged me a lot. Her affection tastes like I am eating pure sugar coated in chocolate, or at least how I think chocolate would taste like to a pony.

“So Discovery, what brings you to Ponyville?” the cheery mare asked me.

I was caught off guard by her question, before I could stop myself I responded under my breath, “Revenge…” I quickly put a hoof to my mouth and looked around the room, nopony seemed to hear that outburst. Except Pinkamena, she looked downright shocked. I facehoof, I haven’t been plotting revenge for more than a day and already it’s falling apart.

Then the pink pony asked me, “Who is it?” in a whisper so quiet that I couldn’t believe it came from the energetic pony. She didn’t look worried however, which threw me off yet again. What was this mare’s game? Well I couldn’t tell her I wanted revenge on her and her friends.

“uh… well, I can’t tell you that..” I weakly answered. I seriously needed to improve my improvisational skills.

After a moment of her staring into my soul, a huge smile crossed her face before she leaned over to my right ear and said, “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” At which point she backed up a step, did a motion with her hooves across her chest, and flapped her hooves, before touching one hoof to her eye.

I was both curious and utterly confused. Had the mare just promised, discreetly, that she wouldn’t tell anypony that I was seeking revenge… against her? This was too perfect, I didn’t know whether to be suspicious or thankful to the dear, misguided pony. I chose to at least pretend like I was thankful.

“Thanks Pinkamena, it means a lot.” I tell her, almost completely sincere.

She winked at me, “What means a lot?” I am surprised at how well this mare seems to be able to keep a secret.
She spoke up once more, significantly louder than our hushed conversation. “Hey! Let’s go talk to my bestest friends ever!” She grabbed my tail in her teeth and dragged me across the floor before I could do anything.

I decided that I still hate this mare.

It was not even a minute later when she let go of my tail and I got up from my prone position, un-amusement etched on my face. The rainbow maned one thought it was hilarious. What did she know?

“Hi” I grunted at the six ponies in front of me, trying to make it even more obvious that I wasn’t okay with being dragged by my tail. Everyone seemed to get the message. Except the pony who dragged me in the first place.

“So Covey, these are my bestest of bestest friends! I wanted to save the bestest for last.” She pointed to every one of them, and introduced me, telling me their names, where they lived, what they did, and even their birthday. I could’ve done without the birthdates myself. I ignored the fact that she gave me a stupid nickname. I barely know this mare, and already I’ve surmised that arguing about it would be a lesson in futility. I gotta say I’m getting better at this thinking thing.

As I was making idle chat with the six ponies, I noticed that the yellow one… Fluttershy, was doing her best to avoid my eye contact. Judging by how she seems to be acting, I’m fairly certain that my first impression of her was not only incorrect, but in retrospect really paranoid.

“So umm… Fluttershy was it?” I saddled up next to her while the others were busy discussing who knows what.
The yellow mare nodded her head slightly, but still refused to look at me.

“Uh… so about the whole overreacting and freaking out on you thing…” I had no idea where I was going with that. Fortunately she at least looked in my general direction. Unfortunately she was still silent and I had to figure a way to end my sentence. Somehow I thought I would have been interrupted there and not have to say anything else. I don’t know why though.

“I’m sorry for fainting on you and making you worry and… stuff…” Chrysalis that apology was incredibly awkward, I need more practice apologising to ponies. Not that I want to make any more mistakes.

Fluttershy seemed to perk up a bit at my apology, or at least came out from behind her mane just a bit, “Oh, it’s not your fault, I startled you and brought you inside without telling you first… I could understand you being a little wierded out…” She seemed to shy back into her mane once more.

“Heh, yeah…” We'll go with that.

Right then Pinkie jumped up right next to me and shouted, “Hey Covey! Let’s go play pin the tail on the donkey!” before I could object, I was dragged away from all of Pinkies friends against my will, blindfolded, spun around, and now had to find out where a donkey was to pin her tail back on.

I stumbled around for a few minutes, amidst the chuckles of the citizens of Ponyville, who I could occasionally hear jumping out of the way of my stumbling, bumbling self. I felt frustrated and humiliated.

I really hate this pink pony.

Just as I was about to give up, my hoof struck a hard vertical surface. I pushed the pin in the wall and took off my blindfold.
I had implanted the pin two inches from the muzzles of both Applejack and Twilight, I was facing the complete opposite wall that the donkey is supposed to be on. It was a close call too, if I was just a little bit to the left or right, I could have stuck the pin right into their nose. Wait, I had a chance at nailing their nose! Chrysalis damn it! I stomped on the ground in frustration.
They both looked at me with wide eyes, looking at the pin then back to me.

Damn, I need to apologise to keep up my appearance. I rubbed my temples with my hooves trying to calm myself down. “Uh… sorry about almost hitting you guys.” I tell them, trying to look as sincere as I can through the obvious frustration I was experiencing.

They both laughed nervously. “… Well, no harm done ah guess.” The orange pony replied. She looked like she was trying to convince herself of that more than me.

I need to play this off somehow, I know! “Pinkie!” I yelled.

I saw her turning away from a group of ponies she was talking to and bounce her way over to us. Literally bouncing, like she was a rubber ball.

She stopped right up next to me and tilted her head to an angle that I didn’t know was even possible. “Yes Covey?”

After a second of staring at her neck wondering how she didn’t break it, or if there are any bones in this mare’s body, I shook my head clear of the randomness.

“Why weren’t you keeping an eye on me? I almost hit Twilight in the eye with this pin!”

“Well that’s not very nice, I hope you said you’re sorry.” Pinkie responded with a glare.

“What? I did apologise, and I was blindfolded!” I exclaimed, wings flaring out in anger.

The pink pony was oblivious to my frustration however, “Why were you blindfolded silly?” she asked.

“You put the blindfold on me to play pin the tail on the pony!”

She looked contemplative, “No… I’m pretty sure that was Lyra that put the blindfold on you.”

I grunted at the pony, fixing her with a glare, “I don’t care who put the blindfold on! You spun me around and didn’t even tell me when I was going to run into somepony!”

“You didn’t run into somepony though.” Pinkamena stated.

“But I almost did!” I seethed.

“But you didn’t!” She said in a sing-song voice.

I threw my hooves up in exasperation and stormed out the door. Noting that everypony was staring at me. What do I care? Those stupid ponies and their stupid games. As soon as I got out the front door I took to the sky, I flew up just above the cloud line before leveling out. I looked back to see if I was being followed. I couldn’t see anypony, so I looped back around and headed towards the Library Tree. I glided down to the tree and landed on one of its branches.

I was there brooding for only a few minutes, when I heard a weird noise from right below me. Something beneath me was rhythmically popping. I lean over the side of the branch, wings spread out behind me to keep my balance. Right below me, and currently coming closer, I saw Pinkamena with suction cups attacked to her hooves.

How in Equestria did she find me?

“Hey Covey!” She called up to me and I instantly bolted into the sky and flew off into the distance. I sped as fast as my wings could carry me, making sure to zig and zag through clouds so as to throw off the pink terror. I saw a mountain nearby. At least with a mountain I’ll be able to see her climb up.

“Why are you being so silly Covey?” I heard from right behind me, I turned around to see the pink mare had somehow appeared right behind me. Can this mare teleport?

I sped off once more, my last hiding spot was meant to be able to spot the mare. Yet she found me because I was in plain sight. So I have to find a hiding spot where she won’t be able to find me.

I fly over to the farm at the edge of Ponyville and land near the barn. Looking around for any sign of the pink mare, I quickly hide in a wagon filled with apples. I sit there for a few minutes to catch my breath.

“Oh, are we playing hide and seek? I love hide and seek! You should have told me.” I heard Pinkamena from just to the right of me. I look over to see a pink face an inch from my own.

I scream and take off once more. I had to find a way to shake this crazy mare. Where could I go? I have to find a place where only pegasi could go. That’s it! She can’t find me in the clouds, and Rainbow Dash’s home is made of them.

I speed over to the pegasus’s home. After a rough landing on her porch which I shake off I knock on her door. Please be home, please be home, please be home.

Luckily the door opens to a confused cyan pegasus. “What’re you doing here Discovery?” She asks me.
In between breaths I pant out, “Hiding… from… Pinkamena…”

Rainbow looked at me judgmentally, “Why are you hiding from Pinkie?”

I stop and think for a moment… Why am I running from the pink pony? What can I possibly be afraid of? I shake my head, I’ll think it over when I’m safe inside the house.

“I just need to hide okay.” I plead the pegasus.

She shakes her head, “Well I know from experience that if that mare wants to find you, she will. I don’t know how she moves that fast either. It’s like she teleports or something.”

Just then I heard the noise of wind being pushed out of the way really quickly from behind me. I slowly turned my head around until I saw something that made me sink to my knees. Pinkamena was riding in a helicopter made of candy canes and powered by her hooves.

“That was a good hiding place Covey, but auntie Pinkie has a few tricks up her sleeves.” She exclaimed, somehow managing to strike a pose and power the vehicle at the same time.

“Pinkie you are so random.” Rainbow chuckled from behind me as I sank into the cloud in despair.

Pinkie smiled at Rainbow’s comment then turned back to me, “Hey Covey, I like playing hide and seek and all, but I need to talk to you for one teensy tiny minute.”

I sigh. I might as well get this over with, “All right.” I reply before saying goodbye to Rainbow Dash and fly off with Pinkamena.
We landed by the library, where she hopped off her machine and walked over to me. I tried my best to look as nonchalant as possible, even though I was kind of worried what she would tell me. There was nopony around since the sun was on the horizon, so I was even more worried that this was going to be an interrogation about who I wanted revenge on. I couldn’t possibly tell her that. I wasn’t even really looking her way to be honest.

What she asked me however surprised me, “Um… so, did you not like the party?”

I turned around to look at her fully. What I saw surprised me even more than what she asked. Her colours seemed duller, her eyes were watering, and what surprised me most of all, her big poofy mane was perfectly straight and flowed down her face.
“Um…” I just stared at her stunned at the sudden transformation, “It...uh… I’m just… uh… not comfortable around so many ponies. So I was a little tense.” I told her. It was the actually pretty true; I didn’t feel comfortable with that many ponies around.

“Really? You don’t hate me or anything?” She looked up at me with pleading eyes.

Before I could even think about what I was going to say I blurted out, “Of course not.” I stood there, shocked by what I just said. Pinkie on the other hand seemed to liven up considerably. She gave me a bone crushing hug.

“Okie dokie lokie! Next time I won’t bring so many ponies just for you.” She told me.

Then she gave me a peck on the cheek and hopped back home. I stood there stunned. What did I just say? What just happened as a result? Why do I feel so full all of a sudden?

Doing Her Research

I trudge through the front door of the library and I had to keep shaking my head in confusion over and over again like someone had set my neck on oscillate. Twilight is by a writing desk penning something. When I walk in she looks up from her writing.

“Where were you!?” she exclaims. She trots towards me, “I went looking all over Ponyville for you but I couldn’t find you anywhere!”

I looked around the room to find some kind of excuse to get me out of this situation, when no such solution made itself apparent, I decided to just answer her question.

“Uh… well I flew to the library and hid in the leaves for a bit, but then Pinkamena came-”

“What do you mean Pinkie came?” Twilight demanded.

“Uh, she somehow climbed the trunk of the tree, and I panicked and flew off…”

“So you were running from Pinkie for two hours?” she asked, unbelieving. I looked out the window to see that the sun was starting to set.

“…Well I tried to fly really far away, but somehow she managed to keep up with me… or teleport… I really don’t know which to be honest.”

“You know what? With Pinkie, I’m not surprised.” Twilight said as she held a hoof up to her nose.

“So, anyway, I tried to hide in Rainbow Dash’s house, but she had this helicopter thing…” I sigh, “I’m tired.”

“Well I set up your bed upstairs. Just tell me if you need anything.” She politely informs me.

“Right…” I mumble, and then head towards the stairs. I doubt she’d be able to help me figure out why all the mares in this town are crazy. Wait… maybe she can.

I spin around at the foot of the stairs “Do you have any books on local social customs?”

“Are you looking for a history of Ponyvillian social customs? Or are you looking for something specific like modern etiquette?” the librarian Pony asked.

“Uh… both?” I reply, uncertain.

The unicorn looked though the bookshelves. I sat there and waited impatiently. Eventually she levitated out two different books and placed them on my back.

“There,” she said, “That should get you started, if you want anything more specific don’t be afraid to ask.”

I gave a firm nod before continuing my trek up the stairs. The top floor of the library had even more shelves of books as well. I know this mare loves books, but really, this is getting ridiculous. I spot a set of stairs leading up to a couple of beds placed end to end and make my way carefully over to them, using my wings to help balance the books further.

I stood at the top of the stairs and tried to figure out which bed was supposed to be mine, there was a bed with a pink blanket and a relatively plain frame. Then there was the one with the intricate frame that had star and moon covered bed sheets that just screamed ‘I’m a total geek’.

So I slide my books off onto the plain looking bed. So what did she get me? “Basic Etiquette for Foals”… I feel insulted just by the title. I nudge the top book to the far side of the bed. Let’s see, “Cultural History Across Equestria”. This seems perfect! Well one out of two isn’t bad, I’m still not happy that I’ve barely had independent thought for a whole day and already someone is insulting my thinking capabilities. She’ll pay for that slight later.

I nose open the cover and look at the table of contents. Let’s see, History of Customs in Ponyville- page 54. Since I don’t feel like spending forever trying to get to page 54 by flipping the pages one by one, I stuck the tip of my hoof in a place that I thought would be close to that number. I was off by about ten pages. Huh, I never knew there was a village called Trotsilvania… says here that they wear garlic around their necks to ward off evil spirits, weird. I turn back page by page till I get to Ponyville.

Let’s see, social customs… kissing… nothing… nothing on kissing. Why did they do it then? It’s just plain odd! Were those two from another city perhaps…?

I turn back to the table of contents. Hmm… Cloudsdale, that sounds like a place that has a lot of pegasi. I flip to the Cloudsdale entry and scan the page for any information that could help me.

Well they use to give a kiss on either cheek as a greeting way back when… two hundred years ago… and between ponies they know extremely well… This explains nothing! I grab the book in my mouth and drop it on the ground beside me.
I might as well check the other book too. I doubt it would have anything in it however.

Twenty minutes later

While I was right about it not having anything on kissing and behavioral habits, I did learn, in a surprising amount of detail, more than I ever wanted to know about properly setting a table. Well at least now I know my intelligence wasn’t insulted when Twilight suggested this book, but this does not solve my problem!

I decide that the best thing to do is to start planning my revenge. I had to do this systematically. I’m not so confident as to think that my newly formed thought processes are advanced enough that I can produce mass scale revenge. No, I will pick them off, one by one. I know who I will start with too, the white one… Rarity I believe they called her. I will ruin her first for running into me like an inconsiderate witch!

I yawned, my eyes were beginning to feel agitated and the sun was already down. I might as well save the details of the plan for tomorrow.

I place the book on the bed next to the one already on the floor. I noticed that the other book was lying on the ground with its spine in the air. I decided that since I didn’t want to incur the librarian’s wrath while I’m sleeping in her house that I should probably fix that. I placed that book on top of the other one.

I lift the side of the blanket with my teeth and gain entry into the warm covers. I fell myself slowly drifting off, with thoughts of sabotage and oddly enough pink and yellow fairies dancing through my head.

The best laid plans

I heard some mumbling and felt a sharp pressure in my side pressing into me multiple times as I started waking the following morning.

The voice I was hearing was becoming clearer and clearer with every jab in the side it gave me.

“Hey, Discovery, wake up, it’s time for breakfast.” It was odd how the voice sounded kind of masculine. Wasn’t I supposed to be in Twilight’s library?

I tried to shake the last vestiges of sleep from my head. I then rubbed my eyes awake, opening them to reveal a purple and green scaly creature.

“Gah! Where the buck did you come from?!” I shrieked at the creature.

“From the kitchen” the creature stated. Holy Chrysalis on a cracker, that thing just talked.

I stared in awe at the weird creature in front me. He gave me an odd look and looked like he was going to say something else when we heard hoof steps coming rapidly up the stairs.

“What’s wrong? I heard screaming!” Twilight looked frantically around the room completely missing the purple and green scaly thing right in front of me.

“He scared me!” I pointed a hoof directly in the creatures face so that even her natural obliviousness couldn’t overlook the elephant in the room.

“Spike? How did Spike scare you?” She asked before looking at Spike questioningly. He gave a shrug and she looked back at me for an answer.

“I-I, uh well, I wasn’t expecting to be woken up by this… uh… Spike.” I finished lamely.

“I’m a dragon.” Spike told me, not the least bit amused.

It took me a second to process this new information. “Well that actually makes you infinitely less scary.”

The small dragon stormed off down the steps, mumbling something I couldn’t quite hear. The unicorn on the other hand sighed at his behaviour, before turning back to me with a contemplative look.

“What did you think Spike was? You didn’t know he was a baby dragon?” She asked me.

I looked away from her, feeling my cheeks blush in embarrassment. “Uh, well I thought he was a giant talking lizard. Knowing he’s a tiny dragon though, makes me feel a lot better.” I took a second to think about what I just said, “Which is kind of odd when I think about it.”

Twilight looks at me funny before shaking her head, “All right, breakfast is downstairs when you’re ready.” She informed me before trotting down the stairs after Spike.

I didn’t feel particularly hungry, considering I received two surprise injections of love in one day. However I figured that I should eat to keep up appearances. I walked down the steps and into the kitchen where Twilight was eating a small stack of pancakes. Next to her, Spike was scarfing back what looked to be a ruby.

I see that there is a third plate and make my way over to it. It also has a small tack of pancakes, covered in syrup. This was going to do wonders for my arteries. I sat down and ate about half of my pancakes in relative silence as Spike and Twilight talked about the things they needed to do today. I politely thanked them for the food. (It’s not like it tasted bad, it’s just now I feel like crap)

I trotted out into the mid-morning sun. I guess I slept in a little. Now, I needed to find Carousel Boutique to enact my brilliant plan. I walked down the pathway of the town, trying to find a sign that had anything to do with carousels or boutiques, yet there were surprisingly no signs that mentioned either.

I had to ask for help from a grey earth pony with a black mane and a treble clef cutie mark. She seemed cordial enough. Hopefully she didn’t get in the way of any of my plans. I think I saw her at the party actually… I forget her name though, oh well. I headed over to where I was told to find a building that looked similar to a gigantic stationary carousel. I facehoofed.

After a bout of self- loathing I looked around the area for a good place to hide. If my plan was to succeed I was going to need to find a hiding place first and foremost. I glanced around the area, but the closest hiding place was a bunch of bushes about thirty meters from the path. They would have to do.

__________________

After an hour or so of work, my trap has been completed. So I heard that this particular pony does not like to get her mane or coat dirty at all, so I based my trap all around making her squirm.

First, there is a small tripwire that when broken, drops a metal ball. This ball, rolls down the incline of the makeshift ramp I made. Then it comes to an abrupt halt, knocking over a domino, which proceeds to knock over about twenty more dominos until it gets to the next stage of the trap. The last domino will fall, hitting the switch, which will start the mechanized pulley.

The rope being pulled by the pulley is attached to the door to a birdcage. These particular birds were positioned so that they were in full view of the blueberry muffin placed on a plate that is placed on a small seesaw. The weight of the birds will raise the other end enough to bump into another ball on a ramp. This time, the ball will hit a button on a fan. The fan is attached to a toy boat on wheels, and the wind from the fan will blow the toy boat across the street behind the unsuspecting pony, to hit a stick that is balanced on two wooden blocks.

Then, the stick will bump into a broomstick, causing it to topple over and hit horizontal lever which will control the scissors. The scissors will then cut the rope launching the pie with the miniature catapult, and landing right where I expect the pony will journey by the time she trips the first wire.

It’s perfect! Nothing could go wrong. All I have to do is wait patiently for her to come out.

Any minute now… She’s about to come out, I can feel it. It’s going to be a while isn’t it?

“Hiya Covey!” a high pitched voice came from right behind me. I turned around, startled by the sudden noise. There I see Pinkamena, looking as bubbly and cheerful as ever. “Whatcha doing there?” she asked, pointing a hoof at a part of my contraption that was close to us.

“Uh, setting a trap.” I mumble still stunned by the mare’s sudden appearance. Wait did I just accidentally tell her the truth again? Damn I hate this mare!

“Oh really?! That sounds like fun!” she exclaimed, “Can I watch too?”

I stare at the pink pony for a moment, trying to read her features, trying to figure out what her game is. Finding nothing either then a giant grin on her face I sighed.

“I guess you can, but be quiet!” I assert as I shuffle over a few inches to let her in the hiding place beside me better.
“Yay!” I feel pinkie’s body getting uncomfortably close to mine. This was going to be torture.

“Hey, Covey.” I heard a whisper in my ear.

“Pinkie what did I say about being quiet?”

“That I should be it… but-“

“But what?! What can be so important that you can’t be quiet? This is a stakeout!” I growl at the pink pony.

“Cause Derpy got your muffin!” She said in a singsong voice.

At first I was confused, was she talking about—no, she couldn’t be. So why would Derpy… I look towards the middle of my trap to see that a grey mare with a yellow mane with a bubbles cutie mark, who I only met the day before at Pinkamena’s party, was chewing on the remains of the blueberry muffin with a huge grin plastered on her face. She opened her eyes and looked in our direction with a wall-eyed stare and waved at us excitedly before turning around and flying off.

Well so much for that perfect plan. Ruined by the derped one. Note to self, don’t include muffins in future plans.

“Well Pinkamena, it looks like my trap failed so--” I was interrupted by a pie being splattered onto my face, knocking me into the party pony. I quickly get off her and search around for what hit me with the pie, before I notice that the catapult had fired. I stared at the catapult and tried to judge the path which the pie would fly through the air once more. I mentally facehoof, While it is true that the catapult was right on target, because of where I was hiding I was now in the catapult’s direct line of fire. Note to self number two, double check to make sure you aren’t hiding in the line of fire of any projectiles.

I noticed that there was giggling right beside me, and looked to see that Pinkamena was indeed laughing her flank off. I rolled my eyes at the mare. I wasn’t in the mood for her shenanigans.

“Hey, you’ve got some pie on your face still, here.” Pinkamena stated before giving the side of my face covered in pie one huge lick.

“Ewww…” I couldn’t help but groan as the tongue rubbed against my fur. It felt so weird. I don’t know how ponies can stand being so furry.

Pinkamena giggled once more at my outburst before she looked over my shoulder and gasped.

“Hey, it’s Rarity! I’m gonna go say hi, it was nice pranking with you Covey!” She said to me so fast it took me a moment to register, it took me even longer to register the following hug and affection that came with it. I once again found myself awkwardly standing there trying to process why this pony was giving me so much affection. I was broken out of my thoughts however by Pinkie’s voice.

“So Rarity, where are you off to?” She asked as she hopped alongside the white unicorn.

“I’m just going to pick up some extra bolts of cloth dear, it really isn’t a big thing.” She replied, flipping her hair and seeming to ignore the constant bouncing the pony beside her was doing.

“Oh, can I come anyway? I just remembered that I needed to wish Cottony a happy early anniversary.” The pink pony asked in excitement.

“Of course dear, I’d love the company.” Rarity said.

At which point she tread over the tripwire, snapping it in two. I watched as the trap starts to take place ending with the cage opening and the birds flying out and fading into the blue sky.

I couldn’t restrain the frustration I was feeling. “Oh come on!” I screamed. Luckily Rarity and Pinkie seemed to already be too far away to hear my outburst. I sighed and finally came out of my hiding place. It was time to return to the drawing board.

I slowly walk back towards the library. I had just caught sight of the entrance when I heard a scratchy voice from up above.

“Hey Discovery!” I looked up to see Rainbow was peeking over a cloud. “What are ya up to?”

I look back at the library, and then back up at Rainbow, “Uh… going back to the library?”

“Wow, you must really be an egghead.” She rolled her eyes at me before hopping off the cloud and slowly flying down towards me. She landed right in front of me.

I pointed at her with my hoof. “What’s that supposed to mean? My head looks nothing like an egg!” It shouldn’t anyway… I’ll have to double check to see if I got my proportions correct.

Rainbow let out a laugh. I frowned, not seeing what was so funny.

“I meant that you seem to like books a lot, like Twi.” She was still chuckling at my mistake. I give myself another mental facehoof.

“So, Rainbow, did you need something?” I asked her.

“Nah,” she waved a hoof in the air, “I just was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something.”

I thought about it for a moment. You know, this might just be an opportunity to find out what her weakness is… I’ll get back to Rarity later.

“Sure, I guess I can.” I try to say nonchalantly.

“Awesome,” She replied before lifting off into the air, only to turn around when I wasn’t following and adding, “Come on.”

I took off after the blue and rainbow coloured pony, and her leading me through the sky towards her place. I had to fly faster just to keep up with the mare. Even at a leisurely pace she was faster than me. Or maybe I was just out of shape.

When we finally got to her house, she opened the door to let me in. I landed on the clouds and walked into her home.

Interrogation and Investigation

“The ceiling is so high!” I intelligently exclaim before my brain can stop the word vomit.

“Well duh, I need some flying space in my home too. I’d go crazy if I lived in some cooped up cabin for too long.” Rainbow retorted.

Her weakness is tightly enclosed spaces. That actually makes a lot of sense in so many ways. I look around the rest of the room, casually checking to see if the brain on my flank hadn’t deflated when Rainbow was looking the opposite way.

The rest of the room seemed like I’d expect a normal living room would, a couch, a couple of end tables, and an armchair directly across from the couch. I also began to wonder where I got this preconception of what a living room should look like, since I don’t ever remember being in one.

On the opposite side of the front door along the wall there was a trophy case, inside were a bunch of trophies, probably for races or taekwondo or something. The wall beside the case was covered in posters for an aerial acrobatics/stunt flying team. When I said covered I don’t think I emphasised how literal I was being, the bottom half of the entire wall was filled with these things.

“That is a lot of posters.” I muttered in awe.

“Yep, every single one of them is different too,” Rainbow said from right beside me, I was a bit startled at her proximity. She continued, “The Wonderbolts come out with one or two posters every year, I have even gotten my hooves on a few that were made fifty years ago.”

“How’d you do that?” I wondered aloud.

Rainbow was happy to respond, “Well I met this old stallion that was doing some house cleaning and actually got a lot of the older ones dirt cheap. Although there are a few that are so rare that I have no idea where to get them. I probably wouldn’t be able to afford them anyway.” Rainbow sighed deeply.

“Oh… uh, why do you collect them anyway?” I asked her, probing for any information I could exploit. She gave me a confused look, in response I stammered out, “w-well you don’t look like the type who would obsessively collect and hoard things. So, like why Wonderbolts posters?”

She looked a bit embarrassed at the question, “Well remember how I said I wanted to join the Wonderbolts?”

“Um, yeah?”

She looks around shiftily, which I find rather odd as I’m sure nopony else is in the room.

“Can you keep a secret?” she whispers into my ear.

Yes! Finally I will learn something I could use to destroy this mare, I was getting sick of her shrill voice cracks. “Sure” I reply, a grin forming on my face.

“All right, now don’t tell anypony but…” She paused for a moment, seeming to steel herself before continuing. “The reason why I want to join the Wonderbolts isn’t just because they are the best flyers.”

“Well why else do you want to join?” I leaned in closer in anticipation.

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof. “I- well I kinda have this crush on the captain of the team.”

“Oh, I see, what’s his name?” I asked eager to know all I could.

Rainbow smirked a bit, “You really don’t get out much do you?” I stared at her in confusion.

Rainbow blushed a bit as she said, “Her name is Spitfire…”

I stared at her blankly, “Oh…” I muttered. I felt like such a knob for guessing the wrong gender. Then the gravity of what she had just admitted to me hit, “Oooooh…wow.” I kinda felt bad for wanting to ruin her after she confided such a personal thing. I could at least appreciate the amount of guts it took. Chrysalis damn it! I’m developing a conscience. We were silent for a good minute.

Rainbow, getting progressively more uncomfortable as time passed broke the silence, “Um… It’s not that I don’t like stallions… I just kinda prefer mares ya know?”

I looked at her even more confused.

Rainbow got even more nervous and started spouting even more “… I mean, I really look up to the Wonderbolts and stuff so it’s not really a surprise, and it’s not that I like her just because of her rank or anything, I just find her really pretty… I mean I’d like to get to know her better, I’m not shallow or anything, and I mean it’s not like she’s the only pony I have a crush …” After which she clued in to how much she was spewing and thrust a hoof in her own mouth.

I stood there stunned, “What was the last thing you just said?” I questioned her.

She took her hoof out of her mouth, “ Nothing!” She yelled, before putting her hoof back in her mouth and backing up.

I advance on her further, “I could have sworn you had just said something.” She ran out of room when she bumped into the bottom of the window.

“It’s nothing!” She snapped at me, she then turned around and jumped out the window. I rushed forward and looked down to see that she was now flying off in the direction of the Everfree forest, probably to go see Fluttershy.

I stood there watching her fly off for a while, even in a panic she made flying look graceful. Which is surprising because everything else about her definitely is not.

Then it occurred to me, I was in her house all alone. I might not have been able to get all the juicy information from her lips, but I could get something from searching around her house.

I looked around the living room a bit more, but I couldn’t find anything even remotely important, so I moved further into the house down the hallway. There were only three rooms in the whole rest of the house, the kitchen, which looked like it hadn’t been used in weeks, was the first I visited. I searched through pantries and all the cupboards, but I couldn’t find anything but moldy bread and chocolate chips.

After that I headed to the bathroom, I looked all over the place but the only thing out of the ordinary was a rubber duck inside a compartment in the mirror. Why would she want to hide this? I left it alone as I doubted that I could use a rubber duck as leverage for blackmail.

Lastly at the end of the hall I searched her bedroom. Immediately I noticed how barren it was, I mean, besides a bed (with a Wonderbolts themed blanket) and a small dresser, I couldn't see anything else in the room. I half expected it to be filled with Wonderbolts figurines and have a Wonderbolt rug as well.

I started with the dresser as I figured if anything incriminating was going to be in this room, it would be in the place with drawers. However, after searching through every drawer (trying my best to be careful and not leave a mess) I found only clothes.

I trotted up to the last piece of furniture in the room, I might as well do a sweep of the bed. I looked under the sheets and finally under the bed. Under the bed I found a large unmarked box. At last I was getting somewhere, I opened the box as quickly as I could. What I found would certainly be embarrassing, but nothing that any single, young mare wouldn’t have if she needed some ‘private time’. One was unsurprisingly Wonderbolt themed… and orange.

I slipped the box back under the bed and trudged back across the house to the front door.

Now what am I gonna do? All I've got to go on is tight spaces and a Wonderbolt fetish. She also admitted to her sexual orientation surprising enough, and I also know she likes at least two mares. Not much to go on.

I guess I can find out who she likes and then completely sabotage her chances with them. I have no idea about the Wonderbolts thing yet, but I’m sure something will come up.

It’s starting to get dark though, I’d better head back to the Library.

I take off from the porch of the cloud home and start gliding down towards the large tree. I see the gray coloured pegasus that stole my muffin off of my trap on shoving some pieces of paper into a slot in the Library’s door. I glared at the back of her head so hard, that if I had heat vision it would boil water.

I quickly changed my expression to a smile as she turned around, she waved to me and thanked me for the muffin before zooming off, pieces of paper falling out of her saddle as she flew.

I didn't bother dwelling on this however as I had a long day, and was just about ready to hit the hay. I opened the door to the library to find books flying all over the room, controlled by a purple aura.

I saw twilight scribbling something on a piece of paper intently as she read from various texts, only to discard those moments later into a pile beside her. I was kind of curious as to what she was doing… but I was too tired to do any more investigating today. So I crept up the stairs in silence.

Munchies and Arch-Nemeses

I feel so hungry. Why has my hunger grown so insatiable? I need love, or at least some food.

What time is it anyway? I look out the window to see the full moon high in the sky. Midnight, it is midnight and I have gotten the munchies.

I stumbled out of my bed, I freeze as Twilight snorted in her sleep. She seemed to settle back down after a few moments. I crept down the stairs, careful not to wake her or her pet dragon up. I head into the kitchen, hoping that I could find something to eat. After searching the fridge and cupboards in the kitchen I only found a hooful of rubies in the pantry. Why is that in the kitchen anyway? Can ponies eat rubies now?

I tried to wrap my sleep addled mind around why there were gemstones in the pantry. I hadn’t gotten far before giving up completely. My stomach growled at me again. Ug, I needed either a huge helping of love, or an even bigger helping of hay fries.

Where in the hay can I find either of those this early in the morning? I decided that I might as well explore the town, maybe there would be someplace open where I can get food.

I slunk to the front door and slipped into the cool fresh air. I walked down the empty street at a slow but steady pace, looking around for any place that was open at this time of night.

I could tell that it was getting close to fall, I could feel the crisp coldness through my coat. How long was I unconscious after the attack on Canterlot? It felt to me like it was only a couple of days ago, but it must have been longer than that. Wasn’t the attack in the spring? That didn’t make sense. That would mean I was unconscious for months.

My train of thought was halted abruptly by a warm pressure on my suddenly pressing down on my back. I grunted in surprise.

“Hi Covey!” said a cheery and all too familiar voice.

I turned my head around to come face to face with Pinkamena. She had her forearms hooked across my back and had a calm smile on her face.

I took a deep breath before speaking in a slow and very low voice, “Pinkamena, what are you doing on my back?”

Pinkamena took a deep breath, “Well, I went to bed after making some awesomerific cupcakes and just as I was going to sleep I felt my scalp itch and shoulder twitch and I knew that somepony close to me was shivering, I looked towards Gummy and saw that he was tucked into his bed so I knew it couldn’t be him and all of the cakes were asleep so I knew it couldn’t be them, so I just knew that it must have been somepony around Sugarcube Corner, cause my window causes a pretty cold breeze to come into my room, and then I thought that the cupcakes might be the ones getting chilly, and so I stopped what I was doing and ran over to them, but I now know that was silly because cupcakes aren’t ponies and even if they were they wouldn’t shiver, I would know because Rocky or Madam le Flour never ever shiver, even when they are in cold storage, and if they can’t shiver then I doubt cupcakes would too. What was your question again?”

I blinked a few times in rapid succession, I didn’t register much of what she said since she was talking too fast. I asked the mare once more why she was on my back.

“Oh it is because you looked cold, and since I didn’t have a blanket on me I decided to cover you up in a makeshift ‘Pinkie blanket’.” She told me, beaming and pulling me closer to her chest. I could feel the warmth radiating off her body. I stared at her for a bit, unsure of what to do. She in return just smiled back at me and snuggled into my back further.

I could feel the waves of warmth and better yet, affection coming off this pony. It tasted sweet, but not unbearably so. We stood there for a minute or two, me both feeding on her affection like a vampony would suck blood, and enjoying the heat her body gave off.

It was then that I realised who I was letting snuggle me in the middle of the night, she was the enemy. I went for the first excuse I could think of, “Pinkamena, you’re kind of heavy…”

This was a lie, she oddly enough weighed about as much as I think an average mare would. Despite all the sweets she probably ate.

“Oh, I’m sorry Covey, I didn’t mean to squish you!” the pink pony exclaimed. She got off of my back and I turned to face her properly. She looked insanely happy, I have no idea why.

“So, Pinkie, you came out here because you knew I was cold?” I asked the mare not quite believing what she was selling me.
“Yep!” She responded. I had a feeling she would be a difficult nut to crack.

“Wouldn’t your room be on the second floor of Sugarcube Corner?” I inquire, as I glared at her intently, trying to burrow into the very depths of her soul to find the truth. Was she spying on me? Maybe it’s not me specifically but the whole of Ponyville, she’s probably trying to get every pony under her tyrannical hoof! Maybe she is not a earth pony at all! Maybe she’s a unicorn with her horn chopped off!

“My Pinkie sense told me silly.” She shook her head as if what I had just asked her was so obvious that a foal would know the answer.

“What the hay is a Pinkie sense!?”

“It’s all the little twitches and tinglies I get that help me predict the future.” Pinkamena explained.

I was silent for a moment, “ Are you sure you are not a unicorn or something?”

“Nopey-wopey”, Pinkamena then grabbed my hoof and started rubbing it on her forehead and through her fluffy mane. “See, no horn.”

She let go of my hoof and I immediately pulled that hoof up to my chest in case she made another lunge for it.

“Hey, you look like you’re still shivering.” the pink earth pony observed, although it was possible I was just shaking, because I could have sworn I was violated in some way. “How about we head to my place for some hot cocoa?!”

I didn’t really think of my response however, and my brain agreed before I had a chance to process what she asked. I was promptly dragged to Sugarcube Corner.

Now I was deep into enemy lines without a map to get back out. I had been dragged up to Pinkie’s room, and she then started whispering about I don’t know what. It had been at least thirty minutes and I don’t think she paused to take a breath once. It freaked the crap out of me, figuratively speaking of course.

“Uh Pinkamena…” I tried to interrupt the bubbly mare.

“…but then Twilight was all like ‘I don’t think that’s how science works Pinkie’ and I was all like, ‘I know how science works Twi! If I didn’t then I wouldn’t have been able to invent the machine in the first place…” she was so engrossed in telling her story that she didn’t even hear me.

“Pinkie…” I tried once more to have a say.

“… Well I probably overdid it on the nitroglycerin, but how do you power a robot without extremely reactive chemicals…”

“Pinkie!” I hissed.

“Yes Covey?” she batted her eyelashes at me, probably trying to look innocent.

“When you dragged me here (quite literally) for a cup of hot cocoa, I didn’t expect to be told your life story.” I deadpanned.

“Oh right, I completely forgot!” the pink pony exclaimed, “I’ll go make some up!” With that the mare hopped out of her bedroom and down the stairs, somehow not making a sound.

I closed the door and scanned around the room, if I was going to be stuck in that crazy mare’s home, I might as well see if I can find anything to use against her. Either then setting fire to all the sugar in a ten mile radius of the mare I couldn’t think of any off the bat.

I kept an ear open as I searched Pinkamena’s room in case she came back unexpectedly. In plain sight there was a large pink bed and a small table with a few party decorations spread haphazardly on it. The pink walls and floor had streamers covering them, and the only other object in the room was a tiny basket with a purple cloth over top of it.

I decided to look under the bed to see if she hid anything under there like Dash did. I was utterly disappointed when I found that there was nothing under there.

I checked under the table, either than a few balloons and a wrench I found absolutely nothing, although I did wonder why Pinkamena had a wrench.

Lastly I walked over to the basket, listening for any noises outside the door as I walked towards it. I wondered what was taking Pinkamena so long with the hot cocoa. I knelt down next to the basket, and with my hoof lifted a tiny corner of the warm cloth. I tried to peek inside, but as soon as I stuck my nose near the opening, something clamped onto my muzzle and refused to let go.

I yelped in surprise, standing up and trying to shake whatever it was off of me. It was a futile effort. Suddenly, Pinkamena re-entered the room.

“Hey, I see you met Gummy!” She exclaimed. I looked down to see that what had attached to me was a small green alligator that fortunately had no teeth. Although it did have a creepy stare that seemed to pierce my very soul.

After what seemed like hours, the miniature alligator let go of me and fell back into the basket, curling itself back up in the blankets.

I turned to Pinkamena and noticed that she had already put a couple cups filled with hot cocoa on the table, and in her hooves was a pan of cupcakes with white frosting, they were so fresh that there was steam coming off of them. She shoved them in my direction.

“Here, I made these special just for you!” Pinkamena exclaimed with glee.

“Um, how did you make those cupcakes so fast?” I asked, confused as to how she was able to bake goods in less than 10 minutes.

“I set the oven to a thousand degrees so it cooked faster.” She explained. I was pretty sure baking didn’t work like that.
I looked down at the cupcakes, briefly wondering whether or not it was poisoned. I looked back up to see Pinkamena’s brilliant blue eyes, almost pleading me to take one. So I had to swallow my insecurities once again in order to not arouse suspicion.

I reach out with my right hoof and grab the closest cupcake. I slowly unwrapped the paper that helped give the cupcakes form with my teeth. I can finally see that the cake part of the cupcake is brown, presumably chocolate. I see past the cupcake to the look of expectation and anticipation on the pink mare’s face. I steeled my reserve and took a nibble out of one of the sides.

Remember how I stated that to changelings, even the healthiest pony food tasted greasy and disgusting? Well these cupcakes tasted like ambrosia. After my first bite I scarfed the rest of the row in two gulps. I went through three more cupcakes before I got a hold of myself.

“Pinkie, these things are delicious! They are sweet, but not sickeningly so. I could eat these all day and not feel so much as a stomach ache!” Okay, so maybe I was still pretty out of it. I had just never tasted pony food that actually tasted good. My mind was blown. “What did you put in them?” I asked, taking another cupcake as I did so.

Pinkie smiled. Not a Pinkie beam, just a nice, calm smile. I knew I should’ve felt a little weirded out by that, but between the cupcakes and the affection I could feel seeping off of her, I didn’t care. What she said though made me pause.

“Well I made them with lots of love.” She eventually stated, calmly, almost serene.

My latest cupcake stopped from entering my mouth at the last moment by my sheer awe at the pink pony. “Can you actually do that? I thought that was just a figure of speech.”

“You can’t fill cupcakes with actual love silly! I just put my super-secret special ingredient in.”

“Oh” Well I felt a little naïve, here I was actually hoping that I could get her to bake me some love brownies or something. “Well what did you put in it?” I ask, shoving the cupcake that was in my hoof into my face.

“Now what kinda super special secret would it be if I told you all about it?” Pinkie asked rhetorically. At least I assume she was being rhetorical. She seemed to be giving me a look suggesting either wise so I guessed she wasn’t.

“Um, not a very good one?” I ventured. She beamed at me once more.

“Exactly! If I told trade secrets to everypony then the cakes would go out of business!” Pinkie seems to ponder this for a moment before continuing “…or that’s what they say would happen at least.”

I look at her puzzled, and reach for another cupcake only to find that I had eaten them all. Pinkie put the empty tray on the ground beside the table and beckoned me over, I sat on the side of the table closest to the bed while she sat across from me and sipped her cocoa.

I look down at the swirling brown in front of me and take a tentative sip, now it wasn’t quite as good as the cupcakes, but it still tasted pretty good. I was surprised.

“So Covey, “I jumped a little as Pinkie addressed me, with her eyes half lidded and a small smirk on her face. “Do you have anypony that you’re interested in?”

Well I wasn’t sure why she asked that out of the blue.

“What do you mean is there anypony I’m interested in?” I asked her warily.

She leaned across the table so far that she was practically lying on top of it. “I mean do you have a special somepony silly!”
I took a nervous step back from the mare. “Um… no, I don’t really have one.” I reply with a hint of caution.

“Ooooh! Really?!” Pinkie exclaimed, she was now over the table and was slowly walking over to me. I could see her hips sashaying as she walked and her Pink poufy tail swishing back and forth behind her.

I took a few steps back, I knew that look on the mare’s face, Even though my memories before my liberation from the hive mind were hazy, I could still remember countless mares striding towards me like this. It was like Pinkie was in a trance. I backed up further and further from the mare, but she seemed to be gaining ground. My eyes were strangely locked on hers and I could not tear myself away. All I could do was move back.

Eventually, my rear hit the wall and I could not flee any farther. Pinkie closed the distance between us and stood with her muzzle less than an inch from mine. I could feel her hot breath on my nose as she stood there, staring into my eyes.

“I really like you Covey…” The pink mare breathed, I felt paralyzed as she closed the distance between us slowly. That was until our lips met.

Her lips tasted exactly as her cupcakes did, except since all I could feel from the gesture was immense affection it tasted even better. After a moment, I unconsciously leaned into her kiss, one of my hooves bringing itself to her cheek. The other one was draped around her neck for balance since my body seemed invested in this kiss like I was going to die of starvation if I didn’t get it.

Pinkie meanwhile was moaning slightly as she pressed up against me, it made me wonder if I tasted as good as she did. I was midway through this thought when I felt a hoof stroke itself along my back. It felt nice to be honest. She slowly made her way down my back, and I was getting a little nervous of where this was going, but I couldn’t stop because she tasted too damn good.

That was until she touched my wings. Immediately they sprung open, and I pushed off of her in surprise. I seemed to push too hard however and ended up flinging my top half up and losing my balance. I was quickly falling backwards, and I tried to swing my arms and flap my wings to fall back on my hooves but I was too far gone. I felt myself tipping farther and farther until I couldn’t stay up at all. I briefly felt myself falling, only for it to stop a moment later when something latched onto my tail. The back of my head hit something hard and I felt like passing out. I luckily remained conscious. Though now noted I was outside and upside down. I looked through my legs to see that Pinkie had grabbed me by my tail and was pulling me back into her house through the window.

Chrysalis damn windows, it’s not the six ponies that turn out to have a thing against me, no. Windows seem to be my arch-nemesis.

I feel myself being dragged up the side of the house and back inside Pinkie’s room. Once all the way inside, Pinkie is babbling something that I can’t quite make out, my brain was getting hazy all of a sudden.

I held a hoof to my head and tried to steady it while Pinkie kept talking and talking, I would have probably not made any of it out even if I wasn’t fighting for consciousness. I felt something in my body flicker and die out. I felt confused and my addled brain tried to piece together what was going on. Luckily it came to me quickly.

My disguise finally decided to drop, right in front of the loudmouthed element of Laughter.

Before I knew it adrenaline started pumping through my veins, time seemed to slow to a standstill and everything suddenly became very clear. I looked at Pinkie and saw a tear stained face of sorrow, turn into one of complete shock. I knew what was going to come, and if I didn’t somehow stop it then my cover would officially be blown and I would be chased out of Ponyville, probably by a bloodthirsty mob.

I pounced on the pink pony, and with one fluid motion, pinned her onto her back with one of my hooves in her mouth. Luckily for me, it was only a second after I placed the hoof over her mouth that she let out her muffled scream. The mare tried to kick and flail and try to buck me off of her, but with the vast amount of adrenaline running through me I was able to hold down the earth pony.

“Shhh!” I instinctively whispered to the mare, although if the situation were reversed I probably wouldn’t listen to my captor shushing me.

After a few attempts I felt her wiggling slowly die down and the vibrations from her scream stop reverberating against my carapace. My silken wings buzzed slightly as I stood there, trying to catch my breath.

The pink mare was looking up at me with eyes full of hurt and hate. I hated hate, it tasted rotten and sour. I didn’t want to look into those big blue eyes right now, but I knew that if I lost focus for even a moment, she would break free and everything would be over.

I took a deep breath and whispered to her “Pinkie, I need you to promise not to yell, or run away and just listen to me okay? I’ll only let you go if you promise to keep your voice down and not tell a soul that I’m a changeling.” I paused to think for a moment, “Not only that but I want you to actively protect my identity as being a changeling from being discovered.” I know I was laying it on a bit thick, but I was sort of panicking and she was kinda my prisoner. At least I think she was technically.

After a long while Pinkie looked nervous before nodding her head. I almost let out a sigh of relief before I thought that maybe a regular old promise will suffice. I had to be sure.

“Pinkie, I need you to Pinkie promise to me that you will protect me and my true identity,” after a brief pause I thought of something genius to add to the ultimatum. If you were going to issue an ultimatum, you had better go all out. “And, you have to help me to get revenge on you and the rest of your friends.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in surprise, after less than a second she shook her head no.

Damn, I was going to have to compromise wasn’t I? How could I get this pony on board? I need to sweeten the deal, make her an offer that she can’t refuse.

I grit my teeth a little as I produced a counter offer.

“Fine, if you Pinkie promise to help protect me and get revenge on your friends, then I’ll Pinkie promise that I will not cause them any physical harm.”

The mare lay there, deep in thought. After what felt like an eternity she looked me right in the eye and nodded.

I sighed in relief, “Okay, here’s how this is going to work, I’m going to get off of you and then we will both make the promise. If you scream or try to run away from it then I will… do something very unpleasant to you.” I honestly didn’t know what I would do if the mare had bolted, but she seemed to agree with what I said with a firm nod of her head.

I jumped off of the mare and she sprung up like a … well, like a spring. We looked each other in the eye, and said the magic words that bound us both to our fate.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” We both said in unison, with me flinching a bit as I poked my eye.

Now she had to help me with my revenge and help me stay hidden. In turn, I had to vow to not harm her friends physically.
It looks like things just got more interesting for me at least.

I finally started to feel the adrenaline leaving my body, I don’t know how it lasted so long, but I felt like I just ran a marathon, not to mention the throbbing in my head that quickly was overwhelming me. I dropped to me knees in pain, clutching my head.

The last thing I remember feeling before I blacked out from the pain was a pair of soft arms wrapping around me. The last thing I thought was…

I bucking hate windows.

Author's Note

I couldn't help but notice that for some reason windows always seemed to cause Discovery misfortune, so I decided that I needed to make a window pun! Can you spot it? It's groan-tastic!

Also any feedback is welcome, thanks for reading!

A Villain's First Minion

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that it was nice and warm where I was laying. Underneath me felt like a down mattress and I could feel the fluffy warmth of a body across my barrel.

My eyes finally opened when the golden rays of morning light hit them, stupid window. Right in my face is Pinkie, curled up into me like I’m her stuffed animal. It would have been a really cute scene had it not been for the fact that her mane was completely straight and there were tear streaks marked into her fur.

Right now she was sleeping fitfully, every minute or so seeming to snuggle closer in an attempt to cuddle away nightmares. I could tell that she was sad, and worried. Most of all I could feel tremendous guilt seeping out of the pony. Lying in the arms of this pink, normally bubbly pony, I couldn’t help but feel regret. I had a pretty good idea what she was feeling guilty about. I suddenly turned this pony against all her friends. I mean sure I want to get revenge on these ponies, but I didn’t expect to be enlisting one of them to help.

Especially not Pinkie. I thought just being anywhere near the mare would make me cringe… now I felt like I should be trying to make her happy again. I mean, if she was going to be my minion or something and if she’s miserable under me, then that would make me a very bad minion master. Wouldn’t it? Gah… I’m sure queen Chrysalis wouldn’t have a problem with just exploiting this pony.

But I just feel plain wrong about this… Why do I feel so bad about my plans moving forward!

I sat there for a few minutes, listening to the pink pony’s ragged breathing. I needed some way to make her feel more comfortable, but what?

Wait, I’m still in my changeling form, my carapace is probably not the most comfortable. So if I change back into a pegasus then I can at least be something soft she can cuddle with.

With a surge from my horn I changed back into my pegasus form. I could feel my coat rubbing up against hers instantly. Reflexively I wrapped a purple wing around the mare. She nuzzled deeper into my fur in response. I could see the beginnings of a grin spread across her face as my wing curled around her, like a blanket on a cold winters evening.

I just sat there, staring down at the sleeping mare with a smile on my face. She may very well hate and despise me after what I just did to her, but I couldn’t help but smile with how cute she looked while she was asleep.

Now that I really think about it she was always pretty cute, wasn’t she? Maybe I just didn’t notice through her hyperactivity. I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Obviously it’s gotten better since I changed forms. Maybe she was relaxing in the grass on a warm summer’s day?

My speculation on what the mare was dreaming however was cut short when I felt her shuffling in my embrace. I watched as she slowly stirred from her sleep. Her soft lips slowly falling downward as her brilliant blue eyes started to open. She blinked as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with an arm.

“What did you do with Covey?” she groggily got out as she placed her hoof on my chest. Her mane fell along the side of her face, it was framing her face, and it oddly suited her. Her eyes looked up into mine with a sorrow and worry that I have never experienced from somepony who was normally so lively.

I was at a loss to what she was referring to for a minute. After all I was right there. It occurred to me however that she was referring to how changelings usually abduct a pony in order to take control of their lives. I stared back into her blue eyes, full of worry and fear.

It was a while before I spoke, and when I did I spoke slowly, almost apologetically.

“There was never somepony named Discovery to my knowledge Pinkie… I just made her up.”

The mare looked confused for a minute, lowering her head slightly to ponder this new information.

“So who I liked didn’t even exist.” She muttered to herself sadly. Before I could say anything further she looked at me and asked, “Who are you then?” Her voice sounded accusatory although her expression was still one of sorrow.

“What do you mean?” I queried.

“Well, what’s your actual name? What do you do?” she clarified.

I paused for a moment, unsure as how to answer her question.

“I, uh, never had a name. I was just a drone.” I managed.

“Oh” the mare paused to process this new information. Her hoof on her chin in thought.

After a few moments, she turned her head back towards me, “What’s a drone?”

I had to facehoof at that. “A drone is a worker of the hive, our job is to find love and bring it back to our queen so she can spread it throughout the hive and keep everyone fed.” I explained with my hoof laying on the bridge of my muzzle in exasperation.

“Well that just won’t do!” she exclaimed into my ear. I winced in pain as she continued, “We can’t have you be a nameless worker Covey! Your purpose is out there! All you have to do is find it!”

“Uh… what?” I took a moment to make sure there wasn’t another me in the room that she was talking to.

“We’ll start by giving you a name! Oh, this is going to be so much fun, what should we name you? Hmm…” Pinkie tapped her chin in thought once more.

I cut her off before she could say anything ridiculous, “Look Pinkie, I know you mean well, but I don’t see what naming me will accomplish. Besides, I’m going to be using this form almost exclusively. There’s really no point.”

“That’s it, we’ll name you Discovery! It’s perfect, and then I won’t get confused and use your changeling name in front of ponies by accident unintentionally exposing you and your plans and exiling you from Ponyville, which would be a very unfortunate turn of events and would most likely add a lot of tension if anypony were watching us right now from some alternate reality that we can’t see for some reason, or it could lead to a bunch of awkward situations where that very thing almost happens and everypony in the other dimension is then laughing at us because it is like we are living in a vast comedy of errors. However, none of that will happen because your name will be exactly the same!” Pinkie chattered away, while I just sat beside her while giving her a look that screamed ‘what is this pony on, and where can I get some?’

Pinkie was looking at me as if expecting me to congratulate her on her supposed brilliance. After a few minutes of staring into her eyes in disbelief, what I said was, “Ah… okay….”

At which point, much to my surprise, Pinkie scooped me up into her arms and unintentionally gave me breakfast. While I probably looked like a stunned rabbit being flung around by an out of control Ferris wheel, it was not an altogether unpleasant experience. Her love tastes kinda like those surprisingly delicious cupcakes… She probably actually filled them with love somehow.

This Pink pony was an enigma, an enigma that has incredibly bright blue eyes. I could feel my cheeks flushing from just the thought alone.

I decided that I had enough of the mushiness for one morning and eventually was able to push her off of me.
“Pinkie, I need you to focus!” I grumbled, face still feeling warm from embarrassment, “I need your help with exacting my revenge, and while you’re affection is delicious, we really need to get moving.”

“Really, you think it’s delicious?” the blushing pink pony inquired, “That’s one of the sweetest things anypony has said to me.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I just ignored it.

“Pinkie, we don’t have time to sit here for a few hours to talk about feelings, we have to make a plan!” I stressed to the mare, rubbing one of my temples in the process.

Pinkie gasped at that, “You need my help with a plan? You are just so smart that I thought you wouldn’t need a silly filly like me messing up your plans.”

“Pinkie, the reason why I need you to help is because you messed up my plan in the first place,” not that I had much of one to begin with, “And since now I have to get revenge without physically harming anypony it makes things a whole lot harder.”
“Aww, don’t be a grumpypuss, I bet we’ll have tons of fun coming up with an idea!” Pinkie exclaimed while squeezing all the air out of me.

I couldn’t help but think that I was getting in way over my head.