The Rainbow Apothecary

Equestria was made up of three groups, the Purebloods, the Earth Types and the Foreigners.

Rainbow Dash was a foreigner, although their given names were "Cloud Types" or "Pegasi", they were simply called foreigners by the purebloods and the nickname stuck. Foreigners were born with wing shaped marking on their backs, Rainbow being born with blue ones, this meant they had the ability to fly. Rainbow sadly wasn't able to fly much as she stayed in the palace but whenever she did she took over the skies, all a foreigner has to do was jump and they could choose whether they wanted to land or fly. Foreigners could also handle clouds and weather, hence why they were usually blamed for bad weather.

Then there were the Earth Types and they were known for their strength, it is said that with raw strength alone, the earth types could easily take over the purebloods if they really wanted to. You can tell when someone is an earth type based on weird markings on their hands (lovingly nicknamed "cutie marks") as they are born with them, similar to the faux wings on a foreigners back.

Last but not least there were the Purebloods, professionally named "Magic Types" or "Unicorns", they were seen as the superior race and had the most power, as they were the only race that could harness and use magic. All purebloods looked the same, super pale skin was the norm, however that wasn't their main feature. Purebloods were born with colored circles around their arms that resembled ribbon bracelets, these markings glowed as they used their magic. Purebloods treated earth types like dirt, but when it came to foreigners they were treated like subpar sewage, which in turn caused the earth types to treat foreigners the same way.

The sad part is you either got used to it or died fighting back.

Lady Celestia was a lot of things, beautiful, kind, pureblooded and more, one thing she wasn't though was stupid. For her to choose just anyone to be her personal attendant would be careless as it would most certainly end in her death, as the Emperor's favorite concubine, it was only natural that many other women would want her dead. If she wasn't careful she wouldn't make it out of the palace alive. So because of this Lady Celestia had only four attendants (five, if you count me), which was rather small especially when compared to Lady Luna's twelve. Many worried that if Lady Celestia didn't raise her number soon, her influence and power in the palace would deminish quickly, however the woman always brushed this off.

After getting promoted as an attendant, I was given my own room, so I guess I became kind of famous. It really pissed me off that my bastard kidnappers would gain a higher sum of money, but I chose to focus on the good, which was that I didn't have to listen to Pinkie's horrifying snoring any longer. I painted my room with lightning bolts, clouds and many more, my father believed that my love for speed and flashing lights led to my love of thunderstorms whilst my grandmother believed I was just not a very safe person.

I guess it was a little bit of both.

I found myself slumped on my surprisingly comfy bed, sighing. I couldn't figure out what job I had to do, though I didn't care as long as I didnt have to deal with the makeup or outfits here. I somewhat got along with the other attendants but they all seemed to give me weird looks, like that violet haired one from earlier....

After a short while of unpacking, Rainbow Dash awkwardly stumbled across Lady Celestia's quarters, she watched with intrugue, trying her best to remember whe they were. There was Rarity, a pureblood Ponyville native, she had long purple hair that had multiple soft curls in them, she seemed to be in charge of the consort's beauty, especially in regards to makeup or clothing. She was certainly attractive enough to be a concubine herself, there were times where she could be rather tempermental though, so Rainbow tried to remember that.

Then there was Fluttershy, a light skinned foreigner, you could tell she was a foreigner due to the fact that on her visible shoulder plates there were two yellow wings plastered on it. She had long and wavy pink hair and as noticed by Rainbow (with a hint of jealousy might I add) was rather blessed in the chest region. Another thing Rainbow had noticed was the girl's skittish and quiet behavior, everytime she was approached Fluttershy visibly resisted the urge to squeal in shock and whenever she spoke it only ever came out as a small whisper. Dash decided to avoid upsetting her, she'd probably feel bad afterwards.

Then there was Applejack, an earth type Ponyville native. Applejack was rather cool headed but also a huge workaholic, she had blonde hair that was tied with one simple red ribbon and freckles dotted all over her face. Applejack seemed to be the blunt type who always spoke her mind, this made Rainbow internally scheme ways to piss the girl off, assuming it would be funny.

Last but not least there was Starlight Glimmer, the head attendant. She was a pureblood who was in charge of watching over the other three and making sure they did their jobs properly, she was also in charge of acting as a caretaker to Princess Twilight, Lady Celestia's baby. Starlight had large curly hair that was a mix of purples and teels, her outfit while still simple was very obviously more well made and had more fancy designs than the other attendants. Starlight seemed to be very strict and loyal, said by AJ to "over do it a lot" so Rainbow chose to be on her best behavior around her.

After roaming she chose to approach Rarity, who was dusting off the windows "hey um..." she began before stopping "I finished unpacking, is there anything you want me to do?"

Rarity looked down at the short girl "oh... you're the..." the pale woman then clasped her hands and quickly turned Rainbow around, borderline pushing her "oh, it's quite alright dearie, we four can most definately handle this on our own, so you just go and rest! You must be exhausted from unpacking and moving!" Rarity smiled.

Rainbow pouted "but I barely had anything to move or unpack..."

Before she knew it, the two were at the door "here, have some left over honey snacks from the recent tea party!" She said before scrambling the pouch into her hands "make sure you eat..." Rarity finished with an odd expression on her face, and before Rainbow Dash could respond the door was slammed in her face.

I feel like I should have been offended.

It was no secret that Lady Celestia's attendants were hard workers, it was seen as the norm for lower servants to come and clean a consorts room, however that wasn't needed as the four attendants would do it all alone. They also took care of baby Twilight, which only led me to the conclusion that the wet nurse was fired, and since Lady Celestia wasn't using the powder I assume it was the wet nurse. I never got to be a hard worker at first, everytime I asked to help out, the four attendants would push me away and give me food to console. It seemed as though my job was to just lounge and eat, and although that may sound ideal, that wasn't the type of life I wanted. I was lazy but I still wanted to do something.

And now that I think about it, that look Rarity gave me was rather suspicious. I knew those who entered the Solar Palace (Lady Celestia's domain) were a dime in a dozen, so of course a pennyless foriegner like me would get weird looks from the noble pureblooded girls, but that look Rarity gave me...

Pity, it was pity.

But why?

So, I found out why Rarity was so sorry for me.

When food was prepared for any of the Emperor's consorts, it had to pass through multiple different people before it even reached their table, and as the Emperor's favored, Lady Celestia's food had to be the most thoroughly checked as more people would want her dead. It's said that when she was pregnant, two of the food tasters were poisoned and only one made it out alive, meaning she was served poison twice.

Even worse, after what happened to the now dead prince, everyone's been even more panicked and worried, and normally they would use a lower servant as a food tester...

No wonder Rarity felt so sorry for me.

Of course they would, they believed as I was being used as some kind of soak rag, that being said, why in the name of Luna's dark plot was Soarin smiling at me like that?

Anyway, I couldn't tell the level of cloudiness from magic or any potions in the bowl since they used a wooden one.

The smell is fine...

The color seems to be okay, no mix or merging...

I put it in my mouth, and nothing is going numb...

...

...

"From what I can tell it seems fine" I said, which was followed by a collective sigh. The chef then gave me another plate and asked me to test it, I realize now that if slow acting poison was used then the need for a food tester becomes obsolete, and even if it was fast acting it probably wouldn't work on me.

Why?

Well, when I was back at home, to test my strength and what my body could take, I did a lot of experiments on myself. I did some crazy shit like purposely chug the juice made from poisonous fruits, make a venomous snake bite be to see how long I could hold out until I needed to use an antidote, I would see how bad permanent scars could be by purposely burning myself, and of course I was known for running and flying non stop at full speed until I eventually crashed into things. Anyway, little by little my body grew used to things such as poison so I guess having me as the food taster is sort of a bad idea, I guess you could say I was lucky.

After I tested the food, I went up to Starlight who was fanning herself off in a corner "yo, head attendant lady" I said as I approached her "I personally think you guys should use silver plates, since a majority of potions are made with magic and magic disintegrates and becomes more noticable in silver, meaning you could probably see the clouds and sparkles from it, using silver plates would be better if you really wanna identify the poison" I shrugged.

Starlight stared into my eyes for a bit before letting out a sigh "that's... exactly what Soarin said you'd say, we do usually use silver plates for that exact reason, but he said to use a wooden plate and see if and when you point it out"

I rolled my eyes "so the bisexual monk was testing me?"

"Bisexual... monk?"

Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy roamed around the Solar Palace walls, chatting "well, ah'll say that newbie's got some horrible scars, ah mean, they're worse than mahn and ah used tah fight for ah livin'!" Applejack said with a stretch "what in tha name of Chrysalis' wig did she do tah get 'em?"

Fluttershy shrugged "she is a foreigner... and it's obvious she was sold off... who knows what she's been through..."

Rarity gasped "oh no, isn't obvious!?"

AJ looked around "nah, not really Rare"

Rarity rolled her eyes "well duh" she placed a hand to her chest "the poor girl was obviously kidnapped, they probably abused her since she was a foreigner, giving her all of those scars! How horrific!"

Fluttershy's eyes got wide "and after they got bored of treating her like a plaything, they sold her off to the harem...!"

AJ nodded "only tah eventually become ah food tester for poison..."

The three women looked at each other, before Rarity gently dabbed her eyes with a hankerchief and the three spoke "what a tragedy!"

I was only ever summoned twice a day, which was so I could test Lady Celestia's main meals. After some time the other attendants got used to me, and I realized how oddly nice to me they were acting, that didn't matter though. One day this all changed when I was addressed by the Emperor himself, I didn't know his actual name nor did I know what he looked like, but I was asked to go to his room because he apparently wanted to speak to me about something, which scared me because the Emperor wanting to speak to someone meant two things:

1. He wanted to sleep with me (which is highly unlikely given my lack of purebloodedness, my not so attractice look and the fact that I wasn't a royal consort).

2. I was going to recieve corporal or capital punishment for something I did.

I reluctantly made my way to the Emperor's room, his room was decked out with weaponry and armor, the whole place had a red and black color scheme which only gave me the creeps even more. Then I saw him and almost pissed myself.

This man was pale, as in, the empitome of pureblood pale. He had black hair that reached his shoulders and ominously piercing red eyes. He wore a black and golden robe that was embroided with a lot of rose imagery, there was a painting of Lady Celestia to his right and of Lady Luna to his left. This man looked me up and down, his eyes peering me up and down before reaching my head, he was probably gawking at my weirdly colored hair. He probably wasn't expecting a foreigner with rainbow hair, freckles and heavy eyebags when he called for me, did he. He soon coughed, placing his ring laced fingers together.

"So, you're the speedy rainbow haired herbalist the rumors have been talking of? Certainly not what I expected, 'the rainbow streak' they call you, apprently nobody can catch up with you and you could outrun a panther if you tried to" he chuckled.

I knew now wasn't the time to brag, but I just had to "correction, I can outrun a panther, I can also outfly a bald eagle and outrun cheetah"

The Emperor looked at my with a look of surprise, he then chuckled "what is your name?"

"Rainbow Dash sir" I quickly responded.

"Rainbow Dash? Well, you may already know me but I feel the need to introduce myself, I am Emperor Sombra" he smiled "and I call onto you today for I hear that aside from your inhumane speeds, that you are also gifted with herbs and medicine"

I nodded "yes sir, I worked as an apothecary before coming here"

"That's good to know... as you know Lady Luna has been extremely ill and her condition seems to get worse with every passing day, would you take a look at it for me?"

I resisted the urge to grimace, I knew that what he expected was for me to heal her and make her feel better, and if it were truly poison and she was being treated competently then she should already be better, if not then I probably couldn't make her better. However, that look on his face stopped me from speaking or saying that to him, Emperor Sombra had a smile, it wasn't one of glee or amusement, it was a smile of triumph. He knew that I couldn't say anything in response and he knew that I had no choice, he looked at me as if I could magic Lady Luna's illness away, but I couldn't and I felt bad for not being able too. That smile...

It scared me.

So to avoid losing my head I decided to nod and agree before leaving, it wasn't long before I found myself at the Eclipse Moon Palace the next day.

"UNBELIEVABLE!"

I watched in boredom as a rather pampered attendant slapped a plate of food from my hand "do you really expect Lady Luna to eat such... FOREIGNER FOOD!?" she yelled in my face, grimacing as she took in my features "you better make your dirty ass useful and go make something else!" I watched her as the others laughed and she walked towards them, she was dressed similarly to Starlight and had purple hair tied in multiple buns, I could tell she was a Ponyville native based on the odd markings on her hands that seemed to look like buttons, meaning she was an earth type. "I assume that's Suri Polomare, the head attendant for this place..." I muttered.

I didn't understand what was so wrong with the food, as if Lady Luna was to truly get healed then she needed her eating habits fixed A.S.A.P. Since it was poison in her body, she needed to properly release it from her body via pee or poop, meaning it would be better for her diet to consist of fruits rather than meats and dry rice, to think me using common sense would end in my own cooking being slammed on the ground. God, I feel bad for Lady Luna, having herself be surrounded by such morons should be equivalent to suicide.

I watched as Suri scoffed at me before bringing Lady Luna her usual meal, granted it was very nutritional and had a lot of fruits and such, how in the name of Cadence's necklace should a woman who can barely breath without assistsnce eat such a heavy meal? Do this idiotic biscuit heads not think? Are their brains filled with fancy hair trinkets? As Lady Luna began violently coughing, the girls panicked, and Suri pointed at me "it's because of that nasty foreigner, she's contaminating Lady Luna's precious air! Kick her out before she pollutes our lungs!"

I scowled "hey, don't you dare touch me!"

...

I ended up being kicked out.

I realized that since those idiots didn't listen, Lady Luna was most likely going to die...

No...

Lady Celestia would never forgive me if I let her die!

With force I opened the door and held back a laugh as they all jumped and looked at me, I gave the women a harsh look "now listen here you dumbasses, I was ordered by Emperor Sombra himself to make sure Lady Luna makes it out alive, and I refuse to fail my job" I then calmly walked towards Suri and looked her dead in the eyes "if Lady Luna doesn't make it, I will happily tell him that you all purposely stopped me from being able to treat her"

"Th-The Emperor sent you?" Suri stuttered.

"Yes, now move" I said before barging past her and approaching the dying consort. Her eyes had practically caved in and her body was extremely malnurished, I held on to her hand "cold..." I muttered under my breath before tracing a finger on her cheek "sleek, they still apply makeup to her?" I asked before looking at the substance. It was plain white with dots of red.

Wait a second...

I stood still, horrified by what I had discovered. I turned around slowly, glaring at every single attendant in the room "so..." I began "which one of you does the Lady's makeup?" I said, walking around before pointing at Suri "let me guess, it's you?"

Suri snorted "well, duh? Only I know how to make her grace look as elegant and as graceful as she does!"

I didn't respond, all I did was jump and locked myself in flight mode. I floated upwards so I could be face to face with Suri and did what any normal person would do.

I slapped her, as hard as I could.

The sound of the connection echoed through the room, I watched as Suri fell to the ground and the other attendants gasped "what the hell!?" some random one yelled.

I didn't look up at them as I landed "what do you think? I'm simply making an embarrassing idiot feel like an embarrassed idiot" I said before grabbing Suri by the buns in her hair and dragging her towards Lady Luna's counter. She constantly yelled about how much it hurt but I could honestly care less, I grunted, picking up a countainer full of powder before pouring it on the morons head, making her cough "you do realize this is full of poison, right?"

Suri looked up at me, crying as I knelt down to her level "so I hope you feel happy, now you get to look elegant and graceful too" I then pointed at the dying consort "and just like your precious Lady Luna, you'll get to enjoy eyes that cave into their sockets, sagging skin, and a body so weak that breathing becomes a challenge" I made sure to hit her again "are you really that stupid!? Or did you simply ignore why this was banned!? This is what made her sick in the first place, and instead of taking the initiative to throw it away and using your common sense and not using it anymore, you choose to consistantly expose her to the thing that is trying to kill her!?"

Suri's lip began wobbling "b-but I couldn't f-find any other powders! A-And that was just so pretty, I-I thought she'd like it most..."

I felt my eye twitch "you... you really have the nerve to sit there and make such a moronic excuse for poisoning a dying woman? And expect me to believe it? What, are you trying to insult my intelligence...?"

I placed my hand on the powdered floor and took a hands full, smearing it all over the earth type's face, before bringing her face close to mine.

"Tell me Polomare, who the FUCK under Lady Faust's gracious sun would want the poison that ended their own child's life...!?"

I finally let go of her and watched as she fell on the floor "go and clean your face" I said before looking at the others "and you morons! Why the hell are you just standing there!? Someone go and wash off Lady Luna's face and come and clean this mess on the floor before she ends up inhaling it! Do it at once, that is an order!" I yelled, walking off to make a plate of diluted rice for her, not paying any mind to the scrambling attendants.

In my fit of rage, I hadn't noticed Soarin standing just outside the kitchen, watching me "woah... tell me to never piss of a short person again, especially if they have rainbow hair and can fly"

His quip had calmed me down enough for me to realize what I had done "woah... I did that?" I quietly said before squealing "duuuude... that was so kickass! I was so awesome back there! Did you see how I slapped her? The way I dragged her back? Like... um... some kind of evil empress!" I celebrated.

Soarin sighed "only you Dash would excited over publicly humiliating someone"

Lady Luna's condition was even more horrible than I had imagined, even after I had diluted her rice and cereals in water, the poor woman could barely reach for the spoon, so I was in turn made to force the food down her throat. I grimaced as I took a whiff of her, the sent of urination and sickness was very strong and only made me feel even angrier "so not only do these idiots give her poison on the daily, but they don't even have the decency to wash her properly...!?"

I made my way to the living area where they were resting "listen idiots, it turns out you guys couldn't even wash her properly, so I'm gonna need one of you to set up a bucket with hot water and a cloth, and I better see a good chunk of you helping, ya hear? You already almost killed her, the least you could do is make sure she doesn't stink" I said before walking back, smirking as they went on about how 'rude' I was being to them. I found it funny how they could call me dirty and claim I was polluting the air, but me calling them idiots for almost causing the death of the person they were working for was apparently rude.

I made sure Lady Luna dranks as much tea as possible, and the second I realized she was able to chew and swallow without assistance I began adding fruits to her meals and increasing the amount of rice she ate. One day as I was preparing her meal she turned her head to face me "wh..."

I looked down at her "yes your grace?"

"Wh... why didn't you... let me simply... die...?" She barely croaked out.

At first I stood still, a little shaken as that was the first thing she had said to anyone in almost a month, however I quickly regained my composure "well my Lady, if you truly want to die you can just stop eating" I said before bringing her spoon, as I had expected she opened her mouth and took the rice "as long as you continue to eat, that's a sign you don't want to die" I smiled.

The consort looked at me "y... you wor... work with Tia, yes?" I nodded "tell.... her th... at I'm sorry for... hitting her..." she caught her breath "and... calling her a.... witch..."

As time passed, Lady Luna began slowly recovering, and after two months of her treatment, she had began walking on her own and was beginning to gain her magic back which allowed her to do simple spells such as levitation, not only that but Suri had apparently been whipped and sent home. I sighed, as long as she wasn't poisoned again she would be alright. To be honest, I was afraid that once she was healed she would begin treating me like a garbage foreigner as her attendants had, but she didn't and I had realized that although she was extremely proud... she wasn't a narssicist. After the confrontation I had been under the impression that she was cruel and malicious, only caring about herself and the emperor, but that wasn't the case. If anything I believe she had an attitide more fit for an empress than even Lady Celestia had.

"Rainbow Dash... shall I ever get pregnant?"

I stood infront of Lady Luna as she sat on her bed in her night clothes "I dunno to be honest, you're gonna have to wait and see"

She gave a hollow chuckle "wait and see? I wasted the Emperor's favor and killed his son... I see no reason as to why he would ever visit me again..."

I simply bowed "the one who ordered me to help you was the Emperor himself, I'm pretty sure he'll come and see you again, I dunno when but probably when I've returned to the Solar Sun Palace" now, I wasn't sure if his visit would he fueled by his own personal feelings or the politics of the situation, but I'm pretty sure even Lady Luna knew that love and affection were non existant in a royal harem.

"How...? How can a woman like me, a woman who ignored all warnings and ended up killing his son... win against Lady Celestia?"

I let out and exhale and walked towards a flower vase "whether you can win or not means jack in my opinion, I mean there's like what, a billion different types of flowers in this world?" I gently played with the lilys that had been placed there "I mean, how stupid would it be if we all focused on how pretty the petals are or how straight the stem is?"

Lady Luna blushed before fiddling with her fingers "b-but I don't have soft pink eyes or two toned hair..."

I gave a quick glance at her chest and shrugged "well, if it accounts for anything you're like waaaay bigger than your sister" I said, earning a blush from Luna and a glare from the attendants "what I mean is, you always had size in your favor, you're totally more confidant than Lady Celestia and a lot better built, I'd say your body and personality are your biggest weapons against her, actually..." I walked up to her "could I have your ear for a second?" Lady Luna nodded as I began whispering to her, after some time she continued to blush even harder until her face was red.

"Oh my..." she quietly said as she looked down at her chest, before falling back with a squee and embarrassed giggles.

I smirked "I'll be taking my leave tomorrow morning" I simply stated before walking off. What had I told her? Well, back when I worked with the prostitutes, they taught me something called "the secret technique", granted I didn't and still don't have the body to use it so it was sort of wasted for me, but I realized it was probably made for someone like Lady Luna anyway.

Hm, you wanna know what it is?

...

...

Nah, I don't feel like telling you.