Only if for a night

Only if for a night.

By Mr. Ignorable

Nervously pacing back and forth, the organizer with his fancy suit and lapels was having a meltdown. "Oh where is she, where is she?!" He muttered furiously under his breath. Behind him, separated by curtains, was the entire fine arts and music society. The news of Octavia Phillaharmonica's return after a six month battle with depression with a debut single that  roused the interests of every single pompous "star" of the community. They'd all heard of the prestigious cellist's fall from grace during the Grand Galloping Gala as she consented to one of the Element Bearer's odd requests. The resulting "Pony Polka" had nearly destroyed her reputation and made her the laughing stock of the town, forcing her into proverbial exile.

As he was worrying, he heard the back door opened and a single grey and disheveled earth pony walked through its doors. Her coat was mussed and dirty. Her eyes were big and bloodshot. Her mane stuck out in every single direction. But she had a small smile on.

"M-M-Miss. Phillaharmonica! Wh-what happened to you?" He asked, rushing to her side and fussing over the state of her mane. "Heavens to Betsy miss! You look like you've just been in a barfight!" His voice nearly went up and octave with worry as he rubbed out the various burrs and tried to coagulate the various curly hairs with his spit. Trying to tame the wild thing.

"I'm fine Metronome." She spoke softly, her voice cracking as she winced and painfully swallowed. It was then that the organizer noticed that she was lacking something. Something big, cumbersome,  and important.

"Deary me oh my! Where is your Cello?!" He asked, voice raising an octave as he paced back and forth with worry.

Her reply was a strange one. She smiled and pulled out a coffee stained and slightly burned page. Nearly illegible scribbling in it's margins and multiple crossed out lines along its ends.

"What is that?" He asked curiously, taking it from the cellist and looking it over. The pages smelled of cinder and caffeine.

"I would call it my music sheet. But it's something...more. Well, to me anyway" She giggled a bit, her voice still hoarse. She took the sheet in her mouth, right out of his hooves as she passed him by.

"Ms. Octavia! You  can't possibly go out there looking like that!" He shouted. She turned and gave him a confident smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Watch me."

~~

The house was a mess to say the least. All the curtains had been drawn to block the midday sun. The faucet was leaking. A steady drip of water could be heard from the kitchen. The parlor and music rooms were a mess. The instruments lay strewn all over the sofas and loveseats. A mountain of dirty dishes and take-out boxes had been thrown haphazardly all around the bedroom. A few clicks and screeches coming from the resident cockroaches, rats, and raccoons that'd been drawn to the various foodstuffs lying around.

She sat at the foot of the couch. A single, blank sheet of paper staring her in the face. The skin underneath her eyes were purple with blood. Brightly colored orange pill bottles lay on the table. Blue and white stripped pain medications lay everywhere. On the dusty old T.V, the dying plants that hadn't been tended to in months, the stale water in the kitchen and the rotting fruits in the fruit bowls.

She ached all over. The dull throb resounding in her lower back, the sharp pain in her ribs and legs when she made any sudden movements. The massive headache she got in the daylight, the pounding thud of the infected tissues in her throat and the lacerated gums all coming together to form a cacophony of pain.

It had come as a one two punch. First had come the "Pony Polka" conundrum, her shining moment. A chance to play as part of the Royal Ensemble during the most auspicious of events. The Grand Galloping Gala. Who knew how much of an impact one song could have?

"Cheer up Octy! Those old geezers will get over it! And you'll be right back to your fiddling self soon enough!"

"Vinyl! I do not "fiddle." I play Cello! An upright instrument honed through many years of- "

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Drinks are on me!"

She had to smile, if nothing else. "Least my memories are still here." She joked, wincing as she picked herself up off the floor.

~~

Metronome paced in place, nervous as The Cellist climbed the short steps to the stage. Into the limelight she came forth, to the initial applaud, then to the confused muttering of the audience. Sitting in the middle of the stage, was a piano, not a cello. The murmurs grew until they became a white noise. No voice discernible from its peers. Acting quickly, he followed the musician on stage. Grabbing the microphone attached to the piano, he cleared his throat.

"Ladies and gentlemen. If I could please have your attention. As we all know, the...incident involving Miss. Philharmonica during the Grand Galloping Gala was....rather unfortunate. Driving the young musician into seclusion." He spoke as if she wasn't there, wasn't standing right beside him giving him a look that almost said "what are you doing?"

"And as we all know, the loss of Miss Philharmonica's...significant other the poor girl into a bout of depression. But fear not! For she has overcome! And tonight, she will come forth and show us all the fruits of her labor! Of love, of loss, and of redemption! Ladies and Gentlemen, a round of applause for Miss Octavia, Philharmonica.

A brief bout of unsure applause followed, petering out as Octavia bowed and moved to the piano. And as she sat down, she took a deep breath, and began playing.

~~

Sighing with frustration, Octavia crumpled the sheet of paper and threw it into the fire, forcing herself to stand even though the pain threatened to make her keel over. Her knees ached and nearly buckled, the femur bones brittle and the kneecap misaligned. Hobbling, she made her way to the kitchen. Muttering as she rummaged around for a bottle of pain-killer. Letting out a little 'humph' of triumph, she picked up a full bottle of the stuff, shuffling back to the sofa and planting herself right back at its base.

"Side effects may include seizures, vomiting, intense abdominal pain, hemorrhaging, dizziness, hallucinations, and death." She read out of pure boredom. Turning the bottle round and round in contemplation.

"Ah, Miss Octavia. I'm glad to see you're awake."

"W-what? What's going on? Where am I? What happened? Is Vinyl alright?"

"To answer your questions Miss, you were involved in a stagecoach crash. Currently, you are in Saint Canterlot  Hospital. You are currently being treated for damage to the Thoracic and Lumbar- sorry. Your mid to lower back. As well as lacerations to your throat. Also, your top three ribs have been broken, there's scarring on the rest of them, and fractures have been detected on the middlemost ribs. Overall, your ribcage is...severely fractured. And frankly miss, you're lucky to be alive."

"W-w-what about Vinyl? The mare I came in with, what about her?"

The doctor takes off his glasses and looks her straight in the eye.

"From the police reports taken at the scene of the accident, your coach driver was....under the influence. At one fourteen A.M, the two of you were taking a carriage back from the Prancing Pony. From what I hear, a prestigious bar frequented by Canterlot's musical elite. Since it is situated in the Stonehills community, you took Fallen Tree Drive. Correct?"

"Yes. What is this about?"

"From witnesses reports at the scene of the accident, officers gather that your driver's intoxication level was about five times the legal limit. Due to his....impairment. He missed the sharp turn about three fourths of the road down from the bottom. As a result, he missed the turn, sending the carriage plummeting down into the new construction zone below."

"....Yes. And your point is?"

"You miss, were sent tumbling in the carriage. Good news is you were shielded from all the equipment. Beaten, battered, but in one piece. Miss Vinyl however....had it worse."

"What happened? Is she in pain? Where is she?"

"In the Intensive Care Unit. At first impact, she was thrown from the carriage, dropping seventy five feet before being impaled on a pile of PVC pipes."

"....Please doctor. Tell me she's okay. Please for the love of Celestia have some good news for me."

"It...is my firm believe Miss Octavia, never to tell a lie. For a lie is always more painful than the truth. For a lie gives you hope, and hope is the deadliest, most heartbreaking weapon if in the wrong hooves."

"No please. Please tell me some good news. I'm begging you!"

"Miss Scratch was impaled on the piping. The pipes are...stuck inside her body. There are six of them. Two have pierced and shattered her front shoulder bones. We removed...most of them. But the remainder is still lodged in the front muscles and tissues. Two more have lodged themselves in her...middle areas, barely missing her spine. They are...embedded in the lung. Somehow, the lungs are still pumping blood, though for how long, we're not sure. And..finally, the last two pipes are in her gastrointestinal tract. The first one is angling downwards. It has irrevocably destroyed her gallbladder and has pierced holes in both her large and small intestine, finally, it's inside her uterus. And it's causing massive bleeding. The second one goes through her Pancreas down into her stomach. It has ruptured the stomach lining, causing gastric juices to eat away at her stomach. Understand this, she's running on borrowed time. The stomach itself is keeping the diaphragm up, once that falls, the pipes will fall onto the rest of her major organs. After that, well, the pipes will compress and eventually rupture  the rest of her organs.”

"Oh Celestia."

"She wants to see you."

~~

In the dark room, a hollowness overtook Octavia as she sat there, the doctor's message kept replaying in her head, over and over again. Oh how she wanted it to stop, but she knew. She knew that if it stopped, her voice would take his place.

"How are you Octavia?"

Acting quickly, Octavia grimaced once before slamming her head once against the coffee table. The worn and eaten wood gave way instantly as the film of dust covering the piece of furniture erupted, sending dirt and debris everywhere. It was all coming back to her.

"No no no! Oh for the love of Celestia no!" She shouted, getting up and stumbling for a bit before slamming her head against the mantle of the fireplace. The automatic fireplace lit up, sending up sparks first, then igniting the coal. Stumbling and bleary eyed, Octavia shook her head before falling on her rump.

"I'm...fine Vinyl."

Curling into a small ball, all she could do was mumble incoherently and sob as the memories won, taking her back to the dark place.

~~

The medication put her on edge as she once again glanced at her bandaged flank. The white straps concealing her cutie mark. Her ribs ached every single time she took a breath. Her throat felt raw and painful. It throbbed dully as she continued walking.

"Doctor, how long do you think she has?" Her voice sounded soft and broken. The tall caramel unicorn looked down at her with pity in his eyes.

"She has an hour. You know, she woke up first. We tried giving her anesthesia, but she fought us. Kept calling for you by name, asking if you were okay." He chuckled without looking at her as the two approached Vinyl's doorway. Nurses and doctors briskly trotted in and out of the big vault door leading to the ICU. Their jaws set in a grim line as they attended to the various victims of the Carriage crash.

"You know, that accident of yours blocked off Fallen Tree drive. It's quite a headliner really. The 'highlight of the evening, so to speak” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood to no avail as the two passed row upon row of squirming patients. Some were sedated, resting quietly as the BPM monitors sounded off every time their hearts beat. Some however, were grievously wounded. One mare in particular, was viciously spasming on a gurney. Her eyes were rolled back in her head as several nurses tried and failed to subdue the patient.

"Code blue. We have a code blue." Sounded a nurse as she reached for the intercom switch on a wall, freeing herself from the desperate struggle. Her voice was calm, almost soothing as other nurses rushed by her, some with I.V drips, other carrying cumbersome machinery. The mare's spasms grew stronger as she kicked and flailed. Octavia heard a crack as the mare's left back leg shot out and connected with one of the nurse's front legs, sending her skidding painfully across the room. She let out a cry as she tried to get up, only to fall again as her right front leg collapsed from underneath her.

"I'll have to attend to that. I'm sorry Miss Octavia. Her room's two corridors down and to your right. Now if you'll excuse me." He nodded once before rushing off to help the group of nurses as they fought to gain control. The patient's face had turned blue now. The BPM machine going wild as her heart hammered in her chest.

Passing the accident, victim, Octavia walked in silence. Her thoughts racing a mile a minute as she fought hard to keep the growing tidal wave of dread and sadness at bay. What would she say? What could she say? She would be okay wouldn’t she? No, that’s not possible, she would be dying. She would be horrible. Would she even be awake? Would she already be...gone?

The thoughts were agonizing. She could think of nothing but her. Her smell, her smile, her voice. and the horrors that awaited her. Gathering her courage, she put one hoof in front of the other, her morbid thoughts occupying her brain as her muscles did all the work. Eventually, she found herself in front of Vinyl’s room. The last place she wanted to be.

~~

The room felt more sinister than ever as she lay there babbling.

“Hey there Octy.” Vinyl coughed, nasal tubes taped under her snout filling her nostrils with pressurized oxygen. Octavia had to cringe, the holes created by the pipes were gruesome, with dried blood caking the fur as it bleed into the bed sheets. Her heart was beating slowly, the Ventilator pumping its accordion like bags up and down, filling her flattened lungs with oxygen. It was like she could sense it.

“Hey Vinyl. How’re you doing?” Askes Octavia, moving to Vinyl’s beside and lowering herself painfully in the chair. Vinyl’s pale. Even paler than normal. She’s also gaunt, her cheekbones sticking through the skin and her ribs poking painfully against her coat.

“Fine and dandy.” She replies sarcastically, trying for a laugh before doubling over. Hacking and coughing rake her frame as she spits up blood.

“Vinyl! Be careful! You might injure yourself further! Please, try to refrain from slowing your recovery.” Remarked Octavia, smoothing the rumpled bed sheets. Vinyl gives her a flat look.

“Octy. I know what’s happening to me. The doc told me. Said I only had an hour to live. Said it was a miracle how I was even awake.” Her voice sounded tired, flat.

“Now don’t say that Vinyl! You don’t know that! Maybe, maybe it’ll be a miraculous recovery! Maybe..maybe it’ll heal on its own! Who knows maybe you could-”

“ENOUGH! I know what’s happening to me Octy! The least you could do is acknowledge it! Please!” Another bout of coughing followed.

“Octy, please. Oh Celestia I don’t want to die. Oh Celestia, oh Celestia.” Vinyl breaks down sobbing as the reality of the situation destroys the eye-of-the-storm zen she’d built around herself. Octavia clutches her as the two sob and cry.

“It’s okay Vinyl. It’ll all be okay.” Octavia finally says, after half an hour of crying. A sort of hollow feeling of utter emptiness had invaded her mind.

“Now you’re just saying things.” Sniffled Vinyl, wincing in pain as her medication steadily begins wearing off. Her heart’s beating even slower now. The beats spastic, few and far between. Octavia can see it, the six hole wounds heaving as Vinyl struggles to catch her breath, her diaphragm heaving as she fought to stay awake.

“Octy. Listen, I don’t got a whole lot of time. I’m too tired Octy. But if I’m gonna go. I’m gonna go after I’ve said my two-cents worth. Look at me Octy.” Vinyl calls, lifting her partner’s head with her increasingly feeble hoof. “I love you Octy. I have always, always loved you. Even when I first saw on that first day of school when we first met I had the hots for you. I tried to deny it. To stifle it. To starve it out. I kept telling myself ‘you’ll get over it’, ‘it’s just a crush.’ But it was something more. And when I first heard you play that Cello of yours. Oh Celestia, that was it. I thought to myself ‘I have got to get this mare. Come hell or high water’. And I remember, when we dated. Those were the happiest days of my life. No matter how shitty my gigs were. I’d always galloped home. Because there you would be, fiddling away on your Cello of yours. And you’d always ask me ‘trouble much?’ And I’d always say ‘yup’. Oh Celestia. And  when you asked me to marry you? I could have died happy then and there.” By now, Octavia’s tearing up again, trying to wipe away the stubborn salt that refuses to leave.

“And even though this is a shit play by life. I can still die happy. Octy, these last couple of years have been the best years of my life. And I’ll never trade em’ for anything. Not even another day. Because all the days I’ve had, I’ve spent with you. So, when I’m gone, keep doing what you do best Octy. You got to soldier on by till the dark clouds are gone. And I pray to the light, that one day, you’ll find your love.” Vinyl’s voice is softer now, Octavia prays silently as she waits for the BPM machine to beep again, signaling her lover’s life, if even for a couple of minutes.

“But Vinyl. How? You were my everything! How am I supposed to move on?! To rebuild?! Vinyl I gave you everything! I have nothing!” She screams at the dying mare. Now on her back as her chest slows even further.

But just as the life begins to  truly drain from her eyes. She smiles.

“If I’m your everything. Then tear me down.”

~~

The episode passes as Octavia rose to her hooves slowly. The light of grim determination set in her eyes as she goes to the kitchen and poured herself some stale coffee, making her way back to the living room where she plopped down at the foot of the couch. Taking the pill bottle from the wreckage of the table, she popped the lid open.

“If home is where the heart is, then I’m six feet under.” She announces to no pony in particular before downing the whole bottle and chasing it with coffee. For a little while, she was perfectly fine. Taking the few minutes to reflect back on her life and all her accomplishments. All her victories and defeats. All that she’s ever done. And all she could think about was that hollow emptiness she had felt on Vinyl’s deathbed. All she felt was that hollow emptiness. It was like her heart had been ripped out and replaced by metal. A cold and unfeeling clockwork beat.

All too soon however, it came on. A powerful sense of nausea and bewilderment. Uneasily rising to her hooves, she flew to the kitchen, slamming her head against the counter before rising once again, hurling into the sink before collapsing and rising once more. Her vision was blurry as the mare made her way to the bedroom, leaning on the banister for support more than once. Her breathing came quick and shallow. She became light-headed. Her tongue became cotton in her mouth as she struggled to heave herself onto the bed, accidentally knocking the stylus on the Gramophone by her bedside onto the record. Panting and sweating, she groaned in pain, fighting for consciousness along the way. “S-so. This is what it feels like to die, huh?” she mused, forcing each word out. Her nostrils were useless, she was relying on mouth-breathing now as the last of the dim lights around her steadily, but surely, extinguished themselves.

~~

“Um..Miss Harmonica?” Whispers Metronome. The Cellist sits quietly on the piano stool. Her eyes are closed and the room is dark. Save for a single spotlight, painted on her.

“Aren’t you going to...play?” He asks from the wings. She gives him a half-hearted smile. And just as the worry began peaking, Octavia began to play.

~~~

The painful arrhythmic beating of her heart fading as she struggled for breath, panting and gritting her teeth as her heart lost the fight. Smiling one last time, Octavia stumbled to her sofa and fell as the last thumps of her heart faded into silence.

~~~~~~~

"Awake?"